,9COGNITO 
,EXP]I5CES ?AT DEFY ID5TIFICATION 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,ANONYM\S 

,TEXT 3 

,9TRODUCTION 

,?IS BOOK IS AB\T LIV+ 9 HID+4 ,IT PI]CES ! D>KNESS & LEAPS 9TO ! SECRECY ( ! 9COGNITO1 A P>ALLEL DIM5SION 9 :I* EV5 :AT C\LD BE SAID (T5 IS NOT4 ,\T ( EXCESS ( TACT1 FE> OR BECAUSE ONE ?9KS IT IS NOT RELEVANT4 ,OR1 9 C]TA9 MILIEUX & 9 ! WOR/ CASES1 DUE TO M]E POLITICAL TACTICS4 ,BUT1 EV5 AT A GLANCE1 ! WORLD ( CL&E/9E PEOPLE IS NOT A DES]T L&2 ON ! CONTR>Y IT IS POPULAT$ BY LIV+ BE+S1 EXP]I5CES & IDEAS ?AT >E V]Y CLOSE TO \RS1 9 BO? ! MO/ MIS]ABLE & ! MO/ FASC9AT+ ASPECTS ( \R LIVES1 CLOSE TO \R MO/ >D5T DESIRES & PASSIONATE DAYDREAMS4 

,! FOLL[+ CONTRIBUTIONS TELL ( ?IS WORLD4 ,!Y >E ! VOICES ( PEOPLE :O HAVE LIV$ OR >E /ILL LIV+ 9 HID+1 VOICES ( DIFF]5T TONES & EMOTIONS1 EA* BE>+ !IR [N MESSAGE4 ,!Y TELL !IR EXP]I5CE ( A CL&E/9E SITUATION1 :I* CAN D]IVE FROM P]SONAL *OICE OR CAUSES BEYOND ONE'S WILL4 ,= SOME ?IS EXP]I5CE WAS A RESULT ( !IR REVOLUTION>Y /RUGGLE2 = O!RS1 ! MANY :O1 ALONG ! ROAD ( EXPLOITATION & ! ATROCITY ( BORD]S HAVE NO?+ MORE TO LOSE1 NOT EV5 ,I,D1 ?IS EXP]I5CE IS A RESULT ( !IR SOCIAL CONDITION4 

,IF ! NAMES ( ! AU?ORS >E NOT TO BE F\ND 9 ?IS BOOK IT IS NOT \T ( CAUTION OR IDEOLOGICAL *OICE4 ,IT IS MORE A QUE/ION (1 LET'S SAY1 GOOD TA/E4 ,9 FACT1 WE PREF] ! CL&E/9E EXP]I5CES TO SPEAK = !MSELVES1 RA!R ?AN ! ID5TITY ( ?OSE :O >E TALK+ AB\T !M4 ,NEV]!LESS1 AS ID5TITY IS NOT JU/ A QUE/ION ( P]SONAL DATA1 !SE WRITT5 L9ES WILL 9EVITABLY REVEAL TRACES LEAD+ TO ! AU?OR ( ! TEXT4 

,:5 WE DECID$ TO WRITE ?IS BOOK WE ?\<T ?AT W\LD BE ! MO/ G5U9E & DIRECT WAY TO PRES5T ! UNIQU5ESS ( ! EXP]I5CES IT W\LD CONTA91 RA!R ?AN A !ORETICAL OR HI/ORICAL DISCUSSION ON LIV+ 9 HID+ AS 9T5D$ BY REVOLUTION>Y MOVEM5TS4 ,ON ! CONTR>Y1 WE *OSE A =M ?AT EXPRESS$ ! MO/ P]SONAL ASPECTS ( ! CL&E/9E DIM5SION 9 COMPLETE FRE$OM3 ! SITUATIONS ?AT ! AU?ORS ( ! TEXTS HAD HAD TO FACE1 !IR REFLECTIONS & PROPOSALS1 !IR PRACTICAL & !ORETICAL CONSID]ATIONS4 

,) A GREAT EF=T ?AT (T5 TORE AT \R HE>TS & P5ETRAT$ \R 9N] BE+1 WE MANAG$ TO OBTA9 A S]IES ( DATA & EMOTIONS ?AT CAN (F] ! READ] A 'GUIDE'1 ALSO CONC]N+ 'TE*NICAL' SUGGE/IONS1 9 ! EV5TUALITY ?AT HE OR %E MI<T ONE DAY FACE CONDITIONS LIKE ! ONES DESCRIB$ 9 ! PAGES ?AT FOLL[4 

,SO IT IS A 'GUIDE'2 BUT IT IS ALSO A L5S ?R\< :I* TO LOOK ) MORE SYMPA!TIC COMPLICITY AT ! NAMELESS EXPLOIT$1 B&ITS1 REFUGEES1 & ALL AGITATORS :O RUN TO GR\ND & :O /ILL PURSUE1 9 ! L9KS ( ! *A9 ?AT GRASP ! PLANET1 DESIRE & ! REALITY ( A FREE LIFE4 

,LET'S TALK AB\T IT 

,IT IS T]RIBLE :5 A MAN HAS TO GIVE UP HIS ID5TITY4 ,LIV+ ) A 
GOOD GIRL1 DECEIV+ H] DAY AFT] DAY & CONCEAL+ A P>T ( ONE'S 
LIFE & P]SONALITY4 ,SOMETIMES Y\ FEEL A /RONG NE$ TO OP5 UP & 
SE>* = MORAL COMPLICITY1 BUT Y\ CAN'T DO ?AT \T ( PRECAUTION 
OR = FE> ( NOT BE+ UND]/OOD444 Y\ FEEL EMPTY & DON'T DESIRE 
ANY?+ 9 P>TICUL>4 

,HOR/ ,FANTAZZ9I 

,IT IS NOT EASY TO TALK AB\T C]TA9 QUE/IONS4 ,MOREOV]1 ! MO/ DIFFICULT ?+ IS TO />T1 ESPECIALLY1 AS F> AS ,I AM CONC]N$1 AS ,I'M NOT :AT Y\'D CALL A '/ORY TELL]'1 BUT RA!R ! OPPOSITE4 

,I HAD ALREADY ?\<T ( WRIT+ SOME?+ AB\T LIV+ 9 HID+1 NOT SO MU* AB\T MY P]SONAL EXP]I5CE 7,I DON'T LIKE SELF-CELEBRATION71 AS AB\T ! WAY WE SEE CL&E/9ITY 9 \R 'MILIEU'4 

,LET'S =GET ANY DIGRESSIONS AS TO ! MEAN+ ( ! WORD4 ,UP UNTIL ,I EXP]I5C$ ?IS SITUATION1 BO? NEGATIVE & POSITIVE AT ! SAME TIME1 ,I ?\<T IT WAS SOME?+ ?AT DIDN'T CONC]N ME4 ,!N1 \T ( ! BLUE1 ,I F\ND ,I HAD PLUNG$ 9TO IT4 ,?AT IS EXACTLY H[ IT HAPP5S4 ,MAYBE Y\ IMAG9E IT DIFF]5TLY1 BUT IT'S JU/ LIKE ?AT1 FROM ONE M9UTE TO ! NEXT Y\ F9D Y\RSELF ABSOLUTELY ALONE 7EV5 IF Y\ >E ) SOMEONE :5 Y\ FIR/ HE> ! NEWS74 ,!N1 IF Y\ DECIDE TO LIVE 9 HID+ \T ( *OICE1 ME?ODS ( /RUGGLE OR SIMPLY BAD LUCK1 Y\ SUDD5LY F9D Y\RSELF 9 A /RANGE SITUATION4 ,A LEA/ ?AT WAS MY IMPRESSION4 ,:5 ,I HE>D !RE WAS AN >RE/ W>RANT \T = ME1 ,I FELT COMPLETELY LO/4 ,P]HAPS IF WE ?\<T AB\T LIV+ 9 HID+ AS A CONSEQU5CE NOT SO MU* ( \R ACTIONS & WAY ( LIFE AS ( PURE REPRESSION AGA9/ ?OSE :O DECIDE TO LIVE \TSIDE ! RULES ( ! ,SY/EM_/,CAPITAL1 ?+S W\LD BE MU* CLE>]4 ,?OSE :O WANT TO RULE \R LIVES KN[ P]FECTLY WELL H[ H>D IT IS TO F9D Y\RSELF COMPLETELY ALONE ALL ( A SUDD51 H[ DIFFICULT 7& FRI<T5+7 IT IS TO SPEAK TO O!RS & ! FE> & P>ANOIA ?AT O!R PEOPLE EXP]I5CE :5 !Y M5TION Y\4 ,ALL ?IS %\LD NOT JU/ BE REG>D$ AS A REPRESSIVE MEASURE 7SU* AS PRISON1 H\SE >RE/1 BAIL1 ETC47 BUT AS A PRECISE ME?OD AIM$ AT CUTT+ (F RELATIONS BETWE5 9DIVIDUALS & SITUATIONS4 ,! DIFFICULTIES & FE> 9VOLV$ 9 ANY DISCUSSION ON ! SUBJECT 9 ! 5VIRONM5T :]E ! 9DIVIDUAL ON ! RUN US$ TO LIVE >E EXTREMELY DAMAG+ TO ! LATT]1 & EXTREMELY ADVANTAGE\S TO ! 5EMY1 :OEV] !Y >E4 ,:AT ,I ?9K WE %\LD DO :5 A COMRADE IS 9 ! %IT IS ,T,O ,T,A,L,K ,A,B,\,T ,I,T4 ,:5 SOMEONE 5DS UP 9 JAIL HE CAN RECEIVE MAIL & VISITS FROM LAWY]S & RELATIVES4 ,?IS C\LD ALSO BE ! CASE = ?OSE LIV+ 9 HID+ 7BE IT BY *OICE OR BY NECESSITY71 ) DUE PRECAUTION & ME?OD4 ,BUT PEOPLE F9D IT DIFFICULT TO TALK PUBLICLY & OP5LY AB\T ?AT4 ,:5 ,I HAD FRI5DS LIV+ 9 HID+ ,I WAS SC>$ TO TALK AB\T !M OR EV5 TO ORGANIZE SOLID>ITY 9ITIATIVES4 ,BUT N[ ?AT ,I HAVE EXP]I5C$ ?AT SITUATION MYSELF1 ,I ?9K ?AT IT'S ABSOLUTELY VITAL TO />T A DISCUSSION ON ! SUBJECT1 ESPECIALLY SO ?AT ?OSE LIV+ 9 HID+ CAN FEEL !Y >E AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE TO ! SITUATION !Y LIV$ 9 BE=E4 ,I CAN ASSURE Y\ ?AT IT'S NOT ALWAYS LIKE ?AT1 ESPECIALLY AT FIR/4 

,I DON'T HAVE ! SOLUTION TO ?IS PROBLEM1 BUT ,I ?9K ?AT PROP] DISCUSSION & ANALYSIS 7BETWE5 ?OSE :O HAVE EXP]I5C$ CL&E/9ITY & ALL ?OSE :O FEEL LIKE DISCUSS+ ?IS REPRESSIVE MEASURE7 C\LD BE V]Y USEFUL4 

,I ?9K1 AS ,I'VE ALREADY SAID1 ?AT ! ,SY/EM F9DS IT EASI] TO FILE AN >RE/ W>RANT & =CE ?OSE :O DON'T WANT TO ROT 9 JAIL TO LIVE 9 HID+1 RA!R ?AN C>RY \T >RE/S & !N PUT UP ) SOLID>ITY ACTIONS1 DEMON/RATIONS1 9ITIATIVES1 A LOT ( NOISE1 ETC4 

,( C\RSE ! REPRESSORS ONLY ALL[ ?IS TO HAPP5 ON C]TA9 OCCASIONS1 ACCORD+ TO ! MOM5T1 BUT ,I DON'T ?9K ?IS HYPO!SIS IS UNF\ND$4 

,I BELIEVE ?IS IS A V]Y IMPORTANT QUE/ION BECAUSE ! ,SY/EM ONLY DECIDES TO ACT IMM$IATELY :5 IT IS PRESS$ BY ! M$IA & PUBLIC OP9ION1 & IT (T5 RISKS GIV+ %IT P]=MANCES1 AS WE HAVE SE54 ,MOREOV]1 GIV5 ?AT ! JUDICIAL SY/EM IS MAK+ GIGANTIC /RIDES DAILY ) ! 9T5T ( REA*+ ,T,O,T,A,L ,C,O,N,T,R,O,L1 & ?AT ITS DISGU/+ S]VANTS ! ,T,V & ! PRESS SPREAD :ATEV] NEWS !Y >E TOLD TO1 ! ,SY/EM HAS PL5TY ( TIME TO CONTROL !SE SITUATIONS AS IT LIKES4 ,?IS IS ALSO POSSIBLE ?ANKS TO ! SPREAD ( SUBMISSION & CON=MITY 9 G5]AL 7EV5 IF1 9 V>I\S CONTEXTS1 !RE >E FA9T SIGNS ( A REAWAK5+ H]E & !RE74 

,IF !SE ASPECTS >E TAK5 9TO ACC\NT1 PEOPLE LIV+ 9 CL&E/9ITY MI<T DECIDE TO PUT AN 5D TO IT &1 = 9/ANCE1 GIVE !MSELVES UP BECAUSE !Y ?9K ?IS MI<T BE BETT] ?AN /AY+ UND]GR\ND4 ,I DON'T CONSID] ?IS *OICE TO BE A C[>DLY ONE1 AS SOME COMRADES DO4 

,:5 Y\ >E LIV+ 9 HID+ Y\R P]CEPTION ( ! SITUATIONS Y\ LIV$ 9 BE=E *ANGES1 AS Y\ >E LOOK+ AT IT FROM ! '\TSIDE'4 ,Y\ PROBABLY MANAGE TO BE A BIT MORE RATIONAL4 

,BUT IT IS EXACTLY ?IS 'LIV+ \TSIDE' ?AT MAKES Y\ FEEL ALONE & SOMETIMES UNABLE TO FACE ! P>ANOIA ?AT GOES ) A CL&E/9E SITUATION4 

,! IMPORTANCE ( !SE FEW L9ES DOESN'T LIE 9 ! FACT ?AT !Y FILL UP A PAMPHLET BUT BECAUSE !Y REM9D US ( ! MANY PEOPLE & COMRADES :O1 AS WE >E DO+ \R %OPP+1 5JOY+ A GIG OR LIFE 9 G5]AL1 >E COMPELL$ TO /AY AWAY FROM ! PEOPLE & PLACES !Y LOVE4 

,BE+ AW>E ( ! PROBLEM DOESN'T MEAN ?AT WE SOLVE IT1 BUT IT'S A GOOD /EP T[>DS MAK+ SURE ?AT PEOPLE 9 HID+1 & ALL ?OSE :O MI<T BECOME SU*1 NOT ONLY LIVE ?IS CONDITION BETT] BUT >E ALSO ABLE TO KEEP ON /RUGGL+ ALONGSIDE !IR COMRADES4 

,KEEP+ ONESELF \T ! WAY 

,I'VE NEV] HAD ANY /RONG FEEL+S ( BELONG+ TO ONE SPECIFIC C\NTRY1 ) ITS TRADITIONS & CULTURE4 ,I'VE NEV] FELT ANY ROOTS GR[ 9SIDE ME TO SU* AN EXT5T ?AT ?AT C\LD KEEP ME 9 ONE PLACE4 ,I ?9K ?AT ?IS HELP$ :5 ,I DECID$ 'TO GO TO E>?' & HIDE FROM BUREAUCRACY & ! LAW4 

,! FIR/ TIME MY H\SE WAS SE>*$ A COP ASK$ ME IF ,I HAD BE5 EXPECT+ IT4 ,MY ANSW] WAS YES4 ,I WAS AN AN>*I/ & KN[N TO !M AS SU*1 SO ,I WASN'T SURPRIS$4 ,NOR WAS ,I SURPRIS$ :5 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT IT W\LD BE BETT] 'TO HAVE A *ANGE'4 ,*OICES LIKE ?AT >E A QUE/ION ( RESPONSIBILITY4 ,:5 Y\ >E FI<T+ AN 5EMY Y\ WILL ALSO C]TA9LY WANT TO ESCAPE FROM IT & ITS REPRESSIVE GRIP1 EV5 IF Y\ HAVE TO PAY QUITE A HI< PRICE & KEEP AWAY FROM ! PLACES & PEOPLE Y\ LOVE4 ,?IS WAS SOME?+ ?AT ,I HAD TAK5 9TO ACC\NT1 SOME?+ ,I KNEW MI<T HAPP5 TO ME4 ,SO ,I WASN'T SURPRIS$ :5 IT BECAME REAL & URG5T4 ,BUT ,I WAS PRETTY CONFUS$1 BO? BECAUSE REALITY IS ALWAYS DIFF]5T TO :AT Y\ IMAG9E & BECAUSE ,I F\ND MYSELF 9 A SITUATION ,I HAD NEV] EXPECT$3 BECOM+ CL&E/9E1 NOT ON MY [N OR ) MY P>TN]1 BUT ) MY *ILD4 ,9 FACT1 HE WAS BORN A FEW MON?S BE=E1 & ,I WAS /ILL UND] 'NEW-MO!R %OCK' :5 ,I UND]/OOD IT WAS NOT ! CASE TO HAVE MY LIFE RU9$ BY ! BULLIES ( ! LAW4 ,!RE WAS NO >RE/ W>RANT \T = ME AT ! TIME1 BUT !Y />T$ H>ASS+ ME AFT] >RE/+ A COMRADE :O WAS V]Y CLOSE TO ME1 & CLAIM$ !Y HAD ID5TIFI$ A ',ROMAN GANG'4 ,I DIDN'T 9T5D TO BE UND] PRESSURE EV]Y DAY & SO ,I *OSE TO GO TO E>?4 ,! DAY AFT] MY DEP>TURE ,I LE>N$ ?AT MY H\SE HAD BE5 SE>*$ & ?AT MY P>TN] HAD BE5 H>ASS$1 :I* !Y KEPT ON DO+ AFT]W>DS1 ALSO TO MY FRI5DS & RELATIVES4 ,I REALIZ$ ,I HAD MADE ! RI<T *OICE4 

,AT FIR/ IT WAS V]Y DIFFICULT4 ,EV5 IF1 AS ,I SAID1 ,I HAD PICTUR$ ?AT MOM5T SO MAY TIMES1 ,I WAS NOT READY EI!R AT A PRACTICAL OR PSY*OLOGICAL LEVEL4 ,= EXAMPLE1 ,I HAD NO:]E TO GO & IT WASN'T EASY TO F9D A SUITABLE PLACE4 ,MY COMRADES W]E ALL WELL KN[N TO ! COPS & ?AT P]IOD WAS NOT AT ALL CALM OR FAVORABLE4 ,I ?9K ?AT MANY PEOPLE W]E REALLY WORRI$ & SOLID>ITY1 PRACTICAL & EFFECTIVE SOLID>ITY1 WAS NOT EASY TO PRACTICE & !RE=E TO F9D4 ,I WAS REALLY SORRY AB\T ?AT1 & ,I AM /ILL ABSOLUTELY CONV9C$ ?AT ?IS IS SOME?+ ?AT COMRADES %\LD DISCUSS C>EFULLY 9 ! FUTURE4 ,I MEAN WE %\LD TRY TO CREATE ! M9IMAL CONDITIONS SO ?AT COMRADES >E NOT LEFT ALONE ) !IR PROBLEMS & EXCLUD$ FROM ALL !IR RELATION%IPS4 

,COM+ BACK TO MY TIME 9 HID+1 ,I FELT ! NE$ TO TAKE ALL ! ?+S ?AT MADE ME FEEL 'AT HOME' ) ME :]EV] WE W5T3 C]TA9 BOOKS1 TAPES & OBJECTS 7MAYBE ,I'M A BIT FETI%I/7 ?AT KEPT ME 9 T\* ) MY PREVI\S LIFE4 ,9 G5]AL1 WE SUCCE$$ 9 NOT BE+ NOTIC$ :]EV] WE W5T3 ,I 9TRODUC$ MYSELF TO O!RS AS A MOM TAK+ H] BABY ON HOLIDAY TO HEAL?Y RESORTS4 ,IT WAS SUMM] & C]TA9 PLACES W\LD BE HEAL?Y = ANYONE6 ,I PLAY$ MY P>T V]Y WELL2 ,I WAS V]Y C>EFUL AB\T :AT ,I TOLD ANYONE AB\T US & TRI$ TO BE COH]5T 9 MY ROLE4 ,I ALSO MADE MY ATT5TION MORE ACUTE BY FOCUS+ IT ON EV5 ! MO/ 9SIGNIFICANT DETAILS4 ,IT MU/ BE BORNE 9 M9D ?AT PEOPLE 7NOT TO M5TION L&LORDS7 >E V]Y CURI\S AB\T A NEW MEMB] ( !IR COMMUNITY1 & ?AT Y\ CANNOT ALWAYS ANSW] ! QUE/IONS 7TOO MANY QUE/IONS7 !Y ASK EVASIVELY1 O!RWISE Y\ W\LD SEEM /RANGE4 ,Y\ HAVE TO BE C>EFUL BECAUSE 9 A 'NORMAL' SITUATION QUE/IONS LIKE ':]E DO Y\ LIVE'1 ':AT DO Y\ /UDY' & ':AT'S Y\R JOB' OR EV5 AN 9VITATION TO D9N] ?AT Y\ W\LD RA!R REFUSE1 C\LD BE ANNOY+2 & AN UNFRI5DLY & UNSOCIABLE ANSW] C\LD CAUSE TR\BLE4 ,:5 Y\ >E 9 HID+ IT MI<T BE DANG]\S EI!R TO MAKE RELATION%IPS OR TO BE TOO RES]V$4 ,IT IS QUITE A DELICATE SITUATION4 ,AS ,I SAID1 ,I TRI$ TO TELL PEOPLE ! SAME /ORY AB\T MYSELF BUT ,I ALSO TRI$ NOT TO GIVE A PICTURE ?AT WAS TOO DIFF]5T FROM :AT ,I ACTUALLY WAS4 ,I MEAN ?AT 9 ! LONG RUN 7,I'VE BE5 9 HID+ = #f YE>S7 IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE COMPLETELY DIFF]5T TO :AT Y\ >E4 ,IT WAS OKAY1 = EXAMPLE1 TO BE A MO!R TAK+ C>E ( H] *ILD1 BUT ,I C\LDN'T GIVE A PICTURE ( MYSELF AS IF ?AT WAS MY ONLY ASPIRATION3 JU/ TO BE A MO!R6 ,MY OP9IONS1 CONSID]ATIONS & WAY ( BE+ C\LDN'T BE COMPLETELY REPRESS$ EV5 IF !Y EM]G$ 9 A S(T] & LESS OBVI\S WAY4 ,AT ! BEG9N+ ?IS WAS ONE ( ! MO/ DIFFICULT ASPECTS TO COPE ) AS ,I WAS A NEW MO!R1 A SITUATION ?AT 9 ITSELF PRES5TS A LOT ( CONTRADICTIONS ?AT >E NOT EASY TO SORT \T4 ,SOMETIMES FE> & ANXIETY W]E TOO /RONG1 & ,I ?\<T ?AT ,I W\LDN'T MANAGE TO KEEP ON GO+ = LONG4 ,I (T5 HAD TO SUDD5LY RUN AWAY FROM ! PLACE :]E ,I WAS /AY+ BECAUSE ( ! DIRTY JOB ( ! M$IA 7ONE ( ! ,T,V PROGRAMS ?AT MADE ME ANXI\S & ANGRY WAS ',*I L'HA VI/O' .<',:O'S ,SE5 ,H]'1 POPUL> ,T,V PROGRAM CALL+ = PUBLIC P>TICIPATION 9 ! SI<T+ ( MISS+ P]SONS.> OR BECAUSE MY *ILD'S FA!R WAS BE+ FOLL[$ 7:O 9 ! MEANTIME WAS LIV+ HIS NORMAL LIFE & MEET+ UP ) ME OCCASIONALLY74 ,MY MOVES1 !RE=E1 (T5 OCCURR$ \T ( ! BLUE1 )\T ME PLANN+ !M4 ,I (T5 TRU/$ MY SIX? S5SE 7:I* ,I /ILL DO71 :I* IS NOT 5\< IF IT IS NOT ACCOMPANI$ ) ! GREATE/ ATT5TION4 ,:5 ,I FELT IT WAS TIME TO HAVE A *ANGE1 ,I PREP>$ MY /UFF 9 A GREAT HURRY & MOV$ TO TEMPOR>Y ACCOMMODATION UNTIL ,I F\ND A MORE DURABLE & RELIABLE SITUATION4 

,9 ! LONG RUN ,I REALIZ$ ?AT MY FIR/ *OICE1 I4E4 A P]IOD 9 HID+ :ILE UND]/&+ :AT ! JUDICI>Y WANT$1 W\LD TURN \T TO BE ! ONLY ONE4 ,! GAME3 'LET'S SEE IF ,I CAN FOOL !M' W\LD GO ON4 ,MY RELATION%IP ) MY *ILD'S FA!R DET]IORAT$1 PU%+ US FUR!R & FUR!R AP>T4 ,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP A LOVE AFFAIR ALIVE IF ! P>TIES 9VOLV$ DON'T BO? MAKE ! *OICE TO LIVE 9 HID+4 ,! TWO LIVES 9EVITABLY BECOME DIFF]5T & MOM5TS TOGE!R >E BURD5$ ) T5SION BECAUSE ( ! RISKS Y\ >E RUNN+4 ,SO WE DECID$ TO SPLIT UP & ,I DECID$ TO MAKE ! BIG /EP3 MY *ILD & ,I W\LD GO F> AWAY4 

,AT ?IS PO9T ,I HAD TO CONSID] :I* PLACE W\LD BE MO/ SUITABLE4 ,FIR/ ( ALL ,I TOOK 9TO ACC\NT ! POSSIBILITY ( BE+ ABLE TO WALK 9 ! /REETS )\T RUNN+ ! RISK ( BE+ IMM$IATELY RECOGNIZ$ AS A =EIGN] & !RE=E ( BE+ /OPP$ BY ! POLICE4 ,I NE$$ A COSMOPOLITAN T[N :]E ,I C\LD BE ANONYM\S AS MU* AS POSSIBLE4 ,I ALSO HAD TO AVOID CONTACT ) COMRADES SO ?AT ,I W\LDN'T BE RECOGNIZ$4 ,FUR!RMORE1 HAV+ A BABY W\LD MAKE ?+S MU* MORE DIFFICULT3 SOON] OR LAT]1 BE IT [+ TO HEAL? PROBLEMS1 S*OOL OR ! NE$ TO GU>ANTEE HIM NORMAL SOCIAL RELATIONS1 ,I W\LD RISK F9D+ MYSELF 9 ! *A9S ( BUREAUCRACY4 ,I !RE=E NE$$ A PLACE :]E /RUCTURES = NON-(FICIAL RESID5TS1 ! SO-CALL$ IRREGUL>S )\T /AY P]MITS C\LD BE F\ND4 ,A PLACE :]E ! M9IMUM SOCIAL NE$S ( A =EIGN] C\LD BE GU>ANTE$ & ,I C\LD WALK >\ND )\T RUNN+ ! RISK ( BE+ >BITR>ILY /OPP$ BY ! POLICE 7I4E4 = NO VALID REASON74 ,A PLACE :]E ,I C\LD GO \T )\T NECESS>ILY TAK+ AN ID5TITY C>D ) ME & :]E IT WAS POSSIBLE TO F9D A WAY TO SURVIVE4 ,I *OSE ! PLACE & ASK$ SOME FRI5DS ( FRI5DS TO PUT ME UP = A :ILE1 UNTIL ,I ACQUIR$ KN[L$GE ( ! 5VIRONM5T & ! CAPACITY TO LIVE ON MY [N4 ,SO ,I DECID$ TO V5TURE1 & CROSS$ ! BORD] )\T MY *ILD :O WAS EV5TUALLY BR\<T TO ME4 ,! SEP>ATION WAS T]RIBLE1 & SO WAS ! FE> ( NOT MAK+ IT4 ,I CROSS$ ! BORD] ) A RUCKSACK ON MY BACK & SN[ UP TO MY CALVES4 ,I REMEMB] BE+ V]Y EXCIT$ AT ?AT MOM5T1 F9D+ /R5G? & A CONFID5CE ?AT ,I HAD R>ELY EXP]I5C$ BE=E4 ,F9ALLY ,I MADE IT1 ,I WAS HAV+ A CAPPUCC9O 9 A =EIGN C\NTRY AFT] CROSS+ ?AT CURS$ BORD]4 ,I ONLY HOP$ ?AT MY *ILD W\LD JO9 ME SOON & )\T DIFFICULTY4 ,I /OPP$ = TWO DAYS AT A V]Y DE> COMRADE'S PLACE & !N ,I LEFT BY TRA9 = MY F9AL DE/9ATION4 ,I >RIV$ ON A SPL5DID MORN+ 9 ,MAY1 W>M & COM=TABLE EV5 ?\< ,I WAS 9 ! NOR?4 ,?IS SEEM$ TO ME TO BE A GOOD OM52 & :5 MY *ILD JO9$ ME A WEEK LAT]1 ,I FELT SAF] & MORE DET]M9$ BECAUSE ,I WAS ALSO \T ( ,ITALY4 ,9 SPITE ( ?IS1 ,I SOON REALIZ$ ?AT ! SITUATION C\LD BECOME DANG]\SLY RELAX$1 :I* ,I ABSOLUTELY HAD TO AVOID4 

,SO WE />T$ AGA9444 ,I DIDN'T KN[ H[ LONG IT W\LD LA/ BUT ,I DID MY BE/ TO MAKE \R FRE$OM LA/ AS LONG AS POSSIBLE4 ,I ?9K ?AT 9 CASES LIKE ?IS Y\ MU/N'T /AY 9 ! SAME PLACE = A LONG TIME EV5 IF EV]Y?+ SEEMS TO BE GO+ WELL4 ,Y\ CANNOT AVOID LEAV+ TRACES IF Y\ /AY 9 ONE PLACE 7AT LEA/ 9 ,EUROPE7 = TOO LONG4 ,Y\ HAVE TO MOVE FREQU5TLY1 :I* ,I *OSE NOT TO DO4 ,?IS WASN'T DUE TO RESIGNATION4 ,AS ,I SAID BE=E1 *OICES IMPLY TAK+ ONE'S RESPONSIBILITIES & ,I HAD ALSO *OS5 TO HAVE A *ILD4 ,I DIDN'T WANT TO 9VOLVE HIM 9 SUDD5 TRANS=MATIONS & *ANGES ?AT ONLY CONC]N$ ME4 ,I ALSO EXP]I5C$ P]IODS ( ACUTE LONEL9ESS4 ,I WAS AFRAID ( LOVE AFFAIRS1 AS ,I DIDN'T TRU/ ANYONE & ,I C\LDN'T F9D COMRADES TO %>E REBEL *OICES )4 ,BUT ,I WASN'T NO/ALGIC BECAUSE ,I HAD MANAG$ TO OV]COME ANY NO/ALGIA = PEOPLE & PLACES4 ,I CONV9C$ MYSELF ?AT EV]Y?+ W\LD COME BACK TO ME & ?AT ,I WAS LIV+ A BREAK ( AN UNLIMIT$ DURATION4 ,?IS BREAK1 H[EV]1 WAS WOR? LIV+ 9T5SELY4 ,9 FACT TODAY ,I MISS ! PEOPLE1 ! PLACES & ! MOM5TS ,I EXP]I5C$ DUR+ ?IS LONG & V]Y EMOTIONAL J\RNEY4 ,I CAN'T HELP SAY+1 NOT ?AT IT WAS ! BE/ TIME ( MY LIFE 7ESPECIALLY AS MY LIFE HASN'T F9I%$ YET671 BUT ?AT IT WAS C]TA9LY ! P]IOD 9 :I* ,I UND]/OOD BE/ :O ,I WAS & H[ ,I FACE LIFE4 ,I ALSO UND]/OOD ?AT LIV+ BEYOND ! RULES & NORMALITY1 ) NO NAME1 SURNAME1 ADDRESS1 & A FALSE NUMB] ON ONE'S ,I,D C>D /IMULATES CREATIVITY1 IMAG9ATION1 & DIGNITY1 & MAKES Y\ TAKE BACK :AT'S Y\RS4 ,TIME IS Y\RS1 *OOS+ & OV]COM+ DIFFICULTIES IS Y\RS1 ! DECISION TO PLAY ! CAT OR ! M\SE IS Y\RS1 ! MOM5T :5 Y\ DECIDE TO SAY ',/OP6' IS Y\RS4 

,& ALL ?IS IS ALSO = Y\444 :]EV] Y\ >E4 

,FROM SETBACK TO A PROSPECT ( LIFE 

,I BEGAN LIV+ 9 CL&E/9ITY 9 #aih & IT WAS A NECESSITY RA!R ?AN A FREE *OICE4 ,AT ! TIME IT WAS QUITE DIFFICULT AS POLICE 9=M]S W]E SPR++ UP LIKE MU%ROOMS 9 AUTUMN4 ,IT WAS ?ANKS TO A C\PLE ( !SE VILE DISGU/+ PEOPLE ?AT ,I HAD TO LEAVE 7NOT )\T PROBLEMS7 ! H\SE ( MY P>5TS 9 ! SUBURBS ( ! T[N :]E ,I WAS BORN4 ,IT WAS NOT AT ALL ! RI<T MOM5T1 ,I HAD NO:]E TO GO & FE> & DIFFID5CE REIGN$ BETWE5 FRI5DS & COMRADES4 ,MANY HAD ALREADY RECEIV$ A VISIT ( ! POLICE & ,C>AB9I]I1 MANY O!RS HAD ALREADY 5D$ UP 9 JAIL & ?OSE :O W]E CLEAN JU/ FE>$ = !IR [N SAFETY444 & !Y W]E RI<T4 ,IF Y\ TOOK SOMEONE ON ! RUN 9TO Y\R H\SE Y\ RISK$ BE+ *>G$ ) '>M$ GANG' & S5T5C$ TO MANY YE>S 9 PRISON4 ,I REMEMB] KNOCK+ ON MANY COMRADES' DOORS & !IR A/ONI%M5T & DESP]ATION3 ',WE CAN'T HELP Y\'4 ,! WOR/ MOM5T IS :5 Y\ F9D Y\ DON'T HAVE ANY:]E TO GO AT NI<T4 ,( C\RSE Y\ CAN'T GO TO A HOTEL LIKE A NORMAL P]SON4 ,AT FIR/ ,I SP5T MY DAYS & NI<TS ON TRA9S3 ,I TOOK ! #a#g4#c ,MILAN--,REGGIO ,CALABRIA1 REA*$ MY DE/9ATION #bb H\RS LAT]1 GOT (F & EV5TUALLY TOOK ANO!R TRA9 TO ,MILAN4 ,I DID ?AT = DAYS ON 5D1 IT WAS H>D BUT AT LEA/ ,I HAD A B$ & A RO( OV] MY HEAD1 ALWAYS MOV+4 ,IT WASN'T A SOLUTION1 H[EV]1 IT WAS JU/ SOME?+ TEMPOR>Y 7& DANG]\S1 AS POLICE (T5 *ECK DOCUM5TS 9 /ATIONS7 :ILE WAIT+ TO F9D SOME?+ BETT]4 ,AFT] ALL ,I WAS NOT PREP>$ = BE+ ON ! RUN4 

,I HAD JU/ GOT \T ( ,SAN ,VITTORE PRISON :]E ,I HAD BE5 HELD ONLY SIX MON?S & RELEAS$ DUE TO A LEGAL TIME EXPIRY4 ,I SECUR$ A SIMPLE JOB AS A REPRES5TATIVE = ME*ANICAL TOOLS4 ,I DIDN'T E>N MU* & ,I US$ TO GIVE ALL MY SAL>Y TO MY P>5TS4 ,SO ,I C\LDN'T SAVE 5\< MONEY TO SECURE A CALM P]IOD 9 CL&E/9ITY1 :I* W\LD HAVE BE5 ! BE/ ?+ TO DO AT ! TIME4 ,IT WASN'T EASY TO F9D SOMEONE TO R5T Y\ A FLAT OR TO F9D MONEY TO LIVE ON4 ,! MO/ DIFFICULT ?+ WAS NOT SO MU* F9D+ A SUITABLE L&LORD1 BUT ! MONEY TO LIVE AS A WANT$ P]SON1 :I* CO/S A LOT1 BELIEVE ME6 ,A SIMPLE SAL>Y DOESN'T ALL[ Y\ TO SAVE 5\< TO GO TO E>? 9 A RELAX$ WAY :5 ! TIME COMES4 ,ONE SOLUTION WAS TO ROB BANKS1 BUT :5 ,I LEFT HOME ,I HAD NO WEAPONS1 NO DOCUM5TS & V]Y LITTLE MONEY 9 MY POCKET4 ,Y\ CAN'T /AY FREE = LONG UND] SU* CONDITIONS4 ,I C\LD JU/ C\NT ON A FEW >M$ ORGANIZATIONS ?AT ,I KNEW4 ,I WAS LUCKY1 IF ,I CAN SAY ?AT4 ,I KNEW A FEW COMRADES :O W\LD HELP ME1 BUT UND] CONDITIONS ?AT ,I C\LDN'T ACCEPT1 LIKE JO9+ !IR ORGANIZATION AS A MILITANT S]V+ IT4 ,SO1 AFT] A %ORT BREAK TO REFLECT1 ,I KEPT ON LOOK+ DESP]ATELY = ANO!R SOLUTION4 ,I DIDN'T WANT TO JO9 ANY ORGANIZATION AS ! ONE ,I HAD BELONG$ TO & CREAT$ ALONG ) O!R COMRADES1 ! ,P4,A4,C4 7,>M$ ,PROLET>IANS = ,COMMUNISM71 HAD BE5 DISMANTL$ FOLL[+ >RE/S & ! 9DIVIDUATION ( MO/ MEMB]S4 ,I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE JO9+ ANO!R ONE4 ,?IS SITUATION ( 9/ABILITY LA/$ #f MON?S4 ,I (T5 F\ND ACCOMMODATION 9 COMRADES' H\SES BUT IT ONLY LA/$ TWO OR ?REE DAYS4 ,AS A DE> COMRADE ( M9E US$ TO SAY3 'GUE/S BEG9 TO /9K AFT] ?REE DAYS'4 ,SO ,I W5T >\ND1 MORE & MORE DESP]ATELY LOOK+ = A HOLE TO LIVE 9 & HELP$ BY OLD COMRADES AS REG>DS MONEY4 ,F9ALLY1 :5 ,I LEA/ EXPECT$ IT1 ,I F\ND ! WAY NOT TO HAVE TO DEP5D ON O!RS4 ,?IS IS ! ESS5TIAL PO9T3 NOT TO DEP5D ON ANY?+ ?AT IS NOT Y\R [N WILL4 ,Y\ HAVE TO PREP>E TO BE CL&E/9E BE=E WAG+ W> ON ! ,SY/EM444 ,I DON'T ?9K ,I'M EXAGG]AT+4 

,:AT ,I HAVE DESCRIB$ TILL N[ IS OBVI\SLY A P>TICUL> SITUATION3 ! CONDITION ( CL&E/9ITY AS A SETBACK ?AT ,I HAD TO FACE 9 A TRAUMATIC & SUDD5 WAY4 

,BUT ! PROBLEM IS WID] IF IT IS SE5 9 ALL ITS ASPECTS3 TO BE COMPELL$ TO BE CL&E/9E1 TO RUN (F1 TO REFUSE TO JO9 GIV5 ORGANIZATIONS :OSE IDEOLOGY ISN'T Y\R [N1 TO LOOK = 9DEP5D5CE AS A WAY ( KEEP+ ON ! /RUGGLE Y\ BELIEVE 91 TO HAVE MONEY1 TO F9D ! MEANS TO A*IEVE ALL ?AT4 

,AT FIR/ ,I F\ND LIV+ 9 HID+ QUITE H>D & PO9TLESS AS ,I WAS 9 A SITUATION ( TOTAL UNC]TA9TY4 ,BUT 9 ! LONG RUN ,I F\ND ! RI<T BALANCE1 I4E4 A SMALL GR\P ( COMRADES :O HAD ! CAPACITY TO C>RY \T BIG OP]ATIONS & LAUN* /RONG ATTACKS AGA9/ ! ECONOMIC & POLITICAL SY/EM ) A LEVEL ( P]FECTION ?AT RESEMBL$ ?AT ( ! BIG ORGANIZATIONS4 ,9 ! ,EI<TIES 7& TODAY7 GOOD RESULTS C\LD BE REA*$ BY SMALL GR\PS ( #c-#d COMRADES :O W]E PREP>$ AT A MILIT>Y LEVEL & HAD GA!R$ ESS5TIAL 9=MATION4 ,ANY PROJECT ( ATTACK W\LD BE IMPOSSIBLE O!RWISE4 

,:5 Y\ LIVE 9 CL&E/9ITY1 BE IT \T ( *OICE OR NECESSITY1 Y\ >E WAG+ W> ON ! ,/ATE4 ,IF Y\ SIMPLY WALK 9 ! /REET ) A BA%$ UP ID5TITY C>D1 Y\ HAVE TO MAKE A SUDD5 *OICE IF Y\ >E /OPP$3 TO RUN AWAY1 GIVE Y\RSELF UP OR REACT4 ,Y\ CAN IMAG9E ! CONSEQU5CES ( ! FIR/ TWO POSSIBILITIES1 AS = ! ?IRD1 ONLY Y\R ABILITY & EXP]I5CE CAN SAVE Y\4 

,IT IS NOT TRUE ?AT WANT$ PEOPLE >E ALONE1 :AT IS TRUE IS ?AT !Y FEEL AS IF !Y >E ALONE4 ,IT IS JU/ A TEMPOR>Y S5SATION1 :I* DISAPPE>S AS SOON AS Y\ HAVE A DOCUM5T 9 Y\R POCKET ?AT MAKES Y\ FEEL SAFE4 ,! WORLD BELONGS TO US4 ,! ADVANTAGE ( \R TIME IS ?AT Y\ CAN ALWAYS BE WELL 9=M$ AB\T ANY?+1 GIV5 ?AT MOV+ FROM ONE PLACE TO ANO!R IS ONLY A QUE/ION ( H\RS444 PROVID+ Y\ HAVE A GOOD DOCUM5T4 

,! PROBLEM IS TO KEEP RELATION%IPS GO+4 ,IT IS SURE ?AT IF Y\ HAVE A P>TN] !RE'S ONLY ONE *OICE3 EI!R Y\R P>TN] COMES ) Y\ OR Y\ MU/ SPLIT UP = GOOD4 

,IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE EA* O!R 9 SECRET FROM TIME TO TIME4 ,AP>T FROM ! WORK ( GRASSES & ! MI/AKES Y\ MI<T MAKE1 POLICE & ,C>AB9I]I MANAGE TO F9D Y\ BY SY/EMATICALLY FOLL[+ ?OSE CLOSE TO Y\ 79CLUD+ P>5TS & RELATIVES74 ,IF Y\ DECIDE TO PLAY CAT & M\SE ) !M ON ?IS ISSUE1 Y\ WILL C]TA9LY 5D UP 9 JAIL 9 A %ORT TIME4 ,IS LIV+ 9 HID+ USEFUL8 ,I ?9K IT IS4 ,9 !SE TIMES ( W>1 ! ,SY/EM WANTS TO IMPOSE GLOBALIZATION & ONE WAY ( ?9K+ ON EV]YONE4 ,REPRESSION IS GR[+ AS WELL AS ! MILIT>IZATION ( ! 5TIRE WORLD4 ,! ,U,S EMPIRE 9T5DS TO WAGE W> ON ALL ?OSE :O1 9 ONE WAY OR ANO!R1 OPPOSE ITS POLICY ( DOM9ION4 ,! MILIT>Y BUDGET GREW #g.0 9 SIX YE>S DUR+ ,CL9TON'S PRESID5CY4 ,! ,E,U IS FOLL[+ 9 ! SAME DIRECTION & HAS CREAT$ AN >MY SPECIALIZ$ 9 MILIT>Y OP]ATIONS 9 ORD] TO DEF5D ! 9T]E/S ( ! ,EUROPEAN MULT9ATIONALS1 9CLUD+ >MS DEAL]S ?AT WILL COMPEL C\NTRIES TO PUR*ASE A HUGE AM\NT ( >MS4 ,! ,UNIT$ ,/ATES >E ! MA9 AG5TS ( ?IS DYNAMIC1 AS !Y KN[ !Y WON'T O!RWISE BE ABLE TO FACE !IR S]I\S ECONOMIC PROBLEMS & NATIONAL DEBTS4 ,( C\RSE !Y >E NOT WILL+ TO PAY = !IR ECONOMIC CRISIS & >E PU%+ O!R C\NTRIES 9TO A P>ANOID UNION HELD TOGE!R BY ! FE> ?AT A BIG FRONT AGA9/ !IR WORLDWIDE HEGEMONY C\LD BE CREAT$ 9 ! ?IRD WORLD 7SEE ! PO/ ,SEPTEMB] #aa SITUATION74 ,LET'S BE> 9 M9D ?AT ! WE/]N C\NTRIES' MA9 GOAL IS TO CREATE AN UN/ABLE & EXPLOSIVE SITUATION 9 ORD] TO JU/IFY ,N,A,T,O MILIT>Y 9T]V5TIONS & DE/ROY ANY /RONG ,/ATE ?AT !Y CAN'T MANIPULATE4 ,9DIVIDUALS & PEOPLES :O DON'T SUBMIT TO ! ORD]S ( ! ,9T]NATIONAL ,MONET>Y ,FUND & ! ,C,I,A WILL 5D UP 9 TR\BLE4 ,IT IS OBVI\S ?AT ?IS /RATEGY = WORLD W> HAS ALREADY BEGUN3 ! ,U,S,A1 BACK$ BY ! ,N,A,T,O1 HAVE COME 9TO ACTION 9 V>I\S >EAS1 :I* IS FUNDAM5TAL 9 ?IS /RATEGY AS IT REPRES5TS ,WA%+TON'S MILIT>Y SUPREMACY OV] ITS ALLIES4 

,9 ?IS CONTEXT REPRESSION IS GETT+ /RONG] ) ! FULL APPROVAL ( BO? ! LEFT & RI<TW+ POLITICAL P>TIES 7:I* BO? W9 ELECTIONS71 ALSO ?ANKS TO M$IA CAMPAIGNS C>RI$ \T BY ! F\R M$IA AG5CIES ?AT CONTROL 9T]NATIONAL POLITICS4 ,! 9=MATION !Y SPREAD IS ALREADY A DECL>ATION ( W> & IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE NEUTRAL4 ,!IR 9=MATION IS A LIE1 & !Y PRES5T REPRESSIVE LAWS AS AN ABSOLUTE NECESSITY4 ,:5 ,I READ ! PRESS1 WAT* ,T,V OR LI/5 TO ! RADIO1 ,I CAN'T UND]/& ANY?+ ( :AT IS HAPP5+1 & ?IS IS V]Y DANG]\S4 ,! ,/ATE HAS ACQUIR$ NEW P5AL CODES & NEW REPRESSIVE MEANS ?AT MAT* ! REALITY ?AT ! SY/EM WANTS TO FI<T4 ,9 ,SPA91 = EXAMPLE1 ! NEW P5AL CODE DOESN'T CONSID] ! T]RORISM ( ! ,/ATE BUT ONLY ?AT :I* /RIKES ! ,/ATE 7BE IT BUILD+S OR PEOPLE74 ,AT ! SAME TIME AN IMPRESSIVE NUMB] ( >RE/S >E 9FLICT$ ON ?OSE :O DEMON/RATE1 EV5 PEACEFULLY1 & QUITE HEAVY S5T5CES >E MET$ \T444 = EXAMPLE #a YE>S IMPRISONM5T = BURN+ RUBBI% SKIPS 7LIKE ! LATE/ LAWS CONC]N+ TE5AG]S '(F5SES' APPROV$ 9 ! ,BASQUE C\NTRIES74 ,REPRESSION IS !RE=E FOCUS+ ON GR\PS & 9DIVIDUALS ?AT REPRES5T REBELLION AGA9/ ! ,SY/EM 9 G5]AL4 ,! MESSAGE ( ! P[]FUL IS CLE>3 PUT UP ) IT OR Y\'LL 5D UP 9 PRISON 7IF NOT DEAD7 9 ! WOR/ CONDITIONS ( ISOLATION4 

,GIV5 ?AT ! /RUGGLE 9 ! /REETS IS LOS+ ITS /R5G?1 WE WILL EV5TUALLY HAVE NO *OICE BUT TO LIVE 9 HID+ & ORGANIZE 9 SMALL AFF9ITY GR\PS4 

,F9ALLY1 ,I TELL Y\1 ,I ONLY EV] FELT REALLY FREE :5 ,I WAS 9 HID+4 

,TRAVEL NOTES 

,DISCUSS IDEAS1 ACTIONS & PROJECTS ( PEOPLE :O WANT TO BE FREE ALONG ) O!RS :O >E FREE1 9 TIME & SPACE1 9 ! 5DLESS /RUGGLE AGA9/ ! CANC] ( AU?ORITY4 ,AS IT IS 5DLESS1 IT *ANGES CONT9UALLY1 & FACES1 T5SIONS1 P]SPECTIVES & POSSIBILITIES ALSO *ANGE4 

,IT'S A :IRLW9D & Y\ >E AT ! C5T] ( ! CYCLONE1 ON Y\R H&S & FEET1 ?R[N T[>DS A GIANT LEAP1 & Y\ TRY TO W>D (F ! BL[S & HOLD ON TO AN (F5SIVE POSITION1 & Y\ IMPROVISE ALONG A PA? ?AT MANY ?9K IS NOT WOR? TAK+4 ,!Y ?9K IT CANNOT BE PROPOS$ BECAUSE TOO MANY HAVE ATTEMPT$ IT ALREADY444 & :]E >E ! RESULTS ( SO MANY EF=TS & ATTEMPTS8 

,MAYBE ?OSE :O REALLY TOOK UP ! *ALL5GE ( FRE$OM KN[ ! ANSW]1 9 ! ?READ ?AT L9KS ! /EPS ( ?OSE :O W]E1 >E OR WILL BE 5EMIES ( IMPOS$ RULES & COMM&S4 

,!Y HAVE :O KN[S :AT SECRET JOYS & VICTORIES4 ,OR MAYBE JU/ AN OB/9ATE DESIRE TO C>RY ON & KEEP ON GAMBL+ ONE'S SELF & ALL ! RE/4 ,A BOO/ TO 5GAG+ 9 ?IS /RUGGLE )\T RES]VE1 & SO TO F9D+ ! C\RAGE TO PROPOSE IT TO O!RS2 ?IS MEANS ?AT ! FRE$OM 9 ONE'S /EP & MOTIVATIONS HAS TO BE MOLD$ & LIV$ 9 FIR/ P]SON1 IT CANNOT BE PUT (F TO SOME GLORI\S FUTURE4 

,TODAY1 9 A WORLD ( SLAVES1 BANKS1 LAWS & *A9S1 MY FRE$OM EXI/S4 ,IT IS ON ! $GE ( EXP]I5CE4 

,NOBODY PU%ES HIMSELF SO HI< AS ! ONE :O IGNORES HIS GOAL4 

,CROMWELL 

,TRAVEL+ CAN MEAN MANY DIFF]5T ?+S DUR+ ONE'S LIFE4 

,!RE >E MONOTON\S J\RNIES1 5DLESSLY REPEAT$ ALONG ! TRACKS ( DAILY SURVIVAL1 TAK+ MILLIONS ( PEOPLE TO ! TEMPLES ( EXPLOITATION4 

,9 ! DAYTIME & AT NI<T1 ?R\< ! C\NTRYSIDE OR SUBURBS D>K5$ BY ! SMOKE ( ! FACTORIES & ! MIS]Y ( ALI5ATION2 ?\S&S ( H\RS & ?\S&S ( MILES ?AT *ANGE NO?+444 ! SAME DISGU/$ FACES1 DIRTY W9D[S1 RITUALS TO BE REPEAT$ UNTIL FLE% & S\L >E CONSUM$4 

,IT IS ! PACE ( EXPLOITATION1 IT IS A WORLD DOM9AT$ BY >TIFICIAL & DEADLY NE$S & AMBITIONS ?AT >E SWEEP+ AWAY EV]Y?+ NATURAL & BALANC$ ?AT ! HUMAN RACE HAS CONQU]$ = ITSELF ?R\< HUNDR$S ( YE>S ( H>D WORK & +5I\SNESS1 9 ITS CONFRONTATION ) ! ELEM5TS & O!R LIV+ BE+S ON ! PLANET1 & DUR+ HUNDR$S ( YE>S ( /RUGGLE AGA9/ ! 9EQUALITY ?AT O!R HUMAN BE+S HAVE IMPOS$ ON !IR FELL[S4 

,TODAY1 ALL OV] ! WORLD1 :AT GIVES A MEAN+ TO ONE'S EXI/5CE IS CONSUM]ISM3 CONSUME1 CONSUME & CONSUME AGA94 ,IT DOESN'T MATT] :E!R ! PRODUCT IS MAT]IAL OR 9TELLECTUAL1 & IT DOESN'T MATT] AB\T ! QUALITY1 :AT C\NTS IS ?AT \R PURSE CAN AF=D IT4 ,! MO/ IMPORTANT ?+ IS ?AT ! ECONOMIC MA*9]Y PRODUC+ & COMM]CIALIZ+ GOODS ?AT >E BASICALLY USELESS & H>MFUL1 BUT >E TEMPT+ 9 ! M>KET & CAN REPRES5T A GOAL TO BE A*IEV$1 KEEPS ON FUNCTION+4 

,OBJECTS1 FOOD1 EXP]I5CES1 KILOMET]S1 L&S & CULTURE >E TO BE CONSUM$ 9 ORD] TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL SATISFI$ ) ! WAY !Y SP5D !IR DAYS4 

,IT IS ! SAME 'SPIRIT' ?AT MAKES T\RISM FASC9AT+1 EV5 ?\< ! DI/ANCES TO BE COV]$ & PLACES TO BE REA*$ >E CUT \T 9 PRE-CONFECTION$ PACKETS & ! DURATION1 IF !RE >E NO UN=SE5 UNPLEASANT EV5TS1 IS KN[N 9 ADVANCE4 ,MOM5TS ( RECREATION FROM ! DAILY R\T9E ) :I* PEOPLE HOPE TO F9D1 AT LEA/ UNTIL !IR NEXT HOLIDAY1 JU/ 5\< BOO/ TO PREV5T !M PACK+ !IR SUITCASES ONCE & = ALL4 

,AFT] ALL1 ! T\RI/ 9DU/RY1 I4E4 ! TRANS=MATION ( J\RNEYS & ! PLANN+ ( T]RITORY1 RES\RCES & PRODUCTION 9TO COMM]CIAL GOODS = ?IS PURPOSE1 (F]S A CONSID]ABLE S]VICE TO ! MA9T5ANCE & REPRODUCTION ( ! CAPITALI/ DISA/]4 ,ON ! ONE H& IT CREATES & SPREADS ! M>KET TO PLACES ?AT C\LDN'T O!RWISE BE EXPLOIT$1 BE IT DUE TO !IR NATURAL FEATURES OR P>TICUL> DEMOGRAPHIC & HUMAN CONDITIONS2 ON ! O!R IT GU>ANTEES ?AT J\RNEYS BE PROTECT$ FROM ! RISK ( UNPR$ICTABILITY & POSSIBLY REALLY BE+ ABLE TO *ANGE ONE'S EXI/5CE4 

,& = S$5T>Y PEOPLE1 !RE IS ! OPTION ( COM=TABLE J\RNEYS ON ! S(A 9 ! EMOTION ( ,T,V OR SUB/ANCES1 LEGAL OR ILLEGAL1 IT MAKES NO DIFF]5CE1 TO DEEP5 ONE'S DISSATISFACTION4 

,& Y\ GA9 /R5G? 

ONCE AGA9 

N[ ?AT A NEW DAY IS AB\T TO />T 

& :O KN[S :AT ROADS Y\ WILL COV]1 

:AT FACES1 EMBRACES & NEW ESCAP+ ADV5TURES 

WILL COME TO Y\ ONE AFT] ANO!R4 

,Y\ >E AT ! C5T] ( ! /ORM 

& ?IS MAKES EA* DAY & NI<T 

! GREATE/ EMOTION Y\ CAN FOLL[4 

,MIDNI<T1 #a#i?-#b? ,FEBRU>Y 

,BUT !RE >E J\RNEYS ?AT %OCK \R HABITS & C]TA9TIES4 ,NOT ONLY \RS1 BUT ALSO ?OSE ( ! :OLE CULTURE ?AT HAS 9EVITABLY CONDITION$ \R WAY ( 9T5D+ LIFE1 FROM ! DAY WE W]E BORN TO ! DAY WE SET (F4 

,I WANT TO TALK AB\T ?IS K9D ( J\RNEY4 

,!SE >E J\RNEYS ) NO RETURN1 AS O!RS TOLD ME1 BECAUSE TO RETRACE ONE'S /EPS OR COME BACK TO ! PO9T :]E ONE />T$ (F IS SIMPLY ANO!R ADV5TURE1 ANO!R J\RNEY4 

,DAY AFT] DAY1 /EP AFT] /EP1 Y\ F9D S5SATIONS & PLACES1 FACES & EXP]I5CES ?AT MAKE Y\ UND]/& :O Y\ >E & :AT SURR\NDS Y\4 ,IT IS A DISCOV]Y ?AT TRANS=MS Y\R WAY ( BE+ & /R5G!NS & RE9=CES ATTITUDES ?AT WILL NEV] LEAVE Y\1 & AT ! SAME TIME IT (F]S Y\ EXP]I5CES ?AT CAN %OCK Y\ & TAKE Y\ BEYOND !SE 'C]TA9TIES'4 

,A J\RNEY :]E NO?+ IS MAPP$ \T 9 ADVANCE & DUR+ :I* ALL Y\R TRU?S COME \T & BLOSSOM1 ! TRU?S ?AT Y\ CULTIVATE = Y\RSELF & :I* MAKE Y\ BEHAVE & ACT4 ,TRU?S ?AT >E CONT9U\SLY PUT 9 QUE/ION & BECOME /RONG] OR WEAK] UND] ! BL[S ( \R M]CILESS CRITIQUE4 ,9TUITIONS & IDEAS & FIRM BELIEFS ?AT >E DEALT )1 FI<T ) ONE ANO!R & F9ALLY GO ALONG ) O!R PEOPLE'S TRU?S 9 A COMMON PA?4 ,!SE >E ! CRIT]IA REPRES5T+ ! S5SE ( \R J\RNEY1 & %[ US :]E TO LOOK1 :]E TO GO1 :O IS ON \R SIDE & :O IS \R 5EMY4 

,I'M TALK+ AB\T ! TRU?S ?AT /IMULATE CONFRONTATION & GR[? F> FROM ! MON/R\S ,TRU? ?AT IS ! SAME = EV]YBODY1 SOCIAL & E?ICAL DOGMA IMPOS$ 9 ADVANCE ?AT FI<TS & FE>S ! O!R TRU?S4 

,OP5 A DOOR & ! WORLD FACES Y\4 

,9 ALL ITS USEFULNESS & MIS]Y4 

,BUT Y\ F9D Y\RSELF WOND]+ :ATEV] 

CAN HAVE %AK5 ?IS HUGE QUAGMIRE4 

,H[ MU* LUCK WILL Y\ HAVE 9 ! RACE AGA9/ TIME4 

,H[ MANY MOVES DO Y\ HAVE LEFT TO PLAY4 

,Y\ ASK Y\RSELF ?IS & 

! ANSW] REVEALS ?AT ! V>I\S PA?S 

>E ALL BUT EXHAU/$4 

,! NEXT /EP1 

A CROSSROADS1 

UNEXPECT$ SLOPES 

& Y\R ROAD %[S ITSELF 

) ALL ! EVID5CE & C]TA9TY 

?AT ALL[S Y\ TO GO AHEAD4 

,5D ( ,OCTOB] 

,Y\ ALWAYS NE$ TO BE READY TO FACE NEW SITUATIONS4 ,! REALITY Y\ DEAL ) IS CONT9UALLY *ANG+4 ,SOMETIMES !SE *ANGES LEAD Y\ TO PA?S ?AT1 AT BE/1 Y\ ONLY EV] VISIT$ 9 Y\R IMAG9ATION4 

,?IS CAN HAPP5 TO ANYBODY444 BUT ESPECIALLY TO ?OSE :O CULTIVATE A DESIRE TO %AKE RULES & REGIMES & OP5 UP !IR TODAYS & TOMORR[S TO DIFF]5T WAYS ( LIFE1 SOCIAL RELATIONS & WAYS ( GETT+ & MANAG+ :AT !Y NE$1 BO? AS 9DIVIDUALS & MEMB]S ( A COMMUNITY4 ,9 ?IS CASE ! *ANCE ( TAK+ A PA? ?AT GOES BEYOND ! CODES ( AVAILABILITY & ID5TIFICATION GR[S SIGNIFICANTLY4 ,?IS IS PROV$ BY ! EXP]I5CES ( ?OSE :O HAVE 5GAG$ 9 ! /RUGGLE = FRE$OM1 ) ALL ! MEAN+S ?AT !SE WORDS HAVE TAK5 9 SPACE & TIME4 

,IT IS A PA? ALONG :I* Y\ CAN F9D Y\RSELF BECAUSE IT IS ! ONLY ONE LEFT4 ,BUT IT CAN ALSO BE A *OICE MADE TO FOLL[ Y\R NE$S1 PROJECTS & DESIRES1 9 Y\R [N TIME4 

,TODAY ,I KN[ ?AT IT IS H>D TO BREAK ?OSE BRIDGES D[N1 

BUT IT IS POSSIBLE4 

,IT IS LIKE A CONQUE/ ( Y\RSELF & 

( Y\R ABILITIES2 

A CONQUE/ ?AT1 /EP BY /EP1 /R5G!NS Y\R C]TA9TY 

& TRU/ 9 :AT Y\ ?9K1 9 :AT Y\ WANT TO BE POSSIBLE1 

9 :AT Y\ CREATE ) DET]M9ATION & 5?USIASM4 

,! FRE$OM ,I BREA! TODAY 

COMES FROM ?IS SIL5CE 

& RE/LESSNESS ( BE+ AWAY FROM MY HABITS4 

#b#e? ,APRIL 

,!RE >E RULES1 CONV5TIONS1 PIECES ( PAP]1 TE*NOLOGICAL 9NOVATIONS ?AT ORGANIZE ! EXI/5T ACCORD+ TO ! NE$S ( PRODUCTION & SOCIAL MANAGEM5T DEVELOP$ BY ! RUL+ ,P[]4 

,!RE >E MOM5TS :5 ALL ?IS IS TOO SUFFOCAT+ = ?OSE :O WANT TO BL[ UP ?IS HUGE PRISON4 ,!N Y\ NE$ O!R SPACES1 ABILITIES & A DIFF]5T DIM5SION 9 :I* TO LE>N TO MOVE4 ,IT IS ! DIM5SION ( SECRECY1 A S]IES ( EXP$I5TS1 RELATIONS1 PROJECTS & ACTIONS ?AT ALL[ Y\ TO KEEP Y\R 9ITIATIVE & /R5G!N Y\R ABILITY ( 9T]V5TION )\T BE+ ID5TIFIABLE1 CONTROLLABLE & !RE=E LOCATABLE4 ,! DIM5SION ( SECRECY RUNS P>ALLEL TO ?AT ( ! EXI/5T AS WE NORMALLY 9T5D IT1 IT P5ETRATES IT OR MOVES AWAY FROM IT ACCORD+ TO \R NE$S & GOALS4 

#a#c3#b#h 

,I'M ON ! TRA94 ,I LEFT ! LA/ %AD[S ?AT W]E FOLL[+ ME SOME HUNDR$S ( KILOMET]S AWAY1 AFT] A QUICK RUN BETWE5 ! %ELVES ( A D\BLE EXIT SUP]M>KET & A SUDD5 RIDE ON TWO BUSSES HEAD+ T[>DS ! SUBURBS4 ,TRA9S ALSO /OP 9 ! SUBURBS & !RE >E FEW] CAM]AS ?AT Y\ CAN EASILY AVOID4 ,NOBODY IS FOLL[+ ME & 9 MY WALLET ,I HAVE DOCUM5TS ) DETAILS ?AT >E NOT M9E4 ,A NEW HAIRCUT1 A PAIR ( GLASSES1 SOME ANONYM\S CLO!S & IT'S NOT ME ANY MORE4 ,BE=E CAT*+ ?IS TRA9 ,I TOOK ONE ( ?OSE BAGS ?AT IT IS NEV] CONV5I5T TO KEEP 9 Y\R H\SE4 ,I'VE GOT :AT ,I NE$ & ,I KN[ ?AT1 ?ANKS TO ! PRECAUTIONS ,I TOOK1 ,I DON'T RUN ! RISK ( 5D+ UP AT SOME DANG]\S *ECKPO9T1 UNLESS SOME?+ V]Y UN=TUNATE HAPP5S4 ,I KN[ MY R\TE1 EV5 IF ,I'LL HAVE TO TAKE ROADS ,I'VE NEV] TAK5 BE=E & VISIT PLACES ,I'VE NEV] SE54 ,! J\RNEY ( SOMEONE ON ! RUN IS NOT LIKE TAK+ A BREAK FROM DAILY R\T9E4 ,:]EV] Y\ >RIVE Y\ IMM$IATELY HAVE TO UND]/& :AT ! SPACE Y\'RE 9 IS LIKE4 ,Y\ HAVE TO F9D ! CONDITIONS ?AT BE/ SATISFY Y\R NE$S 9 ?AT PLACE4 ,Y\ TRY TO SEE ! DANG]S AS WELL AS *>ACT]I/ICS ?AT C\LD BE USEFUL4 ,! R\TE Y\ TAKE IS A PHOTO ALBUM :]E Y\ PUT /RATEGIC SPOTS1 UND]GR\ND PASSAGES & ONE-WAY /REETS1 H\SES ( FRI5DS1 DISCREET B>S1 HOTELS :]E Y\ >E NOT ASK$ = DOCUM5TS & P>KS :]E Y\ CAN CAMP )\T ANYONE NOTIC+ Y\4 ,I'M H]E N[1 AN UNKN[N P]SON AMONG UNKN[N PEOPLE & ,I KN[ V]Y WELL :AT ,I WANT TO DO4 ,A FALSE /EP1 A WORD SAID AT ! WRONG TIME1 A SUSPICI\S LOOK OR GE/URE ?AT ATTRACTS TOO MU* ATT5TION TO MYSELF3 !SE >E ! MI/AKES ?AT ,I HAVE TO BE V]Y C>EFUL NOT TO MAKE IF ,I DON'T WANT TO RUN ANY DANG]4 ,IT IS IMPORTANT TO MOVE N[1 DET]M9$ BUT SELF-ASSUR$1 LIKE A FI% 9 WAT]4 ,H]E HE IS4 ,MY GUIDE IS WAIT+ = ME UND] ! CLOCK 9 ! SQU>E4 ,HE />TS WALK+ A FEW MET]S AHEAD1 ON ! O!R SIDE ( ! ROAD4 ,I FOLL[ HIM & ,I KN[ ?AT 9 ! DI/ANCE ,I'M WAT*$ BY O!R EYES1 FRI5DS & ACCOMPLICES4 ,GOOD1 ,I ?9K ?AT A J\RNEY LIKE ! ONE WE >E AB\T TO UND]TAKE IS MORE FASC9AT+ IF IT IS MADE 9 COMPANY4 

,A J\RNEY UND]TAK5 BY SOMEONE ON ! RUN IS NOT AT ALL C>EFREE4 ,!RE >E 9SIDI\S PASSAGES & Y\ ALWAYS HAVE TO CONSID] ! POSSIBILITY ( A =C$ RETURN TO ! SITUATION Y\ >E ESCAP+ FROM1 ) ALL ! CONSEQU5CES ?AT ?IS IMPLIES4 

,Y\ LE>N TO LIVE ) ! POSSIBILITY ( FAC+ DEA? MORE ?AN Y\ DO 9 O!R CIRCUM/ANCES4 ,SU* A POSSIBILITY IS NOT SO UNLIKELY )9 ! CONTEXT ( AN UNRES]V$ /RUGGLE AGA9/ ,P[] & ITS GU>DS4 ,IT IS NOT P>ANOIA1 IT IS JU/ ONE ( Y\R ?\<TS1 ! AW>5ESS ?AT DEA? IS ONE ( ! MANY POSSIBLE CONCLUSIONS ( Y\R ADV5TURE4 

,IT IS NOT AT ALL EASY TO FACE CONDITIONS LIKE !SE1 ESPECIALLY AS !Y IMPLY RUNN+ AWAY FROM EV]Y?+ ?AT SURR\NDS Y\1 9 A MORE OR LESS DRA/IC WAY DEP5D+ ON ! SPECIFIC CIRCUM/ANCES ( Y\R J\RNEY4 ,& Y\ MI<T FEEL LONELY )\T Y\R USUAL FRI5DS & LOV$ ONES4 ,IT IS AS IF A P>T ( Y\ HAS BE5 TORN AWAY FROM Y\R 9N] BE+4 ,Y\ WALK1 Y\ HAVE Y\R LEGS1 Y\R >MS & Y\R BRA9 BUT SOME?+ IS MISS+4 

,IT IS A VOID ?AT IT W\LD NOT BE TOO DIFFICULT TO GIVE 9 TO4 

,?IS /RANGE WAYF>] CAN EASE ! NO/ALGIA ?AT ACCOMPANYS HIM ) 5C\NT]S ALONG ! WAY1 S(T5 IT ) NEW RELATIONS & EXP]I5CES ?AT HE W\LDN'T O!RWISE HAVE HAD ! *ANCE TO MEET4 ,I DON'T JU/ MEAN ?OSE :O >E LIV+ 9 ! SAME CONDITION 9 ?IS OP5 PRISON )\T B>S1 OR ?AT HE WI%ES HE C\LD MEET4 

,WE CAN SAY ?AT HE F9DS A NEW WAY ( FAC+ HUMAN REALITY 9 ITS MORE CONCRETE NE$S1 DEPRESS+ MIS]Y & REAL JOY & S9C]ITY4 ,?IS CONDITION NOT ONLY DEP5DS ON Y\R [N NEW WAY ( MAK+ RELATIONS 7BECAUSE Y\ NE$ !M OR BECAUSE !Y HAPP5 [+ TO SOME P>TICUL> CIRCUM/ANCE71 BUT ALSO ON ! WAY 9 :I* O!RS RELATE TO Y\ & 9T]PRET !SE RELATIONS4 

,AS Y\ CANNOT C\NT ON ID5TITY1 ALL[+ O!RS TO RECOGNIZE Y\ = ?+S Y\ HAVE DONE 9 Y\R LIFE OR = :AT PEOPLE SAY OR ?9K AB\T Y\1 ! CL&E/9E R$ISCOV]S ! V]Y ESS5CE ( HIS *OICES & ASPIRATIONS4 ,HE REALIZES ?AT ! REASONS = ! OB/9ATE DESIRE = SUBV]SION ?AT ANIMATES HIM >E DEEP1 CLE> & MEAN+FUL4 ,SO HE CAN EXP]I5CE A MORE AU!NTIC & IMM$IATE WAY ( COMMUNICAT+ & MAK+ RELATIONS ?AT HE MAYBE NEV] HAD ! OPPORTUNITY TO EXP]I5CE BE=E4 ,& HE F9DS A NEW LANGUAGE TO EXPRESS ! ESS5CE ( HIS *>ACT] & C]TITUDES TO O!RS4 

,E,L ,M,E,L,F,I 

,WE >RIV$ 9 ! T[N ! NI<T ?AT ! LOCAL FOOTBALL TEAM WON AN UNLIKELY VICTORY 9 ! *AMPION%IP4 ,9 ! B>S1 DISILLUSION$ PEOPLE GAVE V5T TO ! HABITUAL RITE ( HURL+ ABUSE & DR9K+ 9 FRONT ( BIG SCRE5S1 AT TIMES NOT EV5 ALL[+ ONE TO FOLL[ ! BALL4 ,EL ,MELFI HAD ALREADY >RIV$ & HIS PRES5CE WAS RIFE 9 ! LAU<T] ?AT ACCOMPANI$ \R NI<T4 

,EL ,M5FI IS A S5SATION ?AT BECOMES ALIVE & TAKES FLE% & BLOOD1 A WAY ( MOV+ AMONG PEOPLE1 SMIL+ OR GAZ+ 9 A WAY ?AT HITS Y\R FACE & TRANS=MS Y\R MUSCLES & N]VES4 

,IF Y\ FEEL HIS PRES5CE IT WILL NEV] LEAVE Y\4 

,EL ,MELFI WAS ON \R SIDE 9 ! C>EFREE FUN TO :I* WE W]E D$ICAT$ 9 ! METROPOLITAN GRE5 ( ! CAMP :]E WE W]E GUE/S4 ,& HE MADE US TA/E1 ?R\< ! VOICE ( MEMORY1 ! EXCEPTIONAL QUALITY ( ! FEW MOM5TS WE LIV$ TOGE!R4 

,EL ,MELFI C>RIES 9 HIMSELF ! UNIQUE DIM5SION ( AN 9DIVIDUAL :O HAS RUN AWAY FROM HOME & IS /RONGLY CONV9C$ 9 HIS HE>T ?AT IF HE PUT EV]Y?+ AT /AKE1 & MAYBE ALSO LO/ A LOT1 IT WAS = AN OV]P[]+ *ANGE1 NOT ONLY 9 HIS [N CONDITION4 

,HE IS ! S5SE ( COM+ BACK TO SOME?+ ?AT Y\ HAD BEGUN1 TO A L& ?AT LOSES ITS %APE 9 RECOLLECTION & BECOMES SOME?+ IDEAL & ?AT PU%ES Y\ TO LOOK = IT ELSE:]E1 9 PEOPLE & SITUATIONS ?AT Y\ HAV5'T MET SO F>4 

,= ?IS REASON ,EL ,MELFI %[S HIMSELF TO ! UNKN[N P]SON AT ! HALF-OP5 DOOR & ! COLORFUL Y>D FULL ( /RONG SMELLS ( PEASANT COOK+ & ( M51 WOM5 & *ILDR5 LOOK+ = A FUTURE 9 ! *A9S ( AN EXI/5T ?AT CRU%ES FRE$OM & HOPE4 

,= ?IS REASON ,EL ,MELFI RUNS 9 ! WOODS & ACROSS ! ROCKS TO P5ETRATE ! HE>T ( OPPRESSION & PU% HIS KNIFE DEEP 9TO IT4 

,WE KN[ ?AT2 WE LOOK AT EA* O!R \T ( ! CORN] ( \R EYES1 & \R ?\<TS GO F>!R ?AN ! HALF WORDS & CURIOSITY ( \R COMPANIONS ( ! NI<T CAN GO1 RI<T !RE :]E \R FRE$OM MEETS ,EL ,MELFI'S4 

,?AT NI<T WE ?REW \R BAGS 9 ! CORN] ( A MATTRESS1 & AT DAWN = ! N? TIME WE LEFT AN OASIS ( TEMPOR>Y CONVIVIAL TRANQUILITY & LO/ \RSELVES 9 ! TANGLE ( ?\S&S ( /REETS & IDEAS4 ,BUT WE W]E SURE ?AT WE W\LD NEV] AB&ON EA* O!R ON ANY ACC\NT4 

,BUT 9 ! 5D1 AFT] ALL ?IS MOV+1 DISCUSS+1 %\T+ & PLANN+1 Y\ >E ALONE4 ,Y\ >E ALONE 9 ! FACE ( Y\R RESPONSIBILITIES & Y\R ABILITY1 REAL OR IMAG9$1 :5 COMMUNICAT+ ) O!RS4 ,Y\ >E ALONE 9 ! FACE ( Y\R T5ACITY & OB/9ACY1 :I* Y\ HAVE TO HOLD ON TO 9 ORD] NOT TO COLLAPSE 9 ! SLIME ?AT SURR\NDS Y\1 9 ! MIS]Y ( HUMAN RELATIONS & P]SPECTIVES1 9 ! SMALL & GREAT RESIGNATIONS ( DAILY LIFE4 

,Y\ >E ALONE1 BUT Y\ HAVE SOME?+ 9SIDE Y\ ?AT PU%ES Y\ 9TO MAK+ NEW RELATIONS1 PLANS & /RUGGLES4 

,LIV+ AS A CL&E/9E !RE=E BECOMES AN ATTITUDE AMONG ! MANY ?AT CAN COMPLETE Y\R WAY ( BE+1 ?9K+ & ACT+4 ,IT IS A J\RNEY ?AT GIVES Y\ A FILT] TO 9T]PRET :AT SURR\NDS Y\ ACCORD+ TO CRIT]IA ?AT TRANS=M ! WAY Y\ SEE LIFE1 ! TIME & SPACE ( Y\R MOVEM5TS & ! WAY Y\ SETTLE Y\RSELF4 ,I TRY TO REFLECT444 TO SEE :AT HAS BE5 DONE & :AT NOT4 ,& ,I F9D MYSELF FOLL[+ /RATEGIC & IMPROBABLE *OICES4 ,IMPROBABLE1 NOT BECAUSE !Y >E NOT APPROPRIATE TO ! SOCIAL CONTEXT 9 :I* ,I F9D MYSELF OR BECAUSE ,I MADE SOME T]RIBLE MI/AKE 9 UND]/&+ ! NE$S ?AT ! MOVEM5T ( /RUGGLE AGA9/ AU?ORITY EXPRESSES4 

,IMPROBABLE BECAUSE !Y DON'T TAKE 9TO CONSID]ATION :AT ,I REALLY AM1 ! ROADS ,I COV]1 ! GULF ?AT1 9 ! DEEPE/ P>T ( MYSELF1 /&S BETWE5 ME & MO/ ( ! PEOPLE ,I MEET4 

,?IS GULF CANNOT BE 9SURM\NTABLE1 ON ! CONTR>Y IT MU/ BE OV]COME4 ,Y\ GO ?R\< IT ONE WAY !N Y\ COME BACK ?R\< IT ! O!R4 ,IT IS A GULF ?AT DOESN'T PREV5T Y\ FROM LIV+ COMMON EXP]I5CES ) O!RS444 BUT IT IS A GULF ALL ! SAME1 & :5 ,I RUN 9SIDE IT ,I F9D \T :AT ,I AM & :AT ,I HAVE HAD ! *ANCE TO KN[1 DEVELOP & PUT 9TO PRACTICE 9 MY CL&E/9E J\RNEY1 BE IT BY *ANCE OR BY LUCID ?9K+4 ,ONLY 9 ! AW>5ESS ( ! DI/ANCES ,I 9EVITABLY COV]$ 9 MY EXP]I5CES1 MY ABILITIES & MY WAY ( FAC+ LIFE & !RE=E ! /RUGGLE1 DO ,I FEEL ,I CAN FIX MY DET]M9$ EYES ON ! PA?S ( FUTURE J\RNEYS4 

,RUNN+ AWAY FROM ! PRISON SOCIETY 

,! REPRESSIVE SY/EM IS EVOLV+4 ,LIKE ANY SECTOR ( ! BIG M>KET ?AT SOCIETY HAS BECOME1 IT IS TE/+ NEW ME?ODS TO CONTROL 9DIVIDUALS & SUBJECT !M TO ITS NE$S4 

,NEW MEASURES ( CONTROL HAVE BE5 9TRODUC$ 9 ADDITION TO JAIL AS SU*1 MEASURES ?AT SIMPLIFY ! PROBLEM ( OV]CR[D$ PRISONS & ALL[ ?OSE :O GOV]N \R DE/9Y TO E>N A LOT ( MONEY4 ,H\SE >RE/1 = EXAMPLE1 IS A GOOD 9VE/M5T3 NOT ONLY DOES ! PRISON] MANAGE HIS [N DET5TION1 BUT AN IMPRESSION ( DEMOCRATIC REPRESSION IS ALSO GIV54 ,& :AT AB\T ! ELECTRONIC BRACELETS ?AT >E APPLI$ TO ! ANKLES AS ?\< PEOPLE W]E GU9EA PIGS8 ,!SE BRACELETS >E PROVID$ BY SPECIALIZ$ COMPANIES1 SO NEW JOBS >E 9TRODUC$4 ,:Y DON'T !Y CALL !M ANKLECUFFS8 ,MAYBE ! S5T5CE ',Y\ >E OBLIG$ TO WE> ANKLECUFFS' DOESN'T S\ND GOOD 9 C\RT4 

,PRISONS EXI/ EV]Y:]E 9 \R SOCIETY & 9VE/ ALL ASPECTS ( LIFE4 ,>5'T C]TA9 FACTORIES & (FICES :]E Y\ SELL Y\R TIME TO GET :AT Y\ NE$ TO KEEP ON SUFF]+ & PRODUC+1 REAL PRISONS8 ,>5'T ! /RUCTURES ( S*OOLS & UNIV]SITIES :]E EXPLOIT]S & EXPLOIT$ >E =M$ RA!R ?AN PEOPLE1 REAL PRISONS8 ,& :AT AB\T HOSPITALS1 :]E Y\ GO TO DIE ( CANC] AFT] A /RESSFUL MEAN+LESS LIFE2 :AT AB\T REHABILITATION C5T]S1 :]E NEW ME?ODS ( REHABILITATION BACK 9TO ! PRODUCTIVE SY/EM >E TE/$8 ,& :AT >E ! CONCRETE CUBES CALL$ H\SES1 :]E PEOPLE SWE>2 :AT >E ! SLUMS :]E PEOPLE 5JOY !IR RECREATIONAL H\R2 :AT >E ! SUP]M>KETS :]E Y\ CAN BUY ! RUBBI% ?AT Y\ PRODUCE2 & :AT AB\T ! /REETS :]E PEOPLE DIE LIKE FLIES8 

,>5'T ?OSE :O >E COMPELL$ TO WORK = A MIS]ABLE WAGE PRISON]S8 ,>5'T ! IDIOTS :O P]=M 9 PROGRAMS LIKE ',BIG ,BRO!R' !IR [N JAIL]S8 ,>5'T ALL ?OSE :O MORBIDLY WAT* ! EXASP]AT+ MONOTONY ( SU* PROGRAMS ALSO JAIL]S ( !MSELVES8 ,PRISON]S 9 A WORLD :]E ! ONLY FRE$OM IS ! AM\NT Y\ HAVE 9 Y\R BANK ACC\NT4 ,BY CREAT+ MORE & MORE EFFICI5T NETWORKS ( CONTROL & US+ MORE & MORE SOPHI/ICAT$ 9/RUM5TS1 DOM9ION HAS P5ETRAT$ ALL 9TIMACY & TURN$ ALL ! PLACES :]E PEOPLE >E =C$ TO LIVE 9TO PRISONS4 

,MORE ?AN #e1 PEOPLE >E TAK5 TO PRISON EV]Y YE> 9 ,ITALY ALONE1 PRISONS ) B>S & GU>DS1 :]E TORTURE IS CON/ANTLY PRACTIC$ & BEAT+S >E ! NORMAL PROC$URE4 ,PRISON]S SUBMITT$ TO #d#aBIS REGIME 9 ,ITALY & ! ,F,I,E,S REGIME 9 ,SPA9 KN[ ALL AB\T ?AT4 ,MO/ PRISON]S HAVE COMMITT$ CRIMES AGA9/ PROP]TY OR RELAT$ TO DRUG TRAFFICK+4 ,MO/ >E IMMIGRANTS FROM L&S :]E WE/]N COLONIZATION HAS LEFT NO?+ BUT MIS]Y4 ',LAWS >E MADE BY ! RI* 9 ORD] TO EXPLOIT ?OSE :O CANNOT RESPECT !M [+ TO BRUTAL NECESSITY'7,B4 ,BRE*T74 

,I WILL NEV] HAVE ANY RESPECT = A SOCIETY :OSE AIMS >E PR(IT & W>1 & ?AT LOCKS UP ?OSE :O DON'T ACCEPT IT4 ,:5 ,I HE>D ?AT !Y WANT$ TO LOCK ME UP ,I HAD NO D\BTS3 9 ! FACE ( ! C]TITUDE ( RECLUSION ,I PREF]R$ TO RUN AWAY4 ,IT WAS AN 9/9CTIVE *OICE2 A *OICE ?AT IMPLI$ BE+ TAK5 AWAY FROM :AT MY LIFE HAD BE5 UNTIL !N BUT ALSO ! SATISFACTION ( NOT BE+ CAU<T BY ! 9QUISITORS4 ,! LIFE ( A FUGITIVE IS LIKE ?AT ( AN 9COGNITO PRISON] 9SIDE ! BIG PRISON ?AT IS SOCIETY4 ,I CAN'T SAY :E!R RUNN+ AWAY IS BETT] ?AN BE+ 9 AN (FICIAL PRISON OR WORSE ?AN BE+ 9 ! PRISON-SOCIETY4 ,I'VE NEV] BE5 9 JAIL BUT ,I KN[ ! ALI5ATION & M$IOCRITY ( LIFE :5 Y\ >E EXPLOIT$ V]Y WELL4 ,!Y >E DIFF]5T ASPECTS ( ! SAME PROBLEM3 ?AT ( NOT BE+ FREE4 ,I WILL NEV] BE FREE SO LONG AS EXPLOITATION1 PRISONS1 & ALL K9DS ( PROP]TY & AU?ORITY EXI/1 AS !Y >E ! MA9 CAUSES ( SOCIAL 9EQUALITY4 

,F> BE IT FROM ME TO IDEALIZE ! CONDITION ( CL&E/9ITY AS A W9N+ =MULA = 9SURRECTION1 BUT ,I CANNOT HELP PO9T+ \T ITS POSITIVE ASPECTS4 ,IF Y\ MU/ FACE A PRISON CELL1 IT IS WOR? TRY+ ?IS ADV5TURE1 :I* WILL ALSO GIVE Y\ ! POSSIBILITY ( DISCOV]+ ! *ANCES ?AT LIFE AS FUGITIVE CAN (F] & ! IMPORTANCE ?AT ?IS EXP]I5CE CAN HAVE 9 A REVOLUTION>Y P]SPECTIVE4 ,IT IS ALSO A QUE/ION ( PR9CIPLE4 ,Y\R *>ACT] & T5SIONS PLAY ! MO/ IMPORTANT ROLE :5 IT COMES TO MAK+ SU* A DECISION4 ,9 FACT1 IT IS BETT] TO /AY AT HOME & WAIT = EV5TS TO OV]COME Y\ RA!R ?AN BECOME A PRISON] ( FE> & ( Y\RSELF4 ,= ME ?IS IS A J\RNEY ON ! FR+ES ( SOCIETY DUR+ :I* ,I'VE TRI$1 NOT ALWAYS SUCCESSFULLY1 TO HIDE MYSELF ! LEA/ POSSIBLE & TO KEEP MY [N 9DIVIDUALISM_/ID5TITY EV5 IF ,I HAD TO HIDE MY /ORY & MY PA/4 ,I'M NOT SC>$ AB\T NOT KN[+ :]E ,I'M GO+ TO PUT MY SLEEP+ BAG TOMORR[4 ,I'VE ALWAYS HAD A NOMADIC SPIRIT & TRAVEL+ WAS MY S*OOL1 & ! J\RNEY ,I'M MAK+ N[ IS BY F> ! MO/ 9T]E/+ & AU!NTIC ONE4 ,IT IS ! J\RNEY ?AT HAS TAU<T ME H[ TO F9D NEW EQUILIBRIUMS EV5 IF ,I HAD TO KEEP MOV+4 ,&1 AL?\< ) GREAT DIFFICULTY1 IT HAS TAU<T ME TO REMA9 AN 9DIVIDUAL :O /RUGGLES & NOT BECOME A %AD[ HUGG+ A WALL4 ,! *OICE ( BE+ A FUGITIVE IMPLIES ?AT Y\ HAVE TO LEAVE ALL PUBLIC LIFE1 ALL RELATIONS ) FRI5DS & RELATIVES =EV] & ADOPT A CONT9U\S T5SION & ATT5TION 9 :AT Y\ SAY & DO4 ,IT IS A *OICE ?AT %\LD BE CONSID]$ C>EFULLY BE=E BE+ UND]TAK51 A *OICE ?AT BR+S ?\S&S ( CONTRADICTIONS 9 ITSELF BUT1 IF FAC$ ) AW>5ESS & )\T FALL+ 9TO P>ANOIA1 IT CAN KEEP Y\R S5SES WELL ALIVE & /R5G!N Y\R CAPACITY TO ADAPT TO ANY CIRCUM/ANCES4 ,Y\ />T LOOK+ AT ! C\NTRY 9 A DIFF]5T WAY1 Y\ DISCOV] A NEW WORLD :5 Y\ PICK UP A MAP 9 Y\R H&S1 GEOGRAPHY BECOMES A SCI5CE ?AT LEADS Y\ TO CONSID] T]RITORY AS SOME?+ GLOBAL1 TO ?9K BEYOND BORD]S1 TO LOOK BEYOND =C$ PASSAGES & F9D ANCI5T ONES4 ,IT IS A *OICE ?AT TRANS=MS Y\R RELATIONS ) O!RS & ) Y\R DAILY LIFE1 (T5 9 A DISAGREEABLE WAY4 ,= EXAMPLE1 :5 Y\ MEET SOMEONE Y\ KN[1 Y\ RISK PUTT+ HIM_/H] 9 TR\BLE1 & :5 Y\ ASK HIM_/H] A FAVOR Y\ HAVE ! IMPRESSION ?AT Y\ >E PUTT+ HIM_/H] UP AGA9/ ! WALL4 ,BY CONTRA/1 SOLID RELATIONS1 ! DEEP ONES 9 :I* COMPLICITY IS SPONTANE\S1 BECOME MORE CONCRETE & PASSIONATE4 

,MAK+ FRI5DS )\T TELL+ ! TRU? IS NOT EASY4 ,IT IS Y\R ATTITUDE & NE$ = COMMUNICATION ?AT WILL DECIDE4 ,TO LIVE ON ! RUN IS NOT EASY4 ,Y\R WAY ( SPEAK+1 /RANGE BEHAVIOR & ! LIES Y\ HAVE TO TELL SURR\ND Y\ ) AN AIR ( MY/]Y ?AT C\LD BE 9T]PRET$ NEGATIVELY4 ,EV]YONE HAS A DE> FRI5D :OM !Y TRU/ COMPLETELY1 & ?AT WAY EV]YBODY GETS TO KN[ EV]Y?+4 ,DISCRETION IS A VIRTUE ?AT IS GETT+ MORE & MORE R>E4 

,I ?9K ?AT ! SAFE/ WAY IS TO KEEP MOV+ CONT9U\SLY SO ?AT Y\R 5EMY HAS V]Y LITTLE *ANCE ( LOCAT+ Y\4 ,Y\ ABSOLUTELY MU/ AVOID TELEPHONE CALLS TO RELATIVES & FRI5DS1 VISITS & LETT]S ADDRESS$ TO KN[N PLACES4 ,9 FACT1 9VE/IGATORS TURN !IR ATT5TION PRECISELY ON TO !SE PEOPLE BECAUSE !Y KN[ ?AT Y\ WILL NATURALLY FEEL LIKE LI/5+ TO ! VOICE ( A LOV$ ONE & LETT+ HIM_/H] KN[ ?AT Y\ >E ALL RI<T4 ,Y\ HAVE TO BE> 9 M9D ?AT !RE >E AT LEA/ TWO COPS ON ALL LONG DI/ANCE TRA9S & ?AT !RE >E POLICE /ATIONS 9 ALL ! BIG RAILWAY /ATIONS4 ,Y\ HAVE ALSO TO KN[ ?AT IF Y\ >E TOO UNTIDILY OR TOO FLA%LY DRESS$ Y\ WILL ATTRACT ATT5TION4 ,! TOTAL MILIT>IZATION ( ! C\NTRY COMPELS Y\ TO F9D SPOTS :]E Y\ CAN MOVE AB\T1 ! WEAK L9KS ( ! NET ?R\< :I* Y\ CAN PASS UNOBS]V$1 TO SEE :I* H\RS ( ! DAY >E MORE CONV5I5T & :I* >E ! MO/ CONV5I5T PLACES TO SP5D ! NI<T4 ,IT IS NOT AT ALL NICE TO BE HUNT$ D[N1 & IT IS EV5 WORSE TO KN[ ?AT ! REPRESSION ALSO & MA9LY CONC]NS ! PEOPLE Y\ LOVE4 

,LIV+ 9 HID+1 H[EV]1 EV5 IF DONE ) DIGNITY1 IS /ILL ONLY ONE SIDE ( ! CO94 ,! O!R1 ! ?\<T ( Y\R IMPRISON$ COMRADES BE+ SUBMITT$ TO HUMILIATION & VIOL5CE1 CANNOT BE =GOTT54 

,LIV+ 9 HID+ IS A *ALL5GE1 AN OCCASION TO TE/ Y\R IDEAS \T1 A *OICE ?AT LEADS Y\ 9TO A LIFE FULL ( EMOTIONS1 A RECKLESS LIFE ?AT CAN BE V]Y SAD AT TIMES1 AS ALL *OICES >E4 ,LIV+ 9 HID+ IS LIKE MAK+ A GAMBLE1 DAY AFT] DAY1 A GAMBLE ON Y\R PRES5T BECAUSE Y\R FUTURE IS A D>K CL\D1 A S]IES ( MIS]ABLE DATES 9 Y\R DI>Y4 ,AT FIR/ Y\ DREAM ( COPS & ESCAPES1 !N Y\ DREAM ( VISIT+ FRI5DS & TURN+ UP 9 Y\R USUAL B>4 ,9 P>TICUL>1 ,I HAVE TO SAY ?AT MY DREAMS HAVE *ANG$ & BECOME T]RIBLY REAL4 ,I (T5 ASK MYSELF IF RUNN+ AWAY IS /ILL REASONABLE1 !N ,I REALIZE ?AT ,I WILL NEV] WANT TO 5T] A PRISON4 ,I'LL KEEP ON RUNN+1 AS ?IS IS MY NATURE1 & ,I'LL KEEP ON CURS+ ?OSE :O P]SECUTE ME4 

,IT IS A *OICE ?AT RADICALLY *ANGES Y\R WAY ( LIFE1 Y\R VISION ( LIFE1 Y\R JUDGM5TS AB\T ?+S & Y\R FEEL+S4 

,Y\ BECOME A BIT H>D & Y\ CAN ONLY EXPRESS Y\RSELF FREELY ON ! R>E OCCASIONS ?AT Y\ MEET FRI5DS1 BUT !N TIME IS ALWAYS TOO %ORT TO DISCUSS :AT'S GO+ ON & :AT HAS *ANG$4 ,Y\ HAVE TO CONT5T Y\RSELF ) A REALITY SE5 ?R\< ! EYES ( O!RS4 ,I ?9K ?AT ,I C\LD HAVE MANY MORE POSSIBILITIES IF !RE HAD BE5 A SOLID>ITY NETWORK & WIDESPREAD DISCUSSION ON ! QUE/ION ( LIV+ 9 HID+4 ,TO (F] SPACE = DISCUSSION & REAL POSSIBILITIES ( SURVIV+ TO ?OSE :O >E COMPELL$ TO HIDE IS 9 MY OP9ION AN ESS5TIAL P>T ( ANY REVOLUTION>Y EXP]I5CE4 ,I ?9K ?AT ! LIFE ( FUGITIVES W\LD BE EASI] IF REF]5CE PO9TS EXI/$1 AS !Y >E 9DISP5SABLE 9 ORD] TO KEEP 9 T\* CONC]N+ ANY NE$S3 9=MATION1 LEGAL QUE/IONS1 SOLID>ITY1 MONEY4 ,I DON'T 9T5D TO PUT =W>D A PROPOSAL = ! CREATION ( ANY =MAL /RUCTURE ) FIX$ RESPONSIBILITIES 9 ! LONG T]M1 ,I AM JU/ ?9K+ ( A COORD9ATION ( 9DIVIDUALS & GR\PS ?AT WANT TO %[ !IR SOLID>ITY1 OR :O ALREADY DO ?AT1 TO ?OSE :O >E HIT BY REPRESSION4 ,I ?9K ?AT SU* A COORD9ATION C\LD OP5 GAPS 9 ! WALLS !Y >E BUILD+ >\ND US1 A COORD9ATION ?AT TAKES 9TO ACC\NT RELATIVES & FRI5DS ( ! P]SECUT$1 :O >E ALSO HIT BY REPRESSION4 ,& IF ! LATT] >E S5SITIVE TO C]TA9 SUBJECTS1 DISCUSSIONS C\LD BE SUGGE/$ TO HELP !M UND]/& REPRESSIVE ME*ANISMS BETT] & GET 9 T\* ) O!RS 9 SIMIL> CONDITIONS & MAYBE CREATE !IR '[N' WAY ( ORGANIZ+ SOLID>ITY4 ,IF Y\ HIDE Y\RSELF TOO MU*1 BREAK (F ALL CONTACTS & DISAPPE> NOT ONLY PHYSICALLY BUT ALSO FROM Y\R PROJECTS1 !N Y\ DEF9ITELY CONTRIBUTE TO Y\R [N ISOLATION4 ,9 ?IS WAY Y\ W\LD BE PLAY+ ! SAME GAME AS ?OSE :O WANT TO GET RID ( US4 ,= ?IS REASON IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ?AT IF Y\ >E COMPELL$ TO RUN AWAY Y\ KEEP ON LIV+ ) DIGNITY & DON'T LOSE Y\R *ANCE TO ACT OR 9T]V5E 9 DISCUSSIONS4 ,AS Y\ HAVE ALWAYS DONE4 

,GETT+ RID ( FRU/RATION 

,:Y DID Y\ DECIDE TO LEAVE Y\R COMMUNITY & A SITUATION ?AT WAS QUITE WELL KN[N TO Y\1 EV5 IF IT WAS ALSO DIFFICULT & DRAMATIC8 ,:AT DID Y\ EXPECT & :AT DID Y\ ACTUALLY F9D8 

,MAYBE ?AT IS PRECISELY ! PO9T4 ,A SITUATION CAN BE KN[N TO SU* AN EXT5T ?AT !RE >E NO ASPECTS TO BE *ANG$1 !RE IS NO WILL TO *ANGE Y\R LIFE OR EV5 TO KEEP ON LIV+4 ,LIFE IS CONT9U\SLY ?REAT5$ & Y\ CAN BE KILL$ FROM ONE MOM5T TO ! NEXT4 ,BUT IT WAS NOT ALWAYS LIKE ?AT4 ,! ?REAT ( BE+ KILL$ HAS BE5 HANG+ OV] ALL ,ALG]IANS1 NOT ONLY ME1 = ! LA/ FEW YE>S1 S9CE ! ,N9ETIES4 ,BE=E REA*+ ?IS SITUATION :]E Y\R LIFE IS ?REAT5$1 IT WAS ALREADY DANG]\S4 ,:5 ,I WAS AT UNIV]SITY ,I WAS 9VOLV$ 9 A UNION1 ,I WAS AN EXTREME LEFTW+ ACTIVI/4 ,:5 ! T]RORISM />T$1 !RE=E1 POLITICALLY ACTIVE PEOPLE W]E ITS MA9 T>GETS1 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT ,I HAD TO BECOME CL&E/9E 9 ORD] TO ACT BECAUSE ,I C\LDN'T DO IT OP5LY ANY LONG]4 ,AS LONG AS ! RISK WAS ?AT ( BE+ PHYSICALLY ATTACK$1 BO? ME & MY FRI5DS & RELATIVES1 ,I C\LD C>RY ON4 ,BUT :5 DEA? CAME TO ?REAT5 ! :OLE FAMILY1 9CLUD+ ! *ILDR5 ON !IR WAY TO S*OOL1 ! ONLY SOLUTION = ME WAS TO LEAVE ! C\NTRY4 ,TO LEAVE DOESN'T MEAN TO SURR5D] & GO1 NO WAY4 ,!RE EXI/$ A K9D ( =K3 ON ! ONE H& ! ,ALG]IAN SECRET S]VICES1 ON ! O!R ! T]RORI/S4 ,AT ! TIME ,I WAS WORK+ = AN ,ALG]IAN PUBLIC COMPANY1 ! ONLY TELECOMMUNICATIONS COMPANY 9 ! C\NTRY4 ,WE RECEIV$ LETT]S 9VIT+ US TO /OP WORK+ = ! ,/ATE4 ,BUT IF Y\ /OPP$ WORK ! POLICE W\LD COME TO Y\R H\SE CLAIM+ Y\ W]E A T]RORI/2 SO IF Y\ ESCAP$ FROM ! T]RORI/S1 Y\ HAD TO FACE ! POLICE4 ,I WAS DISPOS$ TO RISK PHYSICAL AGGRESSION = ?AT BE=E1 BUT :5 ! CONCRETE RISK ( BE+ KILL$ CAME ,I HAD ONLY ONE *OICE3 TO 5LI/ AGA9/ ! T]RORI/S OR BECOME A T]RORI/ MYSELF4 ,I WAS NOT 9T]E/$ 9 EI!R ( !SE OPTIONS AS IT WAS NOT MY /RUGGLE4 ,! SITUATION WAS =C+ PEOPLE TO TAKE A POSITION = ONE SIDE OR ! O!R4 ,! PRICE WAS NOT ONLY HAV+ Y\R H\SE BURNT OR LOS+ Y\R JOB BUT ALSO RISK+ Y\R LIFE & ?AT ( Y\R RELATIVES4 ,?IS IS ! MA9 REASON ?AT PU%$ ME TO LEAVE ! C\NTRY4 ,ECONOMIC REASONS >E ALSO 9VOLV$ 9 SU* *OICE ( C\RSE1 BUT 9 MY CASE ,I HAD A WELL PAID JOB ?AT ALL[$ ME TO SURVIVE4 ,AFT] ! FUNDAM5TALI/ P>TIES TOOK P[]1 H[EV]1 & RELIGION BECAME POLITICS & SOCIETY WAS SUBJECT$ TO MORAL RULES1 FRE$OM WAS NO LONG] POSSIBLE4 ,! SIMPLE FACT ( GO+ \T ) Y\R GIRLFRI5D C>RI$ ! C]TITUDE ?AT Y\ W\LD BE ASSAULT$4 ,A GIRL IS NOT ALL[$ TO GO >\ND WE>+ ! CLO!S %E LIKES & %E IS COMPELL$ TO COV] H]SELF ) A VEIL4 ,IT IS PRECISELY P]SONAL FRE$OM ( *OICE ?AT IS TOTALLY ?REAT5$4 ,IT IS A SOCIAL PROBLEM BECAUSE ALL AGGRESSIONS REMA9 UNPUNI%$4 ,= EXAMPLE1 GANGS ( FUNDAM5TALI/ /UD5TS PATROL ! CAMPUSES & IF !Y SEE A C\PLE !Y WILL C]TA9LY BEAT !M UP4 

,:O CAN RESI/ & RISK EV]Y S+LE DAY8 

,ECONOMIC CONC]NS W]E NOT RELEVANT = ME AS ,I E>N$ ONE MILLION D9>I 9 ,ALG]IA1 #a EUROS MORE OR LESS1 Y\ CAN LIVE ON ?IS1 AS PRICES >E NOT SO HI< !RE4 ,OV] ! LA/ FEW YE>S1 H[EV]1 [+ TO T]RORISM1 ECONOMIC RE=MS1 SABOTAGE ( FACTORIES 7!Y SAY P]PETRAT$ BY T]RORI/S1 BUT ! ,ALG]IAN ,/ATE IS CLE>LY 9VOLV$ AS IT CAN SELL (F FACTORIES = A DIME71 LIFE HAS BECOME MU* H>D] FROM ! ECONOMIC PO9T ( VIEW1 & BUY+ P[] IS DIM9I%+ AT A HECTIC PACE EV5 IF Y\ HAVE AV]AGE WAGES4 ,PRICES HAVE GONE UP #a.01 #b.0 ) ! EXCUSE ( T]RORISM4 ,ONCE UPON A TIME ! ,/ATE GAVE ITS SUPPORT & COV]$ ! PRICE ( BASIC NE$S 7FL\R1 BREAD1 MILK1 ETC7 UP TO #h.0 SO ?AT PEOPLE W]E ACTUALLY PAY+ ONLY #b.04 ,ALL ?IS 5D$ ) ! ADV5T ( T]RORISM4 ,DEEP ECONOMIC RE=MS W]E 9TRODUC$ SO ?AT MY SAL>Y WAS NO LONG] 5\< TO LEAD A DIGNIFI$ LIFE4 ,BESIDES ?IS !RE /&S A DREAM1 A DREAM ( ,EUROPE :]E Y\ CAN LIVE 9 FRE$OM1 & ,I'VE ALWAYS HAD ?IS DREAM4 

,Y\ HAVE (T5 M5TION$ T]RORISM4 ,CAN Y\ EXPLA9 :AT Y\ MEAN ) ?IS WORD8 ,:AT IS ! SITUATION 9 Y\R C\NTRY8 

,! T]RORISM ,I AM TALK+ AB\T IS ?AT ( C]TA9 /UD5TS' OR LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS4 ,! LEAD] IS ! ,IMAM ( ! MOSQUE & HIS AIM IS TO IMPOSE MORAL RULES ON SOCIETY3 WOM5 CANNOT WE> M9ISKIRTS OR DRIVE A C>2 M5 CANNOT LET !M GO \T ALONE1 & IF !Y DO BO? ( !M WILL BE PUNI%$2 IT IS ABSOLUTELY =BIDD5 TO DR9K W9E TO A SU* A PO9T ?AT FUNDAM5TALI/S W5T >\ND SMA%+ C(FEE-%OPS 9 ! T[NS4 ,! POLICE1 :O CONTROLL$ ?IS MOVEM5T1 LEFT !M TO DO !IR JOB4 ,:5 ! LATT] WON ! ELECTIONS 9 ,ALG]IA ! MILIT>Y /OPP$ ! ELECTIONS & JAIL$ ! LEAD]S ( ! FUNDAM5TALI/ P>TIES4 ,! REACTION ( ! MO/ H>DCORE MILITANTS WAS TO TAKE UP >MS & C>RY \T MASSACRES4 

,ONCE UPON A TIME Y\ C\LD FI<T !M ) IDEAS1 MAKE PROPAG&A AGA9/ !M & RESI/ !IR ?REATS4 ,N[ !Y DON'T LIMIT !MSELVES TO BURN+ Y\R H\SE OR ?R[+ ACID ON WOM51 !Y ALSO KILL Y\ & PUT BOMBS ON BUSSES4 ,= EXAMPLE1 :5 ,I WORK$ WE HAD TO GO \T ( ! BUILD+ AT LEA/ FIVE TIMES A DAY AS !Y CLAIM$ !RE WAS A BOMB ON ! SECOND FLOOR1 & ALL ( US RAN (F4 ,!Y S[$ T]ROR3 #b1 PEOPLE DI$ 9 ,ALG]IA BETWE5 #aiib & #b#b4 ,!Y W]E H>MLESS PEOPLE1 PEOPLE :O C\LDN'T ESCAPE ABROAD OR TAKE UP >MS AGA9/ T]RORI/S OR DEF5D !MSELVES AGA9/ ! ,ALG]IAN SECRET S]VICES4 ,ALG]IAN SECURITY AG5TS & ! MILIT>Y 9FILTRATE ! T]RORI/ MOVEM5T & HAVE NO 9T5TION ( DEF5D+ CITIZ5S AGA9/ MASSACRES1 ON ! CONTR>Y4 ,IF Y\ /AY !RE Y\ HAVE TO KILL1 AS Y\ HAVE NO HOPE ( SURVIV+ OR FI<T+ BACK4 ,I DON'T WANT TO KILL ANYBODY2 ,I DON'T WANT TO BE A T]RORI/4 ,!RE WAS A MASSACRE ONE NI<T 9 ,ALGI]S1 ,I WAS WORK+ !RE AT ! TIME1 #d PEOPLE W]E KILL$ 9 ONE NI<T1 %OT OR BUT*]$4 ,! PEOPLE :O MANAG$ TO ESCAPE FROM ! VILLAGE W5T TO ! NE>E/ MILIT>Y B>RACKS1 NOT POLICE HEADQU>T]S1 Y\ KN[1 :5 Y\ >E 9 DANG] Y\ ?9K ?AT ! AU?ORITIES WILL HELP Y\1 WELL1 ! MILIT>Y %OT !SE PEOPLE & KILL$ !M4 ,?IS IS T]RORISM4 ,T]RORI/S HAVE KILL$ COMMON PEOPLE1 POOR PEOPLE :O C\LDN'T REACT1 !Y HAVE KILL$ F>M]S4 ,MANY F>M]S HAVE BE5 KILL$ 9 ISOLAT$ SPOTS OV] REC5T YE>S ) ! COMPLICITY ( ! ,/ATE4 ,?IS DIDN'T HAPP5 BY *ANCE3 !RE IS NO PRIVATE L& 9 ,ALG]IA AS ALL ! L& IS CULTIVAT$ BY COMMUNITIES & BY PEOPLE FROM ! VILLAGES & IT DOESN'T BELONG TO ANYBODY4 ,N[ ! L& IS BE+ SOLD ?ANKS TO A PROCESS ( PRIVATIZATION ?AT IS BR++ A LOT ( MONEY TO ! ,/ATE & ! >MY4 ,BUT !RE >E F>M]S :O DON'T WANT TO LEAVE1 & IT IS EXACTLY !RE ?AT PEOPLE >E BE+ KILL$1 FROM ! ELDE/ D[N TO FIVE MON?S OLD4 ,BUS9ESSM5 COM+ FROM ABROAD ALSO WANT TO BUY 9 ,ALG]IA4 ,I SAY T]RORISM BECAUSE IT IS NOT KN[N :O KILLS :O1 ANY ( US CAN DIE BUT WE DON'T KN[ :Y1 WE DON'T KN[ :O IS GO+ TO KILL US1 WE DON'T KN[ :AT IS GO+ TO HAPP5 NEXT4 ,IF !RE IS ANY SACRIFICE TO BE MADE = A CAUSE1 ?AT'S OK4 ,BUT H]E ! CAUSE IS 9COMPREH5SIBLE & UNCONTROLLABLE & IT IS PO9TLESS TO BE KILL$ UND] !SE CONDITIONS4 

,SO Y\ TRI$ TO EMIGRATE444 

,I EXPECT$ TO F9D FRE$OM H]E1 9DIVIDUAL & COLLECTIVE FRE$OM4 ,I WAS COMPLETELY WRONG AS CONC]NS 9DIVIDUAL FRE$OM1 AS = COLLECTIVE FRE$OM ,I REALIZ$ ?AT IT IS NOT SO SIMPLE3 AS WE IGNORE REALITY1 WE >E S$UC$ BY ! WE/]N M$IA ?AT GIVE US A FALSE IMAGE ( IT4 ,& !N EMIGRANTS COM+ BACK ON HOLIDAYS DON'T TALK AB\T ! REAL SITUATION4 ,AS ,I SAID BE=E1 IT IS A MORAL QUE/ION3 9 A SOCIETY :]E NOBODY TELLS O!RS !IR PROBLEMS1 EMIGRANTS :O LIVE A V]Y H>D LIFE ABROAD SAY ?AT !Y >E OK 9 ! =EIGN C\NTRY1 ?AT !Y CAN DO ?IS & ?AT4 ,ON ! CONTR>Y = ME IT WAS DIFF]5T4 

,! FIR/ PLACE ,I >RIV$ AT WAS A LITTLE VILLAGE 9 ! NOR? ( ,ITALY1 :]E A FRI5D ( M9E HAD COME ONE YE> E>LI]4 ,I US$ TO TALK TO HIM ON ! PHONE & IT SEEM$ ?AT IT WAS OK = HIM2 HE NEV] TALK$ AB\T HIS PROBLEMS EV5 IF ,I CAN IMAG9E :AT !Y W]E LIKE4 ,I US$ TO SAY TO MYSELF3 NO MATT] :AT PROBLEMS ,I F9D 9 ,ITALY !Y WILL NEV] BE LIKE ! ONES ,I FACE H]E444 M9D Y\1 !RE >E ,ALG]IANS :O EMIGRATE TO ,NIG]IA6 ,AS LIFE IS AT RISK 9 ,ALG]IA PEOPLE ALSO EXP]I5CE SOCIAL FRU/RATION3 !RE IS NO FRE$OM ( EXPRESSION BECAUSE ( BO? ! MORALS ( SOCIETY & ! RIGIDITY ( ! POLITICAL SY/EM4 ,Y\ CANNOT FAIL TO BE T]RORIZ$ :5 Y\ SEE ! HEAD ( A FRI5D OR A RELATIVE ( Y\RS HANG+ ON A VILLAGE SIGNPO/4 ,& :5 Y\ >E T]RORIZ$ & Y\ AGREE NEI!R ) ! MILIT>Y OR ! FUNDAM5TALI/S Y\ HAVE NO *OICE BUT TO LEAVE ! VILLAGE4 

,:5 ,I >RIV$ 9 ,ITALY1 ,I F\ND ?IS FRI5D ( M9E :O WAS AN AGRICULTURAL WORK] & LIV$ ALONE4 ,HE TRI$ TO GET A JOB = ME TOO4 ,9 FACT1 AS SOON AS Y\ >RIVE Y\ NE$ TO SURVIVE4 ,I />T$ WORK+ 9 A V9EY>D & !RE ,I EXP]I5C$ EV]Y?+ ,I W\LD NEV] DO TO O!RS4 ,:AT DO ,I MEAN8 ,I MEAN ?AT ,I WORK$ FROM #gAM TILL SUNSET OR EV5 #aPM & GOT #f1 LIRAS P] H\R4 ,AT FIR/ ,I WAS HAPPY ) ?AT1 ! IMPORTANT ?+ WAS NOT TO />VE4 ,I KEPT ON WORK+ H>D & ,I EXP]I5C$ ?+S ?AT ,I W\LD NEV] HAVE IMAG9$4 ,I DIDN'T KN[ ?AT SU* ?+S EXI/$2 !Y DON'T EXI/ EV5 9 ,ALG]IA4 ,AT ! V9EY>D EV]YBODY CUT BUN*ES ( GRAPES :]EAS MY FRI5D & ,I HAD TO C>RY BASKETS ALONG ! L9E1 V]Y H>D WORK 9DE$4 ,I REMEMB] IT WAS V]Y HOT & ,I TOLD ! WOMAN BOSS ?AT ,I NE$$ TO RE/ & ASK$ TO CUT BUN*ES 9/EAD4 ,%E DIDN'T ACCEPT1 AS %E WANT$ US TO DO ! H>DE/ JOB4 ,!N WE W]E PAID HALF :AT ! O!RS W]E1 :O W]E ALL ,ITALIAN4 ,I F\ND DISGU/+ DISCRIM9ATION1 :I* %\LDN'T BE POSSIBLE 9 ,EUROPE1 ! L& ( HUMAN RI<TS4 ,WE W]E NOT EV5 ALL[$ TO /OP & HAVE A CIG>ETTE4 ,I WAS V]Y ANGRY & ?\<T ( LOOK+ = ANO!R JOB1 BUT ! VILLAGE WAS SMALL1 ,I KNEW ONLY ONE ,ALG]IAN & DIDN'T F9D ANY?+ ELSE4 ,SO ,I KEPT ?AT JOB1 AS ,I HAD TO PAY ! R5T4 

,BE=E F9D+ A H\SE TO R5T1 WE LIV$ 9 AN AB&ON$ UN9HABITABLE H\SE ) AN UNSAFE RO(1 :I* WAS GIV5 TO US BY ANO!R BOSS4 ,WE LIV$ !RE = TWO MON?S1 & !N WE R5T$ A H\SE 9 ! VILLAGE4 ,I KEPT ON WORK+ !RE3 IT WAS OK TO 5DURE PHYSICAL SUFF]+1 EV5 IF IT WAS NOT EASY TO ADAPT MYSELF1 BUT ,I C\LD KEEP MY DIGNITY & PAY ! R5T4 ,PHYSICAL SUFF]+ CAN BE OV]COME1 ,I REPEAT$ TO MYSELF1 ?IS IS JU/ A PASS+ MOM5T4 ,:5 ! GRAPE H>VE/ F9I%$ & ALSO ! JOB ,I FELT ALONE4 ,I DIDN'T KN[ ANYBODY & ! PEOPLE ( ! VILLAGE W]E SC>$ & DIDN'T TRU/ US4 ,NOT ONLY IGNORANT PEOPLE BUT ALSO LEFTW+ MILITANTS W]E UNWILL+ TO OP5 UP TO US4 ,PEOPLE CONSID]$ ME 9F]IOR BECAUSE ,I WAS FROM AN 'UND]DEVELOP$' C\NTRY4 ,SO ,I SAID TO MYSELF3 ,I MU/ ABSOLUTELY LEAVE ?IS PLACE N[4 

,MEANTIME ANO!R FRI5D >RIV$ & 9 ?REE WE R5T$ QUITE A BIG H\SE 9 ! VILLAGE ?AT WAS NOT SO EXP5SIVE4 ,WE /AY$ FIFTE5 DAYS 9 ! H\SE ?9K+ AB\T :AT C\LD BE DONE1 & WE DECID$ TO GET \T ( ! VILLAGE & SEE :AT !RE WAS \TSIDE4 ,WE DECID$ ?AT IT WAS NOT :AT WE WANT$ & MAYBE IT WASN'T ! SAME EV]Y:]E4 ,SO WE DECID$ TO GO TO A BIGG] T[N & APPROA* SOME ORGANIZATION1 C]TA9LY NOT ! ,NOR!RN ,LEAGUE4 ,WE LOOK$ = ! PREMISES ( ! COMMUNI/ P>TY1 WE W5T !RE & TALK$ AB\T \RSELVES & SAID ?AT WE W]E ,ALG]IANS & WANT$ TO MEET LOCAL LEFTW+ MILITANTS4 ,EV5 IF \R ,ITALIAN WAS QUITE BAD1 WE MANAG$ TO MAKE \RSELVES UND]/OOD4 ,!Y S5T US TO ! ,C,G,I,L UNION AS !Y SAID !RE WAS A MEMB] ( ! COMMUNI/ P>TY :O SPOKE ,FR5* & MAYBE HE C\LD HELP US4 ,WE TALK$ TO HIM = H\RS1 & !N CAME BACK HOME4 ,:AT =8 ,CLE>LY ?AT MAN WAS NOT 9 ! LEA/ T\*$ BY \R PROBLEMS1 FRU/RATIONS & ! MESSAGE WE WANT$ TO COMMUNICATE4 ,WE NE$$ TO F9D SOMEONE :O C\LD UND]/& US & DO SOME?+1 BUT WE DIDN'T F9D ANYONE4 

,IT WAS QUITE DISAPPO9T+ TO F9D \T :AT ! WE/]N POLITICAL WORLD WAS LIKE4 ,POLITICAL P>TIES & ! SO '5VIABLE' WE/]N DEMOCRACY >E NOT ANY DIFF]5T FROM ! CORRUPTION & ! TRICKS ?AT *>ACT]IZE P[] 9 ,ALG]IA3 ! SAME WAY ( RUL+ & ! SAME /RUCTURE ( GOV]NM5T1 P>TIES & UNIONS4 ,I CAN EV5 SAY ?AT !Y >E COMPLEM5T>Y BECAUSE ONE CANNOT EXI/ )\T ! O!R4 

,WE /AY$ 9 ! VILLAGE A LITTLE LONG]4 ,! LA/ FRI5D TO >RIVE 9 ,ITALY GOT A #f-MON? /UD5T VISA & REQUE/$ A /AY P]MIT4 ,A C\PLE ( MON?S LAT] HE W5T TO TAKE HIS P]MIT BUT WAS GIV5 A DEPORTATION ORD] 9/EAD4 ,HE HAD TO LEAVE ! C\NTRY )9 #ae DAYS4 ,AT ?AT PO9T HIS SITUATION WAS WORSE ?AN M9E AS HE HAD A DEPORTATION ORD]1 SO WE REMA9$ 9 ! VILLAGE4 ,PROBLEMS SOON >OSE BETWE5 US4 ,WE W]E ALWAYS /UCK AT HOME & DIDN'T GO \T BECAUSE !RE WAS NOBODY >\ND4 ,MAYBE PEOPLE PEEP$ AT US FROM !IR W9D[S TO *ECK ?AT WE W]E NOT /EAL+ ANY?+4 ,MOREOV] WE W]E AFRAID WE MI<T MEET SOME ,C>AB9I]I1 :O W\LD C]TA9LY >RE/ US 9 ?OSE CONDITIONS IF !Y F\ND US ALONE 9 ! /REET4 ,ONCE A C> ( ! F9ANCE POLICE /OPP$ US4 ,WE SPOKE 9 \R LANGUAGE EV5 IF WE C\LD SPEAK A LITTLE ,ITALIAN1 BUT IT WAS BETT] TO PRET5D WE DIDN'T UND]/&4 ,!Y TOLD US WE HAD TO GO TO ! POLICE HEADQU>T]S TO GET /AY P]MITS BUT WE KNEW ?AT WE W\LD BE GIV5 EXPULSION ORD]S4 ,= ?IS REASON WE DIDN'T GO \T & IT WASN'T EASY TO GET ON TOGE!R4 ,MY FRI5D :O WAS H]E BE=E ,I >RIV$ HAD REGUL> DOCUM5TS & HE WANT$ TO LEAVE ! H\SE1 :I* ( C\RSE WAS R5T$ 9 HIS NAME4 ,! SITUATION WAS V]Y DIFFICULT3 ,I C\LDN'T GO BACK TO ,ALG]IA OR SLEEP R\<4 ,I DIDN'T WANT TO ACCEPT ! FACT ( HAV+ TO SLEEP R\<2 IT WAS SOME?+ ,I HAD NEV] CONSID]$ 9 MY LIFE4 ,I MEAN SLEEP+ \TSIDE NOT BECAUSE Y\ DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY BUT BECAUSE Y\ DON'T EXI/1 DON'T HAVE DOCUM5TS & CAN'T GO TO A HOTEL4 ,NOBODY W\LD SAY3 Y\ CAN SLEEP AT MY PLACE TONI<T4 ,I DIDN'T WANT TO ACCEPT ?IS SITUATION4 ,SO ,I DECID$ TO CALL A FRI5D ( M9E :O IS N[ 9 ,AM]ICA BUT US$ TO LIVE 9 ,ITALY4 ,I TOLD HIM ,I WASN'T OK & HE GAVE ME ! NUMB] ( A FRI5D :O SPOKE ,FR5*4 ,I CALL$ HIM & F\ND \T ?AT HE WAS ,9DIAN1 M>RI$ TO AN ,ITALIAN WOMAN & HAD *ILDR54 ,I TOLD HIM ,I WAS LIV+ ) A FRI5D :O HAD TO LEAVE & ?AT ,I DIDN'T HAVE DOCUM5TS4 ,HE 9VIT$ ME TO GO & /AY ) HIM 9 HIS H\SE4 ,:5 ,I SPOKE TO HIM1 !RE WAS A FEMALE FRI5D ( HIS !RE4 ,EV5 IF ,I SPOKE POOR ,ITALIAN1 ,I UND]/OOD ?AT %E WAS TELL+ HIM HE W\LD BE F9$ OR RISK$ GO+ TO JAIL IF HE GAVE ME HOSPITALITY4 ,BUT HE SAID HE W\LD RISK GO+ TO PRISON TO HELP ME4 ,SO ,I MOV$ 9TO HIS HOME & LIV$ !RE = TWO MON?S4 ,HE EV5 TRI$ TO F9D A JOB = ME 9 ANO!R T[N BUT HE DIDN'T F9D ANY?+4 

,!N ! WORK SEASON 9 ! VILLAGE />T$ AGA9 & ,I DIDN'T WANT TO DI/URB !M FUR!R4 ,I WAS LIV+ ) A FAMILY & SOMETIMES !RE W]E >GUM5TS BETWE5 !M1 :I* IS NORMAL1 BUT ,I FELT UNCOM=TABLE EV5 IF MY FRI5D KEPT ON SAY+ !RE WAS NO PROBLEM4 ,I F\ND ANO!R BOSS :O C\LD GIVE ME ACCOMMODATION & ,I CAME BACK TO WORK 9 ! C\NTRYSIDE1 ESPECIALLY AS ,I DIDN'T HAVE ANY P]SPECTIVES !RE1 ,I C\LD ONLY WAIT4 ,BUT = :AT8 ,I HAD TO MOVE4 

,I MADE AN AGREEM5T ) MY NEW BOSS3 ,I W\LD BE PAID ONE MILLION LIRAS P] MON? & HE W\LDN'T DECL>E ,I WAS A WORK]4 ,( C\RSE NOBODY 9 ! VILLAGE1 9CLUD+ HIM1 KNEW ?AT ,I WAS CL&E/9E444 IT W\LD BE TR\BLE6 ,HE TOLD ME HE W\LDN'T DECL>E ,I WAS HIS WORK] 9 ORD] TO AVOID PAY+ A LOT ( TAX & ,I ACCEPT$ BECAUSE ,I HAD NO O!R *OICE4 ,I KNEW ?AT MY WAGE WAS A MIS]Y :5 COMP>$ ) ! WORK+ H\RS & 9 ADDITION ,I HAD NO 9SURANCE4 ,SO WE DECID$ ,I W\LDN'T WORK EV]Y DAY & W\LD /AY AT HOME :5 !RE WAS NOT MU* TO DO4 ,I WORK$ = HIM = #f MON?S SOMETIMES FROM #eAM TILL MIDNI<T1 & !N ,I DECID$ TO TAKE A #e-DAY HOLIDAY TO GO & SEE MY ,9DIAN FRI5D4 ,BUT ! BOSS WAS NOT HAPPY & CALL$ ME TO ASK ME TO COME BACK TO WORK4 ,I CAME BACK1 TALK$ ) HIM & DEF5D$ ! AGREEM5T WE HAD MADE4 ,EV]Y?+ SEEM$ TO BE OK2 ,I WORK$ = ANO!R TWO MON?S )\T /OPP+ & !N RESOLV$ TO HAVE A RE/4 ,?IS TIME HE ?REAT5$ HE W\LD SACK ME IF ,I DIDN'T TURN UP4 ,?AT W\LD BE A TRAG$Y = ME BUT ,I DIDN'T 9T5D TO ACCEPT HIS ?REAT4 ,I WANT$ HIM TO PAY ME #a1 LIRAS P] H\R BECAUSE ,I WAS ANGRY AB\T HIS ?REATS4 ,HE WAS SC>$ ?AT ,I W\LD D5\NCE HIM & VICE-V]SA4 ,9 ! 5D HE PAID ME NOT EXACTLY ! AM\NT ,I HAD ASK$ BUT NEI!R ! MIS]Y HE WANT$ TO GIVE ME4 ,SO ,I W5T AWAY4 ,I DID A FEW DAYS WORK H]E & !RE & SOMETIMES ,I /AY$ AT HOME4 ,!N ! 5D ( ! SEASON >RIV$ & SO DID A V]Y BAD TIME4 ,MEANTIME MY FRI5D :O HAD COME ) A /UD5T'S P]MIT GOT A /AY P]MIT = LEGAL REASONS4 ,HE LEFT ! VILLAGE & ,I WAS LEFT ALONE ) ! O!R FRI5D :OM ,I HAD >GU$ )4 ,!RE WAS NO?+ TO DO FROM ,OCTOB] UNTIL ,M>*1 JU/ SN[ \TSIDE & US QU>REL+ 9SIDE4 ,ONCE AGA9 HE SAID ?AT HE WANT$ TO LEAVE ! H\SE & ,I WAS LEFT ) NO *OICE BUT TO GET 9 T\* ) MY ,9DIAN FRI5D4 ,HE GAVE ME HOSPITALITY = ANO!R ?REE MON?S & TRI$ TO HELP ME F9D A JOB & A H\SE1 BUT IT WAS USELESS4 ,HE HAD TO GO TO ,9DIA = #b MON?S & ,I DIDN'T WANT TO /AY 9 HIS H\SE ) HIS WIFE & *ILDR54 ,I HAD NO?+ TO DO1 :I* WAS T]RIBLE & REALLY DE/ROY$ ME4 ,I'VE GOT A SI/] :O LIVES 9 ,FRANCE1 :]E %E IS REGUL>LY M>RI$4 ,MY FRI5D (F]$ TO TAKE ME TO H] & A FEMALE FRI5D ( HIS AGRE$ TO COME ) US4 ,WE LEFT ONE NI<T & TRI$ TO PASS ! BORD]1 :I* WAS NOT AT ALL EASY [+ TO ! CONTROLS4 ,WE TRI$ TO F9D A M\NTA9 PASS BUT IT WAS ,DECEMB]1 A REAL DISA/]4 ,WE HAD TO TURN BACK BUT MY FRI5D WAS DET]M9$ TO GO ?R\< CU/OMS4 ,HE WAS ALWAYS DRESS$ SM>T1 ) SUIT & TIE1 & WAS CONV9C$ WE'D MAKE IT4 ,ON ! CONTR>Y ,I WAS AB\T TO GIVE UP & TOLD HIM ,I WANT$ TO GO BACK TO ,ALG]IA4 ,9 ! 5D WE TRI$4 ,IT WAS T]RIBLY COLD1 IT WAS #aAM & !RE WAS NOBODY ON GU>D4 ,AS ! FRI5D :O WAS DRIV+ SAW ?AT !RE WAS NOBODY !RE1 %E ACCEL]AT$ & SOON ! GU>DS APPE>$4 ,%E DIDN'T KN[ %E HAD TO SL[ D[N & WAIT = !M TO CALL2 !Y ALREADY SAW US AS PEOPLE ON ! RUN4 ,!Y /OPP$ & QUE/ION$ US4 ,I GAVE !M ! DETAILS ( A FRI5D ( M9E :O HAD GOT A /AY P]MIT & ! GU>DS HAD CONFIRMATION FROM ! POLICE HEADQU>T]S4 ,!N !Y ACCUS$ MY FRI5D ( BE+ 9VOLV$ 9 SMUGGL+ ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS4 ,HE WAS (F5D$ & SAID HE WANT$ TO BE =MALLY D5\NC$ SO ?AT HE C\LD D5\NCE ! GU>DS4 ,9 ! 5D !Y LET US GO4 ,! ,FR5* CU/OMS WAS ONE HUNDR$ MET]S FUR!R ON4 ,MY FRI5D DECID$ TO GET \T ( ! C> & TALK TO ! GU>DS4 ,HE SAID WE W]E V]Y LATE & ?AT WE HAD ALREADY BE5 CONTROLL$ BY ! ,ITALIAN GU>DS1 & EV]Y?+ WAS ALL RI<T4 ,SO WE >RIV$ 9 ,FRANCE1 WE SLEPT 9 A HOTEL & ! MORN+ AFT] ,I W5T TO MY SI/]'S4 

,9 ,FRANCE ,I F\ND F> MORE PROBLEMS ?AN ,I HAD EXP]I5C$ 9 ,ITALY4 ,EV5 IF ,I KNEW ,I WAS ABLE TO MA9TA9 MYSELF ,I C\LD DO NO?+1 :I* MADE ME SUFF] ONCE AGA94 ,TO WANT TO DO SOME?+ BUT NOT BE ABLE TO IS A CONDITION ?AT LEADS Y\ TO MADNESS4 

,FROM A SITUATION ( SOLITUDE OR EV5 ( TR\BL$ RELATIONS ) ! PEOPLE Y\ WORK$ )1 Y\ >RIV$ AT A PLACE :]E Y\ W\LD C]TA9LY F9D MORE PEOPLE ( Y\R C\NTRY & ALSO Y\R RELATIVES4 ,:AT WAS ?IS EXP]I5CE LIKE1 :I* 9 A S5SE REM9D$ Y\ ( Y\R C\NTRY8 

,RELATIONS ) RELATIVES >E QUITE OBVI\S4 ,MY SI/] KNEW ,I WAS CL&E/9E & %E DIDN'T M9D4 ,! PROBLEM WAS 9 MYSELF4 ,9 ! MORN+ MY SI/] WOKE UP1 GOT H] *ILDR5 DRESS$ & W5T TO WORK4 ,H] HUSB& DID ! SAME :]EAS ,I /AY$ !RE DO+ NO?+4 ,?IS WAS NOT GOOD AT ALL4 ,MY RELATION%IP ) ! PEOPLE ( MY C\NTRY WAS QUITE P>TICUL> BECAUSE !RE WAS A BIG PROBLEM3 ,I ABSOLUTELY DIDN'T WANT MY P>5TS TO KN[ AB\T MY CONDITIONS4 ,I C\LDN'T COPE ) ! IDEA ?AT !Y KNEW H[ ,I LIV$4 ,SO ,I OBVI\SLY NEV] TOLD ANYONE H[ ?+S W]E GO+ & ?AT ,I WAS COMPELL$ TO CALL ON SOMEONE & ASK = A PLACE TO SLEEP4 ,! O!R ,ALG]IANS DIDN'T TELL ME AB\T !IR PROBLEMS EI!R1 SO \R RELATION%IP WAS QUITE SUP]FICIAL4 ,WE MET1 HAD A *AT & A DR9K TOGE!R & !N EV]YONE W5T BACK HOME4 

,I ALSO MADE MANY FRI5DS !RE :O W]E CL&E/9E & HAD EXACTLY ! SAME PROBLEMS AS ME4 ,!Y W]E IMMIGRANTS :O1 LIKE ME1 HAD EMIGRAT$ DUR+ ! SECOND WAVE ( MIGRATION1 9 ! ,N9ETIES1 TO ESCAPE T]RORISM4 ,A SPECIAL DECREE WAS ISSU$ BY ! ,FR5* GOV]NM5T = ALL !SE ,ALG]IANS1 :O W]E ?\S&S4 ,FR5* 9TELLECTUALS & A C]TA9 POLITICAL CLASS PU%$ ! GOV]NM5T 9TO ADOPT+ ?IS SOLUTION1 :I* IS A K9D ( ASYLUM SIMIL> TO POLITICAL ASYLUM4 ,IT ALL[S Y\ TO /AY 9 ! C\NTRY & WAIT BUT Y\ DON'T HAVE ! RI<T TO WORK1 ACTUALLY Y\ DON'T HAVE ANY RI<TS1 Y\ JU/ HAVE TO WAIT4 ,I /ILL KN[ PEOPLE :O HAVE BE5 WAIT+ = #d YE>S4 

,9 ! 5D #h MON?S PASS$ 9 ,FRANCE1 :]EAS ,I HAD PLANN$ TO SORT \T MY SITUATION 9 TWO MON?S4 ,!N ! ,NAPOLITANO DECREE WAS ISSU$ 9 ,ITALY1 A K9D ( AMNE/Y4 ,MY ,9DIAN FRI5D CALL$ ME ONE DAY & (F]$ TO HELP ME REGULATE MY SITUATION4 ,I WAS V]Y HAPPY BECAUSE ,I HAD WANT$ TO /OP LIV+ AS A CL&E/9E = MANY YE>S4 ,!RE WAS /ILL ! BORD] TO BE CROSS$ BUT ,I WAS ABLE TO MAKE IT ?ANKS TO HIM4 ,AS SOON AS ,I WAS BACK 9 ,ITALY ,I APPLI$ = DOCUM5TS & HAD TO WAIT AGES4 ,Y\ NE$ A JOB & ACCOMMODATION 9 ORD] TO GET A /AY P]MIT4 ,H[ CAN A P]SON )\T DOCUM5TS GET A T5ANCY AGREEM5T8 ,?AT'S ABSURD6 

,?ANKS TO MY ,9DIAN FRI5D1 AN ,EGYPTIAN SORT$ MY ACCOMMODATION PROBLEM \T4 ,AS = ! WORK CONTRACT1 MY FRI5D EMPLOY$ ME AS A MEMB] ( ! H\SEHOLD /AFF4 ,9 ! 5D HE MANAG$ TO PUT TOGE!R ! DOSSI] ?AT W\LD ALL[ ME TO MAKE A REQUE/ = A /AY P]MIT4 ,I HAD COME BACK FROM ,FRANCE 9 ,SEPTEMB] BUT ,I WAS NOT GIV5 ANY?+ UNTIL ,MAY4 ,I JU/ GOT A DOCUM5T /AT+ ?AT ,I WAS WAIT+ = A /AY P]MIT4 ,AT LEA/ ,I C\LDN'T BE >RE/$1 SO ,I />T$ MOV+ >\ND LOOK+ = SOME?+ TO DO4 ,I W5T TO A BIG T[N1 :I* WAS A GREAT *ANGE = ME1 AS ,I C\LD F9ALLY GET \T ( ! VILLAGE6 ,I F\ND A JOB GIV+ \T FLI]S1 BUT ,I /ILL HAD ! PROBLEM ( :]E TO SLEEP4 ,I WAS PAID #c1 LIRAS A DAY & HAD TO TRAVEL 9 ORD] TO REA* ! T[N :]E ,I WORK$4 ,! MO/ IMPORTANT ?+1 H[EV]1 WAS ?AT ,I C\LD MOVE1 & EV5 IF MY WAGES W]E NO?+ ,I HAD ! *ANCE TO KN[ ! T[N1 ITS PEOPLE & PLACES1 NOT ! MONUM5TS ( C\RSE4 ,! DOCUM5TS1 H[EV]1 DIDN'T >RIVE & AT A C]TA9 PO9T ,I FELT ,I WAS A BURD5 ON ! FAMILY ?AT GAVE ME HOSPITALITY1 & ,I SAID TO MYSELF ?AT ,I HAD TO GET ! ?+ SORT$ \T AS SOON AS POSSIBLE4 ,I HAD ALREADY CAUS$ A QU>REL BETWE5 HUSB& & WIFE AS ,I WAS /ILL 9 H] H\SE ALONG ) !IR *ILDR54 ,& IF ,I GOT A /AY P]MIT1 :AT W\LD *ANGE8 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT MY SITUATION WAS RELAT$ NOT ONLY TO A /AY P]MIT BUT ALSO TO ! DREAMS ,I WANT$ TO REALIZE4 

,= EXAMPLE1 ,I HAD ! *ANCE TO ATT5D A WELCOME C5T]1 :I* WAS SOME?+ ,I'D NEV] IMAG9$ 5C\NT]+ 9 ,EUROPE OR ANY:]E ELSE 9 MY LIFE4 ,I C\LDN'T IMAG9E ?AT !RE W]E PEOPLE COMPELL$ TO EXP]I5CE ! SITUATION ,I WAS 5DUR+ DAY AFT] DAY4 

,TO GO !RE & ASK = HOSPITALITY 9VOLV$ A TOTAL LACK ( DIGNITY = ME1 AS ,I'M 9 GOOD HEAL? &1 MO/ IMPORTANTLY1 MY FA!R SP5T MONEY TO ALL[ ME TO /UDY4 ,I F\ND IT UNACCEPTABLE TO BE 9 A SITUATION LIKE ?AT4 ,SO ,I W5T 9TO ! C5T] RUN BY ! *UR* 9 ! T[N SUBURBS1 :]E ,I SLEPT ) PEOPLE ( O!R COMMUNITIES1 ,ALBANIANS1 ,TUNISIANS1 ,MOROCCANS444 BUT MY /AY P]MIT /ILL DIDN'T >RIVE & !RE WAS ALSO A TIME LIMIT = /AY+ AT ! C5T]1 Y\ CAN'T /AY !RE = LONG & NE$ TO F9D ANO!R ONE AFT] A :ILE4 

,:AT K9D ( DOCUM5T DID Y\ HAVE TO BE ABLE TO MOVE >\ND :ILE WAIT+ = ! /AY P]MIT8 

,I HAD A RECEIPT :ILE WAIT+ = AN ANSW] TO MY REQUE/4 ,SO ,I /AY$ 9 ! C5T] ?AT'S RUN BY ! *UR* & KEPT ON WORK+ GIV+ \T FLI]S4 ,BUT ,I DIDN'T HAVE 5\< MONEY AS ,I GOT #c1 LIRAS P] DAY & SOMETIMES ,I ONLY WORK$ ONE TO ?REE DAYS A WEEK4 ,SO ,I DECID$ TO WORK 9 AGRICULTURE AGA94 ,I CALL$ SOMEONE 9 ! VILLAGE :]E ,I HAD ALREADY WORK$1 HE TOLD ME !RE WAS A VACANCY & ,I />T$ WORK+ 9 ! VILLAGE AGA9 :ILE /ILL SLEEP+ AT ! C5T]4 ,IT MEANT ?AT ,I HAD TO TRAVEL 7! VILLAGE WAS #f KILOMET]S FROM ! T[N71 WORK ALL DAY LONG & COME BACK AT #a#aPM4 ,I FELT IT WAS SOME?+ ,I HAD TO DO ESPECIALLY AS ,I C\LDN'T DO ?AT BE=E444 ,I MEAN1 ,I WAS AFRAID TO BUY A TICKET & TRAVEL BE=E4 

,F9ALLY ,I GOT A /AY P]MIT1 A YE> AFT] ,I APPLI$ = IT1 & ! FIR/ ?+ ,I DID WAS TO BUY A TICKET TO ,ALG]IA4 ,( C\RSE ,I DIDN'T HAVE ! MONEY1 9 FACT IT WAS MY ,9DIAN FRI5D :O PAID4 

,I ACT$ ?IS WAY BECAUSE ,I HAD ANO!R BIG PROBLEM3 MY GIRLFRI5D WAS 9 MY C\NTRY1 :I* MI<T SEEM NO?+1 BUT IT WASN'T BECAUSE %E WASN'T DO+ SO WELL 9 ,ALG]IA EI!R4 ,! MA9 DIFFICULTY WAS ?AT H] P>5TS KNEW AB\T \R 5GAGEM5T1 :I* WAS UNUSUAL 9 ?AT C\NTRY1 IT'S NOT LIKE H]E :]E Y\ CAN 9VITE Y\R FIANCEE HOME4 ,IT WAS LIKE A WORD ( HONOR444 & ,I C\LDN'T IGNORE IT ON ANY ACC\NT BECAUSE MY FA!R & A S]IES ( SOCIAL FACTORS W]E ALSO 9VOLV$4 ,WE HAVE BE5 TOGE!R = T5 YE>S & DUR+ ! ?REE YE>S ,I SP5T H]E ,I DIDN'T SEE H] AT ALL1 :I* WAS ANO!R CAUSE ( SUFF]+1 = BO? ME & MO/LY H]4 ,SO ,I B\<T ?AT TICKET & A WEEK LAT] ,I WAS 9 ,ALG]IA4 ,I SAW H] & MY FRI5DS AGA9 & /AY$ !RE = A MON? & A HALF4 ,ON MY WAY BACK TO ,ITALY ,I WOND]$ :]E ,I W\LD GO1 GIV5 ?AT ,I C\LDN'T GO BACK TO ?AT C5T]4 ,ONCE AGA9 IT WAS MY ,9DIAN FRI5D TO 9VITE ME TO HIS H\SE AS HE HAD TO GO TO ,9DIA & SAID ,I C\LD /AY ) HIS WIFE & *ILDR54 ,I W5T !RE UNTIL ,I SAID TO MYSELF3 ',/OP IT N[1 ,I'VE GOT A /AY P]MIT1 ,I W5T TO ,ALG]IA & SAW MY GIRLFRI5D & FRI5DS1 :AT AM ,I DO+ /ILL 9 ?IS H\SE8'4 ,MY ,9DIAN FRI5D SUGGE/$ ,I TAKE MY TIME AS IT WAS NOT AT ALL EASY BUT ,I C\LDN'T KEEP GO+ ON LIKE ?AT4 

,I 5ROLL$ 9 A C\NCIL C5T] & GOT A ROOM ) ANO!R SIX PEOPLE4 ,IT WAS A T]RIBLE EXP]I5CE ?AT DEEP5$ MY DISAPPO9TM5T 9 MY SE>* = FRE$OM4 ,= EXAMPLE ,I HAD NEV] IMAG9$ HAV+ TO EXP]I5CE ?+S SU* AS CONCEAL+ DR9K+ SOME W9E4 ,TO DR9K W9E IS A RISK 9 ,ALG]IA TOO1 BUT :Y WAS NOT ,I ALL[$ TO DR9K W9E 9 ,ITALY1 A ,EUROPEAN DEMOCRATIC C\NTRY8 ,9 ?AT C5T] DR9K+ W9E WAS =BIDD5 & ,I HAD ALSO TO LEAVE ! PLACE AT #gAM4 ,ANYONE :O GOES TO A PLACE LIKE ?AT IS =C$ TO DO SO BECAUSE !Y HAVE NO MONEY = R5T OR CANNOT R5T = O!R REASONS4 ,AT #gAM1 !RE=E1 EV5 9 W9T] :5 IT IS #a ,C BEL[ Z]O1 A WOMAN :O WORKS 9SIDE AS A GU>D TELLS ! PEOPLE TO GET \T4 ,AT #i4#cPM ALL ! LI<TS >E (F & Y\ HAVE TO SLEEP4 ,A T]RIBLE DISAPPO9TM5T TO ME1 HEAVY TREATM5T3 W9E CANNOT BE DRUNK BECAUSE ',MOROCCANS MAKE TR\BLE' & DISCIPL9E MU/ BE RESPECT$4 ,A REAL DISA/]6 ,AT ! AGE ( #c ,I HAVE TO BE TOLD :AT TO DO BECAUSE !Y WANT ME TO BE ! WAY !Y LIKE3 :AT RAGE1 :AT FRU/RATION444 

,!N AL?\< ,I HAD A /AY P]MIT ,I HAD TO WORK 9 AGRICULTURE AGA94 ,ACTUALLY ! /AY P]MIT DIDN'T *ANGE MY ECONOMIC SITUATION MU*4 ,I ALSO DID TEMPOR>Y WORK1 = EXAMPLE 9 FACTORIES1 :]E ,I WAS EV5 9JUR$4 ,AS ,I SAID BE=E1 ,I HAD NEV] IMAG9$ ?IS K9D ( SITUATION4 ,I /ILL HOP$ TO GET A JOB 9 ,ITALY :]E ,I C\LD USE MY DIPLOMA4 ,I WAS REALLY CONFID5T 9 MY SKILLS & ?AT ,I W\LD BE ABLE TO DO ?IS JOB 9 ,ITALY OR ELSE:]E1 ESPECIALLY AS SOME FRI5DS ( M9E :O HAD /UDI$ TELECOMMUNICATIONS1 LIKE ME1 HAD F\ND JOBS 9 ! FIELD4 ,! HOPE ( F9D+ ?IS K9D ( JOB KEPT ME GO+4 ,I DID H>D WORK 9 ! HOPE ( F9D+ SOME?+ ELSE LAT] & SO ,I ALSO DID TEMPOR>Y JOBS = #ae DAYS :ILE /AY+ AT ! WELCOME C5T]4 ,UN=TUNATELY ! TIME LIMIT = /AY+ 9 ! C5T] >RIV$ & ,I DIDN'T KN[ :AT TO DO4 ,IT WAS \T ( ! QUE/ION TO GO BACK TO MY ,9DIAN FRI5D4 ,SO A FRI5D ( M9E :O HAD ALSO F9I%$ HIS TIME 9 ! C5T]1 & ,I1 DECID$ TO R5T A H\SE4 ,ACTUALLY WE HAD NO O!R *OICE4 

,IT TOOK DAYS & NI<TS444 ,IF WE ANSW]$ SOME ADV]T DIRECTLY WE W]E D5I$ EV]Y?+ & IF WE ASK$ SOME ,ITALIAN FRI5D TO MAKE ! TELEPHONE CALL = US1 :5 WE >RIV$ ON ! SPOT WE W]E TOLD ?+S LIKE3 ',MY DAU<T] HAS R5T$ ! H\SE TO H] BOYFRI5D'1 ',MY HUSB& HAS ALREADY R5T$ ! H\SE'1 ALL EXCUSES NOT TO R5T A H\SE TO US4 ,! LA/ WEEK BE=E EXPULSION FROM ! C5T] A FEMALE ,MOROCCAN FRI5D F\ND A H\SE & %E KNEW ,I WAS LOOK+ = ONE TOO4 ,! L&LORD TOLD H] ?AT HE C\LD R5T ! H\SE = #c MILLION LIRAS BECAUSE HE HAD DONE SOME WORK ON IT & HE W\LD ALSO LEAVE A WA%+ MA*9E4 ,MY FRI5D SAID %E W\LD DECIDE ) H] HUSB&4 ,%E WAS NOT MY WIFE & ?IS WAS ONLY AN EXP$I5T = GETT+ ! H\SE4 ,!Y ?\<T WE W]E M>RI$4 ,:5 WE W5T TO SEE ! ADM9I/RATORS ( ! BUILD+1 MY FRI5D WORE A VEIL & ,I SAID %E C\LDN'T SPEAK ,ITALIAN4 ,WE WANT$ TO AVOID FALL+ 9TO CONTRADICTION IF !Y ASK$ US ANY QUE/IONS4 ,IT MI<T SEEM EASY1 LIKE A GAME1 BUT ! SITUATION WAS ACTUALLY V]Y S]I\S AS WE RISK$ 5D+ UP 9 ! /REET4 ,MY O!R FRI5D & ,I AGRE$ TO PAY #c MILLION LIRAS P] MON? BUT OBVI\SLY WE DIDN'T HAVE ! MONEY4 ,A FRI5D WORK+ 9 ANO!R T[N1 H[EV]1 S5T US SOME MONEY1 SO WE GAVE ! L&LORD #a1#g1 LIRAS PLUS ! MONEY = ! R5T & SETTL$ 9 ! ATTIC4 ,ONE WEEK LAT] MY FRI5D F\ND A JOB ) HIS DIPLOMA & HIS SITUATION IMPROV$ CONSID]ABLY4 ,FIFTE5 DAYS LAT] ,I F\ND A JOB 9 A BIG TELECOMMUNICATIONS COMPANY4 ,WE W\LD !RE=E APPLY = A LOAN1 :I* WE W\LD REPAY ) \R WORK4 

,N[ ,I HAD TO KEEP MY WORD ) MY GIRLFRI5D'S FA!R & M>RY H]4 ,AS !Y SAY 9 MY C\NTRY1 IF Y\ MAKE A PROMISE IT IS LIKE A GUN%OT ?AT GOES \T & CANNOT BE TAK5 BACK4 ,IT WAS ALSO A QUE/ION ( DIGNITY CONC]N+ MY FAMILY & H]S4 ,SO ,I W5T !RE & GOT M>RI$4 

,:5 ,I WAS 9 ,ALG]IA ,I GOT ! MONEY ?AT WE HAD BORR[$ FROM ! FRI5D :O HAD ALREADY HELP$ US TO PAY ! L&LORD3 F\R MILLION LIRAS1 :I* IS QUITE A L>GE AM\NT 9 ,ALG]IA IF Y\ CONSID] ?AT Y\ CANNOT E>N MORE ?AN #b1 LIRAS P] MON? !RE4 

,AS ,I CAME BACK TO ,ITALY AFT] GETT+ M>RI$1 ! /RUGGLE TO BR+ MY WIFE TO ,ITALY BEGAN & ) IT NEW FRU/RATIONS >RIV$4 ,9 FACT1 NEI!R MY /AY P]MIT NOR ! JOB ) MY DIPLOMA C\LD MAKE ME FEEL FREE4 ,I DIDN'T FEEL AS IF ,I HAD F\ND :AT ,I WAS LOOK+ =4 ,! PROBLEMS HAD SIMPLY *ANG$4 

,:AT >E ! ACTUAL DIFF]5CES & P]SPECTIVES 9 PASS+ FROM ILLEGAL TO LEGAL IMMIGRATION /ATUS8 

,AS Y\ WAIT = ! /AY P]MIT Y\ HAVE ! ILLUSION ?AT Y\R SITUATION WILL *ANGE1 BUT :5 Y\ GET IT NEW PROBLEMS & FRU/RATIONS COME AS WELL4 ,AT LEA/ Y\ HAVE HOPE :5 Y\ >E WAIT+ = ! /AY P]MIT4 

,9 ! 5D IT IS WORSE [+ TO ! NEW PROBLEMS ?AT Y\ HAVE TO FACE4 ,= EXAMPLE1 :5 Y\ HAVE A BABY 9 ,ITALY Y\ CAN GET MONEY = IT FROM ! C\NCIL4 ,BUT :5 MY DAU<T] WAS BORN WE W]E NOT GIV5 ANY?+ BECAUSE WE W]E =EIGN]S4 

,?AT IS NOT A M9OR PROBLEM COMP>$ ) ! ONES ,I HAD HAD TO FACE BE=E3 MY DAU<T] HAS BE5 DISCRIM9AT$ AGA9/ S9CE BIR?1 AS %E IS CONSID]$ 9F]IOR4 ,I'M DISGU/$ BY ! FACT ?AT %E ALSO HAS TO FACE PROBLEMS ?AT ONCE ONLY CONC]N$ ME4 ,& ,I CAN'T DO ANY?+ BECAUSE IT DOESN'T DEP5D ON ME4 ,IT IS EXACTLY ! SAME AS :5 ,I WAS CL&E/9E1 ?AT'S :Y ,I SAID ?AT ! FRU/RATION IS ! SAME4 ,:5 ,I WAS CL&E/9E ,I C\LDN'T DECIDE = MYSELF BUT HAD TO WAIT = O!RS TO DECIDE & GIVE ME DOCUM5TS4 ,EV5 IF ,I KNEW ,I HAD ! PHYSICAL & 9TELLECTUAL SKILLS TO IMPROVE MY SITUATION1 ,I C\LDN'T DO ANY?+ AB\T IT4 

,I'M EXP]I5C+ ! SAME PROBLEMS CONC]N+ MY DAU<T] EV5 AL?\< 9 A DIFF]5T WAY4 

,ANO!R PROBLEM IS ! ILLUSION ?AT Y\ CAN IMPROVE Y\R ECONOMIC SITUATION4 ,IT IS TRUE ?AT 9 ,ALG]IA ,I C\LDN'T EV5 AF=D TO BUY A %IRT & ?AT MADE ME ANGRY444 ,I WOKE UP AT #gAM1 CAME BACK HOME AT #gPM & ,I GOT A WAGE ?AT DIDN'T ALL[ ME TO AF=D ANY?+4 ,I FELT ! SAME ANG] :5 MY WIFE WAS PREGNANT & WE ASK$ ! ADM9I/RATORS = P]MISSION TO USE A LIFT 9 A P>T ( ! BUILD+ ?AT WAS CLOSE TO \R FLAT4 ,WE PREF]R$ TO PAY 9 ORD] = H] TO USE ! LIFT BUT ?IS WAS D5I$ US1 9 SPITE ( ! FACT ?AT WE REGUL>LY MADE WRITT5 REQUE/S4 ,H[ FUNNY3 :5 ,I SAID ?AT IF MY WIFE HAD ANY PROBLEMS !Y W\LD HAVE A WEI<T ON !IR CONSCI5CE !Y ANSW]$3 ',WE CAN'T HAVE WEI<TS ON \R CONSCI5CE BECAUSE WE >E CA?OLIC'4 ,! FACT ?AT MY WIFE HAD TO GO UP FIVE FLOORS :5 %E C\LD HAVE US$ A LIFT MADE ME SO ANGRY1 ESPECIALLY BECAUSE ,I C\LDN'T AF=D A H\SE ) A LIFT4 ,! PROBLEMS HAD *ANG$ BUT !Y DIDN'T LET ME SLEEP AT NI<T ALL ! SAME4 

,IF ONCE ,I WAS SC>$ ,I MI<T BE DISCOV]$ AS A CL&E/9E & FACE DEPORTATION1 MY FE>S D\BL$ AFT] ,I HAD PAP]S4 ,AS A CL&E/9E ,I HAD TO REPRESS MYSELF BECAUSE ,I C\LDN'T HAVE A PUBLIC LIFE OR REACT TO ! ABUSE 9FLICT$ ON ME [+ TO ! LACK ( PAP]S4 ,ACTUALLY ,I AM EV5 MORE CONTROLL$ N[ ?AT ,I HAVE PAP]S1 BO? 9 MY PUBLIC & PRIVATE LIFE4 ,I AM SURR\ND$ BY T]RIBLE FE>S4 ,NOBODY IS PO9T+ A GUN AT MY HEAD1 BUT !RE IS ?IS CLOSURE1 ?IS 9VISIBLE 5CIRCLEM5T ?AT IS ! FE> ( GO+ BACK TO ! BEG9N+ OR EV5 ( BE+ DEPORT$ TO ,ALG]IA AFT] 5DUR+ SO MU* SACRIFICE4 ,9 FACT ! /AY P]MIT IS NO?+2 IT IS JU/ A WAY = ! AU?ORITIES TO CONTROL Y\4 ,I FEEL ! SAME FE> ,I HAD :5 ,I LIV$ AS A CL&E/9E4 ,I ALSO REALIZE ?AT ,I WAS SAF] :5 ,I DIDN'T HAVE ANY DOCUM5TS BECAUSE ,ALG]IA DOESN'T ACCEPT PEOPLE )\T DOCUM5TS4 ,ON ! CONTR>Y !Y CAN DEPORT ME MORE EASILY N[ BECAUSE !Y HAVE MY PASSPORT & ,I AM MORE EXPOS$ TO DEPORTATION4 ,I DON'T NE$ TO KILL SOMEONE TO RISK ?IS1 BE+ SACK$ IS 5\<4 ,!RE IS ALSO /ILL FRU/RATION AT ! ECONOMIC LEVEL4 ,( C\RSE MY DAILY LIFE HAS *ANG$ = ! BETT] BECAUSE 9 ,ALG]IA AN ATTIC LIKE ?IS1 :]E Y\ CAN LIVE PEACEFULLY ) Y\R FAMILY1 IS 9CR$IBLY EXP5SIVE4 ,H]E ,I'VE GOT ! ATTIC BUT ! FACT ( NOT BE+ ABLE TO USE A LIFT PRODUCES ! SAME FRU/RATION4 ,IF ,I SAID SU* ?+S TO SOMEONE LIV+ 9 ,ALG]IA HE W\LD SAY ?AT ,I'M CRAZY1 BUT :5 Y\ FACE PROBLEMS LIKE !SE DIRECTLY !Y ACQUIRE A NEW DIM5SION4 ,COMP>$ ) LIV+ AS A CL&E/9E IT IS /ILL A QUE/ION ( SURVIV+4 ,Y\ >E NOT SAFE ) ! /AY P]MIT1 AS Y\ CAN'T GET 9VOLV$ 9 ANY POLITICAL PROJECTS ) O!RS4 ,IF ,I TAKE P>T 9 A DEMON/RATION1 BE !RE CLA%ES OR NOT1 ,I RISK D\BLE BECAUSE ,I'M AN IMMIGRANT4 ,& :AT IS ! RESULT8 ,WELL1 ,I CAN'T GO ON A DEMO EV5 IF ,I'D LIKE TO4 ,IT IS SU* A WA/E ( 5]GY NOT TO BE ABLE TO TAKE P>T 9 ANY ACTIONS1 BE IT A DEMO OR ANY?+ ELSE4 ,I WANT TO DO SOME?+ BUT ,I CAN'T BECAUSE ,I'M AN IMMIGRANT1 NOT BECAUSE ,I KILL$ SOMEONE OR ROBB$ A BANK1 BUT DUE TO ! M]E FACT ?AT ,I'M AN IMMIGRANT4 ,?IS IS ! BIGGE/ DISAPPO9TM5T = ?OSE :O >E LOOK+ = FRE$OM & HOPE TO IMPROVE !IR CONDITIONS & ?OSE ( !IR FAMILY4 

,LIV+ 9 CL&E/9ITY WAS A PASSAGE 9 ! CONDITIONS Y\ HAD TO FACE1 :]EAS BE+ AN IMMIGRANT1 ) ALL ?AT Y\ LEFT BEH9D 9 ! SE>* = FRE$OM & ! FULFILLM5T ( Y\R ASPIRATIONS1 IS SOME?+ ?AT NEV] 5DS & :I* Y\ CAN'T ESCAPE FROM4 ,IT IS A /ATUS ?AT PU%ES Y\ 9TO OV]COM+ ALL DIFFICULTIES & GO+ AHEAD TO F9D SOME IMPROVEM5T ?AT CAN CANCEL ! IMM$IATE FRU/RATION4 ,AL?\< Y\ KN[ ?AT Y\ MI<T FACE MORE FRU/RATION :5 Y\ F9D Y\RSELF FAC$ ) :ATEV] PROBLEM4 ,IT SEEM$ TO ME ?AT Y\R CONDITION AS AN IMMIGRANT1 MORE ?AN ?AT ( CL&E/9ITY1 AFFECTS Y\R LIFE DAY AFT] DAY & ! P]SPECTIVES AHEAD ( Y\4 ,BE+ AN IMMIGRANT AFFECTS EV]Y ASPECT ( Y\R LIFE1 ESPECIALLY AS Y\ DON'T *OOSE TO EMIGRATE BUT Y\ >E COMPELL$ TO4 ,:5 Y\ HAVE TO EMIGRATE Y\ ALWAYS HAVE ! HOPE ?AT Y\ WILL IMPROVE Y\R SITUATION1 BUT Y\ REALLY JU/ *ANGE Y\R PROBLEMS & FRU/RATION4 ,IF Y\ >E FRU/RAT$ BECAUSE Y\ CAN'T LIVE Y\R S5TIM5TAL LIFE OR BECAUSE Y\ DON'T EV5 HAVE WAT] TO DR9K Y\ CAN'T CALCULATE ! LEVEL ( Y\R FRU/RATION & SAY ?AT ?IS PROBLEM FRU/RATES Y\ MORE ?AN ! O!R4 ,IT IS EXACTLY ! SAME ?+4 

,Y\ LIVE AS A CL&E/9E 9 ! HOPE ?AT IT WILL COME TO AN 5D & Y\ FACE ?IS CONDITION )\T GO+ CRAZY BECAUSE Y\ HAVE ! HOPE ?AT IT WILL *ANGE4 ,:5 Y\ >E NO LONG] CL&E/9E Y\ REALIZE ?AT Y\R PROBLEMS >E /ILL !RE4 

,MAYBE ! ONLY WAY \T AS CONC]NS BE+ CL&E/9E IS NOT TO GET ID5TITY PAP]S1 :I* Y\ ?9K WILL HELP Y\1 BUT SIMPLY REALLY BE Y\RSELF & FOLL[ Y\R ASPIRATIONS )\T ! FRU/RATION ?AT HAS ALWAYS ACCOMPANI$ Y\4 

,A TRA9 9 ! NI<T 

,IT IS NOT RECOMM5D$ ?AT Y\ CAT* ! NI<T TRA9 = MANY REASONS4 ,BUT IF Y\ >E 9 A HURRY IT IS ! ONLY TRA9 ?AT ALL[S Y\ TO GO ?R\< ! :OLE C\NTRY 9 ONE NI<T4 ,IT IS ALWAYS FULL ( CL&E/9E PEOPLE TRY+ TO CROSS ! BORD]1 PEOPLE FULL ( HOPE & DESP]ATION LIKE ME4 

,I RESOLVE TO CAT* ?IS TRA9 BECAUSE O!RWISE ,I WILL BE OBLIG$ TO SP5D ! NI<T 9 ! COLD OR PAY = A HO/EL4 ,IT IS SOME?+ PA/ ONE AM :5 WE >RIVE AT 44 ,!RE >E FEW PEOPLE ON ! TRA9 TONI<T & WE >E ?REE OR F\R 9 ! COMP>TM5T4 ,AS USUAL1 TWO OR ?REE GR\PS ( Y\?S GET ON ! TRA9 & W&] AMONG ! SEATS1 CLE>LY ) %ADY 9T5T4 ,AS ,I KN[ ! R\TE QUITE WELL1 ,I KEEP MY RUCKSACK SAFELY BETWE5 MY LEGS1 :]EAS MY DOCUM5TS & MONEY >E NEXT TO MY BODY4 ,AS ,I LIVE 9 ! /REET ,I'M QUITE W>Y4 ,9 ?IS NO SMOK+ SECTION !RE IS ALSO AN OLD WOMAN ) P>CELS & SUITCASES WELL PLAC$ BETWE5 ! SEATS4 ,%E HAS ALSO NOTIC$ ! /RANGE MOVEM5TS4 ,AN H\R'S J\RNEY LAT] ,I REALIZE ?AT SOMEONE1 ONE ( ! KIDS1 SITS D[N BEH9D ME4 ,I'M HALF ASLEEP1 SO ,I WAKE UP & SEE ?AT ANO!R ONE IS SITT+ 9 FRONT ( ME4 ,I LOOK AT !M )\T SAY+ ANY?+4 ,! LI<TS >E (F BUT ,I CAN GUESS !Y >E LOOK+ AT ME TOO1 9 DEFIANCE4 ,!Y MU/ BE F\RTE5 OR FIFTE51 BUT !Y >E ALREADY ADULTS ) !IR %ORT HAIR1 !IR OLD] BRO!R'S TR\S]S & ORD9>Y JACKETS & %OES4 ,I SEE !M GETT+ UP & GO+ TO ! NEXT COA*4 ,I TAKE ADVANTAGE ( ! PASSAGE ( ! TICKET 9SPECTOR & GO TO ! TOILET TO HAVE A BIG SPLIFF ?AT MAKES ME QUITE /ON$4 ,IT IS V]Y GOOD GRASS & ,I HAVE TO PAY ATT5TION NOT TO LET ! SMOKE \T4 

',C[>DS'3 ! OLD WOMAN IS CURS+ ! SAME KIDS :O HAVE TRI$ TO ?REAT5 H]4 ',I'M 9 ! /REET TOO1 %IT6'4 ,%E LOOKS AT ME DISCONSOLATELY & ,I UND]/& ?AT %E DOESN'T TRU/ ME EI!R4 ,! FIR/ DAYLI<T BRI<T5S UP ! M\NTA9S F> AWAY4 ,EV5 IF !RE IS A LOT ( SN[1 IT IS GO+ TO BE A NICE DAY4 ,IT IS E>LY 9 ! MORN+ :5 WE >RIVE AT 444 ,A GR\P ( PUPILS GO+ ON HOLIDAY >E /&+ ON ! PLAT=M ) !IR BAGS4 ,! TRA9 />TS AGA92 A FEW MORE H\RS & ,I WILL BE ABLE TO GET \T & EAT SOME?+4 

,I HE> ! DOORS OP5 BEH9D ME1 & !N ,I SEE !M4 ,!RE >E ?REE ( !M ) HATS1 UNI=MS & ! BADGE ON ! JACKET4 ,:ILE ! FIR/ ASKS ! OLD WOMAN = H] DOCUM5TS1 ! O!R TWO PO9T TO ME4 ,!RE >E ?REE PASS5G]S 9 ! C>RIAGE1 & ?REE COPS4 ',GOOD MORN+1 PASSPORTS1' !Y SAY ) =C$ C\RTESY4 ,!Y HAVE JU/ />T$ !IR DAY'S WORK1 AS ,I CAN SMELL C(FEE & CIG>ETTES ON !IR BREA? :5 !Y TRANSMIT MY DETAILS TO ! POLICE HEADQU>T]S4 

,I'VE GOT AN UPSET /OMA*1 & SWEAT IS DRIPP+ FROM MY *E/ & >MPITS4 ,!Y />E AT ME = A FEW M9UTES1 ASK = MY DETAILS !N WAIT = A COMMUNICATION FROM ! HEADQU>T]S4 ,WE >E GO+ ?R\< AN >EA FULL ( TUNNELS & !RE >E DI/URBANCES4 ,I MU/ KEEP QUIET1 ,I SAY TO MYSELF :ILE LOOK+ AT ! L&SCAPE & TRY+ TO ABSORB ITS COLORS4 ,I CONC5TRATE ON ! H\SES MADE ( /ONE & !IR *>ACT]I/IC RO(S4 ,I AM ?9K+ ?IS IS ! LA/ TIME ,I WILL BE ABLE ABLE TO 5JOY A L&SCAPE4 

,I WOND] IF MY P>TN] WROTE TO ME & ,I ALSO WOND] H[ %E'LL KN[ ?AT ,I'VE BE5 CAPTUR$4 

,! Y\NGE/ COP IS NOT M>RI$1 :]EAS ! O!R TWO >E3 !Y HAVE WELL-IRON$ %IRTS4 ,!Y HAVE GIV5 A KISS TO !IR WIVES BE=E GO+ TO WORK4 ,!Y >E HUNT]S & ,I'M ! PREY4 ,:5 A GAZELLE FEELS ! LION'S TEE? S9K+ 9TO H] NECK %E AB&ONS ANY ATTEMPT AT RESI/ANCE4 ,I'M SUDD5LY WRAPP$ 9 A /RANGE CALMNESS4 ,I FEEL LIKE LAU<+ & SAY TO MYSELF3 ',AFT] ALL ,I KNEW ?IS MOM5T W\LD >RIVE SOON] OR LAT]1 IT WAS EV5 TOO GOOD BUT N[ ! DAY ( RECKON+ HAS COME'4 ,:]E WILL !Y TAKE ME8 ,IT IS ! FIR/ TIME S9CE ,I LEFT ?AT ,I HAVE BE5 SUBJECT$ TO SU* A CONTROL4 

,!Y OBVI\SLY HAVE PROBLEMS ( COMMUNICATION ) ! HEADQU>T]S4 ,! Y\NGE/ GIVES ME BACK MY DOCUM5T & APOLOGIZES4 ,I LOOK AT HIM AS ?\< ,I WANT$ TO SAY ?AT !Y KN[ :]E !Y CAN F9D ME & ?AT ,I'VE NO?+ TO HIDE4 ,AS !Y GO1 ,I GET UP TO RELAX & HAVE A CIG>ETTE 9 ! CORRIDOR4 ,I ASK MYSELF :E!R ,I %\LD SIT D[N OR TO GET (F AT ! NEXT /OP4 ,BUT ! R\TE IS /ILL LONG & ,I DON'T HAVE ANY *ANCE ( ESCAPE4 ,IF !Y GET AN ANSW] FROM ! HEADQU>T]S !Y WILL COME BACK TO ME4 ,I ?9K ( ! POSSIBILITIES ?AT >E LEFT OP5 TO ME3 PULL ! EM]G5CY BRAKE & JUMP \T ( ! TRA91 LOCK MYSELF 9 ! TOILET & DE/ROY ANY?+ COMPROMIS+ ?AT ,I HAVE ON ME4 

,! OLD WOMAN WAS LOOK+ AT ME SUSPICI\SLY :5 ! COPS W]E TRY+ TO ID5TIFY ME1 & SAW H[ N]V\S ,I WAS AFT]W>DS4 ,:5 WE >RIVE AT 441 ! OLD WOMAN GETS READY TO LEAVE ! TRA9 ) ALL H] LUGGAGE4 ,I (F] H] MY HELP BUT %E FIRMLY REFUSES1 :ILE ,I NOTICE ) GREAT RELIEF ?AT ! COPS >E GETT+ \T TOO4 ,I WILL BE AT ! BORD] 9 A FEW H\RS4 

,I RESOLVE NOT TO ?9K AB\T :AT TO DO NEXT2 ,I'VE GOT ! 5TIRE DAY TO DO ?AT4 

,!RE >E NO COPS AT ! /ATION BUT ,I PREF] TO TAKE A WALK4 ,I EAT A S&WI* & LOOK AT ! SEA & ITS WAVES 9 FRONT ( ME4 ,! WEA!R IS F9E H]E4 ,I 5JOY ! LA/ SPLIFF ,I HAVE4 ,IT TA/ES SO SWEET1 LIKE FRE$OM4 

,NOMAD = SOME?+ PRECI\S 

,I'VE (T5 HE>D ?AT PRISON IS A SETBACK = REVOLUTION>IES BECAUSE ?OSE :O >E REALLY CONV9C$ ( ! NE$ TO *ANGE ! EXI/5T RADICALLY & ACT CONSEQU5TLY1 WILL SOON] OR LAT] FACE 5D+ UP 9 JAIL4 ,9 FACT IT'S OBVI\S ?AT ! 5EMY REACTS BY %>P5+ ITS KNIVES :5 IT FACES A ?REAT TO ITS EXI/5CE1 EV5 IF ! LATT] IS A M]E POSSIBILITY4 ,PHONETAPP+1 FOLL[+1 9TIMIDATION & ANY O!R K9D ( ATT5TION ?AT ! REPRESSION CAN BR+ AB\T WILL BECOME MORE & MORE CONCRETE1 & ! CAGES ( CONTROL WILL SURR\ND US4 ,IF WE RECKON ?AT 'GETT+ ! SITUATION UND] CONTROL' IS NOT 5\< TO FACE ! 'EVIL'1 !N WE WILL HAVE TO PHYSICALLY SEP>ATE \RSELVES FROM ! SOCIAL CONTEXT & ! DANG] WE ?9K IT 9VOLVES4 

,I ?9K ?AT1 )\T FALL+ 9TO P>ANOIA1 ?IS CONSID]ATION MU/ BE ALWAYS TAK5 9TO ACC\NT BY ALL ?OSE :O DECIDE TO UND]TAKE ! MANY ROADS TO !IR FRE$OM & ?AT ( O!RS4 ,I'M CONV9C$ ?AT NO?+ C\LD BE WORSE ?AN F9D+ \RSELVES QUITE UNPREP>$ :5 FAC$ ) ! POSSIBLE CONSEQU5CES ( \R ACTIONS1 AS ?\< WE W]E PREY TO A DREAM ?AT SUDD5LY CRA%ES AGA9/ ! ?ICK CONCRETE WALLS ( REALITY LEAV+ US UNABLE TO REACT4 ,I DON'T MEAN ?AT IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE READY = EV]Y?+ ?AT MI<T HAPP5 TO US 9 ADVANCE2 BUT AT LEA/ WE HAVE TO ?9K ( HYPO!TICAL WAYS TO REACT TO C]TA9 SITUATIONS 9 ORD] TO KEEP ON CULTIVAT+ & >M+ \R DESIRES & PRACTICES4 

,I'M DEVELOP+ ?IS >GUM5T BECAUSE ,I HAD ALREADY ?\<T AB\T ! EV5TUALITY ( LIV+ 9 HID+ BE=E IT KNOCK$ ON MY DOOR4 ,( C\RSE ,I DIDN'T HAVE ANY PRECISE IDEAS AB\T IT BUT IT WAS 9 MY M9D AS A POSSIBILITY BETWE5 CONTROLL$ FRE$OM 7! ONE WE EXP]I5CE :5 WE >E NOT LOCK$ UP7 & RECLUSION4 ,I HAD CONSEQU5TLY PREP>$ MYSELF CONC]N+ :]E TO GO & H[ TO DO IT4 ,I'VE NEV] AGRE$ ) COMRADES :O CONSID] LIV+ 9 CL&E/9ITY AS ! WOR/ ?+ ?AT C\LD EV] HAPP5 TO Y\2 ON ! CONTR>Y ,I'VE ALWAYS 9/9CTIVELY P]CEIV$ IT AS A /ROKE ( LUCK & A *ANCE TO BE GRASP$ AT ONCE4 ,I'VE NEV] ?\<T ?AT ?IS *OICE IMPLI$ HID+ ONESELF SOME:]E & FEEL+ HUNT$ D[N & DEPRIV$ ( ALL DIGNITY OR ! WILL TO ACT4 ,& ,I'VE NEV] ?\<T ?AT RUNN+ AWAY MEANS ESCAP+ ONE'S RESPONSIBILITIES3 9 ?IS CASE IT WAS ! JUDICI>Y ?AT PRES5T$ ! BILL1 & ,I'VE NEV] DRAWN UP ANY CONTRACT ) !M4 ,ON ! CONTR>Y ,I ?9K FRE$OM IS SOME?+ PRECI\S ?AT IS WOR? DEF5D+ AT ANY PRICE4 

,I DIDN'T CONSID] LIV+ 9 HID+ AS SOME?+ Y\ DECIDE )\T TAK+ 9TO CONSID]ATION ! CONDITIONS ?AT GO ) IT4 ,! *ANCE TO PUT ?IS *OICE TO ! TE/ CAME TO ME AT A TIME :5 ,I EI!R HAD TO ACCEPT IT OR FACE ! B>S ( A PRISON4 ,AS = ! UNKN[N DIM5SION ( LIV+ 9 HID+1 AT FIR/ ,I ONLY KNEW ?AT IT W\LD ALL[ ME TO MOVE FREELY & LOOK AT ! SKY )\T SEE+ IT ?R\< ! CONT\RS ( ! PRISON B>S4 ,?IS ?\<T1 /R5G!N$ BY ! PRACTICAL ATT5TION ?AT ,I HAD D$ICAT$ TO IT 9 ! PA/1 WAS SUFFICI5T = ME TO DECIDE TO RUN AWAY4 

,IF ,I HAD TO SAY :AT LIV+ 9 HID+ IS LIKE 9 A FEW WORDS ,I W\LD SAY ?AT IT IS LIKE LEAV+ )\T KN[+ Y\R DE/9ATION1 = AN UNLIMIT$ AM\NT ( TIME & ) A ONE WAY TICKET4 ,IT IS !RE=E V]Y DIFF]5T FROM ! J\RNEYS WE >E US$ TO3 IT IS NOT A P>5!SIS BETWE5 BE=E & AFT] BUT IS A LIFE SP5T ON ! MOVE4 ,AS ,I'VE ALWAYS HAD A PASSION = NOMADIC WAYS ( LIFE TO SU* A PO9T ?AT ,I'VE ALWAYS ID5TIFI$ LIFE ) MOVEM5T1 ?AT DOESN'T SC>E ME4 ,DUR+ MY P]IOD 9 HID+ ,I'VE HAD ! *ANCE TO REFLECT ON ! DIFF]5T ATTITUDES & *>ACT]S ( HUMAN BE+S ACCORD+ TO !IR S$5T>Y OR NOMADIC WAYS4 ,:5 Y\ >E ON ! ROAD Y\ MEET TRAVEL]S LIKE Y\RSELF OR PEOPLE :O >E SETTL$ 9 A GIV5 PLACE4 ,I OBS]V$ ?AT C]TA9 FRI5DS ,I MADE W\LDN'T BE ABLE TO GO ON LIV+ IF !Y HAD TO LEAVE !IR HOMES4 ,?OSE :O DON'T LIKE TRAVEL+ 9EVITABLY BECOME CREATURES ( HABIT1 !IR DAYS >E SP5T 9 ! SAME FRAMEWORK & !Y E/ABLI% /RONG1 DEEP & P]MAN5T RELATION%IPS AS ONLY ?OSE ?AT GR[ ?R\<\T ! YE>S CAN BE4 ,!IR LIFE GOES ON 9 A SPECIFIC PLACE & !RE IT TAKES =M & CONT5T1 & IT W\LD LOSE ITS MEAN+ ANY:]E ELSE4 ,ON ! CONTR>Y1 ?OSE :OSE NATURE IS NOMADIC DO NOT FEEL TI$ TO ONE PLACE1 !Y ADAPT EASILY & IMM$IATELY FEEL1 FROM EXP]I5CE1 IF ! PLACE :]E !Y HAVE TEMPOR>ILY SETTL$ IS ALL RI<T = !M OR NOT4 ,!SE >E QUITE IMPORTANT ASPECTS = ?OSE :O >E COMPELL$ TO LIVE 9 HID+4 ,A CL&E/9E P]SON CANNOT ALL[ !MSELVES TO BE ID5TIFI$ & KN[S ?AT EV]Y:]E ONE GOES ONE MU/ MAKE ! DECISION TO LEAVE AGA9 )\T ANY K9D ( IMP$IM5T4 ,IT IS A DECISION ?AT HAS TO BE TAK5 \T ( ! BLUE BECAUSE ?+S C\LD GO WRONG \T ( ! BLUE AS WELL4 

,BUT LET'S COME BACK TO ! IDEA ( LEAV+ )\T =GETT+ ?AT ?IS K9D ( DEP>TURE IS AN IMPOSITION1 AS WE >E TALK+ AB\T ! CONDITION ( BE+ A 'B&IT'1 I4E4 SOMEONE :O CANNOT COME BACK4 ,:AT Y\ LEAVE :5 Y\ RUN AWAY IS A :OLE LIFE COMPOS$ ( FRI5D%IPS1 RELATION%IPS1 BELOV$ L&SCAPES1 FAMILI> S\NDS & SMELLS1 & ?+S ?AT Y\ C>E A LOT AB\T3 IT IS !RE=E EV]Y?+ ?AT CONTRIBUTES TO CREAT+ Y\R ID5TITY1 & ?AT'S NO SMALL ?+4 ,! NO/ALGIA = :AT Y\'VE LO/ CAN TURN 9TO A PA92 A CONT9U\S PA9 ?AT CAN BE SO DEEP & LAC]AT+ ?AT Y\ CANNOT ACCEPT ! PRES5T S]5ELY4 ,I FELT ?IS PA9 TOO1 SURE ,I DID1 BUT ,I'VE ALWAYS CIRCUMSCRIB$ IT & LIMIT$ IT 9 TIME4 ,& ,I GOT OV] IT 9 ! PLEASURE ( BE+ FREE & READY TO EXP]I5CE LIFE DAY BY DAY1 & ALL ?AT WAS GO+ TO HAPP54 ,AFT] ALL1 AS A P]SON 9 HID+1 Y\ C>RY )9 Y\RSELF ! S5SATION ?AT Y\ HAVE NO?+ MORE TO SEEK 9 Y\R PA/ & NO C]TA9TY CONC]N+ ! FUTURE4 ,ACCORD+ TO Y\R *>ACT]1 ?IS CAN EI!R ?R[ Y\ 9TO ABSOLUTE FRU/RATION OR MAKE Y\ FEEL DIZZY AT ! ?\<T ?AT Y\ >E TOTALLY FREE FROM ANY L9KS & ABLE TO BECOME ANYBODY OR NOBODY4 ,! *OICE IS UP TO Y\4 ,P>ADOXICALLY1 ,I (T5 ASK$ MYSELF1 :AT IF IT W]E PRECISELY ! CONDITION ( BE+ CL&E/9E ?AT IS ! DIM5SION ( ABSOLUTE FRE$OM4 

,TO CONCLUDE3 Y\ NE$ TO BE READY TO TRAVEL LI<T1 )\T Y\R PA/4 ,Y\ HAVE TO BE NEW & WE> ONLY Y\R 5?USIASM & ! PROMISE ?AT Y\ WILL NEV] LOOK BACK4 

,SO1 SOMEONE ON ! RUN >RIVES SOME:]E4 ,HIS OR H] FIR/ ?\<T IS TO CREATE ANO!R ID5TITY1 :I* DOESN'T ONLY MEAN 9V5T+ A NAME ) :I* TO 9TRODUCE ONESELF4 ,IT ALSO MEANS ?AT Y\ NE$ TO CREATE A CONCRETE1 PLAUSIBLE & LEGAL LIFE 9 ORD] TO BE ABLE TO MAKE RELATION%IPS & AVOID RAIS+ D\BTS AB\T Y\SELF4 ,Y\ MU/ !RE=E CREATE A PA/ ?AT CAN BE TALK$ AB\T & A VALID & CR$IBLE REASON = BE+ 9 ?AT PLACE2 Y\ ALSO NE$ TO RESPECT ! TIME & PACE ?AT ! LATT] REQUIRES & PAY ATT5TION TO Y\R LOOKS SO ?AT !Y CON=M TO Y\R NEW ID5TITY4 ,IT IS A REAL JOB ?AT REQUIRES A GOOD MEMORY1 TIME & 5]GY1 & ,I HAVE TO SAY ?AT IT IS NOT AT ALL EASY TO ACT A P>T & GET US$ TO ANSW]+ :5 Y\ >E CALL$ BY Y\R NEW NAME4 ,IT IS NOT EASY TO TALK AB\T Y\RSELF1 AB\T Y\R LIFE & 9T]E/S1 ESPECIALLY :5 Y\ HAD ALWAYS DONE ?AT1 AS ,I US$ TO1 ) Y\R COMRADES & DIDN'T NE$ TO GIVE MANY EXPLANATIONS1 MAYBE DO+ WRONG SOMETIMES4 ,IT IS SAD TO PASS = A COLLECTIONI/ ( DREAMS :5 Y\R GREATE/ PASSION IS TO SUBV]T ! EXI/5T & /RUGGLE OP5LY AGA9/ AU?ORITY & 9JU/ICE444 

,SO ONCE Y\ HAVE GOT OV] D\BTS & SUSPICION AB\T Y\R 9T]LOCUTOR1 Y\ F9D Y\RSELF TALK+ AB\T Y\RSELF BY MIX+ TRU? & LIES1 REAL MEMORIES ) IMAG9ATION2 & Y\ HAVE TO BE> 9 M9D ?AT Y\ MU/ REMEMB] :AT Y\ HAVE SAID & ?AT IT HAS TO FIT 9 ) Y\R NEW P]SONALITY & ID5TITY4 ,Y\ MU/ CON/ANTLY WEI< UP Y\R WORDS & COMM5TS & ALWAYS HIDE ! REACTIONS ?AT Y\ NORMALLY HAVE :5 Y\ SEE C]TA9 ?+S OR HE> C]TA9 K9DS ( NEWS4 ,9 O!R WORDS1 Y\ HAVE TO BE EXTREMELY LUCID ALL ! TIME & CON/ANTLY KEEP ! BALANCE BETWE5 :O Y\ >E & H[ Y\ >E PRES5T+ Y\RSELF4 ,I (T5 F\ND MYSELF 9VOLV$ 9 CONV]SATIONS ?AT LEFT ME EXHAU/$ FROM ! HUGE EF=T ,I HAD TO MAKE TO KEEP CONC5TRAT+4 ,9 FACT1 NO MATT] :AT DISCUSSION Y\ GET 9TO1 IT WILL ALWAYS REVEAL A P>T ( Y\ & Y\R WAY ( BEHAV+ ) O!RS4 ,MOREOV] :5 Y\ MEET SOMEONE P>TICUL>LY 9T]E/+ & Y\R RELATION%IP ) HIM_/H] GR[S ?R\< TIME1 IT WILL BE DIFFICULT TO MANAGE AS Y\ WILL F9D IT H>D TO KEEP ON PLAY+ Y\R P>T & AVOID BE+ DISCOV]$4 ,OBVI\SLY Y\ MI<T FEEL QUITE UNCOM=TABLE AT SOME PO9T1 AS Y\ KN[ ?AT Y\ >E DECEIV+ ! P]SON Y\ >E DEAL+ ) & ?AT ! LATT] WILL NEV] KN[ Y\ = :AT Y\ REALLY >E4 ,!N Y\ WILL FEEL N]V\S BECAUSE EV5 A SIMPLE 9VITATION TO D9N] MI<T PUT Y\R FRI5D 9 S]I\S TR\BLE4 

,ON ! CONTR>Y1 TO SORT \T ! PROBLEM ( ID5TITY ) ! CU/ODIANS ( ORD] IS MU* EASI]4 ,= ! LATT] ! QUE/ION IS JU/ A MATT] ( LOOKS3 Y\ ONLY NE$ TO BECOME ONE ( ! MANY1 NO?+ MORE OR LESS1 AVOID GO+ >\ND DUR+ 'UNUSUAL' H\RS & ATT5D+ SUSPICI\S PLACES1 ESPECIALLY REGUL>LY4 

,IT IS AN EF=T ( CONC5TRATION1 AS ,I WAS SAY+ BE=E1 IT REQUIRES A /ATE ( LUCIDITY ?AT MU/ BE HELD = LONG P]IODS4 ,IT IS PRECISELY ABSOLUTE ATT5TION ?AT Y\ NE$ 9 ORD] TO AVOID 5]VAT+ P>ANOIA1 5DLESS D\BTS & G5]AL /RESS4 ,Y\ CAN TRU/ NO?+ O!R ?AN Y\R [N ATT5TION TO MAKE SURE ?AT EV]Y?+ IS OKAY & ! SITUATION IS UND] CONTROL4 ,Y\ ALSO NE$ TO LOOK TO Y\R SAFETY & MAKE SURE Y\ >E ALWAYS FREE4 

,IF Y\ >E A P]SON 9 HID+1 A NORMAL EV5T MI<T APPE> SUSPICI\S TO Y\R EYES2 & IT IS TRUE ?AT ! MORE Y\ LOOK AT PEOPLE ) SUSPICION & 9SI/5CE ! MORE Y\ CAT* !IR ATT5TION4 ,SUDD5LY IT CAN SEEM ?AT EV]YBODY IS LOOK+ AT Y\ OR ?AT SOMEONE IS FOLL[+ Y\4 ,!N PANIC MI<T COME1 & ?AT IS ALWAYS DIFFICULT TO COPE )4 ,! ONLY WAY TO GET OV] ?IS %OCK+ /ATE ( M9D1 & Y\ MU/ KN[ ?IS V]Y WELL1 IS BY KEEP+ Y\R M9D & N]VES COOL1 %>P5+ Y\R S5SES & D\BL+ Y\R ATT5TION4 ,BESIDES ?IS1 H[EV]1 IT IS RECOMM5D$ ?AT Y\ KEEP Y\R EYES WIDE OP5 TO :AT IS HAPP5+ >\ND Y\4 ,Y\ HAVE TO LE>N TO RECOGNIZE FACES1 P>TICUL>LY ! FEATURES ( ! PEOPLE >\ND Y\1 9 ONE SECOND FLAT1 TO DEVELOP A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY ?AT ALL[S Y\ TO RECOGNIZE !M AT ONCE & SO BE ABLE TO SPOT A NEW FACE ?AT MI<T APPE> 9 ! USUAL 5VIRONM5T IMM$IATELY4 ,A CL&E/9E P]SON LOOKS AT ! PRES5T ?R\< DIFF]5T EYES TO ?OSE ( PEOPLE :O >E NOT 9 HIS_/H] CONDITION AS HE_/%E SEES & FIXES HIS_/H] ATT5TION ON DETAILS ?AT ESCAPE ?OSE :O >E NOT CL&E/9E4 ,ONE DAY1 AS ,I W5T 9TO ! SQU>E ( A BIG T[N1 ,I NOTIC$ TWO POLICEM5 9 PLA9 CLO!S ASK+ A PASS]BY = HIS DOCUM5TS 9 A V]Y DISCREET MANN]1 ALMO/ HID+ UND] AN >CADE4 ,! SQU>E WAS CRAMM$ ) PEOPLE & ,I REALIZ$ ?AT NO ONE WAS AW>E ( :AT WAS GO+ ON1 NOT EV5 ?OSE :O W]E /ROLL+ A FEW /EPS AHEAD3 ,I WAS ! ONLY ONE :O SAW ?AT IT WAS A POLICE ID5TIFICATION & ?AT !RE W]E TWO COPS /&+ !RE4 

,AS IT IS H>D TO KEEP ?IS K9D ( T5SION = LONG1 Y\ NE$ TO HAVE A PLACE :]E Y\ CAN GO TO RELAX4 ,! MO/ IMPORTANT PLACE IS UND\BT$LY ?AT :]E Y\ SP5D ! NI<T4 ,Y\ MU/ BE SURE ?AT NO ONE CAN COME & F9D Y\ !RE & ?AT Y\ REALLY >E ALONE ONCE Y\ CLOSE ! DOOR BEH9D Y\4 ,!N Y\ F9D Y\RSELF ) Y\R BOOKS1 Y\R COMM5TS1 Y\R PROPOSALS1 & FREE FROM Y\R NEW ID5TITY4 

,IT IS BE/ ?AT ! PEOPLE Y\ MEET NEV] KN[ ! EXACT LOCATION ( ! PLACE :]E Y\ LIVE4 ,Y\R PHOTOS MI<T APPE> 9 ! NEWSPAP]S NEXT DAY1 & ANYWAY ! MORE PEOPLE KN[ :]E Y\ LIVE1 ! LESS Y\ WILL FEEL SAFE 9 ?AT H\SE4 

,IF Y\ HAVE ! IMPRESSION ?AT SOMEONE SUSPICI\S MI<T HAVE FOLL[$ Y\ & ?AT Y\R PLACE IS NO LONG] SAFE1 Y\ WILL NEV] BE AT PEACE UNTIL Y\ LEAVE IT4 ,9 ORD] TO KEEP Y\R PLACE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE Y\ %\LDN'T DO Y\R %OPP+ OR ATT5D B>S & PUBLIC PLACES 9 ! SURR\ND+ >EA 7SOON] OR LAT] SOMEONE Y\ KN[ WILL SEE Y\ GO+ 9TO Y\R H\SE74 ,ON ! CONTR>Y1 IF Y\ GO TO PLACES F> FROM Y\R H\SE & SOMEONE RECOGNIZES Y\1 Y\ WILL HAVE TIME TO GO BACK HOME1 PACK Y\R ?+S & LEAVE4 ,PACK+ IS ! ACTIVITY ,I'VE UND]TAK5 MO/ 9 CL&E/9ITY1 AS :AT Y\ ALWAYS NE$ TO A*IEVE IS ! C]TA9TY ?AT Y\ >E ! ONLY ONE :O KN[S Y\R SECRET4 ,?IS AW>5ESS WILL GIVE Y\ ! S]5ITY TO 5GAGE 9 ANY 9ITIATIVE :ATSOEV]4 

,IF Y\ US$ TO HAVE ! IMPRESSION ?AT Y\ NEV] HAD 5\< TIME TO CULTIVATE Y\R 9T]E/S1 :5 Y\ >E CL&E/9E TIME IS ! ONLY ?+ Y\ WON'T BE %ORT (4 ,IT IS IMPORTANT1 H[EV]1 ?AT Y\ LE>N TO CONSID] ! TIM+ & PLACES ( Y\R 9T]V5TIONS 9 A DIFF]5T WAY 9 ORD] TO AVOID FRU/RATION4 ,I'M SAY+ ?IS BECAUSE :5 ,I *OSE A SPECIFIC >EA ( 9T]V5TION1 & DECID$ TO ACT PROMPTLY & QUICKLY 9 EV5TS CONC]N+ IT1 ,I (T5 EXP]I5C$ A S5SE ( IMPOT5CE4 ,9 FACT1 IF Y\ >E LIV+ 9 HID+ NEWS FROM Y\R [N C\NTRY & COMRADES MI<T REA* Y\ ) MON?S ( DELAY1 :5 IT IS TOO LATE TO DO ANY?+4 ,FUR!RMORE1 :5 IT COMES TO MOV+ AWAY FROM SOME:]E Y\ NE$ TIME = GA!R+ 9=MATION AB\T R\TES & MEANS ( TRANSPORT444 Y\ CAN'T JU/ DO ?+S AT R&OM4 ,I DON'T MEAN ?AT Y\ HAVE TO =GET :]E Y\'RE FROM1 :AT Y\ HAVE TO DO IS TO LOOK AT IT 9 A DIFF]5T WAY1 BY PLANN+ LONG T]M PROJECTS & PAY+ ATT5TION TO ! DETAILS ?AT Y\ DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO DO 9 Y\R PREVI\S LIFE1 EV5 IF Y\ KNEW !Y W]E IMPORTANT4 ,CONSID] ?AT AS A P]SON 9 HID+ Y\ HAVE ! *ANCE TO 9T]V5E RAPIDLY 9 SITUATIONS ?AT Y\ DIDN'T EV5 KN[ AB\T BE=E4 ,I REALIZ$ H[ DEEP-ROOT$ MY IDEA ( BORD]S BETWE5 ,/ATES WAS BE=E & H[ LITTLE ATT5TION ,I HAD PAID TO :AT HAPP5$ 'BEYOND ! BORD]S'1 AS ,I WAS ALSO BUSY 9 ! MANY ACTIVITIES ?AT LIFE (F]S4 

,:5 Y\ *ANGE Y\R P]CEPTION ( TIME1 Y\ ALSO *ANGE ! WAY Y\ ACT4 ,IF Y\ D$ICATE H\RS TO A PROJECT & GET TO KN[ ALL ! DETAILS 9VOLV$1 !N REALIZE IT1 ! TIME Y\ SP5T 9 PLANN+ IT COMES BACK TO Y\ & GIVES MORE SIGNIFICANCE TO EV]Y M9UTE4 ,Y\R S5SATIONS >E AMPLIFI$ BY ! TOTAL T5SION ( Y\R :OLE BE+ 9 :AT Y\ >E DO+4 ,IT IS A LUCID AW>5ESS ?AT KEEPS Y\ AWAY FROM ! DI/RACT+ BUS9ESS ( ! PEOPLE >\ND Y\ AT ?AT TIME4 

,I HAVE REA*$ ! TORR5T AFT] H\RS SP5T 9 A TRA91 !N WALK+4 ,IT IS HOT & ,I CAN FEEL MY %IRT WET ) SWEAT UND] MY RUCKSACK4 

,NO ONE FOLL[$ MY /EPS ALONG ! ROAD & ?R\< ?IS LITTLE VALLEY1 :I* MEANS ?AT /ILL NOBODY KN[S :O ,I AM1 :]E ,I AM GO+ OR :AT ,I AM DO+4 

,I WALK ALONG BY ! RIV]1 LOOK+ = A SPOT :]E ,I CAN /OP & FREE MYSELF FROM ! WEI<T ON MY BACK & RELAX4 ,I SOON GET ! *ANCE3 !RE IS A L>GE1 CLE> POOL ( WAT] SURR\ND$ BY /ONES & A LITTLE FUR!R ON !RE IS SOME %ADE UND] A FEW TREES4 ,?IS IS ! PLACE4 

,I GET RID ( MY RUCKSACK & SOON MY LUNGS FILL ) AIR2 ,I TAKE A C\PLE ( DEEP BREA?S & AM FULL ( 5]GY ONCE AGA94 ,I HAVE A QUICK LOOK >\ND & ,I REALIZE ?AT ,I REALLY AM ALONE4 

,I GET 9TO ! WAT]1 /EP BY /EP1 )\T HESITAT+1 & REA* ! MIDDLE ( ! POOL4 ,I PLUNGE 9 & AB&ON MYSELF TO ?IS EMBRACE ) MY FACE PO9T+ TO ! SKY4 ,I AM 5VELOP$ 9 A /RONG S5SATION ( FRE$OM3 AT ! SAME TIME ,I FEEL ,I AM P>T ( ! TOTALITY & FREE FROM ANY TIES4 

,SOON MY ?\<TS GO TO ?OSE LOCK$ UP 9 JAIL :O CAN'T 5JOY ANY ( ?IS4 

,( C\RSE IT IS H>D = ME1 BUT NO?+ WILL MAKE ME TURN BACK4 ,MOM5TS LIKE ?IS & ! S5SATIONS !Y FILL ME ) >E SUFFICI5T TO =GET ANY TIR$NESS1 !Y >E ! OXYG5 ?AT KEEPS ME GO+4 ,I TRY TO FIX ?IS MOM5T 9SIDE MYSELF1 MY CLOS$ EYES TURN$ T[>DS ! SUN3 

,N[1 9 :ATEV] P>T ( ! WORLD1 ,I AM FREE4 

,! MAN AT ! W9D[ 

,I LIV$ 9 A LITTLE T[N = MANY YE>S2 A NORMAL LIFE1 AS !Y SAY4 ,S*OOL1 A JOB & A LOT ( TIME TO D$ICATE TO MYSELF1 MY 9T]E/S1 MY PASSIONS & 5JOYM5TS4 

,I SAW ! WORLD ?R\< A W9D[1 LIKE A FILM FULL ( IMAGES1 SOME SAD1 O!RS JOYFUL1 )\T IT MAK+ TOO MU* IMPRESSION ON ME AS ?\< :AT WAS HAPP5+ >\ND ME WAS JU/ ! 9EVITABLE SC5>IO ( LIFE GO+ BY4 

,FROM MY W9D[ ,I LOOK$ AT O!R PEOPLE'S LIVES & SAW !M AS ?\< !Y W]E A FRAME >\ND M9E4 ,LET'S SAY ,I WAS TOO BUSY LIV+ MY LIFE TO BO!R AB\T ?AT ( O!RS4 

,BUT ,I REALIZ$ SOME?+ WAS WRONG & ?AT IS :Y ,I WAS NOT 9DIFF]5T :5 SOME PROTE/]S PASS$ UND] MY W9D[ OR :5 SOME EV5T 9 MY LITTLE T[N DI/URB$ ! MONOTONY ( MY DAYS4 ,MOREOV]1 ?IS CURIOSITY & ! ATTRACTION ?AT ,I FELT T[>DS ?OSE :O WANT$ TO *ANGE ! SC5]Y ( EV]YDAY LIFE PU%$ ME 9TO LOOK+ = !SE PEOPLE1 LI/5+ TO !M & %>+ EXP]I5CES ) !M4 

,9 ! 5D ,I REALIZ$ ?AT ,I MU/ DO SOME?+ TO PREV5T ! WRET*$NESS ,I OBS]V$ FROM MY W9D[ FROM 5T]+ MY LIFE IRREM$IABLY4 ,SO ,I 5GAG$ MYSELF ALONG ) ?OSE ,I HAD MET1 SO ?AT ! SC5]Y >\ND US BECAME AN ADV5TURE WOR? LIV+ TOGE!R )\T LAWS1 PRIVILEGE & PRIVILEG$ PEOPLE4 

,I />T$ DEAL+ ) ALL K9DS ( PROBLEM & SUBJECTS ALONG ) ! O!RS1 :O W]E C]TA9LY ONLY A FEW COMP>$ TO ! POPULATION ( MY T[N4 ,& WE TRI$ TO F9D CONCRETE SOLUTIONS ?AT ]UPT$ 9TO DAILY LIFE ALONG ) \R DISCUSSIONS & PROPOSALS4 ,WE GA!R$ & SPREAD 9=MATION MA9LY CONC]N+ ! MO/ HIDD5 & SLIE/ ASPECTS UPON :I* ! COLLECTIVE WRET*$NESS IMPOS$ ON US WAS BAS$3 WE DEMON/RAT$ 9 ! /REETS & CLA%$ ) ?OSE :O WANT$ TO PREV5T US FROM DO+ SO1 WE TRI$ TO OPPOSE ANY K9D ( ABUSE1 OR AT LEA/ WE MADE IT CLE> ?AT NOT EV]YBODY W\LD PASSIVELY ACCEPT :AT P[] WANT$ TO IMPOSE4 

,WE HAD V]Y MODE/ MEANS P]HAPS1 BUT WE W]E >M$ ) \R T5ACI\S DESIRES & ! FIRM CONVICTION ?AT SOME?+1 EV5 IF ONLY 9 \R LITTLE T[N1 W\LD NEV] BE AS BE=E OR AS AU?ORITY HAD PLANN$4 ,WE %>$ 5?USIASM1 IDEAS & PRACTICES = QUITE A LONG TIME1 :I* ALSO GAVE ME ! POSSIBILITY TO WID5 MY HORIZONS F> BEYOND ! LIMITS ( MY LITTLE T[N & TO MEET PEOPLE & SITUATIONS SIMIL> TO ?OSE ,I WAS EXP]I5C+4 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT BIG EXP]I5CES >E NO MORE ?AN ! SUM ( ! LITTLE EV]YDAY ONES3 LITTLE REBELLIONS GA9 /R5G? & C\RAGE FROM ! BIGG] ONES & GIVE CONSI/5CY1 CONCRET5ESS & REALITY TO ! LATT]4 

,!N1 /EP BY /EP1 ! MOSAIC />T$ TO FALL AP>T & WE BEGAN TO TAKE A DI/ANCE FROM ONE ANO!R4 ,SOME ALSO TOOK A DI/ANCE FROM !MSELVES1 AS !Y W]E ANXI\S TO F9D A DEC5T PLACE 9 ! WORLD1 :I* 9 SPITE ( \R EF=TS WAS NOT *ANG+4 

,! SITUATION WAS COLLAPS+ ALL >\ND US3 ON ! ONE H& !RE WAS ! MO/ DET]M9$ OPPOSITION TO \R DEM&S1 ON ! O!R !RE WAS AN UNSCRUPUL\S USE ( \R ACTIONS & IDEAS ?AT W]E N[ BE+ US$ TO R5EW ! WRET*$NESS1 TO P]FECT & REPRODUCE IT = FUTURE G5]ATIONS4 ,WE W]E (F]$ ! OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY AN ACTIVE ROLE 9 ?IS PROCESS ( DEVELOP+ ! EXI/5T1 I4E4 ! MOD]ATE VOICE ( DISS5T1 & NOT A FEW ( US ACCEPT$ IT4 ,( C\RSE !Y W]E NOT ! FIR/ TO GO OV] 'TO ! O!R SIDE' NOR W]E !Y ! LA/4 ,IT IS WELL KN[N ?AT P[] & ! CRUMBS IT CAN DI/RIBUTE >E ATTRACTIVE TO ?OSE WILL+ TO CLIMB ! LADD] ( SUCCESS OR :O SIMPLY NEV] REALLY BELIEV$ 9 ! DREAMS !Y US$ TO BOA/ AB\T4 

,WE REMA9$ V]Y FEW1 ! /RONG & PURE ONES4 ,9 ! LONG RUN WE W]E NOT SO /RONG1 & WE W]E NO LONG] PURE4 ,ON ! CONTR>Y WE W]E DIRTY444 ) IMPOT5CE1 REGRET1 ! LACK ( HORIZONS TO EXHIL>ATE US444 DIRTY ) SAD & BAD DR9K+ & ) HUMAN MIS]IES GREAT & SMALL4 ,SOMEONE'S BODY & BRA9 W5T (F ) ! HELP ( PSY*OACTIVE MIXTURES1 BE=E !Y FELL 9TO ! ABYSS ( D\BT & DESP]ATION F> FROM ! ?RILL ( FRE$OM ?AT ONCE T\*$ !M4 ,= ! FEW :O REMA9$1 ! TE*NIQUES ( DISSUASION EMPLOY$ BY ! GU>DIANS ( ORD] LO/ BO? ! =MALITIES ( ! LAW & ! TRICKS ( ! CULTURAL-DEMOCRATIC PUPPET-!AT]4 ,AS LONG AS JUV5ILE EXUB]ANCE WAS RECUP]AT$ & RECYCL$ 9TO QUIET] SPH]ES ( OP9ION1 ?OSE :O W]E /ILL ON ! ROAD ( REBELLION W]E SIMPLY SE5 AS A QUE/ION ( PUBLIC SAFETY1 A ?REAT TO ! TRANQUILITY ( ! LITTLE T[N4 ,GREAT] P[] WAS !RE=E GIV5 TO ! REPRESSORS 9 ORD] TO P]SECUTE !M4 

,:AT WAS LEFT ( \R HOPES & PROJECTS ?AT WE ?\<T W\LD ILLUM9ATE ! FUTURE8 

,I C\LD HAVE GONE BACK TO MY W9D[1 WAIT+ = UN=ESE5 EV5TS TO *ANGE ! SITUATION4 ,BUT SOME?+ /ILL /IRR$ \T !RE1 & IT WAS WOR? MOV+1 EV5 CLOSE TO MY T[N1 TO TRY TO OP5 UP A GLIMM] ( HOPE 9 ! D>KNESS ?AT WAS 5VELOP+ ME DAY AFT] DAY4 

,SO ,I W5T AWAY 9 SE>* ( ! 5?USIASM & 5GAGEM5T ?AT W]E SADLY DISAPPE>+ >\ND ME4 ,9 ! LONG RUN1 H[EV]1 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT MY EXPECTATIONS CONC]N+ ! DE/RUCTION ( ! EXI/5T W]E NOT FELT ) ! SAME PASSION BY ?OSE >\ND ME4 ,MANY ( !M W]E HAPPY ) A FEW WORDS1 ) !IR SPH]E ( RELATIONS ?AT GAVE !M AN ILLUSION AGA9/ ! ALI5AT+ & DEVA/AT$ SOCIETY4 ,AS A CONSEQU5CE1 EV5 IF IDEAS1 ATTITUDES & PRACTICES W]E /ILL !RE1 ! PROJECTS & 9ITIATIVES ?AT W]E C>RI$ \T DIDN'T REALLY TRY TO SUBV]T ( DAILY LIFE4 

,I CAME BACK TO MY W9D[ & SC\R+ ! HORIZON1 LOOK+ = A NEW SPUR1 A T9Y SIGNAL TO />T AGA94 ,BUT MO/ ( ! TIME ! COLOR ,I SAW 9 ! /REET WAS ?AT ( ! UNI=MS COM+ TO EXACT ! RETORSION4 

,MEANTIME ,I C>RI$ ON ) MY SMALL ACTIONS1 TRY+ TO CONV9CE MYSELF ?AT MY S5SITIVITY & HOPE W]5'T CL\D$ BY ! D>KNESS ( MY T[N4 ,9 FACT1 IT WAS A DEMON/RATION ( RESI/ANCE1 & ! PRO( ?AT ?+S CAN BE DONE1 EV5 IF MANY DIDN'T GO ANY FUR!R ?AN ?AT4 ,BUT 9 SPITE ( ALL ! MESSAGES ,I SPREAD 9 ! W9D1 MY [N VOICE WAS ! ONLY E*O4 

,IT WAS QUITE AN ABSURD SITUATION444 ,I WAS LOOK+ = PA?S TO %>E ) O!RS1 EV5 IF IT IMPLI$ ADAPT+ MY T5SION & SKILLS TO ?OSE ( O!RS4 ,9 ! 5D !RE WAS NO ANSW]1 ONLY FRU/RATION1 AS ,I HAD R$UC$ MY ASPIRATIONS TO A DIM5SION ?AT WAS NOT M9E4 

,:AT WAS ,I TURN+ 9TO8 ,MAYBE A PRIE/ LOOK+ = GOOD S\LS1 OR RA!R A <O/ OR %AD[ ?AT RUNS UP AGA9/ ! WALL ) O!RS NOT WANT+ TO COME NE> IT4 ,& IF ,I W]E REALLY RES5TFUL ,I W\LD SAY ,I HAD TURN$ 9TO A PLAGUE VICTIM :O BR\<T BAD LUCK1 AS ,I WAS A SWORN 5EMY ( ORD]4 ,AFT] ALL1 ! =CES ( REPRESSION CONC5TRATE !IR EF=TS ON ! FEW :O DON'T GIVE UP1 GIV5 ?AT !Y DON'T HAVE MANY O!R OBJECTIVES LEFT4 ,I MADE A DECISION4 ,I W\LDN'T ACCEPT ! 9EVITABLE FACT ?AT ,I WAS BE+ SPI$ UPON1 NOR W\LD ,I MEASURE MY ASPIRATIONS & ACTIONS ACCORD+ TO :AT ! IMPOS$ CONDITIONS E/ABLI%$4 ,CONTROL & CO]CION DI/URB \R LIFE 5\<1 ,I F\ND IT UNACCEPTABLE TO BECOME MY [N CONTROLL]4 

,SO ,I DECID$ NOT TO LET MYSELF BE TRACK$ D[N ANY LONG]4 ,I DECID$ ?AT MY TIME1 SPACE & EXP]I5CES DIDN'T DES]VE TO BECOME FODD] = MY 5EMY'S APPETITE4 ,:5 ,I MADE ?IS *OICE ,I KNEW IT WAS AN ADV5TURE ?AT W\LD NOT NECESS>ILY BE F9AL1 BUT :I* C\LD PUT ME 9 SOME NEW1 UNIQUE & IMMUTABLE CONDITION 9 :I* TO N\RI% MY DESIRES & ACTIVITIES4 ,I RA!R F\ND MYSELF 9 A P>ALLEL DIM5SION ?AT ALL[$ ME TO LOOK = ! COMPLET5ESS & FRE$OM ( MOVEM5T ?AT ,I LACK$3 O!R PLACES1 O!R 9/RUM5TS & O!R CONDITIONS TO KEEP ON /RESS+ ! IDEAS ?AT HAD M>K$ MY LIFE = A LONG TIME4 

,SOMETIMES ,I COME BACK TO ! W9D[ BUT ,I KN[ ?AT MY VIEW IS GO+ TO REA* WID] HORIZONS ?AN ?OSE ?AT ,I SAW 9 ! BEG9N+4 

,EXP]I5CES ( BANI%M5T 

,!Y HAVE BLACK FLAGS ( HOPE 

& MELAN*OLY IS !IR DANC+ P>TN]4 

,!Y HAVE KNIVES TO CUT ! BREAD ( FRI5D%IP 

& BLOOD TO CLEAN ! DIRT AWAY4 

,LEO ,F]RE1 ,! AN>*I/S 

,I HAVE HAD OCCASION TO EXP]I5CE SOME K9D ( BANI%M5T = %ORT P]IODS ( TIME3 LIFE 9 HID+1 PRISON1 & EXPULSION4 ,EV5 IF !Y ALL >E CONDITIONS ?AT >E IMPOS$ BY REPRESSION1 EA* ONE IS V]Y DIFF]5T FROM ! O!R4 ,I AM GO+ TO TALK AB\T !M1 AS !Y >E EXP]IM5TS 9 FRE$OM4 

,H[EV]1 ,I 9T5D TO EXPOSE ! ?\<TS ?AT !SE CIRCUM/ANCES RAIS$ 9 ME RA!R ?AN DESCRIBE !IR PRACTICAL ASPECTS4 ,I'M GO+ TO TAKE 9TO CONSID]ATION ! '9N]' DIM5SION 9VOLV$1 !N ,I'LL TRY TO DRAW SOME G5]AL CONCLUSIONS4 ,?IS IS ! WAY ,I PREF]4 ,9 FACT1 AS CONC]NS ! MANY EV5TS ,I EXP]I5C$1 ,I T5D TO REMEMB] ! IDEAS & EMOTIONAL /ATES ?AT *>ACT]IZ$ !M4 ,I'M GO+ TO USE N>RATIVE1 >TICULAT$ DISCUSSION & %ORT NOTES4 ,I'M SOMETIMES GO+ TO QUOTE O!R PEOPLE'S WORDS1 BUT ONLY BECAUSE !SE WORDS HAD A DECISIVE IMPORTANCE = ME ON !SE OCCASIONS4 ,& ONLY SOME DI/ANT E*O 9 ! READ]'S [N EXP]I5CE WILL ALL[ HIM TO DI/+UI% !SE NOTES FROM A M]E LIT]>Y EX]CISE4 ,MY MO/ EXTREME EXP]I5CE DOESN'T CONC]N FE> OR ! PRIVATION ( FRE$OM4 ,9 ONE ( HIS FIR/ WORLD W> POEMS1 ! POET ,UNG>ETTI WRITES ?AT ONE DAY HE FELT AS ?\< HE WAS 'DOCILE AS A FIB] 9 ! UNIV]SE'4 ,! POET1 H[EV]1 USES ?IS EXPRESSION TO SAY ?AT HE ?\<T HE WAS P>T ( ! UNIV]SE1 :]EAS MY EXP]I5CE WAS %OCK+ & BEWILD]+4 ,I REMEMB] ,UNG>ETTI'S WORDS COM+ 9TO MY M9D AS ! MO/ APPROPRIATE 7:5 Y\R HE>T ?ROBS C]TA9 CORRESPOND5CES ( ! M9D PU% Y\R IDEAS 9TO A /RANGE UNIV]SE CALL$ 9TUITION74 ,I PR\DLY *ANG$ 'DOCILE' 9TO 'FRAGILE' & TRI$ TO CONV9CE MYSELF ?AT ! LATT] WAS ! WORD ! POET ACTUALLY WROTE4 ,BUT ,I DIDN'T ONLY FEEL AS IF ,I WAS 'FRAGILE'1 ,I WAS ALSO 'DOCILE'4 ,:Y8 

,I HAD GOT LO/ 9 A WOOD4 ,:ILE LOOK+ = A WAY \T1 ,I FELL D[N A CLIFF4 ,LUCKILY MY RUCKSACK PREV5T$ ME FROM BREAK+ MY BACK1 BUT ,I WAS 9 SU* PA9 ?AT ,I REMA9$ MOTIONLESS ON ! B$ ( A DRY RIV] = A NI<T & A DAY4 ,I SOON F9I%$ MY FOOD & WAT]4 ,I SP5T DAYS TRY+ TO CLIMB & F9D A SPOT FROM :]E TO ORI5TATE MYSELF1 & ONE NI<T 9 ! RA94 ,! F\R? DAY PASS$ & BESIDES BE+ HUNGRY & V]Y TIR$ ,I />T$ TO FEEL A /RANGE 9T]IOR DIZZ9ESS4 ,AT A C]TA9 PO9T1 ! DIFF]5T ASPECTS ( MY *>ACT] />T$ >GU+ ) ONE ANO!R AS ?\< !Y W]E DIFF]5T PEOPLE4 ,!IR DISC\RSES W]E SO REALI/IC ?AT EV]Y TIME ,I WOKE UP AFT] FALL+ ASLEEP ) MY LEGS WRAPP$ >\ND A TRUNK TO AVOID FALL+ D[N1 ,I C\LDN'T SAY IF ,I HAD REALLY MET SOMEONE OR IF ,I HAD JU/ BE5 DREAM+4 ,TWO VOICES W]E ! MO/ FREQU5T3 ! PESSIMI/IC ONE & ! OPTIMI/IC ONE4 ,! =M] ATTACK$ ! AWKW>D +5UITY ( ! LATT] ) >GUM5TS ?AT ,I WILL NEV] =GET4 ,! QU>REL WAS MA9LY AB\T ! RELATION BETWE5 MAN & NATURE4 ,! OPTIMI/IC ONE 9T]PRET$ ! %APES 9 ! WOOD 7BRAN*ES ( TREES1 PA?S BETWE5 ! BU%ES1 ETC47 AS SIGNS ( A WAY \T & *E]$ UP4 ,! PESSIMI/IC ONE SNE]$ AT ?IS REASSUR+ AN?ROPOMORPHISM AS HE CLAIM$ ?AT A WOOD DIDN'T GIVE ANY SIGNS1 IT JU/ WAS4 ,BUT ! OPTIMI/IC ONE DIDN'T GIVE UP2 ON ! CONTR>Y HE CREAT$ DEITIES = HIMSELF AS COMPANIONS ( TRAVEL4 ,IT WAS :5 ,I SLID ON A SLOP+ ROCK DOZ5S ( MET]S UP ?AT ,I REALLY FELT AS IF ,I WAS A 'DOCILE FIB] 9 ! UNIV]SE'4 ,\T ( ! BLUE ,I REALIZ$ ?AT FRE$OM IS (T5 NO MORE ?AN A QUE/ION (444 BALANCE4 ,SO MANY DESIRES1 PROJECTS1 & DISCUSSIONS ON ! P[] ( ! 9DIVIDUAL TRANS=M+ HIS LIFE3 A FEW C5TIMET]S FUR!R & EV]Y?+ WAS F9I%$4 ,I REGRETT$ PA!TICALLY ?AT ,I W\LDN'T BE ABLE TO WRITE ANY?+ TO ! WORLD ON :OSE FRAGILE BORD]S ,I WAS /ILL ADVANC+ HESITANTLY4 ,I BECAME /RONGLY CONV9C$ ?AT WORDS >E M$IC9ES 7! ,GREEKS 9T5D$ !M AS BO? M$IC9E & POISON7 ?AT KEEP US AP>T FROM ! ABSOLUTELY O!R ?AT ,NATURE IS4 ,WILD NATURE IS NOT AS IT IS DEPICT$ 9 PRIMITIVI/-ILLU/RAT$ MAGAZ9ES2 ON ! CONTR>Y IT IS A T]RIFY+ PLACE BECAUSE IT IS 'MUTE'--A PLACE ( TOTAL COMMUNION & AT ! SAME TIME ( ABSOLUTE LONEL9ESS4 ,EXTREME SOLITUDE IS A M$IC9E TOO BECAUSE IT IS A RELATION 9 :I* O!RS P>TICIPATE 9 ! =M ( ABS5CE4 ,AS ,I WAS LY+ ON ! ROCKS ( ?AT DRY RIV]1 ,I F\ND MYSELF ?9K+ ( :AT MY COMRADES W\LD HAVE SAID AB\T ?AT CIRCUM/ANCE1 & ,I LAU<$ HE>TILY4 ,MY COMRADES444 

,WORDS AS M$IC9E4 ,I EXP]I5C$ MY MO/ 9T5SE RELATION ) !ORY ! NI<T ?AT ,I HAD TO LI<T A FIRE US+ A BOOK ( ,HEGEL4 ,I CAN'T DESCRIBE MY HESITATION :5 ,I TORE \T ! PAGES NOR CAN ,I DESCRIBE MY ?\<TS >\ND ! FIRE OR ! LI<T ?AT ,HEGEL'S DIALECTICS ASSUM$ 9 ! UNUSUAL WAY IT WAS BE+ US$4 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT1 NOT BY *ANCE1 ,H]ACLITUS ! OBSCURE US$ TO SEE 9 ! FLAMES ( FIRE ! S5SITIVE EXPRESSION ( ?+S BECOM+ REALITY4 

,KAFKA SAYS ?AT LOGIC CANNOT RESI/ AGA9/ ?OSE :O WANT TO /AY ALIVE4 ,I DECID$ ?AT EA* TIME ,I TALK$ ) C]TA9TY AB\T ! /RUGGLE & RADICAL PROJECTS ,I W\LD ALWAYS REMEMB] :AT ,I FELT :5 ,I WAS ON ?AT ROCK4 

,LIFE ) ITS NECESS>Y ILLUSIONS HAD ALWAYS TAK5 ME AWAY FROM AW>5ESS ( MY 'DOCILITY' T[>DS ! WORLD4 ,9 FACT1 ,I C\LDN'T HAVE DONE ANY?+ HAD SU* AW>5ESS BE5 ALIVE4 ,:AT CAN WE DE/ROY & :AT CAN WE BUILD IF WE DON'T KN[ :E!R WE WILL BE !RE A MOM5T LAT] OR NOT8 ,:ILE ,I WAS 9 PRISON OR 9 CONF9EM5T ,I PROMIS$ MYSELF ,I W\LD DO MANY ?+S ONCE MY IMPRISONM5T WAS OV]4 ,( C\RSE IT WAS NOT SO4 ,LIFE ABSORBS Y\ & MAKES Y\ =GET ! PUN*ES Y\ TAKE HEAD ON4 ,BUT ,I REALIZE ?AT ! S5SE ( VACUITY ,I EXP]I5C$ 9 ?AT WOOD HAS P5ETRAT$ ME LIKE A NOTE ?AT SECRETLY ACCOMPANIES ANY AFFIRMATION ,I MAKE4 ,IF ,I W]E TO LI/5 TO ?AT ROCKY DEMON MORE (T51 ,I W\LD TALK MU* LESS4 

,UPON ?OSE B>E ROCKS :]E EAGLES BUILD !IR NE/1 ,I GUESS$ H[ /RONG ! ?\<T ( COMMITT+ SUICIDE C\LD BE4 ,! IDEA ?AT Y\ CAN SAY GOODBYE TO ! WORLD AT ANY TIME MAKES LIFE WOND]FUL4 ',GO AHEAD1 D>E FUR!R1 NO ONE CAN COMPEL Y\ TO LIVE6'3 ?R\< ! OB/9ATE VOICE ( ?AT DEMON WE CAN FACE ANY 5EMY4 ,9 FACT1 ALL BLACKMAIL COLLAPSES ON ! %>P PO9T ( ?IS K9D ( AW>5ESS4 ,ON ! $GE ( AN ATTRACTIVE CLIFF1 9 ! ABSOLUTE EMPT9ESS :]E FICTION DISAPPE>S & ONLY :AT C\NTS REALLY C\NTS1 ,I MET UNRES]V$ LOVE4 

,9 O!R WORDS1 ! OPTIMI/ PREVAIL$ ) REASONS ?AT REASON DOESN'T KN[4 ,:5 ONE NI<T 9 ! RA9 A K9D ( COSMIC VOICE 7MY P]SONAL ,MEPHI/OPHELES7 PROPOS$ A PACT TO ME1 ,I FELT AN IRREPRESSIBLE EUPHORIA3 ',IF Y\ R5\NCE Y\R IDEAS ,I WILL TAKE Y\ \T ( ?IS WOOD'4 ,I SAID EUPHORIA1 :I* IS :AT ,I FELT :5 ,I REFUS$ ! (F]4 ,/ILL RHETORICAL EV5 :5 HE IS DELIRI\S1 SOME WILL SAY4 ,AFT] ALL1 EV5 \R HALLUC9ATIONS REVEAL :O WE >E4 

,IT MI<T SEEM /RANGE1 BUT MY EXP]I5CE AS SOMEONE 9 CL&E/9ITY IS ALL !RE1 9 ! EXP]I5CE ,I'VE JU/ TOLD Y\ AB\T4 ,! RE/ IS A S]IES ( DETAILS4 ,WE ONLY REALLY REMEMB] :AT %OCKS US4 

,AS ,I LI/5$ TO MY V>I\S SELFS >GU+ 9 ! WOOD1 ,I UND]/OOD ! MEAN+ ( ,NIETZS*E'S AFFIRMATION ?AT :AT WE CALL ',I' IS ONLY AN ILLUSION ( GRAMM>1 \R LIFE BE+ JU/ A SPACE :I* 9NUM]ABLE 5TITIES 9 CONFLICT PASS ?R\<4 ,AFT] ?AT1 ,I HAVE (T5 F\ND MYSELF ?9K+ AB\T ! CONCEPT ( ID5TITY4 

,:AT REALLY FRI<T5S US IS \R LACK ( CONTROL OV] :AT SURR\NDS US4 ,I AM SURE ?AT ! FEW DAYS ,I SP5T 9 ! WOODS AFFECT$ ME F> MORE ?AN ! MON?S ,I SP5T 9 PRISON4 ,EV]Y?+ IS1 OR SEEMS TO BE1 UND] CONTROL 9 PRISON1 AT LEA/ IT WAS LIKE ?AT UND] ! CONDITIONS ?AT ,I EXP]I5C$ !RE4 ,( C\RSE Y\R FRE$OM IS TAK5 AWAY & Y\ HATE Y\R JAIL]S2 BUT EV]Y?+ REPEATS ITSELF 9 ! SAME WAY1 ) Y\ ON ! ONE SIDE & !M ON ! O!R1 & Y\ CAN C>RY \T Y\R M9IMAL PROJECT4 ,9 O!R WORDS1 !RE IS A CODE4 ,!RE IS A BIG DIFF]5CE BETWE5 ! PRISON] :O ABSORBS ?IS CODE UNTIL HE BECOMES P>T ( ! TOTAL 9/ITUTION & ! ONE :O CANNOT ACCEPT IT4 ,BUT EV5 ! MO/ DET]M9$ REBEL USES C]TA9 CODES4 ,ON C]TA9 OCCASIONS1 ON ! CONTR>Y1 ALL CODES COLLAPSE BECAUSE NO?+1 NOT EV5 \R LACK ( FRE$OM1 IS SURE4 ,I ?9K ?AT LACK ( ALL GU>ANTEES CAN LEAD TO 9SANITY4 ,9 ?IS S5SE1 ,I P]CEIV$ BETT] :AT A RADICAL CRITIQUE ( PSY*IATRY IS4 

,I HAVE (T5 WOK5 UP SUDD5LY ) ! FE> ( NOT HAV+ WAT] 7& 9 SU* CASES IT HAS ALWAYS BE5 A GREAT PLEASURE TO F9D A BOTTLE CLOSE TO MY B$72 ON ! CONTR>Y1 ,I HAVE H>DLY EV] DREAM$ AB\T PRISON4 

,AS = ! CONCEPT ( ID5TITY1 ! CONDITION ( BE+ 9 CL&E/9ITY IS A REM>KABLE EXP]IM5T ON ! SUBJECT & CAN BE F> MORE USEFUL ?AN A LOT ( PHILOSOPHY BOOKS4 ,COEURD]OY SAID ?AT WE %\LD BE ABLE TO *ANGE \R NAME EV]Y DAY4 ,?AT IS ALSO :AT ,I SAID TO ! COPS :5 !Y QUE/ION$ ME1 & ,I ADD$ ?AT ! CONCEPT ( ID5TITY IS AU?ORIT>IAN4 ,! NOT SO RELAX$ REACTION ( ! COPS %[$ ME CLE>LY H[ CATEGORIES ( ID5TITY >E DOM9ION'S PIVOTAL PO9T4 

,:AT IS ID5TITY8 

,A C]TA9 IMAGE BUILT UP ) A NUMB] ( ELEM5TS COMES 9TO PLAY 9 \R DAILY RELATIONS4 ,\R PA/ & :AT O!RS KN[ AB\T US BECOME QUITE HABITUAL ASPECTS1 & WE DON'T USUALLY GIVE !M MU* ?\<T4 ,:5 WE BECOME 9TIMATE ) SOMEONE1 WE OP5 UP TO HIM OR H] :AT IS MO/ PRECI\S TO US1 AFFECTIONS & IDEAS ?AT 9 !MSELVES HAVE A /ORY4 ,A CL&E/9E P]SON1 ON ! CONTR>Y1 CONT9U\SLY HAS TO CREATE HIS OR H] ID5TITY1 :I* HAS TO BE COH]5T 9 ORD] NOT TO BE SUSPICI\S4 ,TO GET US$ TO A NAME ?AT ISN'T Y\RS IS A V]Y P>TICUL> EXP]I5CE1 :I* MI<T BE IMPOSSIBLE = SOMEONE 7MAYBE BECAUSE IT IS V]Y SIMIL> TO ',I IS ANO!R' BY A CL&E/9E ( POETRY CALL$ ,RIMBAUD74 ,AN 9T]E/+ & USEFUL ASPECT ( ?IS CONDITION IS ?AT IT HELPS Y\ TO DEVELOP A BASIC SKILL1 I4E4 IT TEA*ES Y\ TO TALK AB\T Y\RSELF ) EXTREME S9C]ITY )\T M5TION+ ANY DETAILS AB\T Y\R LIFE4 ,IT IS NOT SO MU* A CAPACITY = AB/RACTION BUT RA!R ! ABILITY TO TRANS=M Y\R EXP]I5CES 9TO A DI/ILLATION ( ?\<TS & EMOTIONS4 ,A DIFF]5T CONCEPT ( ID5TITY IS MAYBE :AT IS LEFT OV] FROM ?IS PROCESS ( DI/ILLATION4 ,9 ! C\RSE ( ?IS 9T]IOR AL*EMY Y\ MU/ ?R[ AWAY SOME?+ IMPORTANT1 :I* CAN BE PA9FUL4 ,= EXAMPLE1 [+ TO MY '*>ACT]'1 IT WAS H>D = ME TO R5\NCE TO ! PUBLIC ASPECT ( MY SUBV]SIVE ACTIVITY4 7,I USE ! 9V]T$ COMMA BECAUSE ,I CAN'T =GET A S5T5CE ( ,VAL]Y'S NOTEBOOKS 9 :I* HE SAID ?AT :AT WE CALL *>ACT] IS SOME?+ TEMPOR>Y74 ,SURELY1 A COMRADE ON ! RUN IS ALWAYS ?9K+ ( HIS ID5TITY AT RISK & H[ TO GET 9VOLV$ 9 O!R COMRADES' PROJECTS 7DO !Y REMEMB] ME874 ,9 ?IS CASE COH]5CE1 :I* 9 SOCIAL RELATIONS IS A GU>ANTEE ( ! 'REGUL>ITY' ?AT %ELT]S US FROM FE> & *AOS1 & :I* IS (T5 F> LESS OBVI\S ?AN IT MI<T SEEM1 ASSUMES A V]Y P>TICUL> DIM5SION1 :]E ! T5SION BETWE5 !ORY & PRACTICE IS AT A MORE 9T]IOR LEVEL4 ,?IS COH]5CE CAN SOMETIMES BE REA*$ BY PAY+ A HI< PRICE 9 ! SPH]E ( AFFECTIONS4 ,I *OSE NOT TO BE TOO RIGOR\S :5 ,I HAD TO GO CL&E/9E 7AS PROV$ BY ! VISIT POLICE PAID ME A FEW MON?S LAT]44474 ,BUT ,I CAN GUESS H[ ONE CAN OP5 OR CLOSE ONESELF BY PAY+ CON/ANT ATT5TION4 ,I UND]/& ! COMRADE :O SAYS HE KNEW AU!NTIC FRE$OM ONLY AS A CL&E/9E1 :5 HE TRAVEL$ 9COGNITO ?R\< C\NTRIES & PEOPLE4 ,I HAD A LITTLE TA/E ( ?IS ONE NI<T ON A HILL1 AS ,I LOOK$ AT ! LI<TS ( ! T[NS FROM ! DI/ANCE ( ! FUGITIVE4 ,?OSE :O >E BANN$ CAN OV]TURN !IR CONDITION & BECOME B&ITS4 

,ONE'S ATT5TION 7AS REG>DS ! T]RITORY :]E ONE MOVES1 ONE'S LOOKS & BEHAVIOR1 & UNWANT$ CONTACT ) COMRADES7 CANNOT BE IMPROVIS$ BECAUSE IT REQUIRES ! NECESS>Y TIME & 5]GY4 ,BUT O!R COMRADES ) MORE EXP]I5CE ?AN ME CAN EXPLA9 ?IS MU* BETT]4 

,LIV+ 9 HID+ & BE+ HELD 9 PRISON >E V]Y DIFF]5T CONDITIONS ALSO AS REG>DS ! P]CEPTION ( ONE'S ID5TITY4 ,I REMEMB] HAV+ FELT A DEEP & ALMO/ EUPHORIC JOY :5 FROM MY CELL ,I />T$ WRIT+ TO MY COMRADES :OM ,I HADN'T BE5 9 T\* ) = A LONG TIME4 ,I WAS WRIT+ ) 'MY' NAME1 ,I WAS RECEIV+ LETT]S & TALK+ AB\T PA/ EXP]I5CES & FUTURE PROJECTS3 ALL ?IS FILL$ MY HE>T & DAYS ) JOY4 ,COMRADES TALK AB\T PRISON]S1 ORGANIZE SOLID>ITY 9ITIATIVES & MAKE PUBLIC !IR IDEAS4 ,?OSE :O LIVE 9 HID+ >E EV5 MORE ISOLAT$4 ,!IR COH]5CE IS PR\D & DIFFICULT AS !Y CANNOT HAVE AN EXT]NAL 9SI<T4 ,MAY ! W&]]S BE REMEMB]$4 

,LIV+ 9 HID+ IS AN EXP]I5CE ( /RONG RELATIONS & COMPLICITIES1 BUT ALSO ( GREAT SOLITUDE4 ,! DEMON ( NO/ALGIA (T5 VISITS Y\1 & BR+S Y\ MEMORIES ?AT Y\ CONSID]$ BURI$3 A F> (F *ILDHOOD FRI5D1 ! SMELL ( ! %OP :]E Y\ US$ TO GO AS A *ILD1 A GIRL Y\ LOV$ :5 Y\ W]E TE5AG] OR MAYBE ! BEAUTIFUL WOMAN :O PASS$ 9 FRONT ( Y\ ! DAY BE=E2 & !N WORDS1 PLACES1 SONGS1 EV]Y?+ SEEMS TO CONSPIRE TO MAKE Y\ FEEL NO/ALGIC4 ,NO/ALGIA IS A /RANGE WORLD AS IT CAN MAKE EV5 A /UPID ,SANREMO SONG S\ND SWEET TO AN AN>*I/444 

,EV]YBODY KN[S ! DIFF]5CE BETWE5 NO/ALGIA & SADNESS4 ,! =M] IS A BLACK-COLOR$ S5SATION1 BUT IT'S A BLACK ?AT GIVES Y\ SOME?+4 ,HAVE Y\ EV] NOTIC$ ?AT GLOOMY PEOPLE HAVE A DI/RACT$ & SCRUPUL\S K9DNESS ( !IR [N8 ,AS !Y >E CAU<T BY NO/ALGIA = !IR PA/1 !Y DEVELOP A P>TICUL> S5SIBILITY = UNKN[N PEOPLE1 AS IF !Y WANT$ TO FILL ! EMPT9ESS ) A PROMISE ( HAPP9ESS4 ,LIV+ 9 HID+ IS MORE OR LESS LIKE ?AT4 

,F]RE'S LYRICS1 :I* ,I QUOT$ AT ! BEG9N+1 HAVE JU/ COME BACK 9TO MY M9D4 ,CURI\SLY 5\<1 ,I F\ND !M WRITT5 ON A WALL ) A FELT-TIP P54 ,IT IS S+UL> ?AT AN>*I/S >E DEPICT$ AS NO/ALGIC PEOPLE1 ISN'T IT8 ',!Y HAVE BLACK FLAGS ( HOPE_/& MELAN*OLY AS !IR DANC+ P>TN]'444 ,WELL1 ,I ?9K ?AT LIV+ 9 HID+ HAS TURN$ ME 9TO ?IS3 MY IRR$UCIBLE OPTIMISM HAS BECOME MORE MELAN*OLIC1 AS ?\< IT W]E ACCOMPANI$ BY A GYPSY TUNE4 

,! HOMOLOGATION ( ACTIVITIES & GE/URES IS MAK+ ALL CRITIQUE MORE & MORE 9(F5SIVE4 ,WE (T5 HAVE ! IMPRESSION ?AT SPEAK+ IS PO9TLESS4 ,LIV+ 9 HID+ & BE+ HELD 9 PRISON W]E ALL V]Y DIFF]5T EXP]I5CES = ME FROM ?IS PO9T ( VIEW4 ,9 PRISON ,I EXP]I5C$ ! P[] ( WORDS4 ,TO SPEAK TO ! GU>DS1 DIRECTOR & /AFF 9 A C]TA9 WAY1 OR TO SPEAK TO O!R PRISON]S DUR+ ! 'SOCIALITY' TIME HAS PRACTICAL EFFECTS4 ,REBEL WORDS >E LIKELY TO BR+ AB\T ACTION2 !RE=E !Y >E FE>$4 

,IF Y\ >E CL&E/9E1 ! P[] ( WORDS IS SOMETIMES LIMIT$1 & ?IS IS NOT ONLY = SECURITY REASONS4 ,IT CAN HAPP5 ?AT Y\ ?9K TWICE BE=E SPEAK+ BECAUSE :AT Y\ SAY RISKS LOOK+ AS IF Y\ >E GIV+ A LESSON1 BECAUSE IT CAN'T BE PUT 9TO PRACTICE 7ESPECIALLY :]E O!RS W\LD BE EXPOS+ !MSELVES PUBLICLY :]EAS Y\ CAN'T74 ,SO Y\ PREF] TO KEEP QUIET1 UNLESS Y\ F9D A NEW =M ( COMPLICITY 9 A COMMON PROJECT4 ,AFT] ALL1 Y\ >E EV5 FRE] TO ACT BECAUSE Y\ HAVE AN ADVANTAGE OV] ! 5EMY3 ! LATT] DOESN'T KN[ :]E Y\ >E444 

,A =M ( PUNI%M5T IS ADOPT$ 9 SOME /ILL EXI/5T PRIMITIVE COMMUNITIES1 :I* !Y CONSID] ! H>DE/4 ,IT IS NOT PHYSICAL TORTURE1 NOR IMPRISONM5T OR O/RACISM4 ,:5 SOMEONE COMMITS P>TICUL>LY S]I\S & BLAMEWOR?Y ACTS1 ! COMMUNITY REACT BY TREAT+ HIM AS IF HE DIDN'T EXI/4 ,AS !Y DON'T LOOK AT HIM1 SPEAK TO HIM OR AB\T HIM1 ! MEMB]S ( ! COMMUNITY MAKE HIM 9VISIBLE = A L5G? ( TIME4 ,!Y SAY IT IS AN UNBE>ABLE PUNI%M5T4 ,\R 9DIVIDUALITY IS BUILT UP & COMPLET$ BY A CONT9U\S GAME ( COMMUNICATION & RECIPROCAL RECOGNITION4 ,WE >E 9VISIBLE TO ONE ANO!R :5 WE EA* FEEL GUILTY BY \R V]Y PRES5CE1 R5D]$ AWKW>D & ANONYM\S BY ! HOMOLOGATION ?AT PREV5TS US FROM E/ABLI%+ \R UNIONS & TALK+ S9C]ELY )\T M$IATION4 

,?IS IS V]Y SIMIL> TO ! CONDITION EXP]I5C$ BY MILLIONS ( CL&E/9E PEOPLE 9 ! WORLD1 MA9LY ! ECONOMIC REFUGEES ( ! CAPITALI/ MASSACRE4 ,!Y >E 9VISIBLE & COMPELL$ TO RUN LIKE %AD[S ALONG ! WALLS ( METROPOLI TO EXPIATE ! GUILT ( BE+ POOR & =EIGN4 ,CL&E/9E PEOPLE FRI<T5 US BECAUSE1 ?R\< !M1 WE P]CEIVE \R CONDITION AS PREC>I\S1 UPROOT$ PEOPLE1 SUBMITT$ TO A GIGANTIC PRODUCTIVE & TE*NOLOGICAL APP>ATUS BEYOND \R CONTROL1 & %UNT$ FROM ONE MAT]IAL NE$ TO ANO!R ! MEAN+ ( :I* QUITE ESCAPES US4 

,I'M GLAD ?AT ?IS BOOKLET ALSO EXPOSES ! EXP]I5CE ( SOMEONE LIV+ 9 HID+ = REASONS O!R ?AN ?OSE ( MANY COMRADES4 ,?IS DOESN'T MEAN ?AT WE HAVE TO ELIM9ATE DIFF]5CES1 BUT ?AT WE HAVE TO =MULATE A RADICAL CRITIQUE ( BORD]S & ID5TITY PAP]S FROM A SOCIAL PO9T ( VIEW4 ,UN=TUNATELY1 ! IDEA ( SUBV]T+ ! CATEGORIES ( DOM9ION 7WORK] _/ UNEMPLOY$1 CITIZ5 _/ =EIGN]1 LEGAL _/ ILLEGAL1 9NOC5T _/ GUILTY7 WAS \R IDEA 9 ! FIR/ PLACE1 & NOT A REAL TR5D4 ,CATEGORIES MU/ BE DE/ROY$ 9 ! /RUGGLE2 IT'S NOT 5\< TO SIMPLY CLAIM ?AT !Y DON'T EXI/4 ,! CONDITION ( MILLIONS ( LEGALLY 9EXI/5T M5 & WOM51 AS A WELL-KN[N S]VILE ,ITALIAN POLITICAL SCI5TI/ CALL$ !M1 C\LD BE A PA9FUL YET =MIDABLE OCCASION TO DE/ROY ALL COLLECTIVE & AU?ORIT>IAN ID5TITIES4 ,?OSE :O >E 9VISIBLE BECAUSE !Y HAVE BE5 DEPRIV$ ( WORDS & RELATION%IPS (T5 LOOK = SOME COLLECTIVE ID5TITY AS A =M ( DEF5SE4 ,?IS IS :Y FUNDAM5TALISM EXI/S1 A SPECULATIVE PRODUCT ( CAPITAL'S NEGATION ( DIFF]5CES4 ,A DISCUSSION ON ITS SOCIAL CAUSES IS URG5T1 AS IT IS C]TA9LY NOT ) 9TELLECTUAL >GUM5TATIONS ON ! 9EXI/5CE ( GOD ?AT IT IS POSSIBLE TO =MULATE A PRACTICAL CRITIQUE ( RELIGION4 ,! NE$ = COMMUNITIES 9 A WORLD :]E ! ONLY COMMUNITY IS ?AT ( CONSUM] GOODS1 IS GETT+ /RONG] & /RONG] & IS EASILY MANIPULAT$ BY NATIONALI/IC & FUNDAM5TALI/ SC\RGES4 ,! 9VISIBLE PEOPLE :O >E SURR\ND$ BY HATR$ & 9DIFF]5CE1 WOM5 & M5 :O >E FAC$ ) AN ULTIMATUM >E MORE & MORE NUM]\S3 !Y >E EI!R SUBJECT$ & =C$ TO 9TEGRATE OR DEPORT$4 ,COMMON GR\NDS = REBELLION1 CREAT$ FROM IMM$IATE NE$S 9 ORD] TO GO =W>D1 >E F> MORE ?AN SOLID>ITY4 ,\R V]Y FRE$OM IS AT /AKE BECAUSE ! POSSIBILITY ( SOCIAL W> IS V]Y LIKELY TO BE TRANS=M$ 9TO ! C]TA9TY ( 'RACIAL' W>4 ,IT IS 9 ! OV]:ELM+ *AOS ( LANGUAGES & CULTURES ?AT NEW DES]TIONS & UNIONS NE$ TO BE EXP]I5C$444 

,H[ IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE 9VISIBLE TO P[] & ITS GU>DIANS--9 O!R WORDS1 H[ IT IS POSSIBLE TO DEFY ID5TIFICATION--& AT ! SAME TIME BE SOCIALLY VISIBLE8 ,I ?9K ?IS IS ! MA9 PROBLEM ?AT REG>DS ALL CL&E/9E COMRADES4 ,I ALSO ?9K ?AT WE CAN BEG9 TO TALK AB\T \R W&]] COMRADES />T+ FROM ! CONDITION ( W&]+ ON A L>GE SCALE1 SO ?AT \R COMRADES >E LESS DI/ANT4 

,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,JANU>Y #b#i1 #bba 3 ,9COGNITO -- ,ADD$4 
,JANU>Y #g1 #bbb 3 ,9COGNITO -- ,UPDAT$4 

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