,P>T #h #ahhbahhb ,PEOPLE 3 ,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY ,TEXT 3 ,ALL !SE D\BTS1 :I* ,I AM N[ ABLE TO EXPRESS MORE OR LESS SY/EMATICALLY1 ,I C\LD NOT !N HAVE EXPRESS$4 ,I !N ONLY FELT ?AT H[EV] LOGICALLY 9EVITABLE W]E MY CONCLUSIONS CONC]N+ ! VANITY ( LIFE1 CONFIRM$ AS !Y W]E BY ! GREATE/ ?9K]S1 !RE WAS SOME?+ NOT RI PEOPLE >E NOT ! :OLE ( MANK9D1 & ?AT ,I DID NOT YET KN[ ! LIFE ( MANK9D4 ,LOOK+ AT ! N>R[ CIRCLE ( MY EQUALS1 ,I SAW ONLY PEOPLE :O HAD NOT UND]/OOD ! QUE/ION1 OR :O HAD UND]/OOD IT & DR[N$ IT 9 LIFE'S 9TOXICATION1 OR HAD UND]/OOD IT & 5D$ !IR LIVES1 OR HAD UND]/OOD IT & YET FROM WEAKNESS W]E LIV+ \T !IR DESP]ATE LIFE4 ,& ,I SAW NO O!RS4 ,IT SEEM$ TO ME ?AT ?AT N>R[ CIRCLE ( RI*1 LE>N$1 & LEISUR$ PEOPLE TO :I* ,I BELONG$ =M$ ! :OLE ( HUMANITY1 & ?AT ?OSE MILLI>DS ( O!RS :O HAVE LIV$ & >E LIV+ W]E CATTLE ( SOME SORT - NOT REAL PEOPLE4 ,/RANGE1 9CR$IBLY 9COMPREH5SIBLE AS IT N[ SEEMS TO ME ?AT ,I C\LD1 :ILE REASON+ AB\T LIFE1 OV]LOOK ! :OLE LIFE ( MANK9D ?AT SURR\ND$ ME ON ALL SIDES2 ?AT ,I C\LD TO SU* A DEGREE BLUND] SO ABSURDLY AS TO ?9K ?AT MY LIFE1 & ,SOLOMON'S & ,S*OP5HAU]'S1 IS ! REAL1 NORMAL LIFE1 & ?AT ! LIFE ( ! MILLI>DS IS A CIRCUM/ANCE UNDES]V+ ( ATT5TION - /RANGE AS ?IS N[ IS TO ME1 ,I SEE ?AT SO IT WAS4 ,9 ! DELUSION ( MY PRIDE ( 9TELLECT IT SEEM$ TO ME SO 9DUBITABLE ?AT ,I & ,SOLOMON & ,S*OP5HAU] HAD /AT$ ! QUE/ION SO TRULY & EXACTLY ?AT NO?+ ELSE WAS POSSIBLE - SO 9DUBITABLE DID IT SEEM ?AT ALL ?OSE MILLI>DS CONSI/$ ( M5 :O HAD NOT YET >RIV$ AT AN APPREH5SION ( ALL ! PR(UNDITY ( ! QUE/ION - ?AT ,I S\DS ( COMMON FOLK :O LIVE & HAVE LIV$ 9 ! WORLD80 ,I LONG LIV$ 9 ?IS /ATE ( LUNACY1 :I*1 9 FACT IF NOT 9 WORDS1 IS P>TICUL>LY *>ACT]I/IC ( US V]Y LIB]AL & LE>N$ PEOPLE4 ,BUT ?ANKS EI!R TO ! /RANGE PHYSICAL AFFECTION ,I HAVE = ! REAL LABOR+ PEOPLE1 :I* COMPELL$ ME TO UND]/& !M & TO SEE ?AT !Y >E NOT SO /UPID AS WE SUPPOSE1 OR ?ANKS TO ! S9C]ITY ( MY CONVICTION ?AT ,I C\LD KN[ NO?+ BEYOND ! FACT ?AT ! BE/ ,I C\LD DO WAS TO HANG MYSELF1 AT ANY RATE ,I 9/9CTIVELY FELT ?AT IF ,I WI%$ TO LIVE & UND]/& ! MEAN+ ( LIFE1 ,I MU/ SEEK ?IS MEAN+ NOT AMONG ?OSE :O HAVE LO/ IT & WI% TO KILL !MSELVES1 BUT AMONG ?OSE MILLI>DS ( ! PA/ & ! PRES5T :O MAKE LIFE & :O SUPPORT ! BURD5 ( !IR [N LIVES & ( \RS ALSO4 ,& ,I CONSID]$ ! 5ORM\S MASSES ( ?OSE SIMPLE1 UNLE>N$1 & POOR PEOPLE :O HAVE LIV$ & >E LIV+ & ,I SAW SOME?+ QUITE DIFF]5T4 ,I SAW ?AT1 ) R>E EXCEPTIONS1 ALL ?OSE MILLI>DS :O HAVE LIV$ & >E LIV+ DO NOT FIT 9TO MY DIVISIONS1 & ?AT ,I C\LD NOT CLASS !M AS NOT UND]/&+ ! QUE/ION1 = !Y !MSELVES /ATE IT & REPLY TO IT ) EXTRAORD9>Y CLE>NESS4 ,NOR C\LD ,I CONSID] !M EPICUREANS1 = !IR LIFE CONSI/S MORE ( PRIVATIONS & SUFF]+S ?AN ( 5JOYM5TS4 ,/ILL LESS C\LD ,I CONSID] !M AS IRRATIONALLY DRAGG+ ON A MEAN+LESS EXI/5CE1 = EV]Y ACT ( !IR LIFE1 AS WELL AS DEA? ITSELF1 IS EXPLA9$ BY !M4 ,TO KILL !MSELVES !Y CONSID] ! GREATE/ EVIL4 ,IT APPE>$ ?AT ALL MANK9D HAD A KN[L$GE1 UNACKN[L$G$ & DESPIS$ BY ME1 ( ! MEAN+ ( LIFE4 ,IT APPE>$ ?AT REASONABLE KN[L$GE DOES NOT GIVE ! MEAN+ ( LIFE1 BUT EXCLUDES LIFE3 :ILE ! MEAN+ ATTRIBUT$ TO LIFE BY MILLI>DS ( PEOPLE1 BY ALL HUMANITY1 RE/S ON SOME DESPIS$ PSEUDO-KN[L$GE4 ,RATIONAL KN[L$GE PRES5T$ BY ! LE>N$ & WISE1 D5IES ! MEAN+ ( LIFE1 BUT ! 5ORM\S MASSES ( M51 ! :OLE ( MANK9D RECEIVE ?AT MEAN+ 9 IRRATIONAL KN[L$GE4 ,& ?AT IRRATIONAL KN[L$GE IS FAI?1 ?AT V]Y ?+ :I* ,I C\LD NOT BUT REJECT4 ,IT IS ,GOD1 ,ONE 9 ,?REE2 ! CREATION 9 SIX DAYS2 ! DEVILS & ANGELS1 & ALL ! RE/ ?AT ,I CANNOT ACCEPT AS LONG AS ,I RETA9 MY REASON4 ,MY POSITION WAS T]RIBLE4 ,I KNEW ,I C\LD F9D NO?+ ALONG ! PA? ( REASONABLE KN[L$GE EXCEPT A D5IAL ( LIFE2 & !RE - 9 FAI? - WAS NO?+ BUT A D5IAL ( REASON1 :I* WAS YET MORE IMPOSSIBLE = ME ?AN A D5IAL ( LIFE4 ,FROM RATIONAL KN[L$GE IT APPE>$ ?AT LIFE IS AN EVIL1 PEOPLE KN[ ?IS & IT IS 9 !IR P[] TO 5D LIFE2 YET !Y LIV$ & /ILL LIVE1 & ,I MYSELF LIVE1 ?\< ,I HAVE LONG KN[N ?AT LIFE IS S5SELESS & AN EVIL4 ,BY FAI? IT APPE>S ?AT 9 ORD] TO UND]/& ! MEAN+ ( LIFE ,I MU/ R5\NCE MY REASON1 ! V]Y ?+ = :I* ALONE A MEAN+ IS REQUIR$4 7,S\RCE3 ,A ,CONFESSION1 BY ,LEV ,NIKOLAYEVI* ,TOL/OY1 ,DI/RIBUT$ BY ! ,TOL/OY ,LIBR>Y ,ONL9E1 ,FIR/ DI/RIBUT$ 9 ,RUSSIA 9 #a#h#h#b1 FIR/ PUBLI%$ 9 #a#h#h#d47 ,FROM 3 ,FLAG4,BLACK5$4NET4 ,*RONOLOGY 3 ,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahha 3 ,P>T #h -- ,PUBLICATION4 ,FEBRU>Y #a#a1 #bag 3 ,P>T #h -- ,ADD$4 FILE G5]AT$ FROM 3 HTTP3_/_/REVOLTLIB4COM_/