,*APT] #f 
,CONFESSION 

#ahegaheg 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,) !SE & O!R DISJO9T$ IMPRESSIONS 9 MY M9D1 ,I RETURN$ TO ! DIVANNAIA4 ,AS SOON AS EV]Y ONE HAD REASSEMBL$1 ! PRIE/ ROSE & PREP>$ TO READ ! PRAY] BE=E CONFESSION4 ,! 9/ANT ?AT ! SIL5CE WAS BROK5 BY ! /]N1 EXPRESSIVE VOICE ( ! MONK AS HE RECIT$ ! PRAY]--& MORE ESPECIALLY :5 HE ADDRESS$ TO US ! WORDS3 0,REVEAL ?\ ALL ?Y S9S )\T %AME1 CONCEALM5T1 OR EXT5UATION1 & LET ?Y S\L BE CLEANS$ BE=E ,GOD3 = IF ?\ CONCEALE/ AU<T1 !N GREAT WILL BE ?Y S90--! SAME S5SATION ( REV]5T AWE CAME OV] ME AS ,I HAD FELT DUR+ ! MORN+4 ,I EV5 TOOK A C]TA9 PLEASURE 9 RECOGNIZ+ ?IS CONDITION ( M9E1 & /ROVE TO PRES]VE IT1 NOT ONLY BY RE/RA9+ ALL O!R ?\<TS FROM 5T]+ MY BRA91 BUT ALSO BY CONSCI\SLY EX]T+ MYSELF TO FEEL NO O!R S5SATION ?AN ?IS SAME ONE ( REV]5CE4 

,PAPA WAS ! FIR/ TO GO TO CONFESSION4 ,HE REMA9$ A LONG1 LONG TIME 9 ! ROOM :I* HAD BELONG$ TO \R GR&MO!R1 & DUR+ ?AT TIME ! RE/ ( US KEPT SIL5CE 9 ! DIVANNAIA1 OR ONLY :ISP]$ TO ONE ANO!R ON ! SUBJECT ( :O %\LD PREC$E :OM4 ,AT L5G?1 ! VOICE ( ! PRIE/ AGA9 READ+ ! PRAY] S\ND$ FROM ! DOORWAY1 & !N ,PAPA'S FOOT/EPS4 ,! DOOR CREAK$ AS HE CAME \T1 C\<+ & HOLD+ ONE %\LD] HI<] ?AN ! O!R1 9 HIS USUAL WAY1 & = ! MOM5T HE DID NOT LOOK AT ANY ( US4 

0,Y,\ GO N[1 ,LUBA10 HE SAID PRES5TLY1 AS HE GAVE H] *EEK A MIS*IEV\S P9*4 0,M9D Y\ TELL HIM EV]Y?+4 ,Y\ >E MY GREATE/ S9N]1 Y\ KN[40 

,LUBOT%KA W5T R$ & PALE BY TURNS1 TOOK H] MEMOR&UM PAP] \T ( H] APRON1 REPLAC$ IT1 & F9ALLY MOV$ AWAY T[>DS ! DOORWAY ) H] HEAD SUNK BETWE5 H] %\LD]S AS ?\< %E EXPECT$ TO RECEIVE A BL[ UPON IT FROM ABOVE4 ,%E WAS NOT LONG GONE1 & :5 %E RETURN$ H] %\LD]S W]E %AK+ ) SOBS4 

,AT L5G?--NEXT AFT] ! EXCELL5T ,KAT5KA 7:O CAME \T ( ! DOORWAY ) A SMILE ON H] FACE7--MY TURN >RIV$4 ,I 5T]$ ! DIMLY-LI<T$ ROOM ) ! SAME VAGUE FEEL+ ( AWE1 ! SAME CONSCI\S EAG]NESS TO >\SE ?AT FEEL+ MORE & MORE 9 MY S\L1 ?AT HAD POSSESS$ ME UP TO ! PRES5T MOM5T4 ,! PRIE/1 /&+ 9 FRONT ( A READ+-DESK1 SL[LY TURN$ HIS FACE TO ME4 

,I WAS NOT MORE ?AN FIVE M9UTES 9 ! ROOM1 BUT CAME \T FROM IT HAPPY & 7SO ,I P]SUAD$ MYSELF7 5TIRELY CLEANS$--A NEW1 A MORALLY REBORN 9DIVIDUAL4 ,DESPITE ! FACT ?AT ! OLD SURR\ND+S ( MY LIFE N[ /RUCK ME AS UNFAMILI> 7EV5 ?\< ! ROOMS1 ! FURNITURE1 & MY [N FIGURE--W\LD TO HEAV5S ?AT ,I C\LD HAVE *ANG$ MY \T] MAN = ! BETT] 9 ! SAME WAY ?AT ,I BELIEV$ MYSELF TO HAVE *ANG$ MY 9N] ,I--W]E ! SAME AS BE=E71 ,I REMA9$ 9 ?AT COM=TABLE ATTITUDE ( M9E UNTIL ! V]Y MOM5T ( B$TIME4 

,YET1 NO SOON] HAD ,I BEGUN TO GR[ DR[SY ) ! CONN+ OV] ( MY S9S ?AN 9 A FLA% ,I RECOLLECT$ A P>TICUL>LY %AMEFUL S9 :I* ,I HAD SUPPRESS$ AT CONFESSION TIME4 ,9/ANTLY ! WORDS ( ! PRAY] BE=E CONFESSION CAME BACK TO MY MEMORY & BEGAN S\ND+ 9 MY E>S4 ,MY PEACE WAS GONE = EV]4 0,= IF ?\ CONCEALE/ AU<T1 !N GREAT WILL BE ?Y S940 ,EA* TIME ?AT ! PHRASE RECURR$ TO ME ,I SAW MYSELF A S9N] = :OM NO PUNI%M5T WAS ADEQUATE4 ,LONG DID ,I TOSS FROM SIDE TO SIDE AS ,I CONSID]$ MY POSITION1 :ILE EXPECT+ EV]Y MOM5T TO BE VISIT$ ) ! DIV9E WRA?--TO BE /RUCK ) SUDD5 DEA?1 P]HAPS6--AN 9SUPPORTABLE ?\<T6 ,!N SUDD5LY ! REASSUR+ ?\<T OCCURR$ TO ME3 0,:Y %\LD ,I NOT DRIVE \T TO ! MONA/]Y :5 ! MORN+ COMES1 & SEE ! PRIE/ AGA91 & MAKE A SECOND CONFESSION80 ,!REAFT] ,I GREW CALM]4 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahef 3 ,*APT] #f -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,JUNE #d1 #bba 3 ,*APT] #f -- ,ADD$4 

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