,*APT] #cf 
,! ,UNIV]SITY 

#ahegaheg 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,! W$D+ WAS TO TAKE PLACE 9 TWO WEEKS' TIME1 BUT1 AS \R LECTURES HAD BEGUN ALREADY1 ,WOLODA & MYSELF W]E =C$ TO RETURN TO ,MOSC[ AT ! BEG9N+ ( ,SEPTEMB]4 ,! ,NE*LUD(FS HAD ALSO RETURN$ FROM ! C\NTRY1 & ,DIMITRI 7) :OM1 ON P>T+1 ,I HAD MADE AN AGREEM5T ?AT WE %\LD CORRESPOND FREQU5TLY ) ! RESULT1 ( C\RSE1 ?AT WE HAD NEV] ONCE WRITT5 TO ONE ANO!R7 CAME TO SEE US IMM$IATELY AFT] \R >RIVAL1 & >RANG$ TO ESCORT ME TO MY FIR/ LECTURE ON ! MORR[4 

,IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SUNNY DAY4 ,NO SOON] HAD ,I 5T]$ ! AUDITORIUM ?AN ,I FELT MY P]SONALITY 5TIRELY DISAPPE> AMID ! SW>M ( LI<!>T$ Y\?S :O W]E SEE?+ TUMULTU\SLY ?R\< EV]Y DOORWAY & CORRIDOR UND] ! 9FLU5CE ( ! SUNLI<T P\R+ ?R\< ! GREAT W9D[S4 ,I F\ND ! S5SE ( BE+ A MEMB] ( ?IS HUGE COMMUNITY V]Y PLEAS+1 YET !RE W]E FEW AMONG ! ?RONG :OM ,I KNEW1 & ?AT ONLY ON T]MS ( A NOD & A 0,H[ DO Y\ DO1 ,IRT5IEFF80 

,ALL >\ND ME M5 W]E %AK+ H&S & *ATT+ TOGE!R--FROM EV]Y SIDE CAME EXPRESSIONS ( FRI5D%IP1 LAU<T]1 JE/S1 & BAD9AGE4 ,EV]Y:]E ,I C\LD FEEL ! TIE :I* B\ND ?IS Y\?FUL SOCIETY 9 ONE1 & EV]Y:]E1 TOO1 ,I C\LD FEEL ?AT IT LEFT ME \T4 ,YET ?IS IMPRESSION LA/$ = A MOM5T ONLY1 & WAS SUCCE$$1 TOGE!R ) ! VEXATION :I* IT HAD CAUS$1 BY ! IDEA ?AT IT WAS BE/ ?AT ,I %\LD NOT BELONG TO ?AT SOCIETY1 BUT KEEP TO MY [N CIRCLE ( G5TLEM52 :]E=E ,I PROCE$$ TO SEAT MYSELF UPON ! ?IRD B5*1 )1 AS NEI<BORS1 ,C\NT ,B41 ,B>ON ,Z41 ! ,PR9CE ,R41 ,IW91 & SOME O!R Y\NG M5 ( ! SAME CLASS ) NONE ( :OM1 H[EV]1 WAS ACQUA9T$ SAVE ) ,IW9 & ,C\NT ,B4 ,YET ! LOOK :I* !SE Y\NG G5TLEM5 ?REW AT ME AT ONCE MADE ME FEEL ?AT ,I WAS NOT ( !IR SET1 & ,I TURN$ TO OBS]VE :AT WAS GO+ ON >\ND ME4 ,SEM5(F1 ) GRAY1 MATT$ HAIR1 :ITE TEE?1 & TUNIC FLY+ OP51 WAS SEAT$ A LITTLE DI/ANCE (F1 & LEAN+ =W>D ON HIS ELB[S AS HE NIBBL$ A P51 :ILE ! GYMNASIUM /UD5T :O HAD COME \T FIR/ 9 ! EXAM9ATIONS HAD E/ABLI%$ HIMSELF ON ! FRONT B5*1 &1 ) A BLACK /OCK COM+ HALF-WAY UP HIS *EEK1 WAS TOY+ ) ! SILV] WAT*-*A9 :I* ADORN$ HIS SAT9 WAI/COAT4 ,ON A B5* 9 A RAIS$ P>T ( ! HALL ,I C\LD DESCRY ,IKON9 7EVID5TLY HE HAD CONTRIV$ TO 5T] ! ,UNIV]SITY SOMEH[671 & HE> HIM FUSSILY PROCLAIM+1 9 ALL ! GLORY ( BLUE PIP$ TR\S]S :I* COMPLETELY HID HIS BOOTS1 ?AT HE WAS N[ SEAT$ ON ,P>NASSUS4 ,IL9KA--:O HAD SURPRIS$ ME BY GIV+ ME A B[ NOT ONLY COLD1 BUT SUP]CILI\S1 AS ?\< TO REM9D ME ?AT H]E WE W]E ALL EQUALS--WAS JU/ 9 FRONT ( ME1 ) HIS LEGS RE/+ 9 FREE & EASY /YLE ON ANO!R B5* 7A HIT1 SOMEH[ ,I ?\<T1 AT MYSELF71 & CONV]S+ ) A /UD5T AS HE ?REW OCCASIONAL GLANCES 9 MY DIRECTION4 ,IW9'S SET BY MY SIDE W]E TALK+ 9 ,FR5*1 YET EV]Y WORD :I* ,I OV]HE>D ( !IR CONV]SATION SEEM$ TO ME BO? /UPID & 9CORRECT 70,CE N'E/ PAS FRANCAIS10 ,I ?\<T TO MYSELF71 :ILE ALL ! ATTITUDES1 UTT]ANCES1 & DO+S ( ,SEM5(F1 ,IL9KA1 & ! RE/ /RUCK ME AS UNI=MLY CO>SE1 UNG5TLEMANLY1 & 0COMME IL NE FAUT PAS40 

,?US1 ATTA*$ TO NO P>TICUL> SET1 ,I FELT ISOLAT$ & UNABLE TO MAKE FRI5DS1 & SO GREW RES5TFUL4 ,ONE ( ! /UD5TS ON ! B5* 9 FRONT ( ME KEPT BIT+ HIS NAILS1 :I* W]E RAW TO ! QUICK ALREADY1 & ?IS SO DISGU/$ ME ?AT ,I $G$ AWAY FROM HIM4 ,9 %ORT1 ,I REMEMB] F9D+ MY FIR/ DAY A MO/ DEPRESS+ AFFAIR4 

,:5 ! PR(ESSOR 5T]$1 & !RE WAS A G5]AL /IR & A CESSATION ( *ATT]1 ,I REMEMB] ?R[+ A SCORNFUL GLANCE AT HIM1 AS ALSO ?AT HE BEGAN HIS DISC\RSE ) A S5T5CE :I* ,I ?\<T DEVOID ( MEAN+4 ,I HAD EXPECT$ ! LECTURE TO BE1 FROM FIR/ TO LA/1 SO CLEV] ?AT NOT A WORD \<T TO BE TAK5 FROM OR ADD$ TO IT4 ,DISAPPO9T$ 9 ?IS1 ,I AT ONCE PROCE$$ TO DRAW B5EA? ! HEAD+ 0,FIR/ ,LECTURE0 ) :I* ,I HAD ADORN$ MY BEAUTIFULLY-B\ND NOTEBOOK NO LESS ?AN EI<TE5 FACES 9 PR(ILE1 JO9$ TOGE!R 9 A SORT ( *APLET1 & ONLY OCCASIONALLY MOV$ MY H& ALONG ! PAGE 9 ORD] TO GIVE ! PR(ESSOR 7:O1 ,I FELT SURE1 MU/ BE GREATLY 9T]E/$ 9 ME7 ! IMPRESSION ?AT ,I WAS WRIT+ SOME?+4 ,9 FACT1 AT ?IS V]Y FIR/ LECTURE ,I CAME TO ! DECISION :I* ,I MA9TA9$ TO ! 5D ( MY C\RSE1 NAMELY1 ?AT IT WAS UNNECESS>Y1 & EV5 /UPID1 TO TAKE D[N EV]Y WORD SAID BY EV]Y PR(ESSOR4 

,AT SUBSEQU5T LECTURES1 H[EV]1 ,I DID NOT FEEL MY ISOLATION SO /RONGLY1 S9CE ,I MADE SEV]AL ACQUA9TANCES & GOT 9TO ! WAY ( %AK+ H&S & 5T]+ 9TO CONV]SATION4 ,YET = SOME REASON OR ANO!R NO REAL 9TIMACY EV] SPRANG UP BETWE5 US1 & ,I (T5 F\ND MYSELF DEPRESS$ & ONLY FEIGN+ *E]FULNESS4 ,) ! SET :I* COMPRIS$ ,IW9 & 0! >I/OCRATS10 AS !Y W]E G5]ALLY KN[N1 ,I C\LD NOT MAKE ANY HEADWAY AT ALL1 =1 AS ,I N[ REMEMB]1 ,I WAS ALWAYS %Y & *URLI% TO !M1 & NODD$ TO !M ONLY :5 !Y NODD$ TO ME2 SO ?AT !Y HAD LITTLE 9DUCEM5T TO DESIRE MY ACQUA9TANCE4 ,) MO/ ( ! O!R /UD5TS1 H[EV]1 ?IS >OSE FROM QUITE A DIFF]5T CAUSE4 ,AS SOON AS EV] ,I DISC]N$ FRI5DL9ESS ON ! P>T ( A COMRADE1 ,I AT ONCE GAVE HIM TO UND]/& ?AT ,I W5T TO LUN*EON ) ,PR9CE ,IVAN ,IVANOVIT* & KEPT MY [N DROZHKI4 ,ALL ?IS ,I SAID M]ELY TO %[ MYSELF 9 ! MO/ FAVORABLE LI<T 9 HIS EYES1 & TO 9DUCE HIM TO LIKE ME ALL ! MORE2 YET ALMO/ 9V>IABLY ! ONLY RESULT ( MY COMMUNICAT+ TO HIM ! 9TELLIG5CE CONC]N+ ! DROZHKI & MY RELATION%IP TO ,PR9CE ,IVAN ,IVANOVIT* WAS ?AT1 TO MY A/ONI%M5T1 HE AT ONCE ADOPT$ A COLD & HAU<TY BE>+ T[>DS ME4 

,AMONG US WE HAD A ,CR[N /UD5T NAM$ ,OP](F--A V]Y MODE/1 9DU/RI\S1 & CLEV] Y\NG FELL[1 :O ALWAYS (F]$ ONE HIS H& LIKE A SLAB ( WOOD 7?AT IS TO SAY1 )\T CLOS+ HIS F+]S OR MAK+ ! SLI<TE/ MOVEM5T ) !M72 ) ! RESULT ?AT HIS COMRADES (T5 DID ! SAME TO HIM 9 JE/1 & CALL$ IT ! 0DEAL BO>D0 WAY ( %AK+ H&S4 ,HE & ,I NE>LY ALWAYS SAT NEXT TO ONE ANO!R1 & DISCUSS$ MATT]S G5]ALLY4 ,9 P>TICUL> HE PLEAS$ ME ) ! FRE$OM ) :I* HE W\LD CRITICIZE ! PR(ESSORS AS HE PO9T$ \T TO ME ) GREAT CLE>NESS & ACUM5 ! M]ITS OR DEM]ITS ( !IR RESPECTIVE WAYS ( TEA*+ & MADE OCCASIONAL FUN ( !M4 ,SU* REM>KS ,I F\ND EXCE$+LY /RIK+ & DIV]T+ :5 UTT]$ 9 HIS QUIET1 M9C+ VOICE4 ,NEV]!LESS HE NEV] LET A LECTURE PASS )\T TAK+ C>EFUL NOTES ( IT 9 HIS F9E H&WRIT+1 & EV5TUALLY WE DECID$ TO JO9 =CES1 & TO DO \R PREP>ATION TOGE!R4 ,?+S HAD PROGRESS$ TO ! PO9T ( HIS ALWAYS LOOK+ PLEAS$ :5 ,I TOOK MY USUAL SEAT BESIDE HIM :51 UN=TUNATELY1 ,I ONE DAY F\ND IT NECESS>Y TO 9=M HIM ?AT1 BE=E H] DEA?1 MY MO!R HAD BES\<T MY FA!R NEV] TO ALL[ US TO 5T] = A GOV]NM5T S*OL>%IP1 AS WELL AS ?AT ,I MYSELF CONSID]$ ,CR[N /UD5TS1 NO MATT] H[ CLEV]1 TO BE-0WELL1 !Y >E NOT ,G,5,T,L,E,M,510 ,I CONCLUD$1 ?\< BEG9N+ TO FL\ND] A LITTLE & GR[ R$4 ,AT ! MOM5T ,OP](F SAID NO?+1 BUT AT SUBSEQU5T LECTURES HE CEAS$ TO GREET ME OR TO (F] ME HIS BO>D-LIKE H&1 & NEV] ATTEMPT$ TO TALK TO ME1 BUT1 AS SOON AS EV] ,I SAT D[N1 HE W\LD LEAN HIS HEAD UPON HIS >M1 & PURPORT TO BE ABSORB$ 9 HIS NOTEBOOKS4 ,I WAS SURPRIS$ AT ?IS SUDD5 COOLNESS1 BUT LOOK$ UPON IT AS 9FRA DIG1 0P\R UN JEUNE HOMME DE BONNE MAISON0 TO CURRY FAVOR ) A M]E ,CR[N /UD5T ( AN ,OP](F1 & SO LEFT HIM SEV]ELY ALONE--?\< ,I CONFESS ?AT HIS ALO(NESS HURT MY FEEL+S4 ,ON ONE OCCASION ,I >RIV$ BE=E HIM1 &1 S9CE ! LECTURE WAS TO BE DELIV]$ BY A POPUL> PR(ESSOR :OM /UD5TS CAME TO HE> :O DID NOT USUALLY ATT5D SU* FUNCTIONS1 ,I F\ND ALMO/ EV]Y SEAT OCCUPI$4 ,ACCORD+LY ,I SECUR$ ,OP](F'S PLACE = MYSELF BY SPREAD+ MY NOTEBOOKS ON ! DESK BE=E IT2 AFT] :I* ,I LEFT ! ROOM AGA9 = A MOM5T4 ,:5 ,I RETURN$ ,I P]CEIV$ ?AT MY P>APH]NALIA HAD BE5 RELEGAT$ TO ! B5* BEH9D1 & ! PLACE TAK5 BY ,OP](F HIMSELF4 ,I REM>K$ TO HIM ?AT ,I HAD ALREADY SECUR$ IT BY PLAC+ MY NOTEBOOKS !RE4 

0,I KN[ NO?+ AB\T ?AT10 HE REPLI$ %>PLY1 YET )\T LOOK+ UP AT ME4 

0,I TELL Y\ ,I PLAC$ MY NOTEBOOKS !RE10 ,I REPEAT$1 PURPOSELY TRY+ TO BLU/]1 9 ! HOPE ( 9TIMIDAT+ HIM4 0,EV]Y ONE SAW ME DO IT10 ,I ADD$1 9CLUD+ ! /UD5TS NE> ME 9 MY GLANCE4 ,SEV]AL ( !M LOOK$ AT ME ) CURIOSITY1 YET NONE ( !M SPOKE4 

0,SEATS CANNOT BE BOOK$ H]E10 SAID ,OP](F4 0,:OEV] FIR/ SITS D[N 9 A PLACE KEEPS IT10 &1 SETTL+ HIMSELF ANGRILY :]E HE WAS1 HE FLA%$ AT ME A GLANCE ( DEFIANCE4 

0,WELL1 ?AT ONLY MEANS ?AT Y\ >E A CAD10 ,I SAID4 

,I HAVE AN IDEA ?AT HE MURMUR$ SOME?+ AB\T MY BE+ 0A /UPID Y\NG IDIOT10 BUT ,I DECID$ NOT TO HE> IT4 ,:AT W\LD BE ! USE1 ,I ASK$ MYSELF1 ( MY HE>+ IT8 ,?AT WE %\LD BRAWL LIKE A C\PLE ( MANANTS OV] LESS ?AN NO?+8 7,I WAS V]Y FOND ( ! WORD MANANTS1 & (T5 US$ IT = MEET+ AWKW>D JUNCTURES47 ,P]HAPS ,I %\LD HAVE SAID SOME?+ MORE HAD NOT1 AT ?AT MOM5T1 A DOOR SLAMM$ & ! PR(ESSOR 7DRESS$ 9 A BLUE FROCKCOAT1 & %UFFL+ HIS FEET AS HE WALK$7 ASC5D$ ! RO/RUM4 

,NEV]!LESS1 :5 ! EXAM9ATION WAS AB\T TO COME ON1 & ,I HAD NE$ ( SOME ONE'S NOTEBOOKS1 ,OP](F REMEMB]$ HIS PROMISE TO L5D ME HIS1 & WE DID \R PREP>ATION TOGE!R4 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahef 3 ,*APT] #cf -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,JUNE #d1 #bba 3 ,*APT] #cf -- ,ADD$4 

 FILE G5]AT$ FROM 3  
HTTP3_/_/REVOLTLIB4COM_/