,*APT] #a 
,:AT ,I ,CONSID] ,TO ,HAVE ,BE5 ,! ,BEG9N+ ,( ,MY ,Y\? 

#ahegaheg 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,I HAVE SAID ?AT MY FRI5D%IP ) ,DIMITRI OP5$ UP = ME A NEW VIEW ( MY LIFE & ( ITS AIM & RELATIONS4 ,! ESS5CE ( ?AT VIEW LAY 9 ! CONVICTION ?AT ! DE/9Y ( MAN IS TO /RIVE = MORAL IMPROVEM5T1 & ?AT SU* IMPROVEM5T IS AT ONCE EASY1 POSSIBLE1 & LA/+4 ,HI!RTO1 H[EV]1 ,I HAD F\ND PLEASURE ONLY 9 ! NEW IDEAS :I* ,I DISCOV]$ TO >ISE FROM ?AT CONVICTION1 & 9 ! =M+ ( BRILLIANT PLANS = A MORAL1 ACTIVE FUTURE1 :ILE ALL ! TIME MY LIFE HAD BE5 CONT9U+ ALONG ITS OLD PETTY1 MUDDL$1 PLEASURE-SEEK+ C\RSE1 & ! SAME VIRTU\S ?\<TS :I* ,I & MY ADOR$ FRI5D ,DIMITRI 70MY [N M>VEL\S ,MITIA10 AS ,I US$ TO CALL HIM TO MYSELF 9 A :ISP]7 HAD BE5 WONT TO EX*ANGE ) ONE ANO!R /ILL PLEAS$ MY 9TELLECT1 BUT LEFT MY S5SIBILITY UNT\*$4 ,NEV]!LESS !RE CAME A MOM5T :5 ?OSE ?\<TS SWEPT 9TO MY HEAD ) A SUDD5 FRE%NESS & =CE ( MORAL REVELATION :I* LEFT ME A<A/ AT ! AM\NT ( TIME :I* ,I HAD BE5 WA/+1 & MADE ME FEEL AS ?\< ,I MU/ AT ONCE--?AT V]Y SECOND--APPLY ?OSE ?\<TS TO LIFE1 ) ! FIRM 9T5TION ( NEV] AGA9 *ANG+ !M4 

,IT IS FROM ?AT MOM5T ?AT ,I DATE ! BEG9N+ ( MY Y\?4 

,I WAS !N NE>LY SIXTE54 ,TUTORS /ILL ATT5D$ TO GIVE ME LESSONS1 ,/4 ,J]OME /ILL ACT$ AS G5]AL SUP]VISOR ( MY $UCATION1 &1 WILLY-NILLY1 ,I WAS BE+ PREP>$ = ! ,UNIV]SITY4 ,9 ADDITION TO MY /UDIES1 MY OCCUPATIONS 9CLUD$ C]TA9 VAGUE DREAM+S & POND]+S1 A NUMB] ( GYMNA/IC EX]CISES TO MAKE MYSELF ! F9E/ A?LETE 9 ! WORLD1 A GOOD DEAL ( AIMLESS1 ?\<TLESS W&]+ ?R\< ! ROOMS ( ! H\SE 7BUT MORE ESPECIALLY ALONG ! MAIDS]VANTS' CORRIDOR71 & MU* LOOK+ AT MYSELF 9 ! MIRROR4 ,FROM ! LATT]1 H[EV]1 ,I ALWAYS TURN$ AWAY ) A VAGUE FEEL+ ( DEPRESSION1 ALMO/ ( REPULSION4 ,NOT ONLY DID ,I FEEL SURE ?AT MY EXT]IOR WAS UGLY1 BUT ,I C\LD D]IVE NO COM=T FROM ANY ( ! USUAL CONSOLATIONS UND] SU* CIRCUM/ANCES4 ,I C\LD NOT SAY1 = 9/ANCE1 ?AT ,I HAD AT LEA/ AN EXPRESSIVE1 CLEV]1 OR REF9$ FACE1 = !RE WAS NO?+ :ATEV] EXPRESSIVE AB\T IT4 ,ITS FEATURES W]E ( ! MO/ HUMDRUM1 DULL1 & UNBECOM+ TYPE1 ) SMALL GRAY EYES :I* SEEM$ TO ME1 :5EV] ,I REG>D$ !M 9 ! MIRROR1 TO BE /UPID RA!R ?AN CLEV]4 ,( MANLY BE>+ ,I POSSESS$ EV5 LESS1 S9CE1 AL?\< ,I WAS NOT EXACTLY SMALL ( /ATURE1 & HAD1 MOREOV]1 PL5TY ( /R5G? = MY YE>S1 EV]Y FEATURE 9 MY FACE WAS ( ! MEEK1 SLEEPY-LOOK+1 9DEF9ITE TYPE4 ,EV5 REF9EM5T WAS LACK+ 9 IT1 S9CE1 ON ! CONTR>Y1 IT PRECISELY RESEMBL$ ?AT ( A SIMPLE-LOOK+ M\JIK1 :ILE ,I ALSO HAD ! SAME BIG H&S & FEET AS HE4 ,AT ! TIME1 ALL ?IS SEEM$ TO ME V]Y %AMEFUL4 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahef 3 ,*APT] #a -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,JUNE #b1 #bba 3 ,*APT] #a -- ,ADD$4 

 FILE G5]AT$ FROM 3  
HTTP3_/_/REVOLTLIB4COM_/