,*APT] #g 

#ahhgahhg 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,! UN=TUNATES :OM ,I NOT$ D[N1 DIVID$ !MSELVES1 ACCORD+ TO MY IDEAS1 9TO ?REE SECTIONS1 NAMELY3 PEOPLE :O HAD LO/ !IR =M] ADVANTAGE\S POSITION1 & :O W]E AWAIT+ A RETURN TO IT 7!RE W]E PEOPLE ( ?IS SORT FROM BO? ! L[] & ! HI<] CLASS72 NEXT1 DISSOLUTE WOM51 ( :OM !RE >E A GREAT MANY 9 !SE H\SES2 & A ?IRD DIVISION1 *ILDR54  ,MORE ?AN ALL ! RE/1 ,I F\ND & NOT$ D[N PEOPLE ( ! FIR/ DIVISION1 :O HAD =FEIT$ !IR =M] ADVANTAGE\S POSITION1 & :O HOP$ TO REGA9 IT4  ,( SU* P]SONS1 ESPECIALLY FROM ! GOV]NM5TAL & (FICIAL WORLD1 !RE >E A V]Y GREAT NUMB] 9 !SE H\SES4  ,9 ALMO/ ALL ! LODG+S :I* WE 5T]$1 ) ! L&LORD1 ,IVAN ,F$OTIT*1 HE SAID TO US3 0,H]E Y\ NE$ NOT WRITE D[N ! LODG]'S C>D Y\RSELF2 !RE IS A MAN H]E :O CAN DO IT1 IF HE ONLY HAPP5S NOT TO BE 9TOXICAT$ TO-DAY40 

,& ,IVAN ,F$OTIT* CALL$ BY NAME & PATRONYMIC ?IS MAN1 :O WAS ALWAYS ONE ( ?OSE P]SONS :O HAD FALL5 FROM A L(TY POSITION4  ,AT ,IVAN ,F$OTIT*'S CALL1 !RE CRAWL$ =? FROM SOME D>K CORN]1 A =M] WEAL?Y MEMB] ( ! NOBLE OR (FICIAL CLASS1 G5]ALLY 9TOXICAT$ & ALWAYS UNDRESS$4  ,IF HE WAS NOT DRUNK1 HE ALWAYS READILY ACC$$ TO ! TASK PROPOS$ TO HIM1 NODD$ SIGNIFICANTLY1 FR[N$1 SET D[N HIS REM>KS 9 LE>N$ PHRASEOLOGY1 HELD ! C>D NEATLY PR9T$ ON R$ PAP] 9 HIS DIRTY1 TREMBL+ H&S1 & GLANC$ R\ND AT HIS FELL[-LODG]S ) PRIDE & CONTEMPT1 AS ?\< N[ TRIUMPH+ 9 HIS $UCATION OV] ?OSE :O HAD SO (T5 HUMILIAT$ HIM4  ,HE EVID5TLY 5JOY$ 9T]C\RSE ) ?AT WORLD 9 :I* C>DS >E PR9T$ ON R$ PAP]1 & ) ?AT WORLD ( :I* HE HAD ONCE =M$ A P>T4  ,NE>LY ALWAYS1 9 ANSW] TO MY 9QUIRIES AB\T HIS LIFE1 ! MAN BEGAN1 NOT ONLY WILL+LY1 BUT EAG]LY1 TO RELATE ! /ORY ( ! MIS=TUNES :I* HE HAD UND]GONE1--:I* HE HAD LE>N$ BY ROTE LIKE A PRAY]1--& P>TICUL>LY ( HIS =M] POSITION1 9 :I* HE \<T /ILL TO BE BY RI<T ( HIS $UCATION4 

,A GREAT MANY SU* PEOPLE W]E SCATT]$ OV] ALL ! CORN]S ( ! ,RZHAN(F H\SE4  ,BUT ONE LODG+ WAS D5SELY OCCUPI$ BY !M ALONE--BO? M5 & WOM54  ,AFT] WE HAD ALREADY 5T]$1 ,IVAN ,F$OTIT* SAID TO US3 0,N[1 H]E >E SOME ( ! NOBILITY40  ,! LODG+ WAS P]FECTLY CRAMM$2 NE>LY ALL ( ! PEOPLE1 =TY 9 NUMB]1 W]E AT HOME4  ,MORE DEMORALIZ$ C\NT5ANCES1 UNHAPPY1 AG$1 & SWOLL51 Y\NG1 PALLID1 & DI/RACT$1 W]E NOT TO BE SE5 9 ! :OLE BUILD+4  ,I CONV]S$ ) SEV]AL ( !M4  ,! /ORY WAS NE>LY ID5TICAL 9 ALL CASES1 ONLY 9 V>I\S /AGES ( DEVELOPM5T4  ,EV]Y ONE ( !M HAD BE5 RI*1 OR HIS FA!R1 HIS BRO!R OR HIS UNCLE WAS /ILL WEAL?Y1 OR HIS FA!R OR HE HIMSELF HAD HAD A V]Y F9E POSITION4  ,!N MIS=TUNE HAD OV]TAK5 HIM1 ! BLAME = :I* RE/$ EI!R ON 5VI\S PEOPLE1 OR ON HIS [N K9DHE>T$NESS1 OR SOME SPECIAL *ANCE1 & SO HE HAD LO/ EV]Y ?+1 & HAD BE5 =C$ TO CONDESC5D TO !SE SURR\ND+S TO :I* HE WAS NOT ACCU/OM$1 & :I* W]E HATEFUL TO HIM--AMONG LICE1 RAGS1 AMONG DRUNK>DS & CORRUPT P]SONS1 & TO N\RI% HIMSELF ON BREAD & LIV]1 & TO EXT5D HIS H& 9 BEGG>Y4  ,ALL ! ?\<TS1 DESIRES1 MEMORIES ( !SE PEOPLE W]E DIRECT$ EXCLUSIVELY TO ! PA/4  ,! PRES5T APPE>$ TO !M SOME?+ UNREAL1 REPULSIVE1 & NOT WOR?Y ( ATT5TION4  ,NOT ONE ( !M HAD ANY PRES5T4  ,!Y HAD ONLY MEMORIES ( ! PA/1 & EXPECTATIONS FROM ! FUTURE1 :I* MI<T BE REALIZ$ AT ANY MOM5T1 & = ! REALIZATION ( :I* ONLY A V]Y LITTLE WAS REQUIR$2 BUT ?IS LITTLE !Y DID NOT POSSESS1 IT WAS NO:]E TO BE OBTA9$1 & ?IS HAD BE5 RU9+ !IR :OLE FUTURE LIFE 9 VA91 9 ! CASE ( ONE MAN1 = A YE>1 ( A SECOND = FIVE YE>S1 & ( A ?IRD = ?IRTY YE>S4  ,ALL ONE NE$$ WAS M]ELY TO DRESS RESPECTABLY1 SO ?AT HE C\LD PRES5T HIMSELF TO A C]TA9 P]SONAGE1 :O WAS WELL-DISPOS$ T[>DS HIM ANO!R ONLY NE$$ TO BE ABLE TO DRESS1 PAY (F HIS DEBTS1 & GET TO ,OREL2 A ?IRD REQUIR$ TO R$EEM A SMALL PROP]TY :I* WAS MORTGAG$1 = ! CONT9UATION ( A LAW-SUIT1 :I* MU/ BE DECID$ 9 HIS FAVOR1 & !N ALL W\LD BE WELL ONCE MORE4  ,!Y ALL DECL>E ?AT !Y M]ELY REQUIRE SOME?+ EXT]NAL1 9 ORD] TO /& ONCE MORE 9 ! POSITION :I* !Y REG>D AS NATURAL & HAPPY 9 !IR [N CASE4 

,HAD MY M9D NOT BE5 OBSCUR$ BY MY PRIDE AS A B5EFACTOR1 A GLANCE AT !IR FACES1 BO? OLD & Y\NG1 :I* W]E MO/LY WEAK & S5SITIVE1 BUT AMIABLE1 W\LD HAVE GIV5 ME TO UND]/& ?AT !IR MIS=TUNES W]E IRREP>ABLE BY ANY EXT]NAL MEANS1 ?AT !Y C\LD NOT BE HAPPY 9 ANY POSITION :ATEV]1 IF !IR VIEWS ( LIFE W]E TO REMA9 UN*ANG$1 ?AT !Y W]E 9 NO WISE REM>KABLE PEOPLE1 9 REM>KABLY UN=TUNATE CIRCUM/ANCES1 BUT ?AT !Y W]E ! SAME PEOPLE :O SURR\ND US ON ALL SIDES1 & JU/ LIKE \RSELVES4  ,I REMEMB] ?AT 9T]C\RSE ) ?IS SORT ( UN=TUNATES WAS PECULI>LY DIFFICULT = ME4  ,I N[ UND]/& :Y ?IS WAS SO2 9 !M ,I BEHELD MYSELF1 AS 9 A MIRROR4  ,IF ,I HAD REFLECT$ ON MY [N LIFE & ON ! LIFE ( ! PEOPLE 9 \R CIRCLE1 ,I %\LD HAVE SE5 ?AT NO REAL DIFF]5CE EXI/$ BETWE5 !M4 

,IF ?OSE AB\T ME DWELL 9 SPACI\S QU>T]S1 & 9 !IR [N H\SES ON ! ,SIVTZEVY ,VRAZHOK & ON ! ,DIMITROVKA1 & NOT 9 ! ,RZHAN(F H\SE1 & /ILL EAT & DR9K DA9TIES1 & NOT LIV] & H]R+S ) BREAD1 ?AT DOES NOT PREV5T !M FROM BE+ EXACTLY AS UNHAPPY4  ,!Y >E JU/ AS DISSATISFI$ ) !IR [N POSITIONS1 !Y M\RN OV] ! PA/1 & P9E = BETT] ?+S1 & ! IMPROV$ POSITION = :I* !Y LONG IS PRECISELY ! SAME AS ?AT :I* ! 9HABITANTS ( ! ,RZHAN(F H\SE LONG =2 ?AT IS TO SAY1 ONE 9 :I* !Y MAY DO AS LITTLE WORK AS POSSIBLE !MSELVES1 & D]IVE ! UTMO/ ADVANTAGE FROM ! LABORS ( O!RS4  ,! DIFF]5CE IS M]ELY ONE ( DEGREES & TIME4  ,IF ,I HAD REFLECT$ AT ?AT TIME1 ,I %\LD HAVE UND]/OOD ?IS2 BUT ,I DID NOT REFLECT1 & ,I QUE/ION$ !SE PEOPLE1 & WROTE !M D[N1 SUPPOS+1 ?AT1 HAV+ LE>N$ ALL ! P>TICUL>S ( !IR V>I\S CONDITIONS & NECESSITIES1 ,I C\LD AID !M LAT] ON4  ,I DID NOT UND]/& ?AT SU* A MAN CAN ONLY BE HELP$ BY *ANG+ HIS VIEWS ( ! WORLD4  ,BUT 9 ORD] TO *ANGE ! VIEWS ( ANO!R1 ONE MU/ NE$S HAVE BETT] VIEWS HIMSELF1 & LIVE 9 CON=MITY ) !M2 BUT M9E W]E PRECISELY ! SAME AS !IRS1 & ,I LIV$ 9 ACCORDANCE ) ?OSE VIEWS1 :I* MU/ UND]GO A *ANGE1 9 ORD] ?AT !SE PEOPLE MI<T CEASE TO BE UNHAPPY4 

,I DID NOT SEE ?AT !SE PEOPLE W]E UNHAPPY1 NOT BECAUSE !Y HAD NOT1 SO TO SPEAK1 N\RI%+ FOOD1 BUT BECAUSE !IR /OMA*S HAD BE5 SPOIL$1 & BECAUSE !IR APPETITES DEM&$ NOT N\RI%+ BUT IRRITAT+ VI&S2 & ,I DID NOT P]CEIVE ?AT1 9 ORD] TO HELP !M1 IT WAS NOT NECESS>Y TO GIVE !M FOOD1 BUT ?AT IT WAS NECESS>Y TO HEAL !IR DISORD]$ /OMA*S4  ,AL?\< ,I AM ANTICIPAT+ BY SO DO+1 ,I WILL M5TION H]E1 ?AT1 \T ( ALL !SE P]SONS :OM ,I NOT$ D[N1 ,I REALLY DID NOT HELP A S+LE ONE1 9 SPITE ( ! FACT ?AT = SOME ( !M1 ?AT WAS DONE :I* !Y DESIR$1 & ?AT :I*1 APP>5TLY1 MI<T HAVE RAIS$ !M4  ,?REE ( !IR NUMB] W]E P>TICUL>LY WELL KN[N TO ME4  ,ALL ?REE1 AFT] REPEAT$ RISES & FALLS1 >E N[ 9 PRECISELY ! SAME SITUATION 9 :I* !Y W]E ?REE YE>S AGO4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahhf 3 ,*APT] #g -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,JANU>Y #a#d1 #bb 3 ,*APT] #g -- ,ADD$4 

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