,*APT] #c 

#ahhgahhg 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,?AT V]Y EV5+1 ON MY RETURN FROM ! ,LYAP9SKY H\SE1 ,I RELAT$ MY IMPRESSIONS TO A FRI5D4  ,! FRI5D1 AN 9HABITANT ( ! CITY1 BEGAN TO TELL ME1 NOT )\T SATISFACTION1 ?AT ?IS WAS ! MO/ NATURAL PH5OM5ON ( T[N LIFE POSSIBLE1 ?AT ,I ONLY SAW SOME?+ EXTRAORD9>Y 9 IT BECAUSE ( MY PROV9CIALISM1 ?AT IT HAD ALWAYS BE5 SO1 & ALWAYS W\LD BE SO1 & ?AT SU* MU/ BE & IS ! 9EVITABLE CONDITION ( CIVILIZATION4  ,9 ,LONDON IT IS EV5 WORSE4  ,( C\RSE !RE IS NO?+ WRONG AB\T IT1 & IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE DISPLEAS$ ) IT4  ,I BEGAN TO REPLY TO MY FRI5D1 BUT ) SO MU* HEAT & ILL-TEMP]1 ?AT MY WIFE RAN 9 FROM ! ADJO9+ ROOM TO 9QUIRE :AT HAD HAPP5$4  ,IT APPE>S ?AT1 )\T BE+ CONSCI\S ( IT MYSELF1 ,I HAD BE5 %\T+1 ) TE>S 9 MY VOICE1 & FL\RI%+ MY H&S AT MY FRI5D4  ,I %\T$3 0,IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE ?US1 IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE ?US1 IMPOSSIBLE60  ,!Y MADE ME FEEL A%AM$ ( MY UNNECESS>Y W>M?2 !Y TOLD ME ?AT ,I C\LD NOT TALK QUIETLY AB\T ANY ?+1 ?AT ,I GOT DISAGREEABLY EXCIT$2 & !Y PROV$ TO ME1 ESPECIALLY1 ?AT ! EXI/5CE ( SU* UN=TUNATES C\LD NOT POSSIBLY FURNI% ANY EXCUSE = IMBITT]+ ! LIVES ( ?OSE AB\T ME4 

,I FELT ?AT ?IS WAS P]FECTLY JU/1 & HELD MY PEACE2 BUT 9 ! DEP?S ( MY S\L ,I WAS CONSCI\S ?AT ,I WAS 9 ! RI<T1 & ,I C\LD NOT REGA9 MY COMPOSURE4 

,& ! LIFE ( ! CITY1 :I* HAD1 EV5 BE=E ?IS1 BE5 SO /RANGE & REPELL5T TO ME1 N[ DISGU/$ ME TO SU* A DEGREE1 ?AT ALL ! PLEASURES ( A LIFE ( LUXURY1 :I* HAD HI!RTO APPE>$ TO ME AS PLEASURES1 BECOME TORTURES TO ME4  ,& TRY AS ,I W\LD1 TO DISCOV] 9 MY [N S\L ANY JU/IFICATION :ATEV] = \R LIFE1 ,I C\LD NOT1 )\T IRRITATION1 BEHOLD EI!R MY [N OR O!R PEOPLE'S DRAW+-ROOMS1 NOR \R TABLES SPREAD 9 ! LORDLY /YLE1 NOR \R EQUIPAGES & HORSES1 NOR %OPS1 !AT]S1 & ASSEMBLIES4  ,I C\LD NOT BEHOLD ALONGSIDE !SE ! HUNGRY1 COLD1 & D[N-TRODD5 9HABITANTS ( ! ,LYAP9SKY H\SE4  ,& ,I C\LD NOT RID MYSELF ( ! ?\<T ?AT !SE TWO ?+S W]E B\ND UP TOGE!R1 ?AT ! ONE >OSE FROM ! O!R4  ,I REMEMB]1 ?AT1 AS ?IS FEEL+ ( MY [N GUILT PRES5T$ ITSELF TO ME AT ! FIR/ BLU%1 SO IT P]SI/$ 9 ME1 BUT TO ?IS FEEL+ A SECOND WAS SPE$ILY ADD$ :I* OV]%AD[$ IT4 

,:5 ,I M5TION$ MY IMPRESSIONS ( ! ,LYAP9SKY H\SE TO MY NE>E/ FRI5DS & ACQUA9TANCES1 !Y ALL GAVE ME ! SAME ANSW] AS ! FIR/ FRI5D AT :OM ,I HAD BEGUN TO %\T2 BUT1 9 ADDITION TO ?IS1 !Y EXPRESS$ !IR APPROBATION ( MY K9DNESS ( HE>T & MY S5SIBILITY1 & GAVE ME TO UND]/& ?AT ?IS SI<T HAD SO ESPECIALLY WORK$ UPON ME BECAUSE ,I1 ,LY( ,NIKOLAEVIT*1 WAS V]Y K9D & GOOD4  ,& ,I WILL+LY BELIEV$ ?IS4  ,& BE=E ,I HAD TIME TO LOOK AB\T ME1 9/EAD ( ! FEEL+ ( SELF-REPROA* & REGRET1 :I* ,I HAD AT FIR/ EXP]I5C$1 !RE CAME A S5SE ( SATISFACTION ) MY [N K9DL9ESS1 & A DESIRE TO EXHIBIT IT TO PEOPLE4 

0,IT REALLY MU/ BE10 ,I SAID TO MYSELF1 0?AT ,I AM NOT ESPECIALLY RESPONSIBLE = ?IS BY ! LUXURY ( MY LIFE1 BUT ?AT IT IS ! 9DISP5SABLE CONDITIONS ( EXI/5CE ?AT >E TO BLAME4  ,9 TRU?1 A *ANGE 9 MY MODE ( LIFE CANNOT RECTIFY ! EVIL :I* ,I HAVE SE53 BY ALT]+ MY MANN] ( LIFE1 ,I %ALL ONLY MAKE MYSELF & ?OSE AB\T ME UNHAPPY1 & ! O!R MIS]IES WILL REMA9 ! SAME AS EV]4  ,& !RE=E MY PROBLEM LIES NOT 9 A *ANGE ( MY [N LIFE1 AS IT HAD FIR/ SEEM$ TO ME1 BUT 9 AID+1 SO F> AS 9 ME LIES1 9 ! AMELIORATION ( ! SITUATION ( ?OSE UN=TUNATE BE+S :O HAVE CALL$ =? MY COMPASSION4  ,! :OLE PO9T LIES H]E1--?AT ,I AM A V]Y K9D1 AMIABLE MAN1 & ?AT ,I WI% TO DO GOOD TO MY NEI<BORS40  ,& ,I BEGAN TO ?9K \T A PLAN ( B5EFIC5T ACTIVITY1 9 :I* ,I MI<T EXHIBIT MY B5EVOL5CE4  ,I MU/ CONFESS1 H[EV]1 ?AT :ILE DEVIS+ ?IS PLAN ( B5EFIC5T ACTIVITY1 ,I FELT ALL ! TIME1 9 ! DEP?S ( MY S\L1 ?AT ?AT WAS NOT ! ?+2 BUT1 AS (T5 HAPP5S1 ACTIVITY ( JUDGM5T & IMAG9ATION DR[N$ ?AT VOICE ( CONSCI5CE )9 ME4  ,AT ?AT JUNCTURE1 ! C5SUS CAME UP4  ,?IS /RUCK ME AS A MEANS = 9/ITUT+ ?AT B5EVOL5CE 9 :I* ,I PROPOS$ TO EXHIBIT MY *>ITABLE DISPOSITION4  ,I KNEW ( MANY *>ITABLE 9/ITUTIONS & SOCIETIES :I* W]E 9 EXI/5CE 9 ,MOSC[1 BUT ALL !IR ACTIVITY SEEM$ TO ME BO? WRONGLY DIRECT$ & 9SIGNIFICANT 9 COMP>ISON ) :AT ,I 9T5D$ TO DO4  ,& ,I DEVIS$ ! FOLL[+ S*EME3 TO >\SE ! SYMPA?Y ( ! WEAL?Y = ! POV]TY ( ! CITY1 TO COLLECT MONEY1 TO GET PEOPLE TOGE!R :O W]E DESIR\S ( ASSI/+ 9 ?IS MATT]1 & TO VISIT ALL ! REFUGES ( POV]TY 9 COMPANY ) ! C5SUS1 &1 9 ADDITION TO ! WORK ( ! C5SUS1 TO 5T] 9TO COMMUNION ) ! UN=TUNATE1 TO LE>N ! P>TICUL>S ( !IR NECESSITIES1 & TO ASSI/ !M ) MONEY1 ) WORK1 BY S5D+ !M AWAY FROM ,MOSC[1 BY PLAC+ !IR *ILDR5 9 S*OOL1 & ! OLD PEOPLE 9 HOSPITALS & ASYLUMS4  ,& NOT ONLY ?AT1 ,I ?\<T1 BUT !SE PEOPLE :O UND]TAKE ?IS CAN BE =M$ 9TO A P]MAN5T SOCIETY1 :I*1 BY DIVID+ ! QU>T]S ( ,MOSC[ AMONG ITS MEMB]S1 WILL BE ABLE TO SEE TO IT ?AT ?IS POV]TY & BEGG>Y %ALL NOT BE BR$2 !Y WILL 9CESSANTLY ANNIHILATE IT AT ITS V]Y 9CEPTION2 !N !Y WILL FULFILL !IR DUTY1 NOT SO MU* BY HEAL+ AS BY A C\RSE ( HYGI5E = ! WRET*$NESS ( ! CITY4  ,I FANCI$ ?AT !RE W\LD BE NO MORE SIMPLY NE$Y1 NOT TO M5TION ABJECTLY POOR P]SONS1 9 ! T[N1 & ?AT ALL ( US WEAL?Y 9DIVIDUALS W\LD !REAFT] BE ABLE TO SIT 9 \R DRAW+-ROOMS1 & EAT \R FIVE-C\RSE D9N]S1 & RIDE 9 \R C>RIAGES TO !AT]S & ASSEMBLIES1 & BE NO LONG] ANNOY$ ) SU* SI<TS AS ,I HAD SE5 AT ! ,LYAP9SKY H\SE4 

,HAV+ CONCOCT$ ?IS PLAN1 ,I WROTE AN >TICLE ON ! SUBJECT2 & BE=E S5D+ IT TO ! PR9T]1 ,I W5T TO SOME ACQUA9TANCES1 FROM :OM ,I HOP$ = SYMPA?Y4  ,I SAID ! SAME ?+ TO EV]Y ONE :OM ,I MET ?AT DAY 7& ,I APPLI$ *IEFLY TO ! RI*71 & NE>LY ! SAME ?AT ,I AFT]W>DS PR9T$ 9 MY MEMOIR2 PROPOS$ TO TAKE ADVANTAGE ( ! C5SUS TO 9QUIRE 9TO ! WRET*$NESS ( ,MOSC[1 & TO SUCCOR IT1 BO? BY DE$S & MONEY1 & TO DO IT 9 SU* A MANN] ?AT !RE %\LD BE NO POOR PEOPLE 9 ,MOSC[1 & SO ?AT WE RI* ONES MI<T BE ABLE1 ) A QUIET CONSCI5CE1 TO 5JOY ! BLESS+S ( LIFE TO :I* WE W]E ACCU/OM$4  ,ALL LI/5$ TO ME ATT5TIVELY & S]I\SLY1 BUT NEV]!LESS ! SAME ID5TICAL ?+ HAPP5$ ) EV]Y ONE ( !M )\T EXCEPTION4  ,NO SOON] DID MY HE>]S COMPREH5D ! QUE/ION1 ?AN !Y SEEM$ TO FEEL AWKW>D & SOME:AT MORTIFI$4  ,!Y SEEM$ TO BE A%AM$1 & PR9CIPALLY ON MY ACC\NT1 BECAUSE ,I WAS TALK+ NONS5SE1 & NONS5SE :I* IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO OP5LY *>ACT]IZE AS SU*4  ,SOME EXT]NAL CAUSE APPE>$ TO COMPEL MY HE>]S TO BE =BE>+ ) ?IS NONS5SE ( M9E4 

0,AH1 YES6 ( C\RSE4  ,?AT W\LD BE V]Y GOOD10 !Y SAID TO ME4  0,IT IS A SELF-UND]/OOD ?+ ?AT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO SYMPA?IZE ) ?IS4  ,YES1 Y\R IDEA IS A CAPITAL ONE4  ,I HAVE ?\<T ( ?AT MYSELF1 BUT 4 4 4 WE >E SO 9DIFF]5T1 AS A RULE1 ?AT Y\ CAN H>DLY C\NT ON MU* SUCCESS 4 4 4 H[EV]1 SO F> AS ,I AM CONC]N$1 ,I AM1 ( C\RSE1 READY TO ASSI/40 

,!Y ALL SAID SOME?+ ( ?IS SORT TO ME4  ,!Y ALL AGRE$1 BUT AGRE$1 SO IT SEEM$ TO ME1 NOT 9 CONSEQU5CE ( MY CONVICTIONS1 & NOT 9 CONSEQU5CE ( !IR [N WI%1 BUT AS ! RESULT ( SOME \TW>D CAUSE1 :I* DID NOT P]MIT !M NOT TO AGREE4  ,I HAD ALREADY NOTIC$ ?IS1 &1 S9CE NOT ONE ( !M /AT$ ! SUM :I* HE WAS WILL+ TO CONTRIBUTE1 ,I WAS OBLIG$ TO FIX IT MYSELF1 & TO ASK3 0,SO ,I MAY C\NT ON Y\ = ?REE HUNDR$1 OR TWO HUNDR$1 OR ONE HUNDR$1 OR TW5TY-FIVE RUBLES80  ,& NOT ONE ( !M GAVE ME ANY MONEY4  ,I M5TION ?IS BECAUSE1 :5 PEOPLE GIVE MONEY = ?AT :I* !Y !MSELVES DESIRE1 !Y G5]ALLY MAKE HA/E TO GIVE IT4  ,= A BOX TO SEE ,S>AH ,B]NH>DT1 !Y WILL 9/ANTLY PLACE ! MONEY 9 Y\R H&1 TO CL9* ! B>GA94  ,H]E1 H[EV]1 \T ( ALL ?OSE :O AGRE$ TO CONTRIBUTE1 & :O EXPRESS$ !IR SYMPA?Y1 NOT ONE ( !M PROPOS$ TO GIVE ME ! MONEY ON ! SPOT1 BUT !Y M]ELY ASS5T$ 9 SIL5CE TO ! SUM :I* ,I SUGGE/$4  ,9 ! LA/ H\SE :I* ,I VISIT$ ON ?AT DAY1 9 ! EV5+1 ,I ACCID5TALLY CAME UPON A L>GE COMPANY4  ,! MI/RESS ( ! H\SE HAD BUSI$ H]SELF ) *>ITY = SEV]AL YE>S4  ,NUM]\S C>RIAGES /OOD AT ! DOOR1 SEV]AL LACKEYS 9 RI* LIV]IES W]E SITT+ 9 ! ANTE-*AMB]4  ,9 ! VA/ DRAW+-ROOM1 >\ND TWO TABLES & LAMPS1 SAT LADIES & Y\NG GIRLS1 9 CO/LY G>M5TS1 DRESS+ SMALL DOLLS2 & !RE W]E SEV]AL Y\NG M5 !RE ALSO1 HOV]+ AB\T ! LADIES4  ,! DOLLS PREP>$ BY !SE LADIES W]E TO BE DRAWN 9 A LOTT]Y = ! POOR4 

,! SI<T ( ?IS DRAW+-ROOM1 & ( ! PEOPLE ASSEMBL$ 9 IT1 /RUCK ME V]Y UNPLEASANTLY4  ,NOT TO M5TION ! FACT ?AT ! PROP]TY ( ! P]SONS !RE CONGREGAT$ AM\NT$ TO MANY MILLIONS1 NOT TO M5TION ! FACT ?AT ! M]E 9COME FROM ! CAPITAL H]E EXP5D$ ON DRESSES1 LACES1 BRONZES1 BROO*ES1 C>RIAGES1 HORSES1 LIV]IES1 & LACKEYS1 WAS A HUNDR$-FOLD GREAT] ?AN ALL ?AT !SE LADIES C\LD E>N2 NOT TO M5TION ! \TLAY1 ! TRIP HI!R ( ALL !SE LADIES & G5TLEM52 ! GLOVES1 L951 EXTRA TIME1 ! C&LES1 ! TEA1 ! SUG>1 & ! CAKES HAD CO/ ! HO/ESS A HUNDR$ TIMES MORE ?AN :AT !Y W]E 5GAG$ 9 MAK+ H]E4  ,I SAW ALL ?IS1 & !RE=E ,I C\LD UND]/&1 ?AT PRECISELY H]E ,I %\LD F9D NO SYMPA?Y ) MY MISSION3 BUT ,I HAD COME 9 ORD] TO MAKE MY PROPOSITION1 &1 DIFFICULT AS ?IS WAS = ME1 ,I SAID :AT ,I 9T5D$4  7,I SAID V]Y NE>LY ! SAME ?+ ?AT IS CONTA9$ 9 MY PR9T$ >TICLE47 

,\T ( ALL ! P]SONS !RE PRES5T1 ONE 9DIVIDUAL (F]$ ME MONEY1 SAY+ ?AT %E DID NOT FEEL EQUAL TO GO+ AMONG ! POOR H]SELF ON ACC\NT ( H] S5SIBILITY1 BUT ?AT %E W\LD GIVE MONEY2 H[ MU* MONEY %E W\LD GIVE1 & :51 %E DID NOT SAY4  ,ANO!R 9DIVIDUAL & A Y\NG MAN (F]$ !IR S]VICES 9 GO+ AB\T AMONG ! POOR1 BUT ,I DID NOT AVAIL MYSELF ( !IR (F]4  ,! PR9CIPAL P]SON TO :OM ,I APPEAL$1 TOLD ME ?AT IT W\LD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO DO MU* BECAUSE MEANS W]E LACK+4  ,MEANS W]E LACK+ BECAUSE ALL ! RI* PEOPLE 9 ,MOSC[ W]E ALREADY ON ! LI/S1 & ALL ( !M W]E ASK$ = ALL ?AT !Y C\LD POSSIBLY GIVE2 BECAUSE ON ALL !SE B5EFACTORS RANK1 M$ALS1 & O!R DIGNITIES W]E BE/[$2 BECAUSE 9 ORD] TO SECURE F9ANCIAL SUCCESS1 SOME NEW DIGNITIES MU/ BE SECUR$ FROM ! AU?ORITIES1 & ?AT ?IS WAS ! ONLY PRACTICAL MEANS1 BUT ?IS WAS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT4 

,ON MY RETURN HOME ?AT NI<T1 ,I LAY D[N TO SLEEP NOT ONLY ) A PRES5TM5T ?AT MY IDEA W\LD COME TO NO?+1 BUT ) %AME & A CONSCI\SNESS ?AT ALL DAY LONG ,I HAD BE5 5GAG$ 9 A V]Y REPULSIVE & DISGRACEFUL BUS9ESS4  ,BUT ,I DID NOT GIVE UP ?IS UND]TAK+4  ,9 ! FIR/ PLACE1 ! MATT] HAD BE5 BEGUN1 & FALSE %AME W\LD HAVE PREV5T$ MY AB&ON+ IT2 9 ! SECOND PLACE1 NOT ONLY ! SUCCESS ( ?IS S*EME1 BUT ! V]Y FACT ?AT ,I WAS BUSY+ MYSELF ) IT1 AF=D$ ME ! POSSIBILITY ( CONT9U+ TO LIVE 9 ! CONDITIONS UND] :I* ,I WAS !N LIV+2 FAILURE 5TAIL$ UPON ME ! NECESSITY ( R5\NC+ MY PRES5T EXI/5CE & ( SEEK+ NEW PA?S ( LIFE4  ,& ?IS ,I UNCONSCI\SLY DREAD$1 & ,I C\LD NOT BELIEVE ! 9W>D VOICE1 & ,I W5T ON ) :AT ,I HAD BEGUN4 

,HAV+ S5T MY >TICLE TO ! PR9T]1 ,I READ ! PRO( ( IT TO ! ,CITY ,C\NCIL 7,DUM74  ,I READ IT1 /UMBL+1 & BLU%+ EV5 TO TE>S1 ,I FELT SO AWKW>D4  ,& ,I SAW ?AT IT WAS EQUALLY AWKW>D = ALL MY HE>]S4  ,9 ANSW] TO MY QUE/ION AT ! CONCLUSION ( MY READ+1 AS TO :E!R ! SUP]9T5D5TS ( ! C5SUS W\LD ACCEPT MY PROPOSITION TO RETA9 !IR PLACES ) ! OBJECT ( BECOM+ M$IATORS BETWE5 SOCIETY & ! NE$Y1 AN AWKW>D SIL5CE 5SU$4  ,!N TWO ORATORS MADE SPEE*ES4  ,!SE SPEE*ES 9 SOME MEASURE CORRECT$ ! AWKW>DNESS ( MY PROPOSAL2 SYMPA?Y = ME WAS EXPRESS$1 BUT ! IMPRACTICABILITY ( MY PROPOSITION1 :I* ALL HAD APPROV$1 WAS DEMON/RAT$4  ,EV]YBODY BREA!D MORE FREELY4  ,BUT :51 /ILL DESIR\S ( GA9+ MY OBJECT1 ,I AFT]W>DS ASK$ ! SUP]9T5D5TS SEP>ATELY3 ,W]E !Y WILL+1 :ILE TAK+ ! C5SUS1 TO 9QUIRE 9TO ! NE$S ( ! POOR1 & TO RETA9 !IR PO/S1 9 ORD] TO S]VE AS GO-BETWE5S BETWE5 ! POOR & ! RI*8 !Y ALL GREW UNEASY AGA94  ,!Y SEEM$ TO SAY TO ME ) !IR GLANCES3 0,:Y1 WE HAVE JU/ CONDON$ Y\R FOLLY \T ( RESPECT TO Y\1 & H]E Y\ >E BEG9N+ IT AGA960  ,SU* WAS ! EXPRESSION ( !IR FACES1 BUT !Y ASSUR$ ME 9 WORDS ?AT !Y AGRE$2 & TWO ( !M SAID 9 ! V]Y SAME WORDS1 AS ?\< !Y HAD 5T]$ 9TO A COMPACT TOGE!R3 0,WE CONSID] \RSELVES MORALLY B\ND TO DO ?IS40  ,! SAME IMPRESSION WAS PRODUC$ BY MY COMMUNICATION TO ! /UD5T-C5SUS-TAK]S1 :5 ,I SAID TO !M1 ?AT :ILE TAK+ \R /ATI/ICS1 WE %\LD FOLL[ UP1 9 ADDITION TO ! OBJECTS ( ! C5SUS1 ! OBJECT ( B5EVOL5CE4  ,:5 WE DISCUSS$ ?IS1 ,I OBS]V$ ?AT !Y W]E A%AM$ TO LOOK ! K9DHE>T$ MAN1 :O WAS TALK+ NONS5SE1 9 ! EYE4  ,MY >TICLE PRODUC$ ! SAME IMPRESSION ON ! $ITOR ( ! NEWSPAP]1 :5 ,I H&$ IT TO HIM2 ON MY SON1 ON MY WIFE1 ON ! MO/ WIDELY DIFF]5T P]SONS4  ,ALL FELT AWKW>D1 = SOME REASON OR O!R2 BUT ALL REG>D$ IT AS 9DISP5SABLE TO APPLAUD ! IDEA ITSELF1 & ALL1 IMM$IATELY AFT] ?IS EXPRESSION ( APPROBATION1 BEGAN TO EXPRESS !IR D\BTS AS TO ITS SUCCESS1 & BEGAN = SOME REASON 7& ALL ( !M1 TOO1 )\T EXCEPTION7 TO CONDEMN ! 9DIFF]5CE & COLDNESS ( \R SOCIETY & ( EV]Y ONE1 APP>5TLY1 EXCEPT !MSELVES4 

,9 ! DEP?S ( MY [N S\L1 ,I /ILL CONT9U$ TO FEEL ?AT ALL ?IS WAS NOT AT ALL :AT WAS NE$$1 & ?AT NO?+ W\LD COME ( IT2 BUT ! >TICLE WAS PR9T$1 & ,I PREP>$ TO TAKE P>T 9 ! C5SUS2 ,I HAD CONTRIV$ ! MATT]1 & N[ IT WAS ALREADY C>RY+ ME A WAY ) IT4 

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