,*APT] #aa #aidaid ,PEOPLE 3 ,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY ,TEXT 3 ,?IS VISIT GAVE ! LA/ BL[ TO MY SELF-DECEPTION4 ,IT BECAME V]Y EVID5T TO ME ?AT MY AIM WAS NOT ONLY FOOLI%1 BUT EV5 PRODUCTIVE ( EVIL4 ,YET1 ?\< ,I KNEW ?IS1 IT SEEM$ MY DUTY TO CONT9UE ! PROJECT A LITTLE LONG]3 FIR/1 BECAUSE ( ! >TICLE ,I HAD WRITT5 & BY MY VISITS ,I HAD RAIS$ ! EXPECTATIONS ( ! POOR2 SECONDLY1 BECAUSE :AT ,I HAD SAID & WRITT5 HAD AWAK5$ ! SYMPA?Y ( SOME B5EFACTORS1 MANY ( :OM HAD PROMIS$ TO ASSI/ ME P]SONALLY & ) MONEY4 ,& ,I WAS EXPECT+ TO BE APPLI$ TO BY BO?1 & HOP$ TO SATISFY !M AS WELL AS ,I WAS ABLE4 ,AS REG>DS ! APPLICATIONS MADE TO ME BY ?OSE :O W]E 9 NE$1 ! FOLL[+ DETAILS MAY BE GIV53 ,I RECEIV$ MORE ?AN A HUNDR$ LETT]S1 :I* CAME EXCLUSIVELY FROM ! 0RI* POOR10 IF ,I MAY SO EXPRESS MYSELF4 ,SOME ( !M ,I VISIT$1 & SOME ,I LEFT UNANSW]$4 ,9 NO 9/ANCE DID ,I SUCCE$ 9 DO+ ANY GOOD4 ,ALL ! APPLICATIONS MADE TO ME W]E FROM P]SONS :O W]E ONCE 9 A PRIVILEG$ POSITION 7,I CALL SU* P]SONS PRIVILEG$ :O RECEIVE MORE FROM O!RS ?AN !Y GIVE 9 RETURN71 HAD LO/ ?AT POSITION1 & W]E DESIR\S ( REGA9+ IT4 ,ONE WANT$ TWO HUNDR$ RUBLES 9 ORD] TO KEEP HIS BUS9ESS FROM GO+ TO RU91 & TO 5ABLE HIM TO F9I% ! $UCATION ( HIS *ILDR52 ANO!R WANT$ TO HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHIC E/ABLI%M5T2 A ?IRD WANT$ MONEY TO PAY HIS DEBTS1 & TAKE HIS BE/ CLO!S \T ( PAWN2 A F\R? WAS 9 NE$ ( A PIANO1 9 ORD] TO P]FECT HIMSELF & TO E>N MONEY TO SUPPORT HIS FAMILY BY GIV+ LESSONS4 ,! MAJORITY DID NOT NAME ANY P>TICUL> SUM ( MONEY3 !Y SIMPLY ASK$ = HELP2 BUT :5 ,I BEGAN TO 9VE/IGATE :AT WAS NECESS>Y1 IT TURN$ \T ?AT !IR WANTS 9CREAS$ 9 PROPORTION TO ! HELP (F]$1 & NO?+ SATISFACTORILY RESULT$4 ,I REPEAT AGA91 ! FAULT MAY HAVE BE5 9 MY WANT ( UND]/&+2 BUT 9 ANY CASE ,I HELP$ NO ONE1 NOT)/&+ ! FACT ?AT ,I MADE EV]Y EF=T TO DO SO4 ,AS = ! PHILAN?ROPI/S :O W]E TO COOP]ATE ) ME1 SOME?+ V]Y /RANGE & QUITE UNEXPECT$ OCCURR$3 ( ALL :O PROMIS$ TO ASSI/ ) MONEY1 & EV5 /AT$ ! AM\NT !Y W\LD GIVE1 NOT ONE CONTRIBUT$ ANY?+ = DI/RIBUTION AMONG ! POOR4 ,! PROMISES ( PECUNI>Y ASSI/ANCE AM\NT$ TO AB\T ?REE ?\S& RUBLES2 BUT ( ALL !SE PEOPLE1 NOT ONE RECOLLECT$ HIS AGREEM5T1 OR GAVE ME A S+LE KOPECK4 ,! /UD5TS ALONE GAVE ! MONEY :I* !Y RECEIV$ AS PAYM5T = VISIT+1 AB\T TWELVE RUBLES2 SO ?AT MY S*EME1 :I* WAS TO HAVE COLLECT$ T5S ( ?\S&S ( RUBLES FROM ! RI*1 & TO HAVE SAV$ HUNDR$S & ?\S&S ( PEOPLE FROM MIS]Y & VISE1 5D$ 9 MY DI/RIBUT+ AT R&OM SOME FEW RUBLES (F]$ BY ! /UD5TS1 ) TW5TY-FIVE MORE S5T ME BY ! T[N-C\NCIL = MY LABOR AS MANAG]1 :I* ,I POSITIVELY DID NOT KN[ :AT TO DO )4 ,SO 5D$ ! AFFAIR4 ,!N1 BE=E LEAV+ ,MOSC[ = ! C\NTRY1 ON ! ,SUNDAY BE=E ! ,C>NIVAL1 ,I W5T TO ! ,RZHAN(F H\SE 9 ! MORN+ 9 ORD] TO DI/RIBUTE ! ?IRTY-SEV5 RUBLES AMONG ! POOR4 ,I VISIT$ ALL :OM ,I KNEW 9 ! LODG+S1 BUT F\ND ONLY ONE 9VALID1 TO :OM ,I GAVE SOME?+1--FIVE RUBLES1 ,I ?9K4 ,!RE WAS NOBODY ELSE TO GIVE TO4 ,( C\RSE1 MANY BEGAN TO BEG2 BUT1 AS ,I DID NOT KN[ !M1 ,I MADE UP MY M9D TO TAKE ! ADVICE ( ,IVAN ,F$OTIT*1 ! TAV]N-KEEP]1 RESPECT+ ! DI/RIBUTION ( ! REMA9+ ?IRTY-TWO RUBLES4 ,IT WAS ! FIR/ DAY ( ! C>NIVAL4 ,EV]YBODY WAS SM>TLY DRESS$1 ALL HAD HAD FOOD1 & MANY W]E DRUNK4 ,9 ! Y>D NE> ! CORN] ( ! H\SE /OOD AN OLD-CLO!S MAN1 DRESS$ 9 A RAGG$ PEASANT'S COAT & B>K %OES4 ,HE WAS /ILL HALE & HE>TY4 ,SORT+ HIS PUR*ASES1 HE WAS PUTT+ !M 9TO DIFF]5T HEAPS1--LEA!R1 IRON1 & O!R ?+S1--& WAS S++ A M]RY SONG AT ! TOP ( HIS VOICE4 ,I BEGAN TO TALK ) HIM4 ,HE WAS SEV5TY YE>S ( AGE2 HAD NO RELATIVES2 E>N$ HIS LIV+ BY DEAL+ 9 OLD CLO!S1 & NOT ONLY DID NOT COMPLA91 BUT SAID HE HAD 5\< TO EAT1 DR9K1 & TO SP>E4 ,I ASK$ HIM :O 9 ! PLACE W]E P>TICUL>LY 9 WANT4 ,HE BECAME CROSS1 & SAID PLA9LY ?AT !RE WAS NO ONE 9 WANT BUT DRUNK>DS & IDL]S2 BUT ON LE>N+ MY OBJECT 9 ASK+1 HE BEGG$ ME FIVE KOPECKS = DR9K1 & RAN TO ! TAV]N = IT4 ,I ALSO W5T TO ! TAV]N TO SEE ,IVAN ,F$OTIT*1 TO ASK HIM TO DI/RIBUTE ! MONEY = ME4 ,IT WAS FULL2 GAILY-DRESS$ TIPSY PRO/ITUTES W]E WALK+ TO & FRO2 ALL ! TABLES W]E OCCUPI$2 MANY PEOPLE W]E ALREADY DRUNK2 & 9 ! SMALL ROOM SOMEONE WAS PLAY+ A H>MONIUM1 & TWO PEOPLE W]E DANC+4 ,IVAN ,F$OTIT*1 \T ( RESPECT = ME1 ORD]$ !M TO LEAVE (F1 & SAT D[N NEXT ME AT A VACANT TABLE4 ,I ASK$ HIM1 AS HE KNEW HIS LODG]S WELL1 TO PO9T \T ?OSE MO/ 9 WANT1 AS ,I WAS 5TRU/$ ) A LITTLE MONEY = DI/RIBUTION1 & WI%$ HIM TO DIRECT ME4 ,! K9DHE>T$ MAN 7HE DI$ A YE> AFT]7 GAVE ME HIS ATT5TION = A TIME 9 ORD] TO OBLIGE ME1 AL?\< HE HAD TO WAIT ON HIS CU/OM]S4 ,HE BEGAN TO ?9K IT OV]1 & WAS EVID5TLY PUZZL$4 ,ONE OLD WAIT] HAD OV]HE>D US1 & TOOK HIS P>T 9 ! CONF]5CE4 ,!Y BEGAN TO GO OV] HIS LODG]S1 SOME ( :OM W]E KN[N TO ME1 BUT !Y C\LD NOT AGREE4 0,P>AMONOVNA10 SUGGE/$ ! WAIT]4 0,WELL2 YES1 %E DOES GO HUNGRY SOMETIMES2 BUT %E DR9KS40 0,:AT DIFF]5CE DOES ?AT MAKE80 0,WELL1 ,SPIRIDON ,IVANOVIT*1 HE HAS *ILDR52 ?AT'S ! MAN = Y\40 ,BUT ,IVAN ,F$OTIT* HAD D\BTS AB\T ,SPIRIDON TOO4 0,AKUL9A1 BUT %E HAS A P5SION4 ,AH1 BUT !RE IS ! BL9D MAN60 ,TO HIM ,I MYSELF OBJECT$3 ,I HAD JU/ SE5 HIM4 ,?IS WAS AN OLD MAN ( EIS ( AGE1 )\T ANY RELATIVES4 ,ONE C\LD SC>CELY IMAG9E ANY CONDITION TO BE WORSE2 & YET ,I HAD JU/ SE5 HIM LY+ DRUNK ON A FEA!R B$1 CURS+ AT HIS COMP>ATIVELY Y\NG MI/RESS 9 ! MO/ FIL?Y LANGUAGE4 ,!Y !N NAM$ A ONE->M$ BOY & HIS MO!R4 ,I SAW ?AT ,IVAN ,F$OTIT* WAS 9 GREAT DIFFICULTY [+ TO HIS CONSCI5TI\SNESS1 = HE KNEW ?AT EV]Y ?+ GIV5 AWAY BY ME W\LD BE SP5T AT HIS TAV]N4 ,BUT AS ,I HAD TO GET RID ( MY ?IRTY-TWO RUBLES1 ,I 9SI/$1 & WE MANAG$ SOMEH[ OR O!R TO DI/RIBUTE ! MONEY4 ,?OSE :O RECEIV$ IT W]E MO/LY WELL-DRESS$1 & WE HAD NOT F> TO GO TO F9D !M3 !Y W]E ALL 9 ! TAV]N4 ,! ONE->M$ BOY CAME 9 TOP-BOOTS & A R$ %IRT & WAI/COAT4 ,?US 5D$ ALL MY B5EVOL5T 5T]PRISES2 & ,I LEFT = ! C\NTRY VEX$ ) EV]YONE1 AS IT ALWAYS HAPP5S :5 ONE DOES SOME?+ FOOLI% & H>MFUL4 ,NO?+ CAME ( IT ALL1 EXCEPT ! TRA9 ( ?\Y #a#h1 #bag 3 ,*APT] #aa -- ,ADD$4 FILE G5]AT$ FROM 3 HTTP3_/_/REVOLTLIB4COM_/