,BOOK #a#b1 ,*APT] #af 

#ahfiahfi 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,NOT ONLY DID ,PR9CE ,&REW KN[ HE W\LD DIE1 BUT HE FELT ?AT HE WAS 
 DY+ & WAS ALREADY HALF DEAD4 ,HE WAS CONSCI\S ( AN ALO(NESS FROM 
 EV]Y?+ E>?LY & A /RANGE & JOY\S LI<TNESS ( EXI/5CE4 
 ,)\T HA/E OR AGITATION HE AWAIT$ :AT WAS COM+4 ,?AT 9EXORABLE1 
 ET]NAL1 DI/ANT1 & UNKN[N ! PRES5CE ( :I* HE HAD FELT 
 CONT9UALLY ALL HIS LIFE--WAS N[ NE> TO HIM &1 BY ! /RANGE 
 LI<TNESS HE EXP]I5C$1 ALMO/ COMPREH5SIBLE & PALPABLE4444 

,=M]LY HE HAD FE>$ ! 5D4 ,HE HAD TWICE EXP]I5C$ ?AT T]RIBLY 
 TORM5T+ FE> ( DEA?--! 5D--BUT N[ HE NO LONG] UND]/OOD ?AT 
 FE>4 

,HE HAD FELT IT = ! FIR/ TIME :5 ! %ELL SPUN LIKE A TOP 
 BE=E HIM1 & HE LOOK$ AT ! FALL[ FIELD1 ! BU%ES1 & ! SKY1 
 & KNEW ?AT HE WAS FACE TO FACE ) DEA?4 ,:5 HE CAME TO HIMSELF 
 AFT] BE+ W\ND$ & ! FL[] ( ET]NAL1 UNFETT]$ LOVE HAD 
 9/ANTLY UNFOLD$ ITSELF 9 HIS S\L AS IF FRE$ FROM ! BONDAGE ( 
 LIFE ?AT HAD RE/RA9$ IT1 HE NO LONG] FE>$ DEA? & CEAS$ TO 
 ?9K AB\T IT4 

,DUR+ ! H\RS ( SOLITUDE1 SUFF]+1 & P>TIAL DELIRIUM HE SP5T 
 AFT] HE WAS W\ND$1 ! MORE DEEPLY HE P5ETRAT$ 9TO ! NEW PR9CIPLE 
 ( ET]NAL LOVE REVEAL$ TO HIM1 ! MORE HE UNCONSCI\SLY DETA*$ 
 HIMSELF FROM E>?LY LIFE4 ,TO LOVE EV]Y?+ & EV]YBODY & ALWAYS TO 
 SACRIFICE ONESELF = LOVE MEANT NOT TO LOVE ANYONE1 NOT TO LIVE ?IS 
 E>?LY LIFE4 ,& ! MORE IMBU$ HE BECAME ) ?AT PR9CIPLE ( LOVE1 
 ! MORE HE R5\NC$ LIFE & ! MORE COMPLETELY HE DE/ROY$ ?AT 
 DREADFUL B>RI] :I*--9 ! ABS5CE ( SU* LOVE--/&S 
 BETWE5 LIFE & DEA?4 ,:5 DUR+ ?OSE FIR/ DAYS HE REMEMB]$ ?AT HE 
 W\LD HAVE TO DIE1 HE SAID TO HIMSELF3 0,WELL1 :AT ( IT8 ,SO MU* ! 
 BETT]60 

,BUT AFT] ! NI<T 9 ,MYTI%*I :51 HALF DELIRI\S1 HE HAD SE5 H] = 
 :OM HE LONG$ APPE> BE=E HIM &1 HAV+ PRESS$ H] H& TO HIS LIPS1 
 HAD %$ G5TLE1 HAPPY TE>S1 LOVE = A P>TICUL> WOMAN AGA9 CREPT 
 UNOBS]V$ 9TO HIS HE>T & ONCE MORE B\ND HIM TO LIFE4 ,& JOYFUL & 
 AGITAT+ ?\<TS BEGAN TO OCCUPY HIS M9D4 ,RECALL+ ! MOM5T AT ! 
 AMBULANCE /ATION :5 HE HAD SE5 ,KURAG91 HE C\LD NOT N[ REGA9 ! 
 FEEL+ HE !N HAD1 BUT WAS TORM5T$ BY ! QUE/ION :E!R ,KURAG9 WAS 
 ALIVE4 ,& HE D>$ NOT 9QUIRE4 

,HIS ILLNESS PURSU$ ITS NORMAL PHYSICAL C\RSE1 BUT :AT ,NATA%A REF]R$ 
 TO :5 %E SAID3 0,?IS SUDD5LY HAPP5$10 HAD OCCURR$ TWO 
 DAYS BE=E ,PR9CESS ,M>Y >RIV$4 ,IT WAS ! LA/ SPIRITUAL /RUGGLE BETWE5 
 LIFE & DEA?1 9 :I* DEA? GA9$ ! VICTORY4 ,IT WAS ! UNEXPECT$ 
 REALIZATION ( ! FACT ?AT HE /ILL VALU$ LIFE AS PRES5T$ TO HIM 9 
 ! =M ( HIS LOVE = ,NATA%A1 & A LA/1 ?\< ULTIMATELY 
 VANQUI%$1 ATTACK ( T]ROR BE=E ! UNKN[N4 

,IT WAS EV5+4 ,AS USUAL AFT] D9N] HE WAS SLI<TLY FEV]I%1 & HIS 
 ?\<TS W]E PRET]NATURALLY CLE>4 ,SONYA WAS SITT+ BY ! TABLE4 ,HE 
 BEGAN TO DOZE4 ,SUDD5LY A FEEL+ ( HAPP9ESS SEIZ$ HIM4 

0,AH1 %E HAS COME60 ?\<T HE4 

,& SO IT WAS3 9 ,SONYA'S PLACE SAT ,NATA%A :O HAD JU/ COME 9 
 NOISELESSLY4 

,S9CE %E HAD BEGUN LOOK+ AFT] HIM1 HE HAD ALWAYS EXP]I5C$ ?IS 
 PHYSICAL CONSCI\SNESS ( H] NE>NESS4 ,%E WAS SITT+ 9 AN >M*AIR 
 PLAC$ SIDEWAYS1 SCRE5+ ! LI<T ( ! C&LE FROM HIM1 & WAS 
 KNITT+ A /OCK+4 ,%E HAD LE>N$ TO KNIT /OCK+S S9CE ,PR9CE ,&REW 
 HAD CASUALLY M5TION$ ?AT NO ONE NURS$ ! SICK SO WELL AS OLD NURSES 
 :O KNIT /OCK+S1 & ?AT !RE IS SOME?+ SOO?+ 9 ! KNITT+ 
 ( /OCK+S4 ,! NE$LES CLICK$ LI<TLY 9 H] SL5D]1 RAPIDLY MOV+ 
 H&S1 & HE C\LD CLE>LY SEE ! ?\<TFUL PR(ILE ( H] DROOP+ 
 FACE4 ,%E MOV$1 & ! BALL ROLL$ (F H] KNEES4 ,%E />T$1 GLANC$ 
 R\ND AT HIM1 & SCRE5+ ! C&LE ) H] H& /OOP$ C>EFULLY 
 ) A SUPPLE & EXACT MOVEM5T1 PICK$ UP ! BALL1 & REGA9$ H] 
 =M] POSITION4 

,HE LOOK$ AT H] )\T MOV+ & SAW ?AT %E WANT$ TO DRAW A DEEP 
 BREA? AFT] /OOP+1 BUT REFRA9$ FROM DO+ SO & BREA!D 
 CAUTI\SLY4 

,AT ! ,TROITSA MONA/]Y !Y HAD SPOK5 ( ! PA/1 & HE HAD TOLD H] 
 ?AT IF HE LIV$ HE W\LD ALWAYS ?ANK ,GOD = HIS W\ND :I* HAD BR\<T 
 !M TOGE!R AGA91 BUT AFT] ?AT !Y NEV] SPOKE ( ! FUTURE4 

0,CAN IT OR CAN IT NOT BE80 HE N[ ?\<T AS HE LOOK$ AT H] & LI/5$ 
 TO ! LI<T CLICK ( ! /EEL NE$LES4 0,CAN FATE HAVE BR\<T ME TO H] 
 SO /RANGELY ONLY = ME TO DIE8444 ,IS IT POSSIBLE ?AT ! TRU? ( LIFE 
 HAS BE5 REVEAL$ TO ME ONLY TO %[ ME ?AT ,I HAVE SP5T MY LIFE 9 
 FALSITY8 ,I LOVE H] MORE ?AN ANY?+ 9 ! WORLD6 ,BUT :AT AM ,I TO DO 
 IF ,I LOVE H]80 HE ?\<T1 & HE 9VOLUNT>ILY GROAN$1 FROM A HABIT 
 ACQUIR$ DUR+ HIS SUFF]+S4 

,ON HE>+ ?AT S\ND ,NATA%A PUT D[N ! /OCK+1 LEAN$ NE>] TO HIM1 
 & SUDD5LY1 NOTIC+ HIS %9+ EYES1 /EPP$ LI<TLY UP TO HIM & 
 B5T OV] HIM4 

0,Y\ >E NOT ASLEEP80 

0,NO1 ,I HAVE BE5 LOOK+ AT Y\ A LONG TIME4 ,I FELT Y\ COME 94 ,NO ONE 
 ELSE GIVES ME ?AT S5SE ( S(T TRANQUILITY ?AT Y\ DO444 ?AT LI<T4 ,I 
 WANT TO WEEP = JOY40 

,NATA%A DREW CLOS] TO HIM4 ,H] FACE %ONE ) RAPTUR\S JOY4 

0,NATA%A1 ,I LOVE Y\ TOO MU*6 ,MORE ?AN ANY?+ 9 ! WORLD40 

0,& ,I60--,%E TURN$ AWAY = AN 9/ANT4 0,:Y TOO MU*80 %E ASK$4 

0,:Y TOO MU*8444 ,WELL1 :AT DO Y\1 :AT DO Y\ FEEL 9 Y\R S\L1 Y\R 
 :OLE S\L--%ALL ,I LIVE8 ,:AT DO Y\ ?9K80 

0,I AM SURE ( IT1 SURE60 ,NATA%A ALMO/ %\T$1 TAK+ HOLD ( BO? HIS 
 H&S ) A PASSIONATE MOVEM5T4 

,HE REMA9$ SIL5T A:ILE4 

0,H[ GOOD IT W\LD BE60 & TAK+ H] H& HE KISS$ IT4 

,NATA%A FELT HAPPY & AGITAT$1 BUT AT ONCE REMEMB]$ ?AT ?IS W\LD 
 NOT DO & ?AT HE HAD TO BE QUIET4 

0,BUT Y\ HAVE NOT SLEPT10 %E SAID1 REPRESS+ H] JOY4 0,TRY TO SLEEP444 
 PLEASE60 

,HE PRESS$ H] H& & RELEAS$ IT1 & %E W5T BACK TO ! C&LE & 
 SAT D[N AGA9 9 H] =M] POSITION4 ,TWICE %E TURN$ & LOOK$ AT HIM1 
 & H] EYES MET HIS BEAM+ AT H]4 ,%E SET H]SELF A TASK ON H] 
 /OCK+ & RESOLV$ NOT TO TURN R\ND TILL IT WAS F9I%$4 

,SOON HE REALLY %UT HIS EYES & FELL ASLEEP4 ,HE DID NOT SLEEP LONG & 
 SUDD5LY AWOKE ) A />T & 9 A COLD P]SPIRATION4 

,AS HE FELL ASLEEP HE HAD /ILL BE5 ?9K+ ( ! SUBJECT ?AT N[ 
 ALWAYS OCCUPI$ HIS M9D--AB\T LIFE & DEA?1 & *IEFLY AB\T 
 DEA?4 ,HE FELT HIMSELF NE>] TO IT4 

0,LOVE8 ,:AT IS LOVE80 HE ?\<T4 

0,LOVE H9D]S DEA?4 ,LOVE IS LIFE4 ,ALL1 EV]Y?+ ?AT ,I UND]/&1 ,I 
 UND]/& ONLY BECAUSE ,I LOVE4 ,EV]Y?+ IS1 EV]Y?+ EXI/S1 ONLY 
 BECAUSE ,I LOVE4 ,EV]Y?+ IS UNIT$ BY IT ALONE4 ,LOVE IS ,GOD1 & TO DIE 
 MEANS ?AT ,I1 A P>TICLE ( LOVE1 %ALL RETURN TO ! G5]AL & ET]NAL 
 S\RCE40 ,!SE ?\<TS SEEM$ TO HIM COM=T+4 ,BUT !Y W]E ONLY 
 ?\<TS4 ,SOME?+ WAS LACK+ 9 !M1 !Y W]E NOT CLE>1 !Y W]E 
 TOO ONE-SID$LY P]SONAL & BRA9-SPUN4 ,& !RE WAS ! =M] 
 AGITATION & OBSCURITY4 ,HE FELL ASLEEP4 

,HE DREAM$ ?AT HE WAS LY+ 9 ! ROOM HE REALLY WAS 91 BUT ?AT HE WAS 
 QUITE WELL & UNW\ND$4 ,MANY V>I\S1 9DIFF]5T1 & 9SIGNIFICANT 
 PEOPLE APPE>$ BE=E HIM4 ,HE TALK$ TO !M & DISCUSS$ SOME?+ 
 TRIVIAL4 ,!Y W]E PREP>+ TO GO AWAY SOME:]E4 ,PR9CE ,&REW DIMLY 
 REALIZ$ ?AT ALL ?IS WAS TRIVIAL & ?AT HE HAD MORE IMPORTANT C>ES1 
 BUT HE CONT9U$ TO SPEAK1 SURPRIS+ !M BY EMPTY WITTICISMS4 ,GRADUALLY1 
 UNNOTIC$1 ALL !SE P]SONS BEGAN TO DISAPPE> & A S+LE QUE/ION1 
 ?AT ( ! CLOS$ DOOR1 SUP]S$$ ALL ELSE4 ,HE ROSE & W5T TO ! DOOR 
 TO BOLT & LOCK IT4 ,EV]Y?+ DEP5D$ ON :E!R HE WAS1 OR WAS NOT1 9 
 TIME TO LOCK IT4 ,HE W5T1 & TRI$ TO HURRY1 BUT HIS LEGS REFUS$ TO MOVE 
 & HE KNEW HE W\LD NOT BE 9 TIME TO LOCK ! DOOR ?\< HE PA9FULLY 
 /RA9$ ALL HIS P[]S4 ,HE WAS SEIZ$ BY AN AGONIZ+ FE>4 ,& ?AT FE> 
 WAS ! FE> ( DEA?4 ,IT /OOD BEH9D ! DOOR4 ,BUT JU/ :5 HE WAS 
 CLUMSILY CREEP+ T[>D ! DOOR1 ?AT DREADFUL SOME?+ ON ! O!R 
 SIDE WAS ALREADY PRESS+ AGA9/ IT & =C+ ITS WAY 94 ,SOME?+ NOT 
 HUMAN--DEA?--WAS BREAK+ 9 ?R\< ?AT DOOR1 & HAD TO BE 
 KEPT \T4 ,HE SEIZ$ ! DOOR1 MAK+ A F9AL EF=T TO HOLD IT BACK--TO 
 LOCK IT WAS NO LONG] POSSIBLE--BUT HIS EF=TS W]E WEAK & CLUMSY 
 & ! DOOR1 PU%$ FROM BEH9D BY ?AT T]ROR1 OP5$ & CLOS$ AGA94 

,ONCE AGA9 IT PU%$ FROM \TSIDE4 ,HIS LA/ SUP]HUMAN EF=TS W]E VA9 
 & BO? HALVES ( ! DOOR NOISELESSLY OP5$4 ,IT 5T]$1 & IT WAS 
 DEA?1 & ,PR9CE ,&REW DI$4 

,BUT AT ! 9/ANT HE DI$1 ,PR9CE ,&REW REMEMB]$ ?AT HE WAS ASLEEP1 
 & AT ! V]Y 9/ANT HE DI$1 HAV+ MADE AN EF=T1 HE AWOKE4 

0,YES1 IT WAS DEA?6 ,I DI$--& WOKE UP4 ,YES1 DEA? IS AN AWAK5+60 
 ,& ALL AT ONCE IT GREW LI<T 9 HIS S\L & ! VEIL ?AT HAD TILL !N 
 CONCEAL$ ! UNKN[N WAS LIFT$ FROM HIS SPIRITUAL VISION4 ,HE FELT AS IF 
 P[]S TILL !N CONF9$ )9 HIM HAD BE5 LIB]AT$1 & ?AT /RANGE 
 LI<TNESS DID NOT AGA9 LEAVE HIM4 

,:51 WAK+ 9 A COLD P]SPIRATION1 HE MOV$ ON ! DIVAN1 ,NATA%A W5T 
 UP & ASK$ HIM :AT WAS ! MATT]4 ,HE DID NOT ANSW] & LOOK$ AT H] 
 /RANGELY1 NOT UND]/&+4 

,?AT WAS :AT HAD HAPP5$ TO HIM TWO DAYS BE=E ,PR9CESS ,M>Y'S >RIVAL4 
 ,FROM ?AT DAY1 AS ! DOCTOR EXPRESS$ IT1 ! WA/+ FEV] ASSUM$ A 
 MALIGNANT *>ACT]1 BUT :AT ! DOCTOR SAID DID NOT 9T]E/ ,NATA%A1 
 %E SAW ! T]RIBLE MORAL SYMPTOMS :I* TO H] W]E MORE CONV9C+4 

,FROM ?AT DAY AN AWAK5+ FROM LIFE CAME TO ,PR9CE ,&REW TOGE!R ) 
 HIS AWAK5+ FROM SLEEP4 ,& COMP>$ TO ! DURATION ( LIFE IT DID NOT 
 SEEM TO HIM SL[] ?AN AN AWAK5+ FROM SLEEP COMP>$ TO ! DURATION 
 ( A DREAM4 

,!RE WAS NO?+ T]RIBLE OR VIOL5T 9 ?IS COMP>ATIVELY SL[ 
 AWAK5+4 

,HIS LA/ DAYS & H\RS PASS$ 9 AN ORD9>Y & SIMPLE WAY4 ,BO? 
 ,PR9CESS ,M>Y & ,NATA%A1 :O DID NOT LEAVE HIM1 FELT ?IS4 ,!Y DID NOT 
 WEEP OR %UDD] & DUR+ !SE LA/ DAYS !Y !MSELVES FELT ?AT !Y 
 W]E NOT ATT5D+ ON HIM 7HE WAS NO LONG] !RE1 HE HAD LEFT !M7 BUT 
 ON :AT REM9D$ !M MO/ CLOSELY ( HIM--HIS BODY4 ,BO? FELT ?IS 
 SO /RONGLY ?AT ! \TW>D & T]RIBLE SIDE ( DEA? DID NOT AFFECT 
 !M & !Y DID NOT FEEL IT NECESS>Y TO FOM5T !IR GRIEF4 ,NEI!R 9 
 HIS PRES5CE NOR \T ( IT DID !Y WEEP1 NOR DID !Y EV] TALK TO ONE 
 ANO!R AB\T HIM4 ,!Y FELT ?AT !Y C\LD NOT EXPRESS 9 WORDS :AT 
 !Y UND]/OOD4 

,!Y BO? SAW ?AT HE WAS S9K+ SL[LY & QUIETLY1 DEEP] & DEEP]1 
 AWAY FROM !M1 & !Y BO? KNEW ?AT ?IS HAD TO BE SO & ?AT IT WAS 
 RI<T4 

,HE CONFESS$1 & RECEIV$ COMMUNION3 EV]YONE CAME TO TAKE LEAVE ( HIM4 
 ,:5 !Y BR\<T HIS SON TO HIM1 HE PRESS$ HIS LIPS TO ! BOY'S & 
 TURN$ AWAY1 NOT BECAUSE HE FELT IT H>D & SAD 7,PR9CESS ,M>Y & 
 ,NATA%A UND]/OOD ?AT7 BUT SIMPLY BECAUSE HE ?\<T IT WAS ALL ?AT WAS 
 REQUIR$ ( HIM1 BUT :5 !Y TOLD HIM TO BLESS ! BOY1 HE DID :AT WAS 
 DEM&$ & LOOK$ R\ND AS IF ASK+ :E!R !RE WAS ANY?+ ELSE HE 
 %\LD DO4 

,:5 ! LA/ CONVULSIONS ( ! BODY1 :I* ! SPIRIT WAS LEAV+1 
 OCCURR$1 ,PR9CESS ,M>Y & ,NATA%A W]E PRES5T4 

0,IS IT OV]80 SAID ,PR9CESS ,M>Y :5 HIS BODY HAD = A FEW M9UTES LA9 
 MOTIONLESS1 GR[+ COLD BE=E !M4 ,NATA%A W5T UP1 LOOK$ AT ! DEAD 
 EYES1 & HA/5$ TO CLOSE !M4 ,%E CLOS$ !M BUT DID NOT KISS !M1 
 BUT CLUNG TO ?AT :I* REM9D$ H] MO/ NE>LY ( HIM--HIS BODY4 

0,:]E HAS HE GONE8 ,:]E IS HE N[84440 

,:5 ! BODY1 WA%$ & DRESS$1 LAY 9 ! C(F9 ON A TABLE1 EV]YONE 
 CAME TO TAKE LEAVE ( HIM & !Y ALL WEPT4 

,LITTLE ,NI*OLAS CRI$ BECAUSE HIS HE>T WAS R5T BY PA9FUL P]PLEXITY4 
 ,! C\NTESS & ,SONYA CRI$ FROM PITY = ,NATA%A & BECAUSE HE WAS NO 
 MORE4 ,! OLD C\NT CRI$ BECAUSE HE FELT ?AT BE=E LONG1 HE1 TOO1 MU/ 
 TAKE ! SAME T]RIBLE /EP4 

,NATA%A & ,PR9CESS ,M>Y ALSO WEPT N[1 BUT NOT BECAUSE ( !IR [N 
 P]SONAL GRIEF2 !Y WEPT ) A REV]5T & S(T5+ EMOTION :I* HAD 
 TAK5 POSSESSION ( !IR S\LS AT ! CONSCI\SNESS ( ! SIMPLE & 
 SOLEMN MY/]Y ( DEA? ?AT HAD BE5 ACCOMPLI%$ 9 !IR PRES5CE4 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahfh 3 ,BOOK #a#b1 ,*APT] #af -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,FEBRU>Y #a#a1 #bag 3 ,BOOK #a#b1 ,*APT] #af -- ,ADD$4 

 FILE G5]AT$ FROM 3  
HTTP3_/_/REVOLTLIB4COM_/