,P>T #b1 ,*APT] #e 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,ALB]T ,CAMUS 

,TEXT 3 

,V 

,I ,H,A,V,E JU/ REFUS$1 = ! ?IRD TIME1 TO SEE ! PRISON *APLA94 ,I HAVE NO?+ TO 
SAY TO HIM1 DON'T FEEL LIKE TALK+ -- & %ALL BE SEE+ HIM QUITE SOON 5\<1 
ANYWAY4 ,! ONLY ?+ ?AT 9T]E/S ME N[ IS ! PROBLEM ( CIRCUMV5T+ ! 
MA*9E1 LE>N+ IF ! 9EVITABLE ADMITS A LOOPHOLE4 

,!Y HAVE MOV$ ME TO ANO!R CELL4 ,9 ?IS ONE1 LY+ ON MY BACK1 ,I CAN SEE ! 
SKY1 & !RE IS NO?+ ELSE TO SEE4 ,ALL MY TIME IS SP5T 9 WAT*+ ! SL[LY 
*ANG+ COLORS ( ! SKY1 AS DAY MOVES ON TO NI<T4 ,I PUT MY H&S BEH9D MY 
HEAD1 GAZE UP1 & WAIT4 

,?IS PROBLEM ( A LOOPHOLE OBSESSES ME2 ,I AM ALWAYS WOND]+ IF !RE HAVE 
BE5 CASES ( CONDEMN$ PRISON]S' ESCAP+ FROM ! IMPLACABLE MA*9]Y ( 
JU/ICE AT ! LA/ MOM5T1 BREAK+ ?R\< ! POLICE CORDON1 VANI%+ 9 ! NICK 
( TIME BE=E ! GUILLOT9E FALLS4 ,(T5 & (T5 ,I BLAME MYSELF = NOT HAV+ 
GIV5 MORE ATT5TION TO ACC\NTS ( PUBLIC EXECUTIONS4 ,ONE %\LD ALWAYS TAKE AN 
9T]E/ 9 SU* MATT]S4 ,!RE'S NEV] ANY KN[+ :AT ONE MAY COME TO4 ,LIKE 
EV]YONE ELSE ,I'D READ DESCRIPTIONS ( EXECUTIONS 9 ! PAP]S4 ,BUT TE*NICAL BOOKS 
DEAL+ ) ?IS SUBJECT MU/ C]TA9LY EXI/2 ONLY ,I'D NEV] FELT SUFFICI5TLY 
9T]E/$ TO LOOK !M UP4 ,& 9 !SE BOOKS ,I MI<T HAVE F\ND ESCAPE /ORIES4 
,SURELY !Y'D HAVE TOLD ME ?AT 9 ONE CASE1 ANYH[1 ! :EELS HAD /OPP$2 ?AT 
ONCE1 IF ONLY ONCE1 9 ?AT 9EXORABLE M>* ( EV5TS1 *ANCE OR LUCK HAD PLAY$ A 
HAPPY P>T4 ,JU/ ONCE6 ,9 A WAY ,I ?9K ?AT S+LE 9/ANCE W\LD HAVE SATISFI$ ME4 
,MY EMOTION W\LD HAVE DONE ! RE/4 ,! PAP]S (T5 TALK ( 0A DEBT [$ TO 
SOCIETY0 -- A DEBT :I*1 ACCORD+ TO !M1 MU/ BE PAID BY ! (F5D]4 ,BUT TALK ( 
?AT SORT DOESN'T T\* ! IMAG9ATION4 ,NO1 ! ONE ?+ ?AT C\NT$ = ME WAS ! 
POSSIBILITY ( MAK+ A DA% = IT & DEFEAT+ !IR BLOOD?IR/Y RITE2 ( A MAD 
/AMP$E TO FRE$OM ?AT W\LD ANYH[ GIVE ME A MOM5T'S HOPE1 ! GAMBL]'S 
LA/ ?R[4 ,NATURALLY1 ALL ?AT 0HOPE0 C\LD COME TO WAS TO BE KNOCK$ D[N AT ! 
CORN] ( A /REET OR PICK$ (F BY A BULLET 9 MY BACK4 ,BUT1 ALL ?+S CONSID]$1 
EV5 ?IS LUXURY WAS =BIDD5 ME2 ,I WAS CAU<T 9 ! RATTRAP IRREVOCABLY4 

,TRY AS ,I MI<T1 ,I C\LDN'T /OMA* ?IS BRUTAL C]TITUDE4 ,= REALLY1 :5 ONE CAME 
TO ?9K ( IT1 !RE WAS A DISPROPORTION BETWE5 ! JUDGM5T ON :I* IT WAS BAS$ 
& ! UNALT]ABLE SEQU5CE ( EV5TS />T+ FROM ! MOM5T :5 ?AT JUDGM5T 
WAS DELIV]$4 ,! FACT ?AT ! V]DICT WAS READ \T AT EI<T ,P4,M4 RA!R ?AN AT FIVE1 
! FACT ?AT IT MI<T HAVE BE5 QUITE DIFF]5T1 ?AT IT WAS GIV5 BY M5 :O *ANGE 
!IR UND]CLO!S1 & WAS CR$IT$ TO SO VAGUE AN 5TITY AS ! 0,FR5* PEOPLE0 -- 
= ?AT MATT]1 :Y NOT TO ! ,*9ESE OR ! ,G]MAN PEOPLE8 -- ALL !SE FACTS 
SEEM$ TO DEPRIVE ! C\RT'S DECISION ( MU* ( ITS GRAVITY4 ,YET ,I C\LD BUT 
RECOGNIZE ?AT1 FROM ! MOM5T ! V]DICT WAS GIV51 ITS EFFECTS BECAME AS COG5T1 
AS TANGIBLE1 AS1 = EXAMPLE1 ?IS WALL AGA9/ :I* ,I WAS LY+1 PRESS+ MY BACK TO 
IT4 

,:5 SU* ?\<TS CROSS$ MY M9D1 ,I REMEMB]$ A /ORY ,MO!R US$ TO TELL 
ME AB\T MY FA!R4 ,I NEV] SET EYES ON HIM4 ,P]HAPS ! ONLY ?+S ,I REALLY KNEW 
AB\T HIM W]E :AT ,MO!R HAD TOLD ME4 ,ONE ( !SE WAS ?AT HE'D GONE TO SEE A 
MURD]] EXECUT$4 ,! M]E ?\<T ( IT TURN$ HIS /OMA*4 ,BUT HE'D SE5 IT 
?R\< &1 ON COM+ HOME1 WAS VIOL5TLY SICK4 ,AT ! TIME1 ,I F\ND MY FA!R'S 
CONDUCT RA!R DISGU/+4 ,BUT N[ ,I UND]/OOD2 IT WAS SO NATURAL4 ,H[ HAD ,I FAIL$ 
TO RECOGNIZE ?AT NO?+ WAS MORE IMPORTANT ?AN AN EXECUTION2 ?AT1 VIEW$ FROM 
ONE ANGLE1 IT'S ! ONLY ?+ ?AT CAN G5U9ELY 9T]E/ A MAN8 ,& ,I DECID$ ?AT1 IF 
EV] ,I GOT \T ( JAIL1 ,I'D ATT5D EV]Y EXECUTION ?AT TOOK PLACE4 ,I WAS UNWISE1 NO 
D\BT1 EV5 TO CONSID] ?IS POSSIBILITY4 ,=1 ! MOM5T ,I'D PICTUR$ MYSELF 9 
FRE$OM1 /&+ BEH9D A D\BLE RANK ( POLICEM5 -- ON ! RI<T SIDE ( ! L9E1 
SO TO SPEAK -- ! M]E ?\<T ( BE+ AN ONLOOK] :O COMES TO SEE ! %[1 & 
CAN GO HOME & VOMIT AFT]W>DS1 FLOOD$ MY M9D ) A WILD1 ABSURD EXULTATION4 ,IT 
WAS A /UPID ?+ TO LET MY IMAG9ATION RUN AWAY ) ME LIKE ?AT2 A MOM5T LAT] ,I 
HAD A %IV]+ FIT & HAD TO WRAP MYSELF CLOSELY 9 MY BLANKET4 ,BUT MY TEE? W5T 
ON *ATT]+2 NO?+ W\LD /OP !M4 

,/ILL1 OBVI\SLY1 ONE CAN'T BE S5SIBLE ALL ! TIME4 ,ANO!R EQUALLY RIDICUL\S 
FANCY ( M9E WAS TO FRAME NEW LAWS1 ALT]+ ! P5ALTIES4 ,:AT WAS WANT$1 TO MY 
M9D1 WAS TO GIVE ! CRIM9AL A *ANCE1 IF ONLY A DOG'S *ANCE2 SAY1 ONE *ANCE 9 A 
?\S&4 ,!RE MI<T BE SOME DRUG1 OR COMB9ATION ( DRUGS1 :I* W\LD KILL ! 
PATI5T 7,I ?\<T ( HIM AS 0! PATI5T07 N9E HUNDR$ & N9ETY TIMES 9 A 
?\S&4 ,?AT HE %\LD KN[ ?IS WAS1 ( C\RSE1 ESS5TIAL4 ,= AFT] TAK+ MU* 
?\<T1 CALMLY1 ,I CAME TO ! CONCLUSION ?AT :AT WAS WRONG AB\T ! GUILLOT9E 
WAS ?AT ! CONDEMN$ MAN HAD NO *ANCE AT ALL1 ABSOLUTELY NONE4 ,9 FACT1 ! 
PATI5T'S DEA? HAD BE5 ORDA9$ IRREVOCABLY4 ,IT WAS A =EGONE CONCLUSION4 ,IF BY 
SOME FLUKE ! KNIFE DIDN'T DO ITS JOB1 !Y />T$ AGA94 ,SO IT CAME TO ?IS1 ?AT -- 
AGA9/ ! GRA91 NO D\BT -- ! CONDEMN$ MAN HAD TO HOPE ! APP>ATUS WAS 9 
GOOD WORK+ ORD]6 ,?IS1 ,I ?\<T1 WAS A FLAW 9 ! SY/EM2 &1 ON ! FACE ( IT1 
MY VIEW WAS S\ND 5\<4 ,ON ! O!R H&1 ,I HAD TO ADMIT IT PROV$ ! 
EFFICI5CY ( ! SY/EM4 ,IT CAME TO ?IS2 ! MAN UND] S5T5CE WAS OBLIG$ TO 
COLLABORATE M5TALLY1 IT WAS 9 HIS 9T]E/ ?AT ALL %\LD GO (F )\T A HIT*4 

,ANO!R ?+ ,I HAD TO RECOGNIZE WAS ?AT1 UNTIL N[1 ,I'D HAD WRONG IDEAS ON ! 
SUBJECT4 ,= SOME REASON ,I'D ALWAYS SUPPOS$ ?AT ONE HAD TO GO UP /EPS & CLIMB 
ON TO A SCAFFOLD1 TO BE GUILLOT9$4 ,PROBABLY ?AT WAS BECAUSE ( ! #a<i ,REVOLUTION2 
,I MEAN1 :AT ,I'D LE>N$ AB\T IT AT S*OOL1 & ! PICTURES ,I HAD SE54 ,!N ONE 
MORN+ ,I REMEMB]$ A PHOTOGRAPH ! NEWSPAP]S HAD FEATUR$ ON ! OCCASION ( 
! EXECUTION ( A FAM\S CRIM9AL4 ,ACTUALLY ! APP>ATUS /OOD ON ! GR\ND2 !RE 
WAS NO?+ V]Y IMPRESS+ AB\T IT1 & IT WAS MU* N>R[] ?AN ,I'D IMAG9$4 ,IT 
/RUCK ME AS RA!R ODD ?AT PICTURE HAD ESCAP$ MY MEMORY UNTIL N[4 ,:AT HAD 
/RUCK ME AT ! TIME WAS ! NEAT APPE>ANCE ( ! GUILLOT9E2 ITS %9+ SURFACES 
& F9I% REM9D$ ME ( SOME LABORATORY 9/RUM5T4 ,ONE ALWAYS HAS EXAGG]AT$ 
IDEAS AB\T :AT ONE DOESN'T KN[4 ,N[ ,I HAD TO ADMIT IT SEEM$ A V]Y SIMPLE 
PROCESS1 GETT+ GUILLOT9$2 ! MA*9E IS ON ! SAME LEVEL AS ! MAN1 & HE 
WALKS T[>D IT AS HE /EPS =W>D TO MEET SOMEBODY HE KN[S4 ,9 A S5SE1 ?AT1 TOO1 
WAS DISAPPO9T+4 ,! BUS9ESS ( CLIMB+ A SCAFFOLD1 LEAV+ ! WORLD BEL[1 SO 
TO SPEAK1 GAVE SOME?+ = A MAN'S IMAG9ATION TO GET HOLD (4 ,BUT1 AS IT WAS1 ! 
MA*9E DOM9AT$ EV]Y?+2 !Y KILL$ Y\ DISCREETLY1 ) A H9T ( %AME & 
MU* EFFICI5CY4 

,!RE W]E TWO O!R ?+S AB\T :I* ,I WAS ALWAYS ?9K+3 ! DAWN & MY 
APPEAL4 ,H[EV]1 ,I DID MY BE/ TO KEEP MY M9D (F !SE ?\<TS4 ,I LAY D[N1 
LOOK$ UP AT ! SKY1 & =C$ MYSELF TO /UDY IT4 ,:5 ! LI<T BEGAN TO TURN 
GRE5 ,I KNEW ?AT NI<T WAS COM+4 ,ANO!R ?+ ,I DID TO DEFLECT ! C\RSE ( MY 
?\<TS WAS TO LI/5 TO MY HE>T4 ,I C\LDN'T IMAG9E ?AT ?IS FA9T ?ROBB+ :I* 
HAD BE5 ) ME = SO LONG W\LD EV] CEASE4 ,IMAG9ATION HAS NEV] BE5 ONE ( 
MY /RONG PO9TS4 ,/ILL1 ,I TRI$ TO PICTURE A MOM5T :5 ! BEAT+ ( MY HE>T NO 
LONG] E*O$ 9 MY HEAD4 ,BUT1 9 VA94 ,! DAWN & MY APPEAL W]E /ILL !RE4 
,& ,I 5D$ BY BELIEV+ IT WAS A SILLY ?+ TO TRY TO =CE ONE'S ?\<TS \T ( 
!IR NATURAL GROOVE4 

,!Y ALWAYS CAME = ONE AT DAWN2 ?AT MU* ,I KNEW4 ,SO1 REALLY1 ALL MY NI<TS 
W]E SP5T 9 WAIT+ = ?AT DAWN4 ,I HAVE NEV] LIK$ BE+ TAK5 BY SURPRISE4 
,:5 SOME?+ HAPP5S TO ME ,I WANT TO BE READY = IT4 ,?AT'S :Y ,I GOT 9TO ! 
HABIT ( SLEEP+ (F & ON 9 ! DAYTIME & WAT*+ ?R\< ! NI<T = ! 
FIR/ H9T ( DAYBREAK 9 ! D>K DOME ABOVE4 ,! WOR/ P]IOD ( ! NI<T WAS ?AT 
VAGUE H\R :51 ,I KNEW1 !Y USUALLY COME2 ONCE IT WAS AFT] MIDNI<T ,I WAIT$1 
LI/5+ 9T5TLY4 ,NEV] BE=E HAD MY E>S P]CEIV$ SO MANY NOISES1 SU* T9Y 
S\NDS4 ,/ILL1 ,I MU/ SAY ,I WAS LUCKY 9 ONE RESPECT2 NEV] DUR+ ANY ( ?OSE P]IODS 
DID ,I HE> FOOT/EPS4 ,MO!R US$ TO SAY ?AT H[EV] MIS]ABLE ONE IS1 !RE'S 
ALWAYS SOME?+ TO BE ?ANKFUL =4 ,& EA* MORN+1 :5 ! SKY BRI<T5$ 
& LI<T BEGAN TO FLOOD MY CELL1 ,I AGRE$ ) H]4 ,BECAUSE ,I MI<T JU/ AS WELL HAVE 
HE>D FOOT/EPS1 & FELT MY HE>T %ATT]$ 9TO BITS4 ,EV5 ?\< ! FA9TE/ RU/LE 
S5T ME HURRY+ TO ! DOOR &1 PRESS+ AN E> TO ! R\<1 COLD WOOD1 ,I LI/5$ 
SO 9T5TLY ?AT ,I C\LD HE> MY BREA?+1 QUICK & HO>SE LIKE A DOG'S PANT+ -- 
EV5 SO !RE WAS AN 5D2 MY HE>T HADN'T SPLIT1 & ,I KNEW ,I HAD ANO!R TW5TY-F\R 
H\RS' RESPITE4 

,!N ALL DAY !RE WAS MY APPEAL TO ?9K AB\T4 ,I MADE ! MO/ ( ?IS IDEA1 
/UDY+ MY EFFECTS SO AS TO SQUEEZE \T ! MAXIMUM ( CONSOLATION4 ,?US1 ,I ALWAYS 
BEGAN BY ASSUM+ ! WOR/2 MY APPEAL WAS DISMISS$4 ,?AT MEANT1 ( C\RSE1 ,I WAS 
TO DIE4 ,SOON] ?AN O!RS1 OBVI\SLY4 0,BUT10 ,I REM9D$ MYSELF1 0IT'S COMMON 
KN[L$GE ?AT LIFE ISN'T WOR? LIV+1 ANYH[40 ,&1 ON A WIDE VIEW1 ,I C\LD SEE 
?AT IT MAKES LITTLE DIFF]5CE :E!R ONE DIES AT ! AGE ( ?IRTY OR ?REESCORE & 
T5 -- S9CE1 9 EI!R CASE1 O!R M5 & WOM5 WILL CONT9UE LIV+1 ! WORLD WILL 
GO ON AS BE=E4 ,ALSO1 :E!R ,I DI$ N[ OR =TY YE>S H5CE1 ?IS BUS9ESS ( DY+ 
HAD TO BE GOT ?R\<1 9EVITABLY4 ,/ILL1 SOMEH[ ?IS L9E ( ?\<T WASN'T AS 
CONSOL+ AS IT %\LD HAVE BE52 ! IDEA ( ALL ?OSE YE>S ( LIFE 9 H& WAS A 
GALL+ REM9D]6 ,H[EV]1 ,I C\LD >GUE MYSELF \T ( IT1 BY PICTUR+ :AT W\LD 
HAVE BE5 MY FEEL+S :5 MY T]M WAS UP1 & DEA? HAD CORN]$ ME4 ,ONCE 
Y\'RE UP AGA9/ IT1 ! PRECISE MANN] ( Y\R DEA? HAS OBVI\SLY SMALL 
IMPORTANCE4 ,!RE=E -- BUT IT WAS H>D NOT TO LOSE ! ?READ ( ! >GUM5T 
LEAD+ UP TO ?AT 0!RE=E0 -- ,I %\LD BE PREP>$ TO FACE ! DISMISSAL ( MY 
APPEAL4 

,AT ?IS /AGE1 BUT ONLY AT ?IS /AGE1 ,I HAD1 SO TO SPEAK1 ! RI<T1 & ACCORD+LY ,I 
GAVE MYSELF LEAVE1 TO CONSID] ! O!R ALT]NATIVE2 ?AT MY APPEAL WAS SUCCESSFUL4 
,& !N ! TR\BLE WAS TO CALM D[N ?AT SUDD5 RU% ( JOY RAC+ ?R\< MY 
BODY & EV5 BR++ TE>S TO MY EYES4 ,BUT IT WAS UP TO ME TO BR+ MY N]VES TO 
HEEL & /EADY MY M9D2 =1 EV5 9 CONSID]+ ?IS POSSIBILITY1 ,I HAD TO KEEP SOME 
ORD] 9 MY ?\<TS1 SO AS TO MAKE MY CONSOLATIONS1 AS REG>DS ! FIR/ ALT]NATIVE1 
MORE PLAUSIBLE4 ,:5 ,I'D SUCCE$$1 ,I HAD E>N$ A GOOD H\R'S PEACE ( M9D2 & 
?AT1 ANYH[1 WAS SOME?+4 

,IT WAS AT ONE ( !SE MOM5TS ?AT ,I REFUS$ ONCE AGA9 TO SEE ! *APLA94 ,I WAS 
LY+ D[N & C\LD M>K ! SUMM] EV5+ COM+ ON BY A S(T GOLD5 GL[ 
SPREAD+ ACROSS ! SKY4 ,I HAD JU/ TURN$ D[N MY APPEAL1 & FELT MY BLOOD 
CIRCULAT+ ) SL[1 /EADY ?ROBS4 ,NO1 ,I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE ! *APLA94 444 ,!N ,I 
DID SOME?+ ,I HADN'T DONE = QUITE A :ILE2 ,I FELL TO ?9K+ AB\T ,M>IE4 ,%E 
HADN'T WRITT5 = AGES2 PROBABLY1 ,I SURMIS$1 %E HAD GR[N TIR$ ( BE+ ! 
MI/RESS ( A MAN S5T5C$ TO DEA?4 ,OR %E MI<T BE ILL1 OR DEAD4 ,AFT] ALL1 SU* 
?+S HAPP54 ,H[ C\LD ,I HAVE KN[N AB\T IT1 S9CE1 AP>T FROM \R TWO BODIES1 
SEP>AT$ N[1 !RE WAS NO L9K BETWE5 US1 NO?+ TO REM9D US ( EA* O!R8 
,SUPPOS+ %E W]E DEAD1 H] MEMORY W\LD MEAN NO?+2 ,I C\LDN'T FEEL AN 
9T]E/ 9 A DEAD GIRL4 ,?IS SEEM$ TO ME QUITE NORMAL2 JU/ AS ,I REALIZ$ PEOPLE 
W\LD SOON =GET ME ONCE ,I WAS DEAD4 ,I C\LDN'T EV5 SAY ?AT ?IS WAS H>D TO 
/OMA*2 REALLY1 !RE'S NO IDEA TO :I* ONE DOESN'T GET ACCLIMATIZ$ 9 TIME4 

,MY ?\<TS HAD REA*$ ?IS PO9T :5 ! *APLA9 WALK$ 91 UNANN\NC$4 ,I 
C\LDN'T HELP GIV+ A />T ON SEE+ HIM4 ,HE NOTIC$ ?IS EVID5TLY1 AS HE PROMPTLY 
TOLD ME NOT TO BE AL>M$4 ,I REM9D$ HIM ?AT USUALLY HIS VISITS W]E AT ANO!R 
H\R1 & = A PRETTY GRIM OCCASION4 ,?IS1 HE REPLI$1 WAS JU/ A FRI5DLY VISIT2 IT HAD 
NO CONC]N ) MY APPEAL1 AB\T :I* HE KNEW NO?+4 ,!N HE SAT D[N ON MY 
B$1 ASK+ ME TO SIT BESIDE HIM4 ,I REFUS$ -- NOT BECAUSE ,I HAD ANY?+ AGA9/ HIM2 
HE SEEM$ A MILD1 AMIABLE MAN4 

,HE REMA9$ QUITE /ILL AT FIR/1 HIS >MS RE/+ ON HIS KNEES1 HIS EYES FIX$ ON HIS 
H&S4 ,!Y W]E SL5D] BUT S9EWY H&S1 :I* MADE ME ?9K ( TWO NIMBLE 
LITTLE ANIMALS4 ,!N HE G5TLY RUBB$ !M TOGE!R4 ,HE /AY$ SO LONG 9 ! SAME 
POSITION ?AT = A :ILE ,I ALMO/ =GOT HE WAS !RE4 

,ALL ( A SUDD5 HE J]K$ HIS HEAD UP & LOOK$ ME 9 ! EYES4 

0,:Y10 HE ASK$1 0DON'T Y\ LET ME COME TO SEE Y\80 

,I EXPLA9$ ?AT ,I DIDN'T BELIEVE 9 ,GOD4 

0,>E Y\ REALLY SO SURE ( ?AT80 

,I SAID ,I SAW NO PO9T 9 TR\BL+ MY HEAD AB\T ! MATT]2 :E!R ,I BELIEV$ OR 
DIDN'T WAS1 TO MY M9D1 A QUE/ION ( SO LITTLE IMPORTANCE4 

,HE !N LEAN$ BACK AGA9/ ! WALL1 LAY+ HIS H&S FLAT ON HIS ?I<S4 ,ALMO/ 
)\T SEEM+ TO ADDRESS ME1 HE REM>K$ ?AT HE'D (T5 NOTIC$ ONE FANCIES ONE 
IS QUITE SURE AB\T SOME?+1 :5 9 PO9T ( FACT ONE ISN'T4 ,:5 ,I SAID NO?+1 
HE LOOK$ AT ME AGA91 & ASK$3 

0,DON'T Y\ AGREE80 

,I SAID ?AT SEEM$ QUITE POSSIBLE4 ,BUT1 ?\< ,I MI<TN'T BE SO SURE AB\T :AT 
9T]E/$ ME1 ,I WAS ABSOLUTELY SURE AB\T :AT DIDN'T 9T]E/ ME4 ,& ! QUE/ION 
HE HAD RAIS$ DIDN'T 9T]E/ ME AT ALL4 

,HE LOOK$ AWAY &1 )\T ALT]+ HIS PO/URE1 ASK$ IF IT WAS BECAUSE ,I FELT 
UTT]LY DESP]ATE ?AT ,I SPOKE LIKE ?IS4 ,I EXPLA9$ ?AT IT WASN'T DESPAIR ,I FELT1 BUT 
FE> -- :I* WAS NATURAL 5\<4 

0,9 ?AT CASE10 HE SAID FIRMLY1 0,GOD CAN HELP Y\4 ,ALL ! M5 ,I'VE SE5 9 Y\R 
POSITION TURN$ TO ,HIM 9 !IR TIME ( TR\BLE40 

,OBVI\SLY1 ,I REPLI$1 !Y W]E AT LIB]TY TO DO SO1 IF !Y FELT LIKE IT4 ,I1 H[EV]1 
DIDN'T WANT TO BE HELP$1 & ,I HADN'T TIME TO WORK UP 9T]E/ = SOME?+ ?AT 
DIDN'T 9T]E/ ME4 

,HE FLUTT]$ HIS H&S FRETFULLY2 !N1 SITT+ UP1 SMOO!D \T HIS CASSOCK4 ,:5 
?IS WAS DONE HE BEGAN TALK+ AGA91 ADDRESS+ ME AS 0MY FRI5D40 ,IT WASN'T 
BECAUSE ,I'D BE5 CONDEMN$ TO DEA?1 HE SAID1 ?AT HE SPOKE TO ME 9 ?IS WAY4 ,9 HIS 
OP9ION EV]Y MAN ON ! E>? WAS UND] S5T5CE ( DEA?4 

,!RE1 ,I 9T]RUPT$ HIM2 ?AT WASN'T ! SAME ?+1 ,I PO9T$ \T1 &1 :AT'S 
MORE1 C\LD BE NO CONSOLATION4 

,HE NODD$4 0,MAYBE4 ,/ILL1 IF Y\ DON'T DIE SOON1 Y\'LL DIE ONE DAY4 ,& !N ! 
SAME QUE/ION WILL >ISE4 ,H[ WILL Y\ FACE ?AT T]RIBLE1 F9AL H\R80 

,I REPLI$ ?AT ,I'D FACE IT EXACTLY AS ,I WAS FAC+ IT N[4 

,!REAT HE /OOD UP1 & LOOK$ ME /RAI<T 9 ! EYES4 ,IT WAS A TRICK ,I KNEW WELL4 
,I US$ TO AMUSE MYSELF TRY+ IT ON ,EMMANUEL & ,CELE/E1 & N9E TIMES \T ( T5 
!Y'D LOOK AWAY UNCOM=TABLY4 ,I C\LD SEE ! *APLA9 WAS AN OLD H& AT IT1 AS 
HIS GAZE NEV] FALT]$4 ,& HIS VOICE WAS QUITE /EADY :5 HE SAID3 0,HAVE Y\ NO 
HOPE AT ALL8 ,DO Y\ REALLY ?9K ?AT :5 Y\ DIE Y\ DIE \TRI<T1 & NO?+ 
REMA9S80 

,I SAID3 0,YES40 

,HE DROPP$ HIS EYES & SAT D[N AGA94 ,HE WAS TRULY SORRY = ME1 HE SAID4 ,IT 
MU/ MAKE LIFE UNBE>ABLE = A MAN1 TO ?9K AS ,I DID4 

,! PRIE/ WAS BEG9N+ TO BORE ME1 &1 RE/+ A %\LD] ON ! WALL1 JU/ 
B5EA? ! LITTLE SKYLI<T1 ,I LOOK$ AWAY4 ,?\< ,I DIDN'T TR\BLE MU* TO FOLL[ 
:AT HE SAID1 ,I GA!R$ HE WAS QUE/ION+ ME AGA94 ,PRES5TLY HIS TONE BECAME 
AGITAT$1 URG5T1 &1 AS ,I REALIZ$ ?AT HE WAS G5U9ELY DI/RESS$1 ,I BEGAN TO PAY 
MORE ATT5TION4 

,HE SAID HE FELT CONV9C$ MY APPEAL W\LD SUCCE$1 BUT ,I WAS SADDL$ ) A LOAD 
( GUILT1 ( :I* ,I MU/ GET RID4 ,9 HIS VIEW MAN'S JU/ICE WAS A VA9 ?+2 ONLY 
,GOD'S JU/ICE MATT]$4 ,I PO9T$ \T ?AT ! =M] HAD CONDEMN$ ME4 ,YES1 HE 
AGRE$1 BUT IT HADN'T ABSOLV$ ME FROM MY S94 ,I TOLD HIM ?AT ,I WASN'T CONSCI\S ( 
ANY 0S902 ALL ,I KNEW WAS ?AT ,I'D BE5 GUILTY ( A CRIM9AL (F5SE4 ,WELL1 ,I WAS 
PAY+ ! P5ALTY ( ?AT (F5SE1 & NO ONE HAD ! RI<T TO EXPECT ANY?+ MORE 
( ME4 

,JU/ !N HE GOT UP AGA91 & IT /RUCK ME ?AT IF HE WANT$ TO MOVE 9 ?IS T9Y 
CELL1 ALMO/ ! ONLY *OICE LAY BETWE5 /&+ UP & SITT+ D[N4 ,I WAS />+ 
AT ! FLOOR4 ,HE TOOK A S+LE /EP T[>D ME1 & HALT$1 AS IF HE DIDN'T D>E TO COME 
NE>]4 ,!N HE LOOK$ UP ?R\< ! B>S AT ! SKY4 

0,Y\'RE MI/AK51 MY SON10 HE SAID GRAVELY4 0,!RE'S MORE ?AT MI<T BE REQUIR$ 
( Y\4 ,& P]HAPS IT WILL BE REQUIR$ ( Y\40 

0,:AT DO Y\ MEAN80 

0,Y\ MI<T BE ASK$ TO SEE 4440 

0,TO SEE :AT80 

,SL[LY ! PRIE/ GAZ$ R\ND MY CELL1 & ,I WAS /RUCK BY ! SADNESS ( HIS VOICE 
:5 HE REPLI$3 

0,!SE /ONE WALLS1 ,I KN[ IT ONLY TOO WELL1 >E /EEP$ 9 HUMAN SUFF]+4 ,I'VE 
NEV] BE5 ABLE TO LOOK AT !M )\T A %UDD]4 ,& YET -- BELIEVE ME1 ,I AM 
SPEAK+ FROM ! DEP?S ( MY HE>T -- ,I KN[ ?AT EV5 ! WRET*$E/ AMONG 
Y\ HAVE SOMETIMES SE51 TAK+ =M AGA9/ ?AT GRAYNESS1 A DIV9E FACE4 ,IT'S ?AT 
FACE Y\ >E ASK$ TO SEE40 

,?IS R\S$ ME A LITTLE4 ,I 9=M$ HIM ?AT ,I'D BE5 />+ AT ?OSE WALLS = 
MON?S2 !RE WAS NOBODY1 NO?+ 9 ! WORLD1 ,I KNEW BETT] ?AN ,I KNEW !M4 
,& ONCE UPON A TIME1 P]HAPS1 ,I US$ TO TRY TO SEE A FACE4 ,BUT IT WAS A SUN-GOLD FACE1 
LIT UP ) DESIRE -- ,M>IE'S FACE4 ,I HAD NO LUCK2 ,I'D NEV] SE5 IT1 & N[ ,I'D GIV5 
UP TRY+4 ,9DE$1 ,I'D NEV] SE5 ANY?+ 0TAK+ =M10 AS HE CALL$ IT1 AGA9/ 
?OSE GRAY WALLS4 

,! *APLA9 GAZ$ AT ME ) A SORT ( SADNESS4 ,I N[ HAD MY BACK TO ! WALL 
& LI<T WAS FL[+ OV] MY =EHEAD4 ,HE MUTT]$ SOME WORDS ,I DIDN'T CAT*2 
!N ABRUPTLY ASK$ IF HE MI<T KISS ME4 ,I SAID1 0,NO40 ,!N HE TURN$1 CAME UP TO ! 
WALL1 & SL[LY DREW HIS H& ALONG IT4 

0,DO Y\ REALLY LOVE !SE E>?LY ?+S SO V]Y MU*80 HE ASK$ 9 A L[ VOICE4 

,I MADE NO REPLY4 

,= QUITE A :ILE HE KEPT HIS EYES AV]T$4 ,HIS PRES5CE WAS GETT+ MORE & 
MORE IRKSOME1 & ,I WAS ON ! PO9T ( TELL+ HIM TO GO1 & LEAVE ME 9 PEACE1 
:5 ALL ( A SUDD5 HE SWUNG R\ND ON ME1 & BUR/ \T PASSIONATELY3 

0,NO6 ,NO6 ,I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT4 ,I'M SURE Y\'VE (T5 WI%$ !RE WAS AN 
AFT]LIFE40 

,( C\RSE ,I HAD1 ,I TOLD HIM4 ,EV]YBODY HAS ?AT WI% AT TIMES4 ,BUT ?AT HAD NO 
MORE IMPORTANCE ?AN WI%+ TO BE RI*1 OR TO SWIM V]Y FA/1 OR TO HAVE A BETT]- 
%AP$ M\?4 ,IT WAS 9 ! SAME ORD] ( ?+S4 ,I WAS GO+ ON 9 ! SAME VE91 
:5 HE CUT 9 ) A QUE/ION4 ,H[ DID ,I PICTURE ! LIFE AFT] ! GRAVE8 

,I FAIRLY BAWL$ \T AT HIM3 0,A LIFE 9 :I* ,I CAN REMEMB] ?IS LIFE ON E>?4 
,?AT'S ALL ,I WANT ( IT40 ,& 9 ! SAME BREA? ,I TOLD HIM ,I'D HAD 5\< ( HIS 
COMPANY4 

,BUT1 APP>5TLY1 HE HAD MORE TO SAY ON ! SUBJECT ( ,GOD4 ,I W5T CLOSE UP TO HIM 
& MADE A LA/ ATTEMPT TO EXPLA9 ?AT ,I'D V]Y LITTLE TIME LEFT1 & ,I WASN'T GO+ TO 
WA/E IT ON ,GOD4 

,!N HE TRI$ TO *ANGE ! SUBJECT BY ASK+ ME :Y ,I HADN'T ONCE ADDRESS$ HIM 
AS 0,FA!R10 SEE+ ?AT HE WAS A PRIE/4 ,?AT IRRITAT$ ME /ILL MORE1 & ,I TOLD HIM HE 
WASN'T MY FA!R2 QUITE ! CONTR>Y1 HE WAS ON ! O!RS' SIDE4 

0,NO1 NO1 MY SON10 HE SAID1 LAY+ HIS H& ON MY %\LD]4 0,I'M ON Y\R SIDE1 
?\< Y\ DON'T REALIZE IT -- BECAUSE Y\R HE>T IS H>D5$4 ,BUT ,I %ALL PRAY = 
Y\40 

,!N1 ,I DON'T KN[ H[ IT WAS1 BUT SOME?+ SEEM$ TO BREAK 9SIDE ME1 & ,I 
/>T$ YELL+ AT ! TOP ( MY VOICE4 ,I HURL$ 9SULTS AT HIM1 ,I TOLD HIM NOT TO WA/E 
HIS ROTT5 PRAY]S ON ME2 IT WAS BETT] TO BURN ?AN TO DISAPPE>4 ,I'D TAK5 HIM BY ! 
NECKB& ( HIS CASSOCK1 &1 9 A SORT ( EC/ASY ( JOY & RAGE1 ,I P\R$ \T ON 
HIM ALL ! ?\<TS ?AT HAD BE5 SIMM]+ 9 MY BRA94 ,HE SEEM$ SO COCKSURE1 
Y\ SEE4 ,& YET NONE ( HIS C]TA9TIES WAS WOR? ONE /R& ( A WOMAN'S HAIR4 
,LIV+ AS HE DID1 LIKE A CORPSE1 HE C\LDN'T EV5 BE SURE ( BE+ ALIVE4 ,IT MI<T LOOK 
AS IF MY H&S W]E EMPTY4 ,ACTUALLY1 ,I WAS SURE ( MYSELF1 SURE AB\T EV]Y?+1 F> 
SUR] ?AN HE2 SURE ( MY PRES5T LIFE & ( ! DEA? ?AT WAS COM+4 ,?AT1 NO 
D\BT1 WAS ALL ,I HAD2 BUT AT LEA/ ?AT C]TA9TY WAS SOME?+ ,I C\LD GET MY TEE? 
9TO -- JU/ AS IT HAD GOT ITS TEE? 9TO ME4 ,I'D BE5 RI<T1 ,I WAS /ILL RI<T1 ,I WAS ALWAYS 
RI<T4 ,I'D PASS$ MY LIFE 9 A C]TA9 WAY1 & ,I MI<T HAVE PASS$ IT 9 A DIFF]5T 
WAY1 IF ,I'D FELT LIKE IT4 ,I'D ACT$ ?US1 & ,I HADN'T ACT$ O!RWISE2 ,I HADN'T DONE X1 
:]EAS ,I HAD DONE Y OR Z4 ,& :AT DID ?AT MEAN8 ,?AT1 ALL ! TIME1 ,I'D BE5 
WAIT+ = ?IS PRES5T MOM5T1 = ?AT DAWN1 TOMORR['S OR ANO!R DAY'S1 :I* 
WAS TO JU/IFY ME4 ,NO?+1 NO?+ HAD ! LEA/ IMPORTANCE & ,I KNEW QUITE WELL 
:Y4 ,HE1 TOO1 KNEW :Y4 ,FROM ! D>K HORIZON ( MY FUTURE A SORT ( SL[1 
P]SI/5T BREEZE HAD BE5 BL[+ T[>D ME1 ALL MY LIFE LONG1 FROM ! YE>S ?AT 
W]E TO COME4 ,& ON ITS WAY ?AT BREEZE HAD LEVEL$ \T ALL ! IDEAS ?AT PEOPLE 
TRI$ TO FOI/ ON ME 9 ! EQUALLY UNREAL YE>S ,I !N WAS LIV+ ?R\<4 ,:AT 
DIFF]5CE C\LD !Y MAKE TO ME1 ! DEA?S ( O!RS1 OR A MO!R'S LOVE1 OR HIS 
,GOD2 OR ! WAY A MAN DECIDES TO LIVE1 ! FATE HE ?9KS HE *OOSES1 S9CE ONE & 
! SAME FATE WAS B\ND TO 0*OOSE0 NOT ONLY ME BUT ?\S&S ( MILLIONS ( 
PRIVILEG$ PEOPLE :O1 LIKE HIM1 CALL$ !MSELVES MY BRO!RS4 ,SURELY1 SURELY HE 
MU/ SEE ?AT8 ,EV]Y MAN ALIVE WAS PRIVILEG$2 !RE WAS ONLY ONE CLASS ( M51 ! 
PRIVILEG$ CLASS4 ,ALL ALIKE W\LD BE CONDEMN$ TO DIE ONE DAY2 HIS TURN1 TOO1 W\LD 
COME LIKE ! O!RS'4 ,& :AT DIFF]5CE C\LD IT MAKE IF1 AFT] BE+ *>G$ ) 
MURD]1 HE W]E EXECUT$ BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WEEP AT HIS MO!R'S FUN]AL1 S9CE IT ALL 
CAME TO ! SAME ?+ 9 ! 5D8 ,! SAME ?+ = ,SALAMANO'S WIFE & = 
,SALAMANO'S DOG4 ,?AT LITTLE ROBOT WOMAN WAS AS 0GUILTY0 AS ! GIRL FROM ,P>IS :O 
HAD M>RI$ ,MASSON1 OR AS ,M>IE1 :O WANT$ ME TO M>RY H]4 ,:AT DID IT MATT] IF 
,RAYMOND WAS AS MU* MY PAL AS ,CELE/E1 :O WAS A F> WOR?I] MAN8 ,:AT DID IT 
MATT] IF AT ?IS V]Y MOM5T ,M>IE WAS KISS+ A NEW BOY FRI5D8 ,AS A CONDEMN$ 
MAN HIMSELF1 C\LDN'T HE GRASP :AT ,I MEANT BY ?AT D>K W9D BL[+ FROM MY 
FUTURE8 444 

,I HAD BE5 %\T+ SO MU* ?AT ,I'D LO/ MY BREA?1 & JU/ !N ! JAIL]S 
RU%$ 9 & />T$ TRY+ TO RELEASE ! *APLA9 FROM MY GRIP4 ,ONE ( !M MADE 
AS IF TO /RIKE ME4 ,! *APLA9 QUIET5$ !M D[N1 !N GAZ$ AT ME = A MOM5T 
)\T SPEAK+4 ,I C\LD SEE TE>S 9 HIS EYES4 ,!N HE TURN$ & LEFT ! CELL4 

,ONCE HE'D GONE1 ,I FELT CALM AGA94 ,BUT ALL ?IS EXCITEM5T HAD EXHAU/$ ME & ,I 
DROPP$ HEAVILY ON TO MY SLEEP+ PLANK4 ,I MU/ HAVE HAD A LONGI% SLEEP1 =1 :5 
,I WOKE1 ! />S W]E %9+ D[N ON MY FACE4 ,S\NDS ( ! C\NTRYSIDE CAME 
FA9TLY 91 & ! COOL NI<T AIR1 VE9$ ) SMELLS' ( E>? & SALT1 FANN$ MY 
*EEKS4 ,! M>VEL\S PEACE ( ! SLEEPB\ND SUMM] NI<T FLOOD$ ?R\< ME 
LIKE A TIDE4 ,!N1 JU/ ON ! $GE ( DAYBREAK1 ,I HE>D A /EAM]'S SIR54 ,PEOPLE W]E 
/>T+ ON A VOYAGE TO A WORLD :I* HAD CEAS$ TO CONC]N ME =EV]4 ,ALMO/ = 
! FIR/ TIME 9 MANY MON?S ,I ?\<T ( MY MO!R4 ,& N[1 IT SEEM$ TO ME1 ,I 
UND]/OOD :Y AT H] LIFE'S 5D %E HAD TAK5 ON A 0FIANCE02 :Y %E'D PLAY$ AT 
MAK+ A FRE% />T4 ,!RE1 TOO1 9 ?AT ,HOME :]E LIVES W]E FLICK]+ \T1 ! 
DUSK CAME AS A M\RNFUL SOLACE4 ,) DEA? SO NE>1 ,MO!R MU/ HAVE FELT LIKE 
SOMEONE ON ! BR9K ( FRE$OM1 READY TO />T LIFE ALL OV] AGA94 ,NO ONE1 NO ONE 9 
! WORLD HAD ANY RI<T TO WEEP = H]4 ,& ,I1 TOO1 FELT READY TO />T LIFE ALL OV] 
AGA94 ,IT WAS AS IF ?AT GREAT RU% ( ANG] HAD WA%$ ME CLEAN1 EMPTI$ ME ( HOPE1 
&1 GAZ+ UP AT ! D>K SKY SPANGL$ ) ITS SIGNS & />S1 = ! FIR/ TIME1 ! 
FIR/1 ,I LAID MY HE>T OP5 TO ! B5IGN 9DIFF]5CE ( ! UNIV]SE4 ,TO FEEL IT SO LIKE 
MYSELF1 9DE$1 SO BRO!RLY1 MADE ME REALIZE ?AT ,I'D BE5 HAPPY1 & ?AT ,I WAS 
HAPPY /ILL4 ,= ALL TO BE ACCOMPLI%$1 = ME TO FEEL LESS LONELY1 ALL ?AT REMA9$ TO 
HOPE WAS ?AT ON ! DAY ( MY EXECUTION !RE %\LD BE A HUGE CR[D ( SPECTATORS 
& ?AT !Y %\LD GREET ME ) H[LS ( EXECRATION4 

,! ,5,D4 

,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,JANU>Y #b#e1 #bba 3 ,P>T #b1 ,*APT] #e -- ,ADD$4 

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