,*APT] #ae 

#ahiaahia 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TRANSLATOR 3 ,ISABEL ,FLOR5CE ,HAPGOOD 

,TEXT 3 

0,YES1 JEAL\SY1 ?AT IS ANO!R ( ! SECRETS ( M>RIAGE KN[N TO ALL & CONCEAL$ BY ALL4 ,BESIDES ! G5]AL CAUSE ( ! MUTUAL HATR$ ( HUSB&S & WIVES RESULT+ FROM COMPLICITY 9 ! POLLUTION ( A HUMAN BE+1 & ALSO FROM O!R CAUSES1 ! 9EXHAU/IBLE S\RCE ( M>ITAL W\NDS IS JEAL\SY4 ,BUT BY TACIT CONS5T IT IS DET]M9$ TO CONCEAL !M FROM ALL1 & WE CONCEAL !M4 ,KN[+ !M1 EA* ONE SUPPOSES 9 HIMSELF ?AT IT IS AN UN=TUNATE PECULI>ITY1 & NOT A COMMON DE/9Y4 ,SO IT WAS ) ME1 & IT HAD TO BE SO4 ,!RE CANNOT FAIL TO BE JEAL\SY BETWE5 HUSB&S & WIVES :O LIVE IMMORALLY4 ,IF !Y CANNOT SACRIFICE !IR PLEASURES = ! WELF>E ( !IR *ILD1 !Y CONCLUDE !REFROM1 & TRULY1 ?AT !Y WILL NOT SACRIFICE !IR PLEASURES =1 ,I WILL NOT SAY HAPP9ESS & TRANQUILITY 7S9CE ONE MAY S9 9 SECRET71 BUT EV5 = ! SAKE ( CONSCI5CE4 ,EA* ONE KN[S V]Y WELL ?AT NEI!R ADMITS ANY HI< MORAL REASONS = NOT BETRAY+ ! O!R1 S9CE 9 !IR MUTUAL RELATIONS !Y FAIL 9 ! REQUIREM5TS ( MORALITY1 & FROM ?AT TIME DI/RU/ & WAT* EA* O!R4 

0,OH1 :AT A FRI<TFUL FEEL+ ( JEAL\SY6 ,I DO NOT SPEAK ( ?AT REAL JEAL\SY :I* HAS F\NDATIONS 7IT IS TORM5T+1 BUT IT PROMISES AN ISSUE71 BUT ( ?AT UNCONSCI\S JEAL\SY :I* 9EVITABLY ACCOMPANIES EV]Y IMMORAL M>RIAGE1 & :I*1 HAV+ NO CAUSE1 HAS NO 5D4 ,?IS JEAL\SY IS FRI<TFUL4 ,FRI<TFUL1 ?AT IS ! WORD4 

0,& ?IS IS IT4 ,A Y\NG MAN SPEAKS TO MY WIFE4 ,HE LOOKS AT H] ) A SMILE1 &1 AS IT SEEMS TO ME1 HE SURVEYS H] BODY4 ,H[ DOES HE D>E TO ?9K ( H]1 TO ?9K ( ! POSSIBILITY ( A ROMANCE ) H]8 ,& H[ CAN %E1 SEE+ ?IS1 TOL]ATE HIM8 ,NOT ONLY DOES %E TOL]ATE HIM1 BUT %E SEEMS PLEAS$4 ,I EV5 SEE ?AT %E PUTS H]SELF TO TR\BLE ON HIS ACC\NT4 ,& 9 MY S\L !RE RISES SU* A HATR$ = H] ?AT EA* ( H] WORDS1 EA* GE/URE1 DISGU/S ME4 ,%E NOTICES IT1 %E KN[S NOT :AT TO DO1 & H[ ASSUME AN AIR ( 9DIFF]5T ANIMATION8 ,AH6 ,I SUFF]6 ,?AT MAKES H] GAY1 %E IS CONT5T4 ,& MY HATR$ 9CREASES T5FOLD1 BUT ,I DO NOT D>E TO GIVE IT FREE =CE1 BECAUSE AT ! BOTTOM ( MY S\L ,I KN[ ?AT !RE >E NO REAL REASONS = IT1 & ,I REMA9 9 MY SEAT1 FEIGN+ 9DIFF]5CE1 & EXAGG]AT+ MY ATT5TION & C\RTESY TO ,H,I,M4 

0,!N ,I GET ANGRY ) MYSELF4 ,I DESIRE TO LEAVE ! ROOM1 TO LEAVE !M ALONE1 & ,I DO1 9 FACT1 GO \T2 BUT SC>CELY AM ,I \TSIDE :5 ,I AM 9VAD$ BY A FE> ( :AT IS TAK+ PLACE )9 MY ABS5CE4 ,I GO 9 AGA91 9V5T+ SOME PRETEXT4 ,OR SOMETIMES ,I DO NOT GO 92 ,I REMA9 NE> ! DOOR1 & LI/54 ,H[ CAN %E HUMILIATE H]SELF & HUMILIATE ME BY PLAC+ ME 9 ?IS C[>DLY SITUATION ( SUSPICION & ESPIONAGE8 ,OH1 ABOM9ATION6 ,OH1 ! WICK$ ANIMAL6 ,& HE TOO1 :AT DOES HE ?9K ( Y\8 ,BUT HE IS LIKE ALL M54 ,HE IS :AT ,I WAS BE=E MY M>RIAGE4 ,IT GIVES HIM PLEASURE4 ,HE EV5 SMILES :5 HE LOOKS AT ME1 AS MU* AS TO SAY3 ',:AT HAVE Y\ TO DO ) ?IS8 ,IT IS MY TURN N[4' 

0,?IS FEEL+ IS HORRIBLE4 ,ITS BURN IS UN5DURABLE4 ,TO 5T]TA9 ?IS FEEL+ T[>D ANY ONE1 TO ONCE SUSPECT A MAN ( LU/+ AFT] MY WIFE1 WAS 5\< TO SPOIL ?IS MAN =EV] 9 MY EYES1 AS IF HE HAD BE5 SPR9KL$ ) VITRIOL4 ,LET ME ONCE BECOME JEAL\S ( A BE+1 & NEV]MORE C\LD ,I REE/ABLI% ) HIM SIMPLE HUMAN RELATIONS1 & MY EYES FLA%$ :5 ,I LOOK$ AT HIM4 

0,AS = MY WIFE1 SO MANY TIMES HAD ,I 5VELOP$ H] ) ?IS MORAL VITRIOL1 ) ?IS JEAL\S HATR$1 ?AT %E WAS DEGRAD$ !REBY4 ,9 ! P]IODS ( ?IS CAUSELESS HATR$ ,I GRADUALLY UNCR[N$ H]4 ,I COV]$ H] ) %AME 9 MY IMAG9ATION4 

0,I 9V5T$ IMPOSSIBLE KNAV]IES4 ,I SUSPECT$1 ,I AM A%AM$ TO SAY1 ?AT %E1 ?IS QUE5 ( ',! ,?\S& & ,ONE ,NI<TS1' DECEIV$ ME ) MY S]F1 UND] MY V]Y EYES1 & LAU<+ AT ME4 

0,?US1 ) EA* NEW ACCESS ( JEAL\SY 7,I SPEAK ALWAYS ( CAUSELESS JEAL\SY71 ,I 5T]$ 9TO ! FURR[ DUG =M]LY BY MY FIL?Y SUSPICIONS1 & ,I CONT9UALLY DEEP5$ IT4 ,%E DID ! SAME ?+4 ,IF ,I HAVE REASONS TO BE JEAL\S1 %E :O KNEW MY PA/ HAD A ?\S& TIMES MORE4 ,& %E WAS MORE ILL-NATUR$ 9 H] JEAL\SY ?AN ,I4 ,& ! SUFF]+S ?AT ,I FELT FROM H] JEAL\SY W]E DIFF]5T1 & LIKEWISE V]Y PA9FUL4 

0,! SITUATION MAY BE DESCRIB$ ?US4 ,WE >E LIV+ MORE OR LESS TRANQUILLY4 ,I AM EV5 GAY & CONT5T$4 ,SUDD5LY WE />T A CONV]SATION ON SOME MO/ COMMONPLACE SUBJECT1 & DIRECTLY %E F9DS H]SELF DISAGREE+ ) ME UPON MATT]S CONC]N+ :I* WE HAVE BE5 G5]ALLY 9 ACCORD4 ,& FUR!RMORE ,I SEE ?AT1 )\T ANY NECESSITY !RE=1 %E IS BECOM+ IRRITAT$4 ,I ?9K ?AT %E HAS A N]V\S ATTACK1 OR ELSE ?AT ! SUBJECT ( CONV]SATION IS REALLY DISAGREEABLE TO H]4 ,WE TALK ( SOME?+ ELSE1 & ?AT BEG9S AGA94 ,AGA9 %E TORM5TS ME1 & BECOMES IRRITAT$4 ,I AM A/ONI%$ & LOOK = A REASON4 ,:Y8 ,= :AT8 ,%E KEEPS SIL5CE1 ANSW]S ME ) MONOSYLLABLES1 EVID5TLY MAK+ ALLUSIONS TO SOME?+4 ,I BEG9 TO DIV9E ?AT ! REASON ( ALL ?IS IS ?AT ,I HAVE TAK5 A FEW WALKS 9 ! G>D5 ) H] C\S91 TO :OM ,I DID NOT GIVE EV5 A ?\<T4 ,I BEG9 TO DIV9E1 BUT ,I CANNOT SAY SO4 ,IF ,I SAY SO1 ,I CONFIRM H] SUSPICIONS4 ,I 9T]ROGATE H]1 ,I QUE/ION H]4 ,%E DOES NOT ANSW]1 BUT %E SEES ?AT ,I UND]/&1 & ?AT CONFIRMS H] SUSPICIONS4 

0',:AT IS ! MATT] ) Y\8' ,I ASK4 

0',NO?+1 ,I AM AS WELL AS USUAL1' %E ANSW]S4 

0,& AT ! SAME TIME1 LIKE A CRAZY WOMAN1 %E GIVES UTT]ANCE TO ! SILLIE/ REM>KS1 TO ! MO/ 9EXPLICABLE EXPLOSIONS ( SPITE4 

0,SOMETIMES ,I AM PATI5T1 BUT AT O!R TIMES ,I BREAK \T ) ANG]4 ,!N H] [N IRRITATION IS LAUN*$ =? 9 A FLOOD ( 9SULTS1 9 *>GES ( IMAG9>Y CRIMES & ALL C>RI$ TO ! HI<E/ DEGREE BY SOBS1 TE>S1 & RETREATS ?R\< ! H\SE TO ! MO/ IMPROBABLE SPOTS4 ,I GO TO LOOK = H]4 ,I AM A%AM$ BE=E PEOPLE1 BE=E ! *ILDR51 BUT !RE IS NO?+ TO BE DONE4 ,%E IS 9 A CONDITION :]E ,I FEEL ?AT %E IS READY = ANY?+4 ,I RUN1 & F9ALLY F9D H]4 ,NI<TS ( TORTURE FOLL[1 9 :I* BO? ( US1 ) EXHAU/$ N]VES1 APPEASE EA* O!R1 AFT] ! MO/ CRUEL WORDS & ACCUSATIONS4 

0,YES1 JEAL\SY1 CAUSELESS JEAL\SY1 IS ! CONDITION ( \R DEBAU*$ CONJUGAL LIFE4 ,& ?R\<\T MY M>RIAGE NEV] DID ,I CEASE TO FEEL IT & TO SUFF] FROM IT4 ,!RE W]E TWO P]IODS 9 :I* ,I SUFF]$ MO/ 9T5SELY4 ,! FIR/ TIME WAS AFT] ! BIR? ( \R FIR/ *ILD1 :5 ! DOCTORS HAD =BIDD5 MY WIFE TO NURSE IT4 ,I WAS P>TICUL>LY JEAL\S1 9 ! FIR/ PLACE1 BECAUSE MY WIFE FELT ?AT RE/LESSNESS PECULI> TO ANIMAL MATT] :5 ! REGUL> C\RSE ( LIFE IS 9T]RUPT$ )\T OCCASION4 ,BUT ESPECIALLY WAS ,I JEAL\S BECAUSE1 HAV+ SE5 ) :AT FACILITY %E HAD ?R[N (F H] MORAL DUTIES AS A MO!R1 ,I CONCLUD$ RI<TLY1 ?\< UNCONSCI\SLY1 ?AT %E W\LD ?R[ (F AS EASILY H] CONJUGAL DUTIES1 FEEL+ ALL ! SUR] ( ?IS BECAUSE %E WAS 9 P]FECT HEAL?1 AS WAS %[N BY ! FACT ?AT1 9 SPITE ( ! PROHIBITION ( ! DE> DOCTORS1 %E NURS$ H] FOLL[+ *ILDR51 & EV5 V]Y WELL40 

0,I SEE ?AT Y\ HAVE NO LOVE = ! DOCTORS10 SAID ,I1 HAV+ NOTIC$ ,POSDNI*EFF'S EXTRAORD9>ILY SPITEFUL EXPRESSION ( FACE & TONE ( VOICE :5EV] HE SPOKE ( !M4 

0,IT IS NOT A QUE/ION ( LOV+ !M OR ( NOT LOV+ !M4 ,!Y HAVE RU9$ MY LIFE1 AS !Y HAVE RU9$ ! LIVES ( ?\S&S ( BE+S BE=E ME1 & ,I CANNOT HELP CONNECT+ ! CONSEQU5CE ) ! CAUSE4 ,I CONCEIVE ?AT !Y DESIRE1 LIKE ! LAWY]S & ! RE/1 TO MAKE MONEY4 ,I W\LD WILL+LY HAVE GIV5 !M HALF ( MY 9COME--& ANY ONE W\LD HAVE DONE IT 9 MY PLACE1 UND]/&+ :AT !Y DO--IF !Y HAD CONS5T$ NOT TO M$DLE 9 MY CONJUGAL LIFE1 & TO KEEP !MSELVES AT A DI/ANCE4 ,I HAVE COMPIL$ NO /ATI/ICS1 BUT ,I KN[ SCORES ( CASES--9 REALITY1 !Y >E 9NUM]ABLE--:]E !Y HAVE KILL$1 N[ A *ILD 9 ITS MO!R'S WOMB1 ASS]T+ POSITIVELY ?AT ! MO!R C\LD NOT GIVE BIR? TO IT 7:5 ! MO!R C\LD GIVE BIR? TO IT V]Y WELL71 N[ MO!RS1 UND] ! PRETEXT ( A SO-CALL$ OP]ATION4 ,NO ONE HAS C\NT$ !SE MURD]S1 JU/ AS NO ONE C\NT$ ! MURD]S ( ! ,9QUISITION1 BECAUSE IT WAS SUPPOS$ ?AT !Y W]E COMMITT$ = ! B5EFIT ( HUMANITY4 ,9NUM]ABLE >E ! CRIMES ( ! DOCTORS6 ,BUT ALL !SE CRIMES >E NO?+ COMP>$ ) ! MAT]IALI/IC DEMORALIZATION :I* !Y 9TRODUCE 9TO ! WORLD ?R\< WOM54 ,I SAY NO?+ ( ! FACT ?AT1 IF IT W]E TO FOLL[ !IR ADVICE1--?ANKS TO ! MICROBE :I* !Y SEE EV]Y:]E1--HUMANITY1 9/EAD ( T5D+ TO UNION1 W\LD PROCE$ /RAI<T TO COMPLETE DISUNION4 ,EV]YBODY1 ACCORD+ TO !IR DOCTR9E1 %\LD ISOLATE HIMSELF1 & NEV] REMOVE FROM HIS M\? A SYR+E FILL$ ) PH5IC ACID 7MOREOV]1 !Y HAVE F\ND \T N[ ?AT IT DOES NO GOOD74 ,BUT ,I W\LD PASS OV] ALL !SE ?+S4 ,! SUPREME POISON IS ! P]V]SION ( PEOPLE1 ESPECIALLY ( WOM54 ,ONE CAN NO LONG] SAY N[3 ',Y\ LIVE BADLY1 LIVE BETT]4' ,ONE CAN NO LONG] SAY IT EI!R TO HIMSELF OR TO O!RS1 =1 IF Y\ LIVE BADLY 7SAY ! DOCTORS71 ! CAUSE IS 9 ! N]V\S SY/EM OR 9 SOME?+ SIMIL>1 & IT IS NECESS>Y TO GO TO CONSULT !M1 & !Y WILL PRESCRIBE = Y\ ?IRTY-FIVE KOPECKS' WOR? ( REM$IES TO BE B\<T AT ! DRUG-/ORE1 & Y\ MU/ SWALL[ !M4 ,Y\R CONDITION GR[S WORSE8 ,AGA9 TO ! DOCTORS1 & MORE REM$IES6 ,AN EXCELL5T BUS9ESS6 

0,BUT TO RETURN TO \R SUBJECT4 ,I WAS SAY+ ?AT MY WIFE NURS$ H] *ILDR5 WELL1 ?AT ! NURS+ & ! GE/ATION ( ! *ILDR51 & ! *ILDR5 9 G5]AL1 QUIET$ MY TORTURES ( JEAL\SY1 BUT ?AT1 ON ! O!R H&1 !Y PROVOK$ TORM5TS ( A DIFF]5T SORT40 

,FROM 3 ,WIKIS\RCE4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahi 3 ,*APT] #ae -- ,PUBLICATION4 

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