,BOOK #a1 ,*APT] #bg 

#ahhiahhi 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TRANSLATOR 3 ,B5JAM9 ,R4 ,TUCK] 

,TEXT 3 

0,I ,REMEMB] ONLY ! EXPRESSION ( !IR FACES :5 ,I OP5$ ! DOOR4 ,I REMEMB] ?AT1 BECAUSE IT AWAK5$ 9 ME A FEEL+ ( SORR[FUL JOY4 ,IT WAS AN EXPRESSION ( T]ROR1 SU* AS ,I DESIR$4 ,NEV] %ALL ,I =GET ?AT DESP]ATE & SUDD5 FRI<T ?AT APPE>$ ON !IR FACES :5 !Y SAW ME4 ,HE1 ,I BELIEVE1 WAS AT ! TABLE1 &1 :5 HE SAW OR HE>D ME1 HE />T$1 JUMP$ TO HIS FEET1 & RETREAT$ TO ! SIDEBO>D4 ,FE> WAS ! ONLY S5TIM5T ?AT C\LD BE READ ) C]TA9TY 9 HIS FACE4 ,9 H]S1 TOO1 FE> WAS TO BE READ1 BUT ACCOMPANI$ BY O!R IMPRESSIONS4 ,& YET1 IF H] FACE HAD EXPRESS$ ONLY FE>1 P]HAPS ?AT :I* HAPP5$ W\LD NOT HAVE HAPP5$4 ,BUT 9 ! EXPRESSION ( H] FACE !RE WAS AT ! FIR/ MOM5T--AT LEA/1 ,I ?\<T ,I SAW IT--A FEEL+ ( 5NUI1 ( DISCONT5T1 AT ?IS DI/URBANCE ( H] LOVE & HAPP9ESS4 ,ONE W\LD HAVE SAID ?AT H] SOLE DESIRE WAS NOT TO BE DI/URB$ ,9 ,! ,M,O,M,5,T ,( ,H,] ,H,A,P,P,9,E,S,S4 ,BUT !SE EXPRESSIONS APPE>$ UPON !IR FACES ONLY = A MOM5T4 ,T]ROR ALMO/ IMM$IATELY GAVE PLACE TO 9T]ROGATION4 ,W\LD !Y LIE OR NOT8 ,IF YES1 !Y MU/ BEG94 ,IF NOT1 SOME?+ ELSE WAS GO+ TO HAPP54 ,BUT :AT8 

0,HE GAVE H] A QUE/ION+ GLANCE4 ,ON H] FACE ! EXPRESSION ( ANGUI% & 5NUI *ANG$1 IT SEEM$ TO ME1 :5 %E LOOK$ AT HIM1 9TO AN EXPRESSION ( ANXIETY = ,H,I,M4 ,= A MOM5T ,I /OOD 9 ! DOORWAY1 HOLD+ ! DAGG] HIDD5 BEH9D MY BACK4 ,SUDD5LY HE SMIL$1 & 9 A VOICE ?AT WAS 9DIFF]5T ALMO/ TO ! PO9T ( RIDICULE1 HE SAID3 

0',WE W]E HAV+ SOME MUSIC4' 

0',I DID NOT EXPECT--1' %E BEGAN AT ! SAME TIME1 *IM+ 9 ) ! TONE ( ! O!R4 

0,BUT NEI!R HE NOR %E F9I%$ !IR REM>KS4 ,! SAME RAGE ?AT ,I HAD FELT ! PREVI\S WEEK TOOK POSSESSION ( ME4 ,I FELT ! NE$ ( GIV+ FREE C\RSE TO MY VIOL5CE & '! JOY ( WRA?4' 

0,NO1 !Y DID NOT F9I%4 ,?AT O!R ?+ WAS GO+ TO BEG91 ( :I* HE WAS AFRAID1 & WAS GO+ TO ANNIHILATE :AT !Y WANT$ TO SAY4 ,I ?REW MYSELF UPON H]1 /ILL HID+ ! DAGG]1 ?AT HE MI<T NOT PREV5T ME FROM /RIK+ :]E ,I DESIR$1 9 H] BOSOM1 UND] ! BREA/4 ,AT ?AT MOM5T HE SAW 4 4 4 &1 :AT ,I DID NOT EXPECT ON HIS P>T1 HE QUICKLY SEIZ$ MY H&1 & CRI$3 

0',COME TO Y\R S5SES6 ,:AT >E Y\ DO+8 ,HELP6 ,HELP6' 

0,I TORE MY H&S FROM HIS GRASP1 & LEAP$ UPON HIM4 ,I MU/ HAVE BE5 V]Y T]RIBLE1 = HE TURN$ AS :ITE AS A %EET1 TO HIS LIPS4 ,HIS EYES SC9TILLAT$ S+UL>LY1 &--AGA9 :AT ,I DID NOT EXPECT ( HIM--HE SCRAMBL$ UND] ! PIANO1 T[>D ! O!R ROOM4 ,I TRI$ TO FOLL[ HIM1 BUT A V]Y HEAVY WEI<T FELL UPON MY LEFT >M4 ,IT WAS %E4 

0,I MADE AN EF=T TO CLE> MYSELF4 ,%E CLUNG MORE HEAVILY ?AN EV]1 REFUS+ TO LET GO4 ,?IS UNEXPECT$ OB/ACLE1 ?IS BURD51 & ?IS REPUGNANT T\* ONLY IRRITAT$ ME ! MORE4 ,I P]CEIV$ ?AT ,I WAS COMPLETELY MAD1 ?AT ,I MU/ BE FRI<TFUL1 & ,I WAS GLAD ( IT4 ,) A SUDD5 IMPULSE1 & ) ALL MY /R5G?1 ,I DEALT H]1 ) MY LEFT ELB[1 A BL[ SQU>ELY 9 ! FACE4 

0,%E UTT]$ A CRY & LET GO MY >M4 ,I WANT$ TO FOLL[ ! O!R1 BUT ,I FELT ?AT IT W\LD BE RIDICUL\S TO PURSUE 9 MY /OCK+S ! LOV] ( MY WIFE1 & ,I DID NOT WI% TO BE GROTESQUE1 ,I WI%$ TO BE T]RIBLE4 ,9 SPITE ( MY EXTREME RAGE1 ,I WAS ALL ! TIME CONSCI\S ( ! IMPRESSION ?AT ,I WAS MAK+ UPON O!RS1 & EV5 ?IS IMPRESSION P>TIALLY GUID$ ME4 

0,I TURN$ T[>D H]4 ,%E HAD FALL5 ON ! LONG EASY *AIR1 &1 COV]+ H] FACE AT ! SPOT :]E ,I HAD /RUCK H]1 %E LOOK$ AT ME4 ,H] FEATURES EXHIBIT$ FE> & HATR$ T[>D ME1 H] 5EMY1 SU* AS ! RAT EXHIBITS :5 ONE LIFTS ! RAT-TRAP4 ,AT LEA/1 ,I SAW NO?+ 9 H] BUT ?AT FE> & HATR$1 ! FE> & HATR$ :I* LOVE = ANO!R HAD PROVOK$4 ,P]HAPS ,I /ILL %\LD HAVE RE/RA9$ MYSELF1 & %\LD NOT HAVE GONE TO ! LA/ EXTREMITY1 IF %E HAD MA9TA9$ SIL5CE4 ,BUT SUDD5LY %E BEGAN TO SPEAK2 %E GRASP$ MY H& ?AT HELD ! DAGG]4 

0',COME TO Y\R S5SES6 ,:AT >E Y\ DO+8 ,:AT IS ! MATT] ) Y\8 ,NO?+ HAS HAPP5$1 NO?+1 NO?+6 ,I SWE> IT TO Y\6' 

0,I MI<T HAVE DELAY$ LONG]1 BUT !SE LA/ WORDS1 FROM :I* ,I 9F]R$ ! CONTR>Y ( :AT !Y AFFIRM$1--?AT IS1 ?AT ,E,V,],Y,?,+ HAD HAPP5$1--!SE WORDS CALL$ = A REPLY4 ,& ! REPLY MU/ CORRESPOND TO ! CONDITION 9TO :I* ,I HAD LA%$ MYSELF1 & :I* WAS 9CREAS+ & MU/ CONT9UE TO 9CREASE4 ,RAGE HAS ITS LAWS4 

0',DO NOT LIE1 WRET*4 ,DO NOT LIE6' ,I RO>$4 

0,) MY LEFT H& ,I SEIZ$ H] H&S4 ,%E DIS5GAG$ H]SELF4 ,!N1 )\T DROPP+ MY DAGG]1 ,I SEIZ$ H] BY ! ?ROAT1 =C$ H] TO ! FLOOR1 & BEGAN TO /RANGLE H]4 ,) H] TWO H&S %E CLUT*$ M9E1 TE>+ !M FROM H] ?ROAT1 /IFL+4 ,!N ,I /RUCK H] A BL[ ) ! DAGG]1 9 ! LEFT SIDE1 BETWE5 ! L[] RIBS4 

0,:5 PEOPLE SAY ?AT !Y DO NOT REMEMB] :AT !Y DO 9 A FIT ( FURY1 !Y TALK NONS5SE4 ,IT IS FALSE4 ,I REMEMB] EV]Y?+4 

0,I DID NOT LOSE MY CONSCI\SNESS = A S+LE MOM5T4 ,! MORE ,I LA%$ MYSELF TO FURY1 ! CLE>] MY M9D BECAME1 & ,I C\LD NOT HELP SEE+ :AT ,I DID4 ,I CANNOT SAY ?AT ,I KNEW 9 ADVANCE :AT ,I W\LD DO1 BUT AT ! MOM5T :5 ,I ACT$1 & IT SEEMS TO ME EV5 A LITTLE BE=E1 ,I KNEW :AT ,I WAS DO+1 AS IF TO MAKE IT POSSIBLE TO REP5T1 & TO BE ABLE TO SAY LAT] ?AT ,I C\LD HAVE /OPP$4 

0,I KNEW ?AT ,I /RUCK ! BL[ BETWE5 ! RIBS1 & ?AT ! DAGG] 5T]$4 

0,AT ! SECOND :5 ,I DID IT1 ,I KNEW ?AT ,I WAS P]=M+ A HORRIBLE ACT1 SU* AS ,I HAD NEV] P]=M$1--AN ACT ?AT W\LD HAVE FRI<TFUL CONSEQU5CES4 ,MY ?\<T WAS AS QUICK AS LI<TN+1 & ! DE$ FOLL[$ IMM$IATELY4 ,! ACT1 TO MY 9N] S5SE1 HAD AN EXTRAORD9>Y CLE>NESS4 ,I P]CEIV$ ! RESI/ANCE ( ! CORSET & !N SOME?+ ELSE1 & !N ! S9K+ ( ! KNIFE 9TO A S(T SUB/ANCE4 ,%E CLUT*$ AT ! DAGG] ) H] H&S1 & CUT H]SELF ) IT1 BUT C\LD NOT RE/RA9 ! BL[4 

0,LONG AFT]W>DS1 9 PRISON :5 ! MORAL REVOLUTION HAD BE5 EFFECT$ )9 ME1 ,I ?\<T ( ?AT M9UTE1 ,I REMEMB]$ IT AS F> AS ,I C\LD1 & ,I CO-ORD9AT$ ALL ! SUDD5 *ANGES4 ,I REMEMB]$ ! T]RIBLE CONSCI\SNESS :I* ,I FELT1--?AT ,I WAS KILL+ A WIFE1 ,M,Y WIFE4 

0,I WELL REMEMB] ! HORROR ( ?AT CONSCI\SNESS & ,I KN[ VAGUELY ?AT1 HAV+ PLUNG$ 9 ! DAGG]1 ,I DREW IT \T AGA9 IMM$IATELY1 WI%+ TO REPAIR & >RE/ MY ACTION4 ,%E /RAI<T5$ UP & CRI$3 

0',NURSE1 HE HAS KILL$ ME6' 

0,! OLD NURSE1 :O HAD HE>D ! NOISE1 WAS /&+ 9 ! DOORWAY4 ,I WAS /ILL ]ECT1 WAIT+1 & NOT BELIEV+ MYSELF 9 :AT HAD HAPP5$4 ,BUT AT ?AT MOM5T1 FROM UND] H] CORSET1 ! BLOOD GU%$ =?4 ,!N ONLY DID ,I UND]/& ?AT ALL REP>ATION WAS IMPOSSIBLE1 & PROMPTLY ,I DECID$ ?AT IT WAS NOT EV5 NECESS>Y1 ?AT ALL HAD HAPP5$ 9 ACCORDANCE ) MY WI%1 & ?AT ,I HAD FULFILL$ MY DESIRE4 ,I WAIT$ UNTIL %E FELL1 & UNTIL ! NURSE1 EXCLAIM+1 ',OH1 MY ,GOD6' RAN TO H]2 !N ONLY ,I ?REW AWAY ! DAGG] & W5T \T ( ! ROOM4 

0',I MU/ NOT BE AGITAT$4 ,I MU/ BE CONSCI\S ( :AT ,I AM DO+1' ,I SAID TO MYSELF1 LOOK+ NEI!R AT H] NOR AT ! OLD NURSE4 ,! LATT] CRI$ & CALL$ ! MAID4 ,I PASS$ ?R\< ! HALL1 &1 AFT] HAV+ S5T ! MAID1 />T$ = MY /UDY4 

0',:AT %ALL ,I DO N[8' ,I ASK$ MYSELF4 

0,& IMM$IATELY ,I UND]/OOD :AT ,I %\LD DO4 ,DIRECTLY AFT] 5T]+ ! /UDY1 ,I W5T /RAI<T TO ! WALL1 TOOK D[N ! REVOLV]1 & EXAM9$ IT ATT5TIVELY4 ,IT WAS LOAD$4 ,!N ,I PLAC$ IT ON ! TABLE4 ,NEXT ,I PICK$ UP ! %EA? ( ! DAGG]1 :I* HAD DROPP$ D[N BEH9D ! S(A1 & !N ,I SAT D[N4 ,I REMA9$ ?US = A LONG TIME4 ,I ?\<T ( NO?+1 ,I DID NOT TRY TO REMEMB] ANY?+4 ,I HE>D A /IFL$ NOISE ( /EPS1 A MOVEM5T ( OBJECTS & ( TAPE/RIES1 !N ! >RIVAL ( A P]SON1 & !N ! >RIVAL ( ANO!R P]SON4 ,!N ,I SAW ,GREGOR BR+ 9TO MY ROOM ! BAGGAGE FROM ! RAILWAY2 AS IF ANY ONE NE$$ IT6 

0',HAVE Y\ HE>D :AT HAS HAPP5$8' ,I ASK$ HIM4 ',HAVE Y\ TOLD ! DVORNIK TO 9=M ! POLICE8' 

0,HE MADE NO ANSW]1 & W5T \T4 ,I ROSE1 CLOS$ ! DOOR1 TOOK ! CIG>ETTES & ! MAT*ES1 & BEGAN TO SMOKE4 ,I HAD NOT F9I%$ ONE CIG>ETTE1 :5 A DR[SY FEEL+ CAME OV] ME & S5T ME 9TO A DEEP SLEEP4 ,I SURELY SLEPT TWO H\RS4 ,I REMEMB] HAV+ DREAM$ ?AT ,I WAS ON GOOD T]MS ) H]1 ?AT AFT] A QU>REL WE W]E 9 ! ACT ( MAK+ UP1 ?AT SOME?+ PREV5T$ US1 BUT ?AT WE W]E FRI5DS ALL ! SAME4 

0,A KNOCK AT ! DOOR AWOKE ME4 

0',IT IS ! POLICE1' ?\<T ,I1 AS ,I OP5$ MY EYES4 ',I HAVE KILL$1 ,I BELIEVE4 ,BUT P]HAPS IT IS ,%,E2 P]HAPS NO?+ HAS HAPP5$4' 

0,ANO!R KNOCK4 ,I DID NOT ANSW]4 ,I WAS SOLV+ ! QUE/ION3 ',HAS IT HAPP5$ OR NOT8 ,YES1 IT HAS HAPP5$4' 

0,I REMEMB]$ ! RESI/ANCE ( ! CORSET1 & !N4 4 4 4 ',YES1 IT HAS HAPP5$4 ,YES1 IT HAS HAPP5$4 ,YES1 N[ ,I MU/ EXECUTE MYSELF1' SAID ,I TO MYSELF4 

0,I SAID IT1 BUT ,I KNEW WELL ?AT ,I %\LD NOT KILL MYSELF4 ,NEV]!LESS1 ,I ROSE & TOOK ! REVOLV]1 BUT1 /RANGE ?+1 ,I REMEMB]$ ?AT =M]LY ,I HAD V]Y (T5 HAD SUICIDAL IDEAS1 ?AT ?AT V]Y NI<T1 ON ! C>S1 IT HAD SEEM$ TO ME EASY1 ESPECIALLY EASY BECAUSE ,I ?\<T H[ IT W\LD /UPEFY H]4 ,N[ ,I NOT ONLY C\LD NOT KILL MYSELF1 BUT ,I C\LD NOT EV5 ?9K ( IT4 

0',:Y DO IT8' ,I ASK$ MYSELF1 )\T ANSW]+4 

0,ANO!R KNOCK AT ! DOOR4 

0',YES1 BUT ,I MU/ FIR/ KN[ :O IS KNOCK+4 ,I HAVE TIME 5\<4' 

0,I PUT ! REVOLV] BACK ON ! TABLE1 & HID IT UND] MY NEWSPAP]4 ,I W5T TO ! DOOR & DREW BACK ! BOLT4 

0,IT WAS MY WIFE'S SI/]1--A GOOD & /UPID WID[4 

0',BASILE1 :AT DOES ?IS MEAN8' SAID %E1 & H] TE>S1 ALWAYS READY1 BEGAN TO FL[4 

0',:AT DO Y\ WANT8' ,I ASK$ R\<LY4 

0,I SAW CLE>LY ?AT !RE WAS NO NECESSITY ( BE+ R\< ) H]1 BUT ,I C\LD NOT SPEAK 9 ANY O!R TONE4 

0',BASILE1 %E IS DY+4 ,IVAN ,F$OR[IT* SAYS SO4' 

0,IVAN ,F$OR[IT* WAS ! DOCTOR1 ,H,] DOCTOR1 H] C\NSELOR4 

0',IS HE H]E8' ,I 9QUIR$4 

0,& ALL MY HATR$ ( H] >OSE ANEW4 

0,WELL1 :AT8 

0',BASILE1 GO TO H]6 ,AH6 H[ T]RIBLE IT IS6' SAID %E4 

0',GO TO H]8' ,I ASK$ MYSELF2 & IMM$IATELY ,I MADE ANSW] TO MYSELF ?AT ,I \<T TO GO1 ?AT PROBABLY ?AT WAS ! ?+ ?AT IS USUALLY DONE :5 A HUSB& LIKE MYSELF KILLS HIS WIFE1 ?AT IT WAS ABSOLUTELY NECESS>Y ?AT ,I %\LD GO & SEE H]4 

0',IF ?AT IS ! PROP] ?+1 ,I MU/ GO1' ,I REPEAT$ TO MYSELF4 ',YES1 IF IT IS NECESS>Y1 ,I %ALL /ILL HAVE TIME1' SAID ,I TO MYSELF1 ?9K+ ( MY 9T5TION ( BL[+ MY BRA9S \T4 

0,& ,I FOLL[$ MY SI/]-9-LAW4 ',N[ !RE >E GO+ TO BE PHRASES & GRIMACES1 BUT ,I WILL NOT YIELD1' ,I DECL>$ TO MYSELF4 

0',WAIT1' SAID ,I TO MY SI/]-9-LAW1 'IT IS /UPID TO BE )\T BOOTS4 ,LET ME AT LEA/ PUT ON MY SLIPP]S4'0 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahhh 3 ,BOOK #a1 ,*APT] #bg -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,FEBRU>Y #a#f1 #bag 3 ,BOOK #a1 ,*APT] #bg -- ,ADD$4 

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