,9TRODUCTION 

#ahieahie 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

,I HAVE LIV$ UNTIL ! AGE ( FIFTY1 ?9K+ ?AT ?AT ! LIFE ( A HUMAN1 :I* OCCUPIES ! TIME BETWE5 HIS BIR? & DEA?1 IS ALL HIS LIFE2 & ?AT !RE=E ! GOAL ( A HUMAN IS HIS HAPP9ESS 9 ?IS MORTAL LIFE4 ,SO ,I TRI$ TO F9D ?IS HAPP9ESS4 ,BUT ! LONG] ,I LIV$1 ! MORE EVID5T IT BECAME TO ME ?AT ?IS HAPP9ESS DOES NOT & CANNOT EXI/4 ,?AT HAPP9ESS :I* ,I WAS LOOK+ = ,I C\LD NOT REA*1 YET ?AT ONE :I* ,I GA9$1 IMM$IATELY CEAS$ TO BE HAPP9ESS4  

,MORE & MORE MIS=TUNES HAVE HAPP5$1 & ! 9EVITABILITY ( DEA? BECAME MORE & MORE OBVI\S TO ME4 ,& ,I UND]/OOD ?AT AFT] ?IS MEAN+LESS & UNHAPPY LIFE1 NO?+ WAITS = ME BUT SUFF]+1 ILLNESS1 OLD AGE & ANNIHILATION4 ,I ASK$ MYSELF1 ',:AT IS ?IS =8' BUT DID NOT RECEIVE AN ANSW]4 ,I DESPAIR$4  

,:AT SOME PEOPLE TOLD ME1 & ( :AT ,I SOMETIMES TRI$ TO CONV9CE MYSELF1 NAMELY1 ?AT ,I MU/ WI% = HAPP9ESS NOT = MYSELF ALONE BUT = O!RS1 = CLOS$ ONES & = ALL PEOPLE1 -- ?AT DID NOT SATISFY ME BECAUSE1 FIR/LY1 ,I C\LD NOT S9C]ELY WI% = HAPP9ESS = O!RS AS MU* AS ,I DO = MYSELF2 SECONDLY1 & *IEFLY1 BECAUSE O!RS1 JU/ LIKE MYSELF1 W]E ALSO DOOM$ TO UNHAPP9ESS & DEA?4 ,& !RE=E ALL MY EF=TS T[>D !IR HAPP9ESS W]E FUTILE4  

,I DESPAIR$4 ,BUT !N ,I ?\<T ?AT MY DESPAIR MI<T BE CAUS$ BY ! FACT ?AT ,I'M DIFF]5T1 & ?AT O!R PEOPLE KN[ :AT !Y LIVE = & !RE=E !Y DO NOT DESPAIR4 ,SO ,I BEGAN TO OBS]VE O!R PEOPLE2 BUT !Y1 LIKE MYSELF1 DID NOT KN[ :AT !Y LIV$ =4 ,SOME TRI$ TO SIL5CE !IR IGNORANCE 9 ! AIMLESS R\ND ( LIFE2 SOME REASSUR$ !MSELVES & O!RS ?AT !Y BELIEV$ 9 V>I\S RELIGIONS !Y W]E 9DOCTR9AT$ ) S9CE *ILDHOOD1 AL?\< IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO BELIEVE 9 :AT !Y BELIEV$1 IT WAS SO FOOLI%4 ,& MANY ( !M1 AS IT SEEM$ TO ME1 ONLY PRET5D$ !Y BELIEV$1 BUT DEEP D[N !Y DID NOT BELIEVE4 

,I C\LD NO LONG] CONT9UE TO HU/LE & BU/LE1 = NO HU/LE C\LD HIDE ! QUE/ION ALWAYS OP5 9 FRONT ( ME4 ,& ,I C\LD NOT />T AGA9 BELIEV+ ! RELIGION :I* ,I WAS TAU<T 9 MY *ILDHOOD1 :I*1 ONCE ,I HAVE MATUR$ 9 M9D1 HAS LEFT ME BY ITSELF4 ,BUT ! MORE ,I LE>N$1 ! MORE ,I GREW CONV9C$ ?AT 9 ?IS RELIGION !RE C\LD NOT BE POSSIBLY TRU?1 ?AT !RE IS ONLY HYPOCRISY & SELFI% AIMS ( ! DECEIV]S1 & ! WEAKNESS ( M9D1 /UBBORNNESS & ! FE> ( ! DECEIV$4 ,NOT TO M5TION ! 9N] CONTRADICTIONS ( ?IS TEA*+1 -- ITS MEANNESS1 ITS BRUTALITY 9 PR(ESS+ ,GOD PUNI%+ PEOPLE ) ET]NAL TORM5TS4 7,ALL !SE CONTRADICTIONS1 ABSURDITIES & CRUELTIES ,I EXPOS$ 9 DETAIL 9 MY WORK1 ,! ,CRITICISM ( ,DOGMATIC ,!OLOGY1 :]E ALL ! ,*UR* DOGMAS & !SES1 AS TAU<T 9 \R !OLOGY1 >E EXAM9$ 9 SEQU5CE47 ,! MA9 ?+ ?AT DID NOT LET ME BELIEVE 9 ?IS DOCTR9E WAS KN[L$GE ?AT BESIDE ! ,OR?ODOX ,*RI/IAN TEA*+1 ASS]T+ ITSELF BE+ ! ONLY TRUE ONE1 !RE EXI/$ ! SECOND TEA*+ ( ,*RI/IANITY -- ! ,ROMAN ,CA?OLIC2 ! ?IRD -- ! ,LU!RAN2 ! F\R? -- ! ,DISS5T1 & ALL ! V>I\S ,*RI/IAN TEA*+S1 EA* ( :I* ASS]T$ ITSELF AS ! ONLY TRUE TEA*+4  

,I ALSO KNEW ?AT BESIDE !SE ,*RI/IAN TEA*+S1 NON-,*RI/IAN TEA*+S ALSO EXI/$ -- ,BUDDHISM1 ,BRAHMANISM1 ,MOHAMM$ANISM1 ,CONFUCIANISM1 & O!RS1 ALSO ASS]T+ !MSELVES TO BE TRUE1 & ALL O!R TEA*+S - TO BE ]RONE\S4  

,I C\LD NEI!R RETURN TO RELIGION ,I WAS TAU<T 9 MY *ILDHOOD1 NOR BELIEVE ANY ( ?OSE PR(ESS$ AMONG O!R NATIONS1 BECAUSE ALL ( !M HAD ! SAME CONTRADICTIONS1 ABSURDITIES1 MIRACLES1 D5IAL ( ALL O!R RELIGIONS &1 MO/ IMPORTANTLY1 ! DECEIT1 DEM&S = BL9D TRU/ 9 !IR TEA*+4  

,SO1 ,I HAVE CONV9C$ MYSELF ?AT AMONG ! EXI/5T RELIGIONS ,I WILL NOT F9D AN ANSW] TO MY QUE/ION NOR EASE MY SUFF]+4 ,MY DESPAIR WAS SO GREAT ?AT ,I WAS ON ! V]GE ( SUICIDE4  

,AT ?IS PO9T1 ! SALVATION CAME4 ,FROM *ILDHOOD ,I HAD RETA9$ A VAGUE IDEA ?AT ! ,GOSPEL HAS ! ANSW] TO MY QUE/ION4 ,9 ?IS TEA*+1 9 ! ,GOSPEL1 DESPITE ( ALL ! P]V]SIONS :I* IT HAS BE5 SUBJECT$ TO 9 ! DOCTR9E ( ! ,*RI/IAN ,*UR*1 ,I FELT TRU?4 ,& AS ! LA/ EF=T1 AFT] DISC>D+ ALL ! 9T]PRETATIONS ( ! ,GOSPEL TEA*+1 ,I BEGAN TO READ ! ,GOSPELS & TO P5ETRATE !IR MEAN+4 ,& ! MORE ,I P5ETRAT$ ! MEAN+ ( ?IS BOOK1 ! MORE ,I GRASP$ SOME?+ NEW1 QUITE DIFF]5T FROM :AT ,*RI/IAN *UR*ES TEA*1 BUT ANSW]+ ! QUE/ION ( MY LIFE4 

,& F9ALLY1 ! ANSW] BECAME COMPLETELY CLE>4 ,?IS ANSW] WAS NOT ONLY CLE>1 BUT UNQUE/IONABLE2 BECAUSE1 FIR/LY1 IT MAT*$ 5TIRELY TO ! REQUIREM5TS ( MY REASON & HE>T1 & SECONDLY1 :5 ,I CAME TO UND]/& IT1 ,I SAW ?AT ?IS WAS NOT JU/ MY SPECIAL 9T]PRETATION ( ! ,GOSPEL 7AS IT MI<T APPE>71 NOR EV5 ! SPECIAL REVELATION ( ,*RI/1 BUT ! V]Y ANSW] TO ! QUE/ION ( LIFE :I* MORE OR LESS CLE>LY WAS EXPRESS$ BY ! BE/ PEOPLE ( MANK9D1 BE=E & AFT] ! ,GOSPEL1 />T+ FROM ,MOSES1 ,ISAIAH1 ,CONFUCIUS1 ANCI5T ,GREEKS1 ,BUDDHA1 ,SOCRATES1 UP TO ,PASCAL1 ,SP9OZA1 ,FI*TE1 ,FU]BA* & ALL ?OSE1 (T5 UNNOTIC$ & NOT FAM\S PEOPLE1 :O S9C]ELY1 9/EAD ( JU/ BELIEV+ ! TEA*+S1 ?\<T & SPOKE AB\T ! MEAN+ ( LIFE4 ,SO1 9 ?IS UND]/&+ ( TRU? ,I DISCOV]$ FROM ! ,GOSPEL1 ,I NOT ONLY WAS NOT ALONE1 BUT ,I WAS TOGE!R ) ALL ! BE/ PEOPLE ( ! PA/ & ( \R TIME4 ,I BECAME CONFIRM$ 9 ?IS TRU?1 & AT PEACE1 & AFT] ?AT LIV$ HAPPILY #b YE>S ( MY LIFE1 & N[ ) GLADNESS APPROA* DEA?4  

,& ?IS ANSW] TO ! MEAN+ ( MY LIFE1 :I* GAVE ME COMPLETE COM=T & JOY ( LIFE1 ,I WANT TO PASS TO PEOPLE4 ,I AM ) ONE FOOT 9 GRAVE1 DUE TO MY AGE & HEAL? CONDITION1 & !RE=E WORLDLY CONSID]ATIONS HAVE NO MEAN+ TO ME4 ,EV5 IF !Y HAD1 ,I KN[ ?AT ?IS EXPLANATION ( MY BELIEFS WILL NOT CONTRIBUTE TO MY WORLDLY WELF>E NOR PEOPLE'S K9D ATTITUDE T[>D ME1 BUT1 ON ! CONTR>Y1 MAY ONLY DI/URB & UPSET BO? UNBELIEV]S :O DEM& FROM ME FICTIONAL WORK RA!R ?AN POND]+ OV] FAI?1 & BELIEV]S :O >E 5RAG$ AT MY RELIGI\S WRIT+S & BLAME ME = !M4 ,9 ADDITION1 MO/ LIKELY1 ?IS WRIT+ WILL BECOME KN[N TO PEOPLE ONLY AFT] MY DEA?4 ,& SO :AT PROMPTS ME TO DO :AT ,I'M DO+ IS NOT GRE$1 NOT FAME1 NOT WORLDLY CONSID]ATIONS1 BUT ONLY ! FE> ( NOT FULFILL+ ( :AT ,HE1 :O S5T ME 9TO ?IS WORLD & TO ,:OM ,I AM WAIT+ = MY RETURN AT ANY H\R1 WANTS FROM ME4 

,I !RE=E ASK ALL ?OSE :O WILL READ ?IS3 READ & UND]/& MY WRIT+1 PUTT+ ASIDE1 AS ,I DID1 ALL WORLDLY CONSID]ATIONS1 & BE>+ 9 M9D ONLY ! ET]NAL S\RCE ( TRU? & GOODNESS BY ! WILL ( :I* WE CAME 9TO ?IS WORLD1 & V]Y SOON1 AS CORPOREAL CREATURES1 WILL VANI% FROM IT2 &1 )\T HA/E & IRRITATION1 UND]/& & DISCUSS :AT ,I SAY2 &1 9 CASE ( DISAGREEM5T1 CORRECT ME NOT ) CONTEMPT & HATR$ BUT ) EMPA?Y & LOVE2 & 9 CASE Y\ AGREE ) ME1 REMEMB] ?AT IF ,I TELL TRU?1 ?IS TRU? IS NOT M9E BUT ( ,GOD1 & IT'S JU/ ACCID5TALLY P>T ( IT GOES ?R\< ME1 JU/ AS IT GOES ?R\< EA* & EV]Y ONE ( US :5 WE KN[ TRU? & TRANSF] IT TO O!RS4 

7,S\RCE3 ,TRANSLAT$ ) ,GOD'S SPIRIT BY ,E>?LY,FIRE,FLIES4ORG1 #b#b7 

,FROM 3 ,WIKIS\RCE4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahid 3 ,9TRODUCTION -- ,PUBLICATION4 

 FILE G5]AT$ FROM 3  
HTTP3_/_/REVOLTLIB4COM_/