,*APT] #a 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,WILLIAM ,GODW9 

,TEXT 3 

,*,A,P,T,] ,X4 

  

,I AM N[ L$1 BY ! C\RSE ( MY N>RATIVE1 TO ! LA/ FATAL SC5E ( H] LIFE4 ,%E WAS TAK5 9 LABOR ON ,W$NESDAY1 ! ?IRTIE? ( ,AUGU/4 ,%E HAD BE5 SOME:AT 9DISPOS$ ON ! PREC$+ ,FRIDAY1 ! CONSEQU5CE1 ,I BELIEVE1 ( A SUDD5 AL>M4 ,BUT FROM ?AT TIME %E WAS 9 P]FECT HEAL?4 ,%E WAS SO F> FROM BE+ UND] ANY APPREH5SION AS TO ! DIFFICULTIES ( *ILD-BIR?1 AS FREQU5TLY TO RIDICULE ! FA%ION ( LADIES 9 ,5GL&1 :O KEEP !IR *AMB] = ONE FULL MON? AFT] DELIV]Y4 ,= H]SELF1 %E PROPOS$ COM+ D[N TO D9N] ON ! DAY IMM$IATELY FOLL[+4 ,%E HAD ALREADY HAD SOME EXP]I5CE ON ! SUBJECT 9 ! CASE ( ,FANNY2 & ,I *E]FULLY SUBMITT$ 9 EV]Y PO9T TO H] JUDGM5T & H] WISDOM4 ,%E HIR$ NO NURSE4 ,9FLU5C$ BY IDEAS ( DECORUM1 :I* C]TA9LY \<T TO HAVE NO PLACE1 AT LEA/ 9 CASES ( DANG]1 %E DET]M9$ TO HAVE A WOMAN TO ATT5D H] 9 ! CAPACITY ( MIDWIFE4 ,%E WAS S5SIBLE ?AT ! PROP] BUS9ESS ( A MIDWIFE1 9 ! 9/ANCE ( A NATURAL LABOR1 IS TO SIT BY & WAIT = ! OP]ATIONS ( NATURE1 :I* SELDOM1 9 !SE AFFAIRS1 DEM& ! 9T]POSITION ( >T4 

,AT FIVE O'CLOCK 9 ! MORN+ ( ! DAY ( DELIV]Y1 %E FELT :AT %E CONCEIV$ TO BE SOME NOTICES ( ! APPROA*+ LABOR4 ,MRS4 ,BL5K9SOP1 MATRON & MIDWIFE TO ! ,WE/M9/] ,LY+ 9 ,HOSPITAL1 :O HAD SE5 ,M>Y SEV]AL TIMES PREVI\S TO H] DELIV]Y1 WAS SOON AFT] S5T =1 & >RIV$ AB\T N9E4 ,DUR+ ! :OLE DAY ,M>Y WAS P]FECTLY *E]FUL4 ,H] PA9S CAME ON SL[LY2 &1 9 ! MORN+1 %E WROTE SEV]AL NOTES1 ?REE ADDRESS$ TO ME1 :O HAD GONE1 AS USUAL1 TO MY AP>TM5TS1 = ! PURPOSE ( /UDY4 ,AB\T TWO O'CLOCK 9 ! AFT]NOON1 %E W5T UP TO H] *AMB]1--NEV] MORE TO DESC5D4 

,! *ILD WAS BORN AT TW5TY M9UTES AFT] ELEV5 AT NI<T4 ,M>Y HAD REQUE/$ ?AT ,I W\LD NOT COME 9TO ! *AMB] TILL ALL WAS OV]1 & SIGNIFI$ H] 9T5TION ( !N P]=M+ ! 9T]E/+ (FICE ( PRES5T+ ! NEW-BORN *ILD TO ITS FA!R4 ,I WAS SITT+ 9 A P>LOR2 & IT WAS NOT TILL AFT] TWO O'CLOCK ON ,?URSDAY MORN+1 ?AT ,I RECEIV$ ! AL>M+ 9TELLIG5CE1 ?AT ! PLAC5TA WAS NOT YET REMOV$1 & ?AT ! MIDWIFE D>$ NOT PROCE$ ANY FUR!R1 & GAVE H] OP9ION = CALL+ 9 A MALE PRACTITION]4 ,I ACCORD+LY W5T = ,DR4 ,POIGN&1 PHYSICIAN & MAN-MIDWIFE TO ! SAME HOSPITAL1 :O >RIV$ BETWE5 ?REE & F\R H\RS AFT] ! BIR? ( ! *ILD4 ,HE IMM$IATELY PROCE$$ TO ! EXTRACTION ( ! PLAC5TA1 :I* HE BR\<T AWAY 9 PIECES1 TILL HE WAS SATISFI$ ?AT ! :OLE WAS REMOV$4 ,9 ?AT PO9T H[EV] IT AFT]W>DS APPE>$ ?AT HE WAS MI/AK54 

,! P]IOD FROM ! BIR? ( ! *ILD TILL AB\T EI<T O'CLOCK ! NEXT MORN+1 WAS A P]IOD FULL ( P]IL & AL>M4 ,! LOSS ( BLOOD WAS CONSID]ABLE1 & PRODUC$ AN ALMO/ UN9T]RUPT$ S]IES ( FA9T+ FITS4 ,I W5T TO ! *AMB] SOON AFT] F\R 9 ! MORN+1 & F\ND H] 9 ?IS /ATE4 ,%E TOLD ME SOME TIME ON ,?URSDAY1 0?AT %E %\LD HAVE DI$ ! PREC$+ NI<T1 BUT ?AT %E WAS DET]M9$ NOT TO LEAVE ME40 ,%E ADD$1 ) ONE ( ?OSE SMILES :I* SO EM95TLY ILLUM9AT$ H] C\NT5ANCE1 0?AT ,I %\LD NOT BE LIKE ,PORSON10 ALLUD+ TO ! CIRCUM/ANCE ( ?AT GREAT MAN HAV+ LO/ HIS WIFE1 AFT] BE+ ONLY A FEW MON?S M>RI$4 ,SPEAK+ ( :AT %E HAD ALREADY PASS$ ?R\<1 %E DECL>$1 0?AT %E HAD NEV] KN[N :AT BODILY PA9 WAS BE=E40 

,ON ,?URSDAY MORN+ ,DR4 ,POIGN& REPEAT$ HIS VISIT4 ,M>Y HAD JU/ BE=E EXPRESS$ SOME 9CL9ATION TO SEE ,DR4 ,GEORGE ,=DYCE1 A MAN PROBABLY ( MORE SCI5CE ?AN ANY O!R M$ICAL PR(ESSOR 9 ,5GL&1 & BETWE5 :OM & H]SELF !RE HAD LONG SUBSI/$ A MUTUAL FRI5D%IP4 ,I M5TION$ ?IS TO ,DR4 ,POIGN&1 BUT HE RA!R DISC\NT5ANC$ ! IDEA1 OBS]V+ ?AT HE SAW NO NECESSITY = IT1 & ?AT HE SUPPOS$ ,DR4 ,=DYCE WAS NOT P>TICUL>LY CONV]SANT ) OB/ETRICAL CASES2 BUT ?AT ,I W\LD DO AS ,I PLEAS$4 ,AFT] ,DR4 ,POIGN& WAS GONE1 ,I DET]M9$ TO S5D = ,DR4 ,=DYCE4 ,HE ACCORD+LY SAW ! PATI5T AB\T ?REE O'CLOCK ON ,?URSDAY AFT]NOON4 ,HE H[EV] P]CEIV$ NO P>TICUL> CAUSE ( AL>M2 &1 ON ?AT OR ! NEXT DAY1 QUOT$1 AS ,I AM TOLD1 ,M>Y'S CASE1 9 A MIX$ COMPANY1 AS A CORROBORATION ( A FAVORITE IDEA ( HIS1 ( ! PROPRIETY ( EMPLOY+ FEMALES 9 ! CAPACITY ( MIDWIVES4 ,M>Y 0HAD HAD A WOMAN1 & WAS DO+ EXTREMELY WELL40 

,:AT HAD PASS$ H[EV] 9 ! NI<T BETWE5 ,W$NESDAY & ,?URSDAY1 HAD SO F> AL>M$ ME1 ?AT ,I DID NOT QUIT ! H\SE1 & SC>CELY ! *AMB]1 DUR+ ! FOLL[+ DAY4 ,BUT MY AL>MS WORE (F1 AS TIME ADVANC$4 ,APPE>ANCES W]E MORE FAVORABLE1 ?AN ! EXHAU/$ /ATE ( ! PATI5T W\LD ALMO/ HAVE P]MITT$ ME TO EXPECT4 ,FRIDAY MORN+ !RE=E ,I DEVOT$ TO A BUS9ESS ( SOME URG5CY1 :I* CALL$ ME TO DIFF]5T P>TS ( ! T[N1 & :I*1 BE=E D9N]1 ,I HAPPILY COMPLET$4 ,ON MY RETURN1 & DUR+ ! EV5+1 ,I RECEIV$ ! MO/ PLEASURABLE S5SATIONS FROM ! PROMIS+ /ATE ( ! PATI5T4 ,I WAS N[ P]FECTLY SATISFI$ ?AT EV]Y ?+ WAS SAFE1 & ?AT1 IF %E DID NOT TAKE COLD1 OR SUFF] FROM ANY EXT]NAL ACCID5T1 H] SPE$Y RECOV]Y WAS C]TA94 

,SATURDAY WAS A DAY LESS AUSPICI\S ?AN ,FRIDAY1 BUT NOT ABSOLUTELY AL>M+4 

,SUNDAY1 ! ?IRD ( ,SEPTEMB]1 ,I N[ REG>D AS ! DAY1 ?AT F9ALLY DECID$ ON ! FATE ( ! OBJECT DE>E/ TO MY HE>T ?AT ! UNIV]SE CONTA9$4 ,5C\RAG$ BY :AT ,I CONSID]$ AS ! PROGRESS ( H] RECOV]Y1 ,I ACCOMPANI$ A FRI5D 9 ! MORN+ 9 SEV]AL CALLS1 ONE ( !M AS F> AS ,K5S+TON1 & DID NOT RETURN TILL D9N]-TIME4 ,ON MY RETURN ,I F\ND A DEGREE ( ANXIETY 9 EV]Y FACE1 & WAS TOLD ?AT %E HAD HAD A SORT ( %IV]+ FIT1 & HAD EXPRESS$ SOME ANXIETY AT ! L5G? ( MY ABS5CE4 ,MY SI/] & A FRI5D ( H]S1 HAD BE5 5GAG$ TO D9E BEL[ /AIRS1 BUT A MESSAGE WAS S5T TO PUT !M (F1 & ,M>Y ORD]$ ?AT ! CLO? %\LD NOT BE LAID1 AS USUAL1 9 ! ROOM IMM$IATELY UND] H] ON ! FIR/ FLOOR1 BUT 9 ! GR\ND-FLOOR P>LOR4 ,I FELT A PANG AT HAV+ BE5 SO LONG & SO UNSEASONABLY ABS5T1 & DET]M9$ ?AT ,I W\LD NOT REPEAT ! FAULT4 

,9 ! EV5+ %E HAD A SECOND %IV]+ FIT1 ! SYMPTOMS ( :I* W]E 9 ! HI<E/ DEGREE AL>M+4 ,EV]Y MUSCLE ( ! BODY TREMBL$1 ! TEE? *ATT]$1 & ! B$ %OOK UND] H]4 ,?IS CONT9U$ PROBABLY = FIVE M9UTES4 ,%E TOLD ME1 AFT] IT WAS OV]1 ?AT IT HAD BE5 A /RUGGLE BETWE5 LIFE & DEA?1 & ?AT %E HAD BE5 MORE ?AN ONCE1 9 ! C\RSE ( IT1 AT ! PO9T ( EXPIR+4 ,I N[ APPREH5D !SE TO HAVE BE5 ! SYMPTOMS ( A DECID$ MORTIFICATION1 OCCASION$ BY ! P>T ( ! PLAC5TA ?AT REMA9$ 9 ! WOMB4 ,AT ! TIME H[EV] ,I WAS F> FROM CONSID]+ IT 9 ?AT LI<T4 ,:5 ,I W5T = ,DR4 ,POIGN&1 BETWE5 TWO & ?REE O'CLOCK ON ! MORN+ ( ,?URSDAY1 DESPAIR WAS 9 MY HE>T4 ,! FACT ( ! ADHESION ( ! PLAC5TA WAS /AT$ TO ME2 &1 IGNORANT AS ,I WAS ( OB/ETRICAL SCI5CE1 ,I FELT AS IF ! DEA? ( ,M>Y WAS 9 A MANN] DECID$4 ,BUT HOPE HAD RE-VISIT$ MY BOSOM2 & H] *E>+S W]E SO DELI<TFUL1 ?AT ,I HUGG$ H] OB/9ATELY TO MY HE>T4 ,I WAS ONLY MORTIFI$ AT :AT APPE>$ TO ME A NEW DELAY 9 ! RECOV]Y ,I SO E>NE/LY LONG$ =4 ,I IMM$IATELY S5T = ,DR4 ,=DYCE1 :O HAD BE5 ) H] 9 ! MORN+1 AS WELL AS ON ! ?REE PREC$+ DAYS4 ,DR4 ,POIGN& HAD ALSO CALL$ ?IS MORN+ BUT DECL9$ PAY+ ANY FUR!R VISITS1 AS WE HAD ?\<T PROP] TO CALL 9 ,DR4 ,=DYCE4 

,! PROGRESS ( ! DISEASE WAS N[ UN9T]RUPT$4 ,ON ,TUESDAY ,I F\ND IT NECESS>Y AGA9 TO CALL 9 ,DR4 ,=DYCE 9 ! AFT]NOON1 :O BR\<T ) HIM ,DR4 ,CL>KE ( ,NEW ,BURL+TON-/REET1 UND] ! IDEA ?AT SOME OP]ATION MI<T BE NECESS>Y4 ,I HAVE ALREADY SAID1 ?AT ,I P]T9ACI\SLY P]SI/$ 9 VIEW+ ! FAIR SIDE ( ?+S2 & !RE=E ! 9T]VAL BETWE5 ,SUNDAY & ,TUESDAY EV5+1 DID NOT PASS )\T SOME MIXTURE ( *E]FULNESS4 ,ON ,MONDAY1 ,DR4 ,=DYCE =BAD ! *ILD'S HAV+ ! BREA/1 & WE !RE=E PROCUR$ PUPPIES TO DRAW (F ! MILK4 ,?IS OCCASION$ SOME PLEASANTRY ( ,M>Y ) ME & ! O!R ATT5DANTS4 ,NO?+ C\LD EXCE$ ! EQUANIMITY1 ! PATI5CE & AFFECTIONAT5ESS ( ! POOR SUFF]]4 ,I 9TREAT$ H] TO RECOV]2 ,I DWELT ) TREMBL+ FONDNESS ON EV]Y FAVORABLE CIRCUM/ANCE2 &1 AS F> IT WAS POSSIBLE 9 SO DREADFUL A SITUATION1 %E1 BY H] SMILES & K9D SPEE*ES1 REW>D$ MY AFFECTION4 

,W$NESDAY WAS TO ME ! DAY ( GREATE/ TORTURE 9 ! MELAN*OLY S]IES4 ,IT WAS N[ DECID$ ?AT ! ONLY *ANCE ( SUPPORT+ H] ?R\< :AT %E HAD TO SUFF]1 WAS BY SUPPLY+ H] RA!R FREELY ) W9E4 ,?IS TASK WAS DEVOLV$ UPON ME4 ,I BEGAN AB\T F\R O'CLOCK 9 ! AFT]NOON4 ,BUT = ME1 TOTALLY IGNORANT ( ! NATURE ( DISEASES & ( ! HUMAN FRAME1 ?US TO PLAY ) A LIFE ?AT N[ SEEM$ ALL ?AT WAS DE> TO ME 9 ! UNIV]SE1 WAS TOO DREADFUL A TASK4 ,I KNEW NEI!R :AT WAS TOO MU*1 NOR :AT WAS TOO LITTLE4 ,HAV+ BEGUN1 ,I FELT COMPELL$1 UND] EV]Y DISADVANTAGE1 TO GO ON4 ,?IS LA/$ = ?REE H\RS4 ,T[>DS ! 5D ( ?AT TIME1 ,I HAPP5$ FOOLI%LY TO ASK ! S]VANT :O CAME \T ( ! ROOM1 0,:AT %E ?\<T ( H] MI/RESS80 %E REPLI$1 0?AT1 9 H] JUDGM5T1 %E WAS GO+ AS FA/ AS POSSIBLE40 ,!RE >E MOM5TS1 :5 ANY CREATURE ?AT LIVES1 HAS P[] TO DRIVE ONE 9TO MADNESS4 ,I SEEM$ TO KN[ ! ABSURDITY ( ?IS REPLY2 BUT ?AT WAS ( NO CONSEQU5CE4 ,IT ADD$ TO ! MEASURE ( MY DI/RACTION4 ,A LITTLE AFT] SEV5 ,I 9TREAT$ A FRI5D TO GO = ,MR4 ,C>LISLE1 & BR+ HIM 9/ANTLY :]EV] HE WAS TO BE F\ND4 ,HE HAD VOLUNT>ILY CALL$ ON ! PATI5T ON ! PREC$+ ,SATURDAY1 & TWO OR ?REE TIMES S9CE4 ,HE HAD SE5 H] ?AT MORN+1 & HAD BE5 E>NE/ 9 RECOMM5D+ ! W9E-DIET4 ,?AT DAY HE D9$ F\R MILES \T ( T[N1 ON ! SIDE ( ! METROPOLIS1 :I* WAS FUR!/ FROM US4 ,NOT)/&+ ?IS1 MY FRI5D RETURN$ ) HIM AFT] ?REE-QU>T]S ( AN H\R'S ABS5CE4 ,NO ONE :O KN[S MY FRI5D1 WILL WOND] EI!R AT HIS EAG]NESS OR SUCCESS1 :5 ,I NAME ,MR4 ,BASIL ,MONTAGU4 ,! SI<T ( ,MR4 ,C>LISLE ?US UNEXPECT$LY1 GAVE ME A /RONG] ALLEVIAT+ S5SATION1 ?AN ,I ?\<T IT POSSIBLE TO EXP]I5CE4 

,MR4 ,C>LISLE LEFT US NO MORE FROM ,W$NESDAY EV5+1 TO ! H\R ( H] DEA?4 ,IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO EXCE$ HIS K9DNESS & AFFECTIONATE ATT5TION4 ,IT EXCIT$ 9 EV]Y SPECTATOR A S5TIM5T LIKE ADORATION4 ,HIS CONDUCT WAS UNI=MLY T5D] & ANXI\S1 EV] UPON ! WAT*1 OBS]V+ EV]Y SYMPTOM1 & EAG] TO IMPROVE EV]Y FAVORABLE APPE>ANCE4 ,IF SKILL OR ATT5TION C\LD HAVE SAV$ H]1 ,M>Y W\LD /ILL LIVE4 ,9 ADDITION TO ,MR4 ,C>LISLE'S CON/ANT PRES5CE1 %E HAD ,DR4 ,=DYCE & ,DR4 ,CL>KE EV]Y DAY4 ,%E HAD = NURSES1 OR RA!R = FRI5DS1 WAT*+ EV]Y OCCASION TO S]VE H]1 ,MRS4 ,F5WICK1 AU?OR ( AN EXCELL5T NOVEL1 5TITL$ ,SECRECY1 ANO!R V]Y K9D & JUDICI\S LADY1 & A FAVORITE FEMALE S]VANT4 ,I WAS SC>CELY EV] \T ( ! ROOM4 ,F\R FRI5DS1 ,MR4 ,F5WICK1 ,MR4 ,BASIL ,MONTAGU1 ,MR4 ,M>%AL1 & ,MR4 ,DYSON1 SAT UP NE>LY ! :OLE ( ! LA/ WEEK ( H] EXI/5CE 9 ! H\SE1 TO BE DISPAT*$1 ON ANY ]R&1 TO ANY P>T ( ! METROPOLIS1 AT A MOM5T'S W>N+4 

,MR4 ,C>LISLE BE+ 9 ! *AMB]1 ,I RETIR$ TO B$ = A FEW H\RS ON ,W$NESDAY NI<T4 ,T[>DS MORN+ HE CAME 9TO MY ROOM ) AN ACC\NT ?AT ! PATI5T WAS SURPRIS+LY BETT]4 ,I W5T 9/ANTLY 9TO ! *AMB]4 ,BUT ,I N[ S\<T TO SUPPRESS EV]Y IDEA ( HOPE4 ,! GREATE/ ANGUI% ,I HAVE ANY CONCEPTION (1 CONSI/S 9 ?AT CRU%+ ( A NEW-BORN HOPE :I* ,I HAD ALREADY TWO OR ?REE TIMES EXP]I5C$4 ,IF ,M>Y RECOV]$1 IT WAS WELL1 & ,I %\LD SEE IT TIME 5\<4 ,BUT IT WAS TOO MI<TY A ?\<T TO BE> BE+ TRIFL$ )1 & TURN$ \T & ADMITT$ 9 ?IS ABRUPT WAY4 

,I HAD REASON TO REJOICE 9 ! FIRMNESS ( MY GLOOMY ?\<TS1 :51 AB\T T5 O'CLOCK ON ,?URSDAY EV5+1 ,MR4 ,C>LISLE TOLD US TO PREP>E \RSELVES1 = WE HAD REASON TO EXPECT ! FATAL EV5T EV]Y MOM5T4 ,TO MY ?9K+1 %E DID NOT APPE> TO BE 9 ?AT /ATE ( TOTAL EXHAU/ION1 :I* ,I SUPPOS$ TO PREC$E DEA?2 BUT IT IS PROBABLE ?AT DEA? DOES NOT ALWAYS TAKE PLACE BY ?AT GRADUAL PROCESS ,I HAD PICTUR$ TO MYSELF2 A SUDD5 PANG MAY ACCEL]ATE HIS >RIVAL4 ,%E DID NOT DIE ON ,?URSDAY NI<T4 

,TILL N[ IT DOES NOT APPE> ?AT %E HAD ANY S]I\S ?\<TS ( DY+2 BUT ON ,FRIDAY & ,SATURDAY1 ! TWO LA/ DAYS ( H] LIFE1 %E OCCASIONALLY SPOKE AS IF %E EXPECT$ IT4 ,?IS WAS H[EV] ONLY AT 9T]VALS2 ! ?\<T DID NOT SEEM TO DWELL UPON H] M9D4 ,MR4 ,C>LISLE REJOIC$ 9 ?IS4 ,HE OBS]V$1 & !RE IS GREAT =CE 9 ! SUGGE/ION1 ?AT !RE IS NO MORE PITIABLE OBJECT1 ?AN A SICK MAN1 ?AT KN[S HE IS DY+4 ,! ?\<T MU/ BE EXPECT$ TO DE/ROY HIS C\RAGE1 TO CO-OP]ATE ) ! DISEASE1 & TO C\NT]ACT EV]Y FAVORABLE EF=T ( NATURE4 

,ON !SE TWO DAYS H] FACULTIES W]E 9 TOO DECAY$ A /ATE1 TO BE ABLE TO FOLL[ ANY TRA9 ( IDEAS ) =CE OR ANY ACCURACY ( CONNECTION4 ,H] RELIGION1 AS ,I HAVE ALREADY %[N1 WAS NOT CALCULAT$ TO BE ! TORM5T ( A SICK B$2 &1 9 FACT1 DUR+ H] :OLE ILLNESS1 NOT ONE WORD ( A RELIGI\S CA/ FELL FROM H] LIPS4 

,%E WAS AFFECTIONATE & COMPLIANT TO ! LA/4 ,I OBS]V$ ON ,FRIDAY & ,SATURDAY NI<TS1 ?AT1 :5EV] H] ATT5DANTS RECOMM5D$ TO H] TO SLEEP1 %E DISCOV]$ H] WILL+NESS TO YIELD1 BY BREA?+1 P]HAPS = ! SPACE ( A M9UTE1 9 ! MANN] ( A P]SON ?AT SLEEPS1 ?\< ! EF=T1 FROM ! /ATE ( H] DISORD]1 USUALLY PROV$ 9EFFECTUAL4 

,%E WAS NOT TORM5T$ BY USELESS CONTRADICTION4 ,ONE NI<T ! S]VANT1 FROM AN ]ROR 9 JUDGM5T1 TEAZ$ H] ) IDLE EXPO/ULATIONS1 BUT %E COMPLA9$ ( IT GRIEV\SLY1 & IT WAS CORRECT$4 0,PRAY1 PRAY1 DO NOT LET H] REASON ) ME10 WAS H] EXPRESSION4 ,DEA? ITSELF IS SC>CELY SO DREADFUL TO ! 5FEEBL$ FRAME1 AS ! MONOTON\S IMPORTUNITY ( NURSES EV]-LA/+LY REPEAT$4 

,SEE+ ?AT EV]Y HOPE WAS EXT9CT1 ,I WAS V]Y DESIR\S ( OBTA9+ FROM H] ANY DIRECTIONS1 ?AT %E MI<T WI% TO HAVE FOLL[$ AFT] H] DECEASE4 ,ACCORD+LY1 ON ,SATURDAY MORN+1 ,I TALK$ TO H] = A GOOD :ILE ( ! TWO *ILDR54 ,9 CON=MITY TO ,MR4 ,C>LISLE'S MAXIM ( NOT IMPRESS+ ! IDEA ( DEA?1 ,I WAS OBLIG$ TO MANAGE MY EXPRESSIONS4 ,I !RE=E AFFECT$ TO PROCE$ :OLLY UPON ! GR\ND ( H] HAV+ BE5 V]Y ILL1 & ?AT IT W\LD BE SOME TIME BE=E %E C\LD EXPECT TO BE WELL2 WI%+ H] TO TELL ME ANY ?+ ?AT %E W\LD *OOSE TO HAVE DONE RESPECT+ ! *ILDR51 AS !Y W\LD N[ BE PR9CIPALLY UND] MY C>E4 ,AFT] HAV+ REPEAT$ ?IS IDEA TO H] 9 A GREAT V>IETY ( =MS1 %E AT L5G? SAID1 ) A SIGNIFICANT TONE ( VOICE1 0,I KN[ :AT Y\ >E ?9K+ (10 BUT ADD$1 ?AT %E HAD NO?+ TO COMMUNICATE TO ME UPON ! SUBJECT4 

,! %IV]+ FITS HAD CEAS$ 5TIRELY = ! TWO LA/ DAYS4 ,MR4 ,C>LISLE OBS]V$ ?AT H] CONT9UANCE WAS ALMO/ MIRACUL\S1 & HE WAS ON ! WAT* = FAVORABLE APPE>ANCES1 BELIEV+ IT HI<LY IMPROP] TO GIVE UP ALL HOPE1 & REM>K+1 ?AT P]HAPS ONE 9 A MILLION1 ( P]SONS 9 H] /ATE MI<T POSSIBLY RECOV]4 ,I CONCEIVE ?AT NOT ONE 9 A MILLION1 UNITES SO GOOD A CON/ITUTION ( BODY & ( M9D4 

,!SE W]E ! AMUSEM5TS ( P]SONS 9 ! V]Y GULPH ( DESPAIR4 ,AT SIX O'CLOCK ON ,SUNDAY MORN+1 ,SEPTEMB] ! T5?1 ,MR4 ,C>LISLE CALL$ ME FROM MY B$ TO :I* ,I HAD RETIR$ AT ONE1 9 CON=MITY TO MY REQUE/1 ?AT ,I MI<T NOT BE LEFT TO RECEIVE ALL AT ONCE ! 9TELLIG5CE ?AT %E WAS NO MORE4 ,%E EXPIR$ AT TW5TY M9UTES BE=E EI<T4 

,H] REMA9S W]E DEPOSIT$1 ON ! FIFTE5? ( ,SEPTEMB]1 AT T5 O'CLOCK 9 ! MORN+1 9 ! *UR*-Y>D ( ! P>I% *UR* ( ,/4 ,PANCRAS1 ,MIDDLESEX4 ,A FEW ( ! P]SONS %E MO/ E/EEM$1 ATT5D$ ! C]EMONY2 & A PLA9 MONUM5T IS N[ ]ECT+ ON ! SPOT1 BY SOME ( H] FRI5DS1 ) ! FOLL[+ 9SCRIPTION3 

M>Y WOLL/ONECRAFT GODW91 

AU?OR ( 

A V9DICATION 

( ! RI<TS ( WOMAN4 

BORN1 ,X,X,V,I,I APRIL ,M,D,C,C,L,I,X4 

DI$1 ,X SEPTEMB] ,M,D,C,C,X,C,V,I,I4 

,! LOSS ( ! WORLD 9 ?IS ADMIRABLE WOMAN1 ,I LEAVE TO O!R M5 TO COLLECT2 MY [N ,I WELL KN[1 NOR CAN IT BE IMPROP] TO DESCRIBE IT4 ,I DO NOT H]E ALLUDE TO ! P]SONAL PLEASURES ,I 5JOY$ 9 H] CONV]SATION3 !SE 9CREAS$ EV]Y DAY1 9 PROPORTION AS WE KNEW EA* O!R BETT]1 & AS \R MUTUAL CONFID5CE 9CREAS$4 ,!Y CAN BE MEASUR$ ONLY BY ! TREASURES ( H] M9D1 & ! VIRTUES ( H] HE>T4 ,BUT ?IS IS A SUBJECT = M$ITATION1 NOT = WORDS4 ,:AT ,I PURPOS$ ALLUD+ TO1 WAS ! IMPROVEM5T ?AT ,I HAVE = EV] LO/4 

,WE HAD CULTIVAT$ \R P[]S 7IF ,I MAY V5TURE TO USE ?IS SORT ( LANGUAGE7 9 DIFF]5T DIRECTIONS2 ,I *IEFLY AN ATTEMPT AT LOGICAL & METAPHYSICAL DI/9CTION1 %E A TA/E = ! PICTURESQUE4 ,ONE ( ! LEAD+ PASSIONS ( MY M9D HAS BE5 AN ANXI\S DESIRE NOT TO BE DECEIV$4 ,?IS HAS L$ ME TO VIEW ! TOPICS ( MY REFLECTION ON ALL SIDES2 & TO EXAM9E & REEXAM9E )\T 5D1 ! QUE/IONS ?AT 9T]E/ ME4 

,BUT IT WAS NOT M]ELY 7TO JUDGE AT LEA/ FROM ALL ! REPORTS ( MY MEMORY 9 ?IS RESPECT7 ! DIFF]5CE ( PROP5SITIES1 ?AT MADE ! DIFF]5CE 9 \R 9TELLECTUAL HABITS4 ,I HAVE BE5 /IMULAT$1 AS LONG AS ,I CAN REMEMB]1 BY AN AMBITION = 9TELLECTUAL DI/9CTION2 BUT1 AS LONG AS ,I CAN REMEMB]1 ,I HAVE BE5 DISC\RAG$1 :5 ,I HAVE 5DEAVOR$ TO CA/ ! SUM ( MY 9TELLECTUAL VALUE1 BY F9D+ ?AT ,I DID NOT POSSESS1 9 ! DEGREE ( SOME O!R M51 AN 9TUITIVE P]CEPTION ( 9TELLECTUAL BEAUTY4 ,I HAVE P]HAPS A /RONG & LIVELY S5SE ( ! PLEASURES ( ! IMAG9ATION2 BUT ,I HAVE SELDOM BE5 RI<T 9 ALIGN+ TO !M !IR PROPORTIONATE VALUE1 BUT BY D9T ( P]SEV]+ EXAM9ATION1 & ! *ANGE & CORRECTION ( MY FIR/ OP9IONS4 

,:AT ,I WANT$ 9 ?IS RESPECT1 ,M>Y POSSESS$1 9 A DEGREE SUP]IOR TO ANY O!R P]SON ,I EV] KNEW4 ,! /R5G? ( H] M9D LAY 9 9TUITION4 ,%E WAS (T5 RI<T1 BY ?IS MEANS ONLY1 9 MATT]S ( M]E SPECULATION4 ,H] RELIGION1 H] PHILOSOPHY1 79 BO? ( :I* ! ]RORS W]E COMP>ATIVELY FEW1 & ! /RA9 DIGNIFI$ & G5]\S7 W]E1 AS ,I HAVE ALREADY SAID1 ! PURE RESULT ( FEEL+ & TA/E4 ,%E ADOPT$ ONE OP9ION1 & REJECT$ ANO!R1 SPONTANE\SLY1 BY A SORT ( TACT1 & ! =CE ( A CULTIVAT$ IMAG9ATION2 & YET1 ?\< P]HAPS1 9 ! /RICT S5SE ( ! T]M1 %E REASON$ LITTLE1 IT IS SURPRIS+ :AT A DEGREE ( S\NDNESS IS TO BE F\ND 9 H] DET]M9ATIONS4 ,BUT1 IF ?IS QUALITY WAS ( USE TO H] 9 TOPICS ?AT SEEM ! PROP] PROV9CE ( REASON+1 IT WAS MU* MORE SO 9 MATT]S DIRECTLY APPEAL+ TO ! 9TELLECTUAL TA/E4 ,9 A ROBU/ & UNWAV]+ JUDGM5T ( ?IS SORT1 !RE IS A K9D ( WIT*CRAFT2 :5 IT DECIDES JU/LY1 IT PRODUCES A RESPONSIVE VIBRATION 9 EV]Y +5U\S M9D4 ,9 ?IS S5SE1 MY OSCILLATION & SKEPTICISM W]E FIX$ BY H] BOLDNESS4 ,:5 A TRUE OP9ION EMANAT$ 9 ?IS WAY FROM ANO!R M9D1 ! CONVICTION PRODUC$ 9 MY [N ASSUM$ A SIMIL> *>ACT]1 9/ANTANE\S & FIRM4 ,?IS SPECIES ( 9TELLECT PROBABLY DIFF]S FROM ! O!R1 *IEFLY 9 ! RELATION ( E>LI] & LAT]4 ,:AT ! ONE P]CEIVES 9/ANTANE\SLY 7CIRCUM/ANCES HAV+ PRODUC$ 9 IT1 EI!R A PREMATURE ATT5TION TO OBJECTS ( ?IS SORT1 OR A GREAT] BOLDNESS ( DECISION7 ! O!R RECEIVES ONLY BY DEGREES4 ,:AT IT WANTS1 SEEMS TO BE NO?+ MORE ?AN A M9UTE ATT5TION TO FIR/ IMPRESSIONS1 & A JU/ APPRECIATION ( !M2 HABITS ?AT >E NEV] SO EFFECTUALLY G5]AT$1 AS BY ! DAILY RECURR5CE ( A /RIK+ EXAMPLE4 

,?IS LI<T WAS L5T TO ME = A V]Y %ORT P]IOD1 & IS N[ EXT+UI%$ = EV]6 

,:ILE ,I HAVE DESCRIB$ ! IMPROVEM5T ,I WAS 9 ! ACT ( RECEIV+1 ,I BELIEVE ,I HAVE PUT D[N ! LEAD+ TRAITS ( H] 9TELLECTUAL *>ACT]4 

,! ,5D4 

,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,JANU>Y #e1 #bba 3 ,*APT] #a -- ,ADD$4 
,JANU>Y #a#g1 #bbb 3 ,*APT] #a -- ,UPDAT$4 

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