,VOLUME #a1 ,*APT] #ac 

#aicaaica 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN 

,TEXT 3 

  

,PHOTO BY ,ALI/AIR ,?ACK]1,C,C ,B,Y-,N,C-,N,D ,LIC5SE ,LIV+ ,MY ,LIFE 

BY ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN 

,VOLUME ,ONE 

,NEW ,YORK3 ,ALFR$ ,A ,KNOPF ,9C41#a#i#c#a4 

,*APT] #ac 

,! DAYS & WEEKS ?AT FOLL[$ MY RELEASE W]E LIKE A NI<TM>E4 ,I NE$$ QUIET1 PEACE1 & PRIVACY AFT] MY PRISON EXP]I5CE1 BUT ,I WAS SURR\ND$ BY PEOPLE1 & !RE W]E MEET+S NE>LY EV]Y EV5+4 ,I LIV$ 9 A DAZE3 EV]Y?+ >\ND ME SEEM$ 9CONGRU\S & UNREAL4 ,MY ?\<TS CONT9U$ 9 CAPTIVITY2 MY FELL[ CONVICTS HAUNT$ MY WAK+ & SLEEP+ H\RS1 & ! PRISON NOISES KEPT R++ 9 MY E>S4 ,! COMM& 0,CLOSE60 FOLL[$ BY ! CRA% ( IRON DOORS & ! CLANK-CLANK ( ! *A9S1 PURSU$ ME :5 ,I FAC$ AN AUDI5CE4 

,! /RANGE/ EXP]I5CE ,I HAD WAS AT ! MEET+ >RANG$ TO WELCOME ME ON MY RELEASE4 ,IT TOOK PLACE 9 ! ,?ALIA ,!AT] & ! H\SE WAS CR[D$4 ,MANY WELL-KN[N M5 & WOM5 ( V>I\S SOCIAL GR\PS 9 ,NEW ,YORK HAD COME TO CELEBRATE MY LIB]ATION4 ,I SAT LI/LESS1 9 A /UPOR4 ,I /ROVE TO KEEP CONTACT ) REALITY1 TO LI/5 TO :AT WAS GO+ ON1 TO CONC5TRATE ON :AT ,I 9T5D$ TO SAY1 BUT IT WAS 9 VA94 ,I KEPT DRIFT+ BACK TO ,BLACKWELL'S ,ISL&4 ,! VA/ AUDI5CE IMP]CEPTIBLY *ANG$ TO ! PALE1 FRI<T5$ FACES ( ! WOM5 PRISON]S1 ! VOICES ( ! SPEAK]S TOOK ON ! H>%NESS ( ! HEAD MATRON4 ,PRES5TLY ,I BECAME CONSCI\S ( ! PRESSURE ( A H& ON MY %\LD]4 ,IT WAS ,M>IA ,L\ISE1 :O WAS PRESID+ AT ! MEET+4 ,%E HAD CALL$ ME SEV]AL TIMES & HAD ANN\NC$ ?AT ,I WAS ! NEXT TO ADDRESS ! GA!R+4 0,Y\ SEEM AS IF ASLEEP10 %E SAID4 

,I GOT TO MY FEET1 WALK$ TO ! FOOTLI<TS1 SAW ! AUDI5CE RISE TO GREET ME4 ,!N ,I TRI$ TO SPEAK4 ,MY LIPS MOV$1 BUT !RE WAS NO S\ND4 ,HIDE\S FIGURES 9 FANTA/IC /RIPES EM]G$ FROM EV]Y AISLE1 SL[LY MOV+ T[>DS ME4 ,I GREW FA9T & HELPLESSLY TURN$ TO ,M>IA ,L\ISE4 ,9 A :ISP]1 AS IF FE>+ TO BE OV]HE>D1 ,I BEGG$ H] TO EXPLA9 TO ! AUDI5CE ?AT ,I FELT DIZZY & ?AT ,I W\LD SPEAK LAT]4 ,$ WAS NE> & HE L$ ME BEH9D ! /AGE 9TO A DRESS+-ROOM4 ,I HAD NEV] BE=E LO/ CONTROL ( MYSELF OR ( MY VOICE1 & ! OCCURR5CE FRI<T5$ ME4 ,$ TALK$ REASSUR+LY1 TELL+ ME ?AT EV]Y S5SITIVE P]SON C>RI$ ! PRISON 9 HIS HE>T = A LONG TIME4 ,HE URG$ ME TO LEAVE ! CITY ) HIM1 F9D A QUIET PLACE & GREAT] PEACE4 ,DE> ,$1 HIS S(T VOICE & T5D] WAY ALWAYS SOO!D ME4 ,N[1 TOO1 !Y HAD ! SAME EFFECT4 

,PRES5TLY ! S\ND ( A BEAUTIFUL VOICE REA*$ ! DRESS+-ROOM4 ,ITS SPEE* WAS UNFAMILI> TO ME4 0,:O IS SPEAK+ N[80 ,I ASK$4 0,?AT IS ,M>IA ,RODDA1 AN ,ITALIAN GIRL AN>*I/10 ,$ REPLI$2 0%E IS ONLY SIXTE5 YE>S OLD & HAS JU/ COME TO ,AM]ICA40 ,! VOICE ELECTRIFI$ ME & ,I WAS EAG] TO SEE ITS [N]4 ,I /EPP$ TO ! DOOR LEAD+ TO ! PLAT=M4 ,M>IA ,RODDA WAS ! MO/ EXQUISITE CREATURE ,I HAD EV] SE54 ,%E WAS ( M$IUM HEI<T1 & H] WELL-%AP$ HEAD1 COV]$ ) BLACK CURLS1 RE/$ LIKE A LILY ( ! VALLEY ON H] SL5D] NECK4 ,H] FACE WAS PALE1 H] LIPS CORAL-R$4 ,P>TICUL>LY /RIK+ W]E H] EYES3 L>GE1 BLACK COALS FIR$ BY AN 9N] LI<T4 ,LIKE MYSELF1 V]Y FEW 9 ! AUDI5CE UND]/OOD ,ITALIAN1 BUT ,M>IA'S /RANGE BEAUTY & ! MUSIC ( H] SPEE* R\S$ ! :OLE ASSEMBLY TO T5SE/ 5?USIASM4 ,M>IA PROV$ A V]ITABLE RAY ( SUNLI<T TO ME4 ,MY SPOOKS VANI%$1 ! PRISON WEI<TS DROPP$ (F2 ,I FELT FREE & HAPPY1 AMONG FRI5DS4 

,I SPOKE AFT] ,M>IA4 ,! AUDI5CE AGA9 ROSE1 TO A MAN1 APPLAUD+4 ,I S5S$ ?AT ! PEOPLE W]E SPONTANE\SLY RESPONSIVE TO MY PRISON /ORY1 BUT ,I WAS NOT DECEIV$2 ,I KNEW 9TUITIVELY ?AT IT WAS ,M>IA ,RODDA'S Y\? & *>M ?AT FASC9AT$ !M & NOT MY SPEE*4 ,YET ,I1 TOO1 WAS /ILL Y\NG-ONLY TW5TY-FIVE4 ,I /ILL HAD ATTRACTION1 BUT COMP>$ ) ?AT LOVELY FL[]1 ,I FELT OLD4 ,! SORR[S ( ! WORLD HAD MATUR$ ME BEYOND MY YE>S2 ,I FELT OLD & SAD4 ,I WOND]$ :E!R A HI< IDEAL1 MADE MORE F]V5T BY ! TE/ ( FIRE1 C\LD /& \T AGA9/ Y\? & DAZZL+ BEAUTY4 

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

,ON ! WAY TO MY ROOM ,I SPOKE TO ,$ AB\T ,M>IA4 ,TO MY SURPRISE HE DID NOT %>E MY 5?USIASM4 ,HE ADMITT$ ?AT %E WAS RAVI%+1 BUT HE ?\<T H] BEAUTY W\LD NOT 5DURE1 MU* LESS H] 5?USIASM = \R IDEALS4 0,LAT9 WOM5 MATURE Y\NG10 HE SAID2 0!Y GR[ OLD ) !IR FIR/ *ILD1 OLD 9 BODY & 9 SPIRIT40 0,WELL1 !N1 ,M>IA %\LD GU>D AGA9/ HAV+ *ILDR5 IF %E WANTS TO DEVOTE H]SELF TO \R MOVEM5T10 ,I REM>K$4 0,NO WOMAN %\LD DO ?AT10 ,$ REPLI$1 EMPHATICALLY4 0,NATURE HAS MADE H] = MO!RHOOD4 ,ALL ELSE IS NONS5SE1 >TIFICIAL & UNREAL40 

,I HAD NEV] BE=E HE>D SU* S5TIM5TS EXPRESS$ BY ,$4 ,HIS CONS]VATISM R\S$ MY ANG]4 ,I DEM&$ TO KN[ IF HE ?\<T ME ALSO NONS5SICAL BECAUSE ,I PREF]R$ TO WORK = AN IDEAL 9/EAD ( PRODUC+ *ILDR54 ,I EXPRESS$ CONTEMPT = ! REACTION>Y ATTITUDE ( \R ,G]MAN COMRADES ON !SE MATT]S4 ,I HAD BELIEV$ ?AT HE WAS DIFF]5T1 BUT ,I C\LD SEE ?AT HE WAS LIKE ! RE/4 ,P]HAPS HE1 TOO1 LOV$ ONLY ! WOMAN 9 ME1 WANT$ ME ONLY AS HIS WIFE & ! BE>] ( HIS *ILDR54 ,HE WAS NOT ! FIR/ TO EXPECT ?AT ( ME1 BUT HE MI<T AS WELL KN[ ?AT ,I W\LD NEV] BE ?AT -- NEV]6 ,I HAD *OS5 MY PA?2 NO MAN %\LD EV] TAKE ME FROM IT4 

,I HAD /OPP$ WALK+4 ,$ ALSO /OOD /ILL4 ,I SAW ! PA9$ EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE1 BUT ALL HE SAID WAS3 0,PLEASE1 DE>E/1 COME ALONG OR WE %ALL SOON HAVE A L>GE AUDI5CE40 ,HE TOOK ME G5TLY BY ! >M1 BUT ,I FRE$ MYSELF & HA/5$ (F ALONE4 

,MY LIFE ) ,$ HAD BE5 GLORI\S & COMPLETE1 )\T ANY RIFT4 ,BUT N[ IT CAME2 MY DREAM ( LOVE & TRUE COMRADE%IP SUFF]$ A RUDE AWAK5+4 ,$ HAD NEV] /RESS$ HIS LONG+1 EXCEPT :5 HE HAD PROTE/$ AGA9/ MY JO9+ ! MOVEM5T ( ! UNEMPLOY$4 ,I ?\<T !N ?AT IT WAS ONLY HIS CONC]N = MY HEAL?4 ,H[ WAS ,I TO KN[ ?AT IT WAS SOME?+ ELSE1 ! 9T]E/ ( ! MALE8 ,YES1 ?AT IS :AT IT WAS1 ! MAN'S 9/9CT ( POSSESSION1 :I* BROOKS NO DEITY EXCEPT HIMSELF4 ,WELL1 IT %\LD NOT BE1 EV5 IF ,I HAD TO GIVE HIM UP4 ,ALL MY S5SES CRI$ \T = HIM4 ,C\LD ,I LIVE )\T ,$1 )\T ! JOY HE GAVE ME8 

,WE>Y & MIS]ABLE1 MY ?\<TS DWELT ON ,$1 ON ,M>IA ,RODDA1 & ON RECOLLECTIONS ( ,SANTA ,CAS]IO4 ,! LATT]'S IMAGE BR\<T TO MY M9D ! REVOLUTION>Y EV5TS 9 ,FRANCE ( REC5T OCCURR5CE4 ,A NUMB] ( ,ATT5TATS HAD TAK5 PLACE !RE4 ,!RE HAD BE5 ALSO ! PROTE/S ( ,EMILE ,H5RI & ,AUGU/E ,VAILLANT AGA9/ ! POLITICAL CORRUPTION1 ! FR5ZI$ SPECULATION ) ! ,PANAMA ,CANAL FUNDS1 & ! RESULTANT FAILURE ( ! BANKS1 9 :I* ! MASSES LO/ !IR LA/ SAV+S1 CAUS+ WIDESPREAD MIS]Y & WANT4 ,BO? HAD BE5 EXECUT$4 ,VAILLANT'S ACT HAD HAD NO FATAL RESULT2 NO ONE HAD LO/ HIS LIFE OR EV5 BE5 W\ND$4 ,YET HE WAS ALSO CONDEMN$ TO DEA?4 ,MANY LEAD+ M51 AMONG !M ,FRANQOIS ,COPPEE1 ,EMILE ,ZOLA1 & O!RS HAD PLEAD$ ) ,PRESID5T ,C>NOT TO COMMUTE HIS S5T5CE4 ,HE REFUS$1 IGNOR+ EV5 ! PA!TIC LETT] ( ,VAILLANT'S LITTLE *ILD1 A GIRL ( N9E1 :O HAD PETITION$ = ! LIFE ( H] FA!R4 ,VAILLANT WAS GUILLOT9$4 ,SOME TIME LAT] ,PRESID5T ,C>NOT1 :ILE DRIV+ 9 HIS C>RIAGE1 WAS /ABB$ TO DEA? BY A Y\NG ,ITALIAN4 ,ON HIS DAGG] WAS F\ND ! 9SCRIPTION3 0,REV5GE = ,VAILLANT40 ,! ,ITALIAN'S NAME WAS ,SANTA ,CAS]IO1 & HE HAD TRAMP$ ON FOOT FROM ,ITALY TO AV5GE HIS COMRADE1 ,VAILLANT4 

,I HAD READ AB\T HIS ACT & O!R SIMIL> OCCURR5CES 9 ! AN>*I/ PAP]S ,$ US$ TO SMUGGLE 9TO PRISON4 ,9 ! LI<T ( !M MY P]SONAL GRIEF OV] MY FIR/ S]I\S QU>REL ) ,$ N[ APPE>$ LIKE A M]E SPECK ON ! SOCIAL HORIZON ( PA9 & BLOOD4 ,ONE BY ONE ! H]OIC NAMES ( ?OSE :O HAD SACRIFIC$ !IR LIVES = !IR IDEAL OR W]E /ILL BE+ M>TYR$ 9 PRISON CAME BE=E ME3 MY [N ,SA%A & ! O!RS - ALL SO F9ELY ATTUN$ TO ! 9JU/ICE ( ! WORLD1 SO HI<-M9D$1 DRIV5 BY SOCIAL =CES TO DO ! V]Y ?+ !Y ABHORR$ MO/1 TO DE/ROY HUMAN LIFE4 ,SOME?+ DEEP 9 MY CONSCI\SNESS REBELL$ AGA9/ SU* TRAGIC WA/E1 YET ,I KNEW !RE WAS NO ESCAPE4 ,I HAD LE>N$ ! FE>FUL EFFECTS ( ORGANIZ$ VIOL5CE3 9EVITABLY IT BEGETS MORE VIOL5CE4 

,SA%A'S SPIRIT1 =TUNATELY1 H[EV]1 ALWAYS HOV]$ OV] ME1 HELP+ ME TO =GET EV]Y?+ P]SONAL4 ,HIS LETT] ( WELCOME ON MY RELEASE WAS ! MO/ BEAUTIFUL ,I HAD SO F> RECEIV$ FROM HIM4 ,IT TE/IFI$ NOT ONLY TO HIS LOVE & HIS FAI? 9 ME1 BUT ALSO TO HIS [N VALOR & /R5G? ( *>ACT]4 ,$ HAD KEPT ! COPIES ( ! ,GEFANGNISS-,BLU!N1 ! LITTLE UND]GR\ND MAGAZ9E ?AT ,SA%A1 ,NOLD1 & ,BAU] W]E $IT+ 9 PRISON4 ,SA%A'S WILL TO LIFE WAS APP>5T 9 EV]Y WORD1 9 HIS DET]M9ATION TO FI<T ON & NOT TO P]MIT ! 5EMY TO CRU% HIM4 ,! SPIRIT ( ! BOY ( TW5TY-?REE WAS EXTRAORD9>Y4 ,IT %AM$ ME = MY [N FA9T HE>T4 ,YET ,I KNEW ?AT ! P]SONAL W\LD ALWAYS PLAY A DOM9ANT P>T 9 MY LIFE4 ,I WAS NOT HEWN ( ONE PIECE1 LIKE ,SA%A OR O!R H]OIC FIGURES4 ,I HAD LONG REALIZ$ ?AT ,I WAS WOV5 ( MANY SKE9S1 CONFLICT+ 9 %ADE & TEXTURE4 ,TO ! 5D ( MY DAYS ,I %\LD BE TORN BETWE5 ! YE>N+ = A P]SONAL LIFE & ! NE$ ( GIV+ ALL TO MY IDEAL4 

,$ CAME E>LY ! NEXT DAY4 ,HE WAS HIS USUAL WELL-POIS$1 \TW>DLY CALM SELF AGA94 ,BUT ,I HAD LOOK$ 9TO ! TURBUL5T WAT]S ( HIS S\L TOO (T5 TO BE MI/$ BY HIS RES]VE4 ,HE SUGGE/$ ?AT WE TAKE A TRIP4 ,I HAD BE5 \T ( PRISON AB\T A =TNI<T & WE HAD NOT YET HAD ONE COMPLETE DAY ALONE4 ,WE W5T TO ,MANHATTAN ,BEA*4 ,! ,NOVEMB] AIR WAS %>P1 ! SEA /ORMY2 BUT ! SUN %ONE BRI<TLY4 ,$ WAS NEV] MU* ( A TALK]1 BUT ON ?IS DAY HE SPOKE A GREAT DEAL AB\T HIMSELF1 HIS 9T]E/ 9 ! MOVEM5T1 HIS LOVE = ME4 ,HIS T5 YE>S' 9C>C]ATION HAD GIV5 HIM MU* TIME = REFLECTION4 ,HE HAD COME \T BELIEV+ AS DEEPLY 9 ! TRU? & BEAUTY ( AN>*ISM AS :5 HE HAD FIR/ 5T]$ PRISON4 ,HE CONT9U$ TO BELIEVE 9 ! ULTIMATE TRIUMPH ( \R IDEAS1 BUT WAS N[ CONV9C$ ?AT ?AT TIME WAS F> (F4 ,HE NO LONG] LOOK$ = GREAT *ANGES 9 HIS [N LIFETIME4 ,ALL HE C\LD DO WAS TO >RANGE HIS [N LIFE AS NE>LY TRUE TO HIS VISION AS POSSIBLE4 ,9 ?AT LIFE HE WANT$ ME2 HE WANT$ ME ) ALL ! /R5G? ( HIS BE+4 ,HE ADMITT$ ?AT HE W\LD BE HAPPI] IF ,I W\LD GIVE UP ! PLAT=M & DEVOTE MY TIME TO /UDY1 TO WRIT+ OR A PR(ESSION4 ,?AT W\LD NOT KEEP HIM 9 CON/ANT ANXIETY AB\T MY LIFE & FRE$OM4 ,Y\ >E SO 9T5SE1 SO IMPETU\S1 HE SAID1 0,I FE> = Y\R SAFETY40 ,HE BEGG$ ME NOT TO BE ANGRY BECAUSE HE BELIEV$ ?AT WOMAN WAS PRIM>ILY A MO!R4 ,HE WAS SURE ?AT ! /RONGE/ MOTIVE 9 MY DEVOTION TO ! MOVEM5T WAS UNSATISFI$ MO!RHOOD SEEK+ AN \TLET4 0,Y\ >E A TYPICAL MO!R1 MY LITTLE ,EMMA1 BY BUILD1 BY FEEL+4 ,Y\R T5D]NESS IS ! GREATE/ PRO( ( IT40 

,I WAS PR(\NDLY /IRR$4 ,:5 ,I C\LD F9D WORDS1 POOR 9ADEQUATE WORDS1 TO CONVEY :AT ,I FELT1 ,I C\LD ONLY TELL HIM AGA9 ( MY LOVE1 ( MY NE$ ( HIM1 ( MY LONG+ TO GIVE HIM MU* ( :AT HE CRAV$4 ,MY />V$ MO!RHOOD-WAS ?AT ! MA9 REASON = MY IDEALISM8 ,HE HAD R\S$ ! OLD YE>N+ = A *ILD4 ,BUT ,I HAD SIL5C$ ! VOICE ( ! *ILD = ! SAKE ( ! UNIV]SAL1 ! ALL-ABSORB+ PASSION ( MY LIFE4 ,M5 W]E CONSECRAT$ TO IDEALS & YET W]E FA!RS ( *ILDR54 ,BUT MAN'S PHYSICAL %>E 9 ! *ILD IS ONLY A MOM5T'S2 WOMAN'S P>T IS = YE>S - YE>S ( ABSORPTION 9 ONE HUMAN BE+ TO ! EXCLUSION ( ! RE/ ( HUMANITY4 ,I W\LD NEV] GIVE UP ! ONE = ! O!R4 ,BUT ,I W\LD GIVE HIM MY LOVE & DEVOTION4 ,SURELY IT MU/ BE POSSIBLE = A MAN & A WOMAN TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL LOVE-LIFE & YET BE DEVOT$ TO A GREAT CAUSE4 ,WE MU/ TRY4 ,I PROPOS$ ?AT WE F9D A PLACE :]E WE C\LD LIVE TOGE!R1 NO LONG] SEP>AT$ BY SILLY CONV5TIONS-A HOME ( \R [N1 EV5 IF POOR4 ,\R LOVE W\LD BEAUTIFY IT1 \R WORK W\LD GIVE IT MEAN+4 ,$ BECAME 5?USIA/IC OV] ! IDEA & TOOK ME 9 HIS >MS4 ,MY /RONG1 BIG LOV]1 HE HAD ALWAYS HAT$ ! LEA/ DEMON/RATION ( AFFECTION 9 PUBLIC4 ,N[ 9 HIS JOY HE =GOT ?AT WE W]E 9 A RE/AURANT4 ,I TEAS$ HIM ON HIS HAV+ R5\NC$ HIS GOOD MANN]S1 BUT HE WAS LIKE A *ILD1 GAY & FROLICSOME AS ,I HAD NEV] SE5 HIM BE=E4 

,NE>LY F\R WEEKS PASS$ BE=E WE C\LD C>RY \T \R PLANS4 ,! PAP]S HAD TURN$ ME 9TO A CELEBRITY1 & ,I SOON LE>N$ ! ,G]MAN TRUISM3 0,MAN KANN NI*T UNGE/RAFT UNT] ,PALM5 W&ELN40 ,I KNEW ( ! ,AM]ICAN CRAZE = CELEBRITIES1 ESPECIALLY ! ,AM]ICAN WOM5'S HUNT = ANYONE 9 ! LIMELI<T1 BE IT PRIZE-FI<T]1 BASEBALL-PLAY]1 MAT9EE IDOL1 WIFE-KILL]1 OR DECREPIT ,EUROPEAN >I/OCRAT4 ,?ANKS TO MY IMPRISONM5T & ! SPACE GIV5 TO MY NAME 9 ! NEWSPAP]S1 ,I ALSO BECAME A CELEBRITY4 ,EV]Y DAY BR\<T /ACKS ( 9VITATIONS TO LUN*EONS & D9N]S4 ,EV]YONE SEEM$ EAG] TO 0TAKE ME UP40 

,( ! MANY 9VITATIONS %[]$ ON ME ,I WELCOM$ MO/ ONE FROM ! ,SW9TONS4 ,!Y WROTE ASK+ ME TO COME TO D9N] & TO BR+ ,$ & ,JU/US4 ,!IR AP>TM5T WAS SIMPLY & BEAUTIFULLY FURNI%$ & FULL ( CURIOS & GIFTS4 ,I SAW A LOVELY SAMOV> S5T !M BY ,RUSSIAN EXILES 9 RECOGNITION ( ,SW9TON'S TIRELESS WORK 9 BEHALF ( ,RUSSIAN FRE$OM1 AN EXQUISITE SET ( ,SEVRES GIV5 HIM BY ,FR5* ,COMMUN>DS :O HAD ESCAP$ ! FURY ( ,?I]S & ,GALLIFFET AFT] ! %ORT-LIV$ ,P>IS ,COMMUNE ( #a#h#g#a1 BEAUTIFUL PEASANT EMBROID]Y FROM ,HUNG>Y1 & O!R GIFTS ( APPRECIATION ( ! SPL5DID SPIRIT & P]SONALITY ( ! GREAT ,AM]ICAN LIB]T>IAN4 

,ON \R >RIVAL ,JOHN ,SW9TON1 TALL & ]ECT1 ) A SILK CAP ON HIS :ITE HAIR1 PROCE$$ TO SCOLD ME = :AT ,I HAD SAID AB\T ! ,NEGROES 9 PRISON4 ,HE HAD READ 9 ! ,NEW ,YORK ,WORLD MY DISCLOSURES ( CONDITIONS 9 ! P5IT5TI>Y4 ,HE LIK$ ! >TICLE1 BUT HE WAS GRIEV$ TO SEE ?AT ,EMMA ,GOLDMAN HAD 0! :ITE MAN'S PREJUDICE AGA9/ ! COLOR$ RACE40 ,I WAS DUMBF\ND$4 ,I C\LD NOT UND]/& H[ ANYONE1 LEA/ ( ALL A MAN LIKE ,JOHN ,SW9TON1 C\LD READ RACE PREJUDICE 9TO MY /ORY4 ,I HAD PO9T$ \T ! DISCRIM9ATION PRACTIC$ BETWE5 SICK & />V$ :ITE WOM5 & ,NEGRO FAVORITES4 ,I %\LD HAVE PROTE/$ AS MU* HAD COLOR$ WOM5 BE5 ROBB$ ( !IR RATIONS4 0,TO BE SURE1 TO BE SURE10 ,SW9TON REPLI$2 0/ILL1 Y\ %\LD NOT HAVE EMPHASIZ$ ! P>TIALITY4 ,WE :ITE PEOPLE HAVE COMMITT$ SO MANY CRIMES AGA9/ ! ,NEGRO ?AT NO AM\NT ( EXTRA K9DNESS CAN ATONE = !M4 ,! MATRON IS NO D\BT A BEA/1 BUT ,I =GIVE H] MU* = H] SYMPA?Y ) ! POOR ,NEGRO PRISON]S40 0,BUT %E WAS NOT MOV$ BY SU* CONSID]ATIONS60 ,I PROTE/$2 0%E WAS K9D BECAUSE %E C\LD USE !M 9 EV]Y DESPICABLE WAY40 ,SW9TON WAS NOT CONV9C$4 ,HE HAD BE5 CLOSELY ALLI$ ) ! MO/ ACTIVE ABOLITIONI/S1 HE HAD F\<T & BE5 W\ND$ 9 ! ,CIVIL ,W>2 IT WAS APP>5T ?AT HIS FEEL+ = ! COLOR$ RACE HAD MADE HIM P>TIAL4 ,!RE WAS NO USE >GU+ ! MATT] FUR!R2 MOREOV]1 ,MRS4 ,SW9TON WAS CALL+ US TO ! TABLE4 

,!Y W]E *>M+ HO/S4 ,JOHN WAS ESPECIALLY GRACI\S & FULL ( W>M?4 ,HE WAS A MAN ( WIDE EXP]I5CE 9 PEOPLE & AFFAIRS & HE PROV$ A V]ITABLE M9T ( 9=MATION TO ME4 ,I LE>N$ = ! FIR/ TIME ( HIS %>E 9 ! CAMPAIGN TO SAVE ! ,*ICAGO AN>*I/S FROM ! GALL[S & ( O!R PUBLIC-SPIRIT$ ,AM]ICANS :O HAD VALIANTLY DEF5D$ MY COMRADES4 ,I BECAME ACQUA9T$ ) ,SW9TON'S ACTIVITIES AGA9/ ! ,RUSSIAN-,AM]ICAN ,EXTRADITION ,TREATY1 & ! P>T HE & HIS FRI5DS HAD PLAY$ 9 ! LABOR MOVEM5T4 ,! EV5+ ) ! ,SW9TONS %[$ ME A NEW ANGLE ( MY ADOPT$ C\NTRY4 ,UNTIL MY IMPRISONM5T ,I HAD BELIEV$ ?AT EXCEPT = ,ALB]T ,P>SONS1 ,DY] ,D4 ,LUM1 ,VOLTAIR9E DE ,CLEYRE1 & A FEW O!RS ,AM]ICA WAS B>R5 ( IDEALI/S4 ,H] M5 & WOM5 C>$ ONLY = MAT]IAL ACQUISITIONS1 ,I HAD ?\<T4 ,SW9TON'S ACC\NT ( ! LIB]TY-LOV+ PEOPLE :O HAD BE5 & /ILL W]E 9 EV]Y /RUGGLE AGA9/ OPPRESSION *ANG$ MY SUP]FICIAL JUDGM5T4 ,JOHN ,SW9TON MADE ME SEE ?AT ,AM]ICANS1 ONCE >\S$1 W]E AS CAPABLE ( IDEALISM & SACRIFICE AS MY ,RUSSIAN H]OES & H]O9ES4 ,I LEFT ! ,SW9TONS ) A NEW FAI? 9 ! POSSIBILITIES ( ,AM]ICA4 ,ON \R WAY D[N T[N ,I TALK$ ) ,$ & ,JU/US1 TELL+ !M ?AT FROM N[ ON ,I MEANT TO DEVOTE MYSELF TO PROPAG&A 9 ,5GLI%1 AMONG ! ,AM]ICAN PEOPLE4 ,PROPAG&A 9 =EIGN CIRCLES WAS1 ( C\RSE1 V]Y NECESS>Y1 BUT REAL SOCIAL *ANGES C\LD BE ACCOMPLI%$ ONLY BY ! NATIVES4 ,!IR 5LI<T5M5T WAS !RE=E MU* MORE VITAL1 WE ALL AGRE$4 

,AT LA/ ,$ & ,I HAD A PLACE ( \R [N4 ,) ONE HUNDR$ & FIFTY DOLL>S ,I RECEIV$ FROM ! ,NEW ,YORK ,WORLD = MY >TICLE ON PRISONS WE FURNI%$ A F\R-ROOM FLAT ON ,ELEV5? ,/REET4 ,MO/ ( \R FURNITURE WAS SECONDH&1 BUT WE HAD A NEW B$ & C\*4 ,! LATT]1 TOGE!R ) A DESK & A FEW *AIRS1 MADE UP MY SANCTUM4 ,$ WAS SURPRIS$ :5 ,I /RESS$ ! NE$ ( A ROOM = MYSELF4 ,IT WAS H>D 5\< TO BE SEP>AT$ DUR+ WORK H\RS1 HE SAID2 9 \R FREE H\RS HE WANT$ ME NE> HIM4 ,BUT ,I HELD \T = MY [N CORN]4 ,MY *ILDHOOD & Y\? HAD BE5 POISON$ BY BE+ COMPELL$ TO %>E MY ROOM ) SOMEONE ELSE4 ,EV] S9CE ,I HAD BECOME A FREE BE+1 ,I HAD 9SI/$ ON PRIVACY = AT LEA/ A P>T ( ! DAY & ! NI<T4 

,BUT = ?IS LITTLE CL\D \R LIFE 9 \R [N HOME />T$ GLORI\SLY4 ,$ WAS E>N+ ONLY SEV5 DOLL>S A WEEK AS AN 9SURANCE AG5T1 BUT HE SELDOM RETURN$ FROM WORK )\T A FL[] OR SOME O!R GIFT1 A LOVELY *9A CUP OR A VASE4 ,HE KNEW MY LOVE = COLOR & HE NEV] =GOT TO BR+ SOME?+ ?AT W\LD HELP MAKE \R PLACE *E]FUL & BRI<T4 ,WE HAD MANY VISITORS1 F> TOO MANY = ,$'S PEACE ( M9D4 ,HE WANT$ QUIET & TO BE ALONE ) ME4 ,BUT ,F$YA & ,CLAUS HAD %>$ MY LIFE 9 ! PA/1 HAD BE5 P>T1 ( MY /RUGGLE4 ,I NE$$ !IR COMPANION%IP4 

,CLAUS HAD GOT ALONG SATISFACTORILY ON ,BLACKWELL'S ,ISL&4 ,HE HAD MISS$ HIS PRECI\S BE]1 ( C\RSE1 BUT O!RWISE HE HAD DONE WELL4 ,AFT] HIS RELEASE FROM ! ISL& ,CLAUS />T$ AN AN>*I/ PAP]1 ,D] ,/URMVOGEL1 ( :I* HE WAS ! MA9 CONTRIBUTOR1 BESIDES SETT+ UP1 PR9T+1 & EV5 DELIV]+ ! PAP]4 ,BUT1 BUSY AS HE WAS1 HE C\LD NOT KEEP \T ( MIS*IEF4 ,$ HAD LITTLE PATI5CE ) MY FRI5D1 :OM HE NICKNAM$ ,PE*VOGEL4 

,F$YA HAD SECUR$ A POSITION OR A ,NEW ,YORK PUBLICATION SOON AFT] MY IMPRISONM5T1 HE WAS DO+ P5-&-9K SKET*ES & WAS ALREADY BE+ RECOGNIZ$ AS ONE ( ! BE/ 9 HIS FIELD4 ,HE HAD BEGUN AT FIFTE5 DOLL>S A WEEK1 REGUL>LY CONTRIBUT+ TO MY NE$S DUR+ MY T5 MON?S 9 ! P5IT5TI>Y4 ,N[ ?AT HE WAS E>N+ TW5TY-FIVE1 HE 9SI/$ ON MY TAK+ AT LEA/ T51 SO AS TO MAKE ANY APPEAL TO \R COMRADES UNNECESS>Y1 :I* HE KNEW ,I C\LD NOT BE>4 ,HE HAD REMA9$ ! SAME LOYAL S\L1 MORE MATUR$1 ) GR[+ CONFID5CE 9 HIMSELF & HIS >T4 

,HE FELT ?AT 9 ORD] TO KEEP HIS POSITION HE C\LD NO LONG] APPE> OP5LY 9 \R RANKS4 ,BUT HIS 9T]E/ 9 ! MOVEM5T CONT9U$ & HIS ANXIETY = ,SA%A DID NOT ABATE4 ,DUR+ MY IMPRISONM5T HE HAD HELP$ TO BUY ?+S = ,SA%A4 ,IT WAS LITTLE 5\< ONE WAS P]MITT$ 9 ! ,WE/]N ,P5IT5TI>Y3 COND5S$ MILK1 SOAP1 UND]WE>1 & SOCKS4 ,$ HAD LOOK$ AFT] ! MATT]4 ,N[ ,I WAS EAG] TO ATT5D TO !SE ?+S MYSELF & ,I ALSO DECID$ TO BEG9 A NEW CAMPAIGN = ! COMMUTATION ( ,SA%A'S S5T5CE4 

,I HAD BE5 \T TWO MON?S1 BUT ,I DID NOT =GET ! UN=TUNATES 9 PRISON4 ,I WANT$ TO DO SOME?+ = !M4 ,I NE$$ MONEY = ?IS PURPOSE & ,I ALSO WANT$ TO E>N MY [N LIV+4 

,MU* AGA9/ ,$'S WI%ES1 ,I BEGAN TO WORK AS A PRACTICAL NURSE4 ,DR4 ,JULIUS ,H(FMANN S5T ME HIS PRIVATE PATI5TS AFT] TREAT+ !M 9 ,/4 ,M>K'S ,HOSPITAL4 ,DR4 ,:ITE HAD TOLD ME BE=E ,I LEFT ! PRISON ?AT HE W\LD GIVE ME WORK 9 HIS (FICE4 ,HE C\LD NOT RECOMM5D HIS PATI5TS TO ME1 HE HAD SAID4 0,!Y >E MO/LY /UPID1 !Y W\LD BE AFRAID Y\'D POISON !M40 ,! DE> MAN KEPT HIS WORD3 HE EMPLOY$ ME = SEV]AL H\RS A DAY1 & ,I ALSO GOT WORK 9 ! NEWLY ORGANIZ$ ,BE?-,ISRAEL ,HOSPITAL ON ,EA/ ,BROADWAY4 ,I LOV$ MY PR(ESSION & ,I WAS ABLE TO E>N MORE MONEY ?AN AT ANY TIME PREVI\SLY4 ,! JOY ( NO LONG] HAV+ TO GR9D AT ! MA*9E1 9 OR \T ( A %OP1 WAS GREAT2 GREAT] /ILL ! SATISFACTION ( HAV+ MORE TIME = READ+ & = PUBLIC ACTIVITY4 

,EV] S9CE ,I HAD COME 9TO ! AN>*I/ MOVEM5T ,I HAD LONG$ = A FRI5D ( MY [N SEX1 A K9DR$ SPIRIT ) :OM ,I C\LD %>E ! 9MO/ ?\<TS & FEEL+S ,I C\LD NOT EXPRESS TO M51 NOT EV5 TO ,$4 ,9/EAD ( FRI5D%IP FROM WOM5 ,I HAD MET ) MU* ANTAGONISM1 PETTY 5VY & JEAL\SY BECAUSE M5 LIK$ ME4 ,( C\RSE1 !RE W]E EXCEPTIONS3 ,ANNIE ,NETT]1 ALWAYS BIG & G5]\S1 ,NATA%A ,NOTK91 ,M>IA ,L\ISE1 & ONE OR TWO O!RS4 ,BUT MY BOND ) !SE WAS ! MOVEM5T2 !RE WAS NO CLOSE P]SONAL1 9TIMATE PO9T ( CONTACT4 ,! COM+ 9TO MY LIFE ( ,VOLTAIR9E DE ,CLEYRE HELD \T ! HOPE ( A F9E FRI5D%IP4 

,AFT] H] VISIT TO ME 9 PRISON %E HAD KEPT ON WRIT+ WOND]FUL LETT]S ( COMRADE%IP & AFFECTION4 ,9 ONE ( !M %E HAD SUGGE/$ ?AT ON MY RELEASE ,I COME /RAI<T TO H]4 ,%E W\LD MAKE ME RE/ BE=E H] FIRE-PLACE1 %E W\LD WAIT ON ME1 READ TO ME1 & TRY TO MAKE ME =GET MY <A/LY EXP]I5CE4 ,%ORTLY AFT] ?AT %E WROTE ANO!R LETT] SAY+ ?AT %E & H] FRI5D ,A4 ,GORDON W]E COM+ TO ,NEW ,YORK & W]E ANXI\S TO VISIT ME4 ,I DID NOT WANT TO REFUSE H]- %E MEANT SO MU* TO ME -BUT ,I C\LD NOT BE> TO SEE ,GORDON4 ,ON MY FIR/ VISIT TO ,PHILADELPHIA ,I HAD MET ! MAN AT A GR\P CIRCLE & HE IMPRESS$ ME BADLY4 ,HE WAS A FOLL[] ( ,MO/ & AS SU* W\LD HATE ME4 ,AT ! GA!R+ ( ! COMRADES HE HAD D5\NC$ ME AS A DISRUPT] ( ! MOVEM5T1 *>G+ ME ) BE+ 9 IT ONLY = S5SATIONAL 5DS4 ,HE W\LD NOT P>TICIPATE 9 ANY MEET+ :]E ,I WAS TO SPEAK4 ,NOT BE+ NAIVE 5\< TO BELIEVE ?AT MY IMPRISONM5T HAD ADD$ TO MY IMPORTANCE1 ,I C\LD SEE NO CAUSE = ,GORDON'S *ANGE T[>DS ME4 ,I WROTE ?IS FRANKLY TO ,VOLTAIR9E1 EXPLA9+ ?AT ,I PREF]R$ NOT TO SEE ,GORDON4 ,I WAS P]MITT$ ONLY TWO VISITS A MON?2 ,I W\LD NOT GIVE UP ,$'S VISIT1 ! O!R BE+ TAK5 UP BY NE> FRI5DS4 ,S9CE !N ,I HAD NOT HE>D ANY MORE FROM ,VOLTAIR9E1 BUT ,I ASCRIB$ H] SIL5CE TO ILLNESS4 

,ON MY RELEASE ,I HAD RECEIV$ MANY LETT]S ( CONGRATULATION FROM FRI5DS :O %>$ MY IDEAS AS WELL AS FROM P]SONS UNKN[N TO ME4 ,BUT NOT ONE WORD DID ,I GET FROM ,VOLTAIR9E4 ,:5 ,I EXPRESS$ MY SURPRISE TO ,$1 HE 9=M$ ME ?AT ,VOLTAIR9E HAD FELT MU* HURT BECAUSE ,I HAD REFUS$ TO P]MIT ,GORDON TO VISIT ME ON ! ISL&4 ,I WAS SORRY TO LE>N ?AT SU* A SPL5DID REVOLUTIONI/ C\LD TURN FROM ME BECAUSE ,I DID NOT C>E TO SEE A FRI5D ( H]S4 ,NOTIC+ MY DISAPPO9TM5T1 ,$ REM>K$3 0,GORDON IS NOT ONLY H] FRI5D1 HE IS MORE ?AN ?AT40 ,BUT IT MADE NO DIFF]5CE2 ,I DID NOT SEE :Y A FREE WOMAN %\LD EXPECT H] FRI5DS TO ACCEPT H] LOV]4 ,I FELT ?AT ,VOLTAIR9E HAD %[N H]SELF TOO N>R[ EV] AGA9 TO 5ABLE ME TO BE FREE & AT EASE ) H]4 ,MY HOPE ( A CLOSE FRI5D%IP ) H] WAS DE/ROY$4 

,I WAS SOME:AT CONSOL$ BY ANO!R WOMAN1 Y\NG & BEAUTIFUL1 COM+ 9TO MY LIFE4 ,H] NAME WAS ,EMMA ,LEE4 ,DUR+ MY IMPRISONM5T %E HAD WRITT5 ,$ EXPRESS+ 9T]E/ 9 MY CASE4 ,H] LETT]S W]E SIGN$ ONLY ) H] 9ITIALS2 H] H&WRIT+ BE+ V]Y MASCUL9E1 ,$ HAD ?\<T H] TO BE A MAN4 0,IMAG9E MY SURPRISE10 ,$ TOLD ME ON ONE ( HIS VISITS1 :5 A Y\NG & *>M+ WOMAN WALK$ 9TO MY BA*ELOR QU>T]S40 ,BUT NOT ONLY WAS ,EMMA ,LEE *>M+2 %E ALSO HAD BRA9S & A F9E S5SE ( HUMOR4 ,I WAS DRAWN TO H] FROM ! FIR/ MOM5T :5 ,$ BR\<T H] TO SEE ME 9 PRISON4 ,AFT] MY RELEASE ,EMMA ,LEE & ,I W]E MU* TOGE!R4 ,AT FIR/ %E WAS V]Y RETIC5T AB\T H]SELF1 BUT 9 ! C\RSE ( TIME ,I LE>N$ H] /ORY4 ,%E HAD BECOME 9T]E/$ 9 ME BECAUSE %E HAD BE5 9 PRISON H]SELF & KNEW ITS HORRORS4 ,%E HAD BECOME A FREE-?9K] & HAD EMANCIPAT$ H]SELF FROM ! BELIEF ?AT LOVE IS JU/IFI$ ONLY :5 SANCTION$ BY LAW4 ,%E HAD MET A MAN :O ASSUR$ H] ?AT HE %>$ H] IDEAS4 ,HE WAS M>RI$ & V]Y UNHAPPY4 ,9 H]1 HE SAID1 HE HAD F\ND MORE ?AN A COMRADE2 HE HAD FALL5 9 LOVE ) H]4 ,%E LOV$ HIM 9 RETURN1 BUT !IR RELATION%IP 9 ! BIGOT$ ATMOSPH]E ( A SMALL ,S\!RN T[N WAS SOON MADE IMPOSSIBLE4 ,!Y W5T TO ,WA%+TON1 BUT !RE1 TOO1 P]SECUTION FOLL[$4 ,!Y PLANN$ TO REMOVE TO ,NEW ,YORK1 & ,EMMA ,LEE RETURN$ TO H] NATIVE T[N TO DISPOSE ( A PIECE ( PROP]TY %E [N$4 ,%E HAD NOT BE5 !RE MORE ?AN A WEEK :5 H] PLACE WAS SET ON FIRE4 ,! H\SE WAS 9SUR$1 & PRES5TLY ,EMMA WAS >RE/$ ON ! *>GE ( 9C5DI>ISM4 ,%E WAS CONVICT$ & GIV5 FIVE YE>S 9 PRISON4 ,DUR+ ! 5TIRE TIME ! MAN GAVE NO SIGN ( LIFE2 HE LEFT H] TO H] DOOM & WAS KEEP+ UND] COV] 9 SOME ,EA/]N CITY4 

,H] BITT] DISILLUSIONM5T WAS H>D] TO BE> ?AN ! IMPRISONM5T4 ,! DESCRIPTIONS ,EMMA ,LEE GAVE ( LIFE 9 ! ,S\!RN P5IT5TI>Y MADE EXI/5CE ON ,BLACKWELL'S ,ISL& SEEM LIKE P>ADISE4 ,9 ?AT HELL-HOLE ,NEGRO CONVICTS1 MALE & FEMALE1 W]E FLOGG$ = ! LEA/ 9FRACTION ( ! RULES4 ,:ITE WOM5 HAD EI!R TO SUBMIT TO ! KEEP]S OR />VE4 ,! ATMOSPH]E WAS LURID ) VILE TALK & VIL] ACTS BY KEEP]S & PRISON]S ALIKE4 ,EMMA WAS =C$ TO BE ON CON/ANT GU>D AGA9/ ! DEM&S ( ! ,W>D5 & ! PRISON DOCTOR4 ,ON ONE OCCASION !Y NE>LY DROVE H] TO MURD] 9 SELF-DEF5SE4 ,%E W\LD NOT HAVE COME \T ALIVE IF %E HAD NOT SUCCE$$ 9 GETT+ A NOTE TO A FRI5D 9 ! T[N1 A WOMAN4 ,?IS FRI5D 9T]E/$ SOME PEOPLE :O BEGAN QUIETLY PETITION+ ! ,GOV]NOR1 F9ALLY OBTA9+ A P>DON = ,EMMA ,LEE AFT] %E HAD S]V$ TWO YE>S4 

,S9CE !N %E HAD DEVOT$ H]SELF 5TIRELY TO BR++ AB\T FUNDAM5TAL *ANGES 9 PRISON CONDITIONS4 ,%E HAD ALREADY SUCCE$$ 9 GETT+ H] =M] TORM5TORS REMOV$ FROM (FICE1 & N[ %E WAS CO-OP]AT+ ) ! ,SOCIETY = ,PRISON ,RE=M4 

,EMMA ,LEE WAS A R>E S\L1 $UCAT$1 REF9$1 & FREE-M9D$1 AL?\< %E HAD NOT READ MU* LIB]T>IAN LIT]ATURE4 ,?R\< H] [N AFFAIRS %E HAD ALSO EMANCIPAT$ H]SELF FROM ! ANTI-,NEGRO PREJUDICE ( ! ,S\!RN]4 ,MO/ ADMIRABLE TO ME WAS H] LACK ( BITT]NESS T[>DS M54 ,H] [N LOVE TRAG$Y HAD NOT N>R[$ H] \TLOOK ON LIFE4 ,M5 W]E EGOTI/ICAL & ?\<TLESS T[>DS WOM5'S NE$S1 %E W\LD SAY2 EV5 ! FREE/ ( !M WANT$ ONLY TO POSSESS WOM54 ,BUT !Y W]E 9T]E/+ & 5T]TA9+ ,I DID NOT AGREE ) H] AB\T ! EGOTISM ( M51 & :5 ,I W\LD CITE ,$ AS AN EXCEPTION1 %E W\LD REPLY3 0,!RE IS NO D\BT HE LOVES Y\1 BUT-BUT60 ,H[EV]1 !Y GOT ON FAM\SLY4 ,!Y F\<T AB\T EV]Y?+1 BUT IT WAS ALL DONE 9 A FRI5DLY SPIRIT4 ,I WAS !IR COMMON TIE4 ,NO WOMAN EXCEPT MY [N SI/] ,HEL5A LOV$ ME AS MU* AS ,EMMA DID4 ,AS = ,$1 HE %[$ HIS AFFECTION 9 SO MANY WAYS ?AT ,I C\LD NOT D\BT HIM4 ,YET ,I KNEW ?AT ( ! TWO IT WAS ,EMMA ,LEE :O HAD LOOK$ DEEP] 9TO MY S\L4 

,EMMA ,LEE WAS EMPLOY$ 9 ! ,NURSES' ,SETTLEM5T ON ,H5RY ,/REET & ,I (T5 VISIT$ H] !RE1 SOMETIMES AS ! GUE/ ( ! WOM5 AT ! HEAD ( ! 9/ITUTION4 ,MISS ,LILLIAN ,D4 ,WALD1 ,LAV9IA ,DOCK1 & ,MISS ,MAC,D[ELL W]E AMONG ! FIR/ ,AM]ICAN WOM5 ,I MET :O FELT AN 9T]E/ 9 ! ECONOMIC CONDITION ( ! MASSES4 ,!Y W]E G5U9ELY CONC]N$ ) ! PEOPLE ( ! ,EA/ ,SIDE4 ,MY CONTACT ) !M1 AS ) ,JOHN ,SW9TON1 BR\<T ME CLOSE TO NEW ,AM]ICAN TYPES1 M5 & WOM5 ( IDEALS1 CAPABLE ( F9E1 G5]\S DE$S4 ,LIKE SOME ( ! ,RUSSIAN REVOLUTIONI/S !Y1 TOO1 HAD COME FROM WEAL?Y HOMES & HAD COMPLETELY CONSECRAT$ !MSELVES TO :AT !Y CONSID]$ A GREAT CAUSE4 ,YET !IR WORK SEEM$ PALLIATIVE TO ME4 0,TEA*+ ! POOR TO EAT ) A =K IS ALL V]Y WELL10 ,I ONCE SAID TO ,EMMA ,LEE2 0BUT :AT GOOD DOES IT DO IF !Y HAVE NOT ! FOOD8 ,LET !M FIR/ BECOME ! MA/]S ( LIFE2 !Y WILL !N KN[ H[ TO EAT & H[ TO LIVE40 ,%E AGRE$ ) MY VIEW ?AT1 S9C]E AS ! SETTLEM5T WORK]S W]E1 !Y W]E DO+ MORE H>M ?AN GOOD4 ,!Y W]E CREAT+ SNOBB]Y AMONG ! V]Y PEOPLE !Y W]E TRY+ TO HELP4 ,A Y\NG GIRL :O HAD BE5 ACTIVE 9 A %IRTWAI/-MAK]S' /RIKE1 = 9/ANCE1 WAS TAK5 UP BY !M & EXHIBIT$ AS ! PET ( ! SETTLEM5T4 ,! GIRL PUT ON AIRS & CON/ANTLY TALK$ ( ! 0IGNORANCE ( ! POOR10 :O LACK$ UND]/&+ = CULTURE & REF9EM5T4 0,! POOR >E SO CO>SE & VULG>60 %E ONCE TOLD ,EMMA4 ,H] W$D+ WAS SOON TO TAKE PLACE AT ! SETTLEM5T1 & ,EMMA 9VIT$ ME TO ATT5D ! AFFAIR4 

,IT WAS GAUDY1 ALMO/ VULG>4 ,! BRIDE1 DRESS$ 9 *EAP F9]Y1 LOOK$ UTT]LY \T ( PLACE 9 ?AT BACKGR\ND4 ,NOT ?AT ! SETTLEM5T WOM5 W]E LIV+ 9 LUXURY2 ON ! CONTR>Y1 EV]Y?+ WAS ( ! SIMPLE/1 ?\< ( ! BE/ QUALITY4 ,! V]Y SIMPLICITY ( ! 5VIRONM5T EXAGG]AT$ ! %AM$ POV]TY ( ! M>RI$ C\PLE & ! EMB>RASSM5T ( !IR OR?ODOX P>5TS4 ,IT WAS V]Y PA9FUL TO BEHOLD1 MO/ ( ALL ! SELF-IMPORTANCE ( ! BRIDE4 ,:5 ,I CONGRATULAT$ H] ON *OOS+ SU* A F9E-LOOK+ FELL[ = H] HUSB&1 %E SAID3 0,YES1 HE'S QUITE NICE1 BUT ( C\RSE HE'S NOT ( MY SPH]E4 ,Y\ SEE1 ,I AM REALLY M>RY+ BEL[ MY /ATION40 

,ALL W9T] ,$ HAD BE5 SUFF]+ FROM FALL5 >*ES2 MU* WALK+ & CLIMB+ ( /AIRS WAS CAUS+ HIM UNBE>ABLE PA94 ,9 ! E>LY SPR+ HIS CONDITION BECAME SO BAD ?AT HE HAD TO GIVE UP HIS JOB ) ! 9SURANCE AG5CY4 ,I WAS E>N+ 5\< = BO? ( US1 BUT ,$ W\LD NOT ACCEPT 0SUPPORT FROM A WOMAN40 ,MY PR\D SWEE!>T WAS COMPELL$ TO JO9 ! RANKS ( ! UNEMPLOY$ LOOK+ = WORK4 ,!RE WAS NO?+ 9 ! GREAT CITY ( ,NEW ,YORK = A MAN ( HIS CULTURE & KN[L$GE ( LANGUAGES4 0,IF ,I W]E A HOD-C>RI] OR A TAILOR10 HE W\LD SAY1 0,I C\LD GET A JOB4 ,BUT ,I'M ONLY A USELESS 9TELLECTUAL40 ,HE WORRI$1 LO/ SLEEP1 GREW ?91 & BECAME V]Y DEPRESS$4 ,HIS WOR/ MIS]Y WAS ?AT HE HAD TO REMA9 AT HOME :ILE ,I W5T TO WORK4 ,HIS MALE SELF-RESPECT C\LD NOT 5DURE SU* A SITUATION4 

,IT OCCURR$ TO ME ?AT WE MI<T TRY SOME?+ LIKE \R ICE-CREAM P>LOR 9 ,WORCE/]4 ,IT HAD BE5 SUCCESSFUL !RE2 :Y NOT 9 ,NEW ,YORK8 ,$ APPROV$ ( ! PROJECT & SUGGE/$ ?AT WE PROCE$ AT ONCE4 

,I HAD SAV$ A LITTLE MONEY1 & ,F$YA (F]$ US MORE4 ,FRI5DS ADVIS$ ,BR[NSVILLE3 IT WAS A GR[+ C5T]1 & A /ORE C\LD BE GOT NOT F> FROM ! RACE-TRACKS1 :]E ?\S&S ( PEOPLE W]E PASS+ DAILY4 ,SO TO ,BR[NSVILLE WE W5T1 & FIX$ UP A BEAUTIFUL PLACE4 ,?\S&S DID PASS BY !RE1 BUT !Y KEPT ON PASS+4 ,!Y W]E 9 A HURRY TO GET TO ! RACE-TRACK1 & ON !IR WAY HOME !Y HAD ALREADY VISIT$ SOME ICE-CREAM /ORE NE>] ! TRACK4 ,\R DAILY RECEIPTS W]E NOT 5\< TO COV] \R EXP5SES4 ,WE C\LD NOT EV5 KEEP UP ! WEEKLY PAYM5TS ON ! FURNITURE WE HAD B\<T = ! TWO ROOMS WE HAD R5T$ 9 ,BR[NSVILLE4 ,ONE AFT]NOON A WAGON DROVE UP & PROCE$$ TO COLLECT B$S1 TABLES1 *AIRS1 & EV]Y?+ ELSE WE HAD4 ,$ TRI$ TO LAU< AWAY \R PLI<T1 BUT HE WAS EVID5TLY UNHAPPY4 ,WE GAVE UP ! BUS9ESS & RETURN$ TO ,NEW ,YORK4 ,9 ?REE MON?S WE HAD LO/ FIVE HUNDR$ DOLL>S1 BESIDES ! WORK ,$1 ,CLAUS1 & ,I HAD PUT 9TO ! WRET*$ V5TURE4 

,I HAD REALIZ$ AT ! V]Y BEG9N+ ( MY NURS+ WORK ?AT ,I %\LD HAVE TO TAKE UP A REGUL> C\RSE 9 A TRA9+-S*OOL4 ,PRACTICAL NURSES W]E PAID & TREAT$ LIKE S]VANTS1 & )\T A DIPLOMA ,I C\LD NOT HOPE TO GET EMPLOYM5T AS A TRA9$ NURSE4 ,DR4 ,H(FMANN URG$ ME TO 5T] ,/4 ,M>K'S ,HOSPITAL1 :]E HE C\LD GET ME CR$ITS = ONE YE> BECAUSE ( MY EXP]I5CE4 ,IT WAS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY1 BUT !RE WAS ALSO ANO!R & A MORE ALLUR+ ONE4 ,IT WAS ,EUROPE4 

,$ HAD ALWAYS TALK$ ) GLEE ( ,VI5NA1 ( ITS BEAUTY1 *>M1 & POSSIBILITIES4 ,HE WANT$ ME TO GO !RE TO /UDY 9 ! ,ALLGEME9ES ,KRANK5HAUS4 ,I C\LD TAKE UP MIDWIF]Y & O!R BRAN*ES ( NURS+1 HE ADVIS$ ME4 ,IT W\LD GIVE ME GREAT] MAT]IAL 9DEP5D5CE LAT] ON & ALSO 5ABLE US TO BE MORE TOGE!R4 ,IT W\LD BE H>D TO 5DURE ANO!R YE>'S SEP>ATION :5 ,I HAD B>ELY BE5 GIV5 BACK TO HIM2 BUT HE WAS WILL+ TO LET ME GO1 KN[+ IT WAS = MY GOOD4 ,IT SEEM$ A FANTA/IC IDEA = PEOPLE AS POOR AS WE1 BUT GRADUALLY ,$'S 5?USIASM 9FECT$ ME4 ,I AGRE$ TO GO TO ,VI5NA1 BUT ,I W\LD COMB9E MY TRIP ABROAD ) A LECTURE T\R 9 ,5GL& & ,SCOTL&4 ,\R ,BRITI% COMRADES HAD (T5 ASK$ ME TO COME OV]4 

,$ HAD F\ND A JOB 9 ! WOOD WORK %OP ( A ,HUNG>IAN ACQUA9TANCE4 ,! MAN (F]$ TO L5D HIM MONEY1 BUT ,F$YA 9SI/$ ON HIS PRIORITY AS MY OLD FRI5D4 ,HE W\LD PAY MY PASSAGE & S5D ME TW5TY-FIVE DOLL>S A MON? DUR+ MY 5TIRE /AY 9 ,VI5NA4 

,!RE WAS A D>K %AD[1 H[EV]3 ! ?\<T ( ,SA%A 9 PRISON4 ,EUROPE WAS SO F> AWAY6 ,$ & ,EMMA ,LEE PROMIS$ TO KEEP 9 CORRESPOND5CE ) HIM & LOOK AFT] HIS NE$S4 ,SA%A HIMSELF URG$ ME TO GO4 ,NO?+ C\LD BE DONE = HIM N[1 HE WROTE1 & ,EUROPE W\LD GIVE ME ! OPPORTUNITY TO MEET \R GREAT PEOPLE - ,KROPOTK91 ,MALATE/A1 ,L\ISE ,MI*EL4 ,I %\LD BE ABLE TO LE>N MU* FROM !M & BE BETT] EQUIPP$ = MY ACTIVITIES 9 ! ,AM]ICAN MOVEM5T4 ,IT WAS JU/ LIKE MY CONSECRAT$ ,SA%A TO ?9K ( ME ALWAYS 9 T]MS ( ! ,CAUSE4 

,ON ! #a#e? ( ,AUGU/ #a#h#i#e1 EXACTLY SIX YE>S S9CE MY NEW LIFE 9 ,NEW ,YORK HAD BEGUN1 ,I SAIL$ = ,5GL&4 ,MY DEP>TURE WAS QUITE DIFF]5T FROM MY >RIVAL 9 ,NEW ,YORK 9 #a#h#h#i4 ,I WAS V]Y POOR !N1 POOR 9 MORE ?AN M]ELY MAT]IAL ?+S4 ,I WAS A *ILD1 9EXP]I5C$ & ALONE 9 ! :IRLPOOL ( ! ,AM]ICAN METROPOLIS4 ,N[ ,I HAD EXP]I5CE1 A NAME2 ,I HAD BE5 ?R\< ! CRUCIBLE2 ,I HAD FRI5DS4 ,ABOVE ALL1 ,I HAD ! LOVE ( A BEAUTIFUL P]SONALITY4 ,I WAS RI*1 YET ,I WAS SAD4 ,! ,WE/]N ,P5IT5TI>Y LAY HEAVILY ON MY HE>T1 ) ! ?\<T ( ,SA%A !RE4 

,I AGA9 TRAVEL$ /E]AGE1 MY MEANS NOT P]MITT+ MORE ?AN SIXTE5 DOLL>S = ! PASSAGE4 ,BUT !RE W]E ONLY A FEW PASS5G]S1 SOME ( :OM HAD BE5 NO LONG] 9 ! ,/ATES ?AN ,I4 ,!Y CONSID]$ !MSELVES ,AM]ICANS & !Y W]E TREAT$ ACCORD+LY1 ) MORE DEC5CY ?AN ! POOR EMIGRANTS :O HAD PILGRIM$ OV] AS ,I DID TO ! ,PROMIS$ ,L& 9 #a#h#h#f4 

,FROM 3 ,AN>*Y ,>*IVES4 

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