,Y>O/AN'S ,F\R? ,LETT] 

#aigfaigf 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,FR$Y ,P]LMAN 

,TEXT 3 

,Y>O/AN'S F\R? LETT] 

  
  

,DE> ,SOPHIA1  
  

,! >RIVAL ( Y\R LETT] CO9CID$ ) ,JASNA ,ZBRKOVA'S FIR/ VISIT TO \R H\SE4 ,JASNA1 ,MIRNA & ,I READ Y\R LETT] SIMULTANE\SLY2 EA* ( US WAIT$ ANXI\SLY = ! O!RS TO F9I% A PAGE & PASS IT ON4 ,EA* ( US WAS FASC9AT$1 SURPRIS$1 DISAPPO9T$ & ANG]$ BY Y\R ACC\NT4 

,MY SITUATION HAS *ANG$ CONSID]ABLY S9CE ,I LA/ WROTE Y\4 ,I'VE GONE BACK TO WORK AT ! C>TON PLANT4 ,AS A RESULT ,Y>A N[ DOES MO/ ( ! H\SEWORK AS WELL AS ! COOK+4 ,ON ! DAY Y\R LETT] CAME ,JASNA HELP$ ,Y>A PREP>E A SURPRISE BANQUET = ,MIRNA & ME1 TO CELEBRATE A VICTORI\S 0/RIKE0 ?AT HAD JU/ TAK5 PLACE AT !IR S*OOL4 

,:5 ,JASNA />T$ TO READ Y\R LETT] %E EXCLAIM$1 0,!Y REMEMB] ME60 ,%E WAS FLATT]$4 ,BUT ! MORE %E READ ! MORE CONFUS$ %E BECAME4 0,I HAD NEV] KN[N :AT HAD HAPP5$ TO ,SOPHIA & ,LUISA AFT] !Y W]E >RE/$ TW5TY YE>S AGO1 & ,I CAN'T UND]/& ?IS >GUM5T %E DESCRIBES2 W]E !Y RELEAS$ BE=E !IR T]MS W]E OV]80 ,JASNA ASK$ ME4 ,I TOLD H] Y\ & ,LUISA HAD SP5T ONLY TWO DAYS 9 JAIL & %E WAS AS /UNN$ AS ,I HAD BE54 0,TWO DAYS6 ,EV5 ,I WAS IMPRISON$ = A YE>1 & ,I DIDN'T HAVE A NOTION ( :AT ,I WAS DO+60 ,PLEASE UND]/&1 ,SOPHIA1 ?AT \R A/ONI%M5T AB\T ?IS FACT IS ONLY NATURAL2 AFT] ALL1 ,JASNA SP5T A YE> 9 PRISON & ,I SP5T F\R4 ,LUISA IS EXTREMELY UNFAIR :5 %E 9T]PRETS MY REF]5CES TO ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS AS ACCUSATIONS4 ,I'M NOT ACCUS+4 ,I'M SIMPLY V]Y CURI\S AB\T ! FACT ?AT ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS MANAG$ TO HAVE BO? ( Y\ RELEAS$ AFT] ONLY TWO DAYS 9 JAIL4 ,:AT P[] DID ,ALB]TS HAVE TO >RANGE Y\R RELEASE8 

,ONE ( ! COMM5TS ,JASNA MADE :ILE READ+ ! RE/ ( Y\R LETT] WAS1 0,:AT A /RANGE WORLD ?AT MU/ BE4 ,I CAN'T IMAG9E :AT ,I W\LD HAVE DONE !RE40 ,:5 %E F9I%$ READ+ ! LETT] %E SAID1 0,SOPHIA & ,LUISA DON'T SEEM TO HAVE ANY IDEA :AT HAPP5$ H]E AFT] !Y LEFT40 

,WE W]E ALL BO!R$ BY :AT ,JASNA CALL$ Y\R /RANGE WORLD4 ,! :OLE SY/EM ( ALT]NATIVES & *OICES Y\ DESCRIBE SEEMS /RANGE & UNREAL4 ,! *OICES Y\ SAY Y\ FAC$ >E 9COMPREH5SIBLE TO ME4 ,YET !SE *OICES SEEM TO BE ! S\RCE ( Y\R ATTITUDE T[>D ME1 T[>D PEOPLE Y\ KNEW TW5TY YE>S AGO & T[>D ! P$AGOGUES :O W]E Y\R UNIV]SITY FRI5DS4 ,Y\ SAY ?AT AT ONE PO9T 9 Y\R LIFE Y\ FAC$ A *OICE BETWE5 ,LUISA1 ,RON & ! UNIV]SITY1 & Y\ *OSE ! UNIV]SITY4 ,Y\ SAY Y\ REJECT$ ,LUISA'S LIFE1 ! LIFE ( A WAGE WORK]1 A LIFE ( BOR$OM )\T ANY PROSPECTS1 SU/A9$ ONLY BY ! DREAM ?AT WAGE LABOR WILL SOON 5D4 ,Y\'VE ELIM9AT$ SOME ( ! CONTRADICTIONS & ANA*RONISMS4 ,?AT LEAVES ! P>T ( ,LUISA'S LIFE ?AT CONSI/S ( DAILY WAGE LABOR4 ,9 :AT S5SE HAVE Y\ REJECT$ ?IS8 ,WAGE LABOR IS /ILL ! CONDITION = Y\R PHYSICAL SURVIVAL4 ,9 FACT Y\ ADMIT ?AT ! EV5+ CLASSES Y\ TEA* >E SOLD ACTIVITY 9 ! SAME S5SE AS ,LUISA'S FACTORY WORK4 ,SOME?+ IS WRONG ) Y\R DESCRIPTION ( Y\R ALT]NATIVES4 ,Y\ DIDN'T REJECT ,RON'S ACTUAL LIFE BUT Y\R PICTURE ( HIS LIFE4 ,Y\ MADE ?IS CLE> BY DESCRIB+ ,T9A'S & ,SAB9A'S VIEWS ( HIM 9 ADDITION TO Y\RS4 ,FROM !M1 & ALSO FROM Y\R E>LI] LETT]S1 ,I GOT A VIEW ( AN 9DIVIDUAL :O UNCOMPROMIS+LY REJECT$ REPRESSIVE RELATIONS & TRI$ TO OV]COME !M1 EV5 IF HIS ATTEMPTS SEEM *ILDI% & DIRECTIONLESS4 ,Y\ DEPICT AN 9DIVIDUAL :O DIDN'T WANT TO OV]COME CON/RA9TS1 :O WANT$ TO ADAPT TO REPRESSION & D]IVE P]SONAL B5EFIT FROM IT1 & AFT] ?IS MISLEAD+ DESCRIPTION Y\ TELL US Y\ *OSE TO LIVE Y\R LIFE AMONG J\RNALI/S4 ,Y\ *OSE TO SP5D Y\R LIFE AMONG PEOPLE ,I CONSID] OPPORTUNI/S1 & 9 Y\R LETT] Y\ ID5TIFI$ ?OSE J\RNALI/S ) PEOPLE WE KNEW TW5TY YE>S AGO 9 ! C>TON PLANT4 ,Y\ MADE ?AT ID5TIFICATION1 NOT ,I4 ,IT'S IRONIC ?AT ! >RIVAL ( Y\R LETT] CO9CID$ ) ,JASNA'S VISIT4 ,AFT] \R BANQUET ,JASNA GAVE US DETAIL$ ACC\NTS ( ! PEOPLE Y\'VE COME TO CONSID] Y\R MODELS4 ,MO/ ( ! PEOPLE WE US$ TO KN[ HAPP5 TO BE PEOPLE :O'VE BE5 WILL+ TO SELL1 NOT ONLY ! MOTION ( !IR LIMBS1 BUT !IR WILL & !IR CONSCI\SNESS1 = A WAGE2 ,I'D CALL !M 0OPPORTUNI/S40 

,BE=E TELL+ Y\ :AT WE LE>N$ FROM ,JASNA1 ,I'D LIKE TO TRY TO DESCRIBE TWO EV5TS :I* MADE ,JASNA'S N>RATIVE P>TICUL>LY SIGNIFICANT TO ME3 ! FIR/ IS MY REC5T RETURN TO WORK & ! SECOND IS ,ZD5EK ,TOB>K9'S VISIT A FEW DAYS BE=E ,JASNA'S4 ,9 ! CONTEXT ( !SE EV5TS ,JASNA'S ACC\NT MADE ME REALIZE ?AT Y\ & ,I EXP]I5CE TWO COMPLETELY DIFF]5T WORLDS4 ,IT'S NOT CLE> TO ME :AT PLACE ,I OCCUPY 9 Y\R WORLD BUT IT'S BECOM+ CLE> TO ME :AT PLACE Y\ OCCUPY 9 M9E3 IT'S ! SAME PLACE Y\ & ,I OCCUPI$ TW5TY YE>S AGO DUR+ \R ACTIVITY 9 ! C>TON PLANT4 ,BUT DUR+ ?OSE TW5TY YE>S ! C>TON PLANT *ANG$ & ,I *ANG$4 ,I'VE COME TO REALIZE ?AT MY ,LIFE WAS D]AIL$ PRECISELY AT ! 9T]SECTION :I* Y\ CONSID] ! FULFILLM5T ( Y\R LIFE4 ,I FLIRT$ ) Y\R WORLD MU* ! SAME WAY AS ,T9A ACCUS$ Y\ ( HAV+ FLIRT$ ) ,RON'S WORLD4 ,9 ?IS RESPECT AT LEA/ ,I'M NOT COMP>ABLE TO ,RON4 ,HE NEV] ACCOMPANI$ Y\ 9TO Y\R WORLD2 IT WAS Y\ :O 9TRUD$ 9TO HIS4 ,UNLIKE ,RON1 ,I DID 5T] 9TO Y\R WORLD3 ,LUISA 9TRODUC$ ME 9TO IT4 ,TODAY ,I VIEW ?AT EXP]I5CE AS ALI5 TO ME2 MY LIFE HAD VE]$ (F ITS C\RSE4 ,?ANKS TO MY 5C\NT]S DUR+ MY FIR/ PRISON T]M ) 9DIVIDUALS LIKE ,MANUEL & ,ZD5EK ,I EV5TUALLY WOKE UP & REALIZ$ ,I WAS HEAD+ T[>D MY DE/RUCTION AS A HUMAN BE+4 ,TODAY ,I'M A%AM$ ( ! FACT ?AT ,I ONCE TOOK P>T 9 ?AT TYPE ( ACTIVITY4 ,MY CORRESPOND5CE ) Y\ IS =C+ ME TO DEAL ) ?AT MOM5T ( MY LIFE4 

,A FEW DAYS AFT] ,I S5T Y\ MY PREVI\S LETT] ,I ACCEPT$ ! 09VITATION0 ( ! WORK]S AT ! C>TON PLANT4 ,I GOT MY OLD JOB BACK4 ,?IS 09VITATION0 IS A DIRECT RESULT ( ! F]M5T ?AT'S TAK+ PLACE H]E4 ,BE=E ! POLITICAL POLICE WAS SUSP5D$ TWO MON?S AGO ,I WAS UNEMPLOYABLE & AS A RESULT :5 ,I WAS RELEAS$ FROM PRISON ,MIRNA M]ELY ACQUIR$ ANO!R BURD5 TO SUPPORT ) H] JOB AT ! CLO?+ FACTORY4 ,( C\RSE ,I HELP$ PREP>E MEALS1 CLEAN ! H\SE & FET* ! GROC]IES :ILE ,MIRNA WAS AT WORK & ,Y>A 9 S*OOL1 BUT ?IS DIDN'T EASE ,MIRNA'S BURD5 SIGNIFICANTLY4 ,MY UNEMPLOYM5T P5SION DIDN'T PAY = EV5 A QU>T] ( ! FOOD ,I MYSELF CONSUM$4 ,! 9VITATION EXT5D$ TO ME BY ! WORK]S 9 ! C>TON PLANT ISN'T ONLY FLATT]+ BUT IS ALSO A SOLUTION TO A PRESS+ NE$4 

,A FEW DAYS AGO ,I BR\<T HOME MY FIR/ WEEKLY WAGE1 :I* WAS TWICE AS L>GE AS ,MIRNA'S DESPITE ! FACT ?AT %E'S BE5 WORK+ AT ! CLO?+ FACTORY = ?IRTE5 YE>S4 ,WE IMM$IATELY HAD A DISCUSSION ALMO/ ID5TICAL TO ONE WE'D HAD SEV]AL YE>S AGO4 ,I SUGGE/$ %E C\LD F9ALLY QUIT H] JOB4 ,MIRNA EMPHATICALLY SAID %E W\LDN'T DREAM ( QUITT+4 0,IT'S ONLY ?ANKS TO MY JOB ?AT ,Y>A & ,I SURVIV$ DUR+ ALL ?OSE YE>S Y\ W]E 9 PRISON & ,I DON'T 9T5D TO ?R[ ?AT 9COME AWAY JU/ BECAUSE \R SITUATION DUR+ ONE WEEK HAS BE5 DIFF]5T4 ,! LA/ TIME Y\ MADE ?AT SUGGE/ION Y\ W]E JAIL$ A FEW DAYS LAT]40 ,TO ,MIRNA \R PRES5T SITUATION IS AN ABNORMAL /ATE ( AFFAIRS & %E'S CONV9C$ IT WILL ONLY BE TEMPOR>Y2 PRISON & POV]TY IS \R NORMAL /ATE ( AFFAIRS4 

,MY TASK AT ! C>TON PLANT IS ! SAME AS IT WAS TW5TY YE>S AGO :5 ,I WORK$ ) ,LUISA & MET Y\4 ,I OP]ATE A NEW] MODEL ( ! PRESS ?AT PR9TS LABELS ON C>TONS2 ! OLD PRESS MU/ AT LA/ HAVE GIV5 \T4 ,!RE W]E OP5+S = SEV]AL O!R TASKS4 ,ALL ! OP5+S HAVE BE5 CREAT$ BY ! DEP>TURE ( POLICE AG5TS1 OR RA!R ( WORK]S :O W]E PAID BY ! POLICE TO SPY ON O!R WORK]S4 ,I C\LD HAVE *OS5 ANO!R TASK4 ,BUT !RE WAS NO REAL REASON TO *OOSE BETWE5 ! TASKS S9CE !Y ALL REQUIRE ONE & ! SAME ACT3 ! EX*ANGE ( MY LIV+ TIME = A WAGE4 ,S9CE ALL ! TASKS 9 QUE/ION REQUIR$ ! SAME H\RS & PAID ! SAME WAGES1 MY *OICE BETWE5 !M C\LD ONLY BE :IMSICAL4 ,IT WAS ON ! BASIS ( :IMS ?AT ,I *OSE4 ,ONE ( MY :IMS WAS TO FAMILI>IZE MYSELF ) A TASK ,I HAD NEV] P]=M$ BE=E4 

,ANO!R :IM WAS TO RETURN TO ! MA*9E ,I HAD OP]AT$ AT ! TIME ( Y\R LIFE'S KEY EXP]I5CE4 ,I *OSE 9 FAVOR ( ! SECOND :IM1 ?9K+ ?AT ! FAMILI>ITY ( MY MOTIONS & MY SURR\ND+S W\LD REM9D ME ( ! EXP]I5CES & ! PEOPLE Y\'VE C>RI$ 9 Y\R HEAD = ! PA/ TW5TY YE>S4 

,! /RIKE ,I DESCRIB$ 9 MY LA/ LETT] 5D$ SOON AFT] ,I WROTE Y\4 ,IT 5D$ ) A COMPROMISE4 ,! PLANT'S MANAG] AGRE$ TO ACCEPT A UNION REPRES5TATIVE ELECT$ BY ! WORK]S1 :O 9 TURN DROPP$ !IR DEM& TO ELECT A DIFF]5T UNION REPRES5TATIVE EA* MON? AS WELL AS !IR ORIG9AL DEM& TO ROTATE ! PO/ AMONG ALL ! WORK]S 9 ALPHABETICAL ORD]4 ,I WAS DISAPPO9T$ BY !IR COMPROMISE ) ! MANAG]4 ,I >GU$ ?AT SU* A P>TIAL VICTORY WAS ACTUALLY A DEFEAT BECAUSE COMPROMIS+ ) ! MANAG] MEANT RECOGNIZ+ ! LEGITIMACY & AU?ORITY ( ! MANAGEM5T4 ,SEV]AL WORK]S SAID !Y AGRE$ BUT >GU$ ?AT 9 CONDITIONS ( ! PRES5T F]M5T1 :5 MU* MORE W\LD BECOME POSSIBLE1 IT WAS NECESS>Y TO PROCE$ ) CAUTION S9CE O!RWISE WE MI<T CAUSE ! FIELD ( POSSIBILITIES TO CLOSE PREMATURELY4 ,I >GU$ ?AT CAUTION WAS ! FIR/ /EP T[>D DEFEAT & EXPRESS$ ! VIEW ?AT ! MANAG] %\LD HAVE BE5 \/$ ALONG ) ! UNION REPRES5TATIVE1 ?AT BO? PO/S %\LD BE ROTAT$ ALPHABETICALLY OR ELIM9AT$ ALTOGE!R1 & ?AT WE %\LD EXAM9E \R FIELD ( POSSIBILITIES ONLY AFT] ?IS MU* HAD BE5 ACCOMPLI%$4 ,I WAS TOLD ?AT A POSITION LIKE M9E HAD BE5 DEF5D$ & ?AT ! OV]:ELM+ MAJORITY HAD BE5 OPPOS$ TO IT4 ,SEV]AL WORK]S TOLD ME ! VIEW ( ! MAJORITY3 0,IT IS ESS5TIAL TO SEE :AT O!R WORK]S DO 9 O!R FACTORIES1 TO WAIT & SEE IF !Y SUCCE$1 & !N TO PROCE$ ALONG SIMIL> L9ES2 IF WE RUN AHEAD ( ALL ! RE/ WE'LL SOON BE ALL ALONE1 & BY \RSELVES WE WON'T GET MU* FUR!R40 ,I DISAGREE ) ?IS ATTITUDE BUT DUR+ !SE DAYS SU* WAIT+ ISN'T AN ALTOGE!R PASSIVE ACTIVITY4 ,EV] S9CE ,I'VE RETURN$ TO WORK ,I'VE BECOME 9T5SELY AW>E ( *ANGES TAK+ PLACE ALL >\ND ME1 NOT ONLY AT ! FACTORY BUT ALSO AT HOME1 9 O!R PLANTS1 9 ! /REETS ( ! CITY4 ,I HAVE TO ADMIT ?AT ,I'VE COME TO FEEL ! SAME MIXTURE ( D>+ & CAUTION EXPRESS$ BY ! WORK]S AT ! C>TON PLANT4 0,D>+0 & 0CAUTION0 >E SU* MIS]ABLE WORDS4 ,MY S5SITIVITY TO WORDS COMES MA9LY FROM ,ZD5EK ,TOB>K94 ,ALREADY :5 ,I KNEW HIM 9 PRISON HE UND]/OOD ! WAYS 9 :I* LANGUAGE WAS US$ TO DE=M REALITY4 ,HE HAS HELP$ ME UND]/& ?AT WORDS CAN'T COMMUNICATE REALITIES LIKE ! ONES WE'RE CURR5TLY EXP]I5C+ H]E4 ,WORDS CAN ONLY REF] TO ?+S OR CONDITIONS :I* HAVE A C]TA9 DEGREE ( P]MAN5CE OR :I* AT LEA/ RECUR P]IODICALLY4 ,!RE CAN BE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE A CONDITION :I* NEV] EXI/$ BE=E1 :I* *ANGES FROM ONE MOM5T TO ! NEXT & :I* HAS NO KN[N /AGES OR \TCOME4 ,EV5 ! WORD 0REVOLUTION0 IS MIS]ABLE BECAUSE IT CONVEYS NO?+ MORE ?AN A SUMM>Y ( PA/ EV5TS KN[N AS REVOLUTIONS1 EV5TS :I* HAVE NO?+ 9 COMMON ) ! PRES5T4 

,:AT ,I'M EXP]I5C+ CAN'T BE EXPRESS$ BY WORDS LIKE 0D>+ & CAUTION40 ,! CONDITION ,I'M DESCRIB+ ISN'T 9EXPRESSIBLE2 IT ISN'T A MY/ICAL EXP]I5CE4 ,IT'S AN EXP]I5CE %>$ BY ?\S&S ( PEOPLE :O >E 9 FACT EXPRESS+ !MSELVES1 MANY = ! FIR/ TIME 9 !IR LIVES4 ,BUT ! COMMUNICATION HAS NOT BE5 TAK+ PLACE ONLY ?R\< WORDS4 ,! WORDS ACQUIRE !IR MEAN+S FROM MOTIONS1 ACTS & /EPS4 ,! WORDS BY !MSELVES ONLY REF] TO O!R CONDITIONS1 E>LI] P]IODS1 & EV5 :5 !Y'RE US$ 9 ! CONTEXT ( ! PRES5T F]M5T !Y SUGGE/ FAULTY ANALOGIES TO E>LI] CONDITIONS4 ,:AT ,I MEAN BY 0D>+0 IS A READ9ESS TO WALK 9TO T]RA9 :I* NONE ( US EXPLOR$ BE=E4 ,:AT ,I MEAN BY 0CAUTION0 IS ! P]CEPTION ?AT \R ABILITY TO APPROA* ?IS T]RA9 GR[S ONLY TO ! EXT5T ?AT ALL ?OSE LIKE US APPROA* IT ) EQUAL D>+4 ,WE'RE REA*+ = A FIELD ( POSSIBILITIES ?AT CAN BE REA*$ ONLY IF WE MOVE TOGE!R AS WE'VE NEV] MOV$ BE=E2 WE PROCE$ ) CAUTION BECAUSE ?OSE :O MOVE TOO F> AHEAD WILL BE CAU<T )\T A LIFEL9E TO ! RE/4 ,:AT ,I ?9K IS TAK+ PLACE >\ND ME IS AN ADVANCE CONSI/+ ( SMALL /EPS TAK5 BY ALL SIMULTANE\SLY4 ,EA* SMALL /EP CREATES ! CONDITIONS = TAK+ ! NEXT4 ,ANY MOVE ?AT PREV5TS ! CONT9U$ ADVANCE ( ALL CUTS (F ! POSSIBILITY ( FUR!R ADVANCE BY ANY4 ,ALL >\ND ME HUMAN BE+S >E ATTEMPT+ TO COME TO LIFE AS HUMAN BE+S1 AS UNIV]SAL 9DIVIDUALS1 AS SPECIES BE+S1 EA* ADVANC+ ) ALL & ALL ) EA*4 

,ONE DAY TW5TY YE>S AGO1 :ILE ,I WAS RUNN+ ! SAME MA*9E AT ! SAME PLANT1 ,I ?\<T ! EPO* ( WAGE LABOR HAD SUDD5LY COME TO AN 5D4 ,I RESPOND$ BY =MULAT+ SLOGANS1 PR9T+ !M ON SIGNS1 & DISPLAY+ ! SIGNS4 ,DUR+ ! PA/ WEEK ,I'VE EXP]I5C$ A F> GREAT] TUMULT BUT ,I'VE FELT NO IMPULSE TO PR9T OR C>RY SIGNS ) SLOGANS4 ,I'M NOT ! SAME P]SON ,I WAS TW5TY YE>S AGO1 ! P]SON Y\ KNEW4 ,MY COMMITM5T TO SLOGANS1 WORDS1 PROGRAMS1 AB/RACTIONS ON SIGNS1 WAS A COMMITM5T TO DEA?4 ,TW5TY YE>S AGO ,I WAS ! VICTIM ( A MY/IFICATION4 ,I BEGAN ) VAGUE YE>N+S = FREE ACTIVITY2 ,I BEGAN ) A LONG+ = FREELY *OS5 PROJECTS C>RI$ \T )9 A COMMUNITY ?AT MADE ! PROJECTS POSSIBLE & APPRECIAT$ !M4 ,BUT 9/EAD ( TAK+ /EPS ) ?OSE >\ND ME TO REALIZE MY DESIRES1 ,I TRANS=M$ MY DESIRES 9TO :AT SEEM$ TO BE ! FIR/ /EP T[>D !IR REALIZATION1 NAMELY 9TO A PROGRAM ( ACTION4 ,BUT BY ?IS TRANS=MATION ,I NEGAT$ MY REAL DESIRES2 ,I REPLAC$ !M ) IDEAS1 ) WORDS1 ) NOTIONS 9 MY BRA94 ,9/EAD ( A LIFE ,I HAD A CR$O4 ,9/EAD ( TAK+ /EPS ) O!R PEOPLE T[>D REAL PROJECTS C>RI$ \T DUR+ \R LIV+ MOM5TS ( TIME1 ,I TOOK /EPS TO CONV]T O!R PEOPLE TO MY CR$O1 MY RELIGION1 MY WORDS4 ,I REPLAC$ ! CONCRETE PRACTICAL ACTIVITY ( ! :OLE HUMAN BE+ ) M]ELY M5TAL ACTIVITY1 ) ACTIVITY ?AT TOOK PLACE 9SIDE MY M9D1 ) COMB9ATIONS ( WRITT5 LETT]S OR SPOK5 S\NDS1 NAMELY ) NON-ACTIVITY4 ,I 9V]T$ MY URGE TO LIVE & TURN$ IT 9TO ITS OPPOSITE4 ,MY DESIRE = LIB]AT$ ACTIVITY BECAME A BELIEF 9 LIB]AT$ ACTIVITY4 ,MY LONG+ = A HUMAN COMMUNITY WAS REPLAC$ BY A LONG+ = A COMMUNITY ( BELIEV]S1 A RELIGI\S COMMUNITY1 A COMMUNITY ( CONV]TS TO MY CR$O4 ,& 9/EAD ( F9D+ MYSELF AMONG LIV+1 9DEP5D5T & CREATIVE 9DIVIDUALS1 ,I F\ND MYSELF 9 ! FROCK ( A PRIE/ 9 ! MID/ ( A FLOCK4 ,IT HAS TAK5 ME TW5TY YE>S TO REALIZE ?AT ,I HAD BE5 A PRIE/ -- EV5 IF A H]ETICAL ONE -- ( :AT MU/ SURELY BE HUMANITY'S LA/ RELIGION1 ?AT RELIGION ( LIB]ATION FROM ! ILLUSIONS ( RELIGION1 ?AT RELIGION :I* WAS US$ BY A GR\P ( P$AGOGUES TO E/ABLI% UNPREC$5T$ P[] OV] POPULATIONS :O HAD DESIR$1 NOT ! WORDS ( ! CR$O1 BUT ! WORLD ?OSE WORDS SEEM$ TO SUGGE/4 

,TODAY LIKE TW5TY YE>S AGO WE'RE DAILY BOMB>D$ ) SLOGANS & PROGRAMS1 ) PLAT=MS & RE=MS1 ) REVOLUTIONS EV] SO C>EFULLY WORK$ \T ON PAP] BY ?OSE :O LIVE 9 PAP] WORLDS4 ,BUT TODAY ,I'M NOT AMONG ?OSE PR9T+ OR C>RY+ PO/]S ) SLOGANS NOR AMONG ?OSE >GU+ 9 DEF5SE ( ONE OR ANO!R PLAT=M4 ,9 ! FRAMEWORK ( Y\R WORLD ,I'VE JO9$ ! RANKS ( ! 9>TICULATE4 ,I CAN'T =MULATE EI!R MY GOALS OR MY MEANS4 ,I CAN TELL Y\ NEI!R :]E ,I'M GO+ NOR H[ ,I'LL GET !RE4 ,YET ,I FEEL MORE VIBRANT1 MORE ALIVE1 ?AN ,I FELT :5 ,I ?\<T ,I KNEW MY DIRECTION & MY DE/9ATION BECAUSE ,I HAD WORDS = !M4 ,I FEEL ALIVE PRECISELY BECAUSE ,I DON'T KN[ :AT ! NEXT MOM5T WILL BR+4 ,TIME HAS ONCE AGA9 BECOME A DIM5SION ?AT REVEALS POSSIBILITIES & HAS CEAS$ TO BE A DRE>Y S*$ULE ( EXPECT$ EV5TS4 ,I CAME TO LIFE :5 ! EV5TS ,I HAD LE>N$ TO EXPECT SUDD5LY /OPP$ RECURR+4 ,ONLY A FEW MON?S AGO ,Y>A TOOK P>T 9 A COMPLETELY UNEXPECT$ DEMON/RATION4 ,A FEW WEEKS AGO WORK]S 9VIT$ ME TO JO9 !M4 ,A WEEK AGO ?OSE WORK]S \/$ !IR UNION REPRES5TATIVE4 ,?IS WEEK WE ELECT$ ONE FROM AMONG \RSELVES TO REPLACE ! \/$ (FICIAL4 ,NEXT WEEK WE MAY LE>N ?AT ! WORK]S ( A NEI<BOR+ FACTORY HAVE />T$ TE>+ D[N ! FACTORY WALLS4 ,& A MON? FROM N[ WE MI<T 9VITE \R NEI<BORS1 ESPECIALLY ! *ILDR51 TO \R FACTORY TO BEG9 DISMANTL+ ! MA*9]Y 9TO AS MANY PIECES AS ,SAB9A'S FRI5D ! C> ?IEF DISMANTL$ A C>4 ,AT ?AT PO9T WE MI<T BEG9 AN ALTOGE!R DIFF]5T LIFE ON A T]RA9 FROM :I* EV]Y TRACE ( \R =M] ACTIVITY HAS BE5 REMOV$4 ,A HUMAN LIFE MI<T BEG91 9HIBIT$ BY NO B>RI] EXT]NAL TO ! DEVELOP+ 9DIVIDUAL4 ,! REALIZATION ( ONE'S POT5TIALITIES W\LD !N BE ACCOMPANI$ BY ! 5JOYM5T ( ! 9F9ITE POT5TIALITIES REALIZ$ BY ALL ?OSE >\ND ONE4 ,SU* A PROSPECT CANNOT BE ! PROGRAM ( AN 9DIVIDUAL OR A GR\P1 & IT CANNOT BE >TICULAT$4 ,IT IS NOT A RELIGION TO :I* PEOPLE >E TO BE CONV]T$4 ,IT IS A PRACTICE :I* ,I & ?OSE >\ND ME >E TRY+ TO 9V5T4 

,AL?\< ,I S5SE ?AT WE'RE MOV+1 ,I /ILL P]=M ! FAMILI> MOTIONS AT MY PRESS1 ,I GO HOME AFT] WORK & ,I RETURN TO WORK ! FOLL[+ MORN+4 ,! CONTRADICTION MAKES ME T5SE4 ,IT'S A T5SION ,I %>E ) ALL ?OSE >\ND ME4 ,AT ANY MOM5T ! REGUL>ITY MI<T 5D & WE'LL PLUNGE =W>D & CROSS A FRONTI] WE CAN'T SEE TODAY4 ,\R WILL+NESS TO CROSS ?AT FRONTI] IS :AT ,I CALL$ 0D>+40 ,BUT !RE'S ALSO 0CAUTION40 ,!RE'S APPREH5SION4 ,MY HE>T BEATS FA/] & ,I FEEL DIZZY & NAUSEAT$2 ! ANTICIPATION IS ACCOMPANI$ BY A C]TA9 FE>4 ,I KN[ & ?OSE >\ND ME KN[ ?AT ! CONDITIONS :I* OP5 UP A POSSIBILITY = A NEW LIFE ALSO GIVE RISE TO =CES :I* NEGATE LIFE4 ,HUMAN LIFE ITSELF HAS ?IS D\BLE *>ACT]4 ,GR[? TAKES PLACE ?R\< CELL DIVISION1 ?R\< ! REALIZATION ( ! POT5TIALITIES C>RI$ )9 EA* CELL4 ,YET ! UGLIE/ =M ( DEA? ALSO TAKES PLACE ?R\< CELL DIVISION4 ,SU* DEA? IS ALSO A GR[?1 ONE ?AT ANNIHILATES POT5TIALITY & REPLACES LIV+ CELLS ) MON/ROSITIES4 ,ALL >\ND ME PEOPLE >E TRY+ TO MOVE TO A GR\ND ON :I* ! SPECIFIC POT5TIALITIES ( EA* 9DIVIDUAL CAN DEVELOP1 LIKE PLANTS SEEK+ SUNLI<T & MOI/URE4 ,& LIFE-NEGAT+ =CES >E ACCOMPANY+ EV]Y MOVE WE MAKE4 ,JU/ AS ! P[] ( ONE CELL TO SPLIT 9TO TWO IS ! P[] ?AT TURNS AGA9/ ! FUR!R DIVISION ( LIV+ CELLS1 SO ! P[] ?AT 5ABLES US TO MOVE TOGE!R \T ( SLAV]Y TO A T]RA9 :]E ! FREE DEVELOPM5T ( EA* 9DIVIDUAL BECOMES POSSIBLE IS ! P[] ?AT TURNS AGA9/ \R ABILITY TO MOVE AT ALL4 ,! P[] TO CONCEPTUALIZE & COMMUNICATE1 ! P[] ?AT 5ABLES US TO MOVE TOGE!R AS A COMMUNITY1 IS ! V]Y P[] ?AT TURNS AGA9/ US & DEPRIVES US ( COMMUNITY4 ,! REALITY WE /RIVE TO REA* COMES BACK TO US SEV]AL TIMES A DAY 9 ! =M ( A CONCEPT1 A SUB/ANCELESS UNREAL ?+1 A M]E COMB9ATION ( WORDS4 ,I ?9K ?AT UP TO N[ WE'VE /E]$ CLE> ( !SE TRAPS2 ,I ?9K WE'RE /ILL ALIVE4 ,BUT ! TRAPS >E HEAVILY COM\FLAG$ & WE /ILL >5'T V]Y PRACTIC$ 9 RECOGNIZ+ !M4 ,AT ANY MOM5T1 9/EAD ( TAK+ ANO!R /EP =W>D1 WE MI<T AGA9 BL9DLY CONFUSE ! CONCEPT ) ! REALITY & AGA9 WA/E \RSELVES REA*+ \T = NO?+4 ,IF ?AT %\LD HAPP5 ONCE AGA9 !N \R PRES5T F]M5T WILL AGA9 GIVE RISE TO ?AT NEGATIVE CELL DIVISION1 ?AT DE=M$ DEVELOPM5T ( MON/ROSITIES :I* EXT]M9ATE \R REAL DESIRES4 ,IF WE RECOIL FROM LEAP+ 9TO ! UNKN[N & AGA9 TAKE REFUGE 9 ! CONCEPT1 WE'LL PLUNGE RI<T BACK TO \R />T+ PO9T4 ,! DEADLIE/ ( ! TRAPS IS BE+ SET BY ?OSE :O >E TRANS=M+ ! LEAP 9TO A PHRASE1 BY ?OSE :O >E NAM+ \R DE/9ATION & TRANS=M+ \R REAL DESIRES 9TO !IR POLITICAL PROGRAM4 ,IF WE AGA9 RECOIL FROM REAL MOTION & DEVELOPM5T & REPLACE IT ) ! MOTION & DEVELOPM5T ( CONCEPTS 9 ! HEADS ( PRIE/S1 WE'LL ONLY PRODUCE ANO!R RELIGION ) ITS *UR* & ITS PRIE/S4 ,WE W\LD AGA9 CEASE TO BE ! AG5TS ( \R [N /RUGGLE2 \R DESIRES W\LD AGA9 BECOME DISEMBODI$ CONCEPTS C>RI$ 9 ! HEADS ( 9TELLECTUALS4 

,POLITICS3 ?AT'S ! RELIGION ( TODAY1 ?AT'S ! CANC] ?AT ANNIHILATES EV]Y POSSIBILITY ( COMMUNITY & PUTS AN 5D TO EV]Y P]IOD ( F]M5T4 ,?IS DE=MITY DIVIDES & MULTIPLIES PRECISELY DUR+ P]IODS ( F]M5T4 ,BECAUSE IT'S UNNATURAL IT \TRUNS \R NATURAL DEVELOPM5T ( CAPACITIES4 ,IT PLANTS ITSELF AT ALL 9T]SECTIONS LONG BE=E WE REA* !M4 ,POLITICAL MILITANTS >E ITS MISSION>IES4 ,COMMITT$ 9TELLECTUALS >E ITS PRIE/S4 ,! /ATE IS ITS *UR*4 ,LIKE ALL RELIGIONS IT TRANS=MS ! HUMAN COMMUNITY 9TO A H]D4 ,ITS AG5TS1 ! ORGANIZ]S & P$AGOGUES1 >E ! SPIRITUAL LEAD]S ( FLOCKS ( ANIMALS4 ,IT GR[S1 LIKE ITS BIOLOGICAL ANALOG1 9SIDE ! V]Y BODY IT ATTACKS4 ,IT REPRODUCES ITSELF )9 ! LIV+ MEMB]S ( ! HUMAN COMMUNITY1 EXT+UI%+ !M AS LIV+ BE+S1 ANNIHILAT+ ! V]Y POSSIBILITY ( COMMUNITY4 ,ITS 9/RUM5TS >E ! 5TIRE >MORY ( LIFE-DE/ROY+ GADGETS DEVIS$ BY TE*NOLOGY1 EV]Y?+ ?AT CAN S]VE TO POLICE A H]D1 FROM BOMBS TO WALKIE-TALKIES1 9CLUD+ ! NEWSPAP]S ?AT PROLIF]ATE ! WORDS & ! L\DSPEAK]S ?AT MAGNIFY ! VOICES ( ! HI< PRIE/S4 ,CONTR>Y TO :AT Y\ ?9K1 ,I DON'T SEE Y\R NEWSPAP] ACTIVITY AS SIMIL> TO ! F]M5T SURR\ND+ ME BUT AS ACTIVITY :I* CAN ONLY ANNIHILATE ! F]M5T4 

,WE ALL C>RY ! POSSIBILITY AS WELL AS ! NEGATION )9 \RSELVES4 ,AT WORK WE LI/5 TO ! RADIO ALL DAY4 ,EV5 ?\< EA* ( US IS N]V\SLY ANTICIPAT+ \R NEXT CONCRETE /EP1 WE NEV]!LESS FEEL EXHIL>AT$ :5 ! WORDS ( A POLITICIAN SEEM TO EXPRESS ! EXACT NATURE ( ! /EP WE LONG TO TAKE4 ,WE APPLAUD PHRASES LIKE 0NEW DEMOCRACY0 OR 0NEW SOCIALISM0 OR 0G5U9E WORK]S C\NCILS40 ,WE WALK 9TO ! POLITICIANS' TRAPS LIKE NEWBORN *ILDR5 :O HAVE LE>N$ NO?+ FROM C\NTLESS PREVI\S G5]ATIONS4 ,:ILE APPLAUD+ ! SPEAK] OR PRAIS+ ! WRIT] WE MOM5T>ILY =GET ?AT WE HAV5'T BE5 LONG+ = A NEW PHRASE BUT = A NEW LIFE2 WE =GET ?AT WE'VE ONLY JU/ BEGUN TO EXPLORE A NEW POSSIBILITY1 ! POSSIBILITY ( CREAT+ ! WORLD \RSELVES4 ,:5 WE APPLAUD WE AGA9 BECOME ! LIFELESS GLOBS ( ORGANIC MATT] WE'VE BE5 NE>LY EV]Y MOM5T ( \R NORMAL LIVES4 ,WE *E] ! P$ANTS & WE'RE AGA9 HELPLESS1 LIKE ! SPECTATORS ( A SPORT+ MAT* ROOT+ = A TEAM4 ,WE'RE HYPNOTIZ$ BY ! B\TS & /RUGGLES AMONG ! CONCEPTS2 WE PASSIVELY ADMIRE REFLECTIONS ( \R [N REAL LONG+S & WE PASSIVELY ADMIRE ! POLITICIANS :O RETURN \R LONG+S TO US 9 ! =M ( IMAGES4 

,?AT'S :Y WE FEEL T5SE4 ,I'M CONV9C$ ?AT ! PRES5T F]M5T C>RIES REAL POSSIBILITIES = LIFE4 ,BUT ,I'M ALSO AW>E ?AT EV]Y TIME WE TAKE A /EP WE'RE SURR\ND$ BY ! IDEOLOGICAL BIRDS ( PREY :O FE$ ON \R POSSIBILITIES1 FILL !MSELVES ) CONCEPTS ( \R DESIRES & RE5SLAVE US ) BEAUTIFUL COMB9ATIONS ( WORDS :I* SEEM TO DEPICT ! WORLD WE FAIL$ TO REALIZE4 

,A FEW DAYS BE=E ,JASNA'S VISIT ,I HAD A V]Y /IMULAT+ DISCUSSION ) ,ZD5EK ,TOB>K94 ,:5 ,I FIR/ MET ,ZD5EK1 DUR+ MY FIR/ PRISON T]M1 HE WAS 9T5SELY 9T]E/$ 9 EV]Y?+ ,I TOLD HIM AB\T ! WORK]S' /RUGGLE ) :I* ,LUISA HAD FAMILI>IZ$ ME1 ! /RUGGLE 9 :I* %E1 ,MANUEL1 ,TITUS ,ZABRAN & ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS TOOK P>T :5 Y\ W]E TWO YE>S OLD4 ,:5 ,ZD5EK VISIT$ US A FEW DAYS AGO HE MADE SEV]AL COMP>ISONS TO ! E>LI] /RUGGLE :I* HAVE HELP$ ME UND]/& SOME *>ACT]I/ICS ( ! PRES5T SITUATION4 ,I TOLD ,ZD5EK ?AT 9 REC5T YE>S ,I HAD COMPLETELY DISC>D$ ,LUISA'S VIEW ( ?AT /RUGGLE1 ! VIEW ,I HAD EXPRESS$ :5 ,ZD5EK & ,I W]E 9 PRISON TOGE!R4 ,I SUMM>IZ$ ,MANUEL'S ANALYSIS ( ?OSE EV5TS4 

,ZD5EK SAID HE HAD LONG SUSPECT$ ?AT SOME?+ LIKE ,MANUEL'S ANALYSIS HAD BE5 MISS+ FROM MY E>LI] ACC\NTS4 0,I F\ND Y\R E>LI] /ONES EXCIT+ BECAUSE !Y JU/IFI$ MY ATTA*M5T TO ! UNION10 HE TOLD ME4 0,BUT :5 ,I BEGAN TO REEXAM9E MY COMMITM5T ,I ALSO BECAME SUSPICI\S ( Y\R ACC\NT4 ,! UNION Y\ DESCRIB$ SO 5?USIA/ICALLY WAS L$ BY POLITICIANS4 ,?OSE POLITICIANS PROBABLY EXPRESS$ ! URGES ( WORK]S MORE ACCURATELY ?AN ANY PREVI\S GR\P ( POLITICIANS1 IF WORDS CAN EV] EXPRESS REAL URGES ACCURATELY4 ,WORK]S ACCEPT$ ! POLITICIANS AS !IR SPOKESM54 ,?IS IS :Y ! WORK]S W]E DEFEAT$ ON ! DAY AFT] !IR VICTORY4 ,?IS IS :Y ! WORK+ POPULATION CAME TO LIFE ONLY = A DAY1 ! DAY ( ! RIS+ AGA9/ ! G5]ALS4 ,AT ! V]Y MOM5T ( VICTORY ! UNION CONSOLIDAT$ ! P[] IT HAD ALREADY E/ABLI%$ OV] ! WORK]S4 ,! WORK+ PEOPLE W]E RE5SLAV$ BE=E !Y HAD ! TIME TO REALIZE ?AT = TW5TY-F\R H\RS !Y HAD BEGUN TO LIVE )\T *A9S40 ,ZD5EK CONTRA/$ ?AT SITUATION ) ! F]M5T SURR\ND+ US H]E TODAY4 0,\R PRES5T SITUATION IS UNIQUE4 ,:5 ! F]M5T BEGAN1 ALL POLITICIANS1 ORGANIZ$ 9TELLECTUALS & BUREAUCRATS ( LIB]ATION W]E COMPLETELY DISCR$IT$40 ,HE ALSO CONTRA/$ ! ORIG9S ( ! PRES5T F]M5T TO ! ORIG9S ( ! E>LI] RIS+4 0,WE W]5'T SUDD5LY ATTACK$ BY ! MILIT>Y & CONSEQU5TLY WE DIDN'T HAVE TO CONC5TRATE ALL \R 5]GY ON A S+LE ACT ( SELF-DEF5SE4 ,WE'VE HAD TIME TO EXPLORE NEW GR\ND1 TO CONSID] ALT]NATIVES1 TO MOVE AHEAD SL[LY1 ABSORB+ ! SIGNIFICANCE ( EA* /EP4 ,WE W]5'T ATTACK$ DUR+ ONE DAY BUT OV] A P]IOD ( TW5TY YE>S4 ,?OSE :O ATTACK$ US W]5'T >MY G5]ALS BUT EV]Y SPECIES ( REPRES5TATIVE ( ! WORK+ CLASS1 ( REVOLUTION1 ( LIB]ATION1 ( SELF-DET]M9ATION ?AT HAS BE5 C\<$ UP BY HI/ORY4 ,CONSEQU5TLY1 AL?\< \R /EPS HAVE BE5 SMALL & UNDRAMATIC1 WE'VE MOV$ ON \R [N & NOT UND] ! HEGEMONY ( POLITICIANS4 ,9/EAD ( BE+ ATTACK$1 WE W]E SUDD5LY LET FREE2 ! REPRESSIVE P[] ( ALL REPRES5TATIVES WAS SUDD5LY SUSP5D$4 ,UNLIKE ! WORK]S :O W]E ATTACK$1 WE'VE HAD A *ANCE TO RISE & /RET*1 TO TE/ ! ABILITIES ( \R UNUS$ LIMBS & TO EXPLORE \R ABILITY TO ACT COMMUNALLY4 ,WE HAV5'T MOV$ F>1 BUT WE'VE MOV$ ON \R [N40 

,I EXPRESS$ MISGIV+S AB\T ! RATE AT :I* WE W]E MOV+ & AB\T ! FACT ?AT ! POLITICIANS W]E MOV+ MU* FA/] ?AN ! RE/ ( ! POPULATION4 ,ZD5EK BRU%$ MY >GUM5TS ASIDE4 0,Y\ DON'T SEEM TO REALIZE ?AT ?IS IS ONE ( ! FEW TIMES 9 ALL HI/ORY :5 A POPULATION HAS MOV$ )\T POLITICIANS4 ,I DON'T WANT TO SAY ! RECUP]ATORS >E ABS5T4 ,Y\'RE P]FECTLY RI<T4 ,!Y'RE ALL >\ND US4 ,EV]Y DAY A NEW GR\P ( ASPIR+ BUREAUCRATS PRES5TS A NEW PROGRAM 9 ! PRESS & ON ! RADIO4 ,EV]Y DAY A NEW SPEAK] T\RS ! FACTORIES1 S*OOLS & MEET+ H\SES4 ,YES1 !Y'RE OMNIPRES5T4 ,BUT !Y'RE NOT OMNIPOT5T4 ,?AT'S :Y !RE'S A NEW PROGRAM & A NEW SPEAK] EV]Y DAY4 ,NOT A S+LE GR\P AMONG !M HAS E/ABLI%$ ITS HEGEMONY OV] ! POPULATION4 ,PEOPLE HAV5'T BE5 9FECT$ BY A S+LE POLITICIAN'S CR$O4 ,! POLITICIANS >E MOV+ FA/1 BUT ! PEOPLE >E /AY+ CLE> ( !M4 ,! /EPS BE+ TAK5 MAY BE SMALL1 BUT !Y'RE REAL1 !Y'RE TAK+ PLACE 9 ?IS CONCRETE WORLD & NOT 9 AN ORGANIZATION'S PROGRAM4 ,! POLITICIANS >E ALL DISCR$IT$4 ,DUE TO ! IDEOLOGICAL *>ACT] ( ! REGIME WE'VE EXP]I5C$ = ! PA/ TW5TY YE>S1 IDEOLOGI/S & !ORI/S AS SU*1 POLITICS AS SU* HAVE BE5 DISCR$IT$4 ,DON'T EXAGG]ATE ! APPLAUSE SPEAK]S >E GETT+4 ,!RE'S NO?+ WRONG ) APPLAUD+ A GOOD SPEE*4 ,! APPLAUSE ONLY EXPRESSES APPRECIATION = ! SPEAK]'S TAL5T AS A SPEAK]4 ,! FACT ?AT PEOPLE APPLAUD DOESN'T MEAN !Y'RE BE+ HYPNOTIZ$40 

,I TOLD ,ZD5EK ?AT ONLY ! RECOGNIZABLE POLITICIANS ( ! OLD REGIME HAVE BE5 DISCR$IT$4 ,I SAID ?AT ALL TYPES ( POLITICIANS ) A 0NEW FACE0 HAVE BE5 TRANS=M+ ! PRES5T F]M5T 9TO !IR PR(ESSION & ?AT AT LEA/ ! WORK]S AT MY PLANT W]E NOT ALTOGE!R HO/ILE TO SU* 0NEW0 POLITICIANS4 ,I ADMITT$ ?AT AS YET !RE W]E NO L>GE NUMB]S ( PEOPLE REPEAT+ ! =MULAS ( ANY POLITICIAN BUT ,I SAID ,I DIDN'T EXCLUDE ! POSSIBILITY ?AT ONE ( ! 0NEW FACES0 W\LD 0REALIZE \R GOALS0 BY 9/ALL+ HIMSELF 9 ! /ATE APP>ATUS4 

,ZD5EK ?\<T ,I WAS UNJU/IFIABLY PESSIMI/IC4 0,Y\'RE TOO MU* ( A ,CASS&RA10 HE TOLD ME4 0,IT'S ( C\RSE TRUE ?AT ONLY ONE V>IANT ( ! !ORY ( ! PROLET>IAT REIGN$ SUPREME DUR+ ! PA/ TW5TY YE>S4 ,BUT ,I'M CONV9C$ ?AT ! RULE ( ?IS V>IANT DISCR$IT$ ALL ! V>IANTS ( ! !ORY ( ! PROLET>IAT1 FROM ! TYRANNICAL V>IANT TO ! SELF-DET]M9$ V>IANT4 ,TODAY EV]YONE SEES ?R\< ! ABSOLUTE1 OMNISCI5T & OMNIPOT5T EMBODIM5T ( ! PROLET>IAT4 ,MAYBE SOME PEOPLE >5'T AS OV]TLY HO/ILE TO ! O!R V]SIONS BECAUSE !Y HAV5'T HAD TO LIVE UND] !M1 BUT NO ONE CAN HELP RECOGNIZ+ !M AS V>IATIONS ON ! SAME !ME4 ,Y\R VIEW IS EXTREMELY PESSIMI/IC4 ,IF HUMANITY HAD TO EXP]I5CE EV]Y S+LE V>IANT ( REPRES5TATION BE=E IT REJECT$ ALL ( !M1 IT W\LD NEV] EM]GE FROM ITS MORASS4 ,I ?9K Y\'RE WRONG4 ,I ?9K ! EXP]I5CE ) ONE V>IANT HAS TAU<T US LESSONS AB\T ALL ( !M4 ,I ?9K HUMANITY IS F9ALLY REJECT+ :AT HAS ALWAYS BE5 AN IMPOSSIBLE PROJECT1 ! PROJECT ( REPRES5TATION4 ,! PRES5T PROLIF]ATION ( MAJOR & M9OR PH>AOHS >\ND ! WORLD IS ! F9AL & LUDICR\S /AGE ( ?AT IMPOSSIBLE PROJECT4 ,MY LIFE CAN'T BE LIV$ AS A REPRES5TATION2 MY REPRES5TATIVE CAN'T REALIZE MY ASPIRATIONS1 TAKE MY /EPS OR 5GAGE 9 MY ACTIONS4 ,! PH>AOHS >E ! F9AL & DEF9ITIVE PRO( ( ! IMPOSSIBILITY ( REPRES5TATION4 ,I ?9K WE'VE ALL F9ALLY LE>N$ :AT TOOK ME SO LONG TO LE>N1 NAMELY ?AT ,I'M ROBB$ ( MY 5JOYM5T IF MY REPRES5TATIVE 5JOYS HIMSELF = ME1 ?AT MY HUNG] REMA9S :5 HE EATS = ME1 ?AT ,I DON'T EXPRESS MYSELF :5 HE SPEAKS = ME1 ?AT MY M9D & MY IMAG9ATION /AGNATE :5 HE ?9KS = ME & DECIDES = ME1 ?AT ,I LOSE MY LIFE :5 HE LIVES = ME40 

,I AGRE$ ) ,ZD5EK BUT ,I /ILL HAD MISGIV+S4 ,I TOLD HIM ?AT HE HAD GOTT5 HIS 9SI<TS FROM V]Y SPECIFIC EXP]I5CES :I* HAD NOT BE5 %>$ BY MANY PEOPLE1 ?AT ! MY/IFICATIONS :I* HE HAD SE5 ?R\< W]E NOT NECESS>ILY AS TRANSP>5T TO EV]YONE ELSE4 

0,:AT >E Y\ SUGGE/+80 HE ASK$4 0,?AT ,I GO \T 9TO ! /REETS LIKE A PROPHET & COMMUNICATE MY 9SI<TS AB\T ! DANG] ( PROPHETS8 ,DO Y\ REMEMB] ! =M] POLITICIAN ) :OM ,I >GU$ AT ! PRISON]S' CLUB -- ! ONE :O EMPHASIZ$ ! NE$ = ORGANIZATIONAL RES\RCES & PUBLI%+ ACTIVITY8 ,WE W\LD ONCE AGA9 RECON/ITUTE A GR\P ) A !ORY & A PUBLICATION1 WE W\LD ONCE AGA9 REPLACE ! CONCRETE ACTIVITY ( ?\S&S ( PEOPLE ) ! IMAGE ( ?AT ACTIVITY COMMUNICAT$ 9 WORDS BY \R PUBLICATION & \R GR\P4 ,I'VE HAD SPECIFIC EXP]I5CES & SO HAVE Y\1 BUT !SE EXP]I5CES >E SPECIFIC TO \R :OLE HI/ORICAL P]IOD4 ,IF ,I'M ABLE TO DRAW CONCLUSIONS FROM !M SO CAN ALL MY CONTEMPOR>IES4 ,I CAN'T UND]/& MY EXP]I5CES ANY O!R WAY4 ,IF ,I'VE HAD EXP]I5CES NO ONE ELSE HAS HAD !N ,I CAN'T HOPE TO COMMUNICATE ) ANYONE4 ,ONE HUMAN BE+ CAN NO MORE DEMY/IFY ANO!R ?AN EAT = ANO!R4 ,BUT ,I HAV5'T HAD EXP]I5CES NO ONE ELSE HAD4 ,! CONCRETE ACTIVITIES ( ?OSE >\ND ME PROVE ?IS TO ME1 JU/ AS MY ACTIVITIES SURELY COMMUNICATE ! EXP]I5CES ,I'VE HAD4 ,ORGANIZATIONAL RES\RCES & PUBLICATIONS W\LD ONLY SEP>ATE ME FROM ?OSE ) :OM ,I WANT TO COMMUNICATE40 

,I FEEL ?AT ,ZD5EK IS RI<T4 ,! /RIKE ?AT REC5TLY TOOK PLACE AT ! C>TON PLANT %[$ ME ?AT ?OSE WORK]S MU/ HAVE HAD EXP]I5CES & DRAWN CONCLUSIONS SIMIL> TO M9E4 ,!IR CONCRETE ACT COMMUNICAT$ ?IS TO ME4 ,!Y DIDN'T C>RY SIGNS NOR PROCLAIM A PROGRAM NOR 5GAGE 9 ANY ( ! ACTIVITIES :I* SEEM SO DE> TO Y\4 ,!Y SIMPLY REMOV$ ! LOCAL REPRES5TATIVES ( ! REPRESSIVE APP>ATUS1 DIRECTLY1 )\T A PLAT=M1 )\T REPRES5TATIVES4 ,?AT DONE1 WE'RE READY TO TAKE \R NEXT CONCRETE /EP4 ,! POLITICIANS HAVE BE5 UNMASK$1 NOT ONLY = ,ZD5EK & ME1 BUT = ALL ( US4 ,AT ! PLANT WE LI/5 TO POLITICAL SPEE*ES BROADCA/ BY ! RADIO BUT WE DON'T ACT ON !M2 WE WAT* = ! NEXT /EP PEOPLE LIKE US WILL TAKE ELSE:]E4 

,I ?9K ,ZD5EK IS ALSO RI<T 9 CONSID]+ ! PRES5T F]M5T 9 MANY WAYS MORE PR(\ND ?AN ! UPRIS+ ,LUISA & ,MANUEL TAU<T ME AB\T4 ,9 ?AT E>LI] EV5T REPRESS$ & SELF-REPRESS$ HUMAN BE+S SUDD5LY CAME TO LIFE -- BUT = A P]IOD ?AT LA/$ LESS ?AN TW5TY-F\R H\RS4 ,H]E ! CONCRETE /EPS HAVE BE5 SMALL & UNDRAMATIC BUT ?OSE :O CAME TO LIFE >E /ILL LIV+4 ,CAN ?IS F]M5T CONT9UE TO SPREAD )\T BE+ CAU<T 9 ! WEBS ( ! POLITICIANS8 ,CAN WE GET PA/ ! SPOKESM51 COORD9ATORS & ORGANIZ]S :O EXT+UI%$ ! E>LI] /RUGGLE8 ,MY FIR/ IMPULSE IS TO D\BT IT4 ,SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE NEV] BE=E BECOME 9DEP5D5T )\T PROVOK+ ! CONC5TRAT$ RES5TM5T ( ?OSE :O WANT$ TO RULE OV] !M4 ,SU* 0DIRECTIONLESS0 & 0SPONTANE\S0 ACTIVITY HAS NEV] BE=E HELD ITS [N AGA9/ ! BL[S DEALT AGA9/ IT BY ORGANIZATIONAL MILITANTS & !IR 9FALLIBLE LEAD]S4 ,MANUEL & ,LUISA1 9 !IR DESCRIPTIONS ( ! EV5TS !Y BO? EXP]I5C$1 CONCUR ON ONE & ONLY ONE DETAIL3 ON ! DAY :5 ! G5]ALS ATTACK$1 ! PEOPLE RAN 9TO ! /REETS ON !IR [N2 ! 0LEAD]S0 RAN BEH9D & PLAC$ !MSELVES ON ! FRONT L9ES SO AS NOT TO 0LOSE0 !IR FOLL[]S4 ,= AN 9/ANT IT WAS ! 9FLU5TIAL MILITANTS :O W]E LO/ AMONG ! 9DEP5D5T 9DIVIDUALS :OM !Y LAT] CLAIM$ TO HAVE L$4 ,! FIR/ 9DIVIDUALS AT ! B>RICADES W]E NOT !RE UND] ORD]S BUT ON !IR [N4 ,EA* 9DIVIDUAL =MULAT$ HIS OR H] [N TASK1 & BY C>RY+ \T ?AT TASK1 EA* IMPLEM5T$ ! PROJECT ( ! GR\P1 :I* WAS 9SEP>ABLE FROM ! PROJECTS ( EA* 9DIVIDUAL4 ,EA* COORD9AT$ & ORGANIZ$1 NOT BECAUSE HE OR %E WAS ! (FICIAL COORD9ATOR OR ORGANIZ]1 BUT BECAUSE ONE & !N ANO!R WAS CLOSE/ TO ! PROBLEM ?AT NE$$ TO BE COORD9AT$ & ORGANIZ$4 ,9DIVIDUALS :O HAVE ?IS CAPACITY = SELF-DIRECT$ ACTIVITY DUR+ AN 9SURRECTION >E 9 ALL WAYS ID5TICAL TO ! 9DIVIDUALS ) :OM ,I WORK 9 ! PLANT1 ) :OM ,I %>E ?IS CITY1 ) :OM ,I 9HABIT ?IS GLOBE4 ,9DIVIDUALS :O HAVE SU* CAPACITIES DUR+ TW5TY-F\R H\RS HAVE ! CAPACITY TO APPROPRIATE HUMAN LIFE & MAKE IT A PROJECT ( ! LIV+4 

,I'VE TRI$ TO GIVE Y\ SOME IDEA ( ! F]M5T :I* SURR\NDS ME4 ,I'VE TRI$ TO DESCRIBE MY HOPES AS WELL AS MY APPREH5SIONS1 & ,I'VE SUMM>IZ$ ,ZD5EK'S VIEW ( ! PROSPECTS ( ?IS ACTIVITY4 ,IT'S P]FECTLY CLE> TO ME ?AT ?IS ACTIVITY HAS NO?+ 9 COMMON ) ! J\RNALI/IC ACTIVITY TO :I* Y\ COMP>$ IT4 ,! TYPE ( ACTIVITY :I* Y\ *OSE HAS MU* 9 COMMON ) ! ACTIVITY ( ! POLITICIANS :O LECTURE TO US ON ! RADIO & 9 ! NEWSPAP]S2 IT HAS NO?+ 9 COMMON ) ! ACTIONS & APPREH5SIONS ( ! PEOPLE ) :OM ,I WORK 9 ! C>TON PLANT4 ,I RES5T ! FACT ?AT Y\ COMP>E ! F]M5T >\ND ME ) Y\R ACADEMIC & J\RNALI/IC ACTIVITIES4 ,I ?9K ! TWO PROJECTS >E NOT ONLY DIFF]5T FROM EA* O!R BUT ALSO HO/ILE TO EA* O!R3 ! PROJECTS Y\'VE *OS5 CAN ONLY TAKE PLACE IF MY PRES5T PROJECT FAILS4 ,?AT'S :Y ,I CAN'T RECOGNIZE MYSELF 9 Y\R *OICES OR 9 Y\R 5?USIASMS4 ,I CAN UND]/& ! WORLD Y\ DESCRIBE1 ! WORLD 9 :I* Y\'VE SO C>EFULLY /E]$ T[>D Y\R *OS5 ALT]NATIVE1 ONLY BECAUSE ,I ONCE /EPP$ 9TO ?AT WORLD4 ,BUT ,I /EPP$ \T ( ?AT WORLD LONG AGO4 ,I ?9K Y\'RE RI<T :5 Y\ COMP>E Y\R *OS5 ACTIVITIES TO ?OSE ( ! PEOPLE WE KNEW TW5TY YE>S AGO4 ,JASNA DESCRIB$ ?OSE PEOPLE TO US ON ! V]Y DAY Y\R LETT] CAME4 ,DUR+ !SE PA/ TW5TY YE>S ,I'VE *ANG$ & Y\ HAV5'T4 ,Y\'VE RETA9$ ! COMMITM5TS WE %>$ TW5TY YE>S AGO4 ,JASNA'S ACC\NT ( ! 9DIVIDUALS Y\ REMEMB] SO FONDLY MAKES IT CLE> TO ME ?AT Y\R *OS5 ACTIVITIES HAVE A GREAT DEAL 9 COMMON ) !IRS1 NOT ) M9E4 ,AFT] ! LUXURI\S MEAL %E & ,Y>A HAD PREP>$ TO CELEBRATE ! 0VICTORY0 AT !IR S*OOL1 ,JASNA TOLD US EV]Y?+ %E KNEW AB\T ! PRES5T ACTIVITIES ( ?OSE 9DIVIDUALS4 

,JASNA & ,Y>A W]E WAIT+ = ME :5 ,I RETURN$ HOME FROM MY ?IRD DAY ( WORK4 ,JASNA WAS ANXI\S TO READ Y\R LETT]1 BUT ,Y>A C\LDN'T WAIT TO TELL ME AB\T ! DAY'S EV5TS4 ,IT'S AMAZ+ H[ QUICKLY ! F]M5T SPREADS ONCE A POPULATION REGA9S CREATIVE 9ITIATIVE4 ,SEV]AL /UD5TS1 AMONG !M ,Y>A1 BEGAN A CAMPAIGN TO \/ ! ASSI/ANT HEAD ( ! S*OOL1 ! P]SON RESPONSIBLE = MA9TA9+ DISCIPL9E AMONG /UD5TS AS WELL AS TEA*]S4 ,ALL ! /UD5TS /OOD QUIETLY 9 ! HALLS & LET ! HEAD ( ! S*OOL KN[ !Y W\LDN'T 5T] !IR CLASSROOMS UNTIL ! DISCIPL9>IAN RESIGN$4 ,!Y W]E JO9$ BY EV]Y S+LE TEA*]4 ,EV5 ! HEAD ( ! S*OOL GAVE A SPEE* PRAIS+ !IR DET]M9ATION4 ,JASNA SAID %E WAS PR(\NDLY MOV$ BY ?IS SPEE*4 ,! DISCIPL9>IAN RESIGN$ AFT] HAV+ OCCUPI$ H] PO/ = TW5TY YE>S4 ,%E WAS UND\BT$LY A POLICE AG5T1 AL?\< NEI!R ,Y>A NOR ,JASNA KNEW IF %E WAS ACTUALLY 9 ! PAY ( ! POLICE4 

,MIRNA CAME HOME SOON AFT] ,I DID & WE ALL READ Y\R LETT]4 ,AFT] SUPP] ,MIRNA ASK$ ,JASNA :5 %E HAD FIR/ MET ,JAN & H[ LONG %E HAD WORK$ ) HIM4 

0,HE WAS HIR$ RI<T AFT] ! RESI/ANCE10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,WE WORK$ TOGE!R = ?REE YE>S1 ?REE UN=GETTABLE1 WOND]FUL YE>S40 

,I BEGG$ ,JASNA TO />T H] /ORY E>LI]1 TO TELL US H[ & :5 %E HAD COME TO WORK AT ! C>TON PLANT4 

0,I />T$ WORK+ !RE BE=E ! W>10 %E TOLD US4 0,AMONG ! PEOPLE Y\ KNEW1 ,I WAS ! FIR/ ONE !RE4 ,I HAD JU/ F9I%$ HI< S*OOL & ,I'D ALWAYS KN[N ,I'D HAVE TO F9D A JOB ! DAY AFT] ,I F9I%$ S*OOL4 ,MY P>5TS BO? WORK$ 9 FACTORIES4 ,ALL ! MONEY !Y E>N$ W5T TO PAY = ! LITTLE H\SE !Y HAD B\<T4 ,I /ILL LIVE !RE4 ,MY FA!R WAS A HORRIBLY BOSSY MAN4 ,I WAS AFRAID ( HIM4 ,I WAS LIKE A S]VANT 9 ! H\SE4 ,AFT] ,I />T$ WORK+ ?AT *ANG$4 ,I W5T TO SEV]AL FACTORIES BUT NONE ( !M HAD OP5+S = SOMEONE )\T ANY EXP]I5CE4 ,:5 ,I W5T TO ,MR4 ,ZAGAD'S (FICE HE HIR$ ME EV5 ?\< ,I TOLD HIM ,I DIDN'T HAVE EXP]I5CE4 ,HE WAS REALLY SU* A DEC5T MAN4 ,I /ILL FEEL SORRY = HIM4 ,A FEW MON?S AFT] ,I />T$ WORK ! W> BROKE \T & ! CITY WAS OCCUPI$4 ,I W5T TO WORK EV]Y DAY & RETURN$ TO MY P>5TS' HOME EV]Y EV5+4 ,I WASN'T MU* BO!R$ BY ! W> OR ! OCCUPATION AT FIR/4 ,I KNEW SOME?+ HORRIBLE HAD HAPP5$ BUT ,I DIDN'T UND]/& :AT IT WAS4 ,!N ONE DAY1 DUR+ ! SECOND YE> ( ! W>1 MY FA!R BR\<T HOME A MAN HE WORK$ )4 ,HE EXPLA9$ ?AT ! MAN WAS HOMELESS & ?AT HE'D SP5D ! NI<T ) US4 ,LATE ?AT NI<T ! POLICE CAME TO \R H\SE1 BROKE \R FRONT DOOR & >RE/$ ! /RANG] AS WELL AS MY FA!R4 ,!Y 9SULT$ MY MO!R & ME = HID+ A ,JEW4 ,!N !Y TOOK BO? M5 AWAY 9 A POLICE C>4 ,I NEV] SAW MY FA!R AGA94 ,I NEV] LE>N$ IF HE WAS %OT OR S5T TO A CONC5TRATION CAMP4 ,A YE> LAT] A MAN FROM MY MO!R'S FACTORY CAME TO ! H\SE TO TELL ME ?AT MY MO!R HAD DI$ 9 AN ACCID5T4 ,I WAS SURE %E HAD COMMITT$ SUICIDE2 %E HAD TALK$ AB\T KILL+ H]SELF EV] S9CE MY FA!R WAS TAK5 AWAY4 ,! W> & ! OCCUPATION BECAME V]Y MEAN+FUL TO ME4 ,I HAT$ IT4 ,I HAT$ ! OCCUPI]S BECAUSE ( :AT !Y HAD DONE TO BO? MY P>5TS4 ,BUT :5 ,I SAW ! OCCUPI]S 9 ! /REETS ,I WAS DEA?LY AFRAID ( !M4 ,I WAS -- ,I /ILL AM -- AFRAID ( EV]Y P]SON ) AU?ORITY1 JU/ AS ,I HAD BE5 AFRAID ( MY FA!R4 ,BUT PEOPLE ) AU?ORITY >5'T ALL ! SAME4 ,I WAS NEV] AFRAID ( ,MR4 ,ZAGAD4 ,HE WAS DEC5T1 & ,I'VE ALWAYS BE5 GRATEFUL = ?AT4 ,HE HE>D AB\T MY MO!R'S ACCID5T & TOLD ME TO LEAVE WORK = TWO WEEKS ) PAY4 ,HE EV5 ATT5D$ MY MO!R'S FUN]AL4 

,I'VE NEV] UND]/OOD :Y IT WAS ,MR4 ,ZAGAD ?AT Y\ & ! O!RS TURN$ AGA9/4 ,MAYBE IT WAS WRONG = HIM TO HAVE SO MU* P[] OV] O!RS1 BUT ?AT CAN'T BE ! REASON HE WAS REMOV$ S9CE HIS SUCCESSOR HAD EV5 GREAT] P[]4 ,BUT ,I'M RUNN+ AHEAD4 ,EI!R %ORTLY BE=E OR %ORTLY AFT] MY MO!R DI$1 ,TITUS ,ZABRAN WAS HIR$4 ,HE HAD RETURN$ FROM ABROAD JU/ BE=E ! W> />T$4 ,DUR+ BREAKS HE W\LD TELL SEV]AL ( US AB\T HIS E>LI] ADV5TURES & ,I WAS HYPNOTIZ$ BY HIS /ORIES4 ,HE TOLD AB\T WORK]S :O HAD F\<T AGA9/ A :OLE >MY1 NOT = ?REE DAYS BUT = ?REE YE>S1 TO DEF5D !IR [N POPUL> GOV]NM5T40 

,I WAS AMAZ$ BY ,JASNA'S LA/ /ATEM5T4 0,IS ?AT H[ ,TITUS UND]/OOD ?AT /RUGGLE80 ,I ASK$4 ,I HAD NEV] HE>D ,TITUS SAY ANY?+ AB\T ?AT /RUGGLE NOR AB\T HIS ROLE 9 IT4 

0,( C\RSE ,I DON'T REMEMB] ! ACTUAL /ORIES HE TOLD ME10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,I DON'T ?9K ,I PAID TOO MU* ATT5TION ANYWAY4 ,TITUS FRI<T5$ ME4 ,I %>$ HIS HATR$ = ! OCCUPI]S4 ,BUT ,I WAS AFRAID ( HIS CON/ANT TALK AB\T ! NE$ TO >M & %OOT4 ,HE SEEM$ LIKE ! K9D ( P]SON :O W\LD DO EV]Y?+ HE SAID HE'D DO4 ,HE REM9D$ ME ( MY FA!R4 ,I %>$ HIS HATR$ BUT NOT HIS MANN]4 ,I REMEMB] ?AT ,I LIK$ ,MR4 ,ZAGAD A LOT BETT]4 ,I S5S$ ?AT HE HAT$ ! OCCUPI]S AS MU* AS ,TITUS OR ,I BUT HE DIDN'T GR[L & %[ HIS TEE? LIKE A VICI\S DOG4 ,:5EV] SOLDI]S OR 9SPECTORS CAME TO ! PLANT HE WAS ALWAYS C\RTE\S4 ,HE WASN'T SLAVI%1 JU/ C\RTE\S40 

,I 9T]RUPT$ ,JASNA TO PO9T \T1 0,IF EV]YONE HAD BE5 SO C\RTE\S ?OSE OCCUPI]S W\LD /ILL BE H]E40 

0,I KN[10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,I'M JU/ TELL+ Y\ :AT ,I FELT AT ! TIME4 ,AFT] ! W> 5D$ ,I FELT ?AT ,TITUS HAD BE5 RI<T4 ,ACTUALLY ,I GOT TO LIKE HIM EV5 BE=E ! W> 5D$1 MA9LY = HIS KN[L$GE4 ,HE SEEM$ TO KN[ EV]Y?+4 ,LUISA ,NA*ALO WAS ANO!R P]SON :O SEEM$ TO KN[ EV]Y?+ BUT ,I DISLIK$ H] :5 %E FIR/ CAME TO ! PLANT4 ,%E WAS HIR$ A FEW MON?S AFT] ,TITUS40 

,AT ?IS PO9T ,Y>A HAD A QUE/ION4 0,DID Y\ SAY Y\ LIK$ HIM BECAUSE HE WAS SM>T BUT Y\ DISLIK$ H] BECAUSE %E WAS SM>T80 

,JASNA LAU<$4 0,Y\ CAU<T ME1 DIDN'T Y\8 ,NO1 ,I GUESS ,I'M NOT BE+ ALTOGE!R TRU?FUL4 ,I WAS AFRAID ( ,TITUS BUT ,I LIK$ HIM AT ! SAME TIME4 ,& ,I ?9K ,I DISLIK$ ,LUISA AT FIR/ BECAUSE ,I WAS JEAL\S4 ,9 A WAY ,I DID DISLIKE H] BECAUSE %E WAS SO SM>T2 ?AT WAS :AT MADE ME JEAL\S4 ,I SUPPOSE ,I WANT$ TO =M A CLOS] RELATION%IP ) ,TITUS BUT HE SEEM$ TO CONSID] ME A GOOSE1 ESPECIALLY AFT] ,LUISA />T$ WORK+ AT ! PLANT4 ,NEXT TO ,LUISA ,I WAS A GOOSE4 ,%E WAS SO QUICK1 SO WELL 9=M$1 SO BRILLIANT ) H] =EIGN ACC5T & H] %>P TONGUE4 ,I KNEW ,I'D NEV] LIVE UP TO ?AT WOMAN4 ,%E HAD BE5 M>RI$ BE=E1 ALREADY HAD TWO DAU<T]S1 & HAD NEV]!LESS MANAG$ TO FAMILI>IZE H]SELF ) EV]Y?+ UND] ! SUN & SEEM$ AS 9DEP5D5T AS A BIRD4 ,MY MO!R HAD ONLY HAD ONE DAU<T] & %E HAD US$ ME AS H] LIFELONG EXCUSE = H] ABYSMAL IGNORANCE4 ,YES1 ,I 5VI$ ,LUISA4 ,BUT ,I DIDN'T EV5 TRY TO COMPETE ) H]4 ,I KNEW ,I'D ONLY MAKE MYSELF MORE ( A GOOSE4 ,I /OPP$ ?9K+ ( =M+ A CLOS] RELATION%IP ) ,TITUS40 

,I TOLD ,JASNA ?AT ,TITUS & ,LUISA HAD M]ELY BE5 FRI5DS & ?AT ,LUISA HAD LIV$ ) ANO!R MAN :5 WE KNEW H]4 

',T ?9K ,I KNEW ?AT10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,I DIMLY REMEMB] HAV+ KN[N ?AT1 BUT ,I LI$ TO MYSELF4 ,TITUS TOOK NO 9T]E/ 9 ME4 ,I WAS HURT4 ,I CONV9C$ MYSELF ?AT HE IGNOR$ ME BECAUSE ,I WAS NO ,LUISA4 ,BUT ,I DIDN'T SP5D TOO MANY H\RS FEEL+ SORRY = MYSELF4 ,I READ NOVELS 9/EAD4 ,LAT] ON1 AFT] ,I DROPP$ ! IDEA ( FALL+ 9 LOVE ) ,TITUS1 ,I GOT TO LIKE ,LUISA4 ,BUT ?AT WAS ONLY A FEW MON?S BE=E WE W]E ALL SEP>AT$4 ,I'VE ALWAYS BE5 SORRY ,I NEV] HAD A LONG TALK ) H]4 ,WE W]E TOGE!R = SU* A %ORT TIME40 

,I ASK$ ,JASNA :AT %E HAD DONE DUR+ ! RESI/ANCE4 

0,NO?+10 %E ANSW]$4 0,ABSOLUTELY NO?+4 ,DUR+ ! :OLE LA/ YE> ( ! W> ,TITUS HAD REPEAT$LY ASK$ ME TO ATT5D MEET+S ( ! NEI<BORHOOD RESI/ANCE ORGANIZATION4 ,SEV]AL TIMES ,I PROMIS$ ,I'D GO1 BUT :5 ! TIME CAME TO GO TO ! MEET+ MY :OLE BODY />T$ %AK+4 ,I HAD VISIONS ( POLICE KNOCK+ ON ! DOOR & DRAGG+ ME AWAY1 ALONG ) ,TITUS & ALL ! O!RS1 TO BE %OT OR DEPORT$ TO A CONC5TRATION CAMP4 ,DUR+ ALL ?REE DAYS ( ! UPRIS+ ,I LOCK$ MYSELF 9TO MY H\SE & ,I DIDN'T COME \T AGA9 UNTIL SEV]AL H\RS AFT] ,I HE>D ! LA/ %OT4 ,I WAS DEA?LY AFRAID4 ,:5 IT ALL 5D$ ,I WAS AS GLAD ?AT ! %OOT+ WAS OV] AS ,I WAS ?AT ! OCCUPATION WAS OV]4 ,! FOLL[+ DAY ,I W5T BACK TO ! PLANT4 ,MANY ( ! PEOPLE ,I HAD WORK$ ) HAD BE5 KILL$ BY A S+LE EXPLOSION :5 !Y W]E LEAV+ ! PLANT ON ! LA/ DAY ( ! UPRIS+4 ,SEV]AL O!RS HAD BE5 KILL$ 9 ! FI<T+4 ,?AT WAS :5 ,I MET Y\R BRO!R10 %E TOLD ,MIRNA4 0,!Y W]E ALL HIR$ AT ! SAME TIME3 ,Y>O/AN1 ,V]A ,NEIS1 ,ADRIAN ,POVR%AN1 ,CLAUDE ,TAMNI*1 ,M>C ,GLAVNI40 

,I REM9D$ ,JASNA ?AT ,M>C WAS HIR$ ?REE YE>S LAT]4 

0,?REE YE>S60 %E EXCLAIM$4 0,I HAD =GOTT54 ,!Y W]E ! HAPPIE/ YE>S ( MY LIFE4 ,I ?9K ,I W\LD HAVE BE5 CONT5T TO REMA9 ON ?AT JOB ) ?OSE PEOPLE4 ,Y\1 ,TITUS & ,LUISA W]E ! MO/ ?\<TFUL1 ! MO/ 9TELLIG5T PEOPLE ,I'VE KN[N4 ,REC5TLY ,I'VE KN[N MA9LY TEA*]S2 NONE ( !M >E AS WELL 9=M$1 AS $UCAT$ & P]CEPTIVE AS ! ?REE ( Y\ W]E4 ,& Y\R BRO!R1 ,MIRNA1 WAS ! G5TLE/1 W>ME/1 MO/ G5]\S 9DIVIDUAL ,I'VE EV] MET OR READ AB\T4 ,HE WAS ! ONLY ONE :O NEV] TREAT$ ME AS A GOOSE4 ,HE PAID ATT5TION TO :AT ,I HAD TO SAY EV5 ?\< ,I USUALLY CONTRADICT$ MYSELF4 

,HE TOOK ME S]I\SLY EV5 :5 ,I DIDN'T TAKE MYSELF S]I\SLY4 ,HE SOMETIMES HAD DIE MO/ ABSURD IDEAS1 LIKE WANT+ TO DRAG ! MA*9]Y 9TO ! /REET & CONV]T+ ! FACTORY 9TO A DANCE HALL1 BUT HE WAS NEV] MALICI\S4 ,ALL HIS SUGGE/IONS SEEM$ LIKE FUN & ,I WAS USUALLY ! MA9 SUPPORT] ( HIS CRAZY S*EMES4 ,AT ?AT TIME ,I ALSO LOV$ ,V]A & ,ADRIAN4 ,!Y W]E SO COMICAL4 ,I ?\<T ALREADY !N ?AT !Y \<T TO BE 5T]TA9]S 9 A !AT]4 ,I WASN'T F> WRONG4 ,V]A WAS SO FUNNY ) ALL H] /ORIES AB\T ! CROOK$ DEALS ( :AT %E CALL$ ! RUL+ CLASS4 ,I WAS 9 /IT*ES DUR+ HALF ( EV]Y WORK+ DAY4 ,I EV5 LIK$ ?AT OX ,CLAUDE1 MA9LY BECAUSE ,I FELT SORRY = HIM2 HE WAS ! ONLY P]SON !RE :O WAS DUMB] ?AN ,I4 ,YES1 ,M>C WAS ! LA/4 ,& ,I LIK$ HIM LEA/4 ,HE WAS FRE% \T ( HI< S*OOL & SU* A CLOD4 ,I CAN'T BELIEVE :AT HE IS N[4 ,HE ALWAYS SPOKE ) ! SELF-ASSURANCE ( A SPOIL$ BRAT BUT C\LDN'T DO A ?+ ON HIS [N4 ,I CON/ANTLY HAD TO %[ HIM :AT TO DO1 & ALMO/ EV]Y DAY ,I REPAIR$ SOME?+ HE HAD RU9$4 ,I DON'T ?9K ANY ( ?OSE PEOPLE W\LD HAVE BE5 REM>KABLE BY !MSELVES4 ,SOME?+ /RANGE HAPP5$ DUR+ ?OSE ?REE YE>S4 ,WE W]E ALL DEEPLY AFFECT$ BY SOME?+1 P]HAPS BY EA* O!R4 ,I ?9K ?OSE YE>S MADE ALL ( US :AT WE BECAME4 ,I KN[ ?AT ,V]A W\LD HAVE QUIET$ D[N & BECOME LIKE EV]YONE ELSE IF ,TITUS & ,LUISA HADN'T CONT9UALLY 5C\RAG$ H]1 & IF ,TITUS HADN'T US$ HIS 9FLU5CE TO KEEP H] FROM BE+ FIR$4 ,Y\1 ,Y>O/AN1 W\LD HAVE BE5 A COMPLETELY DIFF]5T P]SON IF Y\ HADN'T MET ,LUISA4 ,! ONLY ONE :O DIDN'T *ANGE DUR+ ?OSE YE>S WAS Y\R BRO!R1 ,MIRNA4 ,I ?9K ,JAN WAS ! ONLY ONE ( US :O W\LD HAVE L$ ! SAME LIFE HE L$40 

,I TOLD ,JASNA Y\ CONSID]$ Y\R BRIEF CONTACT ) ?AT GR\P ( PEOPLE ! C5TRAL EXP]I5CE 9 Y\R LIFE & ASK$ H] :AT %E ?\<T EXTRAORD9>Y AB\T ?OSE PEOPLE OR ?AT SITUATION4 ,H] ANSW] GAVE ME SOME 9SI<T 9TO ! LIFE *OICES Y\'VE MADE4 

0,I'VE NEV] 9 MY LIFE EXP]I5C$ SU* A TURN-AB\T1 EXCEPT :5 ,I WAS >RE/$10 %E SAID4 0,I W5T TO COLLEGE LAT] ON1 BUT ,I DIDN'T LE>N NE>LY AS MU* AS ,I LE>N$ DUR+ ?OSE ?REE YE>S4 ,! REAL UNIV]SITY ,I ATT5D$ WAS ! C>TON PLANT AFT] Y\1 ,JAN & ! O!RS W]E HIR$4 ,I KNEW ALREADY !N ?AT NONE ( ! PEOPLE 9 \R GR\P W\LD SP5D !IR LIVES 9 ! C>TON PLANT OR 9 ANY O!R K9D ( FACTORY WORK1 EXCEPT POSSIBLY ,JAN4 ,WE W]E SIMPLY TRANS=M$ BY ?AT EXP]I5CE40 

,I ASK$ H] :AT %E ?\<T HAD HAPP5$ TO US DUR+ ?OSE ?REE YE>S4 

0,IT'S SOME?+ ,I'VE NEV] BE=E TRI$ TO PUT 9TO WORDS10 %E SAID4 0,NOT ?AT IT WAS SO MY/]I\S4 ,:5 ,I ATT5D$ COLLEGE SEV]AL YE>S LAT] ,I KNEW ?AT NONE ( MY FELL[ /UD5TS W\LD EV] GO BACK TO FACTORY JOBS NO MATT] :AT !IR SOCIAL BACKGR\ND WAS4 ,9 ! UNIV]SITY ?IS WAS SIMPLY TAK5 = GRANT$4 ,9 \R GR\P ?IS WASN'T EV] /AT$ BUT IT SEEM$ JU/ AS OBVI\S TO ME4 ,I'M SURPRIS$ Y\'RE /ILL WORK+ 9 A FACTORY4 I WAS WRONG AB\T Y\40 

,I TOLD H] ,I HAD *ANG$ & REM9D$ H] ?AT ,LUISA TOO WAS /ILL WORK+ 9 A FACTORY4 

0,I'M NOT SURPRIS$ AB\T ,LUISA10 %E SAID4 0,I W\LDN'T HAVE EXPECT$ H] TO UND]GO ! SAME *ANGES4 ,%E WAS DIFF]5T4 ,%E'S ! ONE :O SET IT ALL (F4 ,I DON'T ?9K ,TITUS BY HIMSELF W\LD HAVE HAD SU* AN IMPACT4 ,I ?9K IT WAS ! PRES5CE ( ,LUISA ?AT WAS SO EXPLOSIVE1 ?AT CAUS$ SU* PR(\ND TRANS=MATIONS 9 ! PEOPLE >\ND H]4 ,I WASN'T ! FIR/ TO BE AFFECT$ BY H]4 ,UN=TUNATELY ,I WAS ONE ( ! LA/4 ,I ?9K Y\ & ,V]A W]E ! FIR/4 ,LUISA OBVI\SLY DIDN'T HAVE ! SAME EFFECT ON EV]YONE4 ,Y\ & ,V]A W]E AFFECT$ SO DIFF]5TLY4 ,EV]YONE WAS AFFECT$ DIFF]5TLY4 ,IT WASN'T ONLY :AT ,LUISA SAID ?AT AFFECT$ US1 AL?\< ?AT TOO WAS EXCIT+4 ,I /ILL REMEMB] ! /ORIES %E TOLD US AB\T WORK]S %E'D KN[N :O HADN'T ONLY F\<T 9 A RESI/ANCE LIKE \RS BUT HAD GONE FROM ! B>RICADES TO !IR FACTORIES TO LOCK \T !IR BOSSES & 9/ALL !IR [N FRI5DS 9 ALL ! MANAG]IAL (FICES4 ,?OSE /ORIES W]E EXCIT+ BUT ONLY AS TOPICS ( CONV]SATION1 AS /ORIES4 ,I HE>D !M AS FAIRY TALES4 ,?AT ALONE W\LDN'T HAVE TRANS=M$ ME4 ,:AT TRANS=M$ US WAS H[ %E ACT$3 H] MANN]1 H] BEHAVIOR1 H] P]SONALITY4 ,EV5 IF H] /ORIES W]5'T TRUE1 IF WORK]S HAD NEV] DONE :AT %E SAID !Y HAD DONE1 ,LUISA MADE US ALL FEEL ?AT %E WAS DET]M9$ TO DO EXACTLY ?AT1 & RI<T 9 \R PLANT4 ,FROM ! FIR/ DAY %E CAME TO ! PLANT %E />T$ ASK+ :]E ! MAT]IALS CAME FROM1 :AT WAS TO BE DONE ) !M 9 ! PLANT1 :]E ! PRODUCTS W]E S5T AFT]W>DS4 ,MAYBE %E ONLY ASK$ ?OSE QUE/IONS SO AS TO FAMILI>IZE H]SELF ) EV]Y ASPECT ( ! PLANT'S ACTIVITY1 BUT %E MADE US ALL FEEL WE KNEW 9F9ITELY MORE AB\T ! PROCESS ?AN ,MR ,ZAGAD2 %E MADE US FEEL ?AT ,MR4 ,ZAGAD WAS SUP]FLU\S & ?AT WE C\LD RUN ! PLANT MU* BETT] )\T HIM4 ,%E COMMUNICAT$ H] IMPATI5CE TO US4 ,) EV]Y?+ %E SAID & DID %E SEEM$ TO BE ASK+ ! RE/ ( US :AT WE W]E WAIT+ =4 ,%E MADE US FEEL LIKE C[>DS = NOT DO+ ALL ! ?+S ?AT HAD BE5 DONE BY ! WORK]S %E DESCRIB$4 ,?IS HAD A /RANGE EFFECT ON ALL ( US1 & FIR/ ( ALL ON Y\40 

,I ADMITT$ HAV+ BE5 AFFECT$ BY ,LUISA ! V]Y FIR/ TIME ,I MET H]4 

0,Y\ W]5'T ONLY AFFECT$1 Y\ W]E COMPLETELY TRANS=M$4 ,Y\ BECAME JU/ LIKE H]4 ,I ?9K ,LUISA C\LD HAVE LEFT ! PLANT A FEW MON?S AFT] Y\ CAME & Y\ W\LD HAVE EX]T$ ! SAME 9FLU5CE ON ! RE/ ( US4 ,Y\ ACQUIR$ ! SAME SELF-ASSURANCE1 ! SAME IMPATI5CE4 ,Y\ MADE US FEEL LIKE C[>DS = NOT GO+ AHEAD ) ALL ?OSE S*EMES4 ,Y\ W]5'T H] DISCIPLE BUT H] EXACT REPLICA4 ,Y\ GAVE ! IMPRESSION ?AT Y\ HAD ACTUALLY LIV$ ALL ! EXP]I5CES %E HAD N>RAT$ TO US1 & ?AT Y\ W]E AS DET]M9$ AS %E TO MAKE !M HAPP5 H]E4 ,I C\LD SEE Y\ *ANGE FROM ONE DAY TO ! NEXT4 ,NO ONE ELSE WAS SO COMPLETELY TRANS=M$ BY ,LUISA4 ,V]A WAS ALSO PR(\NDLY AFFECT$1 BUT %E DIDN'T BECOME ANO!R ,LUISA4 ,I'M CONV9C$ ?AT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE ( ,LUISA ?AT ,V]A BECAME SU* AN 5T]TA9]1 SU* A RADIO1 AS Y\ US$ TO CALL H]4 ,LUISA'S M]E PRES5CE PROVOK$ ,V]A4 ,IT WAS AS IF ,V]A FELT COMPELL$ TO COMPETE ) ,LUISA EV]Y M9UTE ( ! DAY1 AS IF %E HAD TO \TDO ,LUISA 9 9TELLIG5CE1 KN[L$GE & EV5 SELF-CONFID5CE4 ,I C\LD ALMO/ SEE ! *ANGES ,V]A UND]W5T4 ,%E WASN'T ?AT TALKATIVE :5 %E FIR/ CAME & %E DID DO H] JOB4 ,BUT AFT] LI/5+ TO ,LUISA'S /ORIES = ONLY A MON? ,V]A />T$ TO TELL H] [N /ORIES4 ,AT FIR/ %E BOMB>D$ US ) /ATI/ICS AB\T ! \TPUT = :I* WORK]S W]E RESPONSIBLE & ! 9COME WE W]E PAID4 ,%E MU/ HAVE SP5T H] NI<TS RUMMAG+ ?R\< GOV]NM5T PUBLICATIONS & (FICIAL DOCUM5TS SO AS TO SP5D H] DAYS TELL+ US AB\T ! F9ANCIAL DEAL+S ( BANK]S & FACTORY [N]S4 ,! /ATI/ICS W]E APPRECIAT$ BY ,TITUS BUT !Y DIDN'T GO OV] V]Y WELL ) ! RE/ ( US4 ,WE /ILL F\ND ,LUISA'S OBS]VATIONS MORE EXCIT+4 ,SO ,V]A />T$ COLLECT+ ALL K9DS ( ANECDOTES1 HAIR-RAIS+ ACC\NTS ( CROOK$ DEALS4 ,%E WAS DET]M9$ NOT TO BE \TDONE BY ,LUISA4 ,?REE OR F\R TIMES %E EV5 TOLD US ! DETAILS ( MAJOR SC&ALS SEV]AL DAYS BE=E ! NEWSPAP]S REPORT$ !M4 ,& ,ADRIAN1 :O HAD WOR%IP$ ,V]A S9CE HI< S*OOL1 BECAME SOME?+ LIKE H] /RAI<T MAN4 ,V]A W\LD MAKE A GR&IOSE /ATEM5T & ,ADRIAN W\LD LEAP 9 ) DETAIL$ DOCUM5TATION4 ,SOMETIMES !Y EV5 ACT$ \T ! SC5ES ( A REC5T SC&AL4 ,DO Y\ ?9K !Y'D EV] HAVE DONE ?OSE ?+S 9 NORMAL CIRCUM/ANCES8 ,I WAS AFFECT$ TOO4 ,EV]Y?+ SEEM$ SO MU* FUN1 ,I WAS SWEPT ALONG BY ALL ! EXCITEM5T4 ,EV5 ,M>C WAS AFFECT$1 ?\< HE WAS 9 ! C>TON PLANT SO BRIEFLY BE=E WE W]E >RE/$4 ,9EPT AS HE WAS 9 EV]Y?+ HE DID1 HE TREAT$ HIMSELF AS SOMEONE :O KNEW MORE AB\T WORK]S RUNN+ !IR [N PLANTS ?AN ANYONE ELSE1 EV5 ,LUISA4 ,EV]Y O!R DAY HE DESCRIB$ A COMPLEX S*EME2 HE FIGUR$ \T H[ PEOPLE W]E GO+ TO SUPPLY EA* O!R ) RAW MAT]IALS1 ELECTRICITY1 H\S+ & EV]Y?+ ELSE UND] ! SUN4 ,LUISA SEEM$ TO ADMIRE HIM = ! EF=T HE PUT 9TO !SE S*EMES4 ,I WAS SURPRIS$ %E DIDN'T SEE ?R\< HIM4 ,HE WAS NO?+ BUT A CONCEIT$ BOY TRY+ DESP]ATELY TO PROVE ?AT HE WAS BETT] ?AN ! RE/ ( US4 ,HE MAY HAVE BE5 9TELLIG5T1 BUT S9CE IT WAS ,I :O RAN BEH9D HIM REPAIR+ :AT HE HAD RU9$1 ,I WASN'T IMPRESS$ BY HIS ABILITIES4 ,CLAUDE WAS AFFECT$ TOO1 BUT 9 A /RANGE WAY2 HE HAD SU* A ONE-TRACK M9D4 ,HIS S+LE RESPONSE TO ,LUISA'S IMPATI5CE & TO ,V]A'S EXPOSURES WAS TO WANT TO LIQUIDATE OB/ACLES1 LIQUIDATE 5EMIES2 HE EV5 SPOKE ( LIQUIDAT+ ,MR4 ,ZAGAD4 ,CLAUDE SEEM$ TO ?9K ALREADY !N ?AT ALL \R EXCITEM5T WAS ONLY A PREP>ATION = ! DAY :5 \R GR\P W\LD ORD] HIM TO C>RY \T HIS LIQUIDATIONS4 ,I DON'T ?9K ,I KNEW ?IS AT ! TIME2 ,I MU/ HAVE REALIZ$ IT :5 ,I SAW HIM YE>S LAT]4 ,:AT ,I FELT AT ! TIME WAS ?AT HE LOOM$ ABOVE US LIKE A ?REAT5+ CL\D4 ,:5EV] HE SPOKE HE TURN$ \R 5?USIASM 9TO SOME?+ FRI<T5+4 ,HE MADE ALL \R FUN SEEM LIKE A PRELUDE TO SOME?+ HORRIBLE40 

,I 9T]RUPT$ ,JASNA'S N>RATIVE & TOLD H] ,I ?\<T %E WAS EXAGG]AT+ ! MAGNITUDE ( ,LUISA'S 9FLU5CE4 ,9 MY VIEW IT WASN'T ONLY ! EXP]I5CES WE %>$ AT ! C>TON PLANT ?AT MADE ?OSE PEOPLE :AT !Y LAT] BECAME4 ,! TRAITS !Y EXHIBIT$ :5 ,JASNA KNEW !M MU/ ALREADY HAVE BE5 9TEGRAL P>TS ( !IR P]SONALITIES4 

,JASNA DISAGRE$ QUITE VEHEM5TLY4 0,)\T ! EXP]I5CES WE %>$ 9 ?AT PLANT NONE ( ?OSE PEOPLE W\LD HAVE MOV$ 9 ! DIRECTIONS 9 :I* !Y'VE MOV$ S9CE !N4 ,EV]Y S+LE ONE ( ?OSE PEOPLE W\LD HAVE BE5 A FACTORY WORK] TODAY4 ,WELL1 ( C\RSE ,I CAN'T BE SURE AB\T ?AT4 ,BUT ,I DO KN[ ?AT H>DLY ANY ( !M >E FACTORY WORK]S TODAY & :AT *ANG$ !M WAS ! TIME WE SP5T TOGE!R4 ,DO Y\ ?9K ,CLAUDE W\LD EV] HAVE LEFT HIS FIR/ FACTORY JOB IF SOME?+ EXTRAORD9>Y HADN'T HAPP5$ TO HIM8 ,( C\RSE !Y ALL CAME !RE ) P]SONALITY TRAITS4 ,?AT'S :Y !Y ALL RESPOND$ SO DIFF]5TLY4 ,:5 ,I GOT TO KN[ ,V]A %E BOA/$ %E'D BE5 A TR\BLEMAK] 9 HI< S*OOL DUR+ ! W>1 %E'D GIV5 SPEE*ES ATTACK+ ! OCCUPI]S4 ,BUT ! M]E ABILITY TO GIVE SPEE*ES WASN'T 5\<4 ,%E'D HAVE LO/ ?IS ABILITY AS SOON AS %E WAS FIR$ = GIV+ A SPEE* & HAD TO F9D ANO!R JOB2 IF %E'D GOTT5 A JOB 9 A PLACE :]E ! NOISE DR[N$ H] \T OR :]E TALK WASN'T ALL[$1 %E'D HAVE BE5 AS QUIET AS ANYONE ELSE4 ,%E WAS TALKATIVE ALREADY 9 HI< S*OOL4 ,BUT %E BECAME A SELF-ASSUR$ SOCIAL RE=M] ONLY AFT] %E RAN 9TO ,LUISA4 ,& :AT P]SONALITY TRAITS DID ,M>C HAVE8 ,HIS CONCEIT CAME FROM HIS HAV+ BE5 ONE ( ! BRI<T] /UD5TS 9 A PROV9CIAL S*OOL :]E OV] HALF ! /UD5TS MISS$ S*OOL = SEV]AL WEEKS EV]Y SPR+ & FALL BECAUSE ( F>M WORK & EV]Y W9T] BECAUSE ( LACK ( TRANSPORTATION4 ,HIS CONCEIT W\LD HAVE BE5 KNOCK$ \T ( HIM BY ANY NORMAL GR\P ( CITY WORK]S :O W]E AS $UCAT$ AS HE WAS4 ,IF ,LUISA HADN'T CONSID]$ HIM SU* A G5IUS HE'D NEV] HAVE DREAM$ ( GO+ TO ! UNIV]SITY & HE'D NEV] HAVE ?\<T HIMSELF ABLE TO OCCUPY ! PO/S HE OCCUPIES TODAY4 ,:5 ,M>C />T$ TO CLIMB TO ?OSE HI< PO/S IT BECAME CLE> TO ME :AT K9D ( PEOPLE OCCUPY !M4 ,NOR W\LD ,ADRIAN HAVE GOTT5 :]E HE IS N[ ON HIS [N4 ,HE M]ELY DRIFT$ 9 ! DIRECTION ! RE/ TOOK1 :I* IS ALL ,I'VE EV] DONE4 ,NEI!R ,ADRIAN NOR ,I W\LD EV] HAVE DRIFT$ \T ( ! FACTORY IF WE HADN'T BE5 ABLE TO DRIFT ALONG ) ! O!RS40 

,MIRNA ASK$ :Y H] BRO!R HAD REMA9$ UNAFFECT$ BY ,LUISA & BY ALL ! EXCITEM5T WE HAD %>$4 

0,JAN WASN'T LIKE ! RE/ ( US10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,NEI!R WAS ,TITUS4 ,IT'S FUNNY4 ,I'VE SE5 MU* MORE ( ,TITUS ?AN ( ANY ( ! O!RS4 ,I'VE KN[N HIM S9CE ! W> & ,I SAW HIM FREQU5TLY DUR+ ! PA/ TW5TY YE>S4 ,BUT ,I DON'T UND]/& HIM AT ALL AS WELL AS ,I UND]/& ! O!RS4 ,I NEV] REALLY GOT TO KN[ HIM4 ,IF HE TOOK P>T 9 DISCUSSIONS AT ALL1 IT WAS ONLY TO ADVISE O!RS TO BE PATI5T4 ,AFT] HIS FIR/ YE> AT ! PLANT1 HE NO LONG] SAID ANY?+ AB\T ! EXP]I5CES HE HAD %>$ ) ,LUISA4 ,I DON'T SUPPOSE HE *ANG$ DUR+ ?OSE YE>S ANY MORE ?AN ,JAN DID4 ,BUT ,I DON'T KN[ TO :AT EXT5T ,LUISA AFFECT$ HIM BE=E ,I MET HIM4 ,I DO KN[ ?AT ,JAN WASN'T AFFECT$ BY ,LUISA4 ,HE OPPOS$ ,LUISA ! V]Y FIR/ DAY HE CAME TO ! PLANT4 ,HE RIDICUL$ H]4 ,HE SAID ?AT IF HE HAD BE5 ONE ( ! WORK]S :O HAD \/$ A PLANT'S [N]S & MANAG]S HE C\LDN'T IMAG9E :Y 9 ! WORLD HE W\LD RETURN TO ! PLANT ! NEXT DAY UNLESS HE HAD SOME P]SONAL USE = ONE ( ! MA*9ES 9 ! PLANT4 ,HE SAID HE C\LDN'T IMAG9E A SITUATION 9 :I* WORK]S \/$ ALL SOCIAL AU?ORITIES & !N CONT9U$ DO+ :AT !Y HAD DONE BE=E4 ,HE EV5 ACCUS$ ,LUISA ( LY+4 ,HE SAID NO WORK] HE'D EV] KN[N W\LD RETURN TO WORK IF HE NO LONG] HAD TO4 ,MU* AS ,I ADMIR$ ,LUISA1 ,I WAS CONV9C$ BY ,JAN EV]Y TIME HE >GU$ ) H]4 ,IF ,JAN HAD HAD HIS WAY NONE ( US W\LD HAVE GONE BACK TO ! PLANT ! DAY AFT] ,MR4 ,ZAGAD WAS ?R[N \T4 ,OR WE'D HAVE GONE BACK ONLY TO ?R[ \T ,MR4 ,ZAGAD'S MA*9]Y4 ,( C\RSE IF WE'D DONE :AT ,JAN WANT$ WE'D HAVE BE5 >RE/$ EV5 SOON] ?AN WE W]E40 

0,S9CE Y\ DIDN'T DO ANY ( ?OSE ?+S1 :Y W]E Y\ ALL >RE/$80 ,MIRNA ASK$4 

0,DIDN'T Y\ KN[80 ,JASNA ASK$4 0,I FIGUR$ ?AT \T -- OR RA!R1 IT WAS EXPLA9$ TO ME DUR+ MY YE> 9 PRISON4 ,EV]Y ONE ( \R SIGNS WAS DIFF]5T FROM ! (FICIAL SIGNS4 ,Y>O/AN1 ,LUISA & SOMETIMES ,V]A >GU$ ALL NI<T LONG TO MAKE \R SIGNS DIFF]5T4 ,JAN HAD ABSOLUTELY NO?+ TO DO ) ?AT4 ,HE EV5 REFUS$ TO TAKE P>T 9 ! PR9T+ & DI/RIBUTION ( \R SIGNS AFT] ,MR4 ,ZAGAD WAS \/$4 ,HE GRUMBL$ ?AT BY CONT9U+ TO WORK 9SIDE ?OSE FACTORY WALLS )\T TE>+ !M D[N WE W]E ONLY IMPRISON+ \RSELVES4 ,& HE WAS RI<T40 

0,Y\ W]E >RE/$ BECAUSE Y\R SIGNS W]E DIFF]5T80 ,Y>A ASK$4 

0,& ,I WAS SO /UPID ,I DIDN'T KN[ ?AT AT ! TIME10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,DUR+ ONE ( MY FIR/ DAYS 9 PRISON1 9 ! D9+ HALL1 A WOMAN ASK$ ME :Y ,I'D BE5 >RE/$4 ,I HONE/LY TOLD H] ,I DIDN'T KN[4 ,! 9VE/IGATOR'S QUE/IONS HAD BE5 TOTALLY 9COMPREH5SIBLE TO ME & ,I DIDN'T UND]/& ! ACCUSATION EI!R4 ,! WOMAN !N ASK$ :AT ,I HAD DONE DUR+ ! DAYS ( ! C\P4 ,I TOLD H] ,I HAD PR9T$ SLOGANS ON SIGNS & M>*$ >\ND ) ! SIGNS LIKE EV]YONE ELSE4 ,EV5TUALLY %E ASK$ ME :AT SLOGANS W]E ON MY SIGNS4 ,AS SOON AS ,I />T$ TO DESCRIBE SOME ( !M ALL ! WOM5 9 ! D9+ HALL BEGAN TO LAU< AT ME4 ,SEV]AL DAYS LAT] ,I ASK$ ONE ( ! WOM5 :Y EV]YONE HAD LAU<$ AT ME4 ,%E ASK$ ) DISBELIEF IF ,I REALLY HADN'T KN[N ?AT EV]Y ONE ( MY SLOGANS WAS A P>ODY ( ! (FICIAL SLOGANS4 ,:]EV] ! (FICIAL SIGNS HAD ! WORD /ATE1 \R SIGNS HAD ! WORD WORK]S2 :]EV] ! (FICIAL SIGNS SAID P>TY1 \RS SAID UNION2 :]EV] !IR SIGNS SAID P[]1 \RS SAID SELF-MANAGEM5T4 ,I FELT LIKE AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT4 ,I HAD BE5 TOTALLY UNAW>E ( !SE DIFF]5CES4 ,TO ME ALL ! SIGNS 9 ! /REETS HAD LOOK$ ID5TICAL4 ,IT WAS ONLY AFT] ,I LE>N$ AB\T !SE DIFF]5CES ?AT ,I REMEMB]$ ALL ! >GUM5TS BETWE5 ,LUISA1 ,V]A & ,TITUS AB\T ! SLOGANS ?AT W]E TO GO ON \R SIGNS4 ,AT ! TIME ,I HAD ?\<T !Y W]E >GU+ 9 A =EIGN LANGUAGE4 ,I /ILL DON'T UND]/& :Y ?IS WAS SO IMPORTANT4 ,IF ,I DIDN'T SEE \R SIGNS AS ANY DIFF]5T FROM ANYONE ELSE'S ,I'M SURE NO ONE ELSE DID EI!R4 ,I'M SURE ! POLICE W]E ! ONLY ONES :O W]E AW>E ( !SE DIFF]5CES1 ,Y>O/AN1 SURELY Y\ KNEW :Y WE W]E >RE/$4 ,Y\ & ,LUISA ATTA*$ SO MU* IMPORTANCE TO ?OSE DIFF]5CES4 ,! DIFF]5CES MATT]$ TO ,M>C & ,ADRIAN ONLY BECAUSE Y\ & ,LUISA ?\<T !M SO IMPORTANT4 ,I DIDN'T KN[ ANY?+ AB\T !M4 ,:5 ,I WAS >RE/$ ,I 9SI/$ ,I HADN'T EV] DONE ANY?+ 9 MY :OLE LIFE2 ,I HADN'T EV5 HAD ! N]VE TO TAKE P>T 9 ! RESI/ANCE AGA9/ ! OCCUPI]S :O KILL$ MY FA!R4 ,BUT MY PROTE/S W]E ALL IRRELEVANT4 ,! TRIAL ROLL$ OV] ME LIKE A LOCOMOTIVE1 & NO MATT] H[ L\DLY ,I %\T$ ,I C\LDN'T AFFECT ITS C\RSE4 ,I DIDN'T UND]/& A ?+4 ,I DON'T REMEMB] ALL ! ACCUSATIONS ?AT W]E ?R[N AT ME4 ,AT ?AT TIME ,I DIDN'T EV5 KN[ :AT ! WORD SABOTAGE MEANT4 ,I WAS NEV]!LESS S5T5C$ TO A YE> 9 PRISON4 ,H[ IS IT POSSIBLE ?AT ,LUISA SP5T ONLY TWO DAYS8 ,%E1 AT LEA/1 KNEW :Y %E WAS !RE4 ,PRISON LIFE WAS A NI<TM>E = ME4 ,MO/ ( ! WOM5 ,I MET W]E MEAN TO ME4 ,AFT] ,I MADE SU* A FOOL ( MYSELF ,I BECAME ! PRISON DUNCE4 ,ONE WOMAN TOLD ME ?AT AFT] MY YE> WAS OV] ,I'D AUTOMATICALLY GET ANO!R S5T5CE BECAUSE DUR+ ! FIR/ YE> ,I HAD BECOME A JAILBIRD & !RE=E A SOCIALLY DANG]\S P]SON4 ,& %E SAID !RE WAS NO TELL+ H[ LONG ! NEXT S5T5CE W\LD BE BUT ?AT ONE-YE> T]MS W]E UNHE>D (4 ,ANO!R WOMAN FILL$ ME ) HORROR /ORIES AB\T ! TORTURE *AMB]S TO :I* ,I'D BE S5T4 ,I %OOK ) FE> EV]Y WAK+ MOM5T ,I SP5T !RE4 ,I WAS SO RELIEV$ :5 ,I F9ALLY LEFT ?AT HELL4 ,LUCKILY MY H\SE WAS EXACTLY AS ,I'D LEFT IT4 ,IT HADN'T BE5 CONFISCAT$4 ,I DECID$ ,I'D NEV] AGA9 TAKE P>T 9 POLITICAL GR\PS4 ,I'D NEV] AGA9 C>RY SIGNS OR GO TO DEMON/RATIONS4 ,I /UCK TO ?AT DECISION UNTIL A FEW WEEKS AGO4 ,BUT ,I TOOK P>T 9 ! ACTIVITIES 9 \R S*OOL ONLY BECAUSE EV]YONE ELSE IS TAK+ P>T 9 !M2 9 ?AT SITUATION IT W\LD REQUIRE BRAV]Y NOT TO TAKE P>T40 

,I GAVE ,JASNA A BRIEF SUMM>Y ( MY MIS]ABLE EXP]I5CE AFT] MY FIR/ RELEASE & ASK$ IF %E HAD BE5 ABLE TO F9D A JOB4 

0,I WAS SO GLAD TO BE \T ( ?AT PRISON ?AT NO?+ ELSE MATT]$10 %E SAID4 0,( C\RSE ,I WAS LUCKY TO HAVE ?AT LITTLE H\SE4 ,I HAD ALSO SAV$ SOME MONEY4 ,I DID LOOK = A JOB1 & HAD EXP]I5CES SIMIL> TO Y\RS4 ,I W5T TO ! C>TON PLANT FIR/4 ,! PEOPLE 9 *>GE W]E APES COMP>$ TO ,MR4 ,ZAGAD4 ,( C\RSE !Y TURN$ ME D[N4 ,I WAS TURN$ D[N AT ?REE O!R FACTORIES AS WELL4 ,BUT ,I DIDN'T REALLY C>E4 ,I HAD 5\< MONEY TO BUY GROC]IES = SEV]AL MON?S & MY LITTLE H\SE HAS BE5 PAID = S9CE BE=E ! W>4 ,I JU/ READ & WAIT$ TO SEE :AT W\LD -HAPP54 ,I 5VY ! C\RAGE ( WOM5 LIKE ,SOPHIA & ,SAB9A4 ,I DIDN'T HAVE ! N]VE TO LEAVE ! H\SE & GO LOOK+ = ADV5TURE4 ,NOT ON MY [N4 ,I READ4 ,I ?\<T4 ,MA9LY ,I FELT SORRY = MYSELF4 ,I WAS COMPLETELY LO/4 ,I KNEW ?AT MY SAV+S W\LD RUN \T EV5TUALLY4 ,I KNEW ,I C\LDN'T JU/ /AY 9SIDE MY H\SE4 ,BUT ! PRISON T]M HAD MADE ME UNEMPLOYABLE4 ,!RE WAS NO?+ ,I C\LD DO4 ,IT WAS ONLY SOME MON?S AFT] ,I WAS RELEAS$ ?AT ,I BEGAN TO FEEL ! WAY Y\ MU/ HAVE FELT4 ,FE> TOOK HOLD ( ME4 ,I WAS AFRAID ( MY NEI<BORS BECAUSE !Y SEEM$ TO LOOK AT ME FUNNY1 !Y SEEM$ TO ?9K ME /RANGE2 ,I REMEMB]$ :AT ,I'D BE5 TOLD AB\T BE+ A DANG]\S CONVICT4 ,I WAS AFRAID ( ! POLICE4 ,I WAS AFRAID ( /RANG]S ON ! /REET4 ,I DIDN'T KN[ ANYONE4 ,I WAS TW5TY-EI<T YE>S OLD & ,I WAS DEA?LY AFRAID TO LEAVE MY H\SE40 

,Y>A WAS MOV$4 0,WE DIDN'T KN[ :AT Y\'D BE5 ?R\< :5 WE CALL$ Y\ A TRAITOR = NOT TAK+ P>T 9 ! DEMON/RATIONS4 ,I'M SORRY10 %E TOLD ,JASNA4 

0,DON'T BE SORRY10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,Y\ & Y\R FRI5DS W]E RI<T4 ,PEOPLE :O >E AFRAID ( !IR [N %AD[S >5'T V]Y ADMIRABLE4 ,I HAD GOOD REASON TO BE AFRAID BUT NOT ( EV]Y?+ & EV]YONE1 NOT ALL ! TIME4 ,I DIDN'T ?9K ( KILL+ MYSELF4 ,?AT TAKES C\RAGE TOO4 ,I JU/ DIDN'T KN[ :AT TO DO4 ,SO ,I WAIT$4 ,I DON'T KN[ :AT W\LD HAVE HAPP5$ TO ME IF ,V]A HADN'T LIT]ALLY SAV$ ME FROM SOME AWFUL DEA? OR FROM 9SANITY4 ,V]A WAS RELEAS$ ALMO/ A YE> AFT] ,I WAS4 ,H] AP>TM5T HAD BE5 CONFISCAT$4 ,%E DIDN'T HAVE ANY LIV+ RELATIVES & %E HADN'T BE5 ABLE TO LOCATE ANY ( ! O!R PEOPLE WE'D WORK$ )4 ,%E HAD NO:]E 9 ! WORLD TO GO4 ,H[ HAPPY %E WAS :5 %E SAW IT WAS ,I :O OP5$ ! DOOR ( MY H\SE4 ,%E WAS OV]JOY$ TO LE>N ,I WAS LIV+ ALONE4 ,BUT H] HAPP9ESS AT SEE+ ME WAS NO?+ COMP>$ TO M9E4 ,I HUGG$ H] & ACT$ AS IF MY FA!R AS WELL AS MY MO!R HAD RETURN$ HOME4 ,I BEGG$ H] TO /AY ) ME & TO TREAT MY H\SE AS IF IT HAD ALWAYS BE5 H]S4 ,V]A WAS COMPLETELY TRANS=M$ BY H] PRISON T]M4 ,%E WAS QUIET & BITT]4 ,I WAS GRATEFUL TO H] = COM+ TO ME4 ,I DID EV]Y?+ ,I C\LD = H]4 ,I %OPP$1 COOK$1 CLEAN$ ! H\SE4 ,V]A SP5T EV]Y DAY \TSIDE ! H\SE1 MEET+ PEOPLE1 LE>N+ :AT OP5+S MI<T BE AVAILABLE = H]4 ,I'M EMB>RASS$ TO ADMIT H[ QUICKLY %E ORI5T$ H]SELF4 ,DUR+ ALMO/ A YE> ,I HAD ASSUM$ EV]Y?+ WAS CLOS$ TO ME1 & ,I DID NO?+4 ,V]A HAD ONLY BE5 ) ME = A WEEK :5 %E BEGAN TALK+ AB\T 5ROLL+ 9 COLLEGE4 ,%E SAID ?AT WAS ! ONLY WAY TO BECOME SOMEONE N[ADAYS2 FUR!RMORE IT WAS AN ALT]NATIVE ?AT WASN'T CLOS$ TO =M] PRISON]S4 ,A FEW WEEKS LAT] %E WAS 5ROLL$ 9 ! UNIV]SITY4 ,%E EXPRESS$ RELIEF AB\T ! FACT ?AT %E'D BE5 TURN$ D[N AT EV]Y FACTORY :]E %E HAD APPLI$ = A JOB2 %E SAID %E MI<T HAVE GOTT5 /UCK 9 ONE4 ,BY 5ROLL+ 9 ! UNIV]SITY %E ACQUIR$ A SMALL /IP5D AS WELL AS A L>GE HOPE ?AT %E'D NEV] HAVE TO LOOK = FACTORY WORK AGA940 

,I MADE A COMM5T AB\T ! PASSAGE NE> ! 5D ( Y\R LETT] :]E Y\ DESCRIBE ! /UD5TS 9 Y\R C\RSE4 ,I COMP>$ ,V]A TO ?OSE =M] WORK]S :O1 9 Y\R WORDS1 >E REPAIR+ & PA9T+ !MSELVES 9 ORD] TO GET \T ( ! FACTORY4 

0,?AT'S NOT REALLY A FAIR COMP>ISON10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,?AT WAS LIT]ALLY ! ONLY ALT]NATIVE AVAILABLE TO H] & TO ME4 ,WE LOOK$ = FACTORY JOBS & W]E TURN$ D[N4 ,BUT Y\'RE NOT ALTOGE!R WRONG4 ,WE HAD ALL DECID$ TO GET \T ( FACTORY WORK1 BUT SEV]AL YE>S E>LI]4 ,! HOPE ?AT WE'D NEV] WORK 9 FACTORIES AGA9 WAS BORN DUR+ ! DAYS :5 WE WORK$ AT ! C>TON FACTORY TOGE!R4 ,IT WAS !N ?AT ,V]A DREAM$ ( BECOM+ SOME?+ LIKE A POPUL> TRIBUNE1 SOME TYPE ( PUBLIC SPEAK]1 EXACTLY :AT %E IS N[4 ,\R EXP]I5CE 9 ! C>TON PLANT TAU<T EV]Y ONE ( US ?AT WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SP5D \R LIVES DO+ ?AT WORK4 ,IT WAS ON ?AT PO9T ?AT ,JAN ALWAYS DISAGRE$ ) ,LUISA4 ,JAN CONT9UALLY SAID ?AT AS SOON AS WE KNEW WE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO ?AT WORK NONE ( US W\LD EV] RETURN TO IT40 

,I OBJECT$ TO ,JASNA'S 9T]PRETATION ( ,JAN'S ATTITUDE4 

0,I KN[ ,JAN DIDN'T MEAN ?AT WE'D GO ON TO ! UNIV]SITY & TO HI<] PAY+ JOBS10 ,JASNA ADMITT$4 0,HE WANT$ TO DE/ROY ! FACTORY SO ?AT NO ONE ELSE W\LD HAVE TO WORK 9 IT EI!R4 ,BUT ! RE/ ( US W]5'T AB\T TO DO ?AT4 ,WE DIDN'T ACQUIRE ! DESIRE TO PUT AN 5D TO FACTORIES BUT TO PU% \RSELVES \T ( !M4 ,& ?AT'S :AT ,V]A DID AFT] H] RELEASE4 ,AS SOON AS %E WAS 5ROLL$ 9 ! UNIV]SITY %E />T$ TEAS+ & PRODD+ ME4 ,%E W\LD TELL ME ,I WAS AN OLD MAID & W\LD SOON BECOME ! NEI<BORHOOD WIT* IF ,I /AY$ LOCK$ UP 9 ! H\SE4 ,%E TOLD ME ?AT IF ,I 5ROLL$ 9 COLLEGE ,I'D GET A /IP5D = WORK]S & ONE = W> ORPHANS1 S9CE ,I WAS BO?1 & IF ,I GRADUAT$ ,I'D NEV] AGA9 HAVE TO WORK 9 A FACTORY1 BUT IF ,I WAIT$ ANY LONG] ,I'D BE OLD] ?AN ! PR(ESSORS4 ,I WAS AFRAID4 ,I WAS SURE ?AT A DUNCE LIKE ,I WAS HAD NO PLACE 9 ! UNIV]SITY4 ,I REMEMB]$ ! WOM5 :O HAD LAU<$ AT ME 9 PRISON4 ,I IMAG9$ ?AT ALL ! /UD5TS AT ! UNIV]SITY W\LD LAU< AT ME M]ELY = 5ROLL+4 ,ONE DAY ,V]A TOLD ME %E HAD LE>N$ AB\T A COLLEGE ?AT WAS SPECIFICALLY DESIGN$ = DUNCES & GEESE3 ! COLLEGE = TEA*]S4 ,%E ASSUR$ ME ,I'D HAVE NO TR\BLE BE+ ACCEPT$ !RE4 ,%E WAS RI<T4 ,I APPLI$ & WAS ACCEPT$4 ,I ATT5D$ = F\R YE>S & WAS NO MORE ( A DUNCE ?AN ANYONE ELSE4 ,AT ! 5D ( F\R YE>S ,I WAS A TEA*]4 ,BUT ,I'M GO+ TOO FA/ AGA94 ,DUR+ MY SECOND YE> 9 COLLEGE WE GOT A SURPRISE VISIT FROM ,ADRIAN ,POVR%AN4 ,HE HAD JU/ BE5 RELEAS$ & HE NE$$ A PLACE TO /AY4 ,SUDD5LY MY LITTLE H\SE WAS FULL = ! FIR/ TIME S9CE ! W>4 ,I EXPECT$ Y\ TO BE \R NEXT VISITOR40 

,I TOLD ,JASNA ?AT ,I HADN'T KN[N :]E %E LIV$4 

0,NEI!R DID ,ADRIAN BUT HE F\ND \T EASILY 5\<10 %E SAID4 

,I HAD TO ADMIT ?AT IT HAD NEV] OCCURR$ TO ME TO LOOK H] UP4 ,I ?\<T %E W\LD BE (F5D$4 

,BUT %E LAU<$4 0,I DON'T KN[ :AT W\LD HAVE HAPP5$ IF Y\ HAD COME6 ,V]A /AY$ 9 :AT US$ TO BE MY P>5TS' ROOM4 ,ADRIAN MOV$ 9TO ! LIV+ ROOM4 ,HE ?\<T HE'D TAKE UP ) ,V]A :]E HE'D LEFT (F4 ,! FIR/ ?+ HE DID WAS TO 5ROLL 9 ! UNIV]SITY4 ,I'M NOT ! ONE TO SAY IT1 BUT ,ADRIAN IS REALLY DUMB4 ,HE DIDN'T EV5 SUSPECT ?AT ANY?+ /RANGE WAS GO+ ON4 ,IT WASN'T UNTIL T5 YE>S LAT] ?AT HE F\ND \T AB\T ,V]A'S RELATION%IP ) ,PR(ESSOR ,KR540 

,MIRNA & ,I BEGG$ ,JASNA TO TELL US ! DETAILS ( ,V]A'S ADV5TURES4 

0,I'M SORRY ,I'M JUMP+ >\ND SO MU*10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,I DON'T KN[ :AT TO TELL FIR/4 ,I HAD KN[N AB\T ?IS PR(ESSOR LONG BE=E ,ADRIAN CAME TO /AY ) US4 ,DUR+ H] FIR/ YE> AT ! UNIV]SITY ,V]A HAD TOLD ME AB\T A C]TA9 ,PR(ESSOR ,KR5 :O TAU<T A C\RSE 9 POLITICAL ECONOMY :I* %E ATT5D$4 ,%E DESCRIB$ HIM AS AN 9CR$IBLY SLEEK POLITICIAN :O CAME TO CLASS 9 A SPOTLESS BLACK SUIT4 ,HE LECTUR$ = TWO H\RS AB\T ! TRANS=MATION ( SOCIETY & AB\T REVOLUTIONIZ+ ! LIV+ CONDITIONS ( ! WORK+ PEOPLE4 ,AFT] HIS LECTURE /UD5TS L9$ UP ON ! /REET TO WAT* HIM 5T] HIS *AUFFEUR-DRIV5 LIM\S9E & BE DRIV5 AWAY TO ! GOV]NM5T PALACE4 ,HE WAS A HI< (FICIAL 9 ! /ATE BANK4 ,LAT] ON HE BECAME ! HEAD ( ! BANK4 ,IT'S FUNNY H[ ,V]A'S VIEWS ( ?AT PR(ESSOR *ANG$ DUR+ ?AT YE>4 ,:5 %E FIR/ TOLD ME AB\T HIM %E RIDICUL$ HIM & CALL$ HIM A REVOLUTION>Y :O HAD S]VANTS4 ,GRADUALLY %E TOLD ME LESS & LESS AB\T HIS SLEEKNESS & HIS LIM\S9E & MORE & MORE AB\T HIS POSITION1 HIS IMPORTANCE2 %E ALSO TOLD ME HE WASN'T M>RI$4 ,TWO OR ?REE MON?S BE=E ,ADRIAN RETURN$ %E TOLD ME %E WAS 0MADLY 9 LOVE0 ) ,PR(ESSOR ,KR5'S LIM\S9E & ) HIS P[]4 ,%E ATT5D$ EV]Y LECTURE HE GAVE AT ! UNIV]SITY4 ,%E EV5 W5T TO HE> LECTURES %E'D HE>D BE=E4 ,& ,ADRIAN1 :O WAS TWO YE>S BEH9D H] 9 S*OOL1 SIMPLY ASSUM$ %E WAS SPECIALIZ+ 9 ! ?+S TAU<T BY ,PR(ESSOR ,KR54 ,:5 %E GRADUAT$ %E 5ROLL$ 9 A PROGRAM ( PO/GRADUATE /UDIES UND] ,PR(ESSOR ,KR54 ,AFT] ,I GRADUAT$ ,I GOT MY FIR/ TEA*+ JOB 9 A PRIM>Y S*OOL ON ! O!R SIDE ( ! CITY4 ,BUT MY DOME/IC DRAMA & MY FIR/ TEA*+ JOB 5D$ ABRUPTLY1 BE=E ,I'D TAU<T = HALF A YE>4 ,ALL ?REE ( US W]E SUDD5LY >RE/$40 

,MIRNA WAS /UNN$4 0,Y\ W]E >RE/$ A SECOND TIME8 ,:Y80 %E ASK$4 ,I WAS /UNN$ TOO4 

0,I DON'T KN[ :Y10 ,JASNA SAID1 0& ?AT TIME NO ONE EXPLA9$ IT TO ME4 ,! FIR/ TIME ,I HAD AT LEA/ BE5 DO+ SOME?+4 ,! SECOND TIME ,I WAS DO+ ABSOLUTELY NO?+4 ,?AT HAPP5$ TWELVE YE>S AGO4 ,SUDD5LY EV]Y?+ CAME TO AN 5D & ?AT T]RIBLE NI<TM>E />T$ ALL OV] AGA92 ! SE>*ES1 ! 9VE/IGATIONS1 ! CELLS4 ,& = NO REASON AT ALL4 ,DUR+ MY FIR/ FEW MON?S AS A TEA*] ,I HAD DONE EV]Y?+ EXACTLY AS ,I'D BE5 TAU<T4 ,I HAD GONE TO S*OOL ON TIME4 ,I HAD SPOK5 ONLY TO PEOPLE ,I KNEW & EV5 !N ,I HAD ONLY SAID GOOD MORN+ & GOOD NI<T4 ,9 MY CLASSES ,I HAD REPEAT$ :AT ! TEXTBOOKS SAID & ,I HADN'T ADD$ A WORD ( MY [N EV5 :5 ,I'D KN[N ! TEXTBOOK WAS WRONG40 

,I ASK$ H] :AT %E WAS ACCUS$ (4 

0,ONLY ,GOD KN[S60 %E SAID4 0,!Y ASK$ ME SU* RIDICUL\S QUE/IONS2 !Y ASK$ AB\T ?+S ,I C\LDN'T POSSIBLY KN[ & MIX$ !SE QUE/IONS UP ) QUE/IONS AB\T ?+S ,I C\LDN'T HELP BUT KN[4 ,!Y ASK$ IF ,I KNEW SOME NOTORI\S =EIGN SPY & !N !Y ASK$ IF ,I KNEW MY [N FRI5DS4 ,IT WAS ALL SO /UPID4 ,!Y HAD >RE/$ ME TOGE!R ) ,V]A & ,ADRIAN & !Y ASK$ IF ,I KNEW !M4 ,:5 ,I ADMITT$ KN[+ !M !Y 9SI/$ ,I MU/ KN[ ! SPY & ! :OLE ?+ />T$ ALL OV] AGA94 ,!Y EV5 HAD A WRONG LA/ NAME D[N = ,SOPHIA & ,LUISA BUT ,I DIDN'T CORRECT !IR MI/AKE4 ,! PEOPLE HIR$ TO DO ?OSE 9T]ROGATIONS >E EV5 DUMB] ?AN ,I AM4 ,BUT SUDD5LY1 :5 ,I'D BE5 9 JAIL ONLY TWO DAYS1 ,I WAS RELEAS$60 

,MIRNA & ,I AGA9 EXPRESS$ \R SURPRISE4 

0,YES1 ,I WAS RELEAS$ AFT] TWO DAYS1 ,I NEV] DID F9D \T :Y WE W]E >RE/$1 BUT SEV]AL YE>S LAT] ,I DID LE>N :Y ,I WAS RELEAS$ SO FA/4 ,I OBVI\SLY DIDN'T GO TO A LOT ( TR\BLE TO F9D \T :Y ,I WAS RELEAS$4 ,! SAME (FICIALS :O'D BE5 READY TO *OP MY HEAD (F IF ,I DIDN'T TELL !M ?+S ,I DIDN'T KN[ W]E SUDD5LY SO POLITE1 SO FULL ( SMILES & H&%AKES4 ,!Y B[$ TO ME & APOLOGIZ$4 ,!Y TOLD ME MY >RE/ HAD BE5 A 'MI/AKE4' ,SU* MI/AKES C\LD TAKE PLACE AT ANY TIME SEV]AL TIMES A YE>6 ,BY ! TIME ,I GOT HOME MY FE> CAME BACK4 ,! DAY AFT] MY RELEASE ,I W5T TO MY S*OOL TO TEA*4 ,! HEAD ( ! S*OOL TOLD ME HE HAD LE>N$ AB\T MY >RE/ & HAD ALREADY REPLAC$ ME6 ,& HE SAID !RE W]E NO O!R OP5+S 9 ! S*OOL4 ,I WAS HE>TBROK54 ,I HAD LO/ ! JOB = :I* ,I HAD /UDI$ = F\R YE>S4 ,MY H\SE WAS EMPTY AGA94 ,ADRIAN & ,V]A W]E BO? GONE1 ,GOD KN[S = H[ LONG4 ,I WAS ALL ALONE & ONCE AGA9 ,I DIDN'T KN[ :AT ,I'D DO4 ,AS IF MY MIS]Y WASN'T COMPLETE 5\< ,I HAD A BAD EXP]I5CE A FEW DAYS AFT] ,I WAS RELEAS$4 ,!RE WAS A L\D KNOCK ON ! DOOR4 ,I ?\<T ! POLICE HAD COME TO GET ME AGA94 ,I PE]$ \T ! W9D[ & RECOGNIZ$ ,CLAUDE ,TAMNI*4 ,HE LOOK$ /RANGE4 ,I TREMBL$ AS ,I OP5$ ! DOOR & IMM$IATELY REGRETT$ LETT+ HIM 94 ,HE SLAMM$ ! DOOR %UT & SLAPP$ ME SO H>D ,I FELL TO ! FLOOR4 ,HE ACCUS$ ME ( HAV+ CAUS$ HIS >RE/4 ,I BAWL$ LIKE A BABY4 ,I TOLD HIM ,I'D JU/ BE5 >RE/$ MYSELF = NO REASON AT ALL & ?AT AS A RESULT ,I HAD LO/ MY JOB1 MY ONLY TWO FRI5DS & MY :OLE REASON TO REMA9 ALIVE4 ,HIS ANG] DECREAS$ SOME:AT BECAUSE HE C\LD SEE ,I WAS READY TO DIE RI<T ON ! SPOT :]E ,I LAY ON ! RUG4 ,HE ACCUS$ ME ( HAV+ TOLD !M HE WAS A MEMB] ( A SPY R+ ORGANIZ$ FROM ABROAD4 ,I TOLD HIM !Y'D ASK$ ME AB\T SPIES BUT ,I'D NEV] HAD ANY?+ TO DO ) ANY SPIES2 ,I TOLD HIM !Y'D ASK$ ME IF ,I KNEW HIM & ALL ! O!R PEOPLE ,I KNEW & ( C\RSE ,I TOLD !M ,I KNEW HIM2 !Y KNEW P]FECTLY WELL WE HAD WORK$ TOGE!R4 ,BUT ,CLAUDE 9SI/$ !Y W\LDN'T HAVE RELEAS$ ME SO SOON IF ,I HADN'T TOLD !M HE WAS A SPY4 ,:5 ,I TOLD ,CLAUDE !Y HAD APOLOGIZ$ TO ME = MAK+ A MI/AKE1 HE SAID1 LIT]ALLY1 ',!Y NEV] MAKE MI/AKES4' ,!N :Y1 ,I ASK$ HIM1 DIDN'T HE GO & ASK !M :Y !Y HAD RELEAS$ ME & :AT ,I HAD TOLD !M4 ,I SAID !Y HADN'T EV] SLAPP$ ME ! WAY HE HAD4 ,CLAUDE MUTT]$ ?AT ,I MU/ HAVE TOLD !M BUT HE HELP$ ME UP & APOLOGIZ$4 ,YE>S LAT] ,I LE>N$ :Y ,I WAS RELEAS$ SO SUDD5LY4 ,IT W\LDN'T REALLY HAVE MATT]$ IF ,I'D KN[N AT ! TIME4 ,CLAUDE RU%$ 9 & SLAPP$ ME BE=E ,I EV5 HAD A *ANCE TO SAY HELLO4 ,I DON'T KN[ H[ ,I CONV9C$ ,CLAUDE ,I WAS 9NOC5T4 ,HE SUDD5LY LO/ 9T]E/ 9 MY GUILT OR 9NOC5CE4 ,HE ASK$ IF ,I HAD ANY?+ TO DR9K & !N HE />T$ ASK+ AB\T ! PEOPLE WE US$ TO KN[4 ,HE CONT9U$ DR9K+ UNTIL HE'D SWALL[$ ALMO/ EV]Y BOTTLE ( ALCOHOL ,V]A & ,ADRIAN HAD ACCUMULAT$ 9 MY H\SE DUR+ ALL ! YE>S !Y LIV$ !RE4 ,HE SEEM$ TO P\R IT ALL 9TO A B>REL4 ,! MORE HE DRANK ! MORE HE TOLD ME AB\T HIMSELF4 ,HE HAD BE5 >RE/$ ALONG ) ! RE/ ( US AT ! C>TON PLANT AT ! TIME ( ! C\P & HAD BE5 S5T5C$ TO F\R YE>S4 ,BUT HE WAS RELEAS$ AFT] HE'D S]V$ ONE YE> ( HIS T]M4 ,HE BOA/$ AB\T IT4 ,HE WAS /9K+ DRUNK4 ,HE SAID IT WAS ! EASIE/ ?+ 9 ! WORLD TO BE RELEAS$ FROM PRISON3 ALL Y\ HAD TO DO WAS TO C>RY \T Y\R OBLIGATIONS TO ! /ATE1 LIKE ANY GOOD PATRIOT4 ,I ASK$ :AT HE MEANT BY ?AT & HE TOLD ME ?AT 9 PRISON HE HAD SPI$ ON O!R PRISON]S4 ,AT ! 5D ( HIS FIR/ YE> AN (FICIAL ASK$ HIM IF HE WANT$ AN IMPORTANT JOB4 ,CLAUDE DIDN'T TURN IT D[N4 ,HE SAID ?AT AFT] HE'D TAK5 P>T 9 \/+ ! 5EMY ( ! WORK+ PEOPLE HE WASN'T GO+ TO SP5D F\R YE>S 9 PRISON ONLY TO RETURN TO HIS JOB 9 ! C>TON FACTORY1 & HE C]TA9LY W\LDN'T RETURN N[ ?AT ,M>C WAS HEAD ( ?AT FACTORY4 ,I ASK$ IF HE MEANT \R ,M>C4 ,EXACTLY ! SAME ,M>C1 HE SAID1 & HE CALL$ ,M>C A WORM :O HAD WIGGL$ HIS WAY 9TO ! LEAD]%IP ( ! FACTORY'S P>TY ORGANIZATION4 ,SO ,CLAUDE ACCEPT$ ! IMPORTANT JOB !Y (F]$ HIM4 ,HE BECAME A POLICE SPY4 ,HE DIDN'T DESCRIBE ! WORK HE DID & ,I DIDN'T ASK HIM AB\T IT4 ,HE DID BOA/ ?AT HE WAS SO GOOD AT IT HE WAS PROMOT$ A FEW YE>S LAT]4 ,I CAN'T REMEMB] :AT K9D ( PO/ HE GOT4 ,HE BECAME SOME K9D ( PRISON (FICIAL OR SECURITY ADM9I/RATOR2 HE WAS PUT 9 *>GE ( O!R PEOPLE :O DID ! SPY WORK HE HAD DONE E>LI]4 ,& !N HE WAS SUDD5LY >RE/$1 ACCUS$ ( CONSPIR+ ) =EIGN AG5TS TO OV]?R[ ! /ATE4 ,!Y HAD ASK$ ,CLAUDE1 TOO1 IF HE KNEW ! RE/ ( US1 & :5 HE SAID HE KNEW ME !Y TOLD HIM ?AT ,I1 ,JASNA ,ZBRKOVA1 HAD ADMITT$ HE & ,I HAD BO? BE5 MEMB]S ( ?AT =EIGN ESPIONAGE R+4 ,I ASK$ HIM :Y !Y W\LD HAVE RELEAS$ ME IF ,I HAD ADMITT$ BE+ A =EIGN SPY BUT HE WAS TOO DRUNK TO ANSW] ?AT4 ,HE ONLY RANT$ AB\T EFFICI5CY2 HE SAID ?AT'S ! WAY !Y DO ?+S & ?AT'S ! ONLY EFFICI5T WAY4 ,& !N HE FELL ASLEEP 9 HIS *AIR4 ,I LOCK$ MYSELF 9 MY ROOM4 ,:5 ,I GOT UP ! FOLL[+ MORN+ ,CLAUDE WAS GONE4 ,I HAV5'T SE5 HIM OR HE>D ( HIM S9CE !N4 ,I DON'T KN[ IF ALL ! ?+S HE HAD TOLD ME :ILE HE WAS DRUNK W]E TRUE BUT ONLY ONE ( ?OSE ?+S MATT]$ TO ME4 ,HE HAD TOLD ME ?AT ,M>C ,GLAVNI HAD BECOME AN IMPORTANT P]SON 9 ! C>TON PLANT40 

,Y>A HAD />T$ TO YAWN DUR+ ,JASNA'S N>RATIVE BUT AT ?IS PO9T %E P]K$ UP & ASK$4 0,DO Y\ MEAN ,M>C ,GLAVNI ! GOV]NM5T (FICIAL8 ,WAS ?AT ! ,M>C :O US$ TO BE A FRI5D ( Y\RS80 ,Y>A WAS OBVI\SLY IMPRESS$ BY ! FACT ?AT WE HAD ONCE BE5 ! 0FRI5DS0 ( ?AT CONCEIT$ PROV9CIAL :O HAD CONSID]$ ! RE/ ( US HALFWITS4 

0,HE'S EXACTLY ! SAME ,M>C10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,I W5T TO SEE HIM ! DAY AFT] ,CLAUDE'S SURPRISE VISIT4 ,HE WAS !RE ALL RI<T -- 9 ,MR4 ,ZAGAD'S (FICE6 ,HE RECOGNIZ$ ME1 BUT NOT AS A =M] FRI5D4 ,HE DIDN'T REMEMB] ME AS ! P]SON :O HAD HELP$ HIM LE>N HIS JOB AT ?AT V]Y PLANT1 AS ! P]SON :O HAD REPAIR$ HIS BLUND]S4 ,I'M SURE IF Y\ ASK$ HIM HE W\LDN'T ADMIT ?AT ,Y>O/AN & ,I HAD EV] BE5 HIS FRI5DS4 ,HE RECOGNIZ$ ME ONLY AS SOMEONE HE HAD SE5 BE=E1 SOMEONE :OSE NAME HE KNEW4 ,& ?AT WAS ALL4 ,HE WASN'T UNK9D4 ,I DON'T WANT TO SUGGE/ ?AT4 ,HE WAS EV]Y BIT AS CORDIAL & DEC5T & C\RTE\S & DI/ANT AS ,MR4 ,ZAGAD HAD BE5 ! FIR/ TIME ,I HAD WALK$ 9TO ?AT V]Y (FICE N9ETE5 YE>S E>LI]4 ,! SC5E WAS AN EXACT REPETITION ( ! E>LI] SC5E1 ONLY ,ZAGAD'S ROLE WAS BE+ PLAY$ BY ! BOY WOND] FROM ! PROV9CES :OM ,LUISA HAD LIK$ SO WELL4 ,I ASK$ IF !RE W]E ANY OP5+S4 ,M>C SAID !RE JU/ HAPP5$ TO BE ONE OP5+ & !Y W\LD BE V]Y HAPPY TO 'HAVE ME4' ,MR4 ,ZAGAD C\LDN'T HAVE SAID IT ANY DIFF]5TLY4 ,! ONLY DIFF]5CE WAS ?AT ?IS TIME ,I DIDN'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE = MY LACK ( EXP]I5CE4 ,?IS TIME ,I HAD 9F9ITELY MORE EXP]I5CE ?AN ! MAN :O WAS HIR+ ME & ,I DIDN'T NE$ ,LUISA TO TELL ME ,I C\LD C>RY \T MY TASK MORE EFFICI5TLY )\T ! BOSS4 ,IT WAS !N ?AT ,I REALIZ$ ,LUISA HAD BE5 WRONG & ,JAN HAD BE5 RI<T4 ,)\T ! RE/ ( Y\ >\ND ME ,I HAT$ ! WORK 9 ?AT PLANT4 ,IF ,I HADN'T HAD TO SUPPORT MYSELF ?AT WAY ,I'D NEV] HAVE RETURN$ TO ?AT BOR+ R\T9E1 EV5 IF ALL ! ,MR4 ,ZAGADS & ,M>C ,GLAVNIS HAD BE5 \/$4 ,JAN WAS RI<T4 ,?OSE EI<T H\R DAYS W]E ! NE>E/ ?+ TO PRISON4 ,HE'D ALWAYS OBJECT$ TO ,LUISA'S COMM5TS BY SAY+ ?AT ONLY AN IDIOT OR A BRA9LESS ME*ANICAL SLAVE W\LD RETURN TO HIS PRISON CELL AFT] ALL4 ! GATES W]E OP5$ & ALL ! GU>DS W]E GONE4 ,I WASN'T AT ALL AS PLEAS$ ) MYSELF :5 ,M>C HIR$ ME AS ,I HAD BE5 :5 ,MR4 ,ZAGAD HAD HIR$ ME4 ,I HAT$ EV]Y M9UTE ( IT4 ,AT NI<T ,I DREAM$ ( GO+ BACK TO TEA*+4 ,BUT ,I ONLY DREAM$ AB\T IT1 & EV]Y DAY ,I W5T BACK TO WORK !RE4 ,I'M SU* A TIMID P]SON4 ,I /AY$ 9 ?AT PLANT = ?REE MORE YE>S4 ,MY BODY & MY M9D GOT NUMB4 ,I BECAME :AT ,JAN HAD DESCRIB$3 A BRA9LESS1 ME*ANICAL SLAVE4 ,I WASN'T 9 ANY WAY DI/+UI%ABLE FROM MY AL>M CLOCK4 ,I W5T (F AT ! SAME H\R EV]Y MORN+1 W\ND MYSELF UP EV]Y NI<T & W5T (F AGA9 ! FOLL[+ MORN+4 ,DUR+ ?OSE ?REE YE>S ,M>C ROSE TO YET ANO!R PO/4 ,HE BECAME A MEMB] ( ! CITY PLANN+ COMMISSION4 ,HE HAD ! P[] TO HELP ME F9D ANO!R TEA*+ JOB SIMPLY BY TALK+ 9TO HIS TELEPHONE4 ,I DON'T KN[ :]E ,I F\ND ! N]VE TO GO 9TO HIS (FICE ONE DAY TO ASK HIS HELP 9 TRANSF]R+ ME TO A TEA*+ JOB4 ,I TOLD HIM H[ MANY YE>S ,I'D SP5T PREP>+ TO BECOME A TEA*]4 ,& ,I DON'T KN[ :]E HE F\ND ! N]VE TO TURN ME D[N4 ,NO1 HE SAID4 ,)\T ANY EXPLANATION4 ,I'M SORRY COMRADE1 BUT6 ,= ! FIR/ TIME 9 MY LIFE ,I WANT$ TO DO SOME?+ VIOL5T4 ,I HAD A /RONG DESIRE TO PU% ! DESK 9TO HIS BELLY -- ,ZAGAD'S OLD1 HEAVY DESK4 ,I'M PR\D ( :AT ,I DID AFT] ?AT4 ,I WALK$ \T ( HIS (FICE1 ?R\< ! WORK%OP1 \T TO ! /REET & /RAI<T TO MY H\SE4 ,I HAV5'T ONCE RETURN$ TO ?AT PLANT S9CE4 ,SEV]AL ( ! WORK]S CAME TO MY H\SE TO ASK IF ,I'D BE5 FIR$4 ,I TOLD !M ,I HAD SIMPLY QUIT BECAUSE ,I'D HAD 5\<4 ,& EV]Y ONE ( !M CONGRATULAT$ ME = MY C\RAGE4 ,IT WAS ! ONLY TIME 9 MY LIFE :5 ,I WAS CONGRATULAT$ = MY C\RAGE40 

,I ASK$ ,JASNA H[ 9 ! WORLD ,M>C HAD BECOME SO IMPORTANT 9 ! C>TON PLANT4 

0,! SAME WAY WE ALL BECAME :AT WE >E N[10 %E SAID4 0,HE />T$ TO RISE ! FIR/ DAY HE TOOK P>T 9 ! POLITICAL DISCUSSIONS WE HAD TW5TY YE>S AGO1 :5 HE ELABORAT$ ?OSE S*EMES ,LUISA ADMIR$ SO MU*4 ,! WORK]S AT ! PLANT W]E FAMILI> ) EV]Y /EP ( HIS RISE2 !Y TOLD ME ALL AB\T HIM DUR+ ?OSE ?REE MORE YE>S ,I SP5T !RE4 ,SOME TIME LAT] ,TITUS ,ZABRAN TOLD ME SOME FUNNY ?+S AB\T HIM4 ,M>C TOO WAS >RE/$ TW5TY YE>S AGO4 ,HE WAS RELEAS$ AFT] HALF A YE> 9 JAIL4 ,I'VE NEV] ALL[$ MYSELF TO WOND] :Y HE WAS RELEAS$ SO SOON4 ,?AT ONLY LEADS TO WOND]+ :Y MO/ ( ! PEOPLE >\ND ME W]5'T >RE/$ AT ALL1 & ONCE Y\ />T ?9K+ LIKE ?AT NO?+ MAKES ANY S5SE4 ,AFT] HIS RELEASE ,M>C APPLI$ = HIS OLD JOB AT ! C>TON PLANT & HE WAS TURN$ D[N BY ! NEW (FICIALS4 ,SOME ( ! WORK]S ,I WORK$ ) LAT] HAD BE5 !RE AT ! TIME ( HIS REJECTION & !Y TOLD ME H[ SURPRIS$ !Y W]E :5 HE TURN$ UP AT ! PLANT AGA9 SEV]AL MON?S LAT]4 ,!Y ?\<T HE MU/ HAVE HAD IMPORTANT CONTACTS ALREADY !N1 SO SOON AFT] HIS RELEASE FROM PRISON4 ,?IS MY/]Y WAS CL>IFI$ = ME BY ,TITUS SOMETIME AFT] ,I WALK$ \T ( ,M>C'S (FICE4 ,AFT] BE+ TURN$ D[N BY ! PLANT (FICIALS ,M>C LE>N$ ?AT ,TITUS HAD SOME K9D ( TRADE UNION PO/4 ,HE VISIT$ ,TITUS & ) A S+LE TELEPHONE CALL ,TITUS GOT ,M>C HIR$ AT ! C>TON PLANT4 ,?IS SAME ,M>C REFUS$ TO DO ?AT MU* = ME SEV]AL YE>S LAT]4 ,AS SOON AS HE HAD HIS OLD JOB BACK ,M>C />T$ TO ATT5D NI<T CLASSES AT ! UNIV]SITY4 ,IT WAS AN $UCATIONAL PROGRAM PAID = BY ! UNION TO GIVE RANK-&-FILE WORK]S DIPLOMAS ) :I* !Y C\LD APPLY = PO/S 9 ! UNION BUREAUCRACY40 

,I COMM5T$ ?AT ,M>C MU/ HAVE ATT5D$ A PROGRAM SIMIL> 9 PURPOSE & CONT5T TO ! PROGRAM ( ! 9/ITUTION :]E Y\ TEA*4 

0,& ,M>C C]TA9LY US$ IT TO HIS FULLE/ ADVANTAGE10 ,JASNA CONT9U$4 0,HE WAS A GOOD /UD5T AS HE'D ALWAYS BE54 ,HE 5ROLL$ 9 A C\RSE 9 ECONOMIC PLANN+1 :I* MU/ HAVE SUIT$ HIS TAL5TS P]FECTLY4 ,AFT] ATT5D+ ! C\RSE = A YE> HE WAS APPO9T$ TO ! PLANT C\NCIL & GOT HIS [N (FICE4 ,?AT WAS ALL HE NE$$4 ,FROM ?AT PO9T ON HE M]ELY ROSE4 ,HE CONT9U$ TO BE PAID BY ! C>TON PLANT AL?\< HE NO LONG] DID ANY WORK2 HE SP5T HIS DAYS 9 HIS (FICE /UDY+ = HIS C\RSES4 ,HE DID SO WELL 9 HIS /UDIES ?AT HE WAS APPO9T$ P>TY SECRET>Y ( ! PLANT C\NCIL4 ,?IS APPO9TM5T AUTOMATICALLY MADE HIM A MEMB] ( ! TRADE UNION C\NCIL4 ,:5 HE F9I%$ HIS C\RSE HE HAD HI<] ACADEMIC CR$5TIALS ?AN ANYONE ELSE 9 ! PLANT & HE ROSE YET ANO!R NOT*2 ?IS TIME HE WAS 'ELECT$' HEAD ( ! PLANT'S P>TY ORGANIZATION4 ,HE SP5T ! NEXT TWO YE>S 9SIDE HIS (FICE1 WRIT+ A DISS]TATION BAS$ ON /ATI/ICS COLLECT$ = HIM BY M9OR UNION (FICIALS 9 ! PLANT4 ,HE BECAME ,DR4 ,GLAVNI4 ,:AT HAPP5$ TO HIM NEXT WAS FUNNY TO ! WORK]S :O TOLD ME AB\T IT4 ,LATE ONE NI<T A C> PULL$ UP 9 FRONT ( ,DR4 ,GLAVNI'S H\SE1 TWO M5 KNOCK$ AT HIS DOOR1 & !Y >RE/$ HIM EXACTLY ! SAME WAY !Y W\LD HAVE >RE/$ ANY ORD9>Y SABOTEUR4 ,BUT UNLIKE ORD9>Y SABOTEURS1 ,DR4 ,GLAVNI WAS IMM$IATELY RELEAS$4 ,I WAS TOLD ?AT ! REGIONAL P>TY SECRET>Y P]SONALLY TOOK A TRIP TO ! PRISON TO APOLOGIZE TO ,DR4 ,GLAVNI = ! MI/AKE4 ,AFT] HIS RELEASE ,M>C WASN'T ONLY RE9/AT$ 9 ALL HIS PO/S4 ,HE ALSO BECAME A REPRES5TATIVE 9 ! CITY PLANN+ COMMISSION4 ,IT WAS !N ?AT ,I W5T 9TO HIS (FICE & ASK$ HIS HELP 9 TRANSF]R+ ME TO A TEA*+ JOB4 ,I HAV5'T SE5 HIM S9CE ?AT DAY BUT TWO PEOPLE :O /ILL WORK !RE HAVE *ILDR5 9 ! S*OOL :]E ,I TEA* & !Y'VE KEPT ME 9=M$ AB\T HIS CONT9U+ SUCCESSES4 ,%ORTLY AFT] ,I WALK$ \T ( HIS (FICE NEV] TO SEE HIM AGA91 ,DR4 ,GLAVNI BECAME G5]AL MANAG] ( ! C>TON PLANT4 ,! FOLL[+ YE> HE BECAME A MEMB] ( ! /ATE PLANN+ COMMISSION & ALSO ( ! =EIGN TRADE COMMISSION4 ,ONLY LA/ YE> ,I READ 9 A NEWSPAP] ?AT HE HAD BECOME A MEMB] ( ! C5TRAL COMMITTEE ( ! /ATE PLANN+ COMMISSION4 ,TODAY Y\ CAN KEEP UP ) HIS TITLES SIMPLY BY READ+ ! NEWSPAP]S4 ,HE'S M5TION$ AT LEA/ ONCE A DAY40 

,WE ASK$ ,JASNA IF %E HAD GOTT5 A TEA*+ JOB ON H] [N AFT] %E LEFT ! C>TON PLANT4 

0,I DIDN'T EV5 TRY10 %E SAID4 0,I AGA9 DID ABSOLUTELY NO?+ = SEV]AL MON?S4 ,I HAD GR[N SO US$ TO SP5D+ MON?S AT HOME DO+ NO?+40 

0,Y\ REALLY DID ABSOLUTELY NO?+80 ,Y>A ASK$ ) DISBELIEF4 0,DID Y\ JU/ SIT HOME & />E80 

0,I MEAN NO?+ \TSIDE ( MY H\SE10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,NO1 ,I DIDN'T SIT & />E4 ,I DIDN'T FEEL P>TICUL>LY SORRY = MYSELF ANY MORE4 ,AL?\< :AT ,I DID DO AM\NTS TO NE>LY NO?+4 ,I HAVE A WEAKNESS = READ+ NOVELS1 ESPECIALLY LONG NOVELS1 & ! P]IODS :5 ,I DID NO?+ W]E 9 MANY WAYS ! FULLE/ P]IODS 9 MY LIFE4 ,?OSE W]E ! MON?S :5 ,I LIV$ ALL ! POSSIBLE LIVES ,I WAS NEV] GO+ TO BE ABLE TO LEAD 9 REAL LIFE4 

,DUR+ ?AT TIME ,I WAS VAGUELY AW>E ?AT ,V]A HAD BE5 RELEAS$4 ,I WOND]$ :Y %E DIDN'T VISIT ME1 BUT ,I MADE NO EF=T TO TRY TO SEE H]4 ,I JU/ /AY$ HOME & READ4 ,MY READ+ SPREE CAME TO AN 5D :5 ,I GOT ANO!R SURPRISE VISIT4 ,TITUS ,ZABRAN CAME TO SEE ME4 ,WE HADN'T SE5 EA* O!R 9 MORE ?AN T5 YE>S4 ,HE HAD REC5TLY BE5 RELEAS$ FROM PRISON4 ,I ?9K HIS >RE/ HAD BE5 ANO!R MI/AKE4 ,HE WORK$ 9 ! TRADE UNION BUREAUCRACY & HE SOMEH[ LE>N$ ?AT ,I HAD QUIT MY JOB AT ! C>TON PLANT4 ,I LE>N$ FROM ,TITUS ?AT ,JAN HAD DISAPPE>$1 ?AT Y\ W]E /ILL 9 PRISON1 & ?AT ,MIRNA & Y\R TWO DAU<T]S LIV$ 9 MY [N NEI<BORHOOD40 

0,BUT Y\ NEV] CAME TO SEE US10 ,Y>A SAID REPROA*FULLY4 

0,I ALWAYS 9T5D$ TO VISIT10 ,JASNA TOLD US4 0,BUT ,I'M SU* A TIMID P]SON4 ,I WAS AFRAID4 ,TITUS WAS %OCK$ :5 ,I TOLD HIM ,I JU/ /AY$ HOME & READ4 ,HE ASK$ :Y ,I HAD WALK$ \T ( ,M>C'S (FICE4 ,:5 ,I TOLD HIM1 HE ASK$ ME ) ! S]I\SNESS ( AN OLD (FICIAL :AT K9D ( WORK ,I'D LIKE TO DO4 ,I TOLD HIM ,I WANT$ TO TEA* AGA94 ,TWO DAYS LAT] HE VISIT$ ME AGA9 & TOLD ME !RE WAS AN OP5+ = ME 9 ! ELEM5T>Y S*OOL 9 MY [N NEI<BORHOOD4 ,I WAS OV]JOY$4 ,I PREP>$ A FEA/ = HIM4 ,I WAS SO GRATEFUL TO HIM4 ,HE VISIT$ ME QUITE FREQU5TLY AFT] ?AT4 ,BUT ,I C\LDN'T GET ANY CLOS] TO HIM ?AN :5 WE'D WORK$ TOGE!R YE>S E>LI]4 ,?IS TIME IT WASN'T BECAUSE ,I HAD TO COMPETE AGA9/ ! 9COMP>ABLE ,LUISA ,NA*ALO1 BUT BECAUSE ,TITUS HAD GR[N SO DULL1 SO ROBOT-LIKE1 SO (FICIAL4 ,HE WAS H>DLY MORE HUMAN ?AN AN (FICE DESK4 ,I CONT9UALLY ASK$ HIM AB\T HIS LIFE1 BUT UNLIKE EV]YONE ELSE ,I KN[ HE HAD NO DESIRE AT ALL TO TALK AB\T HIMSELF4 ,IT WAS LIKE PULL+ HIS TEE? TO GET HIM TO TELL ANY DETAILS4 ,HE DIDN'T TELL ME A S+LE ?+ ,I DIDN'T SPECIFICALLY ASK HIM4 ,?AT'S :Y ,I KN[ ONLY FRAGM5TS ( HIS LIFE4 ,AFT] WE W]E ALL DRIV5 FROM ! C>TON PLANT 9 SO MANY DIFF]5T DIRECTIONS1 ,TITUS GOT A PO/ 9 ! TRADE UNION4 ,IT WAS ?R\< ?IS PO/ ?AT HE WAS ABLE TO HELP ,M>C GET REHIR$ AT ! C>TON PLANT4 ,HE TOLD ME HE HAD BE5 IMPRISON$ = 'COSMOPOLITANISM1' :ATEV] ?AT WAS4 ,! SECOND TIME HE WAS >RE/$ HE WAS *>G$ ) 'REVISIONISM4' ,I NEV] HE>D ( ! ?+S HE WAS ACCUS$ (4 ,HE SEEM$ EXTREMELY LONELY & TOLD ME HE HAD NO FRI5DS AT ALL4 ,I C\LD SEE :Y2 HE WAS AS SOCIABLE AS A /ONE4 ,AB\T F\R YE>S AGO1 :5 ,I HAD BE5 TEA*+ AGA9 = OV] A YE>1 AFT] ,Y>A HAD ALREADY 5ROLL$ 9 \R S*OOL1 ,TITUS TOLD ME HE HAD SE5 ,ADRIAN1 :O HAD JU/ BE5 RELEAS$ FROM HIS SECOND T]M TWO YE>S BE=E Y\R RELEASE4 ,ADRIAN HAD VISIT$ ,TITUS TO ASK HIS HELP F9D+ A JOB4 ,TITUS F\ND ,ADRIAN A JOB 9 ! TRADE UNION C\NCIL4 ,TITUS DIDN'T KN[ :]E ,ADRIAN WAS LIV+ BUT HE TOLD ME :]E HIS (FICE WAS4 ,I WAS ANNOY$ BY ! FACT ?AT ,ADRIAN HADN'T COME TO SEE ME AFT] HIS RELEASE4 ,I HADN'T SE5 HIM S9CE WE'D BE5 >RE/$ AT MY H\SE SIX YE>S E>LI]4 ,I GOT A SUB/ITUTE TO REPLACE ME 9 S*OOL ONE DAY & W5T TO HIS (FICE4 ,ADRIAN & HIS (FICE W]E BO? T]RIBLY DEPRESS+4 ,ADRIAN HAD GR[N AS SK9NY AS A SKELETON4 ,D>K R+S SURR\ND$ HIS EYES4 ,HIS FACE & HIS H&S SEEM$ TO CONSI/ ONLY ( SK9 & BONES4 ,& HIS (FICE WAS JU/ AS SP>SE AS HE WAS4 ,IT WAS L>G] ?AN ! AV]AGE PRISON CELL4 ,IT HAD A DESK & A *AIR4 ,BUT ?AT WAS ALL4 ,!RE WAS NO?+ ON ! WALLS1 NO?+ ON ! FLOOR1 NO?+ ON ! DESK4 ,WE %OOK H&S4 ,I C\LDN'T KEEP MYSELF FROM ASK+ :AT 9 ! WORLD HE DID 9 ?AT ROOM4 ,LOOK+ >\ND AT ! B>E WALLS HE SAID1 ',?IS IS MY JOB4 ,I'M A RESE>*]4' ,I ASK$ HIM EXACTLY :AT ,Y>A JU/ ASK$ ME3 DID HE JU/ SIT !RE & />E AT ! WALLS8 ,DIDN'T HE EV] READ8 ,HE PULL$ ! SPORTS SECTION ( A NEWSPAP] \T ( ! TOP DRAW] ( HIS DESK TO %[ ME ?AT HE DID READ4 ,I C\LD SEE ?AT !RE WAS NO?+ ELSE 9 ?AT DESK DRAW]4 ,AS IF TO EXPLA9 HIS SITUATION TO ME1 HE TOLD ME HE WAS WAIT+4 ,WAIT+ = :AT8 ,I ASK$4 ,ALL DAY LONG EV]Y DAY8 ,HE REM9D$ ME ?AT BE=E HIS >RE/ HE HAD BE5 ON ! V]GE ( F9I%+ HIS /UDIES AT ! UNIV]SITY4 ,IF HE HAD TAK5 ?REE MORE EXAMS & SUBMITT$ ONE PAP] HE W\LD HAVE F9I%$4 ,HIS PAP] WAS WRITT5 & HE WAS WAIT+ TO TAKE ! EXAMS4 ,AFT] ?AT HE'D GET ANO!R APPO9TM5T4 ,ADRIAN WAS SIMPLY SITT+ 9 ?AT (FICE WAIT+ = ! APPO9TM5T4 ,HE LIT]ALLY HAD NO?+ TO DO !RE4 ,I SP5T MO/ ( ! DAY 9 HIS (FICE4 ,I ASK$ HIM :Y HE HADN'T COME TO SEE ME AFT] HE WAS RELEAS$4 ,I'D GLADLY HAVE PUT HIM UP 9 ! SAME ROOM :]E HE'D /AY$ BE=E4 ,HE SAID HE C\LDN'T /& ANY?+ ?AT REM9D$ HIM ( ,V]A4 ,& !N1 CALMLY1 ALMO/ ME*ANICALLY1 HE />T$ TELL+ ME :AT HAD HAPP5$ TO HIM AFT] HE WAS >RE/$4 ,I C\LDN'T BELIEVE :AT HE WAS TELL+ ME1 AL?\< IT CL>IFI$ :Y ,I HAD BE5 RELEAS$ SO QUICKLY &4 :Y ,I'D BE5 TOLD ,I'D BE5 >RE/$ BY MI/AKE4 ,ADRIAN HAD ALSO BE5 ACCUS$ ( HAV+ CONTACTS ) A =EIGN SPY R+ & HE TOO HAD BE5 ASK$ IF HE KNEW ! PEOPLE WE ALL KNEW1 9CLUD+ ,V]A & ,M>C4 ,( C\RSE HE ADMITT$ KN[+ !M4 ,HE WAS S5T5C$ TO TWO YE>S4 ,AT ! 5D ( ! TWO YE>S1 9/EAD ( BE+ RELEAS$1 HE WAS SWEPT 9TO ANO!R TRIAL4 ,I WAS REM9D$ ( ! /ORY A WOMAN HAD TOLD ME DUR+ MY FIR/ PRISON T]M3 AS SOON AS ONE T]M 5D$ A LONG] ONE BEGAN4 ,?AT WAS :AT HAPP5$ TO ,ADRIAN4 ,HE WAS 9T]ROGAT$ AGA94 ,?IS TIME ! 9T]ROGATORS WANT$ HIM TO D5Y HE HAD EV] KN[N ,V]A ,NEIS OR ,M>C ,GLAVNI & TO SAY HE HAD LI$ AT ! FIR/ TRIAL40 

,I TOLD ,JASNA ,I'D HAD SIMIL> EXP]I5CES DUR+ MY SECOND PRISON T]M4 ,AT ONE TRIAL !Y ASK$ ME TO ADMIT ,I KNEW ALL MY FRI5DS & ,I WAS S5T5C$ TO EI<T YE>S BECAUSE ,I REFUS$ TO ADMIT ,I HAD EV] KN[N ANY ( !M4 ,I ?\<T ,I'D GET !M 9TO TR\BLE IF ,I ADMITT$ KN[+ !M4 ,AT ! TIME ,I DIDN'T KN[ MO/ ( !M HAD ALREADY BE5 >RE/$4 ,SOME TWO YE>S LAT] AN 9T]ROGATOR ASK$ ME TO SIGN A PAP] TO ! EFFECT ?AT ,I HAD NEV] KN[N ,V]A OR ,M>C4 ,I OBVI\SLY SIGN$ IT S9CE ,I HAD ALREADY TOLD !M ,I DIDN'T KN[ !M2 ,I ?\<T ,I C\LDN'T POSSIBLY H>M PEOPLE BY ADMITT+ ,I HAD NEV] KN[N !M4 

0,BUT ?AT WASN'T ,ADRIAN'S SITUATION10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,FIR/ ( ALL HE1 ,V]A & ,I HAD BE5 >RE/$ TOGE!R SO ! 9T]ROGATORS W\LD HAVE KN[N P]FECTLY WELL ?AT HE WAS LY+ :5 HE SAID HE DIDN'T KN[ ,V]A4 ,SECONDLY HE WAS SURE !Y W]E TRY+ TO TRAP HIM OR ,V]A 9TO CONTRADICT+ EA* O!R SO AS TO BUILD A CASE AGA9/ ONE ( !M4 ,HE ?\<T HE WAS PROTECT+ ,V]A BY REFUS+ TO SIGN ?AT PAP]4 ,HE TOLD ME HE WAS COMPLETELY DUMBF\ND$ BY ! TRIAL4 ,DUR+ HIS REMA9+ F\R YE>S 9 PRISON HE C\LDN'T FIGURE \T :AT HAD HAPP5$4 ,IT ALL BECAME CLE> ONLY AFT] HE WAS RELEAS$1 :5 HE F9ALLY LOCAT$ ,V]A'S (FICE & SAW ! PLAQUE ON H] DOOR4 ,AT ?AT TRIAL HE WAS ACCUS$ ( P]JURY1 9T5TIONAL DEFAMATION ( ! *>ACT]S ( TWO IMPORTANT /ATE (FICIALS4 ,! PROSECUTOR RAIL$ AGA9/ ,ADRIAN AS A KN[N =EIGN AG5T :O HAD TRI$ TO IMPLICATE ,V]A ,NEIS & ,M>C ,GLAVNI 9 HIS SPY R+4 ,ADRIAN WAS SUPPOS$ TO HAVE CAUS$ ! >RE/ ( TWO COMRADES ABOVE SUSPICION BY CLAIM+ !Y W]E MEMB]S ( HIS GR\P4 ,! PROSECUTOR TOLD ! C\RT ?AT ,COMRADE ,V]A ,NEIS1 FULL PR(ESSOR ( POLITICAL ECONOMY1 HAD BE5 CLE>$ ( ?IS MALICI\S SL&] ?R\< ! P]SONAL 9T]V5TION ( ,PR(ESSOR ,DR4 ,KR51 HEAD ( ! /ATE BANK2 ,COMRADE ,M>C ,GLAVNI1 HEAD ( ! P>TY ORGANIZATION ( ! C>TON FACTORY & REPRES5TATIVE ( ! CITY I PLANN+ COMMISSION1 HAD BE5 CLE>$ ?R\< ! P]SONAL 9T]V5TION ( ! HEAD ( ! /ATE PLANN+ COMMISSION4 ,= ?IS MALICI\S SL&] ,ADRIAN WAS S5T5C$ TO F\R MORE YE>S 9 PRISON4 ,DUR+ ALL ?OSE YE>S HE WRE/L$ ) ! SIGNIFICANCE ( ?AT TRIAL4 ,ALL HE FIGUR$ \T WAS ?AT ,M>C & ,V]A MU/ HAVE BE5 RELEAS$ & ?AT HIS D5IAL ?AT HE HAD KN[N !M MI<T HAVE BE5 NE$$ TO EXP$ITE !IR RELEASE2 HE SAID IF HE'D KN[N ?AT DUR+ ! 9T]ROGATION HE W\LD GLADLY HAVE SIGN$ ! PAP]4 ,EV]Y?+ F9ALLY CLE>$ UP AFT] HE WAS RELEAS$4 ,HE W5T TO ! UNIV]SITY & LOOK$ = ,V]A ,NEIS4 ,HE WAS TOLD !RE WAS NO SU* P]SON4 ,SOMEONE TOLD HIM TO ASK 9 ! RECTOR'S (FICE4 ,IMAG9E HIS SURPRISE :5 HE SAW ! PLAQUE ON ! DOOR3 RECTOR ( ! FACULTY ( POLITICAL ECONOMY1 ,PR(4 ,DR4 ,V]A ,KR5A6 ,ADRIAN !N REMEMB]$ ! NAME ( ! BANK (FICIAL :O HAD P]SONALLY 9T]V5$ TO RELEASE ,V]A40 

,Y>A WAS IMPRESS$ ONCE AGA94 0,DO Y\ MEAN ,V]A ,KR5A ! M9I/]8 ,WAS ?AT ! ,V]A ,NEIS Y\ US$ TO KN[80 

0,%E WASN'T A M9I/] YET :5 ,ADRIAN F\ND H] (FICE10 ,JASNA SAID4 0,ADRIAN TOLD ME HE HESITANTLY W5T 94 ,!RE W]E ?REE SECRET>IES !RE4 ,!Y ASK$ IF HE HAD AN APPO9TM5T ) ! RECTOR4 ,HE TOLD !M HE DIDN'T WANT TO SEE ! RECTOR2 HE ONLY WANT$ TO LE>N SOME?+ AB\T H] BECAUSE HE HAD KN[N H] ONCE1 9 HI< S*OOL1 AS ,V]A ,NEIS2 HE SAID HE WANT$ TO KN[ H[ %E HAD COME TO H] PRES5T POSITION & ASK$ IF !Y W\LD BE WILL+ TO TELL HIM4 ,ONE ( ! SECRET>IES LEFT ! (FICE ) HIM & !Y W5T TO A C(FEE %OP4 ,%E TOLD HIM %E HAD BE5 ,V]A'S CLASSMATE 9 ! UNIV]SITY & KNEW EXACTLY H[ ,V]A HAD BECOME RECTOR ( ! UNIV]SITY4 ,FROM H] ,ADRIAN LE>N$ ?AT ,V]A HAD BEGUN H] AFFAIR ) ,PR(ESSOR ,KR5 ALREADY DUR+ ! DAYS :5 ,ADRIAN & ,V]A HAD LIV$ HAPPILY AT MY H\SE4 ,ADRIAN DIDN'T TELL ! SECRET>Y HE'D KN[N ,V]A AFT] HI< S*OOL4 ,%E TOLD ,ADRIAN %E & ,V]A HAD GRADUAT$ TOGE!R & AFT] GRADUATION %E HAD GOTT5 ! JOB AS ! RECTOR'S SECRET>Y & HAD BE5 ON ?AT JOB EV] S9CE4 ,BUT :5 ,V]A GRADUAT$ %E 5ROLL$ 9 A PO/GRADUATE C\RSE 9 POLITICAL ECONOMY SO AS TO BE CLOSE TO ! BANK (FICIAL1 ,PR(ESSOR ,KR54 ,V]A & ! PR(ESSOR BECAME 9SEP>ABLE DUR+ ! DAY :ILE1 ACCORD+ TO ! SECRET>Y1 ,V]A RETURN$ TO ANO!R LOV] EV]Y NI<T4 ,! SECRET>Y TOLD ,ADRIAN ?AT ,V]A'S C>E] WAS ALMO/ CUT %ORT SOON AFT] H] PO/GRADUATE PROGRAM />T$1 BECAUSE A =EIGN SPY HAD CLAIM$ ?AT %E WAS A MEMB] ( HIS SPY R+4 ,%E WAS >RE/$ & ,KR5 HIMSELF HAD TO 9T]V5E TO GET H] RELEAS$4 ,MY HA/Y RELEASE WAS SUDD5LY EXPLA9$4 ,V]A MU/ HAVE ASK$ ,KR5 TO 9T]V5E = ME AS WELL4 ,ADRIAN WAS ANNOY$ :5 ,I TOLD HIM ?IS1 BECAUSE HE HAD BE5 ! ONE :O'D HAD TO SUFF] BECAUSE ( ,V]A'S RELEASE4 ,HE HAD BE5 LEFT 9 JAIL SO AS NOT TO BE 9 ,V]A'S WAY4 ,! SECRET>Y HAD TOLD HIM ?AT ,V]A HAD PROTE/$ TO ! POLICE = >RE/+ H]4 ,M>C APP>5TLY DID ! SAME ?+4 ,! WAY ! POLICE CLE>$ !MSELVES ( !SE MI/AKES WAS TO PUT ALL ! BLAME ON ,ADRIAN1 SLAPP+ ANO!R F\R YE>S ON HIM = HAV+ IMPLICAT$ ,V]A & ,M>C & !N ANN\NC+ !Y HAD DISCOV]$ ! CAUSE = !IR MI/AKE4 ,! WOMAN TOLD ,ADRIAN ?AT AS SOON AS ,KR5 GOT ,V]A \T ( PRISON %E AB&ON$ H] LOV] & MOV$ 9TO ! PR(ESSOR'S H\SE4 ,FROM ?AT PO9T ON %E WALK$ ON A GOLD5 C>PET4 ,%E F9I%$ H] /UDIES UND] HIM & BECAME ,DR4 ,V]A ,NEIS ! SAME YE> :5 HE BECAME ! HEAD ( ! /ATE BANK4 ,! FOLL[+ YE> %E BECAME PR(ESSOR ( POLITICAL ECONOMY2 SU* A QUICK J\RNEY FROM /UD5T TO FULL PR(ESSOR WAS UNPREC$5T$4 ,%E WAS PROBABLY ! Y\NGE/ PR(ESSOR 9 ! UNIV]SITY'S HI/ORY & ONE ( ! FEW WOM5 ON ! UNIV]SITY'S REGUL> TEA*+ /AFF4 ,! SECRET>Y SAID ALL ! M5 PR(ESSORS W]E *>M$1 !RE WAS A GREAT DEAL ( TALK AB\T ! EQUALITY ( WOM5 9 ALL FIELDS ( SOCIAL 5DEAVOR1 & ALL ( IT WAS A MUTUAL %AM4 ,A YE> LAT] ,V]A M>RI$ ! PR(ESSOR & %ORTLY AFT] ! M>RIAGE ,PR(4 ,DR4 ,V]A ,NEIS ,KR5A BECAME ASSI/ANT RECTOR ( ! FACULTY ( POLITICAL ECONOMY4 ,& !N ! RECTOR ( ! UNIV]SITY WAS >RE/$ 9 ! MIDDLE ( A NI<T BY ! SECURITY POLICE4 ,?AT HAD HAPP5$ ONLY A YE> BE=E ,ADRIAN'S RELEASE4 ,PR(ESSOR ,KR5'S C&IDATE = RECTOR1 HIS WIFE1 WAS UNANIM\SLY ELECT$ TO ! PO/2 !RE W]E NO O!R C&IDATES4 ,AFT] ,ADRIAN LE>N$ ALL ?AT1 HE MU/ HAVE SUSPECT$ ?AT ,I HAD KN[N AB\T ,V]A'S RELATIONS ) ,PR(ESSOR ,KR5 ALL ALONG1 BUT HE DIDN'T ASK4 ,AFT] HIS SESSION ) ,V]A'S SECRET>Y1 ,ADRIAN WANT$ TO LOOK UP ! O!R IMPORTANT /ATE (FICIAL :OSE *>ACT] HE HAD DEFAM$ BY CLAIM+ TO KN[ HIM1 ,COMRADE ,M>C ,GLAVNI4 ,ADRIAN W5T TO ! C>TON FACTORY1 BUT ,M>C NO LONG] OCCUPI$ ,MR4 ,ZAGAD'S (FICE1 :]E ,I HAD F\ND HIM SIX YE>S E>LI]4 ,ADRIAN WAS TOLD ?AT ,DR4 ,GLAVNI WAS ! G5]AL MANAG] ( ! PLANT BUT ?AT HIS (FICE WAS LOCAT$ 9 ! /ATE PLANN+ COMMISSION BUILD+4 ,ADRIAN W5T TO ! GOV]NM5T BUILD+1 F\ND ,M>C'S (FICE1 BUT GOT NO FUR!R ?AN ! DESK ( A SECRET>Y4 ,ADRIAN WAS ASK$ HIS REASONS = WANT+ TO SEE ,DR4 ,GLAVNI4 ,:5 HE SAID HE WANT$ TO APPLY = A JOB AT ! C>TON FACTORY1 ! SECRET>Y TOLD HIM ?AT HIR+ WAS H&L$ BY AN (FICIAL AT ! PLANT ITSELF1 & %E PROMPTLY WROTE AN (FICIAL'S NAME & (FICE NUMB] ON A SLIP ( PAP]4 ,ADRIAN !N TRI$ ANO!R APPROA*4 ,HE TELEPHON$ ,M>C'S (FICE1 9TRODUC$ HIMSELF AS ,COMRADE ,KR5 FROM ! /ATE BANK & SAID HE NE$$ TO DISCUSS URG5T BUS9ESS ) ,COMRADE ,GLAVNI4 ,HE WAS GIV5 AN APPO9TM5T = ! FOLL[+ DAY4 ,:5 ,ADRIAN 5T]$ ,M>C'S (FICE & 9TRODUC$ HIMSELF AS ,COMRADE ,KR51 ,M>C'S FACE FELL4 ,M>C DIDN'T EV5 %AKE ,ADRIAN'S H&4 ,HE M]ELY ASK$ ,ADRIAN :AT HE WANT$4 ,ADRIAN SAID HE WANT$ A JOB AT ! PLANT4 ,M>C1 FLU%$ ) ANG]1 %\T$3 ',Y\ WANT MY HELP AFT] :AT Y\'VE DONE TO ME8 ,C\LDN'T Y\ HAVE TOLD !M Y\ DIDN'T KN[ ME8 ,Y\'VE PUT A P]MAN5T BLOT ON MY NAME6' ,ADRIAN %\T$ BACK4 ',A BLOT ON Y\R NAME6 ,Y\ LUNATIC6 ,I'VE JU/ SP5T SIX YE>S ( MY LIFE 9 PRISON4 ,:AT W\LDN'T ,I DO TO HAVE A M]E BLOT ON MY NAME 9 EX*ANGE = ?OSE SIX YE>S6' ,M>C DIDN'T RESPOND4 ,HE REGA9$ HIS COMPOSURE1 SAT BEH9D HIS DESK & CALL$ HIS SECRET>Y TO ACCOMPANY ',COMRADE ,KR5' \T ( HIS (FICE1 SAY+ ',I'M SORRY COMRADE1 !RE >5'T ANY OP5+S = Y\R FRI5D4' ,ADRIAN WAS FURI\S :5 HE LEFT ,M>C'S (FICE4 ,BUT HE DIDN'T KN[ :AT TO DO4 ,HE WAS MIS]ABLE = SEV]AL WEEKS4 ,!N HE SOMEH[ LE>N$ ?AT ,TITUS ,ZABRAN WAS A TRADE UNION (FICIAL & W5T TO SEE HIM4 ,?AT WAS :5 ,TITUS GOT HIM ! JOB 9 ?AT (FICE :]E ,I F\ND HIM4 ,I TOLD ,ADRIAN SOME?+ AB\T MY [N LIFE S9CE \R >RE/ & ,I 9VIT$ HIM TO VISIT ME = OLD TIME'S SAKE1 BUT HE NEV] CAME4 ,I DIDN'T SEE HIM AGA9 = A :OLE YE>4 ,TITUS VISIT$ ME TWO OR ?REE TIMES DUR+ ?AT YE>4 ,I W5T TO S*OOL EV]Y DAY & READ MY NOVELS AT NI<T4 ,& !N -- WAS IT ?REE YE>S AGO8 -- ,I LE>N$ ?AT Y\R OLD] DAU<T] ,VESNA WAS SICK4 ,I DIDN'T EV5 KN[ H]4 ,%E HADN'T EV] BE5 9 MY CLASS & ,I HADN'T EV] TRI$ TO TALK TO H]4 ,I TOLD ,TITUS1 BUT ,I DIDN'T COME4 ,:5 ,I LE>N$ %E HAD DI$ 9 ! HOSPITAL ,I FELT AWFUL4 ,I CRI$ EV]Y NI<T4 ,I EV5 BUR/ \T CRY+ DUR+ ONE ( MY CLASSES4 ,BUT ,I JU/ C\LDN'T BR+ MYSELF TO COME & SEE Y\1 ,MIRNA4 ,I HAD /AY$ AWAY SO LONG & Y\ DIDN'T KN[ ME4 ,I WAS AFRAID Y\ W\LDN'T TRU/ ME4 ,I HAD TO GO SOME:]E1 TO SEE SOMEONE4 ,I DECID$ TO VISIT ,ADRIAN AGA94 ,NO?+ HAD *ANG$ 9 HIS (FICE4 ,! WALLS W]E /ILL B>E1 !RE WAS /ILL NO?+ 9 ! ROOM EXCEPT ! DESK & ! *AIRS & !RE WAS NO?+ ON ! DESK4 ,I ASK$ ,ADRIAN IF HE WAS /ILL WAIT+4 ,ADRIAN TOLD ME HE HAD ONE EXAM LEFT TO F9I% HIS /UDIES4 ,HE WAS SURE HE'D BE PROMOT$ AS SOON AS HE GOT HIS DEGREE4 ,I ASK$ HIM :AT K9D ( LIFE ?AT WAS1 WAIT+ 9 ?AT EMPTY ROOM = A PROMOTION LIKE A PRISON] WAIT+ TO BE RELEAS$4 ,HE TOLD ME HE HAD DONE A GREAT DEAL S9CE ,I'D LA/ SE5 HIM4 ,HE HAD BE5 SEE+ ,V]A'S SECRET>Y REGUL>LY1 ! ONE :O HAD TOLD HIM AB\T ,V]A'S SUCCESSES1 AL?\< HE HADN'T YET SE5 ,PR(ESSOR ,DR4 ,V]A 9 P]SON4 ,HE HAD TOLD ! SECRET>Y ?AT HE'D BE5 ! ONE RESPONSIBLE = ,V]A'S >RE/4 ,HE 9SI/$ ON TELL+ ME ! DETAILS ( HIS SELF-EXPOSURE4 ,! SECRET>Y TRAPP$ ,V]A 9TO ADMITT+ %E HAD LI$ AB\T ! =EIGN SPY :O HAD CAUS$ H] >RE/4 ,! SECRET>Y HAD TOLD ,V]A ?AT 9 H] /UD5T DAYS %E HAD MET AN ,ADRIAN ,POVR%AN :O HAD TOLD H] HE HAD KN[N ,V]A 9 HI< S*OOL4 ,V]A ADMITT$ HAV+ KN[N ,ADRIAN 9 HI< S*OOL2 %E EV5 TOLD ! SECRET>Y %E & ,ADRIAN HAD GR[N UP TOGE!R4 ,:5 ,ADRIAN TOLD ! SECRET>Y AB\T HIS >RE/1 HIS NE> RELEASE & ! NEW TRIAL :]E HE WAS TO ADMIT HE HAD NEV] KN[N ,V]A1 ! SECRET>Y WAS 9DIGNANT2 %E REALIZ$ ,V]A HAD CAUS$ ,ADRIAN TO BE IMPRISON$ = F\R EXTRA YE>S M]ELY 9 ORD] TO REHABILITATE H] NAME4 ,%E WANT$ TO EXPOSE ,V]A'S DUPLICITY1 TO MAKE A PUBLIC SC&AL4 ,ADRIAN TOLD ME HE WAS PLEAS$ BY ! SECRET>Y'S REACTION BUT HE BEGG$ H] NOT TO M5TION ! DETAILS TO ANYONE2 HE WAS AFRAID ?AT A SC&AL W\LD 9T]F]E ) HIS COM+ PROMOTION4 ,I FELT A MIXTURE ( DISGU/ & %AME :5 ,I LEFT ,ADRIAN'S (FICE4 ,I HAV5'T EV] GONE TO SEE HIM AGA94 ,I WAS DISGU/$ BY ,ADRIAN4 ,I REGRETT$ HAV+ GONE TO SEE HIM AFT] ,I HAD LE>N$ ( ,VESNA'S DEA?4 ,I WAS A%AM$ ( MYSELF1 ( MY LIFE1 ( ALL MY =M] FRI5DS40 

,I ASK$ ,JASNA IF %E KNEW :AT ALL ?OSE PEOPLE W]E DO+ TODAY4 

0,I LO/ TRACK ( ,CLAUDE N9E YE>S AGO1 AFT] ! DAY :5 HE CAME TO MY H\SE TO ACCUSE ME10 %E SAID4 0,I DON'T EV5 KN[ IF HE'S /ILL ALIVE4 ,IF HE IS1 HE'S PROBABLY A PRISON OR POLICE (FICIAL4 ,Y\ DON'T NE$ TO ASK ME AB\T ! O!RS4 ,!Y'RE 9 ! NEWSPAP]S4 ,V]A & ,ADRIAN APPE> TOGE!R ON SPEAK]S' PLAT=MS4 ,I HAVE NO IDEA H[ OR :5 !Y BECAME FRI5DS AGA94 ,V]A HAS FULFILL$ H] LIFE'S DREAM4 ,%E'S A POPUL> TRIBUNE4 ,%E LECTURES TO APPLAUD+ AUDI5CES1 TALKS ON ! RADIO AT LEA/ ONCE A WEEK AB\T ! URG5T POLITICAL TASKS ( ! DAY & ! NE$ = RE=MS4 ,& ,ADRIAN IS /ILL H] /RAI<T MAN2 HE /ILL DOCUM5TS ! ?+S %E SAYS4 ,I LI/5 TO !M ON ! RADIO :5EV] ,I CAN4 ,!Y'RE NOT NE>LY AS FUNNY AS !Y US$ TO BE4 ,:5EV] !Y'RE M5TION$ 9 ! NEWSPAP]S !IR NAMES >E ACCOMPANI$ BY TITLES ?AT FILL :OLE P>AGRAPHS4 ,V]A IS /ILL RECTOR ( ! UNIV]SITY4 ,%E'S ALSO DEPUTY M9I/] ( ! IDEOLOGICAL COMMISSION & ,I DON'T KN[ :AT ELSE BESIDES4 ,ADRIAN GOT ALL ! PROMOTIONS HE HAD WAIT$ =2 HE'S FIR/ P>TY SECRET>Y ( ! COMMISSION = PROBLEMS ( /&>D ( LIV+4 ,M>C HAS MORE TITLES ?AN EI!R ( !M4 ,HE'S A MEMB] ( ! C5TRAL COMMITTEE ( ! /ATE PLANN+ COMMISSION1 HE'S ON ! =EIGN TRADE COMMISSION1 HIS NAME IS M5TION$ :5EV] !RE'S AN 9T]NATIONAL TRADE CONF]5CE4 ,& ME3 ,I GET UP AT ! SAME TIME EV]Y MORN+ & GO TO TEA* MY CLASSES AT ! ELEM5T>Y S*OOL4 ,I'M NEI!R A HEAD NOR A MEMB] NOR A P>TY SECRET>Y NOR ANY?+ ELSE4 ,BUT SOMEH[ ,I'M ONE ( !M TOO4 ,I'VE ALSO AB&ON$ PEOPLE :O W]E KILL$ & JAIL$1 :O SUFF]$ BECAUSE !Y WANT$ TO LIVE ANO!R K9D ( LIFE4 ,I TOO AM A TRAITOR TO PEOPLE LIKE ,JAN :O DISAPPE>$ SO MANY YE>S AGO1 & TO LITTLE ,VESNA :O WASN'T EV5 GIV5 A *ANCE TO SURVIVE4 ,\R FAM\S FRI5DS HAVE SUCCE$$ 9 GETT+ ! LIFE WE US$ TO TALK AB\T2 !Y GOT IT = !MSELVES40 

,IT WAS V]Y LATE :5 ,JASNA F9I%$4 ,BE=E %E LEFT %E SAID TO ME1 0,BE SURE Y\ TELL ,SOPHIA AB\T ! PEOPLE WE KNEW TW5TY YE>S AGO4 ,!Y DON'T ALL DES]VE ! SYMPA?Y %E EXPRESSES = !M 9 H] LETT]40 

,I SUSPECT ?AT Y\ KN[ :O \R FRI5DS W]E & ?AT Y\'RE ONE ( !M2 MY SUSPICION IS CONFIRM$ BY Y\R DESCRIPTIONS ( ?OSE PEOPLE & BY Y\R DESCRIPTION ( Y\R LIFE'S *OICES4 ,Y\ DESCRIBE ,M>C & ,V]A AS COMMITT$ REVOLUTION>Y WORK]S4 ,LUISA REG>DS ,JAN & ME AS HO!ADS4 ,Y\ RECOGNIZE ! REPRESSIVE ASPIRATIONS ( Y\R UNIV]SITY FRI5DS ,LEM & ,RHEA1 BUT ONLY BECAUSE !SE TWO PEOPLE EXPRESS$ !IR ASPIRATIONS OP5LY4 ,Y\ FAIL TO REALIZE ?AT ?OSE :O ANN\NCE !IR REPRESSIVE ASPIRATIONS >E NOT ! ONLY C>RI]S ( REPRESSION4 ,Y\ FAIL TO SEE ?R\< PEOPLE :O DO NOT C>RY ! WORLD ( REPRESSION 9 !IR M\?S BUT 9 ! MOTIONS & DECISIONS !Y MAKE EV]Y DAY ( !IR LIVES4 ,TODAY IT DOESN'T TAKE GREAT 9SI<T TO SEE ?R\< PEOPLE LIKE ,LEM & ,RHEA4 ,PEOPLE LIKE !M HAVE REALIZ$ !IR ASPIRATIONS 9 A ?IRD ( ! WORLD & ! REPRESSIVE *>ACT] ( !SE ASPIRATIONS HAS BECOME PUBLIC KN[L$GE4 ,Y\ REJECT ,LEM & ,RHEA BECAUSE !Y'RE ANTIQUAT$1 NOT BECAUSE !Y'RE REPRESSIVE4 ,Y\ GLORIFY !IR MOD]N C\S9S4 ,Y\ GLORIFY ,M>C1 ,V]A1 ,ADRIAN1 ,CLAUDE & ?OSE LIKE !M 9 Y\R 5VIRONM5T4 ,Y\ DESCRIBE !M ALL AS REBELS4 ,I W\LD LIKE TO ?9K1 AS ,JASNA DOES1 ?AT Y\ DON'T KN[ :AT K9D ( PEOPLE !SE >E4 ,BUT ,I ?9K Y\ DO KN[ :O !Y >E4 ,I ?9K Y\ USE LANGUAGE ! SAME WAY !Y DO3 NOT TO UNVEIL & CL>IFY BUT TO MASK & OBSCURE4 ,I ?9K Y\ KN[ ?AT ! T]MS ) :I* Y\ DESCRIBE !SE PEOPLE >E ! T]MS BEH9D :I* !Y HIDE4 ,I ?9K Y\ KN[ ?AT T]MS LIKE 9DEP5D5T1 COMMITT$1 REVOLUTION>Y1 DO NOT DESCRIBE ! *>ACT]S OR ACTIVITIES ( !SE PEOPLE4 ,9 PLA9] T]MS1 Y\'RE LY+ AB\T !SE 9DIVIDUALS4 ,V]A1 ,ADRIAN1 ,CLAUDE & ,M>C >E PEOPLE = :OM ! ORGANIZ$ SY/EM ( REPRESSION IS ! ONLY POSSIBLE =M ( LIFE4 ,!Y P]CEIVE !IR [N P]SONAL DEVELOPM5T 9 ! =M ( ACTIVE P>TICIPATION 9 ! REPRESSION4 ,= !M ! UNIV]SITY HI]>*Y1 ! UNION HI]>*Y1 ! 5T]PRISE HI]>*Y & ! /ATE HI]>*Y >E ! HO?\SES 9 :I* HUMAN LIFE FL[]S & GR[S1 & IT'S )9 !SE CONTEXTS ?AT !Y DEF9E !IR *OICES1 !IR LIFE PROJECTS & !IR SUCCESS4 ,!IR AIM 9 LIFE IS TO OCCUPY POSITIONS 9 !SE HI]>*IES1 TO PLAY ! ROLES DEF9$ BY ! PREVI\S OCCUPANTS ( !IR (FICES4 ,!Y'VE R5\NC$ !IR [N PROJECTS & !IR [N LIVES 9 ORD] TO LIVE :AT HAS ALREADY BE5 LIV$4 ,!Y RAN TO SELL !MSELVES OR SAT LIKE COMMODITIES 9 DISPLAY W9D[S WAIT+ TO BE B\<T4 ,& :ILE !Y GR[ 9SIDE !IR HI]>*IES ! RE/ ( US MANURE ! HO?\SE SOIL & MA9TA9 ! HEAT ) \R SUBMISSION & \R ADMIRATION4 

,SEV]AL TIMES DUR+ ,JASNA'S N>RATIVE ,Y>A 9T]RUPT$ ) COMM5TS ?AT EXPRESS$ ADMIRATION = \R ONE-TIME C[ORK]S4 ,EV5 ,JASNA & ,I BECAME MORE ADMIRABLE TO ,Y>A BECAUSE WE HAD ONCE KN[N !SE P>AGONS ( 9TEGRITY & SOLID>ITY2 WE %ONE 9 ! LI<T REFLECT$ FROM !SE SUNS4 ,IT'S TRUE ?AT ,Y>A IS ONLY ELEV5 YE>S OLD1 BUT H] ADMIRATION NEV]!LESS DISAPPO9T$ ME4 ,%E HAPP5S TO BE ! 9DIVIDUAL :O HAD SO MU* TO DO ) /IRR+ UP ! F]M5T AT H] S*OOL4 ,H] SELF-ASSURANCE 9 MATT]S ?AT CONC]N H] DIRECTLY1 COMB9$ ) PASSIVE ADM9ATION = ! OCCUPANTS ( SOCIAL (FICES1 IS ID5TICAL TO ! MIXTURE ( SELF-ASSURANCE & PASSIVITY AMONG MY FELL[ WORK]S 9 ! C>TON PLANT :O DET]M9$LY \/ A UNION BUREAUCRAT & !N APPLAUD SPEE*MAK]S WAIT+ TO REPLACE ! \/$ BUREAUCRAT 9 ! SAME PO/4 ,FROM H] [N EXP]I5CE ,Y>A KN[S ?AT %E & H] FRI5DS >E ABLE TO MOVE ! WORLD1 :ILE H] $UCATION HAS IMBU$ H] ) ! ILLUSION ?AT ONLY ! TOPS ( ! HI]>*IES MOVE ! WORLD4 ,Y>A'S ADMIRATION = ,V]A & ,M>C HAS MU* 9 COMMON ) ! MIRAGES PEOPLE EXP]I5CE 9 A DES]T4 ,! ILLUSION IS CAUS$ BY ! HEAT1 ! DI/ANCE1 & ! ?IR/ ONE FEELS4 ,! MIRAGE CONT9UES REC$+2 NO MATT] H[ F> ONE GOES ONE SEEMS TO GET NO CLOS] TO IT4 ,ONE :O DOES F9ALLY REA* IT F9DS !RE IS NO WAT] !RE BUT ONLY MORE S&4 ,! AURA :I* SEEMS TO SURR\ND ! ADMIRABLE PEOPLE ( \R SOCIETY IS AN ILLUSION CAUS$ BY ! POV]TY ( EV]YONE'S P]SONAL LIFE 9 CONTRA/ TO ! BRILLIANT PUBLIC LIFE ( ! P]SONALITIES DAILY DISPLAY$ TO ?\S&S4 ,SOME ( ?OSE :O WAT*1 COND5SE !IR LIFE PROJECTS TO ONE S+LE GOAL3 TO BE WAT*$1 TO BE SE5 DAILY BY ?\S&S4 ,BUT ?IS GOAL IS A MIRAGE4 ,BE+ WAT*$ IS NO MORE ( AN ACTIVITY ?AN WAT*+4 ,! OBS]V$ IS AS PASSIVE AS ! OBS]V]4 ,IT SEEMS TO ME ?AT ! P]SONAL LIVES ( ?OSE :O OCCUPY ! HI<E/ (FICES >E AS MIS]ABLE AS ! P]SONAL LIVES ( ?OSE :O >E VICTIMIZ$ BY ! (FICIALS4 ,:5 ,M>C REA*$ HIS GOAL & BECAME MANAG] ( ! PLANT HE R5\NC$ HIS [N LIFE TO SU* AN EXT5T ?AT :5 ,JASNA VISIT$ HIS (FICE %E SAW 9 HIM1 NOT ! 9DIVIDUAL WE HAD KN[N1 BUT ! PREVI\S OCCUPANT ( ?AT (FICE1 ,MR4 ,ZAGAD4 ,HAV+ ANNIHILAT$ HIMSELF TO SU* A DEGREE HE TURN$ HIS BACK ON ,JASNA & ,ADRIAN :5 !Y NE$$ HIS HELP4 ,ADRIAN HAD TO S]VE F\R YE>S 9 PRISON SO ?AT A BLOT C\LD BE REMOV$ FROM ,M>C'S NAME4 ,ADRIAN'S PROLONG$ IMPRISONM5T S]V$ ,V]A'S 9T]E/S AS WELL3 %E C\LD M>RY H] BANK] )\T HAV+ TO EXPLA9 ANY?+ TO H] LIFELONG FRI5D4 ,WE DON'T KN[ H[ MANY O!RS ,M>C HAD TO REPRESS1 9 ORD] TO RISE TO HIS HEI<TS BUT WE HAVE /RONG GR\NDS = ?9K+ IT WAS ,V]A OR H] FUTURE HUSB& :O REMOV$ ! PREVI\S RECTOR ( ! UNIV]SITY FROM HIS PO/4 ,& ,ADRIAN1 AFT] HAV+ BE5 VICTIMIZ$ BY BO? ,V]A & ,M>C1 \TDID BO? ( !M3 ,ADRIAN'S SELF-DEBASEM5T = ! SAKE ( BUREAUCRATIC ADVANCEM5T IS SC&AL\S4 ,HE SIMPLY GAVE ALL ( HIMSELF TO ! BUREAUCRACY2 HE D5UD$ HIMSELF ( ALL 9T]NAL & EXT]NAL *>ACT]I/ICS1 ( ALL M>KS ?AT MI<T EV5 SUP]FICIALLY DEF9E HIM AS A SPECIFIC 9DIVIDUAL1 & WAIT$ LIKE AN UNLABEL$ BOTTLE READY TO BE FILL$ & SOLD4 ,CLAUDE HAD SUCCE$$ 9 ATTA9+ HIS REPRESSIVE IDEAL E>LI] & MORE GROSSLY4 ,HAV+ REPRESS$ !IR [N DESIRES TO LIVE )\T BUREAUCRATIC /RUCTURES1 !Y HIT \T BL9DLY AGA9/ ALL ?OSE :O HAVE NOT REPRESS$ SU* DESIRES4 ,I ?9K ,LUISA %>ES ONE TRAIT ) H] =M] COMRADES4 ,I ?9K %E TOO1 A LONG TIME AGO1 GAVE UP H] DESIRES = H] [N SELF-LIB]ATION & GAVE H]SELF TO ! LA/ ( ! REPRESSIVE 9/ITUTIONS1 ! REPRES5TATIVE ( LIB]ATION1 ! UNION4 ,%E P\R$ H] LIFE 9TO MEAN+LESS DRUDG]Y = ! SAKE ( ?AT REPRESSIVE ,UTOPIA :]E RANK & FIL]S >E SAID TO RULE :5 !Y >E RUL$ BY A RANK & FIL]1 :]E WORK]S >E SAID TO MANAGE :5 !Y >E MANAG$ BY A WORK]1 :]E ! PEOPLE >E SAID TO BE VICTORI\S :5 ONE ( ! VICTORS GOV]NS4 ,I ?9K ?IS IS :Y ,LUISA RESPONDS SO IRRATIONALLY :5EV] ,RON IS M5TION$1 :5EV] ,MANUEL1 :OM %E NEV] MET1 IS M5TION$1 :5EV] ,JAN IS M5TION$4 ,I ?9K %E RESPONDS ?AT WAY BECAUSE !SE 9DIVIDUALS REFUS$ TO REPRESS !IR [N DESIRES1 BECAUSE !Y REFUS$ TO SUBMIT TO ! VICTORY ( REPRESSION CALL$ BY ANO!R NAME4 

,I WAS AMAZ$ BY ! EX*ANGE BETWE5 ,SAB9A & ,LUISA AB\T ALL ?OSE :OM ,LUISA CALL$ 5EMIES BEH9D ! TR5*ES4 ,LUISA IS /RAI<T=W>D :5 %E SPEAKS ( SABOTEURS & ASSASS9S AS IF !Y W]E FIR/ C\S9S2 TO H]1 PEOPLE :O SABOTAG$ PRODUCTION >E ! SAME AS PEOPLE :O MURD]$ REVOLUTION>Y WORK]S1 & %E DEF5DS ! REPRESSION ( BO?4 ,ISN'T IT P]FECTLY CLE> ?AT IF ,LUISA'S IDEAL HAD TRIUMPH$1 PEOPLE LIKE ,MANUEL1 ,JAN & ,I W\LDN'T HAVE F>$ ANY BETT] ?AN WE DID8 ,SAB9A GUESS$ EXACTLY :AT ,MANUEL HAD TOLD ME3 ! REVOLUTION>Y SABOTEURS W]E KILL$ ALONGSIDE ! HIR$ ASSASS9S1 NOT BY ! ORD] ( ! G5]ALS1 BUT BY ! ORD] ( ! REVOLUTION>Y G5]AL /AFF4 ,?AT'S :AT W\LD HAVE HAPP5$ TO ,MANUEL IF HE HADN'T BE5 >RE/$ E>LI] BECAUSE ( HIS MEMB]%IP 9 AN ORGANIZATION TO :I* HE NO LONG] BELONG$ :5 HE WAS >RE/$4 

,! WEEK5D IS OV] & TOMORR[ ,I RETURN TO WORK4 ,I'D LIKE TO 5D ?IS LETT] ON A MORE *E]FUL NOTE4 ,I W\LD G5U9ELY LIKE TO C>RY ON ?IS CORRESPOND5CE ) Y\ 9 A SPIRIT ( UND]/&+ & MUTUAL AID1 NOT ONLY = ! SAKE ( \R PA/ FRI5D%IP1 BUT ALSO BECAUSE COMMUNICATION ACROSS SU* L>GE *ASMS WILL HAVE TO TAKE PLACE IF \R MEAG] BEG9N+S >E GO+ TO CONT9UE GR[+ & NOT BE DR[N$ 9 BLOOD SPILL$ BY ?OSE ( \R LIKES :O REMA9 UND] ! SPELL ( !IR RUL]S4 

,I HOPE MY LETT]1 & ESPECIALLY ,JASNA'S N>RATIVE1 HAS AT LEA/ CL>IFI$ ! *>ACT] ( ! 9DIVIDUALS & ! EXP]I5CES ON :I* Y\ BAS$ SO MANY ( Y\R LIFE'S *OICES4  
  

,Y>O/AN4  

,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #aige 3 ,Y>O/AN'S ,F\R? ,LETT] -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,APRIL #b#f1 #bb 3 ,Y>O/AN'S ,F\R? ,LETT] -- ,ADD$4 

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