,Y>O/AN'S FIF? LETT] 

#aigfaigf 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,FR$Y ,P]LMAN 

,TEXT 3 

,Y>O/AN'S FIF? LETT] 

,DE> ,SOPHIA1 

,Y\R LETT] >RIV$ YE/]DAY4 ,MIRNA & ,I BO? READ IT BE=E SITT+ D[N TO ! SUPP] ,Y>A HAD PREP>$ = US4 ,Y>A WAS ANNOY$4 0,AFT] ! WAY %E 9SULT$ Y\ LA/ TIME ,I W\LDN'T ?9K Y\'D SKIP SUPP] TO READ ANO!R ONE ( H] LETT]S40 

,MIRNA TOLD ,Y>A1 0,IT'S A V]Y MOV+ LETT]1 ,Y>A2 Y\ & ,SOPHIA HAVE A LOT 9 COMMON40 

,I FELT ?IS TOO4 ,= ! FIR/ TIME S9CE ! BEG9N+ ( \R CORRESPOND5CE ,I WAS ABLE TO RECOGNIZE MYSELF 9 Y\4 ,?IS ISN'T ONLY BECAUSE Y\ US$ MY >GUM5TS OR ,ZD5EK'S 9 Y\R QU>REL ) Y\R FRI5D ,DAMAN BUT BECAUSE Y\R LETT] MADE ME AW>E ( SIMIL>ITIES 9 \R EXP]I5CES & \TLOOKS4 ,I N[ FEEL ,I %\LD APOLOGIZE = ! WAY ,I TREAT$ Y\R E>LI] LETT]S4 ,I DID TREAT Y\ AS AN \TSID]1 AS A P]SON ) :OM ,I C\LDN'T COMMUNICATE AB\T MY PRES5T SITUATION4 ,I WAS WRONG4 

,DUR+ SUPP] LA/ NI<T ,MIRNA COMM5T$1 0,SOPHIA IS A BORN TR\BLEMAK]1 JU/ LIKE ,JAN & ,Y>A4 ,%E %>ES ,JAN'S RECKLESSNESS AS WELL AS HIS C\RAGE4 ,I'M GLAD = H] SAKE ?AT %E WAS TAK5 AWAY FROM H]E EV5 IF H] EMIGRATION CAUS$ H] SOME PA94 ,!RE'S NO ROOM H]E = PEOPLE LIKE ?AT4 ,IF %E'D /AY$ %E W\LD HAVE DISAPPE>$ YE>S AGO 9 A PRISON OR CONC5TRATION CAMP40 ,MIRNA LOV$ H] 0RECKLESS0 BRO!R & %E'S V]Y PR\D ( ,Y>N'S REBELLI\SNESS4 ,Y\R LETT] CONV9C$ ME ?AT ,MIRNA IS RI<T3 IF Y\'D /AY$ H]E Y\ C\LD WELL HAVE FOLL[$ A PA? V]Y SIMIL> TO ,JAN'S4 ,& Y\'RE RI<T3 Y\ C]TA9LY W\LDN'T HAVE OCCUPI$ ! 0PLACE0 ,I ASSIGN$ TO Y\ 9 MY E>LI] LETT]S4 ,! T5ACITY ) :I* Y\ PURSU$ Y\R /RUGGLE1 EV5 9 ! FACE ( C]TA9 REPRESSION1 IS SOME?+ Y\ %>E ) ,JAN1 NOT ) PEOPLE WE BO? CONSID] OPPORTUNI/S4 ,Y\R REC5T CONFRONTATION ) ! ADM9I/RATIVE PSY*OLOGI/ AT Y\R COLLEGE1 Y\R EXPOSURES ( MILIT>ISM DUR+ Y\R UNIV]SITY YE>S1 Y\R DISRUPTION ( ! W> EXP]T'S CLASS1 >E CLE>LY NOT OPPORTUNI/IC ACTS1 & Y\ MAKE IT P]FECTLY CLE> TO ME ?AT Y\ C\LDN'T HAVE D]IV$ ANY PRIVILEGES FROM 5GAG+ 9 ?OSE ACTS4 ,Y\'RE RI<T :5 Y\ ACCUSE ME ( FAIL+ TO DI/+UI% Y\R COMMITM5T FROM ! COMMITM5TS ( ?OSE >\ND Y\4 ,I DID ACCUSE Y\ ( BE+ A C>RI] ( ! REPRESSIVE FUCTIONS ( ! UNIV]SITY & ! PRESS & ,I RECOGNIZE ?AT ?IS ACCUSATION WAS UNFAIR4 ,I DID ID5TIFY Y\R 5GAGEM5TS ) 5GAGEM5TS ?AT >E AS UNACCEPTABLE TO Y\ AS !Y >E TO ME4 ,I ?9K ,I DID4 ?IS BECAUSE ! CONTEXTS 9 :I* Y\'VE *OS5 TO /RUGGLE >E CONTEXTS 9 :I* ,I HAD ?\<T G5U9E REBELLION IMPOSSIBLE4 ,9 MY WORLD ! POLITICAL MILITANT1 ! J\RNALI/ & ! ACADEMICIAN DO NOT & CANNOT HELP E/ABLI% A HUMAN COMMUNITY BECAUSE !IR V]Y EXI/5CE PRESUPPOSES ! ABS5CE ( COMMUNITY4 ,?IS MU/ BE TRUE 9 Y\R WORLD TOO2 ,T9A EXPRESS$ IT V]Y COLORFULLY :51 /&+ 9 ! /REET1 %E %\T$ AT ,DAMAN ?AT HIS 0CU%Y JOB0 DEP5D$ ON ! PASSIVITY ( ! RE/ ( ! POPULATION4 

,Y\'VE CONV9C$ ME ?AT Y\R 5GAGEM5T 9 ,DAMAN'S ACTIVITY1 OR 9 ,M>C ,GLAVNI'S & ,V]A ,NEIS'S ACTIVITIES1 DOESN'T MAKE Y\ LIKE !M1 & ?AT Y\R 5GAGEM5T WAS 0SOME K9D ( AFFIRMATION ( LIFE10 AS Y\ PUT IT4 ,BUT Y\ HAV5'T CONV9C$ ME ?AT ! K9D ( /RUGGLE Y\'VE WAG$ IS ACTUALLY POSSIBLE 9 ! CONTEXTS 9 :I* Y\ F\<T IT4 ,EV]Y ONE ( Y\R EXP]I5CES CONV9C$ ME ?AT ! 9/RUM5TS Y\ *OSE >E USELESS = ! K9DS ( 5DS Y\ TRI$ TO MAKE !M S]VE4 ,Y\ W]E TRY+ TO FI<T = LIB]ATION ) ?IS SOCIETY'S 9/RUM5TS ( DOM9ATION4 ,I ?9K ?IS IS :Y Y\ ALWAYS REMA9$ AN \TSID] :ILE ?OSE ALONGSIDE Y\ BECAME PRIE/S ( POLITICAL SECTS1 MISSION>IES ( REPRESSIVE RELIGIONS & (FICIALS 9 GOV]NM5T BUREAUCRACIES4 ,9 MY E>LI] LETT]S ,I FAIL$ TO DI/+UI% Y\ FROM Y\R CONTEXT & MY UND]/&+ ( Y\R ACTIVITIES WAS V]Y ONE-SID$4 ,Y\'RE RI<T TO EMPHASIZE ! SIDE ,I HAD EXCLUD$ & Y\ DO =CE ME TO RECOGNIZE MY N>R[-M9D$NESS4 ,BUT ,I ?9K Y\ /ILL LEAVE SOME VEILS HANG+1 Y\ /ILL HIDE SOME P>TS ( ! PICTURE4 ,I SEE ! PICTURE 9 A NEW LI<T N[ BUT ,I /ILL DON'T SEE AN ALTOGE!R DIFF]5T PICTURE FROM ! ONE ,I SAW BE=E4 ,I N[ SEE ?AT Y\R [N GOALS W]E NOT REPRESSIVE BUT ,I'M /ILL CONV9C$ ?AT ! CONTEXT 9 :I* Y\ F\<T = ?OSE GOALS WAS REPRESSIVE4 

,9 ORD] TO COMBAT MY ONE-SID$NESS Y\ HAVE REC\RSE TO >GUM5TS ?AT >E EQUALLY ONE-SID$4 ,Y\ PRET5D ?AT ! CONTEXTS 9 :I* Y\ LOCAT$ Y\R /RUGGLES W]E ACCID5TAL & ?AT Y\R [N ACTIVITIES HAD 0NO?+ TO DO0 ) ?OSE CONTEXTS4 ,I ?9K Y\'RE WRONG4 ,I ?9K Y\R ACTIVITIES W]E R$UC$ TO NO?+ BY ?OSE CONTEXTS4 ,I ?9K IT'S NO ACCID5T ?AT ! AGITATIONAL ACTIVITY AT ! C>TON PLANT TW5TY YE>S AGO S]V$ ,V]A & ,M>C AS A /EPP+ /ONE T[>D ! E/ABLI%M5T ( BUREAUCRATIC C>E]S4 ,I ?9K IT'S NO ACCID5T ?AT Y\R C[ORK] ON ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] IS N[ A FUNCTION>Y 9 ! IDEOLOGICAL E/ABLI%M5T1 NOR ?AT ! /UD5TS :O W]E /IMULAT$ BY ! EXAMPLE ( Y\R J\RNALI/IC ACTIVITY BECAME POLITICIANS4 ,! CONTEXTS 9 :I* Y\ S\<T A PROJECT & A COMMUNITY >E 9/ITUTIONS :I* ?RIVE ON ! ABS5CE ( :AT Y\ S\<T & Y\ C\LDN'T HAVE BE5 ANY?+ MORE ?AN AN \TSID] !RE4 ,I'LL TRY TO CL>IFY :AT ,I MEAN BY TELL+ Y\ AB\T MY REC5T 5C\NT] ) TWO ( \R ONETIME FRI5DS4 

,LA/ ,SATURDAY ,JASNA & ,I ATT5D$ A LECTURE 9 ! AUDITORIUM ( ! ,H\SE ( ,CULTURE4 ,! SPEAK]S W]E ,V]A ,KR5A & ,ADRIAN ,POVR%AN4 ,!IR SPEE*ES W]E CRITICAL EXPOSURES ( ! REPRESSION WE'VE UND]GONE DUR+ ! PA/ TW5TY YE>S4 ,9 T]MS ( !IR WORDS ALONE1 ,V]A & ,ADRIAN C\LDN'T HAVE BE5 V]Y DIFF]5T FROM Y\ AT ! TIME :5 Y\ EXPOS$ ! MILIT>IZATION ( ! UNIV]SITY ON ! S*OOL'S NEWSPAP] /AFF4 ,!Y S\ND$ LIKE REBELS1 EV5 REVOLUTION>IES4 ,BUT 9 T]MS ( !IR RELATIONS TO ?OSE >\ND !M1 9 T]MS ( ! CONTEXT 9 :I* !Y SPOKE1 !Y >E NOT REBELS BUT POLITICAL OPPORTUNI/S4 

,I AGREE ) Y\3 ! SIMIL>ITY ( !IR ACTIVITY TO Y\RS DOES NOT MAKE Y\ ONE ( !M4 ,BUT ,I DON'T AGREE ?AT ! CONTEXT IS OR CAN BE AS HOSPITABLE TO Y\R GOALS AS TO !IRS4 ,Y\ SEEM CONV9C$ ?AT SPEAK]S' PLAT=MS1 NEWSPAP]S & P$AGOGICAL 9/ITUTIONS CAN BE S]VICEABLE TO ! /RUGGLE = FRE$OM4 ,I'M CONV9C$ ( ! OPPOSITE2 ,I ?9K SU* CONTEXTS >E ANTI!TICAL TO Y\R GOALS & HO/ILE TO Y\R /RUGGLE & BY 5GAG+ 9 !M Y\ M]ELY /R5G!N =CES :OSE V]Y EXI/5CE NEGATES Y\R PROJECT & Y\R COMMUNITY4 ,MAYBE ,I'M BE+ UNFAIR AGA94 ,IF SO1 ,I HOPE Y\'LL %[ ME :]E ,I'M WRONG4 ,I'LL TRY TO EXPRESS MY D\BTS AS CLE>LY AS ,I CAN1 EV5 AT ! RISK ( BE+ UNFAIR & OV]/AT+ MY CASE AGA94 ,IF ,I DO GET 0C>RI$ AWAY BY MY RHETORIC0 ONCE AGA91 ,I HOPE Y\'LL UND]/& ?AT IT'S NOT BECAUSE ,I FEEL ?AT EV]Y?+ Y\ /& = IS ALI5 TO ME4 ,ON ! CONTR>Y1 ,I'M NOT ADDRESS+ MY COMM5TS TO A /RANG] BUT TO A COMRADE & IT SEEMS TO ME ?AT SU* CRITICAL APPRECIATION IS NOT AN EXPRESSION ( HO/ILITY BUT IS AT ! V]Y BASIS ( COMMUNICATION & FRI5D%IP4 

,LA/ ,FRIDAY ,JASNA WALK$ ,Y>A HOME FROM S*OOL & WAIT$ = ME TO RETURN FROM WORK4 ,%E TOLD ME ,V]A & ,ADRIAN W]E S*$UL$ TO SPEAK ! FOLL[+ NI<T & %E WAS QUITE EXCIT$ AB\T IT4 ,%E HADN'T SE5 ,ADRIAN S9CE %E'D VISIT$ HIM ?REE YE>S AGO 9 HIS EMPTY (FICE 9 ! TRADE UNION BUILD+4 ,& ! LA/ TIME %E SAW ,V]A WAS TWELVE YE>S AGO1 ON ! DAY :5 ALL ?REE ( !M W]E >RE/$ AT ,JASNA'S H\SE & ACCUS$ ( HAV+ CONTACTS ) A =EIGN SPY4 ,I DID REMEMB] TO ASK ,JASNA IF %E C\LD ANSW] ,SAB9A'S QUE/ION AB\T ! LA/ NAME ! POLICE ATTRIBUT$ TO Y\ & ,LUISA :5 !Y QUE/ION$ H] AB\T H] =M] ACQUA9TANCES1 BUT ,JASNA DIDN'T REMEMB] ! NAME4 

,I DIDN'T %>E ANY ( ,JASNA'S 5?USIASM AB\T ! PROSPECT ( SEE+ ,ADRIAN & ,V]A4 ,9 FACT1 ,I REFUS$ TO ACCOMPANY H] TO ! LECTURE :5 %E FIR/ M5TION$ IT4 ,I TOLD H] ?AT IF TWO POLITICIANS EV] CAME TO ! C>TON PLANT TO LECTURE TO ME DUR+ WORK H\RS1 ,I'D WALK (F MY JOB1 SO ?AT ,I OBVI\SLY WASN'T DISPOS$ TO GO \T ( MY WAY TO HE> ! POLITICIANS4 ,JASNA SAID %E WASN'T GO+ BECAUSE ( H] 9T]E/ 9 POLITICAL SPEE*ES BUT BECAUSE !SE SPEAK]S HAD ONCE BE5 H] FRI5DS4 ,IF MY CORRESPOND5CE ) Y\ HADN'T REVIV$ MY MEMORIES ( A DI/ANT PA/1 ,I D\BT IF ,I'D /ILL REMEMB] ?AT ,ADRIAN ,POVR%AN & ,V]A ,KR5A HAD ONCE BE5 MY FRI5DS4 ,BUT ,I DID REMEMB] ?IS BIZ>RE FACT & ,I *ANG$ MY M9D1 NOT SO MU* BECAUSE ,I WANT$ TO SEE OR HE> ,ADRIAN OR ,V]A1 BUT BECAUSE ( Y\1 BECAUSE !Y'VE COME TO OCCUPY SU* AN IMPORTANT PLACE 9 Y\R LIFE4 

,! AUDITORIUM WAS ALMO/ EMPTY4 ,! AUDI5CE CONSI/$ MA9LY ( Y\NG PEOPLE1 PROBABLY /UD5TS1 AL?\< !RE MAY HAVE BE5 A FEW Y\NG WORK]S AMONG !M4 

,V]A ,KR5A WAS 9TRODUC$ FIR/1 ALONG ) ALL H] TITLES3 HONORABLE RECTOR1 HONORABLE MEMB]1 HONORABLE DEPUTY M9I/]4 ,!RE WAS LITTLE APPLAUSE4 ,%E SPOKE V]Y ELOQU5TLY AB\T :AT %E CALL$ ! 0]RORS0 :I* HAD BE5 COMMITT$ H]E DUR+ 0REC5T YE>S40 ,%E WAS APPLAUD$ :5 %E SAID ?AT !SE 0]RORS0 & 0%ORTCOM+S0 HAD ALL BE5 BR\<T AB\T BY ! 0DE=MATIONS ( \R SOCIAL SY/EM40 ,I DIDN'T APPLAUD1 S9CE ,I FELT ?AT BY L9K+ ! 0]RORS0 TO ! 0DE=MATIONS0 %E M]ELY L9K$ TWO EQUALLY EMPTY WORDS4 ,H] CONCLUD+ SPEE* WAS A R\S+ CALL = :AT %E CALL$ 0ACTION40 ,V]A'S WORDS W]E AS \T ( PLACE 9 ! MID/ ( ! PRES5T F]M5T AS ,DAMAN'S LECTURE WAS 9 ! MID/ ( ! /UD5T /RIKE4 0,WE MU/ F9D \R WAY \T ( ?IS VICI\S CIRCLE :]E BUREAUCRATIC ATTITUDES RE9=CE PASSIVITY & PASSIVITY RE9=CES BUREAUCRATIC ATTITUDES4 ,WE MU/ CREATE AN ATMOSPH]E FAVORABLE TO ! GR[? ( 9ITIATIVE4 ,! PROHIBITION & REPRESSION ( CRITICISM1 ! /IFL+ ( DEMOCRATIC RELATIONS1 ONLY 9HIBIT ! GR[? ( 9ITIATIVE4 ,SU* DE=MATIONS P>ALYZE 9ITIATIVE AT ALL LEVELS & LEAD TO 9DIFF]5CE & TO ! CULT ( M$IOCRITY4 ,WE /& AT A HI/ORICAL CROSSROADS4 ,WE FACE A GREAT TASK4 ,! TIME TO ACT HAS COME4 ,LET US NOT BE SATISFI$ ) HALF MEASURES40 

,! AUDI5CE APPLAUD$ & SOME PEOPLE /OOD UP4 ,I FELT UNEASY4 ,I HAD ( C\RSE KN[N ?AT POLITICIANS W]E V]Y BUSY TRY+ TO D]IVE P]SONAL PR(IT FROM ! PRES5T F]M5T4 ,BUT IT IS ONE ?+ TO KN[ ?IS & QUITE ANO!R TO EXP]I5CE IT DIRECTLY4 ,NO ONE 9 ! AUDI5CE C\LD D\BT ,V]A'S S9C]ITY OR DET]M9ATION4 ,%E IS /ILL A V]Y P[]FUL SPEAK] -- MU* MORE P[]FUL ?AN MO/ ( ! POLITICIANS ,I HE> ON ! RADIO 9 ! C>TON PLANT4 ,%E'S ALSO MORE C\RAGE\S ?AN MO/ ( ! O!R 0RADICAL0 POLITICIANS ( TODAY2 P]HAPS %E /ILL HAS SOME ( ! TRAITS Y\ ADMIR$ H] = TW5TY YE>S AGO4 ,%E'S ! FIR/ POLITICIAN ,I'VE HE>D 9 REC5T MON?S :O REF]R$1 9 ONE & ! SAME SPEE*1 TO ! /IFL+ ( DEMOCRATIC RELATIONS1 ! REPRESSION ( CRITICISM & ! P>ALYZES ( 9ITIATIVE4 ,BUT LIKE ALL POLITICIANS 9 P[]1 ,V]A PRES5TS ALL ?IS AS 0]RORS0 & 0DE=MATIONS10 & NOT AS ! V]Y NATURE ( ! SY/EM ( :I* %E'S AN 9TEGRAL P>T4 ,IF ! SY/EM IS ONLY 0DE=M$0 !N IT CAN BE CUR$4 ,H[EV]1 IF ?IS SOCIAL SY/EM IS ITSELF ! DE=MITY !N IT CAN ONLY BE DE/ROY$1 ROOT & BRAN*4 ,V]A'S REM$Y FOLL[S FROM H] [N DIAGNOSIS3 ! SY/EM HAS TO BE CUR$4 ,H[8 0,WE MU/ F9D 444 ,WE MU/ CREATE 444 ,WE /& 444 ,LET US4440 0,WE0 ( C\RSE MEANS ,V]A ,KR5A TOGE!R ) H] AUDI5CE1 ,V]A TOGE!R ) ! WORK+ POPULATION4 ,& H[ WILL 0WE0 CURE ! SY/EM 0TOGE!R08 ,OBVI\SLY ! SAME WAY 0WE0 HAVE ALWAYS DONE ANY?+ 0TOGE!R40 ,WE ! WORK]S WILL DO \R %>E BY REMA9+ AT \R PO/S 9 ! FACTORIES1 :ILE ,V]A WILL DO H] %>E BY REMA9+ AT H] PO/S 9 ! (FICES ( ! ACADEMIC & IDEOLOGICAL E/ABLI%M5TS4 ,9 O!R WORDS1 WE WILL CURE ! SY/EM 0TOGE!R0 BY CONT9U+ TO REPRODUCE IT4 ,& :Y DO WE FACE ?IS 0GREAT TASK0 ONLY N[1 :Y HAVE WE SUDD5LY >RIV$ AT ?IS 0HI/ORIC CROSSROADS0 :5 0! TIME TO ACT HAS COME08 ,BECAUSE A F]M5T BEGAN AT ! BOTTOM ( ?IS SOCIETY & ?IS F]M5T HAS SPREAD TO SU* AN EXT5T ?AT IT ?REAT5S TO SWEEP AWAY ALL ! (FICES ?AT ,V]A & H] COMRADES OCCUPY4 ,= ,V]A ! TIME HAS COME TO PUT AN 5D TO ?IS F]M5T4 ,?AT'S ! 0GREAT TASK0 %E FACES4 ,! (FICES %E F\<T SO H>D TO REA* >E 5DANG]$ BY ! F]M5T4 ,?AT'S :Y %E S\ND$ SO S9C]E & SO DET]M9$4 ,%E'S DET]M9$ NOT TO LOSE A S+LE ONE ( H] CONQUE/S4 ,H] HE>T MAY EV5 BE SET ON REA*+ NEW HEI<TS ( BUREAUCRATIC P[]1 ON PR(IT+ FROM ! OPPORTUNITIES CREAT$ BY ! F]M5T ITSELF4 ,! PRES5T SITUATION W\LD !N 9DE$ BE A HI/ORIC CROSSROADS -- = ,V]A ,KR5A4 

,I DON'T ?9K ,V]A IS AN UNUSUALLY BRUTAL1 CYNICAL OR UNSCRUPUL\S P]SON4 ,I ?9K ! BRUTALITY IS 9 H] SOCIAL ACTIVITY1 9 ! (FICES %E OCCUPIES4 ,!SE (FICES >E P>T ( ! /ATE APP>ATUS4 ,?AT APP>ATUS CAN P]=M ITS FUNCTIONS ONLY SO LONG AS A PASSIVE & SUBMISSIVE POPULATION LETS ITSELF BE EXPROPRIAT$ ( ?OSE FUNCTIONS4 ,= ! PA/ FEW MON?S ?\S&S ( PEOPLE HAVE />T$ TO P]=M FUNCTIONS !Y HAD NEV] P]=M$ BE=E1 FUNCTIONS :I* HAD BE5 ! EXCLUSIVE DOMA9 ( ! /ATE4 ,?IS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE 9 ! >EA ( COMMUNICATION1 NAMELY ! >EA :I* CONTA9S ALL ( ,V]A ,KR5A'S ACADEMIC & IDEOLOGICAL (FICES4 ,PEOPLE HAVE />T$ TO COMMUNICATE ) EA* O!R DIRECTLY2 !Y'VE BE5 =G+ !IR [N T]M9OLOGIES & 9FUS+ !M ) !IR [N MEAN+S4 ,! IDEOLOGICAL E/ABLI%M5T & ALL ITS MEANS ( PROPAG&A >E BE+ SUP]S$$ BY HUMAN =MS ( COMMUNICATION4 ,IF ?IS PROCESS CONT9UES1 ALL ?OSE (FICES & 9/RUM5TS WILL BECOME HI/ORICAL JUNK1 CURIOSITIES DISC>D$ BY A REAWAK5$ HUMANITY4 

,V]A'S 9T]E/ 9 D]AIL+ & /OPP+ ?IS F]M5T IS NOT SO MU* H] [N P]SONAL 9T]E/ AS IT IS ! 9T]E/ ( AN IDEOLOGICAL E/ABLI%M5T /RUGGL+ TO REIMPOSE ITSELF OV] HUMAN BE+S :O >E RUNN+ \T FROM UND] IT4 ,V]A ,KR5A1 DIRECTOR & IDEOLOGICAL M9I/]1 DIDN'T SPEAK AS AN 9DIVIDUAL BUT AS AN AG5T ( DIRECTOR%IP & IDEOLOGY4 ,?R\< H] !SE 9/ITUTIONS1 !SE AB/RACTIONS :I* >E NO?+ BUT SUMM>IES ( REGUL>IZ$ SUBMISSION1 ACQUIRE A VOICE & A WILL2 ?R\< H] !SE AB/RACTIONS ASS]T !IR 9SATIABLE HUNG]1 !IR WILL TO DEV\R EV]Y HUMAN ?\<T1 WORD & S\ND1 TO DIGE/ ALL =MS ( HUMAN COMMUNICATION & EXCRETE !M AS IDEOLOGY4 

,ADRIAN WASN'T APPLAUD$ :5 HE WAS 9TRODUC$2 SEV]AL PEOPLE SNICK]$ :5 HIS FULL TITLE WAS ANN\NC$2 0,*AIRMAN ( ! C5TRAL COMMITTEE ( ! COMMISSION = PROBLEMS ( /&>D ( LIV+40 ,HIS SPEE* WAS %ORT & DULL4 ,HE DID EXACTLY :AT HE US$ TO DO TW5TY YE>S AGO4 ,HE DIDN'T ADD ANY?+ AT ALL TO :AT ,V]A HAD ALREADY SAID2 HE M]ELY REPEAT$ A FEW ( H] PLATITUDES & !N PROCE$$ TO DOCUM5T !M4 ,HE DOCUM5T$ 0]RORS0 & 0DE=MITIES0 ) /ATI/ICAL DATA4 ,HE CIT$ FACTS AB\T ! /AGNAT+ RATE ( 9DU/RIAL DEVELOPM5T & ! DECL9+ /&>D ( LIV+1 FACTS :I* >E WELL KN[N TO A POPULATION ?AT HAS EXP]I5C$ !M DAILY4 ,ADRIAN1 LIKE ,V]A1 CALL$ = ! REPRODUCTION ( ! V]Y SY/EM :OSE ILLS HE DOCUM5T$1 BUT HE WAS MU* MORE /RAI<T=W>D AB\T ! 0CURE0 ?AN ,V]A4 ,:5 HE SAID1 0,! LEAD]S MU/ APPLY POLICIES :I* WILL E>N !M !IR LEAD+ ROLES 9 SOCIETY10 HE WAS HISS$ BY SEV]AL PEOPLE4 ,HE APP>5TLY DIDN'T HE> ! HISSES BECAUSE HE CONT9U$ 9 ! SAME VE93 0,WE CAN NO LONG] IMPOSE \R AU?ORITY BUT MU/ CONQU] IT ?R\< \R ACTS40 ,! HISSES BECAME SO L\D ?AT ,I C\LD B>ELY HE> HIS CONCLUD+ S5T5CE1 :I* WAS SOME?+ LIKE1 0,WE CAN NO LONG] IMPOSE \R L9E BY COMM&S1 BUT ONLY ?R\< \R WORK1 ONLY ?R\< ! TRU? ( \R IDEALS40 ,A FEW PEOPLE APPLAUD$2 OV] HALF ! AUDI5CE HISS$4 ,HE C\LD NOT HAVE BE5 MORE PA!TIC IF HE'D BEGG$1 0,PLEASE LET US /AY :]E WE >E2 WE PROMISE TO BE GOOD NEXT TIME40 ,! RUL]S APP>5TLY ?9K ! POPULATION IS READY TO OV]?R[ !M4 ,IF ONLY ! RE/ ( ! POPULATION HAD SU* A HI< OP9ION ( ITS [N POT5TIAL6 

,! FACT ?AT ,ADRIAN WAS HISS$ :]EAS ,V]A WAS APPLAUD$ PUZZLES ME4 ,I'M EQUALLY PUZZL$ 9 ! C>TON PLANT1 :]E PEOPLE CONDEMN SOME ( ! RADIO POLITICIANS AS 0ROTT5 BUREAUCRATS ( ! OLD S*OOL0 :ILE PRAIS+ O!R POLITICIANS AS PEOPLE :O >E 0BASICALLY ON \R SIDE40 ,I'M PUZZL$ BECAUSE ,I CAN'T SEE ANY ESS5TIAL DIFF]5CE BETWE5 ! POLITICIANS :O >E SO DIFF]5T 9 ! EYES ( ?OSE >\ND ME4 ,EI!R ,I'M FAIL+ TO SEE SOME V]Y IMPORTANT DIFF]5CES OR ELSE ?OSE >\ND ME >E FAIL+ TO SEE ! SIMIL>ITIES4 

,?IS IS RELAT$ TO SOME?+ ,I EXP]I5C$ 9 PRISON4 ,WE (T5 DISCUSS$ ! BEHAVIOR & *>ACT] ( PRISON GU>DS & WE CLASSIFI$ GU>DS 9 T]MS ( !IR DEGREE ( BRUTALITY3 SOME GU>DS W]E 0VICI\S10 O!RS 0SO-SO10 A FEW W]E 0FAIRLY DEC5T40 ,BUT ON SEV]AL OCCASIONS ,I HE>D A PRISON] REF] TO A GU>D AS A P]SON :O WAS 0ON \R SIDE40 ,I C\LD NEV] UND]/& ?IS TYPE ( *>ACT]IZATION ( A PRISON GU>D4 ,OR RA!R1 ,I UND]/OOD IT & CONSID]$ IT ABSURD4 ,9 PRISON ! ABSURDITY ( SU* AN OBS]VATION IS MADE OBVI\S BY ! WALLS1 GATES & B>S4 ,A P]SON :O WAS NOT 9SIDE A CELL1 :O POLIC$ US 9 ! Y>D1 :O LEFT ! PRISON EV]Y NI<T1 WAS CLE>LY NOT ON \R SIDE4 ,! COMM5T WAS ABSURD IF IT WAS UND]/OOD LIT]ALLY4 ,BUT IT WAS MU* MORE DI/URB+ IF IT WAS NOT UND]/OOD LIT]ALLY BECAUSE IT DESCRIB$ SOME?+ V]Y REAL AB\T \R SITUATION AS PRISON]S4 ,IT MEANT ?AT PRISON]S HAVE NO 0SIDE10 ?AT \R FATE DEP5D$ COMPLETELY ON ! WILLS & :IMS ( ! GU>DS4 ,WE W]E ?+S1 9HUMAN 5TITIES )\T 9T]E/S1 DESIRES OR POT5TIALITIES4 ,! CLOSE/ WE C\LD COME TO REGA9+ \R HUMANITY WAS TO HAVE \R 9T]E/S & DESIRES REPRES5T$ AMONG ! GU>DS4 ,SAY+ ?AT A GU>D WAS ON 0\R SIDE0 MEANT ?AT ALL ?AT REMA9$ ( \R HUMANITY WAS LODG$ 9 ! GU>D4 

,! APPLAUSE GIV5 TO POLITICIANS LIKE ,V]A ,KR5A 9 ! PRES5T SITUATION IS EV5 MORE DI/URB+ ?AN IT W\LD HAVE BE5 9 PRISON4 ,\R SURVIVAL AS HUMAN BE+S 9 PRISON DID 9 FACT DEP5D ON ! PRISON GU>DS1 ON ! PRES5CE OR ABS5CE ( 0\R SIDE0 AMONG ! GU>DS4 ,EV]Y ATTEMPT TO AFFIRM \R HUMANITY ON \R [N L$ DIRECTLY TO SEV]E REPRESSION1 MUTILATION1 EV5 DEA?4 ,BUT ?IS ISN'T ! CASE 9 ! PRES5T SITUATION1 A SITUATION ,V]A DESCRIB$ AS A 0HI/ORIC CROSSROADS40 ,= ! FIR/ TIME 9 TW5TY YE>S ! EXT5T ( \R DEVELOPM5T AS HUMAN BE+S HAS NOT DEP5D$ ON ! EXT5T TO :I* \R HUMANITY WAS REPRES5T$ AMONG ! PRISON GU>DS1 ! RUL+ POLITICIANS4 ,= ! FIR/ TIME 9 TW5TY YE>S WE'VE BEGUN TO TAKE /EPS TO REGA9 \R [N POT5TIALITIES & REALIZE \R [N DESIRES4 ,= ! FIR/ TIME 9 TW5TY YE>S WE HAV5'T BE5 PRISON]S AT ! M]CY ( GU>DS BUT FREE HUMAN BE+S DISCOV]+ \R FRE$OM & BEG9N+ TO =GE \R [N HUMANITY4 ,! APPLAUSE GIV5 TO POLITICIANS LIKE ,V]A 9DICATES ?AT MANY1 DI/URB+LY MANY PEOPLE >E NOT ABLE TO LEAVE ! PRISON 9 :I* !Y'VE BE5 LOCK$ UP4 ,IT MEANS ?AT MANY ( MY CONTEMPOR>IES >E UNABLE TO ACCEPT ! REALITY ( !IR [N DESIRES EV5 9 ! ACT ( REALIZ+ !M4 ,!Y >E UNABLE TO ACCEPT !MSELVES AS HUMAN BE+S4 ,!Y'VE BE5 LOCK$ UP TOO LONG4 ,!Y CAN NO LONG] IMAG9E ANY FRE$OM O!R ?AN ! FRE$OM ( ! PRISON GU>D4 ,!Y'VE REPRESS$ ALL DESIRES EXCEPT ?OSE REPRES5T$ AMONG ! GU>DS4 ,EV5 :ILE !Y TAKE /EPS TO REALIZE !IR [N PROJECT !Y AFFIRM A POLITICIAN'S PROJECT & D5Y !IR [N4 

,MO/ ( ! AUDI5CE LEFT AFT] ,ADRIAN'S SPEE*4 ,A GR\P ( I PEOPLE GA!R$ >\ND ,V]A & A SMALL] GR\P >\ND ,ADRIAN4 ,JASNA TOLD ME %E WANT$ TO TALK TO ,ADRIAN1 OR AT LEA/ TO  %AKE HIS H&4 ,%E TOLD ME %E FELT SORRY = HIM4 ,I /AY$ 9 MY SEAT :5 %E WALK$ UP TO ! CIRCLE ( PEOPLE SURR\ND+ ,ADRIAN4 ,HE WAS V]Y BUSY GR9N+ & %AK+ H&S4 ,HE DIDN'T SEEM AW>E ?AT ANYONE HAD HISS$ HIS SPEE*4 ,! 5?USIA/S SURR\ND+ HIM PROBABLY GAVE HIM ! IMPRESSION ?AT EV]YONE 9 ! AUDI5CE CONSID]$ HIM A SE]4 

,MO/ ( ,ADRIAN'S ADMIR]S W]E GONE :5 HE NOTIC$ ,JASNA4 ,HE %OOK H] H& AS IF HE W]E PUMP+ WAT] FROM A WELL4 ,%E MU/ HAVE ASK$ IF HE REMEMB]$ ME1 BECAUSE BO? TURN$ TO LOOK AT ME4 ,ADRIAN'S FACE DIDN'T %[ ! SLI<TE/ SIGN ( RECOGNITION4 ,HE IMM$IATELY TURN$ TO ! Y\NG MAN NEXT TO ,JASNA & />T$ PUMP+ HIS H&4 ,JASNA'S TURN HAD 5D$4 

,JASNA WALK$ T[>D ! L>GE GR\P :I* /ILL SURR\ND$ ,V]A1 & WAIT$4 ,I SAW ,V]A LOOK AT ,JASNA SEV]AL TIMES & !N TURN TO SOMEONE ELSE4 ,JASNA WAIT$ UNTIL %E & A GIRL :O C\LDN'T HAVE BE5 OV] TWELVE W]E ! ONLY PEOPLE :O /ILL WANT$ TO %AKE ,V]A'S H&4 ,V]A %OOK ,JASNA'S H& )\T EV5 LOOK+ AT H]1 SAID1 0,?ANK Y\ V]Y MU*1 COMRADES10 %OOK ! GIRL'S H& & TURN$ TO ,ADRIAN SAY+1 0,WELL1 ?AT DIDN'T GO OV] AS BADLY AS ,I'D ?\<T IT W\LD40 

,JASNA WALK$ T[>D ME ) TE>S 9 H] EYES4 0,ADRIAN AT LEA/ REMEMB]$ MY NAME10 %E SOBB$4 ,:5 WE LEFT ! AUDITORIUM %E WAS CRY+4 0,V]A LIV$ ) ME = FIVE YE>S6 ,WE C\LD HAVE BE5 SI/]S4 ,%E DOESN'T EV5 KN[ :O ,I AM60 

,I TRI$ TO CONSOLE ,JASNA BY TELL+ H] ?AT ,I W\LDN'T HAVE RECOGNIZ$ EI!R ,V]A OR ,ADRIAN IF ,I HADN'T BE5 REM9D$ ( !M BY \R REC5T CONV]SATIONS & BY Y\R LETT]S4 

0,Y\ HAV5'T SE5 !M = TW5TY YE>S1 & Y\ NEV] KNEW !M ! WAY ,I DID10 ,JASNA SAID1 & CONT9U$ TO CRY4 ,%E KNEW ?AT IT WASN'T ONLY TIME ?AT SEP>AT$ H] FROM H] =M] H\SEMATES4 ,! DI/ANCE BETWE5 TWO WORLDS SEP>AT$ H] FROM !M4 ,JASNA WAS AS ALI5 TO ,V]A & ,ADRIAN AS Y\ W]E TO ,RON ON ! NI<T ( Y\R LA/ 5C\NT] ) HIM4 ,:5 ,RON SAID4 0,I HE> Y\'RE GO+ TO COLLEGE10 Y\ HE>D HIM ASK3 0,:5 DID ,I EV] HAVE ANY?+ TO DO ) Y\80 ,ADRIAN REMEMB]$ ONLY ,JASNA'S NAME4 ,V]A DIDN'T REMEMB] ?AT %E'D EV] HAD ANY?+ TO DO ) ,JASNA1 NOT ONLY BECAUSE TWELVE YE>S HAVE TURN$ ,JASNA 9TO A /RANG]1 BUT ALSO BECAUSE ,JASNA'S WORLD IS /RANGE TO ,V]A4 ,! PEOPLE :O 9HABIT ,V]A'S WORLD HAVE NAMES1 0REAL0 NAMES1 LIKE 0*AIRMAN10 0FIR/ SECRET>Y0 OR 0PRESID5T40 ,!Y HAVE TITLES1 PO/S1 (FICES4 ,!Y'RE ! PEOPLE ,V]A REMEMB]S4 ,JASNA DOESN'T HAVE A TITLE4 ,%E DOESN'T HAVE A NAME4 ,JASNA ISN'T SOMEBODY4 ,%E'S NOBODY4 ,JASNA IS A CIPH] 9 ! POPULATION /ATI/ICS1 A GRA9 ( S& 9DI/+UI%ABLE FROM ALL ! O!R GRA9S ON A BEA*1 A FACE 9DI/+UI%ABLE FROM ALL ! O!R FACES 9 AN AUDI5CE2 %E'S M]ELY ANO!R H& TO %AKE AFT] A SPEE*1 ANO!R MEMB] ( ! WORK+ CLASS :OSE NOBLE CAUSE ,V]A S]VES4 

,JASNA & ,I WALK$ SIL5TLY T[>D MY H\SE4 ,I /OPP$ TRY+ TO CONSOLE H]4 ,I ?\<T ( Y\R FIR/ TWO LETT]S4 ,I UND]/OOD P]FECTLY :Y ,I HAD RESPOND$ TO !M SO 0UNFAIRLY40 ,Y\ HAD DESCRIB$ !SE POLITICIANS AS Y\R 0COMMUNITY10 AS ! ONLY PEOPLE Y\ KNEW :O W]5'T PUPPETS1 AS 9SURG5TS :O HAD /RUGGL$ TO %AKE (F !IR [N *A9S )\T 5SLAV+ O!RS4 ,I HAD RESPOND$ AS IF Y\'D TOLD ME Y\ HAD MODEL$ Y\R LIFE ON ! LIFE ( ! ,ROMAN EMP]OR ,CALIGULA4 ,I HADN'T SE5 ,V]A OR ,ADRIAN = TW5TY YE>S & ,I HAD NEV] EX]T$ ! TYPE ( SOCIAL P[] !Y ASPIR$ TO4 ,I'VE NEV] SE5 ,CALIGULA EI!R1 NOR HAVE ,I OCCUPI$ ANY PO/ COMP>ABLE TO HIS4 ,BUT ,I'VE EXP]I5C$ SOME ( ! EFFECTS ( ! PROJECTS ( !IR LIKES4 ,:5 Y\ ID5TIFI$ Y\RSELF ) !M ,I ?\<T ( Y\ AS ONE ( !M4 ,I'M N[ CONV9C$ ?AT Y\'RE NOT ONE ( !M1 ?AT Y\R PROJECT HAS NO?+ 9 COMMON ) !IRS4 ,BUT ! T]RA9 ON :I* Y\'VE *OS5 TO /RUGGLE = Y\R PROJECT IS !IR T]RA94 ,EV]Y ONE ( ! ACTIVITIES Y\'VE DESCRIB$ IS AN ACTIVITY ( POLITICIANS & IDEOLOGUES4 ,?IS IS :AT L$ ME TO RESPOND SO 0UNFAIRLY40 ,I C\LDN'T IMAG9E ?AT ANY?+ HUMAN C\LD GR[ ON ?AT T]RA9 & ,I /ILL CAN'T4 

,DUR+ \R WALK HOME ,I C\LD HAVE TRI$ TO *E] ,JASNA UP BY TELL+ H] %E \<T TO BE FLATT]$ NOT TO BE RECOGNIZ$ AS A COMRADE BY TWO OPPORTUNI/IC POLITICIANS1 BUT ,I DIDN'T ?9K ( ?IS4 ,YET ?IS IS :AT ,MIRNA MU/ HAVE HAD 9 M9D :5 WE GOT HOME & %E SAW ,JASNA'S TE>S2 %E ASK$ US :AT HAD HAPP5$4 

0,!Y DIDN'T RECOGNIZE US10 ,I SAID4 

0,DID Y\ ?9K ?OSE PEOPLE W\LD RECOGNIZE Y\80 ,MIRNA ASK$4 0,H[ IMPORTANT DO Y\ ?9K Y\ >E80 

,JASNA SMIL$ 9 RESPONSE TO ,MIRNA'S QUE/ION BUT PROTE/$1 0,I'M AS MU* ( A P]SON AS !Y >E60 

0,MAYBE Y\ >E 9 ,Y>O/AN'S EYES & 9 MY EYES10 ,MIRNA SAID4 0,AT MY FACTORY !RE >E DOZ5S LIKE ME 9 MY SECTION & !RE'S ONE MANAG]4 ,DO Y\ ?9K ,I'M AS IMPORTANT AS HE IS80 

0,MU* MORE IMPORTANT10 ,I SAID4 

,MIRNA LAU<$ & SAID1 0,COME ) ME ON ,MONDAY MORN+ & TELL HIM ?AT60 

,JASNA LAU<$ TOO4 ,AT ?IS PO9T ,Y>A TURN$ TO ,JASNA & ASK$1 0,C\LD Y\ TELL IF !Y W]E LOV]S80 ,Y>A HAD APP>5TLY BE5 BUR/+ TO ASK ?IS QUE/ION FROM ! MOM5T WE HAD 5T]$ ! H\SE BUT HAD BE5 9HIBIT$ BY ,JASNA'S SADNESS4 

0,C\LD ,I TELL :AT80 ,JASNA ASK$4 

0,KR5A & ,POVR%AN3 >5'T !Y LOV]S80 ,Y>A ASK$4 

0,:AT 9 ! WORLD DO Y\ KN[ AB\T ?AT80 ,I ASK$ H]4 

0,JASNA TOLD US ALL AB\T !M60 ,Y>A 9SI/$4 

0,:AT ,JASNA TOLD US WAS ?AT ,V]A M>RI$ ! BANK DIRECTOR & :5 ,ADRIAN WAS RELEAS$ FROM PRISON & F\ND ?AT \T1 HE /AY$ AWAY FROM ,V]A10 ,I REM9D$ H]4 

0,JASNA ALSO TOLD US ,POVR%AN W5T \T ) ! RECTOR'S SECRET>Y10 ,Y>A REM9D$ ME4 0,I TOLD MY GIRL FRI5D ,JULIA EV]Y?+ ,JASNA TOLD US4 ,JULIA'S FA!R WORKS 9 ! /ATE BANK & KN[S ALL AB\T ! BANK DIRECTOR & HIS WIFE4 ,JULIA SAYS !Y TALK AB\T !M ALL ! TIME4 ,BUT !Y DIDN'T KN[ ANY?+ AB\T ,POVR%AN4 ,JULIA TOLD ME ! BANK DIRECTOR IS OLD & HIS WIFE ISN'T NE>LY AS OLD4 ,9 !IR MANSION !Y SLEEP 9 SEP>ATE ROOMS40 

0,DID Y\R GIRL FRI5D'S FA!R TELL Y\ AB\T ALL ?AT80 ,I ASK$4 

0,NO1 ,JULIA FIGUR$ IT \T10 ,Y>A SAID4 

0,Y\ MEAN %E MADE IT UP10 ,I SAID4 

0,%E DID NOT60 ,Y>A SNAPP$ BACK ANGRILY4 0,%E'S NOT A LI>60 

,I SAID1 0,I'M SORRY4 ,I WAS AMAZ$ ?AT Y\ & Y\R FRI5DS DISCUSS$ SU* ?+S40 

0,:Y %\LDN'T WE8 ,Y\ DO60 ,Y>A RETORT$4 

,MIRNA LAU<$ & SAID1 0,WE KEEP =GETT+ ?AT Y\'RE ALREADY ELEV5 YE>S OLD40 

,I ASK$ ,Y>A TO TELL US :AT ,JULIA HAD FIGUR$ \T4 

0,H] FA!R HAD TALK$ AB\T DEPUTY M9I/] ,KR5A HAV+ A LOV]1 BUT NO ONE KNEW :O HE WAS UNTIL ,I TOLD ,JULIA AB\T ,POVR%AN40 

,I BUR/ \T LAU<+ & C\LDN'T KEEP MYSELF FROM ASK+1 0,DO Y\ ACTUALLY KN[ :AT A LOV] IS80 

0,DO Y\ WANT ME TO BR+ M9E HOME & %[ Y\8 ,HIS NAME IS ,SLOBODAN60 ,Y>A SNAPP$4 

,JASNA & ,I W]E EMB>RASS$4 ,MIRNA LAU<$4 ,UN=TUNATELY NOT ONE ( US CAN TAKE CR$IT = ,Y>A'S SOPHI/ICATION4 ,P]IODS ( F]M5T UND\BT$LY HAVE A /IMULAT+ EFFECT ON EV]YONE4 ,I BEGG$ ,Y>A TO GO ON4 

0,JULIA'S FA!R ONLY KNEW ?AT ,KR5A'S LOV] WAS SOME K9D ( (FICIAL1 ?AT HE WAS M>RI$1 & ?AT ,KR5A HAD HIM APPO9T$ TO A COMMISSION10 ,Y>A CONT9U$4 0,BUT IT WAS ,JULIA :O PUT ALL ! PIECES TOGE!R4 ,%E'S READ /ORIES LIKE ?AT 9 MAGAZ9ES1 BUT USUALLY IT'S ! WOMAN :O DOES :AT ,POVR%AN DID4 ,& %E KNEW FROM ! PAP]S ?AT EV]Y TIME HE & ,KR5A GAVE A SPEE* TOGE!R HE GOT ANO!R PROMOTION UNTIL HE BECAME COMMISSION *AIRMAN4 ,:5 ,I TOLD H] :AT ,JASNA TOLD US1 ,JULIA FIGUR$ \T ?AT ,POVR%AN HAD NEV] /OPP$ LOV+ ,KR5A1 EV5 ?\< HE HAT$ H] = :AT %E'S DONE TO HIM4 ,BUT HE KNEW ,KR5A W\LD ?R[ HIM \T IF HE SIMPLY %[$ UP 9 H] (FICE4 ,%E'D ?9K HE WANT$ TO GET EV5 ) H]4 ,SO HE M>RI$ H] SECRET>Y1 ! ONE ,JASNA TOLD US AB\T4 ,?AT WAY1 :5 HE TURN$ UP AT ! RECTOR'S (FICE HE W\LDN'T BE LOOK+ = ,KR5A BUT = HIS WIFE1 & IT W\LD BE ,KR5A :O W\LD ACCID5TALLY RUN 9TO HIM4 ,CAN Y\ IMAG9E H] EXPRESSION :5 %E ASKS1 ,>E Y\ LOOK+ = ME8 & HE ANSW]S1 ,NO1 ,I'M WAIT+ = MY WIFE4 ,JULIA FIGUR$ \T SOME?+ ELSE TOO4 ,KR5A W\LD HAVE ?R[N HIM \T ( H] (FICE IF HE'D TURN$ UP !RE UNM>RI$1 BUT %E MU/ HAVE TURN$ GRE5 ) 5VY :5 %E LE>N$ HE WAS M>RI$ TO H] SECRET>Y4 ,JULIA SAYS IT DOESN'T REALLY MATT] IF HE PLANN$ ALL ?IS FROM ! />T OR IF HE M>RI$ ,KR5A'S SECRET>Y BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY LOV$ H]4 ,9 EI!R CASE HE OBVI\SLY RAN 9TO ,KR5A1 S9CE !Y'RE TOGE!R N[1 & HIS WIFE IS ,KR5A'S PRIVATE SECRET>Y4 ,JULIA'S FA!R SAID IT WAS ,KR5A :O APPO9T$ HIM & ,JASNA TOLD US ?AT HE WAS SOMEONE :O'D DO ANY?+ = AN APPO9TM5T4 ,DON'T Y\ SEE8 ,KR5A APPO9T$ HIM & !N HE HAD TO SEE H] AB\T HIS PO/1 SOMETIMES AT NI<T1 SOMETIMES EV5 ALL NI<T4 ,KR5A WAS TIR$ ( ?AT OLD BANK DIRECTOR4 ,:5 !Y />T$ GIV+ SPEE*ES !Y W]E TOGE!R ALL ! TIME40 

,WE W]E /UNN$4 ,I HAD NO REASON TO D\BT ! PLAUSIBILITY ( ANY P>T ( ,Y>A'S /ORY4 ,AFT] A LONG PAUSE ,I ASK$1 0,H[ OLD IS Y\R GIRLFRI5D ,JULIA80 

0,%E'S T5 & A HALF10 ,Y>A ANSW]$4 ,!N1 BY WAY ( EXPLANATION1 %E ADD$1 0,BUT WE'RE BO? 9 ! SAME GRADE 9 S*OOL40 

,I WAS /UNN$ BY ! WORLDLY WISDOM ( ,Y>A & H] T5 YE> OLD GIRLFRI5D4 ,I WAS ALSO DI/URB$4 ,:AT BO!R$ ME WAS RELAT$ TO :AT HAD BO!R$ ME 9 Y\R LETT]S & ALSO TO :AT HAD BO!R$ ME :5 Y\NG PEOPLE HAD APPLAUD$ ,V]A ,KR5A'S LECTURE4 ,:AT DI/URBS ME IS NOT ,Y>A'S SOPHI/ICATION BUT H] FRAME ( REF]5CE4 ,%E & H] FRI5D HAVE UNBELIEVABLE 9SI<T 9TO ! PRIVATE LIVES ( ! RUL+ BUREAUCRATS4 ,!Y'RE FAMILI> ) ! MO/ 9TIMATE DETAILS ( A WORLD ?AT'S COMPLETELY ALI5 TO !M4 ,!Y'RE AS 9T]E/$ 9 ! LOVE AFFAIRS ( (FICIALS AS ! ANCI5T ,GREEKS W]E 9 ! LOVE AFFAIRS ( !IR GODS4 ,! WORLD ( (FICIALS IS ! WORLD ?AT MATT]S4 ,(FICIALS >E TODAY'S GODS4 ,!Y'RE OMNIPOT5T & IMMORTAL4 ,NOT AS 9DIVIDUALS3 ,KR5A & ,POVR%AN >E MORTAL2 !Y'RE ALSO REPLACEABLE4 ,! DEPUTY M9I/] & ! *AIRMAN >E NEI!R MORTAL NOR REPLACEABLE4 ,!Y'RE ! ESS5TIAL BE+S1 ! P]MAN5CE BEH9D ! FLUX1 ! FIX$ />S ( AN EV]-*ANG+ UNIV]SE4 ,!Y'RE IMMORTAL4 ,!Y CAN CONCEIVABLY BE DISLODG$ FROM !IR POSITIONS1 BUT ONLY ?R\< A COSMIC CATACLYSM :I* TAKES PLACE 9 ! SKY4 ,!Y CANNOT BE DISLODG$ BY M]E MORTALS4 ,NO?+ WE DO D[N H]E AFFECTS !M4 ,! PROJECTS :I* ,Y>A HAS ALREADY =G$ ) H] COMPANIONS HAVE NOT DISLODG$ ! ALL-P[]FUL BE+S :O 9HABIT H] IMAG9ATION4 ,! SOLID>ITY1 ! COMMUNITY1 ! POT5TIALITY %E & H] LIKES EXP]I5C$ 9 !IR DEMON/RATIONS >E TRANSITORY & TRIVIAL COMP>$ TO ! LOVE AFFAIRS ( A DEPUTY M9I/] & A *AIRMAN4 ,Y>N'S ACTS MAY AT TIMES BE C\RAGE\S & EXCIT+ BUT !Y CAN NEV] BE FASC9AT+1 ADMIRABLE OR AWESOME4 ,FASC9ATION1 ADMIRATION & AWE >E RES]V$ = ! ACTS ( ! GODS4 

,LIKE ?OSE ( MY FELL[ WORK]S 9 ! PLANT :O APPLAUD ! SPEE*ES ( C]TA9 BUREAUCRATS1 ,Y>A IS ALREADY A FASC9AT$ ADMIR]4 ,LIKE !M1 %E HAS ALREADY EXP]I5C$ 9 H]SELF A CAPACITY1 H[EV] MODE/1 TO OV]?R[ ! RUL+ RELATIONS & LIKE !M %E LODGES ALL CAPACITY 9 ! GODS4 ,LIKE !M1 %E HAS ALREADY EXP]I5C$ A GLIMM] ( FRE$OM YET /ILL %E CAN'T IMAG9E ANY FRE$OM O!R ?AN ! FRE$OM ( PRISON GU>DS4 ,Y>A & H] FRI5D >E \R CONTEMPOR>IES1 NOT ONLY BECAUSE ( ! SOPHI/ICATION ( !IR P]CEPTIONS1 BUT ALSO BECAUSE !Y'RE ALREADY PRISON]S ( ! RUL+ IDEOLOGY4 ,LIKE ! /UD5TS :O APPLAUD$ ,V]A ,KR5A'S SPEE*1 ,Y>A & H] FRI5D REMA9 LOCK$ UP )9 ?IS IDEOLOGY AT A TIME :5 !IR [N ACTS >E UND]M9+ ! IDEOLOGY'S SOCIAL F\NDATIONS4 ,) HALF ( !IR BE+ !Y DIG ! GRAVE = ! EXPIR+ CORPSE ( ! REPRESSIVE WORLD :ILE ) ! O!R HALF !Y 9FUSE ! CORPSE ) NEW LIFE & C>RY IT ?R\< YET ANO!R CRISIS4 

,9 ONE ( Y\R E>LI] LETT]S Y\ & ,LUISA >GU$ V]Y ELOQU5TLY ?AT SLAVES >E NOT RESPONSIBLE = !IR MIS]Y NOR WORK]S = !IR EXPLOITATION NOR ! POOR = !IR POV]TY NOR PRISON]S = !IR IMPRISONM5T4 ,?AT'S TRUE1 BUT ONLY SUP]FICIALLY4 ,:]E DO MA/]S D]IVE !IR MA/]Y8 ,FROM ! />S8 ,:]E DO ! RI* GET !IR WEAL? IF NOT FROM ! POOR8 ,:]E DO GU>DS & EXPLOIT]S D]IVE !IR P[]8 ,Y\ & ,LUISA >E RI<T 9 A V]Y N>R[ S5SE3 WE DON'T %OOT \RSELVES4 ,!Y %OOT US4 ,BUT IT'S WE :O PRODUCE !M1 IT'S WE :O /AFF !IR >MIES1 IT'S WE :O PRODUCE ! WEAPONS ?AT KILL US4 ,IT ISN'T EV5 TRUE ?AT !Y %OOT US4 ,!Y ONLY ORD] US %OT1 & IT'S WE :O IMPLEM5T !IR ORD]S4 ,WE BUT*] \RSELVES4 

,I'M NOT SUGGE/+ ?AT ,Y>A'S IMAG9ATION HAS BE5 P]MAN5TLY MAIM$4 ,IF ?IS W]E SO %E W\LDN'T HAVE BE5 ABLE TO 5GAGE 9 ! DEMON/RATIONS 9 :I* %E'S BE5 TAK+ SU* AN ACTIVE P>T4 ,ALL ! LIVELY ACTIVITIES TAK+ PLACE >\ND ME PROVE ?AT NO ONE HAS BE5 P]MAN5TLY MAIM$4 ,HUMAN BE+S CANNOT BE P]MAN5TLY TRANS=M$ 9TO 9SECTS OR ROBOTS4 ,BUT ALL ! HALF-REVOLUTIONS ( ! PA/ %[ ?AT HUMAN BE+S >E AS RELUCTANT TO RECLAIM ! TOTALITY ( !IR REPRESS$ HUMANITY AS !Y >E TO LOSE IT4 ,I ?9K Y\ ILLU/RATE ?IS AS MU* AS ,Y>A & MY FELL[ WORK]S 9 ! C>TON PLANT4 ,I'M NOT TALK+ AB\T OPPORTUNISM N[4 ,I F9ALLY DO RECOGNIZE ?AT Y\ HAVE NO?+ 9 COMMON ) ,V]A ,KR5A4 ,I'M TALK+ AB\T AN AMBIGUITY Y\ %>E ) PEOPLE :O >E G5U9E REBELS4 ,I'M TALK+ AB\T ! FACT ?AT Y\'VE REPRODUC$ ! (FICIAL PROJECT 9 ! V]Y ACT ( /RUGGL+ TO REALIZE Y\R [N2 Y\'VE RE5ACT$ REPRESSIVE RELATIONS 9 ! V]Y ACT ( FI<T+ AGA9/ !M4 ,! WORLD 9 :I* Y\'VE TRI$ TO REALIZE Y\RSELF IS ! WORLD ,Y>A C>RIES 9 H] HEAD4 ,IT IS ! (FICIAL WORLD1 ! WORLD ( (FICIALS4 ,! CONTEXT 9 :I* Y\'VE *OS5 TO FI<T Y\R /RUGGLE MAKES Y\R ACTS AMBIGU\S1 IT ROBS Y\R ACTS ( !IR 9T5TIONS & TURNS !M AGA9/ Y\4 

,Y\ HAV5'T BE5 UNCRITICAL ( ! 5VIRONM5T 9 :I* Y\'VE S\<T TO REALIZE Y\R PROJECTS4 ,9 FACT1 SOME ( Y\R CRITIQUES ( ! ACADEMIC WORLD >E DEVA/AT+ & !Y'VE BE5 V]Y 9/RUCTIVE & NOVEL TO ME BECAUSE ,I KN[ SO LITTLE AB\T IT4 ,YET H[ AM ,I TO UND]/& Y\R CRITIQUES IF Y\ CONCLUDE EV]Y ONE ( !M BY TELL+ ME ?IS WAS ! WORLD 9 :I* Y\ S\<T Y\R PROJECT & Y\R COMMUNITY8 ,W\LD Y\ UND]/& SOMEONE :O GAVE A LUCID ANALYSIS ( ! SOCIAL FUNCTION ( ! POLICE & CONCLUD$ BY TELL+ Y\ HE HAD JO9$ ! POLICE 9 ORD] TO /RUGGLE AGA9/ ITS SOCIAL FUNCTION8 ,I WON'T SAY ?AT ?IS SITUATION IS ID5TICAL TO Y\RS4 ,BUT !RE >E SIMIL>ITIES4 ,! SOCIAL FUNCTION ( BUREAUCRATIZ$ $UCATION & COMMUNICATION IS NOT ID5TICAL TO ! FUNCTION ( ! POLICE1 BUT ! TWO FUNCTIONS >E NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE & !IR CONSEQU5CES >E T]RIBLY SIMIL>4 ,A PRISON] :OSE HELPLESSNESS LEADS HIM TO SEEK \T GU>DS :O >E 0ON \R SIDE0 IS T]RIBLY SIMIL> TO ! WORK] :O ?9KS A POLITICIAN IS 0ON \R SIDE40 ,! PRISON]'S JU/IFICATION IS ?AT ! GU>DS >E >M$4 ,! PRISON]'S HUMAN PROSPECTS DO 9 FACT RESIDE 9 ! GU>D4 ,BUT A WORK] :O ?9KS HIS HUMAN PROSPECTS RESIDE 9 A POLITICIAN IS DELUD$4 ,HE IS IMPRISON$1 NOT BY CONCRETE WALLS & IRON B>S1 BUT BY DELUSIONS IMPLANT$ 9 HIS M9D4 ,! S*OOLS1 ! NEWSPAP]S1 ! (FICIAL & UN(FICIAL PROPAG&A MA*9ES1 ! PROCLAMATIONS ( ! RUL]S & ! 0CONSCI\SNESS-RAIS+0 CAMPAIGNS ( 0REVOLUTION>IES0 >E ! 9/RUM5TS :I* CREATE !SE DELUSIONS1 !Y >E ! WALLS & B>S :I* IMPRISON HIM4 

,Y\'VE TOLD ME ?AT 9 Y\R ACTIVITIES Y\ DIDN'T AIM TO IMPLANT ! RUL+ DELUSIONS BUT TO UND]M9E !M4 ,Y\'VE CONV9C$ ME AB\T ! 9TEGRITY ( Y\R 9T5TIONS4 ,BUT Y\'RE NOT AS LUCID AB\T Y\R [N 9T5TIONS AS Y\ >E AB\T ,DAMAN'S4 ,AS SOON AS HE BEGAN TALK+ AB\T HIS 9T5TION TO F\ND A NEWSPAP] 9 :I* ! 09H]5TLY REVOLUTION>Y0 WORK]S W\LD 0SPEAK = !MSELVES10 Y\ SPOTT$ ! SA9T1 ! PROPHET1 ! %EPH]D & GUIDE LURK+ BEH9D ! 9T5TIONS4 ,Y\'RE NOT NE>LY AS LUCID AB\T Y\RSELF4 ,SURR\ND$ BY PROPHETS1 POLITICIANS & ASPIR+ BUREAUCRATS1 Y\ F\<T = Y\R [N PROJECT ON A T]RA9 :]E ONLY !IRS C\LD GR[4 ,Y\ F\<T AGA9/ REPRESSION )9 ! REPRESSIVE APP>ATUS ITSELF4 ,Y\ DON'T CLAIM TO HAVE REALIZ$ ANY ( Y\R [N GOALS 9 ?AT CONTEXT1 BUT Y\ CLAIM ?AT IT WAS NOT Y\R 9T5TION TO CONTRIBUTE TO ! REALIZATION ( !IR GOALS4 ,>E Y\ SURE Y\ DIDN'T 9 FACT /R5G!N !IR GOALS1 ! APP>ATUS' GOALS1 BY Y\R M]E PRES5CE )9 IT8 ,DID Y\R 9T5TIONS REALLY MATT]8 

,IT'S NOT ,V]A'S 9T5TIONS ?AT MAKE H] A BUREAUCRAT BUT H] SOCIAL ACTIVITY4 ,H] 9T5TIONS >E 0TO F9D \R WAY \T ( BUREAUCRATIC ATTITUDES0 & TO 0CREATE AN ATMOSPH]E FAVORABLE TO ! GR[? ( 9ITIATIVE40 ,9 T]MS ( H] 9T5TIONS ,V]A IS PROBABLY /ILL ! DEVOT$ REVOLUTION>Y1 ! HUMOR\S & QUICK-WITT$ MILITANT Y\ REMEMB]4 ,I'M SURE ?AT 9 H] [N EYES %E'S DEVOT$1 NOT TO H]SELF1 BUT TO ! WORK]S' CAUSE1 NOT TO ! REPRESSIVE APP>ATUS BUT TO SOCIETY'S LIB]ATION FROM IT4 ,BUT 9 H] DAILY LIFE %E'S AN 9TEGRAL P>T ( ! REPRESSIVE APP>ATUS & %E'S DET]M9$ TO REMA9 )9 IT4 ,! BRIDGE BETWE5 H] 9T5TIONS & H] PRACTICE IS ! IDEOLOGY :I* ALL[S H] TO EQUATE H] [N SUCCESS ) ! SUCCESS ( ! WORK]S4 ,I'M SURE ,V]A IS CONV9C$ ?AT ! HI<] %E RISES 9 ! BUREAUCRATIC APP>ATUS1 ! CLOS] WE ALL >E TO 0F9D+ \R WAY \T ( BUREAUCRATIC ATTITUDES10 & ! GREAT] ! P[] %E & H] FRI5DS >E ABLE TO EX]CISE OV] ! RE/ ( SOCIETY1 ! MORE FAVORABLE ! ATMOSPH]E BECOMES = ! GR[? ( 9ITIATIVE4 ,%E ID5TIFIES H] IMPORTANCE 9 ! REPRESSIVE APP>ATUS ) ! WORK]S' CAUSE & H] FRE$OM TO EX]CISE REPRESSIVE P[]S ) SOCIETY'S LIB]ATION FROM REPRESSION4 

,IF ?IS REPRESSIVE IDEOLOGY W]E CONF9$ TO ,V]A ,KR5A1 %E C\LD BE DISMISS$ AS A V]Y CYNICAL & PR(\NDLY DELUD$ 9DIVIDUAL & ! RE/ ( US C\LD !N TURN TO LIFE'S REAL PROBLEMS4 ,BUT ,V]A'S DELUSIONS >E NOT CONF9$ TO ,V]A & ,ADRIAN2 !Y'RE %>$ TO SOME EXT5T BY ALL ( US1 EV5 BY PEOPLE :O CAN'T USE !SE DELUSIONS AS MASKS = !IR [N PRIVATE AMBITIONS4 ,V]A'S APPLAUD+ AUDI5CES %>E H] DELUSIONS2 PEOPLE ) :OM ,I WORK %>E !M2 ,Y>A %>ES !M2 Y\ %>E !M4 

,:5 WE %UT D[N ! C>TON PLANT 9 ORD] TO \/ ! UNION FUNCTION>Y1 WE BEGAN TO F9D \R WAY \T ( ! BUREAUCRATIC SOCIETY & TO CREATE AN ATMOSPH]E FAVORABLE TO \R [N GR[? & \R [N FRE$OM4 ,BUT :5 WE PRAISE ! SPEE* ( A RADIO POLITICIAN WE BACK AWAY FROM \R [N DE$ & RETURN TO ! SAFE T]RA9 ( ! (FICIAL DELUSION1 ! DELUSION ?AT WE CAN'T F9D \R [N WAY4 ,WE REV]T TO ! COM=T+ CONVICTION ?AT \R GR[? & \R FRE$OM >E BE+ REALIZ$ BY ONE OR ANO!R POLITICIAN4 ,&1 LIKE ,V]A ,KR5A & H] LIKES1 WE ID5TIFY \R [N GR[? & FRE$OM ) ! ADVANCEM5T & P[] ( POLITICIANS 0:O >E ON \R SIDE03 WE GIVE UP \R [N /RUGGLE & BECOME PASSIVE ADMIR]S & SUPPORT]S ( 0\R0 BUREAUCRAT2 WE R5\NCE \R PROJECTS & \R POT5TIALITIES & LODGE !M 9 0\R REPRES5TATIVES10 :O REALIZE !M = US4 

,! PROGRAMS & COMMITM5TS ( ,KR5A & ,POVR%AN >E NO?+ BUT VEILS :I* COV] !IR [N PRIVATE GOALS4 ,!ORIES ( LIB]ATION >E ! CLO!S ( DICTATORS4 ,V]A ,KR5A 0F9DS \R WAY \T ( BUREAUCRATIC ATTITUDES0 BY M>RY+ ! HEAD ( ! /ATE BANK1 BY US+ HIS 9FLU5CE TO IMPRISON ! UNIV]SITY RECTOR1 BY REPLAC+ ! =M] RECTOR1 BY RIS+ TO ! PO/ ( DEPUTY M9I/] ( ! IDEOLOGICAL COMMISSION4 ,V]A ,KR5A S]VES ! CAUSE ( ! WORK]S BY REVIV+ H] LOVE AFFAIR ) ,ADRIAN ,POVR%AN1 BY PROMOT+ ,POVR%AN TO MEMB] & !N *AIRMAN4 ,& WE SIT BY \R RADIOS & NEWSPAP]S1 ADMIR+ ! PROGRESS ( \R /RUGGLES & ! FL[]+ ( \R HUMANITY DUR+ ! (FICIAL DAILY SESSIONS & ! UN(FICIAL NI<TLY SESSIONS4 ,\R PROJECTS & \R FRE$OM BECOME M]E CONCEPTS2 ! REALITY BEH9D ! CONCEPTS CONSI/S ( ! LOVE AFFAIRS ( ! DEPUTY M9I/] & ! *AIRMAN ( ! COMMISSION = PROBLEMS ( /&>D ( LIV+4 ,\R /RUGGLE IS PLAY$ \T 9 ! CORRIDORS ( GOV]NM5T PALACES & ! B$ROOMS ( C\NTRY H\SES4 

,WE ID5TIFY \R LIVES ) ! PRIVATE LIVES ( BUREAUCRATS BECAUSE \R [N LIVES HAVE /OPP$ BE+ REAL TO US4 ,WE HAVE NO PROJECTS2 ONLY ! RUL]S HAVE PROJECTS4 ,IF WE NEV]!LESS WANT PROJECTS1 WE ?9K WE CAN HAVE !M ONLY 9 ! WORLD ( ! ALL-P[]FUL BUREAUCRATS1 NOT 9 ! WORLD WE %>E ) O!RS LIKE US4 ,?US WE SEEK TO REALIZE \RSELVES BY NEGAT+ \RSELVES4 ,WE SEEK TO EXPRESS \RSELVES1 NOT DIRECTLY1 NOT AS 9DIVIDUALS1 BUT 9DIRECTLY1 AS VOICES MAGNIFI$ A ?\S&FOLD BY ELECTRONIC 9/RUM5TS2 WE SEEK TO COMMUNICATE1 NOT )9 ! COMMUNITY ( \R LIKES1 BUT )9 ! COMMUNITY ( WRITT5 WORDS1 ! COMMUNITY ( NEWSPAP]S1 BOOKS & LEAFLETS4 ,BUT 9 ?AT COMMUNITY !RE IS NO COMMUNICATION BECAUSE ?AT'S NOT A HUMAN COMMUNITY1 & WE EI!R ACCEPT \R BUREAUCRATIC ASSIGNM5TS OR WE'RE EVICT$ AS \TSID]S4 ,I BELIEVE Y\ F\<T BRAVELY 9 ! UNIV]SITY & ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFFS1 BUT ,I DON'T BELIEVE Y\ TOOK ANY /EPS T[>D ! REALIZATION ( Y\R PROJECTS BECAUSE ,I DON'T BELIEVE SU* /EPS CAN BE TAK5 9 ?AT WORLD4 

,FROM \R VANTAGE PO9TS 9 REPRESSIVE SOCIETIES IT'S AS H>D TO IMAG9E A WORLD )\T NEWSPAP]S AS IT IS TO IMAG9E A COMMUNITY ( FREE HUMAN BE+S4 ,BUT IF Y\R :OLE LIFE HAS BE5 A SE>* = SU* A COMMUNITY1 H[ C\LD Y\ POSSIBLY HAVE ?\<T Y\'D F9D IT ON A NEWSPAP] /AFF8 ,A COMMUNITY ( FREE HUMAN BE+S IS FIR/ ( ALL A COMMUNITY 9 :I* EV]Y 9DIVIDUAL DEF9ES REALITY1 & IT IS ON ?IS BASIS ?AT ! COMMUNITY BUILDS ITS [N 5VIRONM5T4 ,J\RNALISM CAN ONLY EXI/ :]E !RE >E NO FREE HUMAN BE+S1 :]E !RE IS NO COMMUNITY4 ,! P]SON :O SPECIALIZES 9 9=M+ O!RS AB\T ! 0NEWS0 IS A USURP]4 ,! NEWSPAP] E/ABLI%ES A REALITY :I* IS COMMON TO ALL BUT ALI5 TO EA*1 A REALITY EXPRESS$ BY ALL :I* IS ! SELF-EXPRESSION ( NONE4 ,BY LETT+ 0! NEWS0 BE DEF9$ = US1 WE ALL[ \R DEF9ITION ( REALITY TO BE IMPOS$ ON US FROM \TSIDE \RSELVES & WE LOSE \R ABILITY TO DEF9E1 EXPRESS OR PROJECT \RSELVES2 WE LOSE PRECISELY ?OSE FACULTIES ?AT MAKE US COMMUNICATIVE & COMMUNAL ANIMALS1 ! FACULTIES ?AT MAKE US HUMAN BE+S4 

,Y\ TREAT Y\R EXCLUSION FROM ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] & FROM ! OPPOSITIONAL NEWSPAP] AS AN EXCLUSION FROM ,UTOPIA1 & Y\ DESCRIBE Y\R TRIP TO ,SAB9A'S G>AGE AS A DESC5T TO ! UND]WORLD4 ,9 ! NEWSPAP] WORLD Y\ SAW Y\RSELF AS A P>TICIPANT BUT 9 ,SAB9A'S WORLD Y\ SAW Y\RSELF AS A DISORI5T$ T\RI/4 ,YET ! G>AGE 9 :I* ,SAB9A & H] FRI5DS LIV$ IS AN 5VIRONM5T F> MORE FAMILI> TO ME ?AN ! WORLD ( ! UNIV]SITY OR ! NEWSPAP]4 ,Y\R DESC5T TO ,SAB9A'S WORLD IS A DESC5T TO MY WORLD4 ,I RECOGNIZE ! PEOPLE AS WELL AS ! ACTIVITIES3 ?OSE >E ! PEOPLE ) :OM ,I %>$ CELLS DUR+ BO? PRISON T]MS1 ?OSE >E ! ACTIVITIES & ! *OICES ,I CONFRONT$ :5 ,I WAS RELEAS$ FROM PRISON1 ?OSE >E ! ACTIVITIES 9 :I* MO/ ( ! PEOPLE ,I'VE KN[N HAVE 5GAG$4 ,I HOPE Y\'RE BEG9N+ TO UND]/& :Y ,I TREAT$ Y\R PREVI\S LETT]S AS ! LETT]S ( A /RANG]3 Y\ DESCRIBE MY WORLD AS A WORLD :I* IS F> /RANG]1 F> MORE EXOTIC TO Y\ ?AN Y\R WORLD EV] WAS TO ME4 

,NEV]!LESS1 Y\ DID DESC5D FROM ! WORLD ( ! NEWSPAP]1 EV5 IF NOT BY Y\R [N *OICE4 ,! MOM5TS DUR+ :I* Y\ CONSID]$ Y\R ALT]NATIVES 9 ! WORLD BEL[ ! PROPAG&A APP>ATUS MU/ HAVE BE5 V]Y MU* LIKE ! DAYS ,I SP5T FAC+ SIMIL> ALT]NATIVES AFT] MY FIR/ RELEASE4 ,AS SOON AS Y\ />T MOV+ 9 AN 5VIRONM5T V]Y MU* LIKE MY [N1 ,I UND]/& Y\ & ,I ADMIRE Y\4 ,I ?9K ,MIRNA WAS RI<T :5 %E COMP>$ Y\R C\RAGE AS WELL AS Y\R RECKLESSNESS TO ,JAN'S4 ,Y\ REFUS$ TO BECOME A PROTECT$ DAU<T] OR A PROTECT$ WIFE4 ,Y\ REFUS$ TO SELL Y\R LABOR = A WAGE4 ,Y\ LEFT Y\RSELF NO O!R *OICE BUT TO 0DESC5D0 YET FUR!R1 TO A PLACE Y\ CALL ! 0UND]WORLD40 ,& ONCE !RE1 Y\ REFUS$ TO SUBMIT TO ! REQUIREM5TS = SURVIVAL IMPOS$ BY ?AT WORLD4 ,Y\ REFUS$ TO SIT 9SIDE A DISPLAY W9D[ WAIT+ TO BE B\<T4 ,I'M OBVI\SLY V]Y 9T]E/$ 9 LE>N+ :AT Y\ DID DO 9 ! G>AGE OP]AT$ BY ,SAB9A & H] FRI5DS4 

,:5 Y\ WROTE AB\T Y\R SE>* = G5U9E FRI5DS & = A HUMAN COMMUNITY 9 ! WORLD ( ACADEMICS & J\RNALI/S1 ,I RESPOND$ ) HO/ILITY & ,I DIDN'T UND]/& Y\R SE>*4 ,BUT :5 Y\ C>RY ?AT SE>* 9TO ! WORLD ( ,TISSIE1 ,JOSE & ,SAB9A1 ,I SUDD5LY UND]/&4 ,?AT'S :Y ,I'D LIKE TO KN[ :AT Y\ DID 9 ,SAB9A'S WORLD1 :Y Y\ & ,SAB9A BO? LEFT IT1 :Y Y\R ONLY FRI5D TODAY IS ! P$AGOGUE ,DAMAN4 ,IT SEEMS TO ME ?AT Y\R SE>* IS TRANS=M$ AS SOON AS Y\ LEAVE ! ACADEMIC WORLD & DESC5D TO ! 0UND]WORLD40 ,LOOK+ = COMMUNITY 9 ! WORLD ( ACADEMICS IS LIKE LOOK+ = TRU/ AMONG 9=M]S OR = SYMPA?Y AMONG EXECUTION]S4 ,9 ?AT WORLD IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO DI/+UI% ! DESIRE = SELF-REALIZATION AS A HUMAN BE+ FROM ! DESIRE = SELF-REALIZATION AS A BUREAUCRAT4 ,IT'S ONLY :5 Y\ DESC5D AMONG ?OSE :O >E NO?+ 9 ?IS SOCIETY ?AT Y\R SE>* BECOMES MEAN+FUL AS A /RUGGLE AGA9/ ?IS SOCIETY4 ,TISSIE1 ,JOSE1 ,T$ >E NO?+2 9 ORD] TO BECOME ANY?+ AT ALL !Y HAVE TO BECOME EV]Y?+ ALL AT ONCE1 & ?AT CAN ONLY HAPP5 ?R\< ! COMPLETE DE/RUCTION ( ?IS SOCIETY4 ,= !M !RE >E NEI!R TRANSITIONAL /AGES NOR ILLUSORY VICTORIES ALONG ! WAY TO SELF-REALIZATION4 ,TO LOOK = A HUMAN COMMUNITY AMONG !M IS TO LOOK = ! DE/RUCTION ( EV]Y?+ ?AT MAKES !M & !IR LIKES AN 0UND]WORLD40 

,I ?9K ,I %>E Y\R LIFELONG COMMITM5T4 ,BUT ,I ALSO ?9K Y\ DON'T GRASP ! NATURE ( ?AT COMMITM5T4 ,Y\ /ILL REF] TO \R EXP]I5CE 9 ! C>TON PLANT TW5TY YE>S AGO AS ! ORIG9AL /IMULUS = Y\R COMMITM5T4 ,I ?9K ! PROJECT & COMMUNITY Y\ SEEK W]E AS ABS5T FROM ?AT EXP]I5CE AS !Y W]E FROM ALL Y\R SUBSEQU5T EXP]I5CES4 ,I ?9K ?AT EXP]I5CE PLAY$ AN ALTOGE!R DIFF]5T ROLE 9 Y\R LIFE FROM ! ONE Y\ ATTRIBUTE TO IT4 ,I ?9K Y\R ATTA*M5T TO ?AT EXP]I5CE /EMS FROM A DESIRE TO MAT]IALIZE Y\R DREAMS1 A DESIRE TO VISUALIZE :AT CANNOT BE VISUALIZ$1 A DESIRE TO RESURRECT :AT CAN ONLY BE CREAT$4 ,I %>E Y\R COMMITM5T IF IT'S A COMMITM5T1 NOT TO A CORPSE1 BUT TO A COMMUNITY ?AT HAS NEV] EXI/$1 A COMMUNITY ?AT CANNOT COEXI/ ) ! WORLD ?AT REPRESSES IT4 ,BUT ,I DON'T %>E Y\R UND]/&+ ( ?AT COMMITM5T3 BY LOCAT+ ITS S\RCE 9 A REPRESSIVE EXP]I5CE1 Y\ MAKE ! GOAL ITSELF REPRESSIVE4 

,YET ,I ALSO UND]/& Y\R DESIRE TO RESURRECT ! PA/4 ,Y\'RE NOT UNIQUE 9 HAV+ SU* A DESIRE4 ,:5 ,I WAS FIR/ RELEAS$ FROM PRISON ,I WANT$ TO RELIVE ! V]Y EXP]I5CE Y\'VE PLAC$ AT ! C5T] ( Y\R LIFE4 ,LUISA'S LIFE HAS REVOLV$ >\ND ! REVOLUTION %E EXP]I5C$ BE=E %E CAME H]E4 ,EV]Y POLITICIAN SEEMS TO BE MOTIVAT$ BY ! DREAM ( /EPP+ 9TO ! %OES ( A PA/ PROPHET1 DICTATOR OR EXECUTION]4 ,NOR IS ?IS DESIRE TO RESURRECT ! PA/ CONF9$ TO PRIE/S & POLITICIANS4 ,IT'S PROBABLY %>$ BY ALL 9DIVIDUALS :O HAVE DESIRES4 ,I ?9K IT'S RELAT$ TO Y\R COMMITM5T1 BUT V]Y DIFF]5TLY FROM ! WAY Y\ SAY IT IS4 

,AFT] MY FIR/ RELEASE FROM PRISON ,I W\LD PROBABLY HAVE EXPRESS$ MYSELF 9 T]MS V]Y SIMIL> TO Y\RS4 ,I DIDN'T ONLY FEEL HO/ILE T[>D ! POLICE SOCIETY 9TO :I* ,I HAD BE5 RELEAS$2 ,I ALSO FELT ?AT ,I HAD LO/ SOME?+1 ?AT SOME?+ WAS MISS+1 SOME?+ ,I HAD LE>N$ TO WANT4 ,LIKE Y\ ,I ?\<T ?AT ?IS MISS+ ELEM5T WAS SOME?+ ,I HAD POSSESS$ SOMETIME 9 ! PA/1 P]HAPS DUR+ ! AGITATION AT ! C>TON PLANT OR DUR+ ! RESI/ANCE1 OR P]HAPS ONLY :5 ,I HAD LI/5$ TO ,LUISA'S ACC\NTS ( ! REVOLUTION %E HAD EXP]I5C$4 ,I WAS CONV9C$ ?AT ,I HAD BE5 :OLE & ALIVE 9 ! PA/ & ,I WANT$ TO BE :OLE & ALIVE AGA92 ,I WANT$ TO RESURRECT ! PA/ SITUATION4 ,IF MY MEMORY ISN'T EXAGG]AT+ ,I ?9K ,I WAS AT ?AT TIME CONV9C$ ?AT ANYONE :O HAD EXP]I5C$ SU* A COMMUNITY & WANT$ TO RESURRECT IT WAS AN 9SURG5T1 MY COMRADE & MY LIKE4 

,I S5S$ ?AT ,MIRNA HAD A SIMIL> DREAM & A SIMIL> COMMITM5T4 ,I ?\<T ?AT %E TOO HAD LO/ A COMMUNITY & ?AT %E TOO WAS COMMITT$ TO RESURRECT+ H] LO/ COMMUNITY4 ,I IDEALIZ$ ! VILLAGE :]E %E SP5T ! FIR/ SIX YE>S ( H] LIFE4 ,I IMAG9$ %E HAD LO/ ! REBIR? ( PLANT LIFE 9 SPR+TIME1 ! SUMM] WALKS 9 ! C\NTRYSIDE1 ! *ORES AS WELL AS ! FE/IVALS1 ! WOOD BURN+ DUR+ ! LONG W9T]4 ,ABOVE ALL ,I ?\<T %E HAD LO/ A WORLD ( HUMAN BE+S EA* ( :OM HAD RECOGNIZ$ ! O!R'S HUMANITY4 

,! W> & ! OCCUPATION HAD DRIV5 ! ,S$LAKS \T ( ?AT COMMUNITY4 ,!Y HAD TRI$ TO RESURRECT ! VILLAGE 5VIRONM5T ON ! FR+ES ( ?IS BUREAUCRATIC CITY4 ,MIRNA SEEM$ AWKW>D & \T ( PLACE2 ,I 9T]PRET$ H] AWKW>DNESS AS A =M ( RESI/ANCE TO ! 5VIRONM5T TO :I* %E'D BE5 BR\<T1 AS A =M ( AFFIRMATION ( ! COMMUNITY %E'D BE5 =C$ TO AB&ON4 ,I SAW ,MIRNA AS A PATI5T BUT COMMITT$ 9SURG5T DET]M9$ NOT TO LOSE =EV] ! COMMUNAL RELATION%IPS %E HAD ONCE EXP]I5C$4 ,I UND]/OOD ,MIRNA'S LIFE ! SAME WAY ,I UND]/OOD MY [N1 ! SAME WAY Y\ /ILL UND]/& Y\RS4 ,I ?\<T ALL H] GE/URES1 9CLUD+ H] ATTA*M5T TO ME1 W]E MOTIVAT$ BY A SE>* SIMIL> TO M9E1 A SE>* = SOME?+ LO/1 = SOME?+ MISS+1 = SOME?+ %E HAD LE>N$ TO WANT4 

,I WAS AS WRONG AB\T ,MIRNA AS ,I WAS AB\T MYSELF4 ,& ,I'M CONV9C$ Y\'RE JU/ AS WRONG AB\T Y\RSELF4 ,! COMMUNITY ,I ?\<T ,MIRNA HAD LO/ WAS A PRODUCT ( MY IMAG9ATION4 ,H] ACTUAL VILLAGE WAS NO MORE ( A COMMUNITY ?AN ! NEI<BORHOOD 9TO :I* H] FAMILY SETTL$ ON ! \TSKIRTS ( ! CITY4 ,LAT] ON ,MIRNA TOLD ME ?AT :5 %E'D /ILL LIV$ 9 H] VILLAGE %E'D DREAM$ ONLY ( MOV+ TO ! CITY1 & ONCE 9 ! CITY %E NEV] DREAM$ ( RETURN+ TO ! VILLAGE4 ,I DON'T KN[ IF A G5U9E COMMUNITY EV] EXI/$ 9 A PEASANT VILLAGE4 ,I D\BT IT4 ,EV5 IF IT DID1 ?IS COMMUNITY DIS9TEGRAT$ SO LONG AGO ?AT \R MEMORIES C\LDN'T POSSIBLY RETA9 ANY TRACE ( IT4 ,MIRNA'S VILLAGE1 LIKE ALL ! O!R VILLAGES ?AT SURVIVE TODAY1 WAS A FOOD FACTORY2 ITS 9HABITANTS W]E COMMODITY PRODUC]S2 ITS PROJECT WAS ! PRODUCTION & SALE ( M]*&ISE4 

,I IDEALIZ$ ,MIRNA'S VILLAGE = ! SAME REASON ?AT ,I IDEALIZ$ MY [N PA/ EXP]I5CE3 BECAUSE IT WAS 9 ! PA/4 ,S9CE ?AT PA/ EXP]I5CE EXI/$ ONLY 9 MY MEMORY1 ,I CONT9UALLY 9FUS$ IT ) PRES5T DESIRES UNTIL IT GREW 9TO A GOLD5 AGE1 A ,UTOPIA ?AT CONTA9$ EV]Y?+ MY PRES5T LACK$4 ,I ?9K ?IS IS :AT Y\'VE DONE ) Y\R EXP]I5CE 9 ! C>TON PLANT4 ,Y\'VE MADE IT Y\R ,UTOPIA4 ,Y\'VE CONV9C$ Y\RSELF ?AT IT HAD CONTA9$ PEOPLE1 RELATIONS & PROJECTS Y\ HAV5'T BE5 ABLE TO F9D S9CE4 ,BUT BY DO+ ?IS WE TURN$ \R HEADS BACKW>D :ILE WE CONT9U$ TO WALK =W>D4 ,MY UND]/&+ ( ,MIRNA WASN'T ONLY WRONG2 IT WAS 9V]T$4 ,MIRNA H]SELF1 UNLIKE Y\ & ME1 NEV] LOOK$ = H] FUTURE 9 H] PA/4 ,%E WASN'T SELF-SATISFI$1 LIKE ! NUM]\S COMPLAC5T PATRIOTS :OM NEI!R Y\ NOR ,I SEEM TO 9CLUDE AMONG \R ACQUA9TANCES4 ,%E WASN'T SUBMISSIVE1 LIKE H] MO!R1 :O ACCEPT$ :ATEV] HAPP5$ AS ! 9EVITABLE UNW9D+ ( FATE4 ,NOR WAS %E AN OPPORTUNI/ LIKE ?OSE ( \R FRI5DS :O WAIT$ = A BUY] TO (F] !M A FUTURE 9 EX*ANGE = !IR LIVES4 ,MIRNA'S LIFE1 LIKE Y\RS & M9E1 WAS MOTIVAT$ BY A SE>*4 ,BUT IT WASN'T A SE>* = SOME?+ %E HAD LO/4 ,IF SOME?+ WAS MISS+ 9 H] URBAN WORLD1 IT WASN'T SOME?+ ?AT HAD EXI/$ 9 H] VILLAGE4 ,:ATEV] WAS MISS+ 9 H] PRES5T HAD ALREADY BE5 MISS+ 9 H] PA/4 ,:AT %E FELT 9 ! CITY WAS NOT NO/ALGIA = ! VILLAGE BUT RELIEF AT HAV+ LEFT IT4 

,NE> ! 5D ( Y\R LETT] Y\ SAY ?AT = ME 0IT'S SO CLE> & OBVI\S :]E ! OPPORTUNISM LIES40 ,I ONLY WI% IT W]E CLE> & OBVI\S4 ,TO ME IT'S ONLY CLE> & OBVI\S ?AT DUR+ MO/ ( ! TIME ,I'VE SP5T \T ( PRISON ,I'VE COLLABORAT$ 9 ! REPRODUCTION ( ! REPRESSIVE APP>ATUS4 ,TO ME IT'S CLE> & OBVI\S ?AT :ATEV] IT WAS ,MIRNA S\<T1 %E HAS ONLY MOV$ FUR!R AWAY FROM IT4 ,IT'S NOT SO CLE> :]E ! OPPORTUNISM LIES4 ,WE'VE SOLD \R LIVES 9 ORD] TO SURVIVE4 ,9 ?IS RESPECT WE DON'T DIFF] FROM ,V]A1 ,ADRIAN1 OR ,M>C ,GLAVNI4 ,!Y W]E ONCE REBELS TOO1 LIKE Y\ & ME2 !Y TOO W]E MOTIVAT$ BY A SE>* = SOME?+ MISS+2 !Y TOO FELT DESIRES ?AT W]E REPRESS$ BY ! RUL+ SOCIETY4 ,BUT UNLIKE ,MIRNA1 Y\ & ME1 !Y DIDN'T SELL ONLY !IR LIVES 9 ORD] TO SURVIVE2 !Y ALSO SOLD !IR DESIRES4 ,!Y W]5'T UNWILL+ COLLABORATORS 9 ! REPRODUCTION ( ! REPRESSIVE APP>ATUS BUT BECAME ITS C>RI]S & ITS FUNCTION>IES4 ,!Y APPROPRIAT$ ITS DESIRE1 ! DESIRE TO CONTA91 REPRESS & EXT+UI% ! HUMANITY ( EA*4 ,! EXT9CTION ( !IR 9ITIAL GOAL BECAME !IR PROJECT2 !Y REALIZ$ !MSELVES )9 ! APP>ATUS ?AT MAKES SELF-REALIZATION IMPOSSIBLE4 ,V]A1 ,M>C1 ,ADRIAN & ,CLAUDE >E ON ! UPP] LEVELS ( A PYRAMID :ILE WE'RE AT ITS BASE4 ,WE'VE WANT$ & WE'VE TRI$ TO OV]?R[ ! PYRAMID YET WE'VE BE5 AMONG ?OSE :O SUPPORT$ IT4 ,WE DID IT 9 ORD] TO SURVIVE4 ,WE W]E OPPORTUNI/S TO ?AT EXT5T4 ,WE SOLD \R HUMANITY 9 ORD] TO KEEP IT4 ,BY SELL+ IT WE LO/ IT1 WE M]ELY ADD$ TO ! WEI<T ?AT CRU%$ US4 ,BY SURVIV+ WE KEPT ALIVE1 NOT \R HUMANITY BUT AT LEA/ ITS POT5TIAL4 ,& BY KEEP+ ALIVE ?AT POT5TIAL1 ?AT NO?+ :I* CAN AT ANY MOM5T BECOME SOME?+1 WE'VE KEPT ALIVE A FLAME ?AT CAN AT ANY MOM5T SET FIRE TO ! 5TIRE BUREAUCRATIC PYRAMID WE CALL SOCIETY4 ,I ?9K AN OPPORTUNI/ IS AN 9DIVIDUAL :O EXT+UI%ES ?AT FLAME1 & ,I ?9K :AT Y\ CALL Y\R SE>* = A COMMUNITY IS ! /RUGGLE TO KEEP ?AT POT5TIAL ALIVE4 

,:5 ,MIRNA & ,I W]E M>RI$ WE CONFIRM$ ! REALITY ( \R DESIRES BECAUSE WE F\ND !M 9 EA* O!R4 ,BO? ( US EXPECT$ ! FUTURE TO BE NO?+ LIKE ! PRES5T OR ! PA/ & EA* ( US ?\<T ?IS FUTURE WAS GU>ANTE$ BY ! O!R4 ,WE W]E BO? WRONG4 ,AFT] \R M>RIAGE ! WORLD REMA9$ ! SAME4 ,! ONLY *ANGE WAS ?AT ,I REPLAC$ H] BRO!R 9 H] P>5TS' H\SE4 ,WE CONT9U$ TO LIVE ON ! \TSKIRTS ( ! CITY1 & URBAN WORK] ?\< ,I WAS1 ,I DROVE A BUS -- JU/ LIKE H] FA!R4 ,MIRNA'S 5?USIASM1 H] LU/ = LIFE1 ADV5TURE & *ANGE1 W]E FRU/RAT$4 ,%E TALK$ LESS4 ,\R WALKS GREW %ORT]4 ,%E DIDN'T TELL ME %E WAS UNHAPPY2 %E DIDN'T EV5 H9T ?AT %E WANT$ TO LEAVE H] P>5TS' H\SE4 ,NOT ?AT ,I WAS OBS]VANT 5\< TO UND]/& A H9T4 ,I WAS TOO BUSY PROSELYTIZ+1 TELL+ H] AB\T ,LUISA'S EXP]I5CES4 ,%E MADE ME FEEL SELF-CONSCI\S1 JU/ AS ,JAN DID :5EV] HE CAME TO VISIT4 ,I TALK$1 & ,I REMA9$ :]E ,I WAS4 ,I EV5 TALK$ AB\T DRIV+ ?AT WRET*$ BUS & ,I CONT9U$ TO DRIVE IT4 ,IT WAS ,JAN :O F9ALLY PUT AN 5D TO A SITUATION ?AT C\LDN'T HAVE GONE ON MU* LONG]4 ,HE ASK$ IF ,I'D BE WILL+ TO WORK 9 ! VEHICLE REPAIR DEPOT :]E HE WORK$1 AT ! OPPOSITE 5D ( ! CITY4 ,! POSSIBILITY ( WORK+ ) ,JAN APPEAL$ TO ME1 BUT ,I DIDN'T LIKE ! IDEA ( SP5D+ TWO H\RS A DAY TRAVEL+ ON A BUS 9 ADDITION TO EI<T H\RS AT ! DEPOT4 

0,Y\ C\LD GET AN AP>TM5T10 ,JAN SUGGE/$4 0,MIRNA W\LD WELCOME ! *ANGE40 

,I OBVI\SLY DIDN'T GO TO ! DEPOT TO APPLY = ! JOB4 ,SU* A PROC$URE IS >*AIC UND] ! DICTATOR%IP ( ! PROLET>IAT4 ,I DON'T REALLY KN[ IF ANYONE GETS A JOB ?AT WAY ANY MORE4 ,I GOT MY SECOND JOB ! SAME WAY ,I'D GOTT5 ! BUS-DRIV+ JOB4 ,JAN W5T TO ! TRADE UNION BUILD+ NEXT DOOR TO ! DEPOT1 SPOKE TO ,TITUS ,ZABRAN1 & ,TITUS PULL$ /R+S4 ,AN (FICIAL PULL$ /R+S4 ,& SOME WORK]S ,I'VE MET ?\<T !Y'D WON A VICTORY TW5TY YE>S AGO6 ,I DIDN'T EV5 HAVE TO GO TO ,TITUS' (FICE ! SECOND TIME4 ,JAN W5T ALONE4 ,HE TOLD ME ,TITUS PICK$ UP ! PHONE1 LI/$ ! QUALIFICATIONS ( 0! ME*ANIC1 ,MIRAN ,S$LAK10 & TOLD ,JAN ?AT ,I W\LD />T WORK+ 9 ! DEPOT ! FOLL[+ ,MONDAY4 ,I SUPPOSE EV]YONE MU/ KN[ SOMEONE LIKE ,TITUS ,ZABRAN4 ,I WOND] :AT HAPP5S TO PEOPLE :O DON'T4 ,?IS WAS ! ?IRD TIME HE HAD PULL$ ME \T ( A TRAP1 & IT WASN'T ! LA/4 ,:AT GAVE ,TITUS ,ZABRAN ! P[] TO PULL /R+S8 ,MY P[]LESSNESS4 ,IF ,I HAD PICK$ UP ! TELEPHONE & 9TRODUC$ MYSELF AS ,Y>O/AN OR ,MIRAN1 ! P]SON AT ! O!R 5D W\LD HAVE LAU<$ & SAID1 0,COMRADE1 IF Y\'RE NOT AN (FICIAL Y\ CAN'T BE HE>D2 ?IS IS A PEOPLE'S DEMOCRACY40 

,= SEV]AL WEEKS ,I ACTUALLY 5JOY$ MY NEW JOB4 ,I HAD REPAIR$ PRESSES 9 ! C>TON PLANT1 BUT ,I HAD NEV] DISMANTL$ A VEHICLE4 ,I WAS IMPRESS$ BY ! +5UITY ( ! G5]ATIONS ( WORKM5 :O HAD CONNECT$ ! P[] ( AN 5G9E TO ! MOTION ( AXLES & :EELS )\T CONC]N+ !MSELVES AB\T ! USE TO :I* !IR WORK W\LD BE PUT4 ,W\LD !Y HAVE WORK$ SO H>D IF !Y HAD KN[N :AT !IR WORK WAS =1 OR DIDN'T !Y C>E8 ,AFT] ! FIR/ FEW WEEKS ! WORK BECAME FAMILI> & !N R\T9E4 ,MY 9ITIAL AWE GAVE WAY TO RES5TM5T T[>D ! T9K]]S :O HAD GIV5 !IR LIVES TO ! PROJECT ( TRANSPORT+ EV] L>G] QUANTITIES ( COMMODITIES ) EV] GREAT] SPE$4 ,WORK+ ALONGSIDE ,JAN1 ,I C\LDN'T =GET :AT MY WORK WAS =1 BECAUSE HE CONT9UALLY REM9D$ ME4 ,ONCE1 :5 ,I WAS /ILL NEW ON ! JOB1 ,I W5T ON WORK+ ON AN 5G9E :5 ! O!RS TOOK A SMOK+ BREAK4 ,JAN GRABB$ MY WR5* & ASK$1 0,:AT'S Y\R HURRY1 BRO!R8 ,IF ! BUSSES PILE UP1 SOME PEOPLE WON'T BE ABLE TO GET TO WORK & !Y'LL HAVE A DAY (F40 ,HE DIDN'T LET ANY ( US =GET ?AT ! BUSSES DIDN'T S]VE \R AIMS BUT ONLY ! MANAG]S'1 ! BUREAUCRACY'S1 ! /ATE'S AIMS1 & ?AT ! FA/] WE WORK$ ! MORE WE 9CREAS$ ! P[] ( ! =CES ?AT POLIC$ US4 ,JAN DIDN'T LET ANY ( US =GET ?AT ?OSE VEHICLES W]E NOT \R PROTECT4 

,IT WAS DUR+ ?OSE FIR/ WEEKS ON MY NEW JOB1 :5 ,MIRNA & ,I W]E /ILL LIV+ AT H] P>5TS' H\SE1 ?AT ,I /OPP$ TRY+ TO CONV]T MY HO/S TO ! WISDOM ,I HAD LE>N$ FROM ,LUISA4 ,I F9ALLY GAVE UP ! PROJECT ,I HAD EMBRAC$ SO 5?USIA/ICALLY :5 ,I'D FIR/ VISIT$ ! ,S$LAKS1 ! PROJECT ( 0GO+ TO ! PEOPLE0 ) NEWS AB\T A PA/ EXP]I5CE4 ,IT WASN'T ONLY ,JAN'S HO/ILITY T[>D MY MISSION>Y ACTIVITY ?AT MADE ME GIVE IT UP BUT ALSO MY [N GR[+ HO/ILITY T[>DS IT4 ,I BECAME RIDICUL\S TO MYSELF4 ,MY SITUATION1 MY DAILY ACTIVITY1 MADE ME S5SE ?AT MY CLOSELY REASON$ >GUM5TS W]E 9COH]5T1 CONTRADICTORY & IRRATIONAL4 ,I SP5T AN H\R EV]Y MORN+ & ANO!R EV]Y EV5+ ON A CR[D$ BUS1 USUALLY /&+1 LETT+ MYSELF BE CONVEY$ TO & FROM A G>AGE :]E ,I REPAIR$ BUSSES4 ,SOME ( MY FELL[ PASS5G]S RODE TO FACTORIES :]E !Y PRODUC$ ! TOOLS OR ! P>TS ) :I* ,I REPAIR$ ! BUSSES4 ,I SP5T ALL ! MOTION ( MY LIMBS TI<T5+ *A9S ?AT B\ND US TO A MON/]1 YET EV]Y EV5+ ,I SPOKE TO MY HO/S AB\T A COMMUNITY ( FREE HUMAN BE+S4 ,I HAD LE>N$ AB\T SU* A COMMUNITY FROM ,LUISA4 ,ONE ( MY FAVORITE /ORIES HAD TO DO ) WORK]S :O DROVE & REPAIR$ #a BUSSES4 ,I TOLD IT TO ! ,S$LAKS AS 5?USIA/ICALLY AS ,LUISA HAD 3 TOLD IT ME ME4 ,BUS DRIV]S & BUS REPAIRM5 LIKE ,I1 LIKE ,JAN & HIS FA!R1 HAD ONCE TURN$ AGA9/ ! MON/]2 !Y HAD TAK5 OV] ! 5TIRE TRANSPORTATION NETWORK ( !IR CITY4 ,LIKE A S*OOLBOY RECIT+ A MEMORIZ$ LESSON ,I /RESS$ ! FACT ?AT %ORTLY AFT] ! TAKEOV] ! BUSSES W]E AGA9 RUNN+ ON S*$ULE1 !Y W]E AGA9 TRANSPORT+ WORK]S TO FACTORIES & BUY]S TO M>KETS1 !Y W]E AGA9 REPAIR$4 ,! WORK]S !MSELVES W]E DO+ )\T CAPITALI/S & MANAG]S EXACTLY :AT !Y HAD DONE ) CAPITALI/S & MANAG]S4 ,9 O!R WORDS1 ) NAIVE 5?USIASM ,I TOLD MY HO/S1 OV] & OV] AGA91 ?AT WORK]S HAD DEFEAT$ ! MON/] & YET REMA9$ *A9$ TO IT4 ,MY HO/S DIDN'T RESPOND2 !Y EVID5TLY DIDN'T UND]/& :Y ,I WAS SO 5?USIA/IC1 & !Y OBVI\SLY DIDN'T ?9K ?AT SU* A VICTORY WAS WOR? A DROP ( A WORK]'S BLOOD4 

,LET Y\R FRI5D ,DAMAN CALL ME AN 09TELLECTUAL40 ,I WAS $UCAT$ & 9=M$ BY ,LUISA IF BY NO ONE ELSE4 ,BECAUSE ( ?IS $UCATION ,I HAD TO ?9K H>D 9 ORD] TO FIGURE \T :AT WAS P]FECTLY OBVI\S TO ,JAN & HIS FA!R4 ,:O BUT WORK]S HAVE EV] DRIV5 & REPAIR$ BUSSES8 ,:O BUT WORK]S HAVE EV] TRANSPORT$ O!R WORK]S TO & FROM FACTORIES8 ,IF ?OSE WORK]S F\<T ON B>RICADES 9 ORD] TO DO VOLUNT>ILY :AT !Y'D BE5 =C$ TO DO BE=E1 !N !RE WAS SOME?+ WRONG ) ?OSE WORK]S1 OR ELSE ) ,LUISA'S /ORY4 ,BUT MY HO/S W]E POLITE4 ,!Y DIDN'T ASK ME IF ,I'D BE WILL+ TO RISK MY LIFE 9 ORD] TO DRIVE A BUS 0ON MY [N40 ,!Y'D HE>D SU* MEAN+LESS J>GON BE=E3 ON ! RADIO4 ,!Y /ILL HAD HI< HOPES = ME4 

,BUT ,I LO/ MY MISSION>Y ZEAL AS WELL AS MY SELF-ASSURANCE & GREW 9CREAS+LY DEPRESS$4 ,EV]Y?+ ,I KNEW WAS FALSE & EV]Y?+ ,I DID WAS H>MFUL4 ,ON BALANCE IT WAS MY ACTIVITY ?AT BO!R$ ME MORE ?AN MY IGNORANCE1 BECAUSE ,I SP5T ONLY AN H\R A DAY TALK+ COMP>$ TO ! T5 ,I SP5T WORK+ & TRAVEL+4 ,Y\'RE P]FECTLY RI<T4 ,SURVIVAL OR NOT1 !RE'S ONLY ONE WORD = ?AT ACTIVITY4 ,IT'S PRO/ITUTION4 ,FROM MORN+ TO NI<T ,I SOLD MYSELF1 ,I EX*ANG$ MY LIFE = A SUM ( MONEY4 ,:AT ,I KNEW OR ?\<T ,I KNEW WAS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT4 ,I SOLD MYSELF :5 ,I WAS A MISSION>Y & ,I CONT9U$ SELL+ MYSELF AFT] ,I /OPP$ BE+ A MISSION>Y4 ,! ONLY CONCRETE ?+ ,I DID ) MY LIFE WAS TO KEEP SOME BUSSES RUNN+1 TO CONTRIBUTE TO ! EFFICI5T CIRCULATION ( COMMODITIES & LABOR P[]4 ,! HOPES ,MIRNA & ,I HAD %>$ VANI%$ LIKE *ILDHOOD ILLUSIONS AB\T ! ADULT WORLD4 

,:ILE ,I BECAME 9CREAS+LY DEPRESS$1 ,MIRNA GREW MORE HOPEFUL4 ,VESNA WAS BORN %ORTLY BE=E ,I GOT MY NEW JOB1 & TO ,MIRNA ! BIR? ( ! *ILD & MY JOB TRANSF] W]E ! FIR/ ( A S]IES ( *ANGES ?AT W]E GO+ TO TRANS=M \R LIVES4 ,MY JOB TRANSF] CONFIRM$ SOME ( H] MORE EXTRAVAGANT EXPECTATIONS4 ,ONE DAY1 AFT] ,I COMPLA9$ BITT]LY AB\T ! SOCIAL FUNCTION ( MY NEW JOB1 %E SAID1 0,DON'T BE SU* A PESSIMI/2 ?AT'S ONLY A BEG9N+40 ,A BEG9N+ ( :AT8 ,I DIDN'T ASK H] BUT ,I ?9K ,I KNEW4 ,IT WAS ! BEG9N+ ( \R J\RNEY FROM ! VILLAGE TO AN IMAG9>Y PLACE :]E ALL DESIRES C\LD BE FULFILL$4 ,9 H] EYES ,I HAD APP>5TLY /EPP$ BACKW>D 9TO ! VILLAGE :5 ,I HAD BECOME A BUS DRIV] LIKE H] FA!R4 ,! MOVE TO H] BRO!R'S JOB WAS A MOVE \T ( ! VILLAGE4 ,JAN LIV$ BY HIMSELF 9 ! CITY2 HE DIDN'T GR[ *ICK5S OR POTATOES 9 HIS [N BACK Y>D2 HE WAS NO LONG] A PEASANT BUT A WORK]4 ,& ! FACT ?AT ,I MOV$ AT ALL CONFIRM$ H] MO/ PR(\ND HOPE3 IT CONFIRM$ ?AT ,I WAS ABLE TO MOVE4 

,BUT IT WAS ONLY AFT] ,I HAD BE5 ON MY NEW JOB = SEV]AL WEEKS1 AFT] ,I ASK$ H] IF %E WANT$ TO MOVE CLOS] TO ! C5T] ( ! CITY1 ?AT ,MIRNA EXPRESS$ ANY ( ?IS4 

0,AN AP>TM5T 9 ! CITY60 %E EXCLAIM$4 0,IF Y\ ONLY KNEW H[ LONG ,I'VE DREAM$ ( ?AT & H[ AFRAID ,I'VE BE5 ?AT ,I'D NEV] GET !RE4 ,( C\RSE ,I WANT AN AP>TM5T 9 ! CITY6 ,!RE'S NO REASON = ,VESNA TO BE BR\<T UP BY MY MO!R :5 %E'S ALREADY SO CLOSE TO A DIFF]5T K9D ( LIFE4 ,H[ BADLY ,I'VE WANT$ TO LEAVE1 ,Y>O/AN6 ,I HATE IT H]E6 ,DIDN'T Y\ KN[80 

,IF ,I HADN'T KN[N1 ,I KNEW !N4 ,IT BECAME V]Y CLE> TO ME :Y MY NEW JOB WAS A 0BEG9N+40 ,IT WAS ! BEG9N+ ( ,MIRNA'S F9AL BREAK ) ! VILLAGE1 ! BEG9N+ ( ,MIRNA'S J\RNEY TO ! DREAM WORLD %E HAD SE5 FROM F> AWAY3 ! BEG9N+ ( ,VESNA'S UPBR++ AS AN URBAN WORK]1 A CITIZ51 SOMEONE LIKE ,JAN & ,SAB9A2 ! BEG9N+ ( A DIFF]5T K9D ( LIFE4 

,S9CE NEI!R ( US HAD TO BE CONV9C$1 \R NEXT PROBLEM WAS TO F9D AN AP>TM5T4 ,V>I\S MONUM5TS W]E BUILT AFT] ! W> TO CELEBRATE ! WORK]S' VICTORY1 BUT V]Y LITTLE HAD BE5 DONE TO H\SE ! VICTORI\S WORK]S4 ,! CONSCI\SNESS ( ! WORK+ CLASS HAD TO BE H\S$ FIR/1 & ALL ! NEW BUILD+S W]E 9HABIT$ ALMO/ EXCLUSIVELY BY BUREAUCRATS4 ,I C\LD HAVE TURN$ TO ,TITUS ,ZABRAN ONCE AGA9 BUT ,I HAD MISGIV+S AB\T ! /R+S HE HAD ALREADY PULL$ = ME4 ,I DECID$ TO CONSULT ! PEOPLE ) :OM ,I WORK$ 9 ! DEPOT4 ,?AT WAS H[ ,JAN HAD F\ND HIS PLACE3 A WORK] (F]$ TO %>E HIS AP>TM5T ) ,JAN4 ,BUT S9CE !RE W]E ?REE ( US1 ?IS POSSIBILITY WAS \T ( ! QUE/ION4 ,MY FELL[ WORK]S PROMIS$ TO KEEP !IR EYES OP5 = ANY VACANCIES ?AT MI<T TURN UP 9 !IR NEI<BORHOODS4 

,BUT WEEKS PASS$1 & !N MON?S4 ,MIRNA GREW IMPATI5T4 ,%E DECID$ TO LOOK ON H] [N4 ,%E VISIT$ ADDRESSES ADV]TIS$ 9 ! NEWSPAP]4 ,!Y W]E ALL PRIVATELY [N$ H\SES OR AP>TM5TS4 ,H] EXP]I5CE WAS ! SAME :]EV] %E W5T4 ,%E WAS ASK$ :AT H] HUSB& DID1 & AS SOON AS %E SAID 0ME*ANIC10 %E WAS TOLD ! AP>TM5T WAS ALREADY R5T$4 ,%E CRI$ AS SOON AS %E GOT HOME4 ,AFT] F\R OR FIVE DAYS %E GAVE UP4 

,F9ALLY1 SEV]AL MON?S AFT] \R SE>* BEGAN1 ONE ( ! WORK]S AT ! DEPOT TOLD ME !RE WAS A VACANCY 9 ! BUILD+ ACROSS ! /REET FROM :]E HE LIV$4 ,I W5T TO SEE ! PLACE AS SOON AS ,I GOT (F WORK4 ,! BUILD+ WAS AN ANCI5T TWO-/ORY MANSION ?AT HAD BE5 DIVID$ UP & TURN$ 9TO AN AP>TM5T H\SE ALREADY BE=E ! W>4 ,AFT] ! C\P ! F\R D[N/AIRS & F\R UP/AIRS AP>TM5TS W]E CLASSIFI$ AS D\BLES SO ?AT ! ONE-TIME S+LE PRIVATE H\SE N[ CONSI/$ ( SIXTE5 LIV+ UNITS4 ,EA* D\BLE UNIT CONSI/$ ( TWO B$ROOMS & A S+LE LIV+ ROOM1 BA?ROOM & KIT*54 ,9 O!R WORDS1 ! VACANT AP>TM5T CONSI/$ ( A VACANT B$ROOM4 ,AN OLD WORK] :O HAD OCCUPI$ IT HAD JU/ DI$4 

,:5 ,I DESCRIB$ ! PLACE TO ,MIRNA1 %E WAS OV]JOY$4 ,%E WAS SO FRU/RAT$ & SO DESP]ATE ?AT %E'D GLADLY HAVE RUN TO A RAT-9FE/$ BASEM5T ?AT HAD BE5 US$ TO /ORE COAL4 ,ALL ?AT MATT]$ WAS ?AT !RE W]E NEI!R GEESE NOR *ICK5S 9 ! Y>DS & ?AT ALL ! NEI<BORS GOT !IR POTATOES & VEGETABLES FROM /ORES4 ,%E DIDN'T EV5 WANT TO SEE ! PLACE FIR/4 ,WE SIMPLY MOV$ 91 & ALL H] 5?USIASM RETURN$4 ,MIRNA GREET$ & EMBRAC$ \R NEW NEI<BORS AS IF !Y W]E LONG-LO/ FRI5DS4 ,%E C>RI$ ,VESNA >\ND ! NEI<BORHOOD1 9 & \T ( ALL ! /ORES1 AS IF TO FAMILI>IZE ! BABY ) H] NEW1 G5U9ELY URBAN SURR\ND+S4 ,9 ! EV5+S WE TOOK LONG WALKS4 ,MIRNA /UDI$ ALL ! PASS]SBY1 !IR EXPRESSIONS AS WELL AS !IR CLO!S4 ,%E ALSO /UDI$ ALL ! COMMODITIES DISPLAY$ 9 ! /ORE W9D[S4 

,MIRNA FULFILL$ H] LIFE'S DREAM4 ,%E BECAME A CITY DWELL]1 A CITIZ51 ! WIFE ( A CITY WORK]1 ) AN AP>TM5T ( H] [N & A *ILD :O W\LD BE NO MORE ( A C\NTRY BUMPK9 ?AN H] URBAN NEI<BORS OR H] BRO!R4 ,BUT ?AT S*OOL-CREAT$ DREAM MASK$ A %ALL[ REALITY4 ,%E BECAME EV]Y?+ %E WAS GO+ TO BECOME ON ! DAY %E MOV$ \T ( H] P>5TS' H\SE4 ,! FOLL[+ DAY1 OR WEEK1 OR MON?1 %E DIDN'T BECOME MORE ( A CITIZ5 OR MORE ( A WORK]'S WIFE4 ,%E DIDN'T BECOME MORE CREATIVE NOR MORE IMAG9ATIVE NOR -- AFT] H] 5?USIASM DISSIPAT$ ITSELF -- MORE 5]GETIC4 ,%E DIDN'T BECOME ANY?+ %E HADN'T BE5 BE=E4 ,%E M]ELY LO/ H] LIFE'S DREAM4 

,BUT ?AT DREAM IS A *AMELEON4 ,IT *ANGES :5EV] WE ?9K WE'VE REA*$ IT4 ,MIRNA KNEW ?AT SOME?+ HAD GONE WRONG1 ?AT SOME?+ WAS /ILL MISS+4 ,I REMEMB] ONE ( ! /ATEM5TS %E MADE ONLY A FEW WEEKS AFT] WE MOV$3 0,I HAD EXPECT$ EV]Y?+ TO BE SO DIFF]5T40 ,%E HAD EXPECT$ A NEW LIFE4 ,%E HAD EXPECT$ :AT Y\ EXPRESS ) ! WORDS PROJECT & COMMUNITY4 ,BUT %E DIDN'T BECOME DESP]ATE OR DEPRESS$4 ,%E /ILL EXP]I5C$ REALITY AS %E'D BE5 TAU<T TO EXP]I5CE IT4 ,%E HELD ON TO H] DREAM4 ,! *AMELEON TRANS=M$ ITSELF4 ,:ATEV] WAS /ILL MISS+1 :ATEV] %E HADN'T BECOME1 C\LD BE B\<T 9 A /ORE4 ,%E DIDN'T BUY V]Y MU*4 ,WE HAD SAV$ A CONSID]ABLE SUM ( MONEY DUR+ ! YE> :5 ,I HAD DRIV5 ! BUS & WE HAD LIV$ & EAT5 AT H] P>5TS' H\SE4 ,%E SP5T V]Y LITTLE ( IT2 %E'S ALWAYS BE5 AFRAID TO SP5D MONEY4 ,BUT ! FEW ?+S %E DID BUY W]E V]Y IMPORTANT TO H]4 ,S9CE \R ROOM WAS ADEQUATELY FURNI%$1 WE DIDN'T NE$ TO BUY FURNITURE4 ,BUT WE DID NE$ CURTA9S4 ,I'M SURE ?AT NO CITY HAS EV] BE5 BUILT ) ! LOVE & C>E ) :I* %E B\<T ?OSE CURTA9S4 ,%E LOOK$ AT %OP W9D[S = SEV]AL WEEKS2 EV]Y NI<T WE WALK$ TO LOOK AT ANO!R PAIR4 ,:5 %E F9ALLY B\<T !M %E TREAT$ !M AS A SECOND NEWBORN *ILD4 ,AFT] ! CURTA9S W]E HUNG %E REPEAT$ ! 5TIRE C]EMONY ) A B$SPREAD4 ,JASNA READ NOVELS 9 ORD] TO EXP]I5CE 9 FICTION :AT %E'D FAIL$ TO EXP]I5CE 9 H] LIFE2 ,MIRNA B\<T CURTA9S & A B$SPREAD4 ,! OBJECTS REPLAC$ H] PROJECT AS WELL AS H] COMMUNITY4 ,BUT LIKE ! AP>TM5T ITSELF1 ! OBJECTS LO/ !IR PROMISE ON ! DAY !Y W]E ACQUIR$4 ,NO NEW LIFE BEGAN4 ,NO?+ WAS DIFF]5T4 ,EV5 ! CURTA9S & ! B$SPREAD REMA9$ NEW ONLY = A FEW DAYS4 ,! *AMELEON *ANG$ AGA94 ,BUT ! MORE IT *ANG$ ! MORE IT REMA9$ ! SAME4 ,! LACK1 ! GAP ?AT REAPPE>$ EV]Y TIME IT WAS FILL$1 C\LD BE REFILL$ CONT9UALLY ONLY TO REAPPE> AGA94 ,IF ?IS OBJECT FAIL$ TO SATISFY1 SURELY ! NEXT OBJECT W\LD SUCCE$ -- OR ! NEXT JOB TRANSF]1 OR ! NEXT AP>TM5T4 

,! NEXT OBJECT WAS TO BE ! L>GE/ ( ALL \R OBJECTS4 ,IT WAS ,VESNA'S BABY C>RIAGE1 A F\R-:EEL$ VEHICLE COMPLETE ) B$ & CANOPY1 TWO AXLES1 SPR+S & BRAKES4 ,IT WAS ! ONLY VEHICLE WE EV] [N$4 ,& IT WAS FROM ?AT VEHICLE ?AT ,I LE>N$ ! N>COTIC POT5CY ( ! MANUFACTUR$ ?+4 ,WE SCRUPUL\SLY EXAM9$ EV]Y C>RIAGE 9 ! CITY BE=E DECID+ :I* ONE WAS TO BE \R C>RIAGE4 ,WE :EEL$ IT TO \R AP>TM5T AS IF IT W]E MADE ( GLASS1 C>EFULLY AVOID+ EV]Y POOL ( DIRTY WAT]1 RAIS+ IT G5TLY OV] EV]Y BUMP4 ,WE C>RI$ IT UP/AIRS TO \R B$ROOM1 & WE CONT9U$ TO KEEP IT 9 \R B$ROOM1 NOT SO MU* BECAUSE WE W]E AFRAID IT W\LD BE /OL5 FROM ! HALLWAY BUT BECAUSE WE WANT$ IT :]E WE C\LD SEE IT4 ,9 O!R EPO*S PEOPLE LOOK$ = GODS1 SA9TS & REVELATIONS TO CONFIRM !IR LO/ HUMANITY4 ,9 \RS ! COMMODITY EMBODIES ALL ! GODS1 SA9TS & REVELATIONS4 ,:5EV] WE W]E DEPRESS$ BY ! HOLL[NESS ( \R LIVES1 :5EV] WE FELT ! /ILL UNFULFILL$ GAP1 WE LOOK$ AT ,VESNA'S C>NAGE4 ,! OBJECT CONFIRM$ \R PURPOSE & \R WOR?4 ,IT WAS ! MEAN+ ( ! 5DLESS WAIT+ & ! MEAN+LESS WORK4 

,\R EV5+ WALKS ON ! NEI<BORHOOD /REETS1 & ESPECIALLY \R ,SUNDAY WALKS 9 ! CITY P>K1 BECAME ! HI< PO9TS ( \R LIVES4 ,IT WAS ON ?OSE WALKS ?AT WE DISPLAY$ \R QUALITIES1 ! QUALITIES WE HAD B\<T 9 /ORES4 ,AS SOON AS WE HAD ! C>RIAGE WE NE$$ ! CLO!S ?AT W5T ) IT4 ,I B\<T A SUIT ID5TICAL TO ! SUITS ,I HAD SE5 9 ! CITY P>K1 ! SUITS ( Y\NG M5 :O ACCOMPANI$ !IR BABY C>RIAGES & !IR WIVES4 ,MIRNA & ,VESNA EA* ACQUIR$ A DRESS ) SIMIL> PROP]TIES4 ,WE W]E N[ COMPLETE4 ,:5 WE PROM5AD$ ,VESNA ?R\< ! P>K1 WE FELT \RSELVES ADMIR$ ! SAME WAY WE HAD ADMIR$ ! WELL-DRESS$ C\PLES ) BABY C>RIAGES4 ,PASS]SBY LOOK$ 9TO ! C>RIAGE & SMIL$ AT ,VESNA4 ,WE W]E PR\D ( ,VESNA1 PR\D ( \R SUCCESS1 PR\D TO BE ADMIR$4 ,VESNA1 ,MIRNA & ,I W]E LIKE ALL ! O!RS 9 ! P>K1 LIKE ! ADMIRABLE O!RS1 ! MEMB]S ( ! WORK+ CLASS4 ,WE W]E COMPLETE HUMAN BE+S1 CITIZ5S4 ,\R CLO!S & ,VESNA'S C>RIAGE PROV$ IT4 ,AT ! 5D ( ! PROM5ADE WE REMOV$ \R ATTRIBUTES & HUNG !M 9 ! CLOSET1 ALWAYS KEEP+ !M SPOTLESS & UNCREAS$4 ,WE SET ,VESNA'S C>RIAGE 9 ! CORN] ( \R ROOM4 ,IT WAS A V]Y PRETTY C>RIAGE4 ,WE /ILL HAVE IT4 ,BUT ,VESNA IS NO LONG] ) US4 

,\R BLISS LA/$ = TWO SEASONS4 ,I DON'T KN[ H[ LONG WE C\LD HAVE REMA9$ 9TOXICAT$ BY \R OBJECTS IF ! GR\ND UND] \T FEET HADN'T %IFT$1 BUT ,I SUSPECT ! DRUGS W\LD HAVE LO/ !IR P[] ON !IR [N DUR+ ! ?IRD SEASON4 ,9 ANY CASE1 WE W]5'T GIV5 A *ANCE TO 5JOY ! FULL EFFECT ( \R N>COTICS2 \R FRAIL H\SE ( C>DS COLLAPS$ >\ND US4 

,! EV5T ?AT PUT AN 5D TO \R BLISSFUL /UPOR WAS A VIOL5T 5C\NT] BETWE5 ,JAN & ! =EMAN AT ! DEPOT :]E WE WORK$4 ,! =EMAN WAS ! TYPE ( P]SON USUALLY DESCRIB$ AS DUMB & RU?LESS4 ,HE WAS SEV]AL YE>S Y\NG] ?AN WE W]E & HAD />T$ WORK+ AT ! DEPOT ?REE YE>S BE=E ,JAN WAS HIR$4 ,HE WAS IMM$IATELY RECRUIT$ AS A POLICE 9=M] & HE APP>5TLY DID ?IS JOB SO WELL ?AT HE WAS APPO9T$ SECTION =EMAN ONLY A FEW MON?S AFT] HE WAS HIR$1 & G5]AL =EMAN A FEW MON?S AFT] ?AT4 ,AL?\< HE HAD SP5T A FEW MON?S WORK+ AS A REPAIR ME*ANIC1 BY ! TIME HE WAS G5]AL =EMAN HE HAD BECOME CONV9C$ ?AT ! ME*ANICS W]E ALL M9DLESS ROBOTS & ?AT ! ONLY ?9K+ 9 ! DEPOT TOOK PLACE 9 HIS HEAD4 ,HE ?\<T ( ! RE/ ( US4 NOT AS COMPLETE HUMAN BE+S1 BUT AS HUMAN FRAGM5TS1 AS EXT5SIONS ( HIS LIMBS1 AS 9/RUM5TS :I* M9DLESSLY IMPLEM5T$ HIS ORD]S4 

,! ONLY CONSEQU5CE ( ! =EMAN'S ATTITUDE WAS ?AT HIS 9T5TIONS W]E COMPLETELY UND]M9$4 ,S9CE WE W]E BRA9LESS1 WE DIDN'T USE \R BRA9S TO IMPLEM5T HIS WI%ES BUT ONLY TO ?W>T !M4 ,AS EXT5SIONS ( HIS LIMBS WE W]E WORSE ?AN LIFELESS LIMBS2 WE W]E REBELLI\S IMPLEM5TS ?AT CONT9UALLY FRU/RAT$ !IR US]4 ,NO ONE EXPRESS$ ?IS REBELLI\SNESS AS EXPLICITLY AS ,JAN4 ,:5EV] ! =EMAN CALL$ HIS NAME1 ,JAN 9/ANTLY DROPP$ :ATEV] HE WAS HOLD+1 EV5 IF IT WAS AN OIL PAN1 JUMP$ UP1 SALUT$1 & %\T$1 0,YESSIR60 ,JAN WAS ! ONLY ONE :O TRI$ TO CON=M 9 EV]Y S+LE DETAIL TO ! WAY ! =EMAN SAW HIM4 ,IF ALL ! =EMAN TOLD HIM WAS1 0,PULL ?AT C>BURETOR \T10 ,JAN TOOK A W9* OR A PRY B> & PULL$ ! C>BURETOR \T1 )\T REMOV+ ANY ( ! BOLTS4 ,ONE DAY ,JAN WAS REMOV+ A RE> :EEL TO REPLACE A WORN BE>+4 0,:AT ! HELL >E Y\ DO+8 ,ALL IT NE$S IS GREASE60 ! =EMAN %\T$4 ,JAN FURI\SLY REPLAC$ ! :EEL & PACK$ IT ) GREASE4 ,! BUS WAS T[$ BACK TO ! DEPOT TWO WEEKS LAT] ) A RU9$ AXLE & :EEL4 ,! RE/ ( US ALSO IMPLEM5T$ ! =EMAN'S ORD]S TO ! LETT]1 BUT NONE ( US W]E AS SCRUPUL\S AS ,JAN4 ,IF SOME BUSSES W]E NEV]!LESS REPAIR$1 IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE ! =EMAN C\LDN'T BE EV]Y:]E AT ! SAME TIME1 & ALL ( US WORK$ ) RELATIVE EFFICI5CY :5 WE W]5'T C>RY+ \T A COMM&4 

,SOME WEEKS AFT] ! 9CID5T ) ! BROK5 :EEL1 ! =EMAN AGA9 PULL$ ,JAN (F ! JOB HE WAS DO+ & BELL[$1 0,SEE IF !RE'S OIL 9 ?IS 5G9E4 ,& DON'T LET ME CAT* Y\ DO+ ANY?+ TO ! 5G9E60 ,! =EMAN HAD CONV5I5TLY =GOTT5 ?AT HE'D BE5 WRONG :5 HE'D KEPT ,JAN FROM REPLAC+ ! :EEL BE>+4 

,JAN DID EXACTLY :AT ! =EMAN TOLD HIM TO DO & TWO DAYS LAT] ! BUS RETURN$ ) A BURN$ \T 5G9E4 ,! =EMAN WAS FURI\S4 ,HE RAN TO ,JAN & %\T$1 0,I ?\<T ,I TOLD Y\ TO SEE IF !RE WAS OIL 9 ?AT 5G9E60 

,JAN DROPP$ HIS TOOLS & SALUT$1 SAY+1 0,YESSIR60 

0,!RE C\LDN'T HAVE BE5 A DROP ( OIL 9 IT60 ! =EMAN %\T$4 

0,YESSIR60 ,TAN SAID AGA94 

0,Y\ IMBECILE60 ! =EMAN BELL[$4 0,I TOLD Y\ TO PUT OIL 96 ,DID Y\ PUT OIL 9TO ?AT 5G9E80 

0,NO SIR60 ,JAN ANSW]$4 

,! =EMAN'S EYES W]E R$ ) FURY4 ,HE LE]$ AT ! RE/ ( US1 RAN TO GET A CR[B> & SWUNG IT AT ,JAN'S HEAD4 ,JAN DUCK$ & WAS HIT LI<TLY ON ! %\LD]4 ,JAN PICK$ UP A WR5*4 

,! =EMAN />T$ TO SW+ HIS CR[B> AGA9 BUT ,I RAN UP FROM BEH9D HIM & YANK$ ! B> \T ( HIS GRASP4 0,Y\'RE LY+10 ,I TOLD HIM1 HOLD+ ON TO ! B>2 0,I HE>D :AT Y\ TOLD ,JAN TO DO4 ,Y\ TOLD HIM TO SEE IF !RE WAS OIL 9 ! 5G9E & Y\ EXPLICITLY TOLD HIM NOT TO DO ANY?+ ELSE40 

0,Y\'RE CRAZY60 ! =EMAN %\T$4 0,:OEV] HE>D ( S5D+ A BUS ON ! ROAD ) A DRY 5G9E80 

0,EV]YONE H]E HAS HE>D ( ?AT10 ,I ANSW]$4 0,WE'VE ALSO HE>D ( S5D+ A BUS \T ) A WORN BE>+ & ( /OPP+ J SOMEONE :O WANT$ TO FIX IT40 

,BACK+ AWAY FROM ME & ! CR[B>1 ! =EMAN %\T$ AT ! TOP ( HIS VOICE1 0,PUT ?AT B> D[N6 ,Y\ CAN'T ?REAT5 ME6 ,Y\ ,S$LAKS >E LUNATICS4 ,I'LL HAVE Y\ LOCK$ UP4 ,Y\'RE SICK6 ,SOMEONE S5T Y\ H]E TO WRECK ! WORK]S' BUSSES6 ,:O PAYS Y\ TO WRECK BUSSES80 

,JAN TURN$ TO ! =EMAN & SAID CALMLY1 0,NO ONE PAYS US TO DO IT4 ,WE WRECK ! BUSSES ON \R [N & = \RSELVES4 ,WE CAN'T /& !M4 ,!Y USE UP \R SPACE1 \R AIR & \R 5]GY4 ,WE'RE LUNATICS DET]M9$ TO DRIVE Y\ & Y\R BUSSES \T ( \R ASYLUM40 

,I'M REM9D$ ( Y\R SC5E ) ! S*OOL (FICIAL :O SAID Y\ W]E D]ANG$ & DANG]\S :5 Y\ CALL$ (F Y\R CLASS TO TAKE P>T 9 ! /UD5T /RIKE4 ,I COMM5D Y\ = Y\R C\RAGE2 Y\ REALLY DO %>E ?AT ) ,JAN4 ,Y\R C\RAGE WAS 9 FACT GREAT] BECAUSE ,JAN & ,I W]5'T NE>LY AS ISOLAT$ AS Y\ W]E4 ,! =EMAN BACK$ AWAY FROM US LIKE A CORN]$ BEA/4 ,HE GRABB$ ANO!R B> & !N A WR5*1 BUT HE DIDN'T TRY TO USE !M4 ,HE NO LONG] FAC$ ONLY ! TWO ( US4 ,EV]Y S+LE WORK] 9 ! DEPOT HAD PICK$ UP A TOOL & JO9$ ! SEMI-CIRCLE ( ANGRY WORK]S SURR\ND+ ! =EMAN4 ,EV]Y S+LE P]SON WAS WAIT+ = ! =EMAN TO TAKE ! SLI<TE/ /EP T[>D ,JAN1 T[>D ME1 T[>D ANY O!R WORK]4 ,WE W]E ALL WAIT+ = HIM TO />T SW++ HIS B>1 HIS WR5* OR EV5 HIS FI/4 ,! =EMAN WAS PALE ) FRI<T4 ,HE CR+$ AWAY HUGG+ ! WALL1 TREMBL+1 NOT TAK+ HIS EYES (F US = A SECOND4 

,! =EMAN DIDN'T RETURN ?AT DAY1 NOR DID WE CONT9UE \R WORK4 ,WE SAT D[N & SMOK$4 ,ALL ( US W]E FURI\S4 ,SOMEONE SAID1 0,LET HIM TRY ?AT JU/ ONE MORE TIME4 ,WE'LL %[ HIM60 

0,:AT'LL WE %[ HIM80 ,JAN ASK$4 

0,WE'LL %[ HIM :O DOES ! WORK2 WE'LL %[ HIM ?AT WE CAN DO )\T HIM10 ! MAN ANSW]$4 

0,?AT'S A LIE10 ,JAN SNAPP$4 0,DO Y\ ?9K ,I'D REPAIR !SE CONTRAPTIONS IF NO ONE =C$ ME TO DO IT8 ,:AT ON E>? =80 

,EV]YONE DREW BACK :5 ,JAN SAID ?IS4 ,! O!RS PROBABLY HADN'T EV] HE>D ANYONE EXPRESS SU* AN ATTITUDE4 ,I DREW BACK TOO1 AL?\< ,I HAD HE>D SU* A VIEW BE=E1 DUR+ MY FIR/ PRISON T]M4 ,JAN'S ATTITUDE TO WORK WAS ID5TICAL TO ,MANUEL'S4 ,IT WAS ALSO SIMIL> TO ! ATTITUDE Y\R Y\NG HI< S*OOL FRI5D ,RON EXPRESS$ :5 HE TOOK Y\ ON Y\R FIR/ T\R ( HIS CITY4 ,TO ,JAN IT WASN'T ! PRES5CE OR ABS5CE ( ! =EMAN ?AT MADE \R WORK PRO/ITUTION BUT ! FACT ?AT WE SOLD \R LIVES TO A PROJECT ?AT WASN'T \R [N4 ,AT ?AT TIME ,I DIDN'T UND]/& HIM1 JU/ AS ,I HADN'T UND]/OOD MO/ ( :AT ,MANUEL HAD TOLD ME 9 PRISON4 

,JAN HAD EXPRESS$ ! SAME ATTITUDE SIX YE>S E>LI]1 DUR+ \R AGITATIONAL ACTIVITY AT ! C>TON PLANT4 ,LUISA /ILL REMEMB]S HIM = ?AT4 ,9 Y\R SECOND LETT] Y\ TOLD ME ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS HAD CONSID]$ ,JAN & ME 0DE/RUCTIVE HOOLIGANS0 & ,LUISA AGRE$ ) ,ALB]TS4 ,IT'S NOT AT ALL SURPRIS+ ?AT %E 9CLUD$ ,RON & ,MANUEL AMONG ! 0HOOLIGANS40 

,ACCORD+ TO ,SAB9A1 ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS ?\<T ?AT WORK]S HAD F\<T A REVOLUTION 9 ORD] TO REPLACE REACTION>Y =EM5 ) REVOLUTION>Y =EM51 ?AT WORK]S HAD F\<T A REVOLUTION 9 ORD] TO PLACE ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS 9 AN IMPORTANT PO/4 ,ALL ?OSE OPPOS$ TO ?IS1 LIKE ,MANUEL1 HAD TO BE SWEPT \T ( ! WAY4 ,:]E WAS ,LUISA :5 REVOLUTION>IES LIKE ,MANUEL W]E SWEPT \T ( ! WAY8 ,WAS %E ALONGSIDE ! ASPIR+ =EMAN ,ALB]TS1 HELP+ TO SWEEP PEOPLE LIKE ,RON1 MYSELF1 ,MANUEL & ,JAN \T ( ! WAY8 ,%E VIRTUALLY ADMITT$ ?IS :5 %E SAID ?AT 0SU* PEOPLE0 W]E A GREAT] ?REAT TO ! REVOLUTION ?AN ! MILIT>I/S4 ,I'D REALLY LIKE TO KN[ :]E ,LUISA /OOD DUR+ ?IS PURGE ( SABOTEURS4 ,I'VE LONG AGO BECOME SUSPICI\S ( H] 9T]PRETATIONS2 Y\R LETT]S HAVE MADE ME WOND] AB\T H] ACTIVITY AS WELL4 

,9CID5TALLY1 ,I'D /ILL LIKE TO KN[ H[ ,ALB]TS SUCCE$$ 9 HAV+ Y\ & ,LUISA RELEAS$ FROM PRISON TW5TY YE>S AGO4 

,SAB9A WANTS ME TO TELL MORE AB\T ,MANUEL4 ,UN=TUNATELY ,I KNEW HIM ONLY 9 PRISON1 & \R CONV]SATIONS W]E NEI!R V]Y ?OR\< NOR W]E !Y V]Y RELAX$ 9 ! CIRCUM/ANCES 9 :I* !Y TOOK PLACE4 ,ALSO1 AT ! TIME ,I KNEW HIM ,I SP5T AS MU* TIME DEF5D+ ,LUISA'S >GUM5TS AS ,I SP5T LI/5+ TO ,MANUEL'S4 ,I DIDN'T REALLY UND]/& ,MANUEL'S POSITIONS UNTIL ,I WORK$ ) ,JAN AT ! BUS REPAIR DEPOT1 & EV5 !N ,I RESI/$ ! IMPLICATIONS ( ?AT POSITION4 ,EMOTIONALLY ,I AGRE$ ) ,JAN4 ,HIS ATTITUDE TO ! WORK WE DID EXPRESS$ EXACTLY :AT ,I FELT T[>D MY JOB & T[>D MY LIFE4 ,EMOTIONALLY ,I HAD ALSO AGRE$ ) ,MANUEL1 & EV5 :ILE DEF5D+ ,LUISA'S >GUM5TS ,I HAD KN[N ?AT ,I W\LD HAVE BE5 AMONG ?OSE ( ,MANUEL'S FRI5DS :O W]E JAIL$ & KILL$ AS SABOTEURS4 ,9TELLECTUALLY ,I MU/ HAVE HELD A VIEW SIMIL> TO ! ONE ,SAB9A EXPRESS$ 9 Y\R LETT] AL?\< ,I DON'T REMEMB] ?AT ,I HAD ANY 9TELLECTUAL VIEW AT ALL2 ,I ONLY HAD VAGUE FEEL+S4 ,I SUPPOSE ?AT ,I1 LIKE ,SAB9A4 ?\<T ?AT BUSSES & FACTORIES W]E USEFUL & ?AT !IR ONLY DEHUMANIZ+ *>ACT]I/IC WAS ?AT !Y W]E MANAG$ BY BUREAUCRATS & POLIC$ BY >M$ TORTUR]S & MURD]]S2 IF WE C\LD ONLY GET RID ( ?OSE PR$ATORY P>ASITES1 WE W\LD HUMANIZE ! FACTORIES AS WELL AS \RSELVES4 ,SU* MAY HAVE BE5 MY VIEW :5 ,I DREW BACK 9 RESPONSE TO ,JAN'S COMM5T AFT] ! SC5E ) ! =EMAN1 & SU* MAY /ILL BE ,SAB9A'S VIEW TODAY1 BUT ?IS VIEW HAS NO?+ 9 COMMON ) ,JAN'S OR ,MANUEL'S4 ,MANUEL HAD NO?+ GOOD TO SAY AB\T :AT ,SAB9A1 FOLL[+ ,ALB]TS1 CALLS 09DU/RIALIZATION40 ,MANUEL'S NAME = IT WAS ,CAPITAL1 & HE CALL$ J ! REVOLUTION>Y POLITICIANS :O MURD]$ HIS COMRADES2 0CAPITALI/S40 ,= ,MANUEL1 9DU/RIALIZATION WAS M]ELY ANO!R NAME = HUMANITY'S DISEASE1 IT WAS A SYNONYM = DEHUMANIZATION4 ,HE CALL$ IT ,CAPITAL BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SEE IT AS A HUMAN ACTIVITY1 AS A PROJECT LAUN*$ BY LIV+ 9DIVIDUALS = !MSELVES & = EA* O!R1 BUT AS A PROCESS ?AT GREW AP>T FROM !M & AGA9/ !M1 AS A GR[? :I* !Y F$ ) !IR LIV+ 5]GY BUT :I* !Y DIDN'T CONTROL4 ,HE HAD BE5 ) PEOPLE :O HAD TEMPOR>ILY DEFEAT$ ! =CES ?AT REPRESS$ !M1 HAD %>$ ) !M ! EXP]I5CE ( PROJECT+ A WORLD ?AT W\LD BE = HUMAN BE+S1 & HAD WAT*$ MO/ ( ?OSE PEOPLE REIMPOSE ON !MSELVES ! V]Y =CES !Y HAD DEFEAT$ ! DAY BE=E BECAUSE SOMEONE HAD TOLD !M 9DU/RIALIZATION WAS = !M4 ,HE SAW WORK]S RE-%ACKLE !MSELVES TO A PROCESS OV] :I* !Y HAD NO CONTROL BECAUSE SOMEONE CONV9C$ !M !IR DESIRE = !IR [N LIFE & !IR [N PROJECT CON/ITUT$ SABOTAGE & HOOLIGANISM4 ,MANUEL & ,JAN TAU<T ME ?AT IF WE DON'T DE/ROY ! OLD LIFE1 :E!R WE CALL IT CAPITAL OR PROGRESS OR 9DU/RIALIZATION1 & IF WE DON'T PROJECT & BEG9 TO CREATE A NEW LIFE1 !N WE'RE ONLY GO+ TO RE5ACT \R SLAV]Y ON ! GRAVES ( \R FALL5 COMRADES1 SOME ( US MANAG+ & MO/ ( US MANAG$1 SOME ( US REPRESS+ & ALL ( US REPRESS$4 

,:5 ,JAN SAID HE W\LDN'T REPAIR ANY BUSSES IF A =EMAN DIDN'T =CE HIM TO1 ,I DREW BACK4 ,I SUSPECT$ ?AT ,I W\LDN'T EI!R1 BUT ,I REFUS$ TO DRAW ANY CONCLUSIONS4 ,I KNEW ?AT ON A SUP]FICIAL LEVEL ,JAN'S /ATEM5T WAS FALSE1 S9CE ! ONLY TIME ANY ( US REPAIR$ ANY BUSSES WAS :5 ! =EMAN WAS \T ( \R SI<T4 ,BUT ,JAN MEANT SOME?+ MORE PR(\ND1 & IT WAS ?IS ?AT ,I RESI/$4 ,MY RESI/ANCE TO HIS >GUM5T HELPS ME UND]/& :Y WE /ILL PRODUCE BUSSES1 BUREAUCRATS & BOMBS4 ,I RESI/$ BECAUSE ,I WORRI$ = ! BUSSES4 ,I WOND]$ :O W\LD REPAIR !M & PRODUCE !M IF ! REVOLUTION ,I !N HAD 9 M9D EV] TOOK PLACE & OV]?REW ALL =EM51 9=M]S & 9FLU5TIAL COMRADES4 ,I WORRI$ = ! FUTURE ( ,CAPITAL4 ,IT WAS ONLY YE>S LAT] ?AT ,I BEGAN TO ASK MYSELF :O HAD DECID$ ?AT SEV]AL ( US W]E TO SP5D P>TS ( \R LIVES REPAIR+ BUSSES4 ,?IS C]TA9LY WASN'T ! PROJECT ( ! LIV+ 9DIVIDUALS 5GAG$ 9 IT4 ,NONE AMONG ! LIV+1 NOR EV5 AMONG ?OSE :O HAD LIV$ BE=E1 HAD EV] COME TOGE!R & DECID$ ?AT ?IS ACTIVITY WAS TO BE ! CONT5T ( \R LIVES4 ,IT WAS AS IF WE HAD NO *OICE 9 ! MATT]1 AS IF WE W]E IRREM$IABLY CONDEMN$ TO SP5D \R LIVES AT =C$ LABOR4 ,! PROGRESS ( ?+S DET]M9$ ! CONT5T ( \R LIVES4 ,?+S DEF9$ US1 ?+S DOM9AT$ US & ?+S CONSUM$ US4 ,& :5 ,JAN EXPRESS$ ! DESIRE TO RUN \T FROM UND] !M & LET !M CRA%1 ,I WORRI$1 NOT = MYSELF OR = ANY ( US1 BUT = ! ?+S4 ,I WOND]$ H[ ! ?+S W\LD F>E :5 WE W]E NO LONG] UND] !M4 ,I KNEW WE HAD ! ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE4 TO DET]M9E \R [N 9DIVIDUAL & COLLECTIVE PROJECTS1 TO LAUN* !M TOGE!R & TO 5JOY \R COMMON CREATION4 ,I KNEW ?AT SU* ABILITIES W]E 9H]5T TO \R BE+1 ?AT !Y W]E \R V]Y ESS5CE IF WE HAVE A SPECIFIC ESS5CE1 ?AT !Y W]E NOT AB]RATIONS OR ,UTOPIAN DREAMS4 ,I KNEW ?IS ) AS MU* C]TA9TY AS ,I KN[ ?AT MY HE>T BEATS3 BECAUSE ,I FEEL IT4 ,YET EV]Y DAY ,I NEGAT$ MY BE+1 ,I SUPPRESS$ IT2 EV]Y DAY ( MY LIFE ,I NURS$ ! ?+1 ,I WORRI$ = IT1 ,I REPAIR$ IT1 CR+$ UND] IT & DI$ = IT4 ,! PROGRESS ( ! ?+ MATT]S MORE TO US ?AN \R DEVELOPM5T1 MORE ?AN ! FL[]+ ( \R [N CAPACITIES4 ,IT IS MORE IMPORTANT ?AN \R LIVES4 ,IF ! PROGRESS ( ! ?+ EV] REQUIRES US TO /OP BREA?+1 ,I WOND] IF WE'LL BE FLEXIBLE & ACCOMMODAT+ 5\< TO DO ?AT = IT AS WELL4 

,I DREW BACK FROM ,JAN'S CONCLUSIONS BUT ,I C\LDN'T DRAW BACK FROM ! EXP]I5CES ?AT HAD L$ ,JAN TO ?OSE CONCLUSIONS4 ,I C\LDN'T DRAW BACK FROM ! WORLD ,I LIV$ 94 ,I C\LDN'T KEEP MYSELF FROM EXP]I5C+ :AT ,I /ILL REFUS$ TO BELIEVE3 ?AT ! ?+ DIDN'T EXI/ = ME BUT ONLY = ITSELF1 ?AT ITS WELL-BE+ CO9CID$ ) MY IMMIS]ATION1 ?AT ITS PROGRESS WAS BUILT ON MY /AGNATION4 

,! DAY AFT] \R CONFRONTATION ) ! =EMAN ,I W5T TO WORK AT ! USUAL H\R4 ,:5 ,I REA*$ ! 5TRANCE TO ! DEPOT TWO M5 9 /REET CLO!S RU%$ T[>D ME1 GRABB$ ME BY ! >MS & DRAGG$ ME TO ! BACK SEAT ( A C>4 ,JAN WAS ALREADY !RE4 ,HE LAU<$ :5 ,I WAS PLAC$ NEXT TO HIM >ID %\T$1 0,:AT'S ?IS8 ,HAVE Y\ EV] SE5 !SE G5TLEM5 BE=E8 ,DID Y\ EV] HAVE ANY?+ TO DO ) !M8 ,I'D ?\<T WE W]E HAV+ AN >GUM5T ) ! =EMAN1 AN >GUM5T ?AT CONC]N$ ONLY US & ! =EMAN4 ,>E !SE G5TLEM5 ! =EMAN'S RELATIVES OR HIS P]SONAL BODY GU>D80 

,WE W]E TAK5 TO ! POLICE /ATION4 ,I FELT FRU/RAT$ & 9DIGNANT4 ,IT WASN'T H>D TO SURMISE :]E ! =EMAN HAD GONE ! PREVI\S DAY AFT] HE HAD CR+$ AWAY FROM ! CIRCLE ( ANGRY WORK]S SURR\ND+ HIM4 ,NOR WAS IT SURPRIS+ ?AT GO+ DIRECTLY TO ! POLICE W\LD HAVE BE5 ! NORMAL REFLEX = ?IS 9DIVIDUAL :O HAD />T$ HIS C>E] AS A POLICE 9=M]4 ,:AT WAS SO FRU/RAT+1 & SO REVEAL+1 WAS ?AT ALL ?IS TOOK PLACE )\T ANY COMMUNICATION AMONG ! 9DIVIDUALS :O W]E 9VOLV$4 ,NO?+ WAS DISCUSS$1 NO?+ WAS DECID$ BY ! WORK]S 9 ! DEPOT4 ,! :OLE MATT] WAS SETTL$ BY ! =EMAN & ! POLICE1 BY ! AG5TS ( ORD]1 BY ! AG5TS ( AN ORD] ?AT DOESN'T CONC]N ?OSE :O MA9TA9 IT BECAUSE IT ISN'T !IRS & DOESN'T EXI/ = !M2 !Y M]ELY UND]GO IT1 AS !IR LOT4 

,EV]Y?+ ?AT HAPP5$ AT ! POLICE /ATION WAS PR$ICTABLE EXCEPT ! FACT ?AT WE W]5'T S5T5C$ TO A NEW PRISON T]M4 ,WE W]E LOCK$ 9TO A ROOM ) NO?+ 9 IT 6 EXCEPT A B5*4 ,JAN GRUMBL$1 0,H]E WE GO AGA940 ,WE W]E BO? CONV9C$ ?AT WE W]E GO+ TO SP5D ! NEXT FEW YE>S1 P]HAPS ! RE/ ( \R LIVES1 9 PRISON4 ,WE SAT QUIETLY & WAIT$4 ,JAN />$ AT ! BLANK WALL2 HIS LAU<T] WAS GONE4 ,I />T$ TO CRY1 NOT BECAUSE ,I W\LD MISS MY WALKS 9 ! P>K1 WE>+ MY SUIT & PU%+ ,VESNA'S C>RIAGE1 BUT BECAUSE ?AT ACTIVITY SUDD5LY SEEM$ SO LUDICR\S1 SU* A MIS]ABLE WAY TO USE UP LIFE'S TIME4 ,I CRI$ BECAUSE ,I W\LD MISS ALL ?AT ,I HADN'T DONE1 ALL ! POSSIBLE LIVES ,I HAD FAIL$ TO LIVE4 ,I ?\<T ( A /ORY ,I HAD READ AB\T A MAN :O REALIZ$ ONLY ON HIS DEA?B$ ?AT DUR+ ALL HIS YE>S 9 ! WORLD HE HADN'T ONCE LIV$4 

,WE W]E WRONG4 ,! REPRESSIVE APP>ATUS DECID$ TO DISPOSE ( US 9 A MORE ECONOMICAL WAY1 )\T 9CURR+ ! CO/S ( MA9TA9+ US4 

,WE W]E SUMMON$ TO ! (FICE ( :AT MU/ HAVE BE5 ! /ATION'S HEAD BUREAUCRAT4 ,AS SOON AS WE W]E SEAT$ ! BUREAUCRAT TURN$ TO ME &1 FUMBL+ ) A DOSSI] ?AT MU/ HAVE BE5 M9E1 ASK$1 0,>E Y\ ,Y>O/AN ,VO*EK80 

0,W\LD Y\ BELIEVE ME IF ,I TOLD Y\ ,I WASN'T80 ,I ASK$4 

,PO9T+ HIS =EF+] AT ME1 ! BUREAUCRAT ?REAT5$1 0,IF Y\ P>ADE AS ,MIRAN ,S$LAK ONE MORE TIME1 Y\'LL BE IMPRISON$ = FRAUD1 DO Y\ UND]/& ?AT80 

,JAN & ,I LOOK$ AT EA* O!R2 WE W]E RELIEV$4 0,IF0 & 0ONE MORE TIME0 MEANT ?AT WE W]5'T GO+ TO BE IMPRISON$ ?IS TIME4 ,WE WANT$ TO LAU<4 

,! BUREAUCRAT TURN$ TO ,JAN &1 ) ! SAME ?REAT5+ TONE1 SAID1 0,Y\ KN[ ?AT Y\ CAN BO? GET T5 YE>S = 9SULT+ & BEAT+ ! =EMAN40 

,JAN DIDN'T RESPOND4 

0,Y\ C\LD GET ANO!R T5 YE>S = 9/IGAT+ A RIOT 9SIDE A WORKPLACE1 & ANO!R = WRECK+ SOCIAL MEANS ( PRODUCTION4 ,ALL ?IS ON TOP ( Y\R CRIM9AL RECORD W\LD L& Y\ 9 PRISON = LIFE10 ! BUREAUCRAT SAID1 ?REAT5+LY BUT CALMLY1 AS IF HE W]E EXPLA9+ A MA!MATICAL PROBLEM TO US4 

,BO? ( US />$ AT HIM4 ,WE NO LONG] FELT LIKE LAU<+4 

,HE CONT9U$1 0,WE'RE NOT GO+ TO IMPRISON Y\4 ,WE DON'T RUN A NURS]Y = WILD BEA/S40 7,?AT EXPLA9$ \R GOOD =TUNE47 0,P>ADE UND] FALSE NAMES ONE MORE TIME1 GO 9TO OR NE> ! BUS REPAIR DEPOT = ANY REASON :ATEV]1 WRECK ANY MORE SOCIAL PROP]TY1 FI<T ) ! SAME OR ANO!R REPRES5TATIVE ( ! WORK+ CLASS1 & WE'LL TAKE C>E ( Y\ -- ?IS TIME P]MAN5TLY4 ,DO Y\ UND]/& ?AT80 

,WE W]E BE+ TOLD ?AT WE W\LD BE EXT]M9AT$ LIKE 0WILD BEA/S0 IF WE PROTECT$ \RSELVES FROM ABUSE ONE MORE TIME4 ,WE W]E BE+ FIR$ FROM \R JOBS4 ,WE W]E BE+ GIV5 A PICTURE ( \R FUTURE3 EI!R TO LIVE AS DEAD ?+S OR ELSE NOT TO LIVE AT ALL4 ,WE W]E BE+ DEPRIV$ ( UNC]TA9TY4 

0,YES10 ,I ANSW]$1 0,WE UND]/& ?AT40 

,! SMALL AM\NT ( CONV5TIONAL HAPP9ESS ,MIRNA & ,I HAD NURS$ ) SU* LOV+ C>E DIS9TEGRAT$ ALL >\ND US4 ,WE C\LD 5JOY ! ILLUSORY SATISFACTION (F]$ BY ! OBJECTS ONLY IF WE S]V$ !M2 AS SOON AS WE /OPP$ S]V+ !M WE LE>N$ ?AT !Y W]E NOT = US BUT ?AT WE W]E = !M4 ,! MOM5T WE TRANSGRESS$ ! RULES ( PROGRESS & F\ND \RSELVES ALONE ) \R REW>DS1 ! OBJECTS LO/ !IR AURAS & REVEAL$ !IR ESS5CE3 !Y W]E G>BAGE4 

,I RETURN$ TO \R AP>TM5T LONG BE=E ! 5D ( ! WORK+ DAY4 ,MIRNA />T$ CRY+ BE=E ,I EV5 TOLD H] ,JAN & ,I HAD BE5 >RE/$4 ,%E KNEW AS SOON AS ,I WALK$ 9 ?AT ,I'D BE5 FIR$4 ,! PREVI\S NI<T ,I HAD TOLD H] AB\T \R 5C\NT] ) ! =EMAN2 H] ONLY COMM5T HAD BE51 0,:AT'LL BECOME ( US80 ,I HAD BE5 ANG]$ BY H] COMM5T BECAUSE ,I'D 9T]PRET$ IT TO MEAN1 0,:AT'LL BECOME ( ! CURTA9S1 ! B$SPREAD1 ,VESNA'S C>RIAGE & \R ,SUNDAY CLO!S80 ,I'D BE5 ANG]$ MA9LY BECAUSE ,I HAD %>$ EXACTLY ! SAME CONC]N3 ,I HAD WORRI$ = ! OBJECTS4 

,:5 ,I TOLD ,MIRNA :AT HAPP5$ AT ! POLICE /ATION %E />T$ TO TREMBLE4 ,H] FACE TOOK ON AN EXPRESSION ( UNDISGUIS$1 RAW FE>4 ,%E ?REW H]SELF AT ME1 SOBB+ & %AK+1 & UTT]$ WEAKLY1 0,!Y CAN'T1 ,Y>O/AN1 !Y CAN'T60 ,MIRNA SAW :AT ,I HAD SE5 A FEW H\RS E>LI] :ILE WAIT+ ) ,JAN 9 ! ROOM AT ! POLICE /ATION2 %E SAW H[ LUDICR\SLY POOR \R LIVES HAD BECOME S9CE ! DAY :5 WE'D />T$ P\R+ !M 9TO \R OBJECTS4 ,WE /OPP$ WORRY+ = ! OBJECTS & />T$ WORRY+ = \RSELVES4 ,WE BECAME AW>E ( \R [N LIVES = ! FIR/ TIME ONLY :5 WE BEGAN TO BE H\ND$1 :5 WE FAC$ ! DANG] ( LOS+ !M4 

,?AT DAY WAS A BEG9N+1 BUT NOT ! K9D ( BEG9N+ ,MIRNA HAD LOOK$ =W>D TO4 ,IT WAS ! BEG9N+ ( \R P]SECUTION4 ,FROM ?AT DAY ON WE W]E H\ND$ SO P]SI/5TLY ?AT WE NEV] AGA9 HAD ! OPPORTUNITY TO WORRY AB\T ! FUTURE ( \R OBJECTS4 ,?AT DAY WAS ! BEG9N+ ( \R HUMAN LIVES4 ,WE CEAS$ TO BE OBJECTS 9 A WORLD ( OBJECTS2 WE CEAS$ TO BE ?+S ?AT PRODUC$ & ?+S ?AT CONSUM$4 ,I BEGAN TO UND]/& ,JAN'S \TLOOK AS WELL AS ,MANUEL'S4 

,ONLY TWO DAYS AFT] ,JAN & ,I W]E 0BRIEF$0 BY ! POLICE BUREAUCRAT1 !RE WAS A KNOCK AT ! DOOR4 ,MIRNA JUMP$ UP AS IF A CANNON HAD EXPLOD$2 %E BACK$ AGA9/ ! WALL1 PALE ) FE>4 ,! MOM5T MIS=TUNE BEG9S ALL NEWS IS BAD NEWS & EV]Y *ANGE IS LIKELY TO BE A *ANGE = ! WORSE4 ,I LET 9 A MAN :O 9TRODUC$ HIMSELF AS ! PRESID5T ( ! NEI<BORHOOD C\NCIL4 ,HIS EYES DIDN'T ONCE /OP %IFT+ FROM SIDE TO SIDE4 ,HE WAS AS SUSPICI\S AS A M\SE SITT+ 9 ! MIDDLE ( A ROOM1 READY AT ANY 9/ANT TO FLEE BACK TO ITS HOLE4 ,HE EV5 I /UDI$ ,VESNA ) APPREH5SION1 PROBABLY FE>+ ?AT H] PAW W\LD FLY \T & CLAW HIS FACE BE=E HE'D HAD A *ANCE TO DEF5D HIMSELF OR ESCAPE4 ,YE>S LAT] \R NEI<BOR1 ! POLICE 9=M] ,MR4 ,N9OVO1 REM9D$ ME ( ?IS C\NCIL PRESID5T4 

,! PRESID5T ANN\NC$1 AS IF HE W]E READ+1 AL?\< HE DIDN'T HAVE A TEXT3 0,AT ITS LA/ DELIB]ATIVE SESSION ! NEI<BORHOOD C\NCIL RESOLV$ ?AT CONVICT$ CRIM9ALS & O!R P>ASITES :O SUCK ! BLOOD ( ! WORK+ PEOPLE WILL NOT BE H>BOR$ )9 ! LIV+ UNITS ( SAID C\NCIL40 

,MIRNA />T$ TO BAWL & ,VESNA JO9$ H]4 ,I FLUNG ! DOOR WIDE OP51 GRABB$ ! PRESID5T BY ! BACK ( ! COLL>1 & S5T HIM FLY+ \T ( \R AP>TM5T ) A KICK 9 ! RE>1 SO AS TO JU/IFY ! NE$ = HIS VIGILANCE1 HIS SUSPICI\SNESS & ! CON/ANT %IFT+ ( HIS EYES4 

,MIRNA BECAME HY/]ICAL4 ,%E WAS SURE ! POLICE W\LD COME TO >RE/ ME = ! LA/ TIME BECAUSE ( ! WAY ,I HAD TREAT$ ! C\NCIL PRESID5T4 ,I TRI$ TO CALM H] BY TELL+ H] ! PRESID5T'S BEHAVIOR HAD 9DICAT$ ?AT HE HADN'T EXPECT$ TO BE TREAT$ ANY O!R WAY4 ,BUT AS SOON AS H] FE> = MY >RE/ REC$$1 %E />T$ WORRY+ AB\T \R SITUATION4 ,%E CONV9C$ H]SELF ?AT ! NEI<BORHOOD C\NCIL HAD NO RI<T TO EVICT US1 S9CE !Y DIDN'T EV5 LIVE 9 \R BUILD+4 ,%E TALK$ ME 9TO TAK+ \R PR$ICAM5T TO ! NEI<BORS4 ,I AGRE$ ) ! PR9CIPLE ( DO+ ?IS1 BUT ,I ASSUR$ H] ?AT \R NEI<BORS HAD NO MORE P[] TO /OP \R EVICTION ?AN WE DID2 RI<T OR WRONG1 ! NEI<BORHOOD C\NCIL HAD ! POLICE BEH9D !M4 

,EV5 SO1 ,I W5T ) ,MIRNA TO KNOCK ON ! DOORS ( \R NEI<BORS' AP>TM5TS4 ,?IS WAS A MI/AKE2 IT ONLY 9=M$ US H[ ALONE WE W]E4 ,ONE ( ! WOM5 D[N/AIRS OP5$ ! DOOR & IMM$IATELY SLAMM$ IT 9 \R FACES4 ,NONE ( ! O!RS LET US 9TO !IR AP>TM5TS4 ,WE W]E =C$ TO /& 9 ! DOORWAYS & EXPLA9 \R SITUATION AS IF WE W]E DIRTY BEGG>S ASK+ = FOOD1 & AS WE SPOKE WE HE>D ! DOORS WE'D JU/ LEFT OP5 SLI<TLY4 ,APP>5TLY PEOPLE WANT$ TO HE> \R /ORY A SECOND & !N A ?IRD & EV5 A F\R? TIME1 OR ELSE !Y W]E EAVESDROPP+ SO AS TO HE> :AT ! O!RS W\LD TELL US4 ,:5 WE REA*$ \R ?IRD OR F\R? DOOR1 ! MAN 9T]RUPT$ US BE=E WE W]E F9I%$ & SAID1 0,I'M SORRY = Y\1 BUT Y\ REALLY %\LD HAVE TOLD US Y\ W]E A CONVICT$ CRIM9AL40 

,! NEXT NEI<BOR 9T]RUPT$ US ALMO/ AS SOON AS WE BEGAN & %E MADE ! ADVICE MORE SUCC9CT3 0,Y\ %\LD HAVE TOLD ! C\NCIL Y\ W]E CONVICTS40 

,MIRNA ANGRILY GRABB$ ! WOMAN BY ! %\LD]S & %\T$1 0,Y\ IDIOT6 ,WE'RE WORK]S JU/ LIKE Y\6 ,CONVICTS >E PEOPLE :O >E 9SIDE PRISONS1 & MO/ ( !M >E WORK]S TOO60 

,! WOMAN WAS APP>5TLY 9TIMIDAT$4 ,%E SAID1 0,I'M SORRY = Y\10 BACK$ AWAY FROM US & CLOS$ H] DOOR4 

,WE HE>D ! NEXT DOOR CLOSE :ILE WE WALK$ T[>DS IT4 ,WE KNOCK$ & A MAN %\T$1 0,I DON'T TALK TO CRIM9ALS60 

,I GOT FURI\S &1 BANG+ ON ! DOOR ) ALL ! /R5G? 9 MY >MS1 ,I %\T$1 0,?AT'S BECAUSE Y\'RE A PIG1 & PIGS NEV] TALK TO HUMAN BE+S60 

,WE DIDN'T KNOCK ON ! REMA9+ ?REE OR F\R DOORS4 ,WE DIDN'T HAVE ! N]VE4 ,WE W]E DEFEAT$4 ,ALL ( \R NEI<BORS W]E WORK]S2 !RE WASN'T A S+LE CL]ICAL WORK]1 /UD5T OR BUREAUCRATIC (FICIAL 9 ! BUILD+4 

,ACCORD+ TO Y\R FRI5D ,DAMAN1 WORK]S >E 09H]5TLY REVOLUTION>Y40 ,I SUPPOSE :AT HE MEANS BY ?AT IS ID5TICAL TO :AT \R NEI<BORHOOD C\NCIL PRESID5T W\LD MEAN4 ,DAMAN DOESN'T MEAN ALL WORK]S2 HE MEANS ?OSE WORK]S :O HAVE LE>N$ TO SUBMIT TO AU?ORITY1 ?OSE WORK]S :O W\LD BE WILL+ TO OBEY ANY AU?ORITY ?AT SPEAKS 9 !IR NAME1 ?OSE :O W\LD BE WILL+ TO EVICT & ULTIMATELY TO MAIM & KILL O!R WORK]S = ! SAKE ( A POLITICIAN :O CONSID]S !M 09H]5TLY REVOLUTION>Y40 ,DAMAN IS A POLITICIAN OR A SA9T3 9 HIS M\? 0REVOLUTION>Y0 MEANS ! SAME ?+ AS 0BLESS$0 & IS M]ELY A WAY TO FLATT] HIS FUTURE FOLL[]S4 

,\R SITUATION WAS SIMIL> TO ! ONE ,I HAD FAC$ DUR+ ! WEEKS AFT] ,I HAD BE5 RELEAS$ FROM PRISON4 ,WE HAD NO PLACE TO GO & ,I HAD NO JOB4 ,WE /ILL HAD SOME SAV+S BUT N[ !RE W]E ?REE ( US4 ,WE W]E /A9$1 EXACTLY ! WAY ,JEWS HAD BE5 /A9$ DUR+ ! OCCUPATION4 ,ONLY N[ !RE WAS NO RESI/ANCE MOVEM5T2 ! DREGS ( ?AT MOVEM5T HAD REPLAC$ ! PREVI\S OCCUPI]S2 ! RE/ ( ! MOVEM5T HAD BE5 SLAU<T]$ DUR+ ?REE DAYS & NI<TS ( S5SELESS BUT*]Y4 

,IF WE F\ND ANO!R AP>TM5T1 WE W\LD BE H\ND$ \T AS SOON AS ! POLICE 9=M$ \R NEI<BORS ?AT WE W]E 0CONVICTS40 ,I C\LDN'T F9D A JOB = ! SAME REASON4 ,I DIDN'T EV5 ?9K ( LOOK+ = ONE4 ,I KNEW ,I'D HAVE ! SAME LUCK ,I'D HAD BE=E3 0,I'M SORRY COMRADE1 BUT ) Y\R RECORD444 WE CAN'T AF=D4440 

,WE W5T TO ,JAN = HELP & ADVICE4 ,HE WAS ABLE TO REMA9 9 ! AP>TM5T ( HIS =M] FELL[ WORK]1 & AS A RESULT HE WAS ABLE TO COMMUNICATE \R SITUATION TO ! O!R WORK]S 9 ! DEPOT4 ,! POLICE HAD TOLD US TO /AY AWAY FROM ! DEPOT2 !Y HADN'T TOLD ,JAN TO MOVE \T ( HIS AP>TM5T4 ,I SUPPOSE ! POLICE HAD EXPECT$ ,JAN TO BE EVICT$ ! SAME WAY WE W]E1 BUT ,JAN'S FRI5D1 NOT BE+ A 0CRIM9AL10 HAD MANAG$ TO REASON ) HIS NEI<BORS1 CONV9C+ !M ?AT ,JAN C\LDN'T BE EVICT$ S9CE ! AP>TM5T WASN'T 9 HIS NAME2 HE WAS SIMPLY A GUE/4 

,JAN SAID ?AT HE W\LD CONTACT ,TITUS ,ZABRAN ONCE AGA9 AB\T \R GETT+ ANO!R JOB2 HE'D HAVE TO TELEPHONE ,TITUS TO AVOID BE+ >RE/$1 S9CE ,TITUS' (FICE WAS NEXT DOOR TO ! J BUS DEPOT4 ,AS = \R H\S+ PROBLEM1 ,JAN LOOK$ SADLY AT ,MIRNA & SUGGE/$ ?AT WE MOVE BACK TO !IR P>5TS' H\SE1 AT LEA/ UNTIL ,I F\ND ANO!R S\RCE ( 9COME4 

,MIRNA SWALL[$ H] PRIDE TOGE!R ) H] LIFE'S DREAMS & TOOK ,JAN'S ADVICE4 ,WE MOV$ BACK TO ! FR+ES ( ! CITY1 BACK TO ! Y>DS ) *ICK5S & VEGETABLE G>D5S1 BACK TO ! NEI<BORHOOD :I* WAS NO LONG] A VILLAGE BUT WAS NOT YET P>T ( ! CITY4 ,WE PACK$ \R CURTA9S1 \R B$SPREAD & \R ,SUNDAY CLO!S2 WE W\LDN'T NE$ !M :]E WE W]E GO+4 

,VESNA'S C>RIAGE HAD TO BE TRANSPORT$ ON A TRUCK4 ,WE W]E A%AM$ ( IT :5 IT >RIV$4 ,!RE W]E NO BABY C>RIAGES ON ! UNPAV$ /REETS :]E ,MIRNA'S P>5TS LIV$2 !Y W]5'T BUILT = SU* /REETS4 ,WE /OR$ ! C>RIAGE 9 :AT HAD BE5 ,JAN'S ROOM & COV]$ IT ) AN OLD %EET4 ,UNLIKE AN OLD TRUNK AFT] A J\RNEY'S 5D1 IT C\LDN'T BE US$ AS A /ORAGE BOX NOR AS A SEAT OR SURFACE2 IT HAD NO USE AT ALL2 IT WAS SIMPLY A L>GE MI/AKE4 

,:AT UPSET ,MIRNA MO/ ( ALL WAS ! ?\<T ?AT ,VESNA W\LD GR[ UP 9 ! 5VIRONM5T :]E ,MIRNA HAD GR[N UP1 ?AT ,VESNA W\LD BE BR\<T UP BY ,MIRNA'S RELIGI\S MO!R1 & ?AT ,VESNA'S :OLE LIFE W\LD CONSI/ ( EXP]I5CES LIKE ! ONE WE HAD JU/ UND]GONE4 ,I >GU$ ?AT !RE WAS NO REASON TO PROJECT \R MIS=TUNE 9TO ! *ILD'S LIFE1 BUT ULTIMATELY IT WAS ,MIRNA :O TURN$ \T TO BE RI<T4 

,:5 WE TOLD ,MIRNA'S FA!R :AT WE HAD UND]GONE1 HE NODD$ ) APPROVAL = :AT ,JAN & ,I HAD DONE4 ,HE SAID1 0,Y\ CAN'T TEA* MULES TO FLY10 REF]R+ TO ?OSE :O HAD EVICT$ US2 HIS CONCLUSION WAS AS FATALI/IC AS HIS WIFE'S3 0,?AT'S H[ IT IS4 ,:AT MATT]S IS ?AT Y\'RE ALIVE & WELL4 ,WORSE ?+S HAVE HAPP5$40 

,9 O!R WORDS1 A HEAL?Y HORSE CAN /ILL BE MADE S]VICEABLE2 ONLY A LAME HORSE IS GOOD = NO?+4 ,9 HIS VIEW \R ADV5TURE WAS NO?+ MORE ?AN A TEMPOR>Y SETBACK COMP>ABLE AT WOR/ TO A HEAL?Y & VIGOR\S PEASANT'S LOSS ( A YE>'S CROP4 ,NEXT YE> WAS ANO!R YE>1 & IF WE /AY$ ALIVE & WELL WE'D SURELY EM]GE ) A BETT] CROP1 P]HAPS EV5 COM+ \T AS F> AHEAD AS WE'D FALL5 BEH9D4 ,HE WAS /ILL CONV9C$ ?AT ,I W\LD GO F>1 P]HAPS TO A BUREAUCRATIC (FICE1 P]HAPS EV5 TO ! UNIV]SITY4 ,BUT HE NOTIC$ ?AT ,I TALK$ LESS & SOMETIMES NOT AT ALL3 HE SUSPECT$ ?AT SOME?+ HAD GONE WRONG4 ,ONE EV5+ DUR+ D9N] HE ASK$ ME4 HALF JOK+LY1 0,:AT'S ! MATT] ) Y\1 BOY8 ,HAVE Y\ LO/ Y\R POLITICS8 ,?IS IS NO TIME TO LOSE ?AT TYPE ( TAL5T60 

,MIRNA'S MO!R DIDN'T %>E ,S$LAK'S HI< OP9ION ( ME4 ,%E HAD SE5 ME AS AN OM51 AN EVIL OM51 S9CE ! DAY :5 ,I FIR/ CAME TO H] H\SE4 ,I DIDN'T LE>N ?IS UNTIL SEV]AL YE>S LAT]1 BECAUSE %E DIDN'T SAY ANY?+ AT ALL AT ! TIME4 ,%E SAW ME AS HELL'S MESS5G]1 S5T FROM AF> TO BR+ DE/RUCTION1 MIS]Y & DEA? TO ! 5TIRE FAMILY4 ,EV]Y?+ ,I HAD DONE UNTIL !N CONFIRM$ ?IS SUSPICION -- OR RA!R ?IS C]TA9TY1 S9CE %E DIDN'T ONCE %[ ?AT %E D\BT$ ! TRU? ( H] 9ITIAL IMPRESSION4 ,! NEWE/ EPISODE %[$ H] ?AT ,I HAD ALREADY />T$ TO C>RY \T MY DE/RUCTIVE ASSIGNM5T4 ,BY TAK+ P>T 9 ,JAN'S FI<T ) ! =EMAN1 & ESPECIALLY BY CALL+ MYSELF ,MIRAN ,S$LAK1 ,I HAD CAUS$ ,JAN TO GET 9TO F> MORE TR\BLE ?AN HE'D HAVE GOTT5 9TO BY HIMSELF4 ,IT'S POSSIBLE ?AT ?IS WAS :5 %E L9K$ ME TO ,JAN'S FIR/ >RE/1 S9CE A FEW YE>S LAT] %E WAS GO+ TO BLAME ME = EV]Y?+ ?AT HAD HAPP5$ TO ,JAN1 & %E KNEW ?AT ,JAN & ,I HAD BE5 >RE/$ TOGE!R SIX YE>S E>LI] AT ! C>TON PLANT4 ,F9ALLY1 BY GETT+ MYSELF EVICT$1 ,I WAS />T+ TO BR+ PA9 & HUMILIATION 9TO ,MIRNA'S LIFE & EV5 9TO LITTLE ,VESNA'S LIFE4 ,I DIDN'T KN[ !SE DETAILS AT ! TIME1 BUT ,I S5S$ H] 9T5SE HO/ILITY T[>D ME1 A HO/ILITY ?AT C\LDN'T BE PACIFI$ ) A K9DLY GE/URE1 A PLEASANT WORD OR A SMILE4 

,MIRNA & ,I HELP$ ) ! H\SEWORK1 READ A LITTLE1 TOOK C>E ( ,VESNA & WAIT$4 ,!RE WAS SN[ ON ! GR\ND & WE R>ELY LEFT ! H\SE2 9 ANY CASE1 ,MIRNA NO LONG] HAD 9CL9ATIONS TO TAKE WALKS 9 ?AT FAMILI> NEI<BORHOOD4 

,WE WAIT$ = SOME?+ TO *ANGE = ! BETT]4 ,\R MA9 HOPE WAS ,JAN2 WE WAIT$ = HIM TO COME ) GOOD NEWS AB\T A JOB1 P]HAPS AB\T AN AP>TM5T4 

,JAN CAME1 BUT NOT ) GOOD NEWS4 ,HE HAD TELEPHON$ ,TITUS ,ZABRAN4 ,TITUS KNEW AB\T \R FIR+4 ,HE TOLD ,JAN ?AT \R SITUATION WAS MADE DIFFICULT BY ! FACT ?AT ! POLICE HAD REPORT$ \R BEHAVIOR TO ! TRADE UNION BUREAUCRACY & CONSEQU5TLY NO (FICIAL W\LD BE WILL+ TO HIRE US1 EV5 ) 0PULL40 ,BUT HE TOLD ,JAN HE W\LD CONT9UE TO TRY TO F9D A 0PLACE0 = US4 

,MIRNA GREW 9CREAS+LY FRU/RAT$ & IMPATI5T4 0,WE CAN'T SIMPLY SIT H]E & WAIT10 %E 9SI/$4 0,NO?+ IS EV] GO+ TO HAPP5 H]E1 ABSOLUTELY NO?+60 

,%E DECID$ TO TRY TO GET A JOB ON H] [N4 ,FIR/ %E W5T \T ) A NEWSPAP]4 ,!N %E />T$ TO ASK Y\NG WOM5 ON BUSSES :AT K9DS ( JOBS !Y HAD & :]E !IR FACTORIES W]E LOCAT$4 ,%E VISIT$ EV]Y FACTORY %E C\LD F9D4 

,AFT] ?REE OR F\R WEEKS ( DAILY J\RNEYS TO L>GE & SMALL WORK%OPS %E F\ND A JOB 9 A CLO?+ FACTORY NOT F> FROM ! C>TON PLANT4 ,%E ANN\NC$ IT ) A C]TA9 AM\NT ( PRIDE1 BUT )\T A TRACE ( ! *ILDLIKE OPTIMISM ) :I* %E HAD GREET$ E>LI] *ANGES4 ,ALREADY BE=E %E />T$ TO WORK1 H] PASSION & H] PRIDE W]E MIX$ ) A C]TA9 RESIGNATION1 A C]TA9 HELPLESSNESS 9 ! FACE ( AN 9DIFF]5T4 >BITR>Y & CRUEL 5VIRONM5T4 ,%E BECAME 9CREAS+LY SIL5T1 9CREAS+LY PATI5T2 H] LIFE'S DREAMS CONT9U$ REC$+4 ,MIRNA BECAME A MEMB] ( ! WORK+ CLASS BUT NOT ON H] [N T]MS4 ,%E BECAME A WAGE WORK]1 A CITIZ5 ( ,CAPITAL4 ,%E DESCRIB$ H] JOB ) ONE WORD3 0DRUDG]Y40 ,9 ! CLO?+ FACTORY %E LE>N$ BOR$OM1 ! 5DLESS REPETITION ( ! SAME MOTIONS1 ! GLOOMY =EKN[L$GE ?AT ! FOLL[+ DAY1 WEEK & YE> W\LD BE ! SAME AS ALL ! YE/]DAYS4 ,H] DAILY ACTIVITY 5RI*$ HUMANITY ONLY 9 CLO!S2 IT CONSUM$ ,MIRNA1 SWALL[$ ALL H] PROJECTS1 EXT+UI%$ H] HOPES4 ,BY BECOM+ A MEMB] ( ! WORK+ CLASS %E ANNIHILAT$ ! POSSIBILITY TO BECOME A MEMB] ( A HUMAN COMMUNITY1 %E GAVE AWAY ! TIME & 5]GY NECESS>Y = ! CREATION ( ?AT COMMUNITY4 ,! RESIGNATION ,MIRNA EXPRESS$ ! FIR/ DAY %E WORK$ 9 ! CLO?+ FACTORY WAS ! RESIGNATION ( A P]SON :OSE LIFE IS NO LONG] ONE'S [N1 ( A BEA/ ( BURD54 

,AB\T A MON? AFT] ,MIRNA />T$ WORK+1 ,JAN LE>N$ AB\T A JOB = HIM & ME4 ,TITUS ,ZABRAN HAD ACTUALLY GONE TO ,JAN'S AP>TM5T TO TELL HIM AB\T ! JOB4 ,A /EEL PLANT 9 A SMALL T[N AB\T #a KILOMET]S FROM ! CITY WAS %ORT ( UNSKILL$ LABOR]S4 ,!RE W]E NOT 5\< WORK]S 9 ! T[N OR ! SURR\ND+ VILLAGES TO SUPPLY ! NE$$ LABOR =CE & CITY WORK]S W]E EI!R UNWILL+ TO MOVE OR UNWILL+ TO TRAVEL SU* A GREAT DI/ANCE TWICE A DAY4 ,CONSEQU5TLY ! PLANT (FICIALS W]E WILL+ TO OV]LOOK \R PRISON PA/ AS WELL AS \R EMPLOYM5T RECORDS4 ,TITUS SUGGE/$ ?AT ,JAN & ,I ACCEPT ! JOB1 ASSUR+ HIM ?AT SU* 0EM]G5CY SITUATIONS0 W]E ! BE/ WE C\LD EXPECT UND] ! CIRCUM/ANCES & ?AT ! NEXT EM]G5CY MI<T NOT PAY AS HI< A WAGE AS ! /EEL PLANT4 

,MIRNA REFUS$ TO HE> ( \R TRAVEL+ #a KILOMET]S AWAY4 ,I >GU$ ?AT WE APP>5TLY HAD NO O!R *OICE4 ,JAN SUGGE/$ ?AT WE PO/PONE MAK+ \R DECISION UNTIL HE LE>N$ MORE AB\T ! JOB4 

,JAN CAME AGA9 TWO WEEKS LAT]1 ON A WEEK5D4 ,HE TOLD US ?AT H\S+ WAS *EAP & PL5TIFUL 9 ! /EEL T[N & ?AT HE WAS GO+ TO R5T AN AP>TM5T NE> ! PLANT4 ,HE URG$ US TO DO ! SAME4 ,MIRNA BUR/ \T CRY+1 TURN$ TO ! WALL & BEAT H] FI/S AGA9/ IT4 ,%E %\T$1 0,I DON'T WANT EI!R ( Y\ SO F> AWAY FROM ME1 9 ! WILD]NESS60 

,JAN SADLY TOLD H]1 0,! HE>T ( ?IS CITY IS ! ONLY WILD]NESS 9 ?IS P>T ( ! WORLD40 

,MIRNA TURN$ TO ,JAN ) A LOOK ( DESP]ATION & SAID1 FALT]+1 0,I'LL KILL MYSELF BE=E ,I GO !RE6 ,I'M GO+ TO /AY 9 ! CITY & ,I'LL SUPPORT ,VESNA AS WELL AS BO? ( Y\ = ! RE/ ( MY LIFE IF NECESS>Y60 

0,MIRNA1 DON'T BE A MULE10 ,JAN PLEAD$4 0,Y\'RE NOT LIV+ 9 ! CITY N[1 & WE DON'T HAVE A *OICE40 

,MIRNA TOLD US1 0,!Y'RE BUILD+ H\SES = WORK]S NE> MY FACTORY4 ,SEV]AL WOM5 9 MY DEP>TM5T HAVE ALREADY SIGN$ UP4 ,I'M GO+ TO SIGN UP TO BUY ONE60 

0,& :AT'LL Y\ PAY = IT )80 ,JAN ASK$4 0,Y\R WAGES DON'T SUPPORT ,VESNA OR ,Y>O/AN4 ,FA!R SUPPORTS !M2 HE GETS TWICE AS MU* AS Y\ DO4 ,9 ! /EEL PLANT ,I'LL BE PAID ?REE TIMES :AT Y\ GET40 

0,!Y TOLD ME ,I'D GET A RAISE10 ,MIRNA SAID4 

0,:580 ,JAN ASK$4 

0,9 TWO YE>S40 

0,TWO YE>S60 ,JAN EXCLAIM$4 0,& :5 WILL Y\ BUY Y\R H\SE80 

,MIRNA COLLAPS$ 9TO A *AIR & CRI$4 0,I DON'T KN[10 %E SAID DESP]ATELY4 0,BUT ,I DON'T WANT Y\ TO GO !RE & ,I DON'T WANT ,VESNA TO GR[ UP !RE60 

,I SUGGE/$ A COMPROMISE4 0,WE C\LD MOVE BACK TO ! CITY IF ,I TOOK ! JOB 9 ! /EEL PLANT4 ,?AT WAY WE C\LD AF=D TO BUY ! H\SE & /OP BE+ A BURD5 TO Y\R FA!R40 

0,Y\'D SP5D HALF Y\R DAY TRAVEL+10 ,MIRNA OBJECT$4 

,I SAID1 0,I DON'T SEE ANY O!R ACCEPTABLE ALT]NATIVE40 

,MIRNA DIDN'T SAY ANY?+4 ,I DECID$ TO TAKE ! JOB4 ,JAN MOV$ TO AN AP>TM5T NE> ! PLANT4 

,A C]TA9 FEEL+ ( HAPP9ESS ACCOMPANIES SELF-REALIZATION4 ,DUR+ ?OSE DAYS ,I LE>N$ ?AT ANO!R TYPE ( HAPP9ESS ACCOMPANIES RESIGNATION4 ,I WAS CONV9C$ ?AT ,I HAD NO O!R *OICE & ,I RESIGN$ MYSELF TO A TWELVE-H\R WORK+ DAY1 F\R H\RS ( :I* ,I SP5T GO+ TO & FROM ! PLANT4 ,AS SOON AS ,I RESIGN$ MYSELF TO ?AT SITUATION EV]Y?+ BECAME EASI] & MORE PLEASANT ?AN ,I HAD EXPECT$ IT TO BE2 ,I EXP]I5C$ LESS] PA9S AS PLEASURES4 ,! WORK WAS H>D2 IT CONSI/$ ( %OVEL+ SCRAPS ( HOT METAL ONTO A MOV+ CONVEYOR BELT4 ,WE SWEAT$ 9 W9T]2 9 SUMM] ! PLACE BECAME AN UNBE>ABLE 9F]NO4 ,SMALL WOND] ?AT O!R WORK]S DIDN'T WANT TO TRAVEL A HUNDR$ KILOMET]S = ! SAKE ( SU* ACTIVITY4 ,BUT ON ! O!R H&1 ! =EMAN DIDN'T TAKE HIS JOB S]I\SLY & WAS 9 NO WAY DIFF]5T FROM ANY O!R WORK]2 NO ONE HAD BE5 WILL+ TO ACCEPT ! TASK & ! WORK]S HAD DRAWN LOTS TO DET]M9E :I* ONE ( !IR NAMES W\LD BE 5T]$ AS =EMAN ON ! (FICIAL =MS4 ,AS A RESULT !RE WAS NO SUP]VISION2 ! PEOPLE ,I WORK$ ) W]E AMONG ! FREE/ HUMAN BE+S ,I'VE 5C\NT]$ 9SIDE A FACTORY OR PRISON4 

,! TIME ,I SP5T TRAVEL+ US$ UP :AT REMA9$ ( MY LIV+ DAY4 ,I GOT UP EV]Y DAY LONG BE=E SUNRISE4 ,I RODE A TRAM & A BUS TO ! TRA9 /ATION & !N SP5T NE>LY AN H\R & A HALF ON ! TRA94 ,I RETURN$ HOME LONG AFT] SUNSET1 DIRTY & EXHAU/$4 ,I BA!D1 ATE & COLLAPS$ 9TO B$ -- SIX DAYS A WEEK4 ,I DEG5]AT$ AS A BE+ ) SPECIFIC CAPACITIES1 ) ! P[] TO CREATE4 ,I /AGNAT$4 ,:ATEV] POT5TIALITIES ,I HAD W]E /UNT$4 ,PLEASE M5TION ?IS TO ,SAB9A4 ,:AT %E CALLS 9DU/RIALIZATION IS IMPOSSIBLE )\T /EEL4 ,?AT PROCESS IS NOT \R PROJECT2 IT'S NOT = US2 IT ?RIVES ONLY BY DE/ROY+ US4 

,H[EV]1 S9CE ,I WAS RESIGN$1 EV5 ! DISCOM=T ( ,I SP5D+ SO MANY H\RS A DAY TRAVEL+ CONTA9$ A PLEASURE4 1 ,I TOOK BOOKS ) ME & READ ON ! TRA9 EV]Y MORN+3 PHILOSOPHY1 HI/ORY1 SCI5CE1 AS WELL AS SEV]AL NOVELS4 ,I WAS FASC9AT$2 ,I EV5 CAME TO LOOK =W>D TO MY TRA9 RIDE TO WORK4 ,ON MY WAY BACK HOME AT NI<T ,I WAS USUALLY TOO TIR$ TO READ4 

,AS SOON AS ,I />T$ WORK+ ,I 9SI/$ ?AT ,MIRNA QUIT H] JOB4 ,I >GU$ ?AT S9CE MY WAGES W]E ?REE TIMES H]S1 WE C\LD EASILY SUPPORT \RSELVES & ALSO MOVE ON :AT ,I E>N$1 SO !RE WAS NO REASON = BO? ( US TO TURN \RSELVES 9TO OX54 ,BUT ,MIRNA WAS ADAMANT4 ,IF %E QUIT H] JOB %E W\LDN'T BE ABLE TO BUY ! H\SE %E'D SIGN$ UP =1 S9CE ?OSE H\SES W]E E>M>K$ = WORK]S 9 H] PLANT4 ,?AT W\LD MEAN WE'D HAVE TO R5T ANO!R AP>TM5T & W\LD AGA9 BE SUBJECT TO VICTIMIZATION BY ! BUREAUCRATS :O ADM9I/]$ !M4 ,%E ALSO 9SI/$ ?AT %E'D NEV] BE FIR$ FROM H] JOB AS A TR\BLEMAK] :]EAS !RE WAS NO TELL+ H[ LONG ,I'D KEEP MY JOB4 ,MIRNA WAS DET]M9$ NOT TO LET ANY?+ LIKE \R EVICTION HAPP5 AGA9 & %E WAS EQUALLY DET]M9$ TO MOVE \T ( H] MO!R'S H\SE & 9TO ! H\S+ COMPLEX NE> H] FACTORY4 ,I ASK$ :O W\LD REPLACE H] MO!R AS ,VESNA'S NURSE :5 BO? ( US W]E WORK+1 BUT LE>N$ ?AT ! PLANN]S HAD ALREADY REMOV$ ?IS OB/ACLE TO ! UNFETT]$ DEVELOPM5T ( ! PRODUCTIVE =CES3 ! *ILDR5 W]E GO+ TO SP5D ! DAY 9 A NURS]Y :ILE !IR P>5TS REPRODUC$ ,CAPITAL4 

,MIRNA'S APPLICATION WAS ACCEPT$1 ! H\SE WAS BUILT & WE MOV$ 94 ,IT'S ! H\SE 9 :I* ,I'M WRIT+ ?IS LETT]4 ,MIRNA /ILL WORKS 9 ! CLO?+ FACTORY A FEW BLOCKS FROM H]E4 ,TODAY !RE >E BLOCKS ( SIMIL> H\SES1 ! /REETS >E PAV$1 !RE >E /REETLI<TS & SIDEWALKS1 & A BUS /OPS HALF A BLOCK FROM \R H\SE4 ,:5 WE MOV$ H]E !RE W]E NEI!R BLOCKS NOR /REETS NOR LI<TS4 ,IT WAS LATE SPR+4 ,\R H\SE & TWO ( ITS NEI<BORS /OOD 9 A POOL ( MUD ) TRAILS CONSI/+ ( N>R[1 SLIPP]Y PLANKS ( WOOD4 ,\R BABY C>NAGE WAS AS USELESS H]E AS IT HAD BE5 AT ! ,S$LAKS' H\SE4 ,! H\SE WAS BUILT = WORK]S1 :I* MEANT ?AT IT WAS BUILT %ODDILY4 ,! RO( BEGAN TO LEAK DUR+ \R FIR/ HEAVY RA9FALL2 DUR+ MY SECOND PRISON T]M ,MIRNA HAD TO HAVE ! 5TIRE RO( REPLAC$4 ,! PLA/] ON ! WALLS & CEIL+S HAS CRACK$ & LEFT L>GE FISSURES4 ,! F\NDATION WAS SET 9 MUD & ONE SIDE ( ! H\SE HAS BE5 S9K+ EV] S9CE WE MOV$ 92 EV]Y?+ 9 ! H\SE /&S AT AN ANGLE4 ,WE GOT US$ TO ?AT4 ,9 FACT1 WE GOT US$ TO EV]Y?+3 ! JOBS1 ! MUD1 ! NURS]Y4 ,:AT MATT]$ TO ,MIRNA WAS ?AT !RE W]E NO *ICK5S & NO G>D5S4 ,EV5TUALLY !RE W]E SMALL FRONT LAWNS1 ONLY GRASS GREW ON !M1 & WE DIDN'T EV5 PLANT \R [N GRASS2 ?AT WAS DONE = US BY ! BUILD]S2 WE ONLY M[$ IT4 ,:AT MATT]$ WAS ?AT WE F9ALLY HAD \R H\SE 9 ! CITY & NO ONE C\LD EVICT US FROM IT4 

,WE W]E HAPPY 9 \R NEW H\SE4 ,IT WAS ! HAPP9ESS ( P]MAN5T EXILES1 ( SURVIVORS FROM A %IPWRECK OR A W>4 ,IT WAS ! HAPP9ESS ( WAGE WORK]S RESIGN$ TO !IR LOT1 ! K9D ( HAPP9ESS ?AT COMES ) RESIGNATION4 ,WE HAD %$ ALMO/ EV]Y?+3 \R DREAMS1 \R PROJECTS1 \R UNREALIZ$ POT5TIALITIES & \R UNUS$ ABILITIES4 ,CONSEQU5TLY WE EMBRAC$ :AT LITTLE WE HAD RETA9$ ) ALL ! JOY ?AT WAS 9 US4 ,WE ?REW \RSELVES 9TO ! PROJECT ( FIX+ \R LITTLE H\SE ) ! SAME 5?USIASM ) :I* WE MI<T HAVE JO9$ HUMAN BE+S BUILD+ A NEW WORLD4 ,I WASN'T ABLE TO DO MU* DUR+ ! WEEK BUT EV]Y ,SUNDAY ,I BECAME A MA/] C>P5T] & PA9T]4 ,MIRNA WORK$ EV]Y NI<T & DID MO/ ( ! BUILD+ & DECORAT+4 ,WE BUILT \R [N B$ & TABLES & = *AIRS WE USE BACKLESS /OOLS4 ,9 TIME WE AGA9 HAD 5\< MONEY TO BUY :AT WE NE$$ BUT ! MA9 ?+ WE B\<T WAS A S(A4 ,WOOD AS WELL AS PA9T W]E PL5TIFUL :ILE ! H\S+ COMPLEX WAS BE+ BUILT S9CE ! QUANTITIES WE NE$$ W]E ALWAYS AVAILABLE 9 ! SCRAP PILES4 ,WE LEFT ALL \R E>LI] PUR*ASES PACK$ AWAY4 ,MIRNA MADE ALL ! CURTA9S & B$D+ AS WELL AS ALL \R CLO!S4 ,WE SP5T \R MONEY ONLY ON FOOD & SAV$ ! RE/4 ,MIRNA 9SI/$ ON SAV+ MONEY = ! SAME REASON ?AT %E HAD 9SI/$ ON BUY+ ! H\SE3 %E DIDN'T WANT TO BE DEP5D5T ON A WORLD %E C\LDN'T TRU/1 %E DIDN'T WANT TO BE AT ! M]CY ( A M]CILESS BUREAUCRACY EV] AGA94 

,MIRNA1 ,VESNA & ,I HAD LIV$ 9 \R H\SE = A YE> :5 ,I />T$ TO HE> RUMORS AB\T A VA/ UPRIS+ BREAK+ \T 9 ,MAG>NA4 ,I SAY RUMORS BECAUSE EV]Y ACC\NT ,I HE>D CONTRADICT$ ! PREVI\S ONE4 ,! PRESS ORGANIZ$ A SY/EMATIC CAMPAIGN TO CREATE IGNORANCE & CONFUSION4 ,I DON'T KN[ :AT ,I W\LD HAVE ?\<T ( Y\ IF ,I HAD RECEIV$ ! LETT] Y\ S5T ME AT ?AT TIME1 DESCRIB+ Y\R NEWSPAP] ACTIVITY AS Y\R LIFE'S PROJECT & REPORT]S AS Y\R COMMUNITY4 ,! NEWSPAP]'S SY/EMATIC FALSIFICATION ( ! ACTS ( ! ,MAG>NA WORK]S CONV9C$ ME ?AT ! PRESS WAS AN 9/RUM5T ( DOM9ATION & C\LDN'T BE ANY?+ ELSE4 

,Y\ COMM5T$ ON ! PRESS'S FALSIFICATION ( ! ,MAG>NA EV5TS BUT Y\ SUGGE/$ ?IS WAS DUE TO ! BIAS ( ! REPORT]S OR [N]S & NOT TO ! V]Y NATURE ( ! 9/RUM5T4 ,I ?9K Y\ FAIL TO GRASP SOME?+ AB\T ! PRESS1 PROBABLY BECAUSE Y\ W]E SO DEEPLY 9VOLV$ ) IT4 ,Y\ FAIL TO UND]/& ?AT 9/RUM5TS ( DOM9ATION & DE/RUCTION CAN'T BE US$ = ANY?+ ELSE4 ,SURELY IT'S OBVI\S TO Y\ ?AT A BOMB DOESN'T BECOME A B5EVOL5T 9/RUM5T IF IT'S CONTROLL$ BY A B5EVOL5T P]SON4 ,A NEWSPAP] DE/ROYS COMMUNICATION AS C]TA9LY AS A BOMB DE/ROYS LIFE & ?IS WAS PLA9LY VISIBLE DUR+ ! ,MAG>NA RIS+4 ,! PEOPLE :O REPORT$ ! ,MAG>NA EV5TS W]E NOT LIKE ! PEOPLE 5GAG$ 9 ! EV5TS1 JU/ AS !Y W]E NOT LIKE ,JAN OR ,MIRNA OR H] P>5TS OR ME4 ,!Y W]E DIFF]5T1 NOT BECAUSE ( !IR VIEWS OR !IR BIASES1 BUT BECAUSE ( !IR ACTIVITY4 ,!SE DIFF]5CES DIDN'T RESIDE 9 ! P]SONAL B5EVOL5CE OR MALEVOL5CE ( ! REPORT]S BUT 9 ! 9/RUM5T !Y S]V$4 ,GROSS1 UNBRIDGEABLE *ASMS SEP>AT$ TWO GR\PS ( PEOPLE 5GAG$ 9 MUTUALLY ANTAGONI/IC ACTIVITIES4 ,! WORK]S ( ,MAG>NA W]E DESP]ATELY TRY+ TO CEASE TO BE :AT !Y W]E1 TO FREE !MSELVES FROM ! R\T9E ?AT HAD REPRESS$ !M1 :ILE ! REPORT]S MADE NO EF=T TO CEASE TO BE :AT !Y W]E BUT ON ! CONTR>Y ?REW !MSELVES PASSIONATELY 9TO !IR SPECIAL R\T9E4 ,! ,MAG>NA WORK]S W]E DESP]ATELY TRY+ TO COMMUNICATE DIRECTLY ) EA* O!R & ) !IR LIKES ELSE:]E :ILE ! REPORT]S W]E SPREAD+ !IR REPORTAGES BETWE5 LIKE & LIKE1 9T]PRET+ EA* TO ! O!R1 PORTRAY+ EA* TO ! O!R ?R\< A GLASS ?AT DIDN'T REFLECT ! EXP]I5CES ( ! 9DIVIDUAL ON EI!R SIDE BUT ONLY ! REPORT]'S4 ,! WORK]S W]E /RUGGL+ = LIVES :I* W]E NOT 9T]PRET$1 DEF9$1 M$IAT$ OR REPRES5T$ :ILE ! NEWSPAP]S C\LD ONLY 9T]PRET1 DEF9E1 M$IATE & REPRES5T BECAUSE ?AT'S !IR ESS5TIAL PURPOSE1 !IR NATURE4 ,LOCK$ 9TO ! WORLD ( REPRES5TATIONS1 ! REPORT]S C\LDN'T SEE A /RUGGLE AGA9/ REPRES5TATIONS AS ANY?+ O!R ?AN A /RUGGLE BETWE5 ONE REPRES5TATION & ANO!R4 ,I'M NOT EV5 M5TION+ ! FACT ?AT ALMO/ ALL ! REPORT]S W]E ACTUAL AG5TS ( ! ,/ATE1 (FICIALS :O E>N$ !IR LIVELIHOOD BY FALSIFY+ WORK]S' /RUGGLES4 ,NEWSPAP]S CAN'T COEXI/ ) OR S]VE HUMAN BE+S FI<T+ TO ABOLI% REPORTAGE & CREATE COMMUNICATION2 !Y'RE BAS$ ON ! IMPOSSIBILITY ( COMMUNITY4 

,?IS WAS :AT ,I WAS LE>N+ AB\T NEWSPAP]S TWELVE YE>S AGO :5 Y\ W]E WRIT+ ME AB\T Y\R NEWSPAP] >TICLES4 ,I DIDN'T SEE Y\R LETT]2 ,I CAN'T GUESS IF ,I W\LD HAVE BE5 ANGRY OR PLEAS$1 ,I KN[ ,I W\LDN'T HAVE BE5 PLEAS$ BY Y\R HI< REG>D = \R ACTIVITY AT ! C>TON PLANT EI<T YE>S E>LI]1 NOR BY Y\R 5?USIASM = ! PRESS4 ,BUT ,I ?9K ONE ASPECT ( Y\R LETT] W\LD HAVE PLEAS$ ME V]Y MU*4 ,Y\R LETT] WAS AN ATTEMPT AT DIRECT COMMUNICATION BETWE5 TWO 9DIVIDUALS SEP>AT$ BY IMP5ETRABLE POLITICAL & GEOGRAPHICAL B>RI]S1 AN 9/ANCE ( ! COMMUNICATION ! ,MAG>NA WORK]S W]E DESP]ATELY /RUGGL+ TO CREATE4 ,MAYBE IT WAS ?IS *>ACT]I/IC ( Y\R LETT] ?AT ANTAGONIZ$ ! AU?ORITIES4 ,MAYBE !IR FE> ( DIRECT COMMUNICATION ACROSS !IR FRONTI]S IS F> GREAT] ?AN \R TRU/ 9 IT4 ,MAYBE ! ULTIMATE CONC]N ( ! ,/ATE IS TO KEEP SU* COMMUNICATION FROM TAK+ PLACE3 ?AT'S ! C5TRAL PURPOSE ( ! F5CES & ! WALLS1 ! C5SORS & ! PAID LI>S4 ,LETT]S LIKE Y\RS VANI% 9 NORMAL TIMES2 IT W\LD HAVE BE5 A MIRACLE IF SU* A LETT] HAD REA*$ ITS DE/9ATION 9 A TIME ( CRISIS4 

,I CAN BELIEVE ?AT SU* A LETT] W\LD HAVE BE5 CONFISCAT$1 & EV5 ?AT A MESS5G] C>RY+ SU* LETT]S W\LD HAVE BE5 >RE/$4 ,BUT ,I /ILL CAN'T BELIEVE ?AT ,JAN & ,I C\LD HAVE BE5 >RE/$ M]ELY BECAUSE SU* LETT]S W]E ADDRESS$ TO US4 & BE=E WE HAD EV5 SE5 !M4 ,?IS POSSIBILITY W\LD BE SLI<TLY MORE PLAUSIBLE IF WE HADN'T BE5 DO+ ANY?+ AT ! TIME1 IF ,I HAD REMA9$ 9 ! /UPOR ( RESIGNATION1 IF ,I HAD CONT9U$ TO *ANNEL ALL MY 5]GY & 5?USIASM 9TO ,SUNDAY AFT]NOON REPAIR+ & DECORAT+ ( ! 9T]IOR ( ?IS H\SE4 ,IT WASN'T Y\R LETT] BUT ! EV5T Y\ ASK$ AB\T 9 ?AT LETT]1 ! ,MAG>NA UPRIS+1 ?AT WOKE ME FROM ?AT /UPOR & %AM$ ME 9 ! FACE ( MY RESIGNATION4 

,:5 ,I HE>D ! FIR/ RUMORS ( A WIDESPREAD RIS+ ,I PAID NO ATT5TION TO !M4 ,IT'S NOT ?AT ,I ?\<T !Y W]5'T TRUE4 ,I HAD LE>N$ DUR+ MY FIR/ IMPRISONM5T ?AT SU* RUMORS CONTA9$ DESCRIPTIONS ( REAL EV5TS4 ,I BEGAN TO TAKE AN 9T]E/ :5 ,JAN & SEV]AL O!R WORK]S BR\<T NEWSPAP]S 9TO ! /EEL PLANT4 ,! FANATICISM ) :I* ! NEWSPAP]S D5I$ ALL ! RUMORS 9DICAT$ ?AT AT LEA/ SOME ( !M W]5'T ONLY TRUE BUT ALSO CURR5T4 

,H[EV]1 :AT CONFIRM$ ! RUMORS WASN'T ! PRESS BUT DIRECT COMMUNICATION ) ,MAG>NA WORK]S4 ,ONE ( ! WORK]S 9 ! /EEL PLANT PRET5D$ TO BE ILL & W5T TO VISIT HIS FAMILY1 :O LIV$ 9 A SMALL VILLAGE ON ! FRONTI] ( ,MAG>NA & HAD RELATIVES ACROSS ! FRONTI]4 ,HE SUCCE$$ 9 EVAD+ ! BORD] GU>DS & 9 COMMUNICAT+ ) HIS RELATIVES4 

,AS SOON AS HE RETURN$ FROM HIS VILLAGE ALL ! WORK]S 9 \R SECTION ( ! PLANT GA!R$ >\ND HIM LIKE FLIES1 QUE/ION+ HIM AB\T EV]Y DETAIL ( :AT HE HAD LE>N$4 ,JAN WAS ! MO/ P]SI/5T2 HE SIMPLY C\LDN'T /OP ASK+ QUE/IONS & HE REPEAT$LY ASK$ ! SAME QUE/IONS4 ,HE C\LDN'T BELIEVE :AT HE HE>D4 ,SOME:]E 9 ! WORLD PEOPLE JU/ LIKE US HAD />T$ DO+ EXACTLY :AT ,JAN HAD ALWAYS WANT$ TO DO2 !Y HAD />T$ TO BREAK ! *A9 ?AT %ACKL$ !M TO ! MON/] ?AT CONSUM$ !M2 !Y HAD />T$ TO MOVE = !MSELVES4 

,\R FELL[ WORK] WASN'T ABLE TO ANSW] SEV]AL ( ,JAN'S QUE/IONS & ,I /ILL DON'T KN[ ! ANSW]S TODAY4 ,HE TOLD US ?AT REPRESSIVE OLD FUNCTION>IES W]E BE+ \/$ FROM !IR PO/S BUT C\LDN'T TELL US IF !Y W]E BE+ REPLAC$ BY REPRESSIVE NEW FUNCTION>IES 9 SIMIL> PO/S4 ,HE TOLD US WORK]S' C\NCILS W]E BE+ =M$ 9 FACTORIES & WORK%OPS BUT C\LDN'T TELL US AB\T ! EXT5T TO :I* POLITICIANS & !IR ORGANIZATIONS W]E BEH9D ! C\NCILS4 ,JAN REPEAT$LY ASK$1 0,>E !Y DO+ ?IS = !MSELVES OR = ! PRODUCTIVE =CES80 ,?IS C\LDN'T BE ANSW]$ EI!R4 

,YET 9 SPITE ( ALL ! UNANSW]$ QUE/IONS IT WAS CLE> TO US ?AT A POPULATION HAD BEGUN TO /IR1 ?AT ANCI5T SOCIAL /RUCTURES HAD />T$ TO CRUMBLE4 ,PEOPLE LIKE \RSELVES HAD SUDD5LY TURN$ AGA9/ ! APP>ATUS 9TO :I* !Y HAD BE5 P\R+ !IR LIVES4 ,WE DIDN'T KN[ IF !Y W]E DET]M9$ TO RECOV] !IR :OLE LIVES OR IF !Y W]E ALREADY LOOK+ = HALF-WAY /ATIONS1 IF !IR /RUGGLE WAS ALREADY BE+ *ANNEL$ 9TO DEAD 5DS4 ,BUT :]EV] !IR /RUGGLE 5D$1 WE W]E CONV9C$ ?AT IT HAD BEGUN AS A /RUGGLE AGA9/ ! 5TIRE SOCIAL APP>ATUS ?AT HAD %AP$ 9DIVIDUALS 9TO TOOLS ?AT S]V$ ITS 5DS4 ,:]EV] !Y W]E EV5TUALLY *ANNEL$1 IT WAS CLE> ?AT ! WORK]S ( ,MAG>NA HAD /OPP$ BE+ WORK]S & BY ?AT ACT HAD ALREADY MADE ! IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE2 !Y HAD ALREADY CREAT$ ! FIELD 9 :I* JOBS C\LD GIVE WAY TO PROJECTS & PRODUCTION TO CREATION4 

,I DON'T ?9K ,I C\LD HAVE ANSW]$ ANY ( Y\R QUE/IONS2 ,I DIDN'T KN[ ANY MORE AB\T ! ,MAG>NA /RUGGLE ?AN Y\ DID4 ,\R FELL[ WORK]'S VISIT TO HIS FAMILY WAS ! ONLY DIRECT 9=MATION WE HAD4 ,MY NE>NESS TO ,MAG>NA WAS C\NT]ACT$ BY A MORE TOTAL SUPPRESSION ( 9=MATION4 ,I WAS CONV9C$1 AS Y\ W]E1 ?AT A REVOLUTION HAD BROK5 \T1 A REVOLUTION AS EXT5SIVE & PR(\ND AS ! ONE ,LUISA HAD EXP]I5C$4 ,IT WAS DUR+ ?OSE EV5TS ?AT ,I BEGAN TO QUE/ION ,LUISA'S 9T]PRETATION ( H] EXP]I5CE & TO CONTRA/ IT ) ,MANUEL'S ACC\NTS4 ,IT WAS !N ?AT ,I BEGAN TO UND]/& ,MANUEL'S AS WELL AS ,JAN'S >GUM5TS4 ,IT BECAME CLE> TO ME ?AT IF !RE W]E WORK]S 9 ,MAG>NA :OSE JOB HAD BE5 TO %OVEL SCRAPS ( BURN+ HOT METAL ONTO A CONVEYOR BELT1 ?OSE WORK]S C\LDN'T POSSIBLY BE MOTIVAT$ BY ! DESIRE TO %OVEL ! SAME BURN+ SCRAPS ONTO ! SAME CONVEYOR BELT 0ON !IR [N40 ,WE DIDN'T NE$ /RIKES1 B>RICADES OR BLOOD%$ = ?AT2 WE W]E ALREADY DO+ ?AT ON \R [N4 ,?IS WAS CLE> NOT ONLY TO ,JAN & ME BUT TO EV]YONE ,I WORK$ )4 

,?IS WAS ALSO CLE> TO ,MIRNA1 DESPITE ! FACT ?AT ! SUP]VISION AS WELL AS ! NOISE AT H] CLO?+ FACTORY MADE COMMUNICATION IMPOSSIBLE1 DESPITE ! FACT ?AT AFT] WORK %E DIDN'T TALK TO ANYONE BUT RAN DIRECTLY TO ! NURS]Y TO PICK UP ,VESNA4 0,(FICIALS WE'VE NEV] SE5 BE=E WALK UP & D[N ! AISLES10 %E TOLD ME4 0,& !Y'RE SO N]V\S1 SO AFRAID2 !Y ACT AS IF AT ANY 9/ANT WE W]E GO+ TO WALK (F ) ! MA*9]Y & ! CLO?+4 ,IF WE ONLY HAD ! N]VE60 

,DISCUSSION ( ! ,MAG>NA EV5TS WAS ALMO/ IMPOSSIBLE AT ,MIRNA'S FACTORY1 AS IT WAS 9 MO/ O!R FACTORIES & WORK%OPS4 ,BUT IT WASN'T IMPOSSIBLE AT ! PLANT :]E ,JAN & ,I WORK$1 C]TA9LY NOT 9 \R SECTION4 ,!RE W]E NO AISLES 9 :I* POLICE AG5TS C\LD WALK UP & D[N1 & ! HEAT 9 :I* WE WORK$ DIDN'T MOTIVATE ANY (FICIALS TO TAKE AN 9T]E/ 9 \R CONV]SATIONS4 ,I'VE ALREADY M5TION$ ?AT \R =EMAN WAS A =EMAN ONLY ON PAP] & CONSEQU5TLY WE W]5'T SUP]VIS$4 ,I'M ALSO CONV9C$ !RE W]E NO POLICE AG5TS AMONG US2 ! AU?ORITIES HAD A H>D 5\< TIME F9D+ PEOPLE WILL+ TO DO ! %OVEL+4 ,WE W]E UNSUP]VIS$ BUT WE W]E ALSO COMPLETELY ISOLAT$ FROM ALL ! O!R WORK]S 9 ! /EEL PLANT2 FROM ! MOM5T WE 5T]$ \R SECTION ( ! PLANT TO ! MOM5T WE LEFT WE H>DLY SAW ANYONE :O DIDN'T WORK 9 \R SECTION4 ,?IS DIDN'T PREV5T SEV]AL ( MY FELL[ WORK]S FROM TRY+ TO COMMUNICATE ) O!RS4 ,! COMMUNICATION TOOK PLACE AFT] WORK H\RS 9 ! RE/AURANTS & B>S1 ON ! /REET CORN]S & 9 ! P>K ( ! /EEL T[N4 ,IT WAS DIRECT1 FACE-TO-FACE COMMUNICATION2 IT DIDN'T TAKE PLACE ?R\< A NEWSPAP] LIKE ! ONE Y\R FRI5D ,DAMAN DESCRIB$1 A 0WORK]S' NEWSPAP]01 ! V]Y EXI/5CE ( SU* A NEWSPAP] W\LD HAVE REPLAC$ & ULTIMATELY SUPPRESS$ ! TYPE ( COMMUNICATION ?AT TOOK PLACE4 ,ONE 9DIVIDUAL EX*ANG$ VIEWS & FEEL+S ) ANO!R2 BE=E LONG EV]YONE 9 ! /EEL PLANT1 P]HAPS EV]YONE 9 ! T[N1 FELT :AT ! ,MAG>NA WORK]S MU/ HAVE FELT ON ! EVE ( !IR REVOLUTION3 ! DESIRE AS WELL AS ! ABILITY TO ?R[ (F !IR *A9S4 

,9 SPITE ( ! DEAF5+ NOISE & ! UNBE>ABLE HEAT1 MY WORKPLACE TURN$ 9TO A DISCUSSION CLUB4 ,EV]Y DAY SOMEONE HAD HE>D MORE RUMORS ?AT HAD SLIPP$ ACROSS ! BORD]2 EV]Y DAY ! PRESS CONFIRM$ ! RUMORS ) ITS FANATICAL D5IALS & DI/ORTIONS4 ,WE DISCUSS$ ! IMPLICATIONS & PROSPECTS ( EV]Y ACT2 WE DISCUSS$ \R [N POSSIBILITIES & PROSPECTS4 ,& WE KNEW ?AT SIMIL> DISCUSSIONS W]E TAK+ PLACE ELSE:]E 9 ! PLANT1 IF ONLY BECAUSE FEW] & FEW] WAGONS ( METAL PASS$ ?R\< \R SECTION4 ,! 5TIRE T[N C\LD HAVE BE5 LOCAT$ 9 ,MAG>NA2 IT RESPOND$ TO EV5TS 9 ,MAG>NA AS IF !Y W]E TAK+ PLACE 9SIDE ! /EEL PLANT4 

,UN=TUNATELY ,I DIDN'T TAKE P>T 9 ! ALL-NI<T DISCUSSIONS ?AT TOOK PLACE AFT] WORK 9 ! RE/AURANTS & B>S2 ,I W\LD HAVE HAD TO CAT* A TRA9 ?AT LEFT ?REE H\RS LAT] & ?US ELIM9ATE ! SMALL AM\NT ( TIME ,I SP5T ) ,MIRNA & ,VESNA4 ,BUT ,JAN'S ACC\NTS ( ?OSE MEET+S & DISCUSSIONS MADE ME FEEL ?AT ,I HAD TAK5 P>T 9 !M4 ,:5EV] TWO OR MORE PEOPLE MET !Y EX*ANG$1 NOT GREET+S1 BUT NEWS FROM ,MAG>NA2 BE=E LONG ALL W]E %\T+1 EA* \TDO+ ! O!R 9 D5\NC+ ! LIES FABRICAT$ BY ! PRESS4 ,AL?\< =MAL MEET+S W]E BANN$1 /EEL WORK]S :O MET 9=MALLY 9 B>S & RE/AURANTS TALK$ AB\T WRIT+ LETT]S TO ! NEWSPAP]S1 AB\T PASS+ RESOLUTIONS CRITICIZ+ ! PRESS1 AB\T S5D+ DELEGATIONS TO ! NEWSPAP] (FICES & EV5 AB\T GO+ ON /RIKE = ! SAKE ( HONE/ 9=MATION AB\T ! REVOLUTION 9 ,MAG>NA4 

,I WAS 5?USIA/IC AB\T ALL ! SUGGE/IONS & PROPOSALS1 BUT MY 5?USIASM WAS DAMP5$ BY ,JAN'S MISGIV+S4 ,JAN WAS 5?USIA/IC TOO1 BUT ONLY AB\T ! FACT ?AT ! HUMAN BE+S >\ND US HAD COME TO LIFE & />T$ TO /IR4 ,HE CONSID]$ ! AGITATION >\ND ! PRESS A WA/EFUL EXP5DITURE ( 5]GY ?AT C\LDN'T F9D O!R \TLETS4 ,JAN /AT$ HIS MISGIV+S TO O!RS :5EV] ! OCCASION >OSE1 BUT HE DID SO QUIETLY1 )\T 9SI/5CE1 )\T A POLITICIAN'S RHETORIC OR A MISSION>Y'S SELF-RI<TE\SNESS4 ,HE WAS CONV9C$ ?AT :AT WAS CLE> TO HIM W\LD SOON] OR LAT] BECOME CLE> TO EV]YONE4 ,IT DID BECOME CLE> TO ME & P]HAPS TO MANY O!RS ?AT \R AGITATION = AN HONE/ PRESS WAS GR\ND$ 9 AN ILLUSION & ?AT ?IS ACTIVITY WAS A SUB/ITUTE = ! REAL ACTIVITY1 WE W]E UNWILL+ OR UNABLE TO LAUN*4 

,:AT BECAME P]FECTLY OBVI\S TO ME IS ILLU/RAT$ BY Y\R EXP]I5CE ON ! UNIV]SITY'S NEWSPAP] /AFF4 ,Y\R ACTIVITY WAS ! TYPE ( 0HONE/ J\RNALISM0 WE W]E AGITAT+ =4 ,BUT :5 Y\ PRACTIC$ ?IS 0HONE/ J\RNALISM10 AU?ORITY IMM$IATELY SUPPRESS$ ! NEWSPAP]4 ,Y\ CLAIM ?AT ?IS SUPPRESSION WAS CAUS$ BY ! SP9ELESSNESS ( ! UNIV]SITY ADM9I/RATORS4 ,Y\'RE WRONG4 ,Y\R NEWSPAP] WAS SUPPRESS$ BECAUSE IT HAD /OPP$ C>RY+ \T ITS FUNCTION4 ,! NEWSPAP] IS AN 9/RUM5T BY :I* ! RUL+ M9ORITY %APES ! CONCEPTIONS ( ! MAJORITY4 0,HONE/ J\RNALISM0 IS NOT ITS FUNCTION BUT ITS MASK4 ,?OSE 9 P[] MAY AT TIMES TOL]ATE HONE/ J\RNALISM BUT ONLY IF !Y CONSID] IT H>MLESS4 ,Y\R [N EXP]I5CE PROVES ?IS4 ,AU?ORITY HAD ONLY TO PLACE ITS SIGNATURE ON A 0DIRECTIVE0 & Y\R HONE/ J\RNALISM VANI%$4 ,Y\R ATTITUDE TO ?IS IS AS RIDICUL\S AS ! IDEA ?AT A G5]AL'S BRA9 CAN BE A W>MONG] :ILE HIS M\? & HIS O!R ORGANS >E PACIFI/S4 ,! NEWSPAP] IS AN ORGAN ( ! RUL]S2 IT S]VES ?OSE 9 P[] OR ELSE IT IS NO?+1 IT DOESN'T EXI/4 ,?AT'S :Y \R AGITATION = AN HONE/ PRESS WAS A WA/E ( TIME4 ,I'M NOT TALK+ AB\T HONE/ REPORT]S4 ,WE HE>D AB\T HONE/ REPORT]S -- AFT] !Y W]E FIR$4 

,RESOLUTIONS W]E PASS$ & S5T TO NEWSPAP]S2 LETT]S W]E WRITT52 !RE W]E SEV]AL BRIEF WORK-/OPPAGES AT ! PLANT4 ,BUT ,I S5S$ A G5]AL FEEL+ ( FRU/RATION4 ,WE SEEM$ TO BE 9 CON/ANT MOTION BUT WE REMA9$ :]E WE'D BE5 BE=E4 ,! NEWSPAP]S OBVI\SLY DIDN'T PUBLI% \R LETT]S OR RESOLUTIONS NOR DID !Y GIVE ! SLI<TE/ 9DICATION ?AT SIMIL> ACTIVITY WAS TAK+ PLACE ELSE:]E4 ,BUT ! NEWSPAP]S W]5'T ! CAUSE ( \R 9ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE ) \R LIKES ELSE:]E2 !Y W]E M]ELY A SYMPTOM ( ?AT 9ABILITY4 ,:AT MADE DIRECT COMMUNICATION ) \R LIKES IMPOSSIBLE WAS ! ABS5CE ( COMMUNITY1 ! FACT ?AT 9T]M$I>IES /OOD BETWE5 \RSELVES & \R LIKES4 ,WE DIDN'T KN[ H[ TO BYPASS ! 9T]M$I>IES NOR H[ TO EXT5D \R H&S TO ?OSE :O /OOD ON ! O!R SIDE4 ,?AT'S :Y WE TURN$ TO ! 9T]M$I>IES !MSELVES = HELP1 ASK+ !M TO REFLECT ACCURATELY :AT \R BRO!RS W]E SAY+ & DO+1 ASK+ !M TO COMMUNICATE \R WORDS & \R GE/URES TO \R BRO!RS4 ,BUT ! 9T]M$I>IES1 ! PR(ESSIONAL 9T]PRET]S & IDEOLOGICAL SPECIALI/S1 C\LD COMMUNICATE & REFLECT ONLY !IR [N WORDS & GE/URES1 !Y C\LD DISPLAY ONLY ! 9SI<TS D]IV$ FROM !IR [N MODE ( LIV+4 

,WE ?\<T WE HAD NO:]E ELSE TO TURN & WE CONV9C$ \RSELVES ?AT IF ONLY ! 9T]M$I>IES REFLECT$ A PORTION ( ! TRU? AB\T ! ,MAG>NA WORK]S' /RUGGLE & IF ONLY !Y COMMUNICAT$ \R DESIRE TO TAKE P>T 9 ?AT /RUGGLE !N WORK]S ELSE:]E W\LD BEG9 TO RISE AS WELL4 ,IF ! 9T]M$I>IES C\LD ONLY BE BR\<T TO \R SIDE1 IF !IR 9/RUM5TS C\LD ONLY BE MADE TO S]VE \R /RUGGLE1 ! POLICE-RUN REGIMES W\LD TE> AT ! SEAMS -- 9 ! FACTORIES1 WORK%OPS & M9ES4 

,WE W]E WRONG4 ,SU* 9/RUM5TS C\LDN'T BE MADE TO S]VE \R /RUGGLE2 SU* 9T]M$I>IES C\LDN'T COMMUNICATE \R DESIRES4 ,!Y SEP>AT$ WORK] FROM WORK] & BRO!R FROM BRO!R LIKE =TIFI$ WALLS /&+ BETWE5 !M4 ,! ONLY ONE :O MOV$ 9 RESPONSE TO ANO!R'S MOTION WAS ONE :O COMMUNICAT$ ) ! O!R FACE TO FACE4 ,ONE :O DEP5D$ ON 9T]M$I>IES = 9=MATION DEP5D$ ON !M ALSO = GUIDANCE1 MOTION & LIFE4 

,! WORK]S 9 MY SECTION ( ! PLANT SUCCE$$ 9 COMMUNICAT+ ) ! RE/ ( ! WORK]S 9 ! PLANT1 BUT ?AT WAS ! BEG9N+ & ! 5D ( \R SUCCESS4 ,TO GO BEYOND ! PLANT WE TURN$ TO 9T]M$I>IES1 JU/ AS TO REA* !IR COMRADES ELSE:]E ! ,MAG>NA WORK]S TURN$ TO 9T]M$I>IES4 ,& ! 9T]M$I>IES !Y TURN$ TO TURN$ AGA9/ !M4 

,WORK]S 9 TANKS MURD]$ !IR BRO!RS ON ! /REETS ( ,MAG>NA4 ,! WORK]S 9 ! TANKS HAD BE5 9=M$ AB\T ! /RUGGLE1 NOT BY ?OSE 5GAG$ 9 IT1 BUT BY POLITICIANS' SPEE*ES & NEWSPAP] >TICLES2 !IR GE/URES W]E GUID$1 NOT BY ! S5SE ( SOLID>ITY ) !IR LIKES1 BUT BY SUBMISSION TO ! COMM&S ( SUP]IORS4 ,!Y AIM$ & FIR$ )\T SCRUPLE OR HESITATION BECAUSE !Y C\LDN'T SEE !IR OPPON5TS2 !IR VISION WAS BLOCK$1 NOT BY ! METAL CAS+ SURR\ND+ !M1 BUT BY ! IDEOLOGICAL CAS+ ?AT GRIPP$ !IR M9DS4 ,!Y AIM$ AT ! DEMONS DESCRIB$ BY ! SPEE*ES & NEWSPAP]S4 ,!Y FIR$ AT IMAGES4 ,BUT !Y KILL$ HUMAN BE+S4 

,! ,MAG>NA WORK]S C\LDN'T AIM OR FIRE ) ! SAME LACK ( SCRUPLE1 ) ! SAME C]TA9TY1 BECAUSE !Y KNEW ?AT !IR SCRUPLES & !IR UNC]TA9TIES W]E ONLY A FEW DAYS OLD2 !Y KNEW ?AT ONLY A FEW DAYS E>LI] !Y TOO HAD KN[N AB\T EA* O!R ONLY :AT !Y'D SE5 ON ! OPAQUE SCRE5S ?AT /OOD BETWE5 !M4 ,!Y HESITAT$ BE=E !Y FIR$4 ,BUT ?OSE 9 ! TANKS DIDN'T HESITATE4 

,= A MOM5T \R /UPOR & \R RESIGNATION GAVE WAY TO HOPE1 TO ! ANTICIPATION ( A LIFE :]E L>GE PROJECTS >E POSSIBLE1 :]E DREAMS CAN BE REALIZ$ 9 ! COMPANY ( VIBRANT1 IMAG9ATIVE & SYMPA!TIC HUMAN BE+S4 ,BUT \R HOPES W]E %ORT-LIV$4 ,! SOCIETY HELD TOGE!R BY ! M>KET & ! POLICE DIDN'T DIS9TEGRATE4 ,MAG>NA WORK]S W]E BURI$ 9 MASS GRAVES & \R HOPES W]E BURI$ ) !M4 ,WE HADN'T BE5 ABLE TO ADD ANY?+ MORE ?AN HOPES TO !IR /RUGGLE2 \R GE/URES HAD REMA9$ CONF9$ )9 B\ND>IES WE HADN'T CREAT$1 B\ND>IES WE HADN'T BE5 ABLE TO CROSS4 ,SOME?+ LIKE Y\R J\RNALI/IC PROJECT HAD BE5 ALL WE HAD REA*$ = DUR+ A MOM5T :5 A UNIV]SE ( POSSIBILITIES WASN'T V]Y F> FROM \R GRASP4 ,WE CALL$ = GOOD 9T]M$I>IES 9/EAD ( CREAT+ CONDITIONS 9 :I* NO 9T]M$I>IES C\LD ?RIVE4 ,WE CALL$ = AN HONE/ PRESS 9/EAD ( =G+ \R [N COMMUNICATION AS \R FIR/ /EP T[>D ! CREATION ( \R [N COMMUNITY4 ,! PEOPLE ( ,MAG>NA HAD />T$ TO /RUGGLE = SU* A COMMUNITY4 ,!Y W]E ISOLAT$ & DEFEAT$4 ,!Y W]E ISOLAT$ FROM US & FROM ?OSE LIKE US :O REMA9$ FASC9AT$ BY ALL OR P>T ( ! GLITT] ( ! MON>*S' WORLD4 ,WE W]E ISOLAT$ TOO1 BUT WE W]5'T DEFEAT$4 ,WE HADN'T EV5 BEGUN TO /RUGGLE4 

,Y>O/AN4 

,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #aige 3 ,Y>O/AN'S FIF? LETT] -- ,PUBLICATION4 

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