,SOPHIA'S ,?IRD ,LETT] 

#aigfaigf 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,FR$Y ,P]LMAN 

,TEXT 3 

,SOPHIA'S ?IRD LETT] 

  
  

,DE> ,Y>O/AN1  
  

,Y\ %\LD BE HAPPY TO LE>N ?AT ,SAB9A'S COMM5T AFT] %E READ Y\R LETT] WAS1 0,HE'S ABSOLUTELY RI<T40 

,) ?IS COMM5T1 ,SAB9A LIT A FUZE ON A /ICK ( DYNAMITE4 ,H] COMM5T GAVE RISE TO A DISCUSSION ?AT LA/$ ALL NI<T & TO SOME ( ! MO/ BITT] >GUM5TS ,I'VE EV] EXP]I5C$4 ,DUR+ ?IS DISCUSSION ,SAB9A & ,T9A =C$ ME TO ADMIT ?AT ,I DID ACTUALLY MAKE A *OICE ( ! TYPE Y\ DESCRIB$1 A *OICE BETWE5 ,LUISA & ,RON1 BETWE5 ! P$AGOGY Y\ CONDEMN & ! 09DIVIDUAL ACT ( REBELLION0 Y\ GLORIFY4 

,I HAD 9VIT$ ,LUISA TO SUPP] AS SOON AS Y\R LETT] CAME4 ,%E READ ! LETT] AS SOON AS %E >RIV$ BUT ! ONLY COMM5T %E MADE DUR+ SUPP] WAS1 0,BE SURE TO TELL HIM H[ PLEAS$ ,I WAS TO HE> AB\T ,JASNA40 

,T9A READ ! LETT] :5 %E GOT HOME FROM H] JOB4 ,:ILE WE ATE %E DIDN'T TAKE H] EYES (F ,LUISA2 %E C\LDN'T HIDE H] IMPATI5CE TO SEE ,LUISA RESPOND TO ! CRITIQUES Y\ MADE ( H]4 

,SAB9A DIDN'T %[ ANY IMPATI5CE AT ALL4 0,HAVE WE 9/ITUTIONALIZ$ ! LETT]-READ+ P>TY80 %E ASK$4 7,NEI!R %E NOR ,T9A HAD READ Y\R PREVI\S LETT] :5 IT CAME2 :5 ,SAB9A F9ALLY DID READ IT AFT] ,I S5T MY ANSW]1 %E HAD BE5 V]Y EXCIT$ TO LE>N ?AT 0,! ,MIRNA HE M>RI$ WAS ,JAN'S SI/]60 ,%E TOLD ME 0,I KNEW H]2 %E WAS A M>VEL607 

,\R :OLE DISCUSSION-REVOLV$ >\ND ! QUE/IONS Y\ RAIS$ 9 Y\R LETT]4 ,I CAN ?9K ( NO BETT] WAY TO ANSW] Y\ ?AN TO GIVE Y\ AN ACC\NT ( ! DISCUSSION4 

,SAB9A'S OP5+ COMM5T YIELDS ! EXPECT$ RESPONSE FROM ,LUISA3 0,ABSOLUTELY RI<T AB\T :AT8 ,AB\T ,MANUEL & ,ZD5EK & ,ANTON8 ,!Y'RE OBVI\SLY FICTIONS4 ,HE'S M]ELY GIV+ NAMES TO HIS RIDICUL\S >GUM5TS4 ,AFT] ALL1 HE CAN TELL US ANY?+ HE PLEASES4 ,HE CAN TELL ,SOPHIA H] LETT] CAUS$ HIS >RE/4 ,HE CAN TELL US ,M>C ,GLAVNI & ,ADRIAN ,POVR%AN >E TELEVISION />S4 ,FROM H]E WE CAN'T PROVE O!RWISE40 

0,HE DID GO \T ( HIS WAY TO TELL ME HE DIDN'T ?9K MY LETT] CAUS$ HIS >RE/10 ,I 9SI/4 

,T9A GRABS Y\R LETT] SAY+1 0,NOT EXACTLY10 & F9D+ ! SPOT1 %E PO9TS \T1 0,HE ASKS :AT ,LEM WAS DO+ !RE BESIDES DELIV]+ Y\R LETT]40 

,I TELL ,T9A ?AT AS F> AS ,I KNEW ?AT WAS ALL ,LEM WAS DO+4 

0,?AT DOESN'T EXACTLY CLE> Y\10 ,T9A PO9TS \T4 

,LUISA ADDS4 0,LEM TOLD ME ! 9VE/IGATORS TORTUR$ HIM TO F9D \T :O ELSE HE HAD LETT]S =4 ,Y\R LETT] WAS PRECISELY :AT 9T]E/$ !M40 

0,:AT DOES ?AT PROVE80 ,I ASK H]2 0?AT ,I WAS 9 FACT RESPONSIBLE = ,Y>O/AN'S >RE/80 

0,IT PROVES10 ,LUISA SAYS 9SI/5TLY1 0?AT ,Y>O/AN IS US+ ?AT ANCI5T LETT] ( Y\RS TO SUPPORT >GUM5TS :I* ,SAB9A CONSID]S ABSOLUTELY RI<T4 ,SPECIFICALLY ! REACTION>Y >GUM5T ?AT VICTIMS >E RESPONSIBLE = !IR [N OPPRESSION40 

,I TRY TO DEF5D Y\4 0,HE'S NOT 'US+' ! LETT] ?AT WAY4 ,HE DOESN'T MEAN ?AT >GUM5T TO BE TAK5 P]SONALLY4 ,! PO9T HE MAKES IS P]FECTLY CLE> TO ME4 ,WE DON'T ALWAYS KN[ ! CONSEQU5CES ( \R ACTS4 ,HE DOESN'T SAY MY LETT] CAUS$ HIS >RE/4 ,HE SAYS IT MI<T HAVE4 ,& HE'S RI<T :5 HE SAYS ,I C\LDN'T HAVE IMAG9$ IT MI<T HAVE HAD SU* A CONSEQU5CE40 

0,Y\'RE APOLOGIZ+ = HIM10 ,LUISA 9SI/S4 0,HIS PO9T IS TO MAKE ALL ( US RESPONSIBLE = ! E/ABLI%M5T ( A POLICE /ATE40 

,N[ ,T9A COMES TO Y\R DEF5SE BY PO9T+ \T1 0,HE DOESN'T EXACTLY SAY ?AT EI!R40 

,LUISA 9SI/S1 0,?AT'S EXACTLY :AT HE DOES SAY6 ,HE 9S9UATES IT ?R\<\T HIS LETT]4 ,EV5 ?AT CRYPTIC REF]5CE TO ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS NOT BE+ JAIL$ IS AN ACCUSATION --0 

0,COME (F ?AT10 ,T9A OBJECTS4 0,HE SAYS IT WAS ,SOPHIA'S REF]5CE TO ,ALB]TS ?AT WAS CRYPTIC4 ,%E TOLD HIM ,ALB]TS WASN'T >RE/$4 ,WELL ,I'M AS SURPRIS$ AS ,Y>O/AN MU/ HAVE BE54 ,! LA/ TIME Y\ W]E H]E Y\ TOLD ME ,ALB]TS HAD BE5 FIR$ FROM HIS JOB JU/ BE=E Y\ W]E ALL >RE/$ SO ,I OBVI\SLY ASSUM$ ,ALB]TS WAS >RE/$ LIKE ! RE/ ( Y\40 

0,ALB]TS OBVI\SLY WASN'T >RE/$60 ,LUISA TELLS US4 

0,:AT'S SO OBVI\S AB\T IT80 ,T9A ASKS4 

0,IT WAS ,ALB]TS :O MADE \R RELEASE POSSIBLE6 ,HE C\LDN'T HAVE DONE ?AT FROM JAIL10 ,LUISA SAYS4 

0,DOES ,Y>O/AN KN[ ?AT80 ,T9A ASKS4 

0,( C\RSE HE DOES60 ,LUISA 9SI/S4 0,& HE ACTS AS IF ALL ( US W]E SUSPICI\S BECAUSE ( ?AT1 AS IF ALL ( US HAD CONSPIR$ TO KEEP HIM 9 JAIL40 

0,NO HE DOESN'T10 ,T9A SAYS1 H&+ Y\R LETT] TO ,LUISA4 0,READ IT AGA94 ,Y\ TREAT ?IS LETT] EXACTLY ! SAME WAY HE SAYS Y\ TREAT Y\R PA/3 BY DISREG>D+ ! FACTS40 

0,REALLY1 ,LUISA1 Y\'RE MAK+ HIM SAY ! OPPOSITE ( :AT HE SAID10 ,I PO9T \T4 0,9 BO? LETT]S ,Y>O/AN MAKES IT CLE> ?AT HE HAD NO REASON 9 ! WORLD TO SUSPECT ,ALB]TS1 ?AT ! SUSPICION WAS CREAT$ BY ,CLAUDE40 

0,Y\'RE BO? LEAD+ ME AWAY FROM ! PO9T10 ,LUISA 9SI/S4 0,:5 ,Y>O/AN SPEAKS ( HIS SUSPICION ( ,ALB]TS HE 9V>IABLY USES WORDS LIKE 'SUSPICION' & '5EMY' EXACTLY ! SAME WAY ! POLICE USE ?OSE T]MS40 

0,?AT'S A DIFF]5T PO9T10 ,SAB9A TELLS H]1 P\R+ EA* ( US C(FEE4 

0,DON'T 9T]RUPT ME6 ,9 BO? LETT]S HE DRAGS HIS SUSPICION ( ,ALB]TS --0 

0,WELL IT IS A DIFF]5T PO9T60 ,T9A TELLS H]4 

0,!N LET ME F9I% MY DIFF]5T PO9T60 ,LUISA %\TS4 0,HE SAYS ?AT :5EV] WE CONSID] SOMEONE SUSPICI\S WE H& HIM TO ! POLICE TO BE %OT6 ,:5EV] WE CONSID] SOMEONE AN 5EMY WE C>RY \T A POGROM6 ,SOPHIA RI<TLY TOLD HIM \R PROJECT WAS TO COMMUNICATE1 NOT EXCOMMUNICATE4 ,HE TURN$ ?AT COMPLETELY >\ND --0 

,T9A 9T]RUPTS AGA94 0,HE ONLY SAID HE HAD SE5 A LOT ( PEOPLE PASSIVELY ACCEPT ! >RE/ ( !IR FRI5DS40 

0,?AT'S :AT ,I'M TALK+ AB\T6 ,>RE/S & IMPRISONM5TS >E HIS :OLE FRAME ( REF]5CE4 ,IT'S ! FRAME ( REF]5CE ( ! POLICE4 ,:5 ,I'M SUSPICI\S ( SOMEONE1 ,I DON'T ?9K ( >RE/ & IMPRISONM5T4 ,! PO9T IS TO DE/ROY ! 9/ITUTION1 NOT ! 9DIVIDUAL40 

0,H[ DO Y\ DO ?AT80 ,T9A ASKS4 

0,IF Y\ CAN'T DI/+UI% ! 9/ITUTION FROM ! 9DIVIDUAL1 Y\R UNOR?ODOX $UCATION DIDN'T AM\NT TO MU*60 

,I SWALL[ ! 9SULT BECAUSE ,I'M EMB>RASS$ = ,T9A1 & MY EMB>RASSM5T GR[S :5 ,T9A ASKS1 0,H[ DO Y\ DI/+UI% BETWE5 !M80 

,T9A'S NAIVE QUE/ION TRANS=MS ,LUISA 9TO ! P$AGOGUE Y\ REMEMB] SO WELL4 0,A PRIE/ )\T A CLOAK OR A *UR* IS M]ELY AN 9DIVIDUAL4 ,SU* A PRIE/ IS LIKE A *ILD :O DOESN'T KN[ H[ TO MAKE ANY?+ USEFUL4 ,HE \<T TO BE TREAT$ LIKE A *ILD & TAU<T TO DO USEFUL ?+S40 

0,:AT AB\T A SOLDI] OR A BOSS OR A BUREAUCRAT80 ,T9A ASKS4 

0,A SOLDI] )\T A GUN OR AN >MY IS LIKE A PRIE/ )\T A CLOAK OR A *UR*2 HE %\LD BE KEPT FROM DANG]\S IMPLEM5TS LIKE A *ILD FROM FIRE1 BUT HE %\LD BE GIV5 A *ANCE TO DEVELOP 9 O!R WAYS40 

0,:AT IF HE HOLDS ON TO HIS IMPLEM5TS & ?REAT5S TO KILL Y\80 

,EXASP]AT$1 ,I ASK ,T9A1 0,:AT >E Y\ GETT+ AT80 

0,EI!R ,I'M DEF5D+ VIOL5CE OR ,I'M LO/10 ,T9A TELLS ME4 ,%E CR\*ES D[N 9 H] *AIR :5 ,LUISA & ,I LAU< AT H]4 

,SAB9A DOESN'T LAU<4 0,:AT IS Y\R PO9T1 ,LUISA8 ,Y>O/AN USES T]MS LIKE SUSPICION & 5EMY ! WAY ! POLICE USE !M4 ,SO80 

0,HE CAN USE T]MS ANY WAY HE PLEASES4 ,I DON'T MEAN ! SAME ?+ BY !M10 ,LUISA TELLS H]4 

0,A P]SON :O SAYS ONE ?+ & MEANS ANO!R IS A HYPOCRITE40 ,?AT /ATEM5T SUMM>IZES ,SAB9A'S VIEW ( ,LUISA4 0,TAKE ! SLOGAN1 ',FACTORIES %\LD BE ADM9I/]$ BY ! WORK]S !MSELVES4'0 

0,:AT AB\T IT80 ,LUISA ASKS4 

0,:AT DO Y\ MEAN BY IT80 ,SAB9A ASKS H]4 

0,I C]TA9LY DON'T MEAN ',G5<IS ,KHAN = BOSS'6 ,I MEAN EXACTLY :AT ! SLOGAN SAYS60 ,LUISA %\TS4 

0,YET ALL ?OSE FACTORIES >E N[ BOSS$ BY ,G5<IS40 

0,NOT BECAUSE ( ME60 ,LUISA %\TS4 

0,:O 9/ALL$ !M80 ,SAB9A ASKS4 

0,! NEW BOSSES OBVI\SLY W]5'T 9/ALL$ BY ! V]Y PEOPLE :O F\<T AGA9/ !M60 ,LUISA ANSW]S4 

,SAB9A ASKS1 0,DID Y\ EV] MEET ANYONE :O F\<T TO 9/ALL A NEW BOSS80 

0,SOME PEOPLE F\<T ) NO?+ BUT WORDS6 ,9 PRACTICE --0 

0,9 PRACTICE !Y C>RI$ ! SAME PLAC>D Y\ C>RI$10 ,SAB9A TELLS H]4 

,I 9T]V5E 9 FAVOR ( ,LUISA4 0,?AT'S NOT FAIR1 ,SAB9A4 ,SOME ( ! PEOPLE :O C>RI$ ?OSE PLAC>DS KNEW P]FECTLY WELL ?AT !IR [N P>TY LEAD]S W]E GO+ TO SET !MSELVES UP AS NEW BOSSES40 

0,W]E SOME ( ?OSE PEOPLE WORK]S80 ,SAB9A ASKS ME4 

0,I DIDN'T SAY !Y W]5'T4 ,SOME WORK]S LOOK$ =W>D TO ! DAY :5 !IR POLITICIAN W\LD BE BOSS10 ,I ADMIT4 

0,BUT ! OV]:ELM+ MAJORITY ( WORK]S OPPOS$ ! E/ABLI%M5T ( ! NEW BOSSES80 %E ASKS ME4 

0,OBVI\SLY60 ,I 9SI/4 0,YON KN[ ?AT AS WELL AS ,I DO40 

0,!N :Y DIDN'T ! OV]:ELM+ MAJORITY ?R[ \T ! NEW BOSSES AS SOON AS !Y 9/ALL$ !MSELVES80 ,SAB9A ASKS ME4 0,ACCORD+ TO ,Y>O/AN ONLY ! WORK]S ( A S+LE T[N ROSE AGA9/ ?OSE BOSSES DUR+ ! PA/ TW5TY YE>S40 

0,! FACT ?AT ?OSE WORK]S ROSE PROVES ?AT WORK]S W]E OPPOS$ TO ! NEW BOSSES10 ,I >GUE4 

0,REALLY80 ,SAB9A ASKS S>CA/ICALLY4 0,DOESN'T IT PROVE ?AT ALL O!R WORK]S SUBMITT$ TO ! NEW BOSSES80 

0,!Y W]E OV]P[]$10 ,I 9SI/4 

0,YES !Y W]E6 ,PRECISELY BECAUSE ALL O!R WORK]S ACQUIESC$6 ,IF WORK]S HAD RIS5 9 ALL ! T[NS1 NO =CE C\LD HAVE OV]P[]$ !M40 ,:ILE SAY+ ?IS4 ,SAB9A LEAPS \T ( H] *AIR1 GRABS ME & !N ,T9A BY ! WAI/1 & />TS TUGG+ US T[>D ! KIT*54 0,Y\R PLACE IS 9 ! KIT*560 %E %\TS4 

0,LET GO ( ME60 ,T9A %\TS1 PULL+ H]SELF LOOSE1 :ILE ,I SCREAM1 0,SAB9A6 ,:AT'S GOTT5 9TO Y\80 

,SAB9A LETS ME GO4 ,!N %E PO9TS T[>D ! KIT*5 DOOR &1 TRY+ TO ACT LIKE AN >MY (FIC] GIV+ A COMM&1 SAYS1 0,LUISA6 ,T9A6 ,TAKE ,SOPHIA 9TO ! KIT*56 ,ON ! D\BLE60 

0,:AT ON E>? =80 ,LUISA PROTE/S4 0,HAVE Y\ GONE CRAZY80 

0,& Y\'RE TELL+ ME A H&FUL ( POLITICIANS CAN GIVE ORD]S TO ! MAJORITY ( WORK]S )\T ! MAJORITY'S ACQUIESC5CE80 ,SAB9A ASKS4 

,:ILE ,SAB9A GL>ES TRIUMPHANTLY AT ,LUISA4 ,T9A SLYLY SLIPS BEH9D ,SAB9A1 GETS ON ALL F\RS & NODS TO ME4 ,I GIVE ,SAB9A A SLI<T PU% & %E FALLS FLAT ON H] BACK4 ,T9A SLIPS \T FROM UND] ,SAB9A'S LEGS1 RAISES ,SAB9A'S H& & PROCLAIMS1 0,! LOS]60 

,LUISA & ,I LAU< & APPLAUD4 ,?IS IS TO BE ,LUISA'S ONLY MOM5T ( RELIEF4 

,REMA9+ /RET*$ \T ON ! FLOOR1 ,SAB9A TELLS ,LUISA & ME1 0,?IS IS :AT HAPP5S TO A JAIL] :5 ! MAJORITY DOESN'T WANT JAIL]S4 ,Y\ ?9K ! MAJORITY DIDN'T WANT JAIL]S BACK !N4 ,BUT ,Y>O/AN IS RI<T4 ,Y\'RE NURS+ AN ILLUSION4 ,SOPHIA1 Y\ DIDN'T BELIEVE ,LEM :5 HE TOLD Y\ HE'D BE5 TORTUR$4 ,:AT AB\T Y\1 ,LUISA8 ,DID Y\ BECOME DISILLUSION$ ) ?OSE FELL[ WORK]S :5 ,LEM TOLD Y\ AB\T ! TORTURES80 

0,LEM WASN'T TORTUR$ BY WORK]S BUT BY 9QUISITORS1 BY PRISON (FICIALS10 ,LUISA 9SI/S4 "9 

0,BY WORK]S :O OBEY$ ! ORD]S ( PRISON (FICIALS40 

0,?AT'S H[ ,Y>O/AN SEES IT10 ,LUISA TELLS H]4 

0,:Y DID Y\ DISOBEY ME :5 ,I ORD]$ Y\ TO DRAG ,SOPHIA TO ! KIT*580 ,SAB9A ASKS H]4 

0,Y\ UNPR9CIPL$ --0 

0,TRY AGA960 ,SAB9A %\TS TO H]4 

0,W\LD Y\ TWO LIKE TO FI<T IT \T ) KNIVES OR DO Y\ WANT GUNS80 ,T9A ASKS1 BUT H] JOKE GOES UNAPPRECIAT$4 

0,Y\ SP5T Y\R :OLE LIFE AMONG HOODLUMS4 ,Y\ HAVE NO RI<T TO BREA! A WORD AB\T WORK]S :O F\<T TO FREE !MSELVES40 ,SAY+ ?IS1 ,LUISA GETS UP1 TURNS H] BACK TO ,SAB9A & WALKS T[>D ! BOOKCASE4 

,SAB9A TURNS TO ME4 0,NEXT TIME Y\ WRITE ,Y>O/AN ASK HIM TO TELL Y\ MORE AB\T ,MANUEL4 ,ASK HIM H[ MANY FRI5DS HE HAD :5 HE REFUS$ TO OBEY ! ORD]S ( ! UNION LEAD]S4 ,ASK HIM IF !Y W]E ! MAJORITY4 ,ASK HIM IF ?OSE FRI5DS W]E HOODLUMS1 LIKE ,RON & ,I40 

,KEEP+ H] BACK TO ,SAB9A1 ,LUISA SNAPS1 0,!RE >5'T ANY HOODLUMS LIKE ,RON OR Y\ AMONG G5U9ELY REVOLUTION>Y WORK]S40 

0,ASK ,Y>O/AN10 ,SAB9A CONT9UES1 0IF ,MANUEL'S FRI5DS WANT$ TO TAKE POT %OTS AT ! UNION LEAD]S ! WAY ?AT RESI/ANCE FI<T] %OT AT ! NEW OCCUPI]S4 ,ASK HIM IF !Y WANT$ TO DEAL ) ! UNION (FICIALS ! SAME WAY Y\ & ,T9A DEALT ) ME --0 

0,:AT'LL ?AT PROVE80 ,I ASK4 

0,ASK HIM :I* SIDE LIQUIDAT$ ?OSE FRI5DS ( HIS4 ,ASK IF !Y W]E %OT BY ! >MY G5]ALS OR BY ! REVOLUTION>IES :O SPOKE 9 ! NAME ( ! WORK]S40 

0,BUT IT'S P]FECTLY CLE> :O KILL$ !M60 ,I 9SI/4 

0,:O80 ,SAB9A ASKS4 

,:ILE ,I SAY1 0,! G5]ALS10 ,T9A SIMULTANE\SLY SAYS1 0,! REVOLUTION>IES40 

,SAB9A W9S ANO!R B\T &1 AS IF %E HAD SUDD5LY GONE OV] TO H] SIDE1 ,LUISA BLURTS \T1 0,!RE W]E OBVI\SLY 5EMIES BEH9D ! L9ES AS WELL AS ACROSS ! TR5*ES40 

0,REALLY80 ,SAB9A P\NCES4 0,5EMIES :O W]E %OT8 ,I HAD ?\<T 5EMIES W]E DEFROCK$ & TREAT$ LIKE LITTLE *ILDR560 

0,!RE W]E PAID 5EMY AG5TS :O MURD]$ REVOLUTION>Y WORK]S & SABOTAG$ PRODUCTION10 ,LUISA CONT9UES4 

0,& :AT HAPP5$ TO !M80 ,T9A ASKS4 

0,!Y W]E %OT60 

0,BUT A :ILE AGO Y\ SAID Y\ DIDN'T USE ! T]M 5EMY ?AT WAY60 ,IT'S ,T9A'S TURN TO EMB>RASS ,LUISA4 

,NOT EMB>RASS$ 9 ! LEA/1 ,LUISA CONT9UES1 0,IF ?OSE SABOTEURS & ASSASS9S HADN'T BE5 CAU<T1 ! REVOLUTION W\LD HAVE BE5 DEFEAT$ RI<T AT ! />T40 

0,!N :Y DID EV]YONE LAU< AT ME BE=E80 ,T9A ASKS4 

,DISREG>D+ ,T9A1 ,SAB9A PLUNGES 94 0,SU* SABOTEURS & ASSASS9S W]E AN EV5 GREAT] ?REAT TO ! REVOLUTION>IES ?AN ! ATTACK+ MILIT>I/S1 W]5'T !Y80 

,I TRY TO W>N ,LUISA ?AT ,SAB9A IS LEAD+ H] 9TO A TRAP1 BUT ,LUISA 9SI/S ON WALK+ RI<T 9TO IT4 0,?AT'S RI<T1 SU* PEOPLE W]E ! GREATE/ DANG]4 ,! MILIT>I/S W]E VISIBLE 5EMIES1 !Y W]E OP5LY REACTION>Y1 !Y W]E ON ! O!R SIDE ( ! TR5*ES1 :]EAS !SE WEASELS W]E 9DI/+UI%ABLE FROM WORK]S4 ,!Y 9FILTRAT$ UNION MEET+S & WORK]S' MILITIAS2 !Y P>AD$ AS ! GREATE/ REVOLUTION>IES4 ,USUALLY !Y C\LDN'T BE SPOTT$ UNTIL AFT] !Y HAD DONE !IR DE$S OR PROCLAIM$ !IR REACTION>Y PROGRAMS40 

0,Y\ JU/ SAID !RE W]5'T ANY SU* PEOPLE 9 ?AT REVOLUTION10 ,T9A OBS]VES4 

0,!RE W]5'T10 SAYS ,SAB9A4 0,DE/RUCTIVE HOODLUMS LIKE ,RON DIDN'T EXI/ BECAUSE !Y W]E ALL %OT BY ! GOOD REVOLUTION>IES40 

,I PROTE/4 0,Y>O/AN DIDN'T SAY ANY?+ LIKE ?AT40 

0,ASK HIM60 ,SAB9A 9SI/S4 0,ASK HIM :AT ,MANUEL'S FRI5DS W]E LIKE & :O %OT !M60 

,LUISA IS 9T5T ON CONT9U+ H] >GUM5T4 0,Y>O/AN COMP>ES A GREAT HI/ORICAL RIS+ ( ! WORK+ POPULATION ) ! PETTY ?IEV]Y ( A HOOLIGAN4 ,HE DAMNS REVOLUTION>IES & GLORIFIES GANG/]S4 ,JAN1 ,MANUEL1 ,RON & ,Y>O/AN HIMSELF >E TYPES ?AT BECOME %OCK TROOPS ( REACTION>Y MOVEM5TS40 

,DELIB]ATELY DISREG>D+ ,LUISA'S NEWE/ OBS]VATION1 ,SAB9A ASKS ME1 0,:AT DID Y\ TELL HIM AB\T ,RON80 

,LUISA SAYS1 0,Y\ OBVI\SLY GLORIFI$ ,RON 9 Y\R LETT] TO ,Y>O/AN40 

0,NO ,I DIDN'T10 ,I TELL H]4 0,I ONLY DESCRIB$ ,RON4 ,I TOLD HIM ,RON /OLE BICYCLES4 ,TO ,Y>O/AN ?OSE !FTS W]E 9DIVIDUAL ACTS ( REBELLION4 ,IT WAS ,Y>O/AN :O GLORIFI$ HIM40 

0,& Y\ NEV] SAW HIM AS A REBEL80 ,SAB9A ASKS ME4 

0,WELL YES1 ,I DID AT ! BEG9N+10 ,I ADMIT4 0,I COMP>$ HIM TO ,Y>O/AN & ,I GLORIFI$ BO?4 ,BUT ,I WAS WRONG AB\T ,RON40 

0,:5 DID Y\ KN[ ?AT80 ,SAB9A ASKS ME4 

0,I KNEW IT BE=E ?AT NI<T :5 ,I WALK$ AWAY FROM BO? ( Y\1 ! NI<T :5 Y\ TOLD ME ,I WAS JU/ LIKE ,LUISA40 

0,DID Y\ BO!R TO REMEMB] ?AT OV] ALL !SE YE>S80 ,SAB9A ASKS ME4 

0,I WROTE IT D[N SO AS NEV] TO =GET IT4 ,Y\ HAD NO RI<T TO SAY ?AT40 

,LUISA ASKS1 0,WAS ?AT 9SULT+ TO Y\80 

,LEAV+ ME NO *ANCE TO ANSW]1 ,SAB9A SAYS1 0,Y\ WROTE IT D[N WRONG4 ,I SAID ?AT BE=E Y\ WALK$ AWAY FROM US1 BE=E ! C> WAS WRECK$4 ,Y\ W]E AN ASS ?AT NI<T40 

0,I ?\<T Y\ & ,RON HAD JU/ MADE LOVE ON ! BEA*60 

0,RON & ,I SWAM TOGE!R & ?AT WAS ALL6 ,SURELY Y\ KN[ ?AT N[6 ,RON KNEW :AT Y\'D ?9K4 ,HE SAID IF Y\ SUSPECT$ Y\R BE/ FRI5DS )\T ASK+ !M ANY?+1 HE WAS ?R\< ) Y\40 

,LUISA SAYS TO ME1 0,IT'S A GOOD ?+ Y\ WALK$ \T ON !M OR Y\'D HAVE /AY$ ) ?AT NE/ ( --0 

,T9A CUTS H] %ORT4 0,DON'T SAY IT4 ,PLEASE4 ,Y\'RE TALK+ AB\T ! PEOPLE :O GAVE ME FOOD1 LOVE & %ELT]1 :O MADE ME :AT ,I AM N[4 ,!Y W]E NOT A NE/4 ,!Y W]E ! GREAT SAGES ( ! AGE40 ,FEIGN+ AN UPP] CLASS AIR %E CONT9UES1 0,IF Y\ W\LD C>E TO COMP>E MY WIT ) ?AT ( Y\R [N PROTEGE1 SITT+ ON Y\R IMM$IATE LEFT1 ,I W\LD BE GLAD TO DEMON/RATE --0 

0,T9A60 ,I :ISP]1 EMB>RASS$ = ,LUISA BECAUSE ,SAB9A IS RO>+ ) LAU<T]4 ,I CAN H>DLY KEEP MYSELF FROM BUR/+ \T LAU<+1 BUT ,LUISA LOOKS MIS]ABLE4 

0,I'M H]E TOO1 Y\ KN[10 ,T9A PLEADS4 

,SOME?+ 9 ME EXPLODES4 0,I KN[ Y\ >E4 ,SO AM ,I4 ,LUISA4 Y\ HAVE NO RI<T TO CALL \R FRI5DS A NE/ ( ANY?+4 ,MY WEEKS ) ,RON W]E ! ONLY HAPPY WEEKS ,I SP5T H]E UNTIL ,I LEFT = COLLEGE4 ,YES1 HAPPY1 FILL$ ) ACTIVITY1 ) HUMOR1 ) LIFE4 ,:5 ,I LO/ ,RON & ,SAB9A MY 9SIDES EMPTI$4 ,I SP5T MY TIME />+ LIKE AN [L4 ,Y\ ?\<T EV]Y?+ WAS F9E BECAUSE WE TALK$ AB\T ! PA/ EV]Y EV5+4 ,PLEASE DON'T GET UP TO LEAVE1 ,LUISA6 ,I 5JOY$ \R DISCUSSIONS & !Y MEANT A GREAT DEAL TO ME -- ,BUT ,I DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE ONLY 9 ! PA/4 ,I WANT$ A PRES5T AS WELL4 ,NO1 Y\ DIDN'T KEEP ME FROM ANY?+4 ,Y\ PROHIBIT$ NO?+4 ,I KNEW ,I C\LD DO :ATEV] ,I PLEAS$ & LEAVE :5EV] ,I WANT$1 BUT ,I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL Y\ \R EV5+ TALKS W]5'T 5\< = ME1 ,I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL Y\ ,I LOV$ ,RON --0 

,SAB9A 9T]RUPTS ME1 0,I NEV] ?\<T --0 

0,I'M NOT DONE YET60 ,I TELL ,SAB9A4 0,IF ,RON LOV$ ME1 HE LOV$ ONLY HALF ( ME4 ,HE REJECT$ ! O!R HALF4 ,I KNEW ?AT LONG BE=E ! NI<T WE W5T TO ! BEA*1 ,RON KNEW IT & Y\ KNEW IT TOO6 ,IT WAS ALL SO OBVI\S TO ME ON ! NI<T ( ?AT S*OOL !FT :5 Y\ & ,RON CAME TO ! H\SE ) ! TWO BIKES Y\ WANT$ ME TO KEEP = Y\4 ,I HADN'T SE5 EI!R ( Y\ = ALMO/ A YE> & ,RON DIDN'T EV5 %[ HIS FACE4 ,Y\ DIDN'T TELL ME :AT Y\ W]E DO+ OR :]E Y\ W]E GO+4 ,! TWO ( Y\ US$ ME BUT Y\ DIDN'T TRU/ ME4 ,?AT'S NOT ! WAY Y\ TREAT :AT Y\'RE CALL+ Y\R BE/ FRI5D40 

,LUISA ASKS ,SAB9A1 0,DID Y\ TAKE P>T 9 ?AT S*OOL !FT80 

,I TURN ANGRILY TO ,LUISA1 0,IS ?AT ALL Y\ HE>D ME SAY8 ,YES1 %E TOOK P>T 9 IT6 ,SO DID ,I6 ,EV5 Y\ W]E AN ACCOMPLICE 9 IT60 

0,DON'T PLAY ,SAB9A'S GAMES ON ME60 ,LUISA %\TS4 

0,I'M NOT PLAY+ GAMES60 ,I %\T BACK4 0,ONE NI<T1 AFT] Y\ HAD GONE TO SLEEP1 ,I WOKE UP ) A />T BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS ?R[+ PEBBLES AT MY W9D[4 ,I LOOK$ \T & SAW ,SAB9A GR9N+ 9NOC5TLY1 AS IF ?R[+ PEBBLES AT W9D[S AT ?AT TIME ( NI<T W]E P]FECTLY NORMAL4 ,I RAN TO ! DOOR & LET H] 94 ,I ?\<T SOME?+ HORRIBLE HAD HAPP5$4 ,SAB9A CALMLY BR\<T TWO BICYCLES 940 

0,W\LD Y\ M9D KEEP+ !SE = HALF AN H\R8 ,& PLEASE LEAVE Y\R DOOR UNLOCK$40 

0,?AT'S EXACTLY :AT Y\ SAID !N1 ,SAB9A6 ,& Y\ SAID IT ) ?AT SAME GR94 ,S9CE Y\ REMEMB] IT SO WELL1 TELL ME :Y Y\ CAME ALONE4 ,:Y DIDN'T ,RON COME ) Y\8 ,:AT WAS ,I TO ,RON !N8 ,DO Y\ ALSO REMEMB] :AT /ATE Y\ LEFT ME 98 ,I /OOD BY ! DOOR TREMBL+ DUR+ ! 5TIRE HALF H\R2 ,I FELT AS IF SEV]AL H\RS HAD GONE BY4 ,I WAS SURE Y\'D TELL ME :AT HAPP5$ AS SOON AS Y\ GOT BACK4 ,I WAS SO SURE Y\'D EXPLA9 EV]Y?+ ?AT ,I WASN'T PREP>$ TO /OP Y\ FROM LEAV+ BE=E Y\ TOLD ME ANY?+4 ,BUT Y\ CAME BACK ) ?AT SAME DEMONIC GR9 & ALL Y\ SAID WAS -- NO1 DON'T REM9D ME1 H[ C\LD ,I =GET8 -- ',?ANKS A LOT4' ,?AT'S ALL6 ,Y\ VANI%$ ) ! BIKES BE=E ,I C\LD OP5 MY M\?4 ,I'D NEV] FELT SO HUMILIAT$4 ,I ?\<T Y\ HAD COMPLET$ ! BL[ Y\ HAD BEGUN TO /RIKE AT ME ! NI<T WE W5T TO ! BEA*4 ,! FOLL[+ MORN+ ,I PREF]R$ TO ?9K ,I'D HAD A NI<TM>E40 

,LUISA PO9TS A %AK+ F+] AT ,SAB9A4 0,Y\ HAD ! N]VE TO USE MY H\SE = ?AT !FT80 ,TURN+ TO ME %E ASKS1 0,& Y\ HELP$ H]80 

0,?AT WASN'T :AT BO!R$ ME60 ,I %\T4 0,RON WAS 9 JAIL BE=E ,I LE>N$ :AT HAD HAPP5$4 ,?AT WAS :AT BO!R$ ME4 ,SAB9A1 :Y DIDN'T Y\ TELL ME :AT Y\ & ,RON HAD DONE8 ,:Y DID ,I HAVE TO GO SEE Y\ AFT] ,LUISA TOLD ME !RE WAS A /ORY 9 ! PAP] AB\T '?AT AWFUL ,RON'40 

,SAB9A REM9DS ME1 0,Y\ CAME TO ,ALB]TS' H\SE BE=E ! TRIAL4 ,! /ORY WAS 9 ! PAP] AFT] ! TRIAL40 

0,BUT ,I ALREADY KNEW AB\T ! ROBB]Y :5 ,I W5T TO SEE Y\40 

0,LEM ,ICEL TOLD Y\ AB\T IT10 %E REM9DS ME4 

0,?AT'S RI<T4 ,! POLICE HAD CONTACT$ ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS4 ,%E TOLD ,LEM AB\T IT4 ,AT ! 5D ( A CLASS ,LEM TOLD ME1 ',!Y'VE CAU<T ! LUMP52 HE'LL BE ON TRIAL NEXT WEEK4' ,I LEFT S*OOL & RAN DIRECTLY TO Y\R H\SE40 

0,GEORGE ,ALB]TS' H\SE10 %E CORRECTS4 

0,TO ME IT WAS Y\R H\SE4 ,I WAS FURI\S4 ,I WANT$ TO LET Y\ KN[ H[ MAD ,I WAS AT Y\ = LETT+ ME /& BEH9D MY DOOR TREMBL+1 />+ AT ! TWO BIKES4 ,Y\ SAID ',COME 9' AS NON*ALANTLY AS IF NO?+ HAD HAPP5$4 ,I WAS BOIL+40 

0,WELL1 :AT DID Y\ DO80 ,T9A ASKS ME4 

0,NO?+1 BECAUSE ,I SAW A T9Y %RIEK+ BUNDLE ON ! C\* & ,I =GOT EV]Y?+ ,I HAD 9T5D$ TO %\T4 ,I ASK$ ,SAB9A :OSE IT WAS --0 

0,Y\ ASK$ :AT IT WAS10 ,SAB9A REM9DS ME4 

0,! BUNDLE WAS Y\1 ,T9A1 BR& NEW40 

0,MY6 ,:AT AN EXCIT+ /ORY60 ,T9A SAYS S>CA/ICALLY4 0,HAS IT ALL BE5 BUILD+ UP TO MY GR& 5TRY 9TO ! WORLD80 

0,SORRY TO DISAPPO9T Y\1 ,T9A4 ,AS SOON AS ,I LE>N$ ':AT' Y\ W]E ,I LO/ 9T]E/ 9 Y\4 ,I'VE NEV] BE5 FASC9AT$ BY PEOPLE :O ONLY KN[ H[ TO GOO & PEE40 

0,NEI!R HAVE ,I1 SO Y\ DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE10 ,T9A SAYS4 

0,I REMEMB]$ :Y ,I WAS !RE & SOME ( MY FURY RETURN$4 ,SAB9A CONT9U$ TO ACT AS IF NO?+ HAD HAPP5$4 ,%E /ILL DIDN'T TELL ME --0 

0,TELL Y\ :AT80 ,SAB9A ASKS1 PURPOSELY ACT+ \T ! ROLE %E HAD PLAY$ !N4 

0,?AT'S :AT Y\ SAID6 ',TELL Y\ :AT8' ,( C\RSE ,I KNEW AB\T ! ROBB]Y BY !N4 ,I WANT$ Y\ TO TELL ME :Y Y\'D LET ME /& BEH9D MY DOOR WAIT+ IGNORANTLY4 ,BUT )\T SAY+ A WORD Y\ L$ ME D[N TO Y\R BASEM5T4 ,I WAS /UNN$4 ,IT WAS FULL ( BIKE P>TS1 MOTORS & ALL K9DS ( O!R JUNK2 IT SMELL$ LIKE GREASE & PA9T4 ,I AGA9 =GOT :AT ,I'D COME TO ASK4 ,I ASK$ IF Y\'D /OL5 ALL ?OSE ?+S & Y\ SAID Y\'D /OL5 HALF4 ,:5 ,I ASK$ :AT Y\ DID ) IT ALL1 Y\ SAID Y\ REPAIR$ SOME ?+S1 *ANG$ O!RS & !N SOLD !M4 ,MY ANG] DISAPPE>$4 ,= SOME REASON ,I ?\<T EV]Y?+ WAS CLE>1 BUT NO?+ WAS40 

,LUISA MUTT]S1 0,IS ?IS :AT ,Y>O/AN CONSID]S H]OIC ACTS ( 9DIVIDUAL REBELLION8 ,/EAL+ FROM WORK+ PEOPLE & S*OOL*ILDR5 IS WORSE ?AN SCABB+40 

0,?AT WAS H[ ,I FELT :5 ,I WALK$ HOME FROM ,SAB9A'S AFT] %E %[$ ME H] BASEM5T10 ,I ADMIT4 0,I UND]/OOD ,RON WASN'T :AT ,I HAD ?\<T HE WAS4 ,HE WASN'T A REBEL4 ,HE WAS NO DIFF]5T FROM ANY UNSCRUPUL\S BUS9ESSMAN40 

0,RON & ,I BO? KNEW ?AT WAS H[ Y\ FELT10 ,SAB9A TELLS ME4 

0,IS ?AT :Y Y\ DIDN'T TELL ME ANY?+8 ,W]E Y\ AFRAID ,I'D GIVE ,RON AWAY TO ! POLICE80 ,I ASK4 0,IF ?AT WAS ! EXT5T TO :I* HE TRU/$ ME H[ CAN Y\ TELL ME ,I WAS HIS BE/ FRI5D8 ,:AT DIFF]5CE W\LD IT HAVE MADE IF ,I HAD KN[N8 ,IT WAS HIS [N F+]PR9TS ?AT GAVE HIM AWAY40 

0,RON WASN'T >RE/$ OR CONVICT$ BECAUSE ( ?OSE F+]PR9TS10 ,SAB9A SAYS MY/]I\SLY4 0,! PROSECUTOR HAD NO WAY TO CONNECT ! F+]PR9TS ) ! ROBB]Y40 

0,Y\ MEAN Y\ /OLE ?AT L5S80 ,I ASK ,SAB9A4 

0,WE BO? /OLE IT10 %E SAYS4 0,RON CLIMB$ 9TO ! PR9CIPAL'S (FICE ?R\< ! W9D[4 ,I /AY$ ACROSS ! /REET & KEPT WAT*40 

0,& HE LEFT HIS F+]PR9TS ALL OV] ?AT SLIDE PROJECTOR60 ,I PO9T \T4 

0,IT WAS ! L5S ( A BR& NEW MOVIE PROJECTOR10 ,SAB9A SAYS4 0,! S*OOL HAD B\<T IT MA9LY = ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS' SCI5CE CLASSES40 

0,H[ DID ,RON KN[ ?AT80 ,I ASK4 0,HE WAS NO LONG] 9 S*OOL40 

0,RON HAD SE5 IT :5 IT HAD FIR/ >RIV$10 %E EXPLA9S4 0,%ORTLY BE=E HE QUIT S*OOL HE WAS CALL$ TO ! PR9CIPAL'S (FICE = HAV+ FRI<T5$ A TEA*]4 ,HE WAS KEPT LOCK$ 9 ! (FICE = OV] AN H\R4 ,HE WAS ALONE ) ! PROJECTOR4 ,HE /UDI$ IT & UNSCREW$ ! L5S BUT HE SCREW$ IT RI<T BACK BECAUSE HE KNEW HE'D BE CAU<T IF HE TOOK IT40 

,T9A ASKS H]1 0,BUT :Y DID HE LEAVE HIS F+]PR9TS ON IT ! NI<T HE /OLE IT8 ,DIDN'T HE KN[ --0 

,SAB9A ANSW]S1 0,HE DIDN'T LEAVE !M ?AT NI<T4 ,HE WORE GLOVES :5 HE CLIMB$ 9TO ! PR9CIPAL'S (FICE4 ,HE CAME \T ) ! L5S1 %[$ IT TO ME & ?REW IT 9TO A G>BAGE CAN4 ,IT WAS C>RI$ (F BY ! G>BAGE TRUCK ! FOLL[+ MORN+40 

,T9A ANTICIPATES MY QUE/ION1 0,:AT8 ,HE ?REW IT AWAY8 ,!N :Y DID HE /EAL IT80 

0,BECAUSE ,DEBBIE HAD BE5 FIR$ FROM H] JOB10 ,SAB9A EXPLA9S4 0,RON QUIT S*OOL :5 ?AT HAPP5$4 ,BUT HE WANT$ TO DO MORE4 ,HE TALK$ ( BURN+ ! S*OOL D[N4 ,!N HE REMEMB]$ ! PROJECTOR40 

0,:Y C\LDN'T Y\ HAVE TOLD ME ?AT AT ! TIME80 ,I PLEAD4 

0,BECAUSE WE ?\<T Y\R RESPONSE W\LD BE ID5TICAL TO ,LUISA'S3 ',/EAL+ FROM ! *ILDR5 ( ! WORK+ CLASS4' ,WE DIDN'T NE$ ?AT K9D ( WISDOM4 ,WE WANT$ ! TRIAL TO EXPOSE ! S*OOL (FICIALS :O HAD FIR$ ,DEBBIE AS A SUBV]SIVE4 ,AT ! TRIAL WE W]E GO+ TO %[ !Y HAD >RE/$ ,RON )\T ANY EVID5CE1 M]ELY BECAUSE HE WAS ! SON ( A SUBV]SIVE40 

0,H[ C\LD Y\ HAVE DONE ?AT80 ,I ASK4 0,!Y F\ND HIS F+]PR9TS ALL OV] ! MA*9E40 

0,RON HADN'T EV] BE5 >RE/$ BE=E1 SO !Y DIDN'T KN[ :OSE F+]PR9TS !Y HAD F\ND10 ,SAB9A EXPLA9S4 0,!Y HAD >RE/$ HIM BECAUSE HE WAS ,RON ,MAT!WS1 ! NOTORI\S HOODLUM1 SON ( ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS ! SUBV]SIVE40 

0,BUT ! F+]PR9TS !Y F\ND DID TURN \T TO BE HIS10 ,I 9SI/4 

0,!Y C\LDN'T HAVE BE5 HIS IF HE WORE GLOVES ON ! NI<T ( ! ROBB]Y10 ,T9A PO9TS \T4 

0,DEBBIE HAD GOTT5 ,RON A LAWY]10 ,SAB9A SAYS4 0,RON TOLD ! LAWY] HE HAD BE5 LOCK$ 9TO ! PR9CIPALS'S (FICE ) ! PROJECTOR = AN H\R4 ,! LAWY] *ECK$ 9TO ?AT & F\ND \T IT WAS TRUE4 ,RON TOLD HIM HE'D PLAY$ ) ! PROJECTOR FROM BOR$OM DUR+ ?AT H\R4 ,! LAWY] WASN'T ONLY CONV9C$ ( ,RON'S 9NOC5CE4 ,HE SAID !RE WAS NO WAY !Y C\LD PROVE ,RON /OLE ! L5S4 ,RON WASN'T CONVICT$ BECAUSE ( ?OSE F+]PR9TS BUT BECAUSE ( ?AT ASS HE HAD = A FA!R40 

0,I REMEMB] IT N[60 ,T9A %\TS4 0,JOSE TOLD ME ALL AB\T ?AT TRIAL4 ,RON'S FA!R LI$ LIKE A COP & GOT ! JUDGE TO CONVICT ,RON )\T EV5 LI/5+ TO ! TE/IMONY40  
  

"9 "9 "9 

,SUDD5LY ,I REMEMB] ?AT TRIAL TOO4 ,EV]Y?+ ,I HAD F\ND SO /RANGE AB\T IT AT ! TIME BECOMES CLE>4 

,! /RANGE/ ?+ ( ALL WAS ?AT1 EXCEPT = ! JUDGE & ,TOM ,MAT!WS1 ,I SEEM$ TO BE ! ONLY P]SON 9 ! C\RTROOM :O ?\<T ,RON WAS GUILTY4 

,I W5T TO ! TRIAL ) ,LEM4 ,SAB9A WAS ALREADY 9 ! C\RTROOM1 ALONE4 ,%E SAT 9 ! FRONT R[1 NE> ! B5* :]E ,RON WAS GO+ TO SIT :5 HE WAS BR\<T 94 ,I RECOGNIZ$ ,TOM ,MAT!WS :5 HE CAME 94 ,HE SAT D[N AT ! OPPOSITE 5D ( ! FRONT R[4 ,I ?\<T ( HIS WRECK$ C> & CR+$4 ,HE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME4 ,A WOMAN ,LUISA'S AGE CAME 91 VISIBLY DRUNK4 ,%E HELD ON TO ! Y\NG MAN :O CAME ) H]4 ,LEM NUDG$ ME & :ISP]$ ?AT %E WAS ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS4 ,I TOLD ,LEM ,I WANT$ TO MEET H] & ! J]K 9TRODUC$ ME AS ,SAB9A'S SI/]4 ,DEBBIE MUMBL$ ?AT %E HADN'T KN[N ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS HAD TWO DAU<T]S & %E GL>$ AT ME ) HATR$4 ,I TRI$ TO TELL H] ,I WASN'T EXACTLY ,SAB9A'S SI/] BUT FAIL$ TO COMMUNICATE ANY?+4 ,! Y\NG MAN ) H] SAID1 0,HI1 ,I'M ,JOSE2 ,I'M NOT EXACTLY ,RON'S BRO!R40 ,A MAN ) A BRIEFCASE CAME 9 & :ISP]$ SOME?+ TO ,DEBBIE4 ,!N HE SAT D[N 9 ! C5T] ( ! FRONT R[ & SPREAD \T PAP]S2 HE WAS OBVI\SLY ! LAWY]4 

,AFT] ! JUDGE CAME 9 & ASK$ EV]YONE TO /&1 ,RON WAS BR\<T 91 ESCORT$ BY A POLICEMAN4 ,RON LOOK$ >\ND2 :5 HE SAW ME HE SMIL$4 ,I DIDN'T RETURN HIS SMILE4 ,I WAS MAD AT HIM = NOT TELL+ ME AB\T ! ROBB]Y4 ,HIS SMILE TURN$ TO A FR[N & HE LOOK$ AWAY FROM ME4 ,:5 HE SAW ,JOSE HE GR9N$ & WAV$ HIS FI/1 AS IF TO SAY 0,WE'LL GET !SE BA/>DS40 ,I HE>D ,JOSE :ISP] TO ,DEBBIE1 0,DON'T WORRY1 !Y WON'T GET HIM40 ,I DIDN'T UND]/& ?AT4 ,I KNEW ,RON HAD DONE IT4 ,I ?\<T ! ONLY ?+ 9 QUE/ION WAS ! L5G? ( HIS S5T5CE4  
  

"9 "9 "9 

,LUISA RESPONDS TO ,T9A'S LA/ COMM5T BY %\T+1 0,H[ CAN Y\ HAVE SU* A TWI/$ PICTURE8 ,RON /OLE ?AT MA*9E1 NOT HIS FA!R6 ,?AT HOODLUM GOT EXACTLY :AT HE DES]V$60 

,T9A REM9DS H]1 0,I ?\<T 9 Y\R VIEW NO ONE DES]V$ TO GO TO JAIL40 

0,IF C\NTLESS WORK+M5 >E IMPRISON$ DAILY = /EAL+ FOOD = !IR *ILDR510 ,LUISA RETORTS1 0IT W\LD HAVE BE5 ! GROSSE/ 9JU/ICE IF ?IS BOY HAD BE5 SET FREE AFT] /EAL+ FROM A PUBLIC S*OOL40  
  

"9 "9 "9 

,WAS ?AT :AT ,I ?\<T AT ! TIME8 ,IF SO1 ,I CAN'T BLAME ,RON & ,SAB9A = NOT TELL+ ME ANY?+4 ,I ?\<T ! TRIAL WAS UGLY BUT IT SEEM$ ?AT NO ONE C\LD HAVE EXPECT$ ANO!R \TCOME4 ,! TRIAL SEEM$ LIKE A PURE =MALITY4 ,! PROSECUTOR GAVE A %ORT SPEE*1 >GU+ ?AT ! EVID5CE PROV$ ,RON WAS GUILTY BEYOND ANY %AD[ ( D\BT2 HE SAID ,RON WAS A H>D5$ CRIM9AL ( LONG /&+ & ?AT HIS BEHAVIOR HAD TO BE RE=M$ SO ?AT HE W\LDN'T CONT9UE TO 5DANG] ! LIVES ( HONE/ CITIZ5S & !IR *ILDR54 ,RON'S DEF5SE SEEM$ PETTY TO ME4 ,I CONSID]$ HIS LAWY]'S >GUM5TS SOPHI/IC & IRRELEVANT4 ,:5 ,RON WAS CALL$ TO ! /&1 HIS LAWY] ASK$ :]E ,RON HAD SE5 ! MOVIE PROJECTOR4 ,RON TOLD ! /ORY ( HIS IMPRISONM5T 9 ! PR9CIPAL'S (FICE4 ,HE ADMITT$ PLAY+ ) ! PROJECTOR AT ?AT TIME4 ,! LAWY] ASK$ ,RON IF HE'D SE5 ! PROJECTOR AFT] ?AT & ,RON SAID HE HADN'T4 ,I DIDN'T BLAME ,RON = SAY+ ?AT BUT ,I DIDN'T SEE H[ ANYONE W\LD BELIEVE HIM4 ,! LAWY] !N CALL$ ! POLICE 9VE/IGATOR TO ! /& & ASK$ HIM IF ,RON'S F+]PR9TS HAD BE5 F\ND ANY:]E ELSE 9 ! ROOM4 ,!Y HADN'T4 ,! LAWY] SAT D[N1 EVID5TLY SATISFI$ ) HIMSELF1 ?\< ,I C\LDN'T IMAG9E :Y4 

,! PROSECUTOR CALL$ ,RON TO ! /&4 ,HE ASK$ ,RON IF HE WAS 9 S*OOL4 ,NO4 ,DID HE WORK8 ,NO4 ,?AT WAS ALL HE ASK$ ,RON4 ,HE CALL$ ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS4 ,%E OBVI\SLY WASN'T PREP>$ = ?AT4 0,DO Y\ MEAN ME80 %E ASK$4 ,%E C\LD B>ELY WALK TO ! /&4 ,RON'S LAWY] OBJECT$ BUT ! JUDGE OV]RUL$ HIM4 ,! PROSECUTOR ASK$ ,DEBBIE IF %E WAS ,RON'S MO!R & %E SAID %E WAS4 ,!N HE ASK$ H] TWO MORE QUE/IONS4 ,HAD %E BE5 DISMISS$ FROM ! HI< S*OOL8 ,YES1 %E HAD4 ,W\LD %E DESCRIBE ! REASON = H] DISMISSAL8 ,! LAWY] OBJECT$ & WAS OV]RUL$ AGA94 ,%E DEFIANTLY ANN\NC$ %E HAD BE5 DISMISS$ = 9CIT+ S*OOL*ILDR5 TO OV]?R[ ! GOV]NM5T1 VIOL5TLY4 ,! ?\<T ?AT PASS$ ?R\< MY M9D WAS ?AT ( ALL ! PEOPLE 9 ?AT ROOM ,DEBBIE & ,LEM W]E PROBABLY ! /RONGE/ SUPPORT]S ( GOV]NM5T2 !Y WOR%IP$ ! /ATE2 H[ LUDICR\SLY IRONIC6 ,?AT WAS ALL ! PROSECUTOR WANT$ TO KN[ FROM ,DEBBIE4 ,HE CALL$ ,TOM ,MAT!WS TO ! /&4 ,HE ASK$ IF ,RON LIV$ AT HOME4 ,MAT!WS ANSW]$1 0,NO1 HE DOESN'T2 ,I ASK$ HIM TO LEAVE AB\T A YE> AGO1 Y\R HONOR1 BECAUSE ,I F\ND \T HE WAS /EAL+ & /OR+ HIS /OL5 GOODS 9 ! BASEM5T ( MY H\SE40 ,I HE>D ,JOSE :ISP]1 0,?AT BA/>D60 ,! JUDGE MU/ HAVE HE>D HIM TOO BECAUSE HE TURN$ TO ,JOSE & RAPP$ HIS WOOD5 HAMM] ON HIS TABLE4 ,!N ! JUDGE TOLD ,MAT!WS TO CONT9UE4 0,I %\LD HAVE REPORT$ HIM AT ?AT TIME1 Y\R HONOR1 ESPECIALLY :5 HE BOA/$ HE WAS GO+ TO PUT A /ICK ( DYNAMITE 9 ! WALL ( ! S*OOL40 ,! JUDGE RAPP$ HIS HAMM] AGA94 ,HE ANN\NC$ HE W\LDN'T LI/5 TO ANY MORE EVID5CE2 ! TRIAL WAS OV]4 ,HE GAVE ,RON SIX MON?S 9 RE=M S*OOL & A L>GE F9E4 7,DEBBIE LAT] PAID ! F9E47 ,RON'S LAWY] LOOK$ /UNN$4 ,HE %\T$ ?AT HE OBJECT$4 ,BUT ! JUDGE GOT UP & LEFT ! C\RTROOM4 

,:ILE ,RON WAS BE+ ESCORT$ \T HE LOOK$ HELPLESSLY AT ,JOSE & ,DEBBIE4 ,JOSE'S EYES W]E R$ ) ANG]2 ,DEBBIE WAS AS PALE AS A %EET4 ,TOM ,MAT!WS /ORM$ \T ( ! C\RTROOM AS SOON AS ! JUDGE LEFT2 ,MAT!WS LOOK$ VICTORI\S2 HE'D GOTT5 HIS REV5GE = ! WRECK$ C>4 ,I WASN'T SURPRIS$ BY :AT HE HAD DONE4 ,SAB9A REMA9$ SITT+ 9 H] CORN]1 SOBB+4 ,I HAD NEV] SE5 H] CRY4 ,DEBBIE & ,JOSE DIDN'T BUDGE4 ,!Y />$ AT ! ABS5T JUDGE2 !Y BO? LOOK$ HYPNOTIZ$1 OR AS IF !Y HAD JU/ SE5 SOMEONE RUN OV] BY A TRUCK4 ,LEM & ,I GOT UP & LEFT4 ,NO ONE LOOK$ AT US4 ,I HAD ! /RANGE FEEL+ ?AT SOME?+ HAD HAPP5$ ?AT ,I HADN'T UND]/OOD4 

,! FOLL[+ DAY ,LUISA H&$ ME ! NEWSPAP] & ASK$1 0,ISN'T ?IS ! BOY Y\ BR\<T TO ! H\SE80 ,I ACT$ SURPRIS$4 ,I TRI$ TO GIVE H] ! IMPRESSION ?AT ,I HADN'T ?\<T ,RON CAPABLE ( SU* AN ACT4 ,I DIDN'T TELL H] ! BICYCLES HAD BE5 AT \R H\SE ON ! NI<T ( ! ROBB]Y1 NOR ?AT ,I HAD BE5 TO ! TRIAL4 ,I TOLD H] ,I HAD BE5 WRONG AB\T ,RON4 

,& ?AT WAS EXACTLY :AT ,I FELT4 ,WRONG1 WRONG$ & *EAT$4 ,! ,RON ,I HAD ONCE LOOK$ =1 F\ND & LOV$ WASN'T ! ,RON ,I HAD JU/ SE5 9 ! C\RTROOM4 ,I HAD LOOK$ = ! ,RON DESCRIB$ 9 Y\R LETT]3 ! 9SURG5T1 ! REBEL :O REJECTS ALL SOCIAL 9/ITUTIONS ?R\< HIS ACTS4 ,I HAD F\ND SU* A P]SON2 MY PICTURE ( HIM WASN'T DE/ROY$ :5 ,I LE>N$ HE /OLE BIKES1 S9CE HE DIDN'T /EAL !M FROM BOYS :O C\LDN'T AF=D TO BUY *A9S4 ,BUT ! ,RON ,I SAW AT ! TRIAL WAS NO 9SURG5T4 ,HE DIDN'T /EAL FROM ! RI* BUT FROM HIS 0LIKES40 ,HE WAS A GANG/] :O /OLE = MONEY4 ,! ONLY ?+ HE HAD 9 COMMON ) A G5U9E 9SURG5T WAS ?AT HE WAS GO+ TO BECOME A P]MAN5T FUGITIVE FROM ! POLICE1 HE WAS GO+ TO LIVE HIS LIFE 9 AN 5VIRONM5T CONSI/+ ( PRISONS & C\RTROOMS4 ,BUT UNLIKE AN 9SURG5T1 HIS ACTIVITY WAS GO+ TO REMA9 IRRELEVANT TO ! /RUGGLE AGA9/ ! 9/ITUTIONS ( :I* PRISONS & C\RTROOMS W]E M]E SYMPTOMS4 ,I WAS RELIEV$ ?AT ,I WASN'T ,SAB9A1 SITT+ & SOBB+ 9 ?AT C\RTROOM4 ,I WAS RELIEV$ ?AT 9 SIX OR SEV5 MON?S ,I WAS GO+ TO LEAVE ! HI< S*OOL1 ! NEI<BORHOOD & ,LUISA1 RELIEV$ ?AT ,I WAS GO+ TO MOVE TO A NEW 5VIRONM5T :]E ,I W\LD F9D NEW PROBLEMS1 P]HAPS NEW FRI5DS1 POSSIBLY EV5 WOR?:ILE PROJECTS1 PROJECTS :I* W\LD 9 SOME MEAN+FUL WAY BE ! PROJECTS ( AN 9SURG5T4 

,I SAW ,RON = ! V]Y LA/ TIME JU/ BE=E ! S*OOL YE> 5D$4 ,SAB9A AGA9 ?REW PEBBLES AT MY W9D[ AT NI<T4 ,BO? %E & ,RON W]E \TSIDE4 ,!Y REFUS$ TO COME 94 ,I GOT DRESS$ & W5T \T4 ,9 SPITE ( EV]Y?+ ,I HAD FELT1 9 SPITE ( ALL MY P5T UP ANG]1 ,I WAS OV]JOY$ TO SEE !M4 ,I ?REW MY >MS >\ND ,SAB9A & CRI$4 ,IT WAS ! FIR/ TIME ,I HAD LET ,SAB9A KN[ ,I DIDN'T HATE H]4 ,%E MU/ HAVE BE5 AS SURPRIS$ AS ,I WAS4 ,I GAVE ,RON MY H&4 ,HE PULL$ ME TO HIM & KISS$ ME4 ,FI<T+ TE>S & TRY+ TO SMILE ,I SAID1 0,DIDN'T ,I TELL Y\ ,I'D COME \T TO MEET Y\ ANY TIME ( DAY OR NI<T80 0,LADY1 W\LD Y\ REPEAT ?AT80 HE ASK$4 0,ONLY IF Y\ SAY MY NAME CORRECTLY10 ,I SOBB$4 0,SOPHIE ,NA*ALO10 HE SAID1 & KISS$ ME AGA94 ,SUDD5LY HE ASK$1 0,DOES ?AT MEAN Y\ TRU/ ME80 ,I REMEMB]$ H[ ANGRY ,I HAD BE5 BECAUSE HE HADN'T TRU/$ ME4 ,I DIDN'T ANSW]4 ,HE BECAME /IFF & LET ME GO4 ,WE />T$ WALK+4 

,SAB9A BROKE ! SIL5CE4 0,RON WANT$ TO TELL Y\ AB\T ! PEOPLE HE MET 9 RE=M S*OOL40 

,I SAID1 0,REALLY80 ) FEIGN$ 9DIFF]5CE4 ,I IMM$IATELY REGRETT$ SAY+ IT4 ,I W\LD HAVE LOV$ TO LI/5 TO ,RON'S OBS]VATIONS AB\T RE=M S*OOL2 ,I HAD ALWAYS LOV$ TO LI/5 TO HIS OBS]VATIONS4 ,?AT 0,REALLY80 DEPRIV$ ME ( MY LA/ *ANCE TO HE> !M4 ,RON HAD HE>D EV]Y NUANCE ( MEAN+ ,I HAD PUT 9TO ?AT S+LE WORD4 ,) UNDISGUIS$ HO/ILITY -- ) A TONE 9 :I* HE MI<T AS WELL HAVE SAID1 ,SO Y\'VE JO9$ ! POLICE6 -- HE SAID1 0,I HE> Y\'RE GO+ TO COLLEGE40 ,?AT WAS ! LA/ ?+ HE SAID TO ME4 ,HE DIDN'T WANT AN ANSW] OR AN EXPLANATION4 ,HE SEEM$ TO BECOME DEAF & DUMB4 

,WE WALK$ ON 9 SIL5CE4 ,EV]Y?+ HAD BE5 SAID4 ,BUT ,SAB9A BECAME IMPATI5T4 0,GO AHEAD & TELL H]60' %E 9SI/$1 BUT ,RON %OOK HIS HEAD4 ,HE DIDN'T 9T5D TO SAY ANO!R WORD ?AT NI<T1 ANY MORE ?AN ,I HAD 9T5D$ TO ACCEPT A RIDE ON ! B> ( HIS BICYCLE ON ! NI<T ( ! C> WRECK4 ,SAB9A DID ALL ! TALK+4 ,%E TOLD ME HE HAD MET TE5AGE SCI5TI/S1 5G9E]S1 >TI/S & ACROBATS4 0,! BE/ M9DS ( \R TIME >E 9 ?AT RE=M S*OOL40 ,ONE M9D HAD ESPECIALLY IMPRESS$ ,RON3 A BOY CALL$ ,T$4 ,SAB9A1 TRY+ UNSUCCESSFULLY TO IMITATE ,RON1 DESCRIB$ ,T$ AS A G5IUS :O C\LD PICK ! LOCK ( ANY BR& NEW C> & GET ! C> />T$ 9 LESS ?AN A M9UTE2 ! GUY HE WORK$ ) DROVE ! C> 9TO HIS G>AGE :]E HE & ,T$ DISMANTL$ IT 9TO P>TS2 ,T$ WAS CAU<T ONLY BECAUSE HE HAD /OL5 A SPORTS C> & DRIV5 HIS GIRL FRI5D >\ND ! CITY ) IT 9 BROAD DAYLI<T -- HIS GIRL FRI5D WAS ONLY T5 & ,T$ DIDN'T LOOK MU* OLD]4 

,AS SOON AS ,SAB9A BEGAN1 ,I WAS SORRY %E WAS TELL+ ME !SE ?+S 9/EAD ( ,RON4 ,H[ BADLY ,I WANT$ TO HE> ! /ORY 9 ,RON'S [N WORDS1 ) HIS *>ACT]I/IC COMM5TS & DIGRESSIONS4 ,SAB9A'S ]UDITE1 P]FECTLY GRAMMATICAL N>RATIVE S\ND$ SO >TIFICIAL2 %E TOOK ALL ( ,RON'S SPIRIT \T ( HIS EXP]I5CES4 ,I FELT MIS]ABLE = HAV+ RU9$ MY *ANCE TO HE> AB\T !SE EXP]I5CES AT FIR/ H&1 BUT ,I RES5T$ HAV+ TO HE> A SECOND H& ACC\NT4 ,:5EV] ,SAB9A PAUS$ ,I CUT H] & ,RON ) ?AT SAME WORD3 0,REALLY80 ,MY TONE COMMUNICAT$ TO ,RON IMM$IATELY2 ,I C\LDN'T HAVE BE5 MORE EXPLICIT IF ,I'D TOLD !M ,I RES5T$ BE+ WOK5 SO LATE AT NI<T M]ELY TO BE TOLD SU* BOR+ TRIVIALITIES4 ,RON TOLD ,SAB9A1 0,OH %IT1 LET'S GO HOME40 

,!Y WALK$ ME HOME4 ,NO ONE SAID A WORD4 ,I WANT$ TO ASK ,RON TO TELL ME AGA9 :AT ,SAB9A HAD JU/ TOLD ME4 ,BUT ! GAP BETWE5 US HAD GR[N TOO L>GE4 ,RON & ,I BO? KNEW IT4 ,ONLY HALF ( ME WANT$ TO HE> ,RON DESCRIBE 0! GREATE/ M9DS ( ! AGE40 ,! O!R HALF SAW A ,RON :O HAD GRADUAT$ FROM BICYCLES & WAS MOV+ ON TO C>S1 A ,RON :O WAS AB\T TO BECOME A PR(ESSIONAL CRIM9AL4 ,I SAW A P]SON :O WAS 9 NO S5SE A REBEL1 A P]SON :O DIDN'T FEEL COMRADE%IP & SOLID>ITY ) HIS FELL[ BE+S1 A P]SON TO :OM O!RS >E M]E OBJECTS TO BE US$ ! WAY HE'D US$ ME ON ! NI<T ( ! S*OOL !FT4 ,?AT NI<T ,RON KNEW AS WELL AS ,I DID ?AT ONLY HALF ( ME WANT$ TO HE> AB\T HIS NEWE/ ADV5TURE1 TO %>E HIS OBS]VATIONS1 TO LAU< ) HIM & TO EXPLORE POSSIBLE PROJECTS ) HIS NEW FRI5DS4 ,HE RECOGNIZ$ ! O!R HALF AS ! DOM9ANT HALF1 ! REAL ,SOPHIA4 ,?AT HALF WAS A /RANG] TO HIM1 A HO/ILE /RANG]1 AN \TSID]4 ,RON'S 0,I HE> Y\'RE GO+ TO COLLEGE0 WAS EQUIVAL5T TO1 0,OH %IT1 :5 ! HELL DID ,I HAVE ANY?+ TO DO ) ANYONE LIKE Y\80 ,I WAS AN ALI5 TO HIS WORLD1 HIS FRI5DS & HIS PROJECTS4 ,TELL+ ME AB\T HIS NEWE/ EXP]I5CES WAS A MI/AKE4 0,OH %IT1 LET'S GO HOME0 MEANT1 0,OH %IT1 LET'S NOT WA/E TIME TALK+ TO ?IS TEA*]2 LET'S GET \T ( H]E2 ?IS IS LIKE TELL+ A COP :AT WE 9T5D TO /EAL NEXT40  
  

"9 "9 "9 

,I ASK ,SAB9A1 0,C\LDN'T Y\ AT LEA/ HAVE TOLD ME ,RON HAD ONLY /OL5 ?AT L5S BECAUSE ( :AT !Y HAD DONE TO ,DEBBIE80 

0,IT WASN'T UP TO ME TO TELL Y\ ANY?+10 ,SAB9A ANSW]S4 0,RON WAS DY+ TO TELL Y\4 ,BUT Y\ DIDN'T ONCE VISIT HIM 9 JAIL BE=E ! TRIAL & Y\ DIDN'T ONCE GO SEE HIM 9 RE=M S*OOL4 ,I KNEW HE'D WANT Y\ TO JO9 US :5 HE CAME \T ( RE=M S*OOL BUT ,I ALSO KNEW ALL Y\'D SAY W\LD BE1 ',REALLY8' ,Y\ W]E SP5D+ Y\R TIME ) ?AT NITWIT ,LEM ,ICEL4 ,IT WAS CLE> TO EV]YONE BUT ,RON ?AT Y\ HAD MADE Y\R *OICE4 ,Y>O/AN'S LETT] DESCRIBES ?AT *OICE P]FECTLY4 ,Y\ HAD ALREADY *OS5 TO JO9 ! MORALI/S1 ! PRIE/S1 ! JUDGES4 ,HE WAS AN IDIOT NOT TO SEE ?AT4 ,BY ! TIME ( ! TRIAL Y\ W]E AS REPELL$ BY HIM AS ,LUISA WAS4 ,IF WE'D TOLD Y\ WE 9T5D$ TO W9 ! TRIAL & HAVE ,RON EM]GE 9NOC5T1 IF WE'D TOLD Y\ WE 9T5D$ TO EXPOSE ! P]SECUTION ( ,DEBBIE1 :AT W\LD Y\ HAVE DONE8 ,I EXPECT$ Y\ TO />T %\T+ AB\T ! 9JU/ICE & IMMORALITY ( CAUS+ A POOR WORK+ MAN TO BE P]SECUT$ = A CRIME ,RON HAD COMMITT$40  
  

"9 "9 "9 

,SAB9A IS PROBABLY RI<T4 ,BY ! TIME ( ,RON'S TRIAL ,I HAD ALREADY MADE MY *OICE4 ,BUT ,I DON'T ?9K EI!R Y\ OR ,SAB9A >E RI<T AB\T ! NATURE ( ?AT *OICE4 ,I DON'T ?9K ,I *OSE BETWE5 ,RON & :AT Y\ CALL 0P$AGOGY40 

,I C]TA9LY DIDN'T *OOSE 0P$AGOGY0 9 ! CONV5TIONAL MEAN+ ( ?AT T]M4 ,?AT K9D ( P$AGOGY DIDN'T APPEAL TO ME AT ALL4 ,! PEOPLE ,I ADMIR$ -- Y\1 ,LUISA1 ,NA*ALO1 ,SAB9A1 ,RON -- HAD NEV] EV5 F9I%$ HI< S*OOL4 ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS WAS ! ONLY P$AGOGUE ,I HAD EV] BE5 CLOSE TO & ,I C\LDN'T /& HIM4 ,MAYBE ,LUISA WAS A TYPE ( P$AGOGUE TOO4 ,I UND]/& :AT Y\ MEAN 9 Y\R LETT]4 ,BUT ,I CAN'T APPLY IT TO MY [N LIFE4 ,DUR+ MY LA/ YE> 9 HI< S*OOL ,I DIDN'T SEE ,LUISA ! WAY Y\ DESCRIBE H]4 ,NOR DID ,I *OOSE BETWE5 ,RON & ,LUISA4 ,IF ,I REJECT$ ,RON AT ?AT TIME ,I REJECT$ ,LUISA AS WELL4 ,I REJECT$ ! PROSPECT ( SP5D+ MY DAYS 9 A FACTORY DREAM+ ( ! DAY :5 ! G5]AL /RIKE W\LD PUT AN 5D TO WAGE LABOR4 ,IT WAS PRECISELY ! EXP]I5CES & HOPES ,I HAD LE>N$ FROM ,LUISA ?AT MADE ME P]MAN5TLY UNABLE TO ACCEPT ! BOR$OM1 ! S*$UL$ R\T9E1 ! SUP]VISION & ! SUBMISSION4 

,I REJECT$ BO? ,RON & ,LUISA BUT ,I DIDN'T AFFIRM (FICIAL 0P$AGOGY40 ,I DIDN'T *ALL5GE ,RON'S OBS]VATION ?AT ! GREATE/ SCI5TI/S1 5G9E]S & >TI/S W]E 9 RE=M S*OOL4 ,I KNEW ALREADY !N ?AT GREAT LIT]ATURE WASN'T CREAT$ BY TEXTBOOK WRIT]S OR EXP]TS 9 CREATIVE WRIT+1 ?AT GREAT DISCOV]IES W]5'T MADE BY ! BUREAUCRATS CALL$ RESE>*]S1 ?AT REVOLUTIONS W]5'T C>RI$ \T BY ACADEMICS :O DREAM$ ( GOV]N+ SOCIETY ! WAY !Y GOV]N$ !IR CLASSES4 ,RON1 ! HI< S*OOL DUNCE1 WAS MORE P]CEPTIVE & RES\RCEFUL ?AN ,I WAS EV] GO+ TO BECOME4 ,& 9 T]MS ( %E] 9=MATION1 ,SAB9A ALREADY !N KNEW MORE ?AN ,I WAS GO+ TO LE>N DUR+ ALL MY YE>S 9 COLLEGE EV5 ?\< %E HADN'T EV] F9I%$ ELEM5T>Y S*OOL4 ,%E HAD PUMP$ \T ( ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS EV]Y SCRAP ( PHYSICS1 *EMI/RY & BIOLOGY HE HAD EV] LE>N$4 ,%E & ,ALB]TS HAD CONV]T$ ! 5TIRE SECOND /ORY ( !IR H\SE 9TO A LABORATORY & A LIBR>Y4 ,& !N ,SAB9A AB&ON$ ALL ?AT & JO9$ 0! GREATE/ M9DS ( ! AGE10 M9DS CAPABLE ( DRIV+ (F ) A BR& NEW C> 9 LESS ?AN A M9UTE 9 BROAD DAYLI<T ON A CR[D$ /REET4 ,%E SP5T SEV]AL YE>S LIV+ 9 AN UND]WORLD ?AT Y\ SEEM TO GLORIFY AB/RACTLY4 ,Y\ *>ACT]IZE AS 09DIVIDUAL ACTS ( REBELLION0 :AT TO ME LOOK$ LIKE !FT1 CON/ANT FLEE+ & PRO/ITUTION4 ,MAYBE ,I'VE ALWAYS BE5 AS N>R[ AS ,LUISA AB\T ?IS POSSIBILITY4 ,SAB9A (F]$ ME ?IS ALT]NATIVE TWO YE>S AFT] ,RON DI$ & ,I REJECT$ IT = ! SECOND TIME4 ,MAYBE ,I NEV] REALLY UND]/OOD ?AT ALT]NATIVE4 ,ALL ,I DO KN[ IS ?AT AT SOME PO9T ,SAB9A REJECT$ IT AS WELL4 ,MAYBE ,I'M NOT AS SELF-ASSUR$ AB\T MY *OICE AS ,I WAS !N1 BUT NEI!R Y\ NOR ,SAB9A HAVE CONV9C$ ME ?AT ! *OICE ,I MADE WAS WRONG4 

,:AT ,I LOOK$ = WASN'T RELAT$ TO ! (FICIAL PURPOSE ( ! UNIV]SITY1 AL?\< ,I ADMIT ,I DID HAVE SOME VAGUE HOPES ?AT BY /UDY+ HI/ORY & SOCIOLOGY ,I'D AT LEA/ CL>IFY MY [N & ,LUISA'S PA/ EXP]I5CES4 ,! FIR/ FEW MON?S ( CLASSES KNOCK$ ?OSE HOPES \T ( ME4 ,AB\T ?IS1 AT LEA/1 ,I DON'T DISAGREE ) Y\4 ,/ATE FUNCTION>IES DO SEE ! WORLD FROM !IR (FICES4 ,ALL !IR TEXTBOOKS & ALL !IR LECTURES CELEBRAT$ ! EXI/+ SOCIAL ORD]2 ! APP>ATUS !Y CALL$ 0KN[L$GE0 SEEM$ TO HAVE BE5 CREAT$ EXPRESSLY = ! PURPOSE ( MAK+ ! OV]?R[ ( ! SOCIAL ORD] APPE> 9CONCEIVABLE4 ,EV]Y?+ ,I VALU$ WAS CONSID]$ DANG]\S & VIOL5T4 ,I 5T]$ ! UNIV]SITY AT A TIME :5 ! NORMAL B>RACKS-LIKE LIFE ( ?IS M$IEVAL MONA/IC 9/ITUTION WAS SUPPLEM5T$ BY MOD]N =MS ( MILIT>IZATION4 ,NUM]\S PR(ESSORS W]E DIRECTLY 9 ! PAY ( ! >M$ =CES4 ,:OLE BRAN*ES ( ACTIVITY ?AT HAD ONCE BE5 S*OL>LY PURSUITS W]E TRANS=M$ 9TO WEAPONS-DEVELOPM5T FACTORIES3 PHYSICS1 *EMI/RY1 BIOLOGY1 AN?ROPOLOGY1 SOCIOLOGY & PSY*OLOGY4 ,9/EAD ( BE+ TAU<T TO =MULATE QUE/IONS1 /UD5TS W]E BE+ BOMB>D$ ) ANSW]S4 ,OP5 APOLOGI/S = CAPITAL & = ! /ATE TREAT$ !IR CLASSROOMS AS PULPITS FROM :I* TO GIVE S]MONS EULOGIZ+ ! (FICIAL RELIGION4 ,/UD5TS W]E BRA9WA%$ 9TO BELIEV+ ! /ATE'S 5EMIES W]E !IR [N 5EMIES4 ,CRITICS ( EV]Y %ADE1 EV5 /ATE WOR%IP]S ( A DIFF]5T BR&1 W]E SY/EMATICALLY PREV5T$ FROM SPEAK+4 ,MALE /UD5TS W]E ACTUALLY RECRUIT$ DIRECTLY 9TO ! >M$ =CES :5 !Y 5ROLL$ 9 ! UNIV]SITY2 MILIT>Y TRA9+ BECAME ANO!R ACADEMIC DISCIPL9E4 ,SEV]AL PR(ESSORS W]E FIR$ = REFUS+ TO SWE> TO S]VE ! /ATE UNCONDITIONALLY2 ALL ! PR(ESSORS :O REMA9$ SIGN$ ! OA?2 !Y SWORE TO LIE SY/EMATICALLY1 TO DI/ORT & FALSIFY :ATEV] ?REAT5$ ! 9T]E/S ( ! /ATE4 ,NO1 ,I DIDN'T GO TO ! UNIV]SITY BECAUSE ( ANY?+ IT HAD TO (F]4 ,I W5T !RE BECAUSE ,I REJECT$ ,RON'S WORLD & ,LUISA'S WORLD1 NOT BECAUSE ,I SAW A COMMUNITY 9 ! MILIT>Y 5CLAVE ?AT EXI/S ONLY TO DE/ROY COMMUNITY4 ,I W5T !RE BECAUSE ,I HOP$ TO F9D O!RS LIKE ME1 O!RS :O HAD REJECT$ :AT ,I HAD REJECT$4 ,! COMMUNITY ,I WANT$ TO F9D WAS A COMMUNITY ( PEOPLE :OSE *OICES W]E SIMIL> TO M9E4 ,I LOOK$ = PEOPLE ) :OM TO %APE MEAN+FUL RESPONSES TO ! WORLD WE REJECT$1 RESPONSES :I* W5T BEYOND %E] OPPORTUNISM = ! SAKE ( SURVIVAL4 

,I MADE ! MI/AKE ( MOV+ 9TO A DORMITORY1 ,I /AY$ !RE = ?REE MON?S4 ,IT WAS ! CLOSE/ ?+ TO PROLONG$ IMPRISONM5T ?AT ,I'VE EXP]I5C$4 ,I DID LE>N TO PLAY PRANKS1 BUT EV5 !N ,I C\LDN'T 5DURE ?AT REGIME ( RULES & REGULATIONS TO :I* ,I HAD NEV] 9 MY :OLE LIFE BE5 SUBJECT$4 ,I C\LDN'T AF=D TO R5T AN AP>TM5T ( MY [N4 ,!N ,I F\ND SOME WOM5 /UD5TS :O [N$ A H\SE & RAN IT ON A COOP]ATIVE BASIS2 ?OSE :O C\LD AF=D TO PAY LESS DID MORE ( ! H\SEWORK4 ,I WA%$ DI%ES & GOT FREE ROOM & BO>D4 

,MY FIR/ FRI5D WAS MY ROOMMATE AT ! CO-OP1 ,RHEA ,MORPH54 ,I LIK$ H] V]Y MU* AT FIR/1 MA9LY BECAUSE ( H[ 5?USIA/IC %E WAS AB\T ME4 ,I SUPPOSE Y\ ALWAYS LIKE PEOPLE :O ?9K A LOT ( Y\4 ,%E MADE ME TELL ! /ORY ( MY LIFE AT LEA/ A DOZ5 TIMES DUR+ MY FIR/ FEW WEEKS AT ! CO-OP4 ,! FACT ?AT MY 0MO!R0 WORK$ 9 AN AUTO PLANT & SUPPORT$ ME ALREADY RECOMM5D$ ME TO ,RHEA4 ,%E WAS EV5 MORE IMPRESS$ BY ! FACT ?AT MY 0MO!R0 HAD NEV] F9I%$ HI< S*OOL1 ?AT MY 0SI/]0 HADN'T F9I%$ ELEM5T>Y S*OOL & ?AT MY 0FA!R0 HADN'T EV] SP5T A S+LE DAY 9 S*OOL4 ,RHEA'S P]PETUAL COMM5T WAS1 0,I DON'T BELIEVE IT60 ,BUT AFT] A FEW WEEKS ( BE+ ADMIR$ AS SU* A P]FECT PROLET>IAN ,I GOT SICK ( H] ADMIRATION & :5 ,I LE>N$ MORE AB\T H] ,I RES5T$ IT4 ,IT TURN$ \T ?AT %E WAS A MEMB] ( ! SAME POLITICAL *UR* AS ,LEM ,ICEL1 ?AT %E & ,LEM W]E FRI5DS1 & ?AT ,LEM WAS RESPONSIBLE = ! FACT ?AT ,RHEA & ,I W]E ROOMMATES4 

,RHEA P]FECTLY FITS Y\R PORTRAIT ( ! POLITICIAN4 ,H] WORLD WAS POPULAT$ BY CON/ITU5TS & LEAD]S4 ,9 H] EYES ,I WAS A P]FECT CON/ITU5T1 A POT5TIAL CADRE1 A POT5TIAL RANK-&-FILE LEAD]1 A FULL-FL$G$ PROLET>IAN 9TELLIG5T 5\< TO UND]/& ! DIALECTIC & TO KN[ H[ TO 9T]PRET IT TO MY FELL[ RANK-&-FIL]S4 ,H] FA!R WAS A LAWY] :O WAS LAT] TO BECOME A CITY POLITICIAN4 

,! P>T ( MY PA/ ,I HAD FAIL$ TO RID MYSELF ( WAS ,LEM4 ,HE WAS 9 ONE ( MY CLASSES4 ,IT WAS FROM HIM ?AT ,I LE>N$ AB\T ! CO-OP :5 ,I WANT$ TO LEAVE ! DORMITORY4 ,IT WAS ALSO L>GELY BECAUSE ( ,LEM ?AT ,I MET ! PEOPLE :O W]E TO BE MY FRI5DS ?R\<\T MY UNIV]SITY YE>S4 ,LEM & ,RHEA MORE OR LESS CONSPIR$ TO RECRUIT ME TO !IR ORGANIZATION4 ,IT TOOK ME SEV]AL WEEKS TO FIGURE \T ?AT ,I WAS A FLY 9 A SPID]'S WEB4 ,I GOT MY FIR/ CLUE :51 DUR+ ONE ( ,RHEA'S ADMIRATION SESSIONS1 %E COMM5T$1 0,Y\ REALLY HAVE A HI<LY DEVELOP$ CONSCI\SNESS2 Y\ SEE A LOT ( ?+S ! WAY WE DO10 IMPLY+ ?AT !RE W]E A FEW ?+S AB\T :I* ,I /ILL HAD TO BE /RAI<T5$ \T4 ,I IMM$IATELY ASK$ H] IF %E HAPP5$ TO KN[ ,LEM ,ICEL4 ,! MOM5T ( SIL5CE BE=E %E ANSW]$ GAVE H] GAME AWAY4 ,:5 AT LA/ %E SAID1 0,YES1 HE'S A GOOD FRI5D ( \RS10 ,I KNEW %E HAD KN[N AB\T ME BE=E ,I HAD MOV$ TO ! CO-OP4 ,%E ADMITT$ %E HAD LACK$ A ROOMMATE & ,I HAD S\ND$ IDEAL2 %E ASK$ IF ,I M9D$4 ,I REALLY DIDN'T M9D4 ,I HAD HAT$ ! DORMITORY & ,I WAS GLAD TO F9D NEW FRI5DS4 ,RHEA'S FRI5D ,ALEC ,UROS VISIT$ H] EV]Y O!R DAY & %E 9V>IABLY RECIT$ MY PROLET>IAN VIRTUES TO HIM4 ,ALEC WAS AT LEA/ AS IMPRESS$ AS ,RHEA4 ,HE WAS ANO!R P]SON TO :OM ! DAU<T] ( A WORK] WAS AS EXOTIC AS A ,M>TIAN4 

,ULTIMATELY !IR CONSPIRACY BACKFIR$4 ,BECAUSE ( ME !IR LITTLE UNIV]SITY GR\P FELL AP>T4 ,IT W\LD PROBABLY HAVE FALL5 AP>T ANYWAY1 BUT NOT ! WAY IT ACTUALLY HAPP5$4 

,RHEA WAS ! 0OP50 MEMB] ( ! ORGANIZATION4 ,%E ATT5D$ ALL SORTS ( EV5TS & MEET+S :]E %E ANN\NC$ H] ORGANIZATION'S POSITION ON ! TOPICS UND] DISCUSSION4 ,ALEC & ,LEM W]E 0SECRET0 MEMB]S4 ,ALL ?REE ATT5D$ ORGANIZATION MEET+S1 :I* W]E FREQU5TLY HELD AT ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS' H\SE1 BUT :5 ,ALEC & ,LEM W]E ASK$ IF !Y W]E MEMB]S !Y D5I$ IT4 ,ALL ?REE PRESSUR$ ME TO ATT5D AT LEA/ ONE ( !IR MEET+S M]ELY 9 ORD] TO SEE :AT 0WOND]FUL PEOPLE0 !Y ALL W]E1 BUT ,I 9V>IABLY TURN$ D[N ! 9VITATION1 PASS+ UP MY *ANCE TO MEET ALL ?OSE WOND]FUL PEOPLE4 

,:5 HE CAME TO VISIT ,RHEA1 ,ALEC W\LD TELL US AB\T HIS PROJECTS ON ! S*OOL NEWSPAP] /AFF4 ,! MORE HE TALK$ AB\T ?AT1 ! MORE 9T]E/$ ,I BECAME4 ,HE TALK$ AB\T PR(ESSORS :O W]E BE+ FIR$ = REFUS+ TO SIGN ! OA? ( LOYALTY TO ! /ATE1 AB\T /UD5TS :O REFUS$ TO TAKE P>T 9 ! MILIT>Y TRA9+ PROGRAM1 AB\T ! LATE/ SPEAK] :O HAD BE5 BANN$ FROM SPEAK+ ON CAMPUS4 ,HE SAW HIS ROLE ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF AS ?AT ( A MUCKRAK] :O EXPOS$ !SE 9FR+EM5TS ON ! /UD5TS' RI<T ( SPEE* & ( ASSEMBLY4 ,HE DIDN'T SEE ANY CONTRADICTION BETWE5 HIS NEWSPAP] CAMPAIGNS & HIS ORGANIZATION'S D5IAL ( ALL SU* RI<TS4 ,ALEC'S NAIVETE RECRUIT$ ME1 NOT TO HIS ORGANIZATION1 BUT TO HIS CAMPAIGNS4 ,?IS WAS A PROJECT ,I RECOGNIZ$2 ,I WANT$ TO TAKE P>T 9 IT4 ,I JO9$ ! NEWSPAP] /AFF4 ,SO DID ,LEM4 

,Y>O/AN1 Y\R LETT]S 9HIBIT ME4 ,NO1 ,I'M NO LONG] ANGRY4 ,I'M FRU/RAT$4 ,= TW5TY YE>S ,I LONG$ TO TELL Y\ AB\T MYSELF1 IF NOT 9 LETT]S !N 9 A NOVEL :I* WAS ADDRESS$ TO Y\ EV5 IF IT NEV] REA*$ Y\4 ,I WANT$ TO TELL Y\ AB\T MY LIFE BECAUSE ,I ?\<T ,I'D LIV$ UP TO :AT Y\ MI<T HAVE WANT$ ME TO BE4 ,I LOOK$ AT MYSELF ?R\< :AT ,I TOOK TO BE Y\R EYES & ,I WASN'T A%AM$4 ,I WAS 9 FACT SOME:AT PR\D ( MYSELF4 ,NOT ALTOGE!R4 ,I HADN'T TAK5 P>T 9 ! OV]?R[ ( ! RUL+ SY/EM4 ,BUT ,I HADN'T SUCCUMB$ TO IT EI!R4 ,I HADN'T EM]G$ UNSCA!D BUT ,I WASN'T DE/ROY$ EI!R4 ,UNLIKE ,LUISA1 ,I HADN'T SOLD MY PRODUCTIVE 5]GY4 ,UNLIKE ,SAB9A1 ,I HADN'T SOLD EI!R MY BODY OR MY S\L4 ,UNTIL Y\R LETT]S *ALL5G$ MY SELF-EVALUATION ,I'D ?\<T ,I HAD DONE RA!R WELL4 ,MY ACTIVITY ON ?AT UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] /AFF WAS ONE ( ! HI< PO9TS ( MY /ORY4 ,I SAW IT AS A CONT9UATION ( ACTIVITY ,I HAD ONCE %>$ ) Y\4 ,YET N[ ?AT ,I CAN F9ALLY TELL Y\ AB\T MY LITTLE VICTORIES ,I FEEL EMB>RASS$ & 9HIBIT$4 ,I CAN'T HELP SEE+ MYSELF ?R\< ! L5SES Y\'RE N[ WE>+ & ,I LOOK LUDICR\S TO MYSELF4 ,! V]Y WORDS ) :I* ,I W\LD HAVE BOA/$ AB\T MY ACTIVITY >E ! WORDS ) :I* Y\ RIDICULE IT4 ,IF MY DESIRE TO COMMUNICATE & DEF5D MY 9SI<TS & PA/ EXP]I5CES WAS P$AGOGY1 !N IT WAS PRECISELY ! OPPORTUNITY TO 5GAGE 9 ?IS P$AGOGY ?AT ATTRACT$ ME TO ! NEWSPAP] /AFF4 ,I ?9K Y\ GO TOO F> :5 Y\ *>ACT]IZE EV]Y 9/ANCE ( SU* ACTIVITY AS AN ATTEMPT TO CONV]T PEOPLE TO A RELIGION4 ,I UND]/& ! WAY Y\R ANALYSIS APPLIES TO ,LEM1 ,RHEA & ,ALEC2 ,I RECOGNIZ$ !M AS MISSION>IES ( A REPRESSIVE RELIGION4 ,I CAN EV5 SEE H[ Y\R ANALYSIS APPLIES TO C]TA9 ASPECTS ( ,LUISA'S RELATION TO ! WORLD4 ,BUT ,I DON'T SEE H[ Y\R ANALYSIS APPLIES TO ME4 ,TO COMMUNICATE A RELIGION Y\ NE$ TO HAVE C]TA9TIES & ,I NEV] HAD ANY4 ,AT MO/ ,I HAD PA/ FRI5DS & EXP]I5CES1 BUT ! ANSW]S ?OSE FRI5DS & EXP]I5CES GAVE ME 9 ANY GIV5 CONTEXT W]E NEV] CLE>4 ,EV5 IF ,I GRANT$ ?AT Y\R DESCRIPTION ( ME WAS VALID D[N TO Y\R *>ACT]IZATION ( MY P$AGOGICAL ACTIVITY AS A TYPE ( MISSION>Y ACTIVITY1 ,I /ILL W\LDN'T SEE ?AT ,I HAD *OS5 ! WOR/ ( ! ALT]NATIVES AVAILABLE TO ME4 ,9 RETROSPECT ,I'M /ILL CONV9C$ ?AT UND] ! CIRCUM/ANCES ,I DID RA!R WELL1 S9CE ,I KN[ :AT O!R ALT]NATIVES W]E AVAILABLE TO ME4 ,I'VE HAD A FEW *ANCES TO SAMPLE ,LUISA'S AS WELL AS ,SAB9A'S ALT]NATIVES4 ,I MI<T 9 TIME HAVE RECONCIL$ MYSELF TO ,LUISA'S SITUATION1 BUT ,I C\LDN'T HAVE RETA9$ ! AM\NT ( 5]GY %E HAS MANAG$ TO KEEP ALIVE4 ,I C\LD NEV] HAVE BE5 ,SAB9A2 ,I W\LDN'T HAVE SURVIV$ EI!R PHYSICALLY OR PSY*OLOGICALLY4 

,9 A WAY IT'S IRONIC ?AT Y\ DESCRIBE ! ACTIVITY ,I *OSE AS A TYPE ( RELIGI\S ACTIVITY4 ,I VISIT$ ,LUISA SOON AFT] ,I />T$ TO WORK ON ! NEWSPAP]4 ,%E HAD JU/ BE5 CALL$ TO TE/IFY AT AN (FICIAL 9QUISITION2 %E WAS ASK$ :]E %E WAS FROM1 :AT %E HAD DONE1 :AT %E ?\<T4 ,LAT] %E LE>N$ ?AT ! 9QUISITION DIDN'T CONC]N H] BUT ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS4 ,HIS TURN HAD COME TO UND]GO ! TREATM5T TO :I* HE HAD SUBJECT$ ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS4 ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS1 ! P]SON ,I'VE ALWAYS REG>D$ AS A MODEL OPPORTUNI/1 WAS CALL$ A SUBV]SIVE & FIR$ FROM HIS TEA*+ JOB4 7,DON'T %$ TE>S = HIM ?\<2 HE IMM$IATELY OP5$ UP SOME K9D ( RESE>* ORGANIZATION CONNECT$ TO ! MILIT>Y & HE AGA9 SOLD HIS TAL5TS TO ! SAME GOV]NM5T ?AT HAD JU/ FIR$ HIM47 ,:5 ,LUISA TOLD ME AB\T ?AT1 ,I HAD ! FEEL+ ?AT ,I WAS AMONG ! PITIFULLY FEW PEOPLE :O W]E 5GAG$ 9 A /RUGGLE AGA9/ ! /ATE RELIGION & ITS 9QUISITION4 ,I SAW MYSELF AS AN A!I/ DUR+ A WIT* HUNT AIM$ NOT ONLY AT PEOPLE PLAY+ AT BE+ REVOLUTION>IES BUT EV5 AT TOTALLY UNPR9CIPL$ 9DIVIDUALS LIKE ,ALB]TS :O HAD ONCE 9 !IR LIVES BE5 SWEPT ALONG BY A REVOLUTION>Y UPSURGE4 

,SOME ( MY NEWSPAP] FRI5DS W]E DEVOT$ TO A C\NT]-RELIGION AS REPRESSIVE AS ! RELIGION WE F\<T AGA9/1 & !Y TRI$ TO CONV]T ME4 ,LEM'S & TO A SMALL] EXT5T ,ALEC'S GOAL WAS TO CONV]T ALL ! /UD5TS ( ! UNIV]SITY TO !IR =M ( /ATE WOR%IP4 ,BUT MY APPROA*1 9FLU5C$ BY ,LUISA & BY MY EXP]I5CES ) Y\1 WAS SIGNIFICANTLY DIFF]5T FROM !IRS4 ,I DON'T ?9K Y\ CAN REALLY *>ACT]IZE IT AS RELIGI\S4 ,UNLIKE ,LEM & ,ALEC1 ,I DIDN'T WRITE >TICLES AB\T FIR$ PR(ESSORS 9 ORD] TO PROVE ?AT !Y W\LDN'T HAVE BE5 FIR$ IF ! C\NT]-RELIGION PREVAIL$4 ,I KNEW P]FECTLY WELL ?AT ! PR(ESSORS W\LD NEV] HAVE BE5 HIR$ 9 ! FIR/ PLACE IF ?AT RELIGION PREVAIL$4 ,MY SOLE AIM WAS TO DESCRIBE ! MILIT>I/IC LECTURES1 ! BANN+ ( SPEAK]S1 ! FIR+S ( PR(ESSORS1 & TO LET READ]S DRAW !IR [N CONCLUSIONS FROM ! FACTS !MSELVES4 ,TO ME REALITY ITSELF WAS SO SC&AL\S ?AT ,I WAS SURE NUM]\S /UD5TS W\LD ACT AS SOON AS !Y KNEW :AT ! FACTS W]E4 ,I WAS WRONG1 BUT NOT ALTOGE!R4 ,SEV]AL YE>S LAT] A L>GE NUMB] ( /UD5TS DID 9 FACT RESPOND TO ! SC&AL2 ?AT MOVEM5T IS TODAY BE+ DR[N$ BY V>IANTS ( ! RELIGION !N C>RI$ BY ,RHEA & ,LEM4 ,I DIDN'T ONLY RESI/ ,RHEA'S & ,LEM'S ATTEMPTS TO RECRUIT & USE ME2 BY RESI/+ !M ,I HELP$ MESS UP !IR O!R PLANS & RU9 !IR M9USCULE ORGANIZATION4 

,! $ITOR ( ! CAMPUS NEWSPAP]1 ,HU< ,NURAVA1 WAS A V]Y MILD-MANN]$1 V]Y MIDDLE-CLASS /UD5T4 ,I WAS IMM$IATELY FASC9AT$ BY HIM4 ,! WORDS HE US$ MO/ FREQU5TLY W]E 0RESPONSIBLE0 & 0FAIR40 ,HE SEEM$ CONV9C$ !RE W]E ALWAYS TWO & NEV] MORE ?AN TWO SIDES TO EV]Y QUE/ION4 ,! TASK ( ! 0RESPONSIBLE0 $ITOR WAS TO BE 0FAIR0 TO EA* ( ! TWO SIDES4 ,ONCE ,ALEC WROTE AN >TICLE ON SOME /UD5TS :O HAD REFUS$ TO SWE> TO BE LOYAL TO ! /ATE2 !Y W]E =C$ TO M>* 9 A MILIT>Y P>ADE 9 !IR /REET CLO!S2 !Y LOOK$ RIDICUL\S1 EV5 TO !IR [N FRI5DS1 & EV]YONE LAU<$ AT !M4 ,HU< W5T \T ( HIS WAY TO GIVE EQUAL SPACE TO ! O!R HALF ( ! QUE/ION4 ,HE 9T]VIEW$ A MILIT>Y 0PR(ESSOR0 & PUBLI%$1 ALONGSIDE ,ALEC'S >TICLE1 AN EQUALLY LONG >TICLE DEPICT+ ! DANG]\S & ALL-P]VASIVE 5EMY AGA9/ :OSE IMM95T 9VASION ! UNI=M$ /UD5TS W]E PROTECT+ CIVILIZATION4 ,ONE TIME ,I WROTE AN >TICLE AB\T A PACIFI/ :O WAS TO SPEAK 9 A UNIV]SITY LECTURE HALL BUT :O WAS D5I$ P]MISSION TO SPEAK 9 ! HALL JU/ BE=E ! EV5T WAS S*$UL$ TO TAKE PLACE4 ,= ! SAKE ( 0FAIRNESS10 ,HU< TELEPHON$ ! UNIV]SITY ADM9I/RATION & ALONGSIDE MY >TICLE HE PUBLI%$ ! ADM9I/RATION'S (FICIAL /ATEM5T ?AT IT WAS ! UNIV]SITY'S POLICY NEV] TO PREV5T ANYONE FROM SPEAK+ ON CAMPUS S9CE FREE SPEE* WAS AN 9DISP5SABLE CONDITION = $UCATION ,! FACT ?AT ONE >TICLE FLATLY CONTRADICT$ ! O!R DIDN'T PROVE TO ,HU< ?AT ONE ( !M HAD TO BE FALSE2 IT CONV9C$ HIM ?AT 0! TRU?0 LAY 0SOME:]E BETWE5 ! TWO EXTREMES40 

,! P]SON ON ! NEXT RUNG ( ! NEWSPAP] HI]>*Y WAS ,BESS ,LA*4 ,%E WAS ! MANAG+ $ITOR4 ,%E WAS ! ONLY P]SON ON ! /AFF BESIDES ME :O DIDN'T HAVE A MIDDLE CLASS BACKGR\ND4 ,I LE>N$ ?AT H] MO!R WORK$ AS A CLEAN+-WOMAN = PEOPLE :O W]E MANAG]S 9 ! PLANT :]E ,LUISA WORK$4 ,H] FA!R HAD RUN (F :5 %E WAS A BABY4 ,YET AL?\< %E WAS EV5 MORE 0PROLET>IAN0 ?AN ,I1 NEI!R ,LEM NOR ,ALEC TOOK ! SLI<TE/ 9T]E/ 9 H]4 ,IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO COMMUNICATE ) H]4 ,%E WAS LIT]ALLY A MA*9E4 ,I'M SURE %E WAS ! BE/ MANAG+ $ITOR ?AT NEWSPAP] HAD BE=E OR S9CE4 ,%E READ1 MEASUR$1 C\NT$ ) ! SPE$ & PRECISION ( A COMPUT]4 ,BUT :5EV] %E OP5$ H] M\? %E >TICULAT$ A LAW4 0,DON'T1 CAN'T1 NOT ALL[$1 AGA9/ REGULATIONS0 APPE>$ 9 EV]Y /ATEM5T %E MADE4 ,%E HAD 9T]NALIZ$ ALL ! WRITT5 & UNWRITT5 CODES ( ! /ATE1 ! UNIV]SITY1 & :ILE ,HU< WAS $ITOR %E 9T]NALIZ$ ! CODE ( 0FAIRNESS & RESPONSIBILITY0 AS WELL4 ,BESS & ,HU< W5T ) EA* O!R :5 ,I MET !M4 ,I CAN'T IMAG9E :AT !Y C\LD HAVE SAID TO EA* O!R & ,I NEV] ASK$ HIM4 ,P]HAPS BY 5UM]AT+ ! REGULATIONS %E FAMILI>IZ$ ,HU< ) HIS 0RESPONSIBILITIES40 ,I HAVE TO ADMIT ,I WASN'T ABLE TO MU/] UP ANY SOLID>ITY T[>D MY FELL[ WORK] ,BESS4 

,! MO/ BIZ>RE MEMB] ( ! NEWSPAP] /AFF WAS ,?UR/ON ,RAK%AS4 ,HE CAME FROM ! V]Y TOP ( ! SOCIAL HI]>*Y & ,I'M SURE ?AT'S :]E HE IS AGA9 TODAY4 ,HE CONSID]$ HIMSELF SUP]IOR TO ! RE/ ( US 9 WIT1 KN[L$GE AS WELL AS LOOKS4 ,HE ?\<T HIMSELF A HUMORI/4 ,HE WROTE A REGUL> JOKE COLUMN :I* WAS 9 FACT V]Y CLEV] & OCCASIONALLY HE WROTE AN >TICLE4 ,I LAU<$ :5EV] HE SAID ANY?+ AT ALL4 ,HE ?\<T ,I APPRECIAT$ HIS BRILLIANT S5SE ( HUMOR4 ,9 FACT ,I LAU<$ AT HIM4 ,I ?\<T HIS POSES W]E LUDICR\S & HIL>I\S4 ,I HAD NEV] BE5 SO CLOSE TO A REAL DILETTANTE1 A G5U9E HEIR TO ! WEAL? WR5*$ FROM ! LABOR ( MILLIONS ( WAGE WORK]S4 ,HE NEV] SAW ?R\< ME4 ,G5U9ELY CONV9C$ ?AT MY LAU<T] EXPRESS$ APPRECIATION ( HIS WIT1 ONE DAY HE ASK$ ME TO ACCOMPANY HIM TO A DANCE :I* WAS GO+ TO TAKE PLACE SEV]AL WEEKS LAT]4 ,I ACCEPT$ HIS 9VITATION IMM$IATELY4 ,9 A FLA% ,I FIGUR$ \T ?IS WAS MY *ANCE TO SLIP AWAY FROM ! UNWANT$ ATT5TIONS ( ,LEM AS WELL AS ,RHEA4 ,I MADE IT A PO9T ( ANN\NC+ TO EV]YONE ON ! /AFF ?AT ,I HAD ACCEPT$ ,?UR/ON'S 9VITATION TO ! DANCE4 

,MY /RATEGY WAS COMPLETELY SUCCESSFUL1 BUT 9 WAYS ,I HADN'T EXPECT$ AT ALL4 

,:5 ,I TOLD ,RHEA1 %E SAID1 0,I GUESS ,I OV]E/IMAT$ Y\R CLASS CONSCI\SNESS40 ,?AT PUT AN 5D TO H] ADMIRATION = H] PROLET>IAN ROOMMATE4 ,%E NEV] AGA9 ASK$ ME AB\T ! $UCATIONAL BACKGR\ND ( MY 0FAMILY40 ,& %E NEV] AGA9 ASK$ ME TO JO9 H] ORGANIZATION4 

,LEM CAU<T ME LATE ONE AFT]NOON :5 ,I WAS ALONE 9 ! NEWSPAP] (FICE TYP+ AN >TICLE4 ,HE SAT D[N NEXT TO ME & />T$ TO CRY4 0,>E Y\ ACTUALLY GO+ TO GO ?R\< ) ?AT80 HE ASK$4 

0,) :AT1 ,LEM80 ,I ASK$ 9NOC5TLY4 

0,>E Y\ GO+ TO GO \T ) ?AT REACTION>Y1 ?AT EXPLOIT] ( ! WORK+ CLASS80 HE ASK$4 

0,HE'S REALLY A WOND]FUL P]SON :5 Y\ GET TO KN[ HIM1 ,LEM10 ,I LI$4 

,9 ,LEM'S EYES ,I WAS 0LO/40 ,MY /RATEGY WAS AN 9/ANT SUCCESS2 FROM ?AT DAY ON ,I NO LONG] HAD A PRIVATE MISSION>Y TRAIL+ ME LIKE A %AD[4 ,LEM RETREAT$ TO ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS & TO HIS ORGANIZATIONAL MEET+S4 

,:AT TOOK ME COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE WAS ,ALEC'S RESPONSE TO MY 9S9C]E FLIRTATION ) ,?UR/ON4 ,ALEC WAS JEAL\S4 ,HE HAT*$ A PLOT TO 0SAVE0 ME FROM ! CLAWS ( ! 0DANG]\S REACTION>Y40 ,& 9 ! PROCESS ( WORK+ \T HIS EXQUISITELY DESIGN$ PLOT HE ?REW ALL ( HIS POLITICAL COMMITM5TS OV]BO>D1 SPOIL$ ! PLANS & PROJECTS ( HIS ORGANIZATION1 & CREAT$ ABSOLUTE *AOS ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF4 

,ALEC DIDN'T CONFRONT ME ) ! PROBLEM DIRECTLY4 ,9 FACT HE TOOK SU* A R\ND-AB\T APPROA* ?AT ,I DIDN'T FIGURE \T :AT HE HAD DONE UNTIL SEV]AL MON?S LAT]4 ,HIS /RATEGY WAS BRILLIANT & LIKE ALL BRILLIANT /RATEGIES IT L$ TO COMPLETELY UNEXPECT$ CONSEQU5CES4 

,HE BEGAN BY BREAK+ UP HIS RELATION%IP ) ,RHEA4 ,HE TOLD H] HE WAS DISILLUSION$ ) ! ORGANIZATION & TORE UP HIS MEMB]%IP C>D 9 H] PRES5CE4 ,RHEA BLAM$ ME4 ,%E ACCUS$ ME ( BRA9WA%+ HIM ) REACTION>Y >GUM5TS4 ,I >GU$ FROM ! BOTTOM ( MY HE>T ?AT ,I'D HAD NO?+ TO DO ) ,ALEC'S DISILLUSIONM5T4 ,I FELT SORRY = H]4 ,LITTLE DID ,I KN[ !N ! PLACE ,I OCCUPI$ 9 ,ALEC'S S*EME4 ,:5 ,I BEGAN TO FIGURE IT \T ,I SIL5TLY MOV$ 9TO ANO!R ROOM4 

,ALEC'S 0DEFECTION0 FROM ! ORGANIZATION & MY DEFICI5CY AS A 0RANK-&-FILE LEAD]0 LEFT ,LEM ISOLAT$ ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF4 ,TO REM$Y ?IS ,RHEA H]SELF JO9$ ! /AFF4 

,AFT] BREAK+ UP ) ,RHEA1 ,ALEC =M$ A CLIQUE ) ,M9NIE ,VA* & ,DAMAN ,HESP]1 ! REMA9+ TWO REGUL> MEMB]S ( ! NEWSPAP] /AFF4 ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN W]E MEMB]S ( A POLITICAL SECT :I* WAS 9DI/+UI%ABLE FROM ,LEM'S ORGANIZATION 9 T]MS ( ITS 9T]NAL RELATION%IPS BUT :I* CONSID]$ ,LEM'S & ,RHEA'S ORGANIZATION ! MA9 EVIL ?AT PLAGU$ HUMANITY4 ,I ACTUALLY AGRE$ ) MU* ( :AT !Y SAID4 ,MANY ( !IR VIEWS EV5 HAD A SUP]FICIAL SIMIL>ITY TO VIEWS Y\'VE EXPRESS$ 9 Y\R LETT]S4 ,= EXAMPLE1 !Y HELD ?AT AN ORGANIZATION ( PR(ESSIONAL REVOLUTION>IES :I* CLAIM$ TO LIB]ATE ! WORK]S W\LD ONLY 5?RALL$ !M2 !Y HELD ?AT ! WORK]S' REVOLUTION C\LD ONLY BE L$ BY ! WORK]S !MSELVES4 ,:AT ,I C\LDN'T UND]/& !N & /ILL CAN'T N[ IS H[ !Y VIEW$ !IR [N SECT4 ,!Y NEV] TIR$ ( TELL+ ME ?AT ! ROLE ( !IR ORGANIZATION WAS NOT TO LEAD ! WORK]S BUT TO $UCATE !M4 ,IT NEV] SEEM$ TO OCCUR TO !M ?AT ! TEA*] IS ! ONE :O LEADS1 ! /UD5T ! ONE :O FOLL[S4 

,ALEC'S RESIGNATION FROM ,LEM'S & ,RHEA'S SECT WAS A PRECONDITION = HIS ALLIANCE ) ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN4 7,IF ,I REF] TO ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN AS A S+LE P]SON IT'S BECAUSE AT ?AT TIME !Y W]E LIKE ,SIAMESE TW9S2 ,M9NIE =MULAT$ ! >GUM5TS & ,DAMAN M]ELY EMPHASIZ$ !M47 ,ALEC HAD A LONG TALK ) ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN A FEW DAYS AFT] HE BROKE UP ) ,RHEA4 ,HE TOLD !M HE HAD F9ALLY BE5 CONV9C$ BY !IR >GUM5TS & HAD QUIT HIS ORGANIZATION2 HE PROV$ ?IS BY %[+ !M HIS TORN MEMB]%IP C>D4 ,HE EV5 ATT5D$ A FEW MEET+S ( !IR ORGANIZATION1 AL?\< HE LAT] TOLD ME HE DIDN'T AGREE ) !IR ORGANIZATIONAL PRACTICES AT ALL4 ,AS SOON AS HE GA9$ !IR TRU/1 ! ?REE BEGAN TO PLAN A S]IES ( >TICLES :I* W\LD SY/EMATICALLY EXPOSE ! BIAS ( ! $UCATION1 ! EXT5T TO :I* MILIT>I/S & /ATE (FICIALS DOM9AT$ ! UNIV]SITY'S POLICIES1 ! C[>DICE ( ADM9I/RATORS & PR(ESSORS1 ! APA?Y ( /UD5TS4 

,EV]Y DAY ONE ( !M SUBMITT$ EXPOSURES ( ! MILIT>Y CURRICULUM1 >TICLES ON FIR$ PR(ESSORS1 9T]VIEWS ) PACIFI/S4 ,HU< C\LDN'T POSSIBLY KEEP UP ) 0! O!R SIDE0 ( ALL ! QUE/IONS RAIS$ 9 !IR >TICLES4 ,CONSEQU5TLY !RE WAS A LIVELY CONFRONTATION 9 ! NEWSPAP] (FICE ALMO/ EV]Y DAY4 ,BESS & ,?UR/ON >GU$ ?AT IF ! 0O!R SIDE0 W]5'T GIV5 EQUAL SPACE1 ! PAP] W\LD BECOME A PROPAG&A %EET & ?AT CONSEQU5TLY ! >TICLES ( ,M9NIE1 ,DAMAN OR ,ALEC %\LD BE SUPPRESS$ :5EV] A REJO9D] C\LDN'T BE PUBLI%$ ) !M4 ,HU<'S POSITION WASN'T AS CLE> AS ?AT4 ,COMMITT$ ?\< HE WAS TO PUBLI%+ TWO SIDES TO EV]Y QUE/ION1 HE HAD YET ANO!R PR9CIPLE2 NO >TICLE %\LD EV] BE SUPPRESS$4 ,S9CE HE C\LDN'T RESOLVE ! CONFLICT BETWE5 HIS TWO PR9CIPLES HE W\LD PUT ! QUE/ION TO A /AFF VOTE4 ,AT FIR/ ! RESULT ( ! VOT+ WAS ?AT ,M9NIE1 ,DAMAN & ,ALEC \TNUMB]$ ,BESS & ,?UR/ON BECAUSE ,HU<1 ,RHEA1 ,LEM & ,I AB/A9$4 ,AS A RESULT ALL !IR >TICLES W]E PUBLI%$4 ,! REASON ,LEM & ,RHEA AB/A9$ WAS ?AT !Y REFUS$ TO BE ON ! SAME SIDE AS ,M9NIE1 ,DAMAN & ! 0R5EGADE0 ,ALEC4 ,I AB/A9$ BECAUSE1 AL?\< ,I FAVOR$ 9CLUD+ ! >TICLES )\T VIEWS ( ! O!R SIDE1 MY VOTE WASN'T NE$$ = !IR 9CLUSION4 ,BUT ?IS /ATE ( AFFAIRS DIDN'T LA/4 ,ON ONE OCCASION ,M9NIE WROTE AN >TICLE :I* CONTA9$ A CRITIQUE ( ,LEM'S & ,RHEA'S ORGANIZATION4 ,FROM ?AT DAY ON1 BO? ,RHEA & ,LEM =M$ A LUDICR\S BLOC ) ,BESS & ,?UR/ON & VOT$ AGA9/ ! 9CLUSION ( EV]Y >TICLE WRITT5 BY ,ALEC1 ,M9NIE OR ,DAMAN1 :O W]E \TNUMB]$ F\R TO ?REE4 ,I WAS =C$ TO TAKE SIDES4 ,( C\RSE ,I VOT$ 9 FAVOR ( 9CLUD+ EV]Y >TICLE )\T A REBUTTAL & AS A RESULT !RE WAS A TIE3 F\R 9 FAVOR & F\R AGA9/4 ,TEMP]S ROSE & CLIQUES H>D5$4 ,AFT] ONE P>TICUL>LY HEAT$ EX*ANGE :I* TOOK PLACE ONLY A FEW DAYS BE=E ! DANCE TO :I* ,I WAS TO ACCOMPANY ,?UR/ON1 HE V]Y POLITELY TOLD ME HE W\LD PREF] NOT TO GO ) ME4 ,I WAS RELIEV$4 ,ALEC HAD KN[N ?AT SOON] OR LAT] ,I'D TAKE SIDES & AT ?AT PO9T ,I'D CLA% ) ,?UR/ON4 ,I WAS NO LONG] 9HIBIT$ FROM OP5LY JO9+ ! 0CLIQUE40 ,BUT ! ULTIMATE DECISION AS TO :E!R OR NOT TO 9CLUDE ! >TICLES AGA9 DEP5D$ ON ,HU<4 ,HE ONCE AGA9 F\ND A WAY TO BE FAIR TO EA* ( ! TWO SIDES4 ,HE VOT$ ) US ONE DAY & AGA9/ US ! NEXT1 SO ?AT NE>LY EV]Y O!R ONE ( \R >TICLES WAS SUPPRESS$4 ,9 SPITE ( ! EXCLUSION ( ALMO/ HALF ( \R >TICLES ,I FELT ?AT MY NEW FRI5DS & ,I W]E 5GAG$ 9 A VIRTUAL CRUSADE TO EXPOSE ! REPRESSIVE ATMOSPH]E ( ! UNIV]SITY4 

,MY ACCEPTANCE ( MY NEW FRI5DS WASN'T UNQUALIFI$4 ,I R>ELY >GU$ ) ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN4 ,!Y W]E 9F9ITELY BETT] 9=M$ ?AN ,I & ! CONVOLUT$ S5T5CES 9 :I* !Y C\*$ !IR >GUM5TS 9TIMIDAT$ ME4 ,YET DESPITE !IR ]UDITION & !IR RHETORICAL TAL5TS ,I SAW ?R\< !IR \TLOOK2 ,I ?\<T IT WAS A SUP]FICIAL V]SION ( ,LUISA'S4 ,!IR AFFIRMATION ?AT WORK+ PEOPLE W]E P]FECTLY CAPABLE ( RUNN+ !IR [N AFFAIRS SEEM$ TO BE A M]E SLOGAN ?AT NEI!R ,M9NIE NOR ,DAMAN REALLY BELIEV$4 ,! WORK]S' ABILITY TO RUN !IR [N AFFAIRS SEEM$ TO DEP5D ON !IR ABILITY TO LE>N ?IS FROM ,M9NIE'S & ,DAMAN'S ORGANIZATION4 ,& !Y W]E CONV9C$1 BELIEVE IT OR NOT1 ?AT !IR SECT HAD DISCOV]$ ?AT WORK]S W]E ABLE TO RUN !IR [N AFFAIRS1 ?AT !IR SECT HAD DISCOV]$ WORK]S' C\NCILS1 & ?AT !IR SECT HAD DISCOV]$ ! REACTION>Y *>ACT] ( ! ROLE ( REVOLUTION>Y POLITICIANS4 ,NA*ALO1 ,M>G>ITA & ,LUISA HAD LE>N$ ALL ?IS FROM EXP]I5CES !Y HAD LIV$2 ?IS KN[L$GE HAD FL[$ 9 !IR BLOOD2 !Y HAD LE>N$ FROM PA9FUL C\NT]REVOLUTION>Y W>S H[ REVOLUTION>Y POLITICIANS TRANS=M$ ! WORK]S' MOVEM5T 9TO A GANG ( GOV]NM5T BUREAUCRATS4 ,TO ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN !SE PA9FUL EXP]I5CES W]E NO?+ BUT PHRASES DISCOV]$ BY !IR SECT ONLY YE/]DAY & NOT YET APPLI$ TO !IR RELATION%IPS ) EA* O!R )9 !IR ORGANIZATION4 ,I C\LDN'T RESPECT !M4 ,BUT ,I DID 5JOY MUCKRAK+ ) !M4 

,I ACCEPT$ ,ALEC ) FEW] MISGIV+S4 ,HE WAS POLITICALLY UN=M$4 ,HE HAD JO9$ ,RHEA'S SECT = ! SAME REASONS Y\ SAID ,MANUEL HAD JO9$ HIS ORGANIZATION4 ,ALEC HAD BE5 ,RHEA'S BOY FRI5D & HAD FOLL[$ H] 9TO ! ORGANIZATION ON A DATE4 ,:5 HE BECAME 9T]E/$ 9 ME1 HE AB&ON$ ,RHEA AS WELL AS ! 5TIRE CR$O ( H] ORGANIZATION4 ,AFT] HE LEFT ! ORGANIZATION HE WORK$ \T A POLITICAL POTP\RRI CONSI/+ ( ,M9NIE'S & MY OBS]VATIONS C\*$ 9 PHRASES HE HAD RETA9$ FROM HIS E>LI] COMMITM5T4 ,ALEC HAD NO?+ AT ALL 9 COMMON ) Y\ OR ,JAN ,S$LAK OR ,RON ,MAT!WS4 ,BUT 9 SPITE ( HIS NAIVETE1 P]HAPS BECAUSE ( IT1 ,I LIK$ HIM A LOT4 

,ONE NI<T1 A FEW WEEKS AFT] ,I MOV$ \T ( ,RHEA'S ROOM1 ,SAB9A SURPRIS$ ME ) A VISIT4 ,%E BUR/ 9TO MY ROOM AT ! CO-OP LATE AT NI<T4 ,ALEC HAD JU/ BR\<T ME HOME4 ,HE & ,I HAD TAK5 ! PAP] TO ! PR9T]'S ?AT NI<T2 WE HAD DONE ALL ! LA/ M9UTE PRO(READ+ ( GALLEYS & %ORT5+ ( >TICLES4 ,SAB9A HAD WAIT$ \TSIDE = ,ALEC TO LEAVE4 ,I WAS DEAD TIR$ & MY HEAD WAS FILL$ ) ! DAY'S EV5TS4 ,M9NIE HAD SUBMITT$ A V]Y LONG 9T]VIEW ) A CAMPUS G5]AL :O HAD BOA/FULLY %[$ H] ! FILES HE KEPT ON ALL ! /UD5TS 9 ! UNIV]SITY4 ,HE CLASSIFI$ /UD5TS 9 T]MS ( !IR DEGREE ( PATRIOTISM1 FROM LOYAL TO APA!TIC1 DISLOYAL1 DANG]\S & SUBV]SIVE4 ,! >TICLE WAS ONE ( ! BIGGE/ EXPOSURES ( ! YE>4 ,HU< HAD VOT$ ) ! F\R ( US TO 9CLUDE ! >TICLE4 

,I WASN'T GLAD TO SEE ,SAB9A ?AT NI<T4 ,I KNEW ?AT ,I HAD TURN$ AGA9/ H] & ,RON LONG BE=E !Y HAD LEFT ME /&+ NEXT TO !IR BICYCLES4 ,I KNEW ?AT MY HO/ILITY T[>D ,SAB9A & ,RON HAD BE5 ONLY P>TLY MOTIVAT$ BY ! FACT ?AT !Y HADN'T TRU/$ ME AT ! TIME ( ! ROBB]Y4 ,I KNEW ?AT ,I HAD REJECT$ ,RON EV5 BE=E \R EXCURSION TO ! BEA* 9 ! C> ,RON WRECK$4 ,?IS WAS V]Y CLE> TO ME :5 ,I SAW ,SAB9A ?AT NI<T BECAUSE ,I WAS !N 9 ! MID/ ( ! ACTIVITIES & FRI5DS ,I HAD HOP$ TO F9D :5 ,I HAD FIR/ TURN$ AGA9/ ,RON4 ,IT WAS CLE> TO ME ?AT ,I HAD REJECT$ ,RON ALREADY :5 \R RELATION%IP WAS AT ITS PEAK1 AT ! TIME ( \R E>LIE/ BICYCLE EXCURSIONS4 ,RON HAD KN[N ?AT AS E>LY AS ,I HAD4 ,IT HAD BE5 AS OBVI\S TO HIM AS TO ME ?AT HE C\LD NO MORE TAKE MY PA? ?AN ,I HIS1 HE W\LD HAVE SUFFOCAT$ 9 AN ATMOSPH]E ( PETTY QU>RELS C\*$ 9 ]UDITE LANGUAGE2 HE C\LDN'T HAVE F\<T HIS BATTLES ON ?AT T]RA94 ,YES1 ,Y>O/AN1 ,I KNEW H[ E>LY ,I HAD MADE ! *OICE Y\ DESCRIBE4 ,IT WASN'T ,RON'S T]RA9 OR ,SAB9A'S4 ,BUT ,I KNEW IT WAS M9E4 ,IT WASN'T ALL PETTY QU>RELS4 ,BY ?AT NI<T ,I HAD ALREADY F\<T SOME MEAN+FUL BATTLES4 ,I DON'T WANT TO EXAGG]ATE !IR SIGNIFICANCE1 BUT ,I'M C]TA9 !Y W]E F> MORE MEAN+FUL ?AN ANY BATTLES ,I C\LD HAVE F\<T ON ,RON'S T]RA94 ,AS ,I /UDI$ ,SAB9A1 WOND]+ :Y %E HAD COME1 ,I DIDN'T REGRET HAV+ REJECT$ !IR PA?2 ,I C\LDN'T IMAG9E ANY?+ SOCIALLY RELEVANT GR[+ \T ( /OL5 C>S4 ,?IS WAS ! ONLY TIME ,I SAW ,SAB9A UNTIL ,I WAS EXPELL$ FROM COLLEGE4 ,! FOLL[+ MORN+ ,I REMEMB]$ H] VISIT AS A BAD DREAM4 

,SAB9A SPOKE LIKE A ROBOT4 ,%E LOOK$ PA/ ME & SEEM$ NOT TO C>E :E!R OR NOT ,I HE>D H]4 0,RON IS DEAD40 

0,DEAD6 ,H[8 ,:580 ,I ASK$4 

0,Y\ & ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS >E RESPONSIBLE10 %E DRON$4 

,I ?\<T H] COLDNESS & H] SEEM+ 9DIFF]5CE W]E SYMPTOMS ( HY/]IA4 ,I PAID NO ATT5TION TO ! ACCUSATION4 ,I REPEAT$ MY QUE/IONS4 

0,MISS+ 9 ACTION10 %E ANSW]$4 0,!Y DIDN'T SAY :5 OR H[40 

0,BUT :5 DID HE JO9 ! >MY80 ,I ASK$ ) DISBELIEF4 

0,AIR =CE4 ,HE SIGN$ UP BECAUSE ( Y\10 %E TOLD ME )\T RAIS+ H] VOICE1 )\T SEEM+ TO BE AW>E ?AT %E WAS TELL+ ME ANY?+ EXTRAORD9>Y4 

0,SAB9A60 ,I %\T$4 0,I DON'T UND]/&60 ,I BUR/ 9TO TE>S4 

0,I DIDN'T ?9K Y\ W\LD4 ,BUT ,I ?\<T Y\ \<T TO KN[40 ,SAY+ ?AT1 %E LEFT AS ABRUPTLY AS %E'D COME4 ,I CRI$1 UNCOMPREH5D+1 UNTIL ,I FELL ASLEEP )\T UNDRESS+ OR WA%+4 

,! NEXT MORN+ ,ALEC'S KNOCK ON ! DOOR WOKE ME4 ,HE WAS ANNOY$4 0,:AT'S ! MATT] ) Y\80 HE ASK$4 0,?IS IS A HELL ( A DAY TO OV]SLEEP40 ,WE HAD 9T5D$ TO RU% TO ! BOXES :]E ! PAP]S W]E DI/RIBUT$ SO AS TO SEE H[ /UD5TS RESPOND$ TO ,M9NIE'S >TICLE4 ,WE SP5T ! DAY 9T]VIEW+ /UD5TS :O W]E WILL+ TO EXPRESS !IR RESPONSES TO ! >TICLE4 ,SAB9A'S VISIT & ,RON'S DEA? REC$$ 9 MY MEMORY4  
  

"9 "9 "9 

0,Y\'RE ABSOLUTELY RI<T10 ,I ADMIT TO ,SAB9A4 0,BY ! TIME ( ,RON'S TRIAL ,I HAD ALREADY MADE MY *OICE4 ,I HAD WALK$ \T ON ,RON4 ,BUT :Y DID Y\ SAY ,I WAS RESPONSIBLE :5 Y\ CAME TO TELL ME ,RON WAS DEAD80 

0,Y\ & ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS W]E RESPONSIBLE10 ,SAB9A SAYS 9 ! SAME TONE %E HAD US$ F\RTE5 YE>S E>LI]4 

0,H[ CAN Y\ REPEAT ?AT ACCUSATION TODAY80 ,I ASK H]4 0,:5 Y\ SAID IT ?AT NI<T Y\ VISIT$ ME AT ! CO-OP1 ,I ?\<T Y\ W]E HY/]ICAL4 ,RON HAD LEFT Y\ & HE'D JU/ BE5 KILL$ 9 ! W>40 

0,RON NEV] LEFT ME10 %E SAYS4 0,HE LEFT Y\4 ,& HE WASN'T KILL$ 9 ! W>40 

0,W\LD Y\ /OP BE+ SO CRYPTIC & MY/]I\S60 ,I %\T4 0,:AT Y\'RE SAY+ DOESN'T MEAN ANY?+ TO ME60 

,T9A ASKS ME1 0,>E Y\ SURE IT WAS ,SAB9A :O WAS HY/]ICAL ?AT NI<T80 

0,:AT ! HELL DO Y\ KN[ AB\T IT80 ,I ASK ,T9A4 0,Y\ W]E ONLY F\R YE>S OLD AT ?AT TIME40 

0,I KN[ A HELL ( A LOT MORE AB\T IT ?AN Y\ DO10 ,T9A PROCLAIMS4 0,FIR/ ( ALL ,I WAS ALMO/ FIVE1 & SECONDLY ,JOSE TOLD ME AB\T HIS LA/ DAYS ) ,RON AT LEA/ A DOZ5 TIMES BE=E Y\ CAME TO ! G>AGE4 ,Y\ W]E ALWAYS ! VILLA9 ( HIS /ORY4 ,I ?\<T ( Y\ ALONG ) ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS & ,TOM ,MAT!WS AS ! BAD PEOPLE ( ?IS WORLD40 

0,IF Y\ KNEW SO MU*1 :Y DIDN'T Y\ TELL ME AFT] Y\ LEFT ! G>AGE80 ,I ASK H]4 

0,>E Y\ KIDD+8 ,Y\ W]E AB\T AS 9T]E/$ 9 ,RON AS ,LUISA IS10 ,T9A SAYS4 0,:5EV] ,I M5TION$ ,RON Y\ W5T 9TO Y\R PR(ESSIONAL POSE4 ',OH REALLY8 ,:AT ELSE DID HE /EAL8'0 

,LUISA CONTRIBUTES3 0,:AT ELSE WAS !RE TO TELL AB\T HIM80 

0,NO?+10 ,I SAY TO H]2 0ABSOLUTELY NO?+40 

0,SO :Y %\LD ,SOPHIA HAVE WANT$ TO HE> AB\T ,RON80 ,LUISA ASKS ,T9A4 

,I ANSW]1 0,BECAUSE ,I WANT TO HE> AB\T HIM N[1 ?AT'S :Y4 ,I WANT TO KN[ :AT IT WAS ?AT ,T9A KNEW AB\T ,RON DUR+ ALL !SE YE>S40 

0,! DAY ,RON GOT \T ( RE=M S*OOL ,JOSE & ,SAB9A W5T TO GET HIM10 ,T9A BEG9S4 0,9/EAD ( BE+ GLAD TO SEE HIS TWO BE/ FRI5DS ,RON GOT 9TO ! C> & ASK$1 ',:]E'S ,SOPHIE8'0 

,I ASK ,SAB9A1 0,IS ,T9A MAK+ ?AT UP80 ,SAB9A %AKES H] HEAD4 

0,JOSE ?\<T ,RON WAS JOK+10 ,T9A CONT9UES4 0,HE ASK$ ,RON :O ! HELL ,SOPHIE WAS4 ,!N HE GOT MAD AT ,RON = EXPECT+ SOMEONE ELSE TO HAVE COME = HIM 9/EAD1 BUT HE SAW TE>S 9 ,RON'S EYES & ASK$ ,SAB9A :O ELSE ,RON WAS EXPECT+4 ,SAB9A TOLD HIM Y\ HADN'T KN[N :5 ,RON WAS SUPPOS$ TO BE RELEAS$40 

0,Y\ NEV] TOLD ME ANY?+ AB\T ?AT10 ,I SAY TO ,SAB9A4 

,SAB9A ANSW]S1 0,WE VISIT$ Y\ AFT] ,RON WAS RELEAS$ & ALL Y\ SAID WAS ',REALLY8'0 

0,RON H>DLY SAID A WORD TO ME ?AT NI<T10 ,I 9SI/4 0,Y\ DID ALL ! TALK+4 ,HE SEEM$ TO BE 9 A DIFF]5T WORLD40 

0,DIFF]5T FROM :OSE80 ,SAB9A ASKS4 

0,M9E6 ,FROM M9E60 ,I ANSW] ANGRILY4 0,Y\'RE SO RI<T6 ,HAVE Y\ EV] BE5 WRONG1 ,SAB9A1 AB\T ANY?+80 

,T9A CONT9UES1 0,JOSE SAID ,RON *ANG$ AFT] HE & ,SAB9A VISIT$ Y\4 ,JOSE ?\<T IT WAS !N ?AT ,RON DECID$ !RE W]E TWO OR ?REE MORE ?+S HE WANT$ TO DO 9 HIS LIFE BE=E HE WAS ?R\<40 

0,IT ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE ?AT AFT] A P]SON IS DEAD10 ,I TELL H]4 0,! LA/ ?+S A P]SON DOES ALWAYS LOOK LIKE ! LA/ ?+S HE HAD 9T5D$ TO DO40 

0,JOSE HADN'T JU/ MET ,RON1 Y\ KN[60 ,T9A EXCLAIMS4 0,HE HAD ?AT FEEL+ BE=E ,RON DI$1 NOT AFT]40 

0,I KN[ H[ LONG ,JOSE HAD KN[N ,RON10 ,I ADMIT4 ,TOM & ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS HAD ADOPT$ ,JOSE DUR+ ! DEPRESSION4 ,IT WAS MA9LY ,JOSE :O BR\<T UP ,RON :5 BO? ,TOM & ,DEBBIE HAD JOBS DUR+ ! W>4 ,SOME YE>S AFT] ! W> ,TOM ACCUS$ ,JOSE ( TEA*+ ,RON TO BE A CRIM9AL4 ,JOSE ANGRILY LEFT ! ,MAT!WS & DIDN'T SEE !M AGA9 UNTIL ,RON'S TRIAL4 

,T9A CONT9UES1 0,! FIR/ ?+ ,RON WANT$ TO DO AFT] VISIT+ Y\ WAS TO F9D ,T$1 :O HAD LEFT RE=M S*OOL SOME MON?S BE=E ,RON40 

0,TO />T ! G>AGE3 /OL5 P>TS AT CUT RATES & H]O9 = ! HEAL? ( ! POOR] FOLK10 ,I SAY S>CA/ICALLY4 

0,BUT Y\'RE JU/ LIKE ,LUISA60 ,T9A SAYS TO ME4 

0,I'M SORRY10 ,I TELL H]4 0,PLEASE GO ON40 

0,RON & ,JOSE LOOK$ = ,T$ BECAUSE HE WAS GOOD AT /EAL+ C>S40 ,T9A SAYS4 0,EV] S9CE ! TRIAL ONE IDEA HAD BE5 ON BO? !IR M9DS3 TO GET EV5 ) ,TOM ,MAT!WS4 ,RON HAD WANT$ Y\ TO BE 9 ON ! REV5GE4 ,?AT'S :Y HE & ,SAB9A VISIT$ Y\40 

0,TO TAKE P>T 9 REV5GE80 ,LUISA ASKS4 0,IS ?AT ! ACT ( 9DIVIDUAL REBELLION ,Y>O/AN PRAISES 9 HIS LETT]S80 

,T9A DISREG>DS ,LUISA'S 9T]RUPTION & CONT9UES1 0,TOM ,MAT!WS HAD B\<T A BR& NEW C> RI<T AFT] ! TRIAL4 ,HE W\LD P>K IT RI<T 9 FRONT ( HIS D9] & HE'D SP5D HALF ! DAY LOOK+ ?R\< ! W9D[ TO SEE IF IT WAS /ILL !RE4 ,JOSE1 ,RON & ,T$ DROVE (F ) IT 9 BROAD DAYLI<T A C\PLE ( SECONDS AFT] HE'D JU/ LOOK$ AT IT & PROBABLY A C\PLE ( SECONDS BE=E HE LOOK$ AT IT AGA9 & SAW ?AT IT WAS GONE4 ,! FIR/ COMM5T ,RON MADE :5 !Y DROVE (F WAS3 ',I BET ,SOPHIE W\LD HAVE LOV$ TO SEE ! OLD MAN'S FACE :5 HE SAW ?AT C> GONE4 ,I'D GIVE MY RI<T >M TO HE> :AT %E'D HAVE SAID2 IF %E C\LD ONLY HAVE /OOD ACROSS ! /REET & WAT*$ HIS EXPRESSION ?IS W\LD HAVE BE5 P]FECT4'0 

0,GOOD GRIEF60 ,LUISA YELLS4 0,:Y Y\80 

,I ANSW]1 0,BECAUSE ,RON'S OLD MAN ALMO/ %OT ME ! NI<T ,RON TOOK ME TO HIS H\SE4 ,YES1 ,RON WAS RI<T2 ,I REALLY W\LD HAVE LIK$ TO SEE ?AT OLD MAN'S FACE40 

,T9A CONT9UES1 0,!Y DROVE IT AWAY & DISMANTL$ IT SO COMPLETELY ?AT ,MAT!WS HIMSELF C\LDN'T HAVE RECOGNIZ$ HIS NEW C> IF HE'D WALK$ 9TO ! G>AGE & LOOK$ RI<T AT IT4 ,HE W5T \T ( HIS M9D :5 HE SAW HIS NEW C> WAS GONE4 ,HE HUNT$ = ,RON ALL OV] ! CITY4 ,ONE DAY HE EV5 CAME TO \R H\SE --0 

0,ALB]TS' H\SE10 ,SAB9A CORRECTS4 

0,HE CAME ) A GUN1 LOOK+ = ,RON4 ,HE W\LD HAVE %OT ,SAB9A IF ,I HADN'T SCREAM$10 ,T9A SAYS PR\DLY4 

0,DO Y\ REMEMB] ?AT80 ,SAB9A ASKS4 

0,I ALMO/ REMEMB]10 ,T9A SAYS4 0,ANYWAY ,I ?\<T ,I REMEMB]$ :5 Y\ FIR/ TOLD ME AB\T IT4 ,Y\ LAU<$ AT HIM4 ,Y\ TOLD HIM --0 

0 -- ?AT ,RON HAD JU/ BECOME A PR(ESSIONAL KILL]10 ,SAB9A SAYS1 0& ?AT HE'D DROP A BOMB ON ,MAT!WS' H\SE40 

0,MAT!WS W5T WILD10 ,T9A CONT9UES4 0,HE WAV$ HIS GUN 9 ,SAB9A'S FACE2 HE WAV$ IT AT ME :5 ,I SCREAM$2 & !N HE RAN \T ( ! H\SE40 

0,Y\ HAD SOME N]VE TO LAU< AT HIM :5 HE WAS 9 SU* A /ATE60 ,I TELL ,SAB9A4 0,HE C\LD HAVE KILL$ BO? ( Y\60 

0,WE'RE BO? /ILL H]E ?\<10 ,T9A SAYS4 0,MAT!WS CLOS$ HIS D9] DUR+ ALL ! WEEKS HE SP5T LOOK+ = ,RON4 ,:5 HE OP5$ ! D9] AGA9 H>DLY ANY ( HIS =M] CU/OM]S RETURN$4 ,MO/ ( !M W5T TO A FRAN*IS$ RE/AURANT ACROSS ! /REET :I* HADN'T DONE V]Y WELL UNTIL ,MAT!WS CLOS$ D[N4 ,AT ! 5D ( ?AT MON? ,MAT!WS DIDN'T HAVE 5\< MONEY TO PAY ALL HIS BILLS4 ,A FEW MON?S LAT] HE WAS BANKRUPT4 ,HIS D9] WAS AUCTION$ (F40 

0,C\LDN'T ,DEBBIE GET SOME K9D ( JOB80 ,I ASK4 

0,I WAS ) Y\ ONCE :5 WE SAW :AT A /ATE %E WAS 910 ,T9A REM9DS ME4 0,JOSE TOLD ME %E HAD BE5 SOME?+ ( A DRUNK>D EV] S9CE %E'D BE5 ?R[N \T ( H] UNION JOB AFT] ! W>4 ,:5 %E LO/ H] TEA*+ JOB %E WAS DRUNK ALL ! TIME4 ,MAT!WS TRI$ TO GET A FACTORY JOB4 ,HE DID GET SOME L[ PAY+ JOB BUT WAS FIR$ AFT] A FEW WEEKS2 MAYBE IT WAS JU/ A TEMPOR>Y JOB2 ,JOSE NEV] TOLD ME ! DETAILS4 ,:AT ,DEBBIE TOLD ,JOSE WAS ?AT ONE DAY %E HE>D A %OT4 ,%E DRAGG$ H]SELF TO ! BASEM5T4 ,MAT!WS WAS LY+ ON ! FLOOR4 ,HE HAD %OT HIMSELF40 

,LUISA MUTT]S1 ALMO/ TO H]SELF1 0,HE WAS MURD]$ BY HIS [N SON40 

0,OH %IT60 ,SAB9A EXCLAIMS4 

,I OBJECT TOO4 0,?AT WASN'T EXACTLY :AT ,T9A SAID40 

0,I DIDN'T SAY HE %OT HIMSELF BECAUSE HIS NEW C> WAS /OL510 ,T9A EXPLA9S4 0,?AT'S ONLY P>T ( ! REASON --0 

,I ADD1 0,DEBBIE'S DRUNK5NESS MU/ HAVE HAD SOME?+ TO DO ) IT4 ,SEV]AL YE>S E>LI] ,RON HAD TOLD ME H[ BITT] %E'D BE5 AB\T BE+ ?R[N \T ( ! UNION %E'D HELP$ BUILD4 ,I CAN UND]/& :Y %E BROKE D[N :5 ?AT HAPP5$ TO H] A SECOND TIME4 ,I /ILL REMEMB] ! HATR$ ) :I* %E LOOK$ AT ME AT ,RON'S TRIAL BECAUSE %E ?\<T ,I WAS ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS' DAU<T]40 

0,DO Y\ SEE ANY CONNECTIONS YET80 ,SAB9A ASKS ,LUISA4 0,DON'T Y\ KN[ :Y Y\ & ,SOPHIA & ,I GOT \T ( JAIL TWO DAYS AFT] BE+ >RE/$ & :Y \R EMIGRATION WAS SO EASY80 

0,I DON'T SEE :AT ?AT HAS TO DO ) IT40 ,LUISA SAYS4 

0,:Y DO Y\ ?9K HE HAD A JOB WAIT+ = HIM AS WELL AS A H\SE = ! ?REE ( US :5 WE GOT H]E80 ,SAB9A ASKS H]1 IMM$IATELY ANSW]+ H] [N QUE/ION4 0,ALB]TS SAV$ Y\R SK9 BY SELL+ HIS S\L6 ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS WAS ONLY ONE ( HIS VICTIMS4 ,:5 ,DEBBIE FELL %E DROVE ! S9K+ ,TOM ,MAT!WS ALL ! WAY TO ! BOTTOM4 ,Y\ CAME H]E ON ! DEVIL'S PAY1 ,LUISA60 

,LUISA OBJECTS1 0,IF Y\'RE SUGGE/+ ,I WAS IMPLICAT$ 9 ?AT MAN'S SUICIDE Y\'RE COMPLETELY D]ANG$4 ,Y\R REASON+ IS AS DI/ORT$ AS ,Y>O/AN'S40 

0,I'M NOT SUGGE/+ ANY?+10 ,SAB9A SAYS4 0,I'M ONLY /AT+ FACTS40 

0,ALL RI<T1 Y\'VE MADE ?AT PO9T10 ,I CONC$E TO ,SAB9A4 0,BUT Y\ /ILL HAV5'T TOLD ME :AT ,I HAD TO DO ) ,RON'S DEA?40 

0,HAV5'T WE80 %E ASKS4 

0,NO Y\ HAV5'T10 ,I 9SI/4 0,I DON'T KN[ ANY MORE N[ ?AN ,I KNEW ?AT NI<T Y\ CAME TO MY ROOM AT ! UNIV]SITY CO-OP2 Y\ %\T$ ?AT ,I WAS RESPONSIBLE = ,RON'S DEA?10 

0,I DIDN'T %\T10 ,SAB9A SAYS4 0,& ,I SAID Y\ & ,ALB]TS40 

,I GET IMPATI5T 0,W\LD Y\ M9D EXPLA9+ ?AT1 ,SAB9A8 ,I DON'T C>E H[ LONG IT TAKES40 ,NOTIC+ ,LUISA'S PA9$ EXPRESSION1 ,I TELL ,SAB9A1 0,I DON'T C>E :E!R ,LUISA /AYS OR LEAVES4 ,N[ ?AT Y\'VE UNE>!D ! DETAILS ( MY RELATION%IP TO ,RON ,I'D LIKE TO HE> ALL ( IT4 ,& PLEASE DON'T ASK :AT GOOD IT'LL DO TO TELL ME40 

,LUISA LEANS BACK ON ! C\*1 YAWNS & CLOSES H] EYES SO AS TO COMMUNICATE TO ALL ( US ?AT %E'S NOT 9T]E/$ 9 ! DETAILS ( MY RELATIONS ) ,RON4 

0,! DAY BE=E ,I W5T TO SEE Y\ AT ! UNIV]SITY10 ,SAB9A BEG9S1 0,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS %[$ UP AT ,ALB]TS' H\SE4 ,I WAS ALONE ) ,T9A1 ,DEBBIE COLLAPS$ 9TO AN >M*AIR ! MOM5T %E WALK$ 94 ,%E WAS /ONE DRUNK4 ',Y\ HUSSY1' %E TOLD ME2 ',:Y DID Y\ WALK \T ON MY SON :5 HE NE$$ Y\8 ,& :]E'S ?AT FIL?Y FA!R ( Y\RS8 ,:]E'S ?AT SON-(-A-BIT* ,ALB]TS8' ,I ASK$ H] :AT HAD HAPP5$ & :Y %E WANT$ ,ALB]TS4 ,%E SAID1 ',I WANT TO SEE HIS FACE N[ ?AT !Y'VE ?R[N HIS ASS \T ( S*OOL1 ,I WANT TO SEE :AT HE LOOKS LIKE N[ ?AT HE'S GOTT5 :AT HE GAVE ME1 ,I WANT TO ASK HIM IF HE'S HAPPY N[ AB\T HIMSELF & ME2 :]E ! HELL IS ?AT SLIMY BA/>D ?AT CALL$ HIMSELF MY FRI5D & !N CUT ME UP ONE LIMB AT A TIME8' ,I TOLD H] ,ALB]TS WAS WORK+ & ASK$ IF SOME?+ HAD HAPP5$ TO ,RON4 ,%E SAID1 ',HE'S WORK+8 ,HE CAN'T BE WORK+1 DE>Y2 HE'S (F 9 SOME B>2 HE GOT BOOT$ \T LIKE ,I WAS2 HE'S NOT ALL[$ TO WORK2 HE'S A SUBV]SIVE4' ,I DESCRIB$ ! WORK HE WAS DO+ & ,DEBBIE GOT HY/]ICAL4 ',?AT BA/>D IS DO+ RESE>* = ! AIR =CE8' %E ASK$2 !N %E %\T$1 ',?AT L[ UNPR9CIPL$ BA/>D6 ,! AIR =CE6 ,HE'S WORK+ = ! \TFIT ?AT KILL$ MY SON6' ,I HAD BE5 AFRAID ?AT WAS ! NEWS %E'D COME )4 ,%E WORK$ H]SELF UP 9TO A FR5ZY AB\T ! FACT ?AT ,ALB]TS WAS ALREADY EMPLOY$ AGA94 ,%E WALK$ >\ND ! H\SE1 KNOCK$ D[N *AIRS & ?REW BOOKS ON ! FLOOR4 ,%E YELL$1 ',:AT >E Y\ PEOPLE8 ,:O S5T Y\8 ,Y\'RE SOME K9D ( AG5TS4 ,Y\ W]E S5T TO GET RID ( US4 ,WELL KILL ME RI<T H]E1 GET IT OV] )6' ,!N %E COLLAPS$ ON ! FLOOR4 ,I C\LDN'T TELL IF %E WAS ASLEEP OR DEAD4 ,I SET A PILL[ UND] H] HEAD1 PUT A BLANKET OV] H] & RAN TO ! G>AGE4 ,=TUNATELY ,JOSE WAS !RE40 

,T9A TELLS ME1 0,?AT WAS :5 !Y F\ND \T :]E Y\ FIT 9 --0 

0,:AT DO Y\ MEAN80 ,I ASK H]4 

,T9A SAYS1 0,:5 ,JOSE GOT TO KN[ Y\ YE>S LAT] HE (T5 SAID1 ',%E'S AS 9NOC5T AS A BABY ?AT />T$ A FIRE ?AT BURN$ D[N A CITY4'0 

,I BECOME IMPATI5T4 0,T9A1 :AT ! HELL >E Y\ TALK+ AB\T80 

0,JOSE TOLD ME NEV] TO TELL Y\10 ,T9A CLAIMS4 

,SAB9A SAYS TO ,T9A1 0,GO AHEAD & TELL H]2 !RE'S NO?+ LEFT TO TELL %E DOESN'T ALREADY KN[40 

0,JOSE SAID Y\'D HAVE BECOME A COMPLETELY DIFF]5T P]SON IF Y\'D KN[N ! TRU?10 ,T9A TELLS ME4 

,EXASP]AT$1 ,I ASK1 0,! TRU? AB\T :AT8 ,>5'T Y\ CONFUS+ ,JOSE ) ,Y>O/AN80 

0,! TRU? AB\T Y\ & ,RON10 ,T9A SAYS4 0,JOSE (T5 TOLD ME HE W\LDN'T HAVE LIK$ :AT Y\'D HAVE BECOME IF Y\'D KN[N4 ,?AT'S EXACTLY ! OPPOSITE ( :AT ,Y>O/AN SAYS40 

0,T9A1 DON'T PLAY ,SAB9A'S GAMES ) ME60 ,I %\T4 

,T9A CALMLY MUSES1 0,I WOND] IF IT W\LD REALLY HAVE MADE ANY DIFF]5CE IF Y\'D KN[N40 

,I GRAB H] BY ! %\LD]S & %AKE H]1 %\T+1 0,DON'T DANGLE A /R+1 ,T9A6 ,I'M NOT A CAT60 

,T9A %\TS BACK1 0,?AT'S :AT ,JOSE SAID AB\T Y\6 ,Y\ KEPT DANGL+ A /R+ 9 FRONT ( ,RON & HE KEPT JUMP+ AT IT4 ,ONLY Y\ NEV] KNEW Y\ W]E DANGL+ IT40 

,MY PATI5CE WE>S \T4 0,GO TO HELL1 ,T9A6 ,IF ?IS IS ANO!R ONE ( Y\R JOKES Y\ CAN %OVE IT UP Y\R ASS BECAUSE ,I'M GO+ TO SLEEP40 

0,?IS ONE DOESN'T HAVE A FUNNY 5D+1 ,SOPHIA10 %E SAYS4 0,& ,I'D JU/ AS SOON NOT TELL Y\ AB\T IT SO IF Y\ WANT TO GO TO SLEEP ?AT'S F9E ) ME2 ,I'M SLEEPY AS HELL40 

,I PLEAD ) ,T9A1 0,:AT IS IT Y\'D JU/ AS SOON NOT TELL ME80 

0,:AT Y\'VE BE5 ASK+ AB\T = ! PA/ TWO H\RS1 ,SOPHIA6 ,Y\R CONNECTION TO ,RON'S DEA?40 

0,H[ CAN Y\ KN[ ANY?+ AB\T ?AT80 ,I ASK H]4 

0,IT TURN$ \T ?AT ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS WAS ! ONLY ONE :O KNEW ANY?+ AB\T IT4 ,:5 %E TOLD ,JOSE & ,SAB9A ALL !Y C\LD SAY WAS ,MY ,GOD60 

,I TURN TO ,SAB9A4 0,Y\ NEV] BREA!D A WORD TO ME AB\T :AT ,DEBBIE TOLD Y\60 

,SAB9A SAYS1 0,I TOLD Y\ EV]Y?+ ?AT NI<T :5 ,I VISIT$ Y\ AT ! CO-OP4 ,Y\ DIDN'T ASK ME TO GO 9TO DETAILS & 9 ANY CASE IT WAS TOO LATE TO DO ANY?+ AB\T IT40 

,T9A ADDS1 0,RON WAS ALREADY DEAD40 

0,ALL Y\ TOLD ME WAS ?AT ,I WAS RESPONSIBLE = ,RON'S DEA?10 ,I SAY AGA94 ,?IS TIME IT'S ,T9A :O SAYS1 0,Y\ & ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS40 ,%E CONT9UES4 0,?AT WAS REALLY A V]Y COMPLETE SUMM>Y4 ,& IF IT WAS TOO LATE TO TELL Y\ ! DETAILS !N1 IT'S WAY TOO LATE N[6 ,I HAVE TO BE AT WORK 9 F\R H\RS & WE %\LD C>RY ,LUISA TO A B$40 

0,DON'T WORRY AB\T ,LUISA10 ,I 9SI/4 0,NO?+ WAKES H] ONCE %E'S ASLEEP4 ,PLEASE1 ,T9A1 ,I WANT TO HE> ?OSE DETAILS N[4 ,GO TO SLEEP ON Y\R JOB40 

0,DON'T KEEP REPEAT+ ?AT ,SAB9A TOLD Y\ ?AT Y\ W]E RESPONSIBLE = ,RON'S DEA?10 ,T9A TELLS ME4 0,ALB]TS' ROLE WAS MU* MORE IMPORTANT TO ,SAB9A ?AN Y\RS4 ,WE W]E /ILL LIV+ 9 HIS H\SE :5 %E LE>N$ AB\T IT4 ,DIDN'T Y\ KN[ :AT ,SAB9A ?\<T ( ,ALB]TS !N80 

,SAB9A ASKS ,T9A1 0,W\LD Y\ M9D LEAV+ ?AT \T80 

0,IF ,I'M GO+ TO LOSE MY NI<T'S SLEEP TELL+ H]10 ,T9A SAYS1 0,I'LL AT LEA/ TELL H] EV]Y?+ ,I KN[4 ,I'M SURE %E'LL NEV] LE>N ?AT P>T FROM Y\40 ,T9A TURNS T[>D ME4 0,JOSE TOLD ME HE & ,SAB9A W]E BO? /UNN$ :5 !Y HE>D :AT ,DEBBIE HAD TO SAY BUT !Y W]E /UNN$ = DIFF]5T REASONS4 ,EV]Y TIME ,JOSE SAID ,MY GOD6 BECAUSE ( SOME?+ ,DEBBIE SAID AB\T Y\1 ,SAB9A SAID IT BECAUSE ( SOME?+ %E SAID AB\T ,ALB]TS4 ,SAB9A DIDN'T TELL Y\ AB\T Y\R ROLE BECAUSE ?AT WASN'T :AT MATT]$ TO H] & %E HAD 9 ANY CASE LE>N$ MO/ ( ?AT BE=E1 FROM ,RON4 ,:AT MATT]$ TO H] WAS :AT %E LE>N$ AB\T H] LIFE'S H]O4 ,ALL ?AT MA? & PHYSICS %E HAD LE>N$ FROM HIM EV] S9CE %E WAS A LITTLE GIRL1 ALL ?OSE LABORATORY EXP]IM5TS :I* %E ?\<T REVEAL$ ! SECRETS ( ! UNIV]SE -- %E HADN'T EV] CONNECT$ ANY ( ?AT ) ! SLAU<T] ( ?\S&S ( HUMAN BE+S4 ,DEBBIE UPROOT$ ALL ( ,SAB9A'S ADMIRATION = ,ALB]TS2 %E GAVE ,SAB9A A PICTURE ( A COLD-BLOOD$ MURD]] ( ?\S&S & MAYBE EV5 MILLIONS ( PEOPLE4 ,& NOT ONLY A MURD]]1 BUT ! WOR/ K9D1 ! ONE :O DOESN'T KILL A S+LE OPPON5T 9 FACE-TO-FACE COMBAT BUT :O EXT]M9ATES UNSE5 VICTIMS FROM ! SAFETY ( HIS LABORATORY4 ,SAB9A W5T COMPLETELY WILD4 ,%E LEFT ,JOSE AT ,DEBBIE'S & RAN TO ,ALB]TS' H\SE4 ,%E COMPLETELY DE/ROY$ ! LAB HE'D BUILT = H] ON ! SECOND FLOOR4 ,%E TOOK ALL ! BOOKS HE'D EV] GIV5 H] & ?REW !M 9TO ! 9C9]ATOR4 ,%E BURN$ ALL H] CLO!S1 ALL ( M9E1 ALL MY TOYS1 EV]Y?+4 ,! CLO!S %E WAS WE>+ W]E ! ONLY ?+S %E TOOK ) H]4 ,%E'D EV5 HAVE BURN$ HIS H\SE --0 

0,MY GOD60 ,I EXCLAIM4 

0,SAB9A BLURT$ IT ALL \T ONCE1 YE>S LAT]1 ONLY BECAUSE %E WAS COMPLETELY /ON$4 ,! DAY AFT] %E TOLD US %E TRI$ TO CONV9CE US %E'D LI$ TO US4 ,%E NEV] AGA9 GOT /ON$ AFT] ?AT4 ,JOSE DIDN'T KN[ ANY ( ?IS HAD HAPP5$ AT ! TIME3 HE ONLY KNEW ?AT ,SAB9A HAD DECID$ TO MOVE 9TO ! G>AGE ) HIM1 ,T$ & ,TISSIE4 ,%E HASN'T ONCE SE5 ,ALB]TS S9CE !N1 ,SAB9A WAS CALM] ! DAY AFT] %E MOV$ \T ( ,ALB]TS' H\SE1 :5 %E VISIT$ Y\4 ,%E W5T TO TELL Y\ ,RON WAS DEAD & ?AT WAS ALL %E 9T5D$ TO TELL Y\4 ,%E ?\<T Y\ \<T TO KN[4 ,%E PROBABLY HADN'T PAID MU* ATT5TION TO :AT ,DEBBIE HAD SAID AB\T Y\4 ,IT WAS ,JOSE :O HE>D ?AT40 

,I BEG ,T9A4 0,W\LD Y\ M9D BE+ A LITTLE MORE COH]5T8 ,I KN[ Y\ CAN DO IT40 

,T9A IS (F5D$4 0,Y\ DON'T HAVE TO BE S>CA/IC6 ,?IS IS ! FIR/ TIME ,I'VE EV] PIEC$ ! :OLE /ORY TOGE!R FROM ! BITS & SNAT*ES DROPP$ BY Y\1 ,SAB9A & ,JOSE4 ,I'VE NEV] BE=E REALIZ$ :AT ALL ?OSE PIECES ADD$ UP TO40 

,I TRY TO APOLOGIZE1 0,I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE S>CA/IC2 ,I GOT LO/1 ?AT'S ALL40 

,T9A TURNS TO ,SAB9A & ASKS4 0,:Y DON'T Y\ TELL H]8 ,Y\ W]E !RE TOO4 ,I ONLY KN[ !SE ?+S AT SECOND H&40 

,SAB9A SAYS1 0,JU/ Y\ GO AHEAD1 ,T9A1 Y\'RE DO+ F9E40 

0,DON'T Y\ BE S>CA/IC TOO10 ,T9A TELLS H]4 0,I'M SORRY IT'S SO CONFUS+1 ,SOPHIA4 ,IT'S AWFULLY LATE4 ,:Y DON'T Y\ GET ,SAB9A TO TELL Y\ !SE ?+S SOME O!R TIME80 

,I OBJECT4 0,Y\ TOLD ME ?OSE W]E PRECISELY ! ?+S ?AT DIDN'T MATT] TO H]4 ,BESIDES1 ,I WANT TO HE> IT N[ & FROM Y\4 ,SAB9A W\LD ONLY CONFUSE ME EV5 MORE40 

,T9A SAYS1 0,I'LL TRY TO TELL IT 9 ORD]4 ,SAB9A ALREADY TOLD Y\ ,DEBBIE HAD GONE TO LOOK = ,ALB]TS4 ,?AT HAPP5$ ! DAY BE=E ,SAB9A VISIT$ Y\ AT ! UNIV]SITY CO-OP4 ,DEBBIE WAS DRUNK & COLLAPS$ ON ! C\*4 ,SAB9A RAN TO GET ,JOSE4 ,%E WANT$ TO GET ,DEBBIE \T ( ,ALB]TS' H\SE BE=E HE RETURN$4 ,%E C\LDN'T DO ?AT ALONE4 ,%E GOT ,JOSE TO HELP H] DRAG ,DEBBIE TO ,JOSE'S C> & DRIVE H] HOME4 ,!Y BO? SAT BY H] B$ :ILE %E SLEPT = SEV]AL H\RS4 ,%E WAS RELATIVELY SOB] :5 %E WOKE UP2 ,JOSE GAVE H] C(FEE4 ,PO9T+ H] F+] AT ,SAB9A1 ,DEBBIE SAID TO ,JOSE3 ',KEEP AWAY FROM ?AT SNAKE1 KID4 ,%E'LL /AB Y\ 9 ! BACK4' ,JOSE ASK$ :AT ,SAB9A HAD DONE4 ,?AT'S :5 ,DEBBIE BLURT$ \T ! :OLE /ORY4 ,H] F+] HADN'T BE5 PO9T$ AT ,SAB9A BUT AT Y\40 

,I />T TO FEEL SICK4 

,T9A CONT9UES1 0,%E ?\<T ,SAB9A WAS ! GIRL ,TOM ,MAT!WS HAD TRI$ TO %OOT ?AT NI<T ,RON TRI$ TO TAKE Y\ TO HIS ROOM --0 

0,%E DIDN'T SEE ME ?AT NI<T2 ,DEBBIE & ,I DIDN'T MEET UNTIL ,RON'S TRIAL10 ,I TELL ,T9A4 0,BUT ,LEM 9TRODUC$ ME TO H] AT ! TRIAL2 %E C\LDN'T HAVE ?\<T ,SAB9A & ,I W]E ! SAME P]SON S9CE WE W]E BO? AT ! TRIAL40 

0,%E DIDN'T KN[ Y\ HAD ANY?+ TO DO ) ,RON :5 %E SAW Y\ AT ! TRIAL10 ,T9A TELLS ME4 

0,:AT /ORY DID %E BLURT \T80 ,I ASK ,T9A4 

0,:5 ,JOSE ASK$ H] :AT %E HAD AGA9/ ,SAB9A1 ,DEBBIE SAID %E'D VISIT$ ,RON 9 RE=M S*OOL AFT] ! TRIAL4 ,RON TOLD H] ?AT AS SOON AS HE GOT \T HE'D GET EV5 ) ,MAT!WS4 ,DEBBIE SAID %E DIDN'T BLAME ,RON BECAUSE ,TOM ,MAT!WS WAS A BA/>D :O'D JAIL$ HIS [N SON4 ,RON TOLD H] HE WASN'T GO+ TO GET EV5 ) HIM AB\T ?AT2 HE HAD EXPECT$ ?AT4 ,HE WANT$ TO GET EV5 ) ,MAT!WS = BREAK+ UP ,RON'S RELATION%IP ) HIS GIRL4 ,RON TOLD ,DEBBIE ?AT :5 ,MAT!WS TRI$ TO %OOT Y\ HE HAD SC>$ ! %IT \T ( Y\ & Y\ HAD *ANG$ AS A RESULT1 Y\ HAD BECOME AFRAID ( ,RON40 

0,IF ,RON SAID ?AT HE WAS LY+ TO HIMSELF10 ,I TELL ,T9A4 0,\R RELATION%IP WAS ALREADY OV] :5 ,MAT!WS ?REAT5$ US ) HIS GUN4 ,RON MET ,SAB9A ! V]Y NEXT DAY --0 

,SAB9A1 TRY+ TO IMITATE ,RON1 SAYS1 0,OH %IT4 ,SAB9A1 Y\ KN[ IT'S ,SOPHIE ,I WANT1 BUT %E ?9KS ,I'M SOMEONE ELSE1 SOMEONE %E MU/ HAVE KN[N SOMEPLACE ELSE --0 

0,:5 DID HE TELL Y\ ?AT80 ,I ASK ,SAB9A4 

0,A WEEK AFT] HE MOV$ 9 ) ME10 %E SAYS4 

0,SO SOON AFT] ! C> WRECK60 ,I EXCLAIM4 ,I TURN TO ,T9A & ASK H]1 0,IS ?AT TRUE80 

0,N[ H[ 9 ! WORLD W\LD ,I KN[ ?AT1 ,SOPHIA80 

0,Y\ SEEM TO KN[ EV]Y?+ ELSE60 

,T9A SAYS1 0,I KN[ ?AT :5 ,SAB9A & ,JOSE GOT ,RON ! DAY HE WAS RELEAS$ FROM RE=M S*OOL --0 

,I 9T]RUPT1 0,HE ASK$ :Y ,I WASN'T !RE4 ,I ALREADY KN[ ?AT40 

,SAB9A SAYS1 0,RI<T AFT] HIS RELEASE FROM RE=M S*OOL --0 

0 -- Y\ & ,RON GOT ME UP AT MIDNI<T10 ,I 9T]RUPT AGA94 0,RON WAS AS TALKATIVE AS A MUMMY40 

0,HE TALK$ TO Y\10 ,SAB9A SAYS4 

0,Y\ MEAN AT ! BEG9N+80 ,I ASK4 0,I TRI$ TO JOKE ) HIM40 

0,:AT DID Y\ SAY80 ,SAB9A ASKS4 

0,JU/ TRIVIALITIES1 0 ,I SAY4 0,I REM9D$ HIM ( \R FIR/ MEET+40 

0,Y\R WORDS80 %E ASKS4 

0,I SAID ,I'D MEET HIM ANY TIME10 ,I ADMIT4 

0,Y\ SAID ?AT TO HIM80 ,T9A ASKS4 0,JOSE WAS RI<T6 ,Y\ REALLY DID DANGLE A /R+ 9 FRONT ( HIM4 ,JOSE SAID ?AT BE=E & AFT] !Y DROVE (F ) ,MAT!WS' C> ,RON KEPT MUMBL+1 ',%E'LL MEET ME ANY TIME4'0 

0,I C\LDN'T HAVE JO9$ HIM 9 ! AIR =CE60 ,I EXCLAIM4 

0,RON DIDN'T MEAN ! AIR =CE10 ,T9A TELLS ME4 0,HE ?\<T ! G>AGE IDEA W\LD APPEAL TO Y\4 ,IF IT DIDN'T HE WAS READY TO LEAVE ! CITY ) Y\ AFT] ,MAT!WS' C> WAS /OL540 

0,LEAVE & DO :AT80 ,I ASK4 

0,GO TRAVEL+1 /EAL+ & CAMP+1 ,I SUPPOSE10 %E SAYS4 

0,HE WAS CRAZY6 ,I'D NEV] HAVE AGRE$ TO ?AT60 ,I EXCLAIM4 

,T9A SAYS1 0,?AT'S :AT ,SAB9A TOLD ,RON4 ,%E TOLD HIM HE WAS CRAZY1 ?AT Y\ W]E SET ON BECOM+ A PR(ESSOR40 

,I BITE MY LIP UNTIL IT BLE$S4 ,W\LD ,I HAVE JO9$ ,RON IF ,I HAD KN[N8 

0,SAB9A TOLD ,RON Y\'D GLADLY MEET HIM ANY TIME BUT NOT ANY PLACE2 %E TOLD HIM Y\'D MEET HIM 9 COLLEGE10 ,T9A ADDS4 0,& ,RON MU/ HAVE KN[N ,SAB9A WAS RI<T4 ,?AT'S :Y HE JO9$ ! AIR =CE40 

0,:AT DO Y\ MEAN1 '?AT'S :Y HE JO9$ ! AIR =CE'80 ,I ASK H]4 0,C\LDN'T HE HAVE DONE ?\S&S ( O!R ?+S8 ,DID HE HAVE TO BECOME A KILL] = ! /ATE80 

0,MAYBE HE ?\<T HE'D COMMUNICATE SOME?+ TO Y\ BY DO+ ?AT10 ,T9A SAYS4 

0,>E Y\ SUGGE/+ HE JO9$ ! AIR =CE BECAUSE HE KNEW ,I'D HATE HIM = IT80 ,I ASK H]4 

0,I DON'T KN[10 %E ANSW]S2 0,ASK ,SAB9A40 

,SAB9A SAYS1 0,REV5GE WAS ALWAYS IMPORTANT TO HIM40 

,T9A CONT9UES1 0,I WAS TELL+ Y\ :AT ,DEBBIE TOLD ,JOSE AFT] HE ASK$ H] :AT %E HAD AGA9/ ,SAB9A4 ,%E TOLD AB\T H] CONV]SATION ) ,RON 9 RE=M S*OOL4 ,!N %E GOT \T ( B$ & %[$ ,JOSE A LETT] %E HAD GOTT5 FROM ,RON ONLY A FEW MON?S BE=E HE WAS KILL$4 ,JOSE KEPT ! LETT]4 ,ONCE ,I SAW HIM READ+ IT & CRY+4 ,I SAW ! LETT]4 ,IT SAID1 ',DE> MOM1 ,I DIDN'T WANT Y\ TO ?9K ,I CAME \T H]E BECAUSE ( Y\1 OR EV5 BECAUSE ( ! OLD MAN4 ,ALL ?AT GOT BALANC$ \T4 ,I CAME \T H]E TO BALANCE \T SOME O!R ?+S ?AT HAD NO?+ TO DO ) Y\4 ,BUT ,I CAN'T GO ?R\< ) :AT !Y'RE DO+ \T H]E4 ,Y\R LOV+ SON1 ,RON4'0 

0,HE DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF60 ,I EXCLAIM4 

0,SEV]AL MON?S LAT] ,DEBBIE WAS 9=M$ ?AT HE WAS MISS+ 9 ACTION10 ,T9A TELLS ME4 

0,:Y80 ,I ASK4 

0,DO Y\ WANT ME TO REPEAT HIS LETT]80 ,T9A ASKS4 0,I KN[ IT BY HE>T40 

0,I DON'T UND]/&60 

0,DO Y\ WANT TO80 %E ASKS4 

,NO1 ,I SUPPOSE ,I DON'T WANT TO UND]/& ?AT ,RON KILL$ HIMSELF BECAUSE ,I WAS W$D$ TO MY PA/ EXP]I5CE1 TO Y\4 TO P$AGOGY1 TO EV]Y?+ Y\ N[ DISMISS AS ILLUSIONS4 ,W\LD IT REALLY HAVE MADE ANY DIFF]5CE IF ,I'D KN[N ?AT ,I C\LD HAVE SAV$ ,RON'S LIFE BY CEAS+ TO BE :AT ,I WAS8 ,I DIDN'T ANSW] ,T9A'S QUE/ION4 

,IT WAS MORN+ :5 \R DISCUSSION 5D$4 ,T9A & ,LUISA W5T TO WORK4 ,SAB9A & ,I W5T TO SLEEP4 ,I GOT UP 9 TIME TO GO TO MY EV5+ CLASS4 ,WE HAV5'T DISCUSS$ ! SUBJECT S9CE4 ,\R LIVES HAVE REV]T$ TO NORMAL4 ,I /ILL CAN'T ANSW] ,T9A'S QUE/ION4 ,CAN Y\8 ,IT WAS Y\R LETT] ?AT GAVE RISE TO ?AT SY/EMATIC DISSECTION ( MY LIFE'S *OICES4 ,Y\R LETT] MAKES IT ALL S\ND SO SIMPLE4 ,9 Y\R VIEW ,I C\LD HAVE *OS5 TO BE A G5U9E REBEL LIKE ,RON & 9/EAD ,I *OSE TO MAKE MYSELF A P$AGOGUE4 ,BY *OOS+ :AT ,I DID1 ,I L$ ,RON TO COMMIT SUICIDE4 

,BUT IS IT REALLY SO SIMPLE8 ,APP>5TLY EV5 ,RON C\LDN'T PUT ALL ! BLAME ON ME4 ,HE TRI$ TO BLAME ,TOM ,MAT!WS = CREAT+ ! GAP BETWE5 US4 ,HE TRI$ TO CONV9CE HIMSELF ?AT IF ,MAT!WS HADN'T TRI$ TO %OOT ME ,I W\LD HAVE BE5 DELI<T$ TO %>E HIS 9DIVIDUAL ACTS ( REBELLION :ILE WE TRAVEL$1 /OLE & CAMP$4 ,YET ,RON KNEW P]FECTLY WELL ?AT MY FE> ( HIS FA!R WASN'T :AT SEP>AT$ ME FROM ,RON4 ,IF HE PLAC$ ! BLAME ON ,TOM ,MAT!WS IT WAS BECAUSE HE KNEW ?AT ! BLAME LAY SOME:]E \TSIDE ( ME4 ,HE KNEW ?AT ,I C\LDN'T HAVE GONE /EAL+ & CAMP+ ) HIM1 ?AT \R LIFE TOGE!R W\LD HAVE BE5 A MIS]ABLE ATTEMPT TO ADAPT TO ! M>G9S ( SOCIETY4 ,HE MU/ HAVE KN[N ?AT HE DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF BECAUSE ( ME BUT BECAUSE !RE WAS NO ROOM 9 ?IS SOCIETY = SOMEONE LIKE ,RON4 ,HE WAS A ROMANTIC ) AN UNATTA9ABLE GOAL4 ,HE MADE ME ! SYMBOL ( ! GOAL4 ,HE BECAME AW>E ?AT HE W\LD NEV] REA* ?AT GOAL4 ,?AT WAS :Y HE COMMITT$ SUICIDE4 

,:AT WAS HIS GOAL8 ,MAYBE IT WAS ! GOAL ( A G5U9E REBEL3 TO LIVE FREELY1 REJECT+ ! CON/RA9TS ( SOCIETY4 ,BUT Y\ KN[ P]FECTLY WELL ?AT ?IS GOAL CAN ONLY BE REALIZ$ BY ALL HUMAN BE+S AT ONCE1 OR BY NONE4 ,IT CAN'T BE REA*$ BY AN 9DIVIDUAL4 ,:AT Y\ CALL 9DIVIDUAL ACTS ( REBELLION QUICKLY TURN 9TO !IR OPPOSITES4 ,9DIVIDUAL !FTS >5'T ACTS ( REBELLION BUT =MS ( ADAPTATION TO PRIVATE PROP]TY4 ,IF Y\ ?\<T !Y W]E MORE ?AN ?AT :Y DIDN'T Y\ /EAL & HIDE :5 Y\ W]E FIR/ RELEAS$ FROM PRISON1 :Y DID Y\ LOOK UP ! ,S$LAKS1 :Y DID Y\ GET A JOB8 ,:5 WORK]S APPROPRIATE ! PRODUCTIVE =CES1 !Y DON'T /EAL !M FROM =M] [N]S BUT TAKE :AT'S !IRS3 ! =M] [N]S >E ! ?IEVES4 ,BY /EAL+ WE ACCEPT ! LEGITIMACY ( ! [N]S & BY FLEE+ WE ACCEPT ! LEGITIMACY ( ! >M$ =CE ) :I* !Y PROTECT !IR [N]%IP4 

,IT'S EASY TO ROMANTICIZE ,RON PRECISELY BECAUSE HE WAS SU* A ROMANTIC4 ,BUT ! DAILY REALITY ISN'T ROMANTIC AT ALL4 ,Y\ WAIT = Y\R *ANCE & Y\ P\NCE4 ,?AT'S /IMULAT+ BECAUSE IT'S A D>E1 A *ALL5GE4 ,IF Y\ >5'T ?R[N 9TO JAIL IT'S A VICTORY4 ,!N Y\ WAIT = ANO!R *ANCE4 ,?IS TIME ,RON MI<T HAVE TO TAKE AN 5ORM\S RISK1 NEXT TIME HE MI<T HAVE TO S5D ME \T AS A LURE4 ,SAB9A CAN TELL Y\ ALL AB\T ! *ANCES Y\ TAKE4 ,& AT ?AT PO9T WE'RE RI<T BACK :]E WE />T$ BE=E WE RAIS$ ! QUE/ION ( REBELLION4 ,AT ?AT PO9T WE'RE RI<T BACK TO ! /UD5TS 9 MY 0COMMUNITY COLLEGE0 CLASS3 !Y NO LONG] WANT TO SELL !MSELVES AS M]E WORK]S1 NAMELY AS L[-QUALITY M]*&ISE1 & TO DEAL ) ?AT PROBLEM !Y'RE REPAIR+ & PA9T+ !MSELVES SO AS TO SELL !MSELVES AT A HI<] PRICE4 ,AT ?AT PO9T WE'RE BACK TO ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS1 :OSE *OICES NEV] 5T]$ )9 MY SPECTRUM1 :OSE LIFE ,I'VE ALWAYS REG>D$ AS ! OPPOSITE ( :AT ,I WANT$ M9E TO BE4 

,Y\1 ,SAB9A & ,T9A HAVE =C$ ME TO REEXAM9E MY PA/4 ,I /ILL EMBRACE MY [N *OICE4 ,CALL IT P$AGOGY IF Y\ LIKE4 ,BUT PLEASE DON'T CALL IT POLITICS4 ,IF ,M>C & ,ADRIAN >E SUCCESSFUL POLITICIANS N[ IT'S NOT BECAUSE !Y REALIZ$ ! ASPIRATIONS WE ONCE %>$ BUT BECAUSE !Y BETRAY$ ?OSE ASPIRATIONS4 ,I WAS SURPRIS$ & DISAPPO9T$ TO LE>N AB\T !M4 ,I CAN'T QUITE BELIEVE !Y W]E CAPABLE ( SU* A TURNAB\T4 ,BUT Y\ CAN'T USE !M AS PRO( ?AT EV]Y 0P$AGOGICAL0 REBEL ASPIRES TO A GOV]NM5T PO/4 ,( ! FRI5DS ,I MADE ON ! COLLEGE NEWSPAP]1 EV]Y S+LE ONE REMA9$ SOME K9D ( SOCIAL \TCA/ & REBEL = AS LONG AS ,I KEPT TRACK ( !M4 ,AT MO/ Y\ CAN SAY WE W]E LUDICR\S ,DON ,QUIXOTES1 ?AT \R P5S & TYPEWRIT]S W]E RIDICUL\SLY 9ADEQUATE WEAPONS ) :I* TO FI<T ! BATTLES WE ?REW \RSELVES 9TO4 ,BUT ! GIANTS WE CONFRONT$ W]E REAL4 ,WE TRI$ TO COPE ) SOME SOCIALLY MEAN+FUL REALITY4 ,AMONG ! ALT]NATIVES AVAILABLE TO ME1 ONLY ! ONE ,I *OSE 5ABL$ ME TO 5GAGE 9 ACTIVITY 9 ANY WAY SIMIL> TO ! /RIKE Y\'VE LU/ EXP]I5C$ 9 ! PLANT :]E ,I FIR/ LE>N$ AB\T SU* ACTIVITY4 

,PLEASE TELL ME MORE AB\T Y\RSELF & ! EXCIT+ EV5TS >\ND Y\1 & LESS AB\T ME4 

,& DO1 PLEASE1 GIVE ,JASNA MY GREET+S1 & ,LUISA'S AS WELL4  
  

,LOVE1  

,SOPHIA4  

,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #aige 3 ,SOPHIA'S ,?IRD ,LETT] -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,APRIL #b#f1 #bb 3 ,SOPHIA'S ,?IRD ,LETT] -- ,ADD$4 

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