,SOPHIA'S ,F\R? ,LETT] 

#aigfaigf 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,FR$Y ,P]LMAN 

,TEXT 3 

,SOPHIA'S F\R? LETT] 

  
  

,DE> ,Y>O/AN1  
  

,SO MU* HAS HAPP5$ S9CE ,I S5T Y\ MY LA/ LETT] & MO/ ( IT HAS CONFIRM$ Y\R /ATEM5T ?AT Y\ & ,I LIVE 9 COMPLETELY DIFF]5T WORLDS4 ,I HAVE NO IDEA :AT PLACE Y\ W\LD OCCUPY 9 MY WORLD & Y\ CAN'T KN[ :AT PLACE ,I'D OCCUPY 9 Y\RS4 ,IT C]TA9LY W\LDN'T BE ! PLACE Y\ ASSIGN ME6 

,I ADMIT ,I WAS %OCK$ BY :AT ,JASNA TOLD AB\T ! PEOPLE ,I'VE REG>D$ AS MY COMRADES4 ,I WAS P>TICUL>LY %OCK$ BY ! RU?LESSNESS & 9HUMANITY ) :I* ,M>C & ,V]A ATTA9$ !IR BUREAUCRATIC GOALS4 ,BUT ,I DON'T HAVE EV5 A %R$ ( SYMPA?Y = ! PA? !Y TOOK4 ,NO?+ 9 ME C\LD HAVE ACCEPT$1 OR EV5 DRIFT$ 94 ! DIRECTION 9 :I* !Y MOV$4 ,Y\R *>ACT]IZATION ( ME FAILS4 ,I DIDN'T ID5TIFY ) ,M>C1 ,V]A OR ,ADRIAN & ,I OBVI\SLY DIDN'T ID5TIFY ) ,CLAUDE4 ,IF ,I ID5TIFI$ ) ANYONE 9 ,JASNA'S OR Y\R N>RATIVE IT WAS ) ,JASNA H]SELF &1 MU* AS Y\ HATE MY SAY+ IT4 ) Y\4 ,I ID5TIFI$ ) Y\1 ,Y>O/AN1 NOT BECAUSE MY LIFE WAS ANY?+ LIKE Y\RS BUT BECAUSE ,I WI% IT HAD BE51 P>TICUL>LY RI<T N[4 ,I'M G5U9ELY OV]JOY$ ?AT Y\'RE F9D+ 9 Y\R PRES5T LIFE EV]Y?+ ,I S\<T BUT NEV] F\ND ?R\<\T MY LIFE3 A REAL & SIGNIFICANT PROJECT ) PEOPLE :O >E ALIVE & WANT TO BE4 ,I CAME CLOSE TO ?AT K9D ( ACTIVITY ONLY ONCE & Y\'VE JU/ AB\T CONV9C$ ME ?AT ,I WASN'T CLOSE TO IT EV5 !N4 ,S9CE !N ,I'VE COME NO CLOS] ?AN A C>ICATURE COMES TO AN ORIG9AL EV5T4 ,MY EXP]I5CES DUR+ ! PA/ TWO WEEKS HAVE BE5 SU* C>ICATURES ( ! EXP]I5CES ,I'VE LONG$ =4 

,TWO WEEKS AGO !RE WAS A DEMON/RATION AT ! UNIV]SITY :]E ,DAMAN ,HESP] TEA*ES4 ,DAMAN WAS MY FRI5D DUR+ MY /UD5T DAYS2 WE W]E ON ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] /AFF TOGE!R4 ,HE'S ! P]SON :O HELP$ ME F9D MY PRES5T TEA*+ JOB4 ,AT ! DEMON/RATION1 AB\T A HUNDR$ /UD5TS B>RICAD$ !MSELVES 9TO ! UNIV]SITY ADM9I/RATION BUILD+ & ANN\NC$ !Y W\LDN'T LEAVE UNTIL ! UNIV]SITY ACCEPT$ A LONG LI/ ( DEM&S4 ,! UNIV]SITY PRESID5T ANN\NC$ ?AT IF ! /UD5TS DIDN'T LEAVE ! BUILD+ IMM$IATELY1 HE W\LD CALL ON ! POLICE TO EVICT !M BY =CE4 ,9 RESPONSE TO ?IS ANN\NCEM5T SEV]AL HUNDR$ /UD5TS & TEA*+ ASSI/ANTS PLANT$ !MSELVES 9 FRONT ( ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+ TO ACT AS A K9D ( 0BUFF]0 BETWE5 ! POLICE & ! OCCUPY+ /UD5TS4 ,ONLY ONE PR(ESSOR WAS AMONG HOSE 9 FRONT ( ! BUILD+3 ,DAMAN ,HESP]4 ,?AT EV5+ ! POLICE ATTACK$4 ,ACCORD+ TO ,DAMAN IT WAS MORE LIKE AN 9VAD+ >MY4 ,! POLICE1 :O F> \TNUMB]$ ! PEOPLE 9SIDE AS WELL AS \TSIDE ! BUILD+1 SIMPLY PU%$ !IR WAY 9TO ! BUILD+4 ,!Y >RE/$ ALL ! /UD5TS 9SIDE AS WELL AS MO/ ( ! PEOPLE \TSIDE1 9CLUD+ ,DAMAN1 :OM !Y BEAT4 ,DAMAN CALL$ ME ?AT NI<T & TOLD ME TO BE READY ) BAIL MONEY 9 ! MORN+4 ,I W5T TO JAIL ! FOLL[+ MORN+ BUT HE WAS ALREADY \T4 ,EV]YONE HAD4 BE5 RELEAS$4 ,DAMAN HAD AN UGLY CUT ACROSS HIS FACE4 ,WE CAME TO MY H\SE BY TAXI & ,I CALL$ A DOCTOR4 

,DAMAN IS REALLY ! ONLY GOOD FRI5D ,I HAVE N[ EXCEPT = MY TWO H\SEMATES4 ,HE'S ! ONLY ONE ( ! PEOPLE ) :OM ,I WORK$ ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF :OM ,I /ILL SEE4 ,SAB9A HAS AN 9T5SE DISLIKE = HIM & ,T9A DOESN'T ?9K A :OLE LOT ( HIM EI!R4 ,MY [N RESPECT = HIM W5T D[N CONSID]ABLY DUR+ ! PA/ TWO WEEKS & Y\R LETT] HAD A LOT TO DO ) ?IS4 ,I ?9K ?AT )\T ! OBS]VATIONS Y\ MADE ,I W\LDN'T HAVE BE5 SO CRITICAL ( ! ROLE ,DAMAN PLAY$ 9 ! EV5TS ?AT FOLL[$ ?AT DEMON/RATION4 

,A WEEK AGO ,DAMAN CAME TO ! H\SE TO TELL ME SEV]AL /UD5TS W]E GO+ TO CALL = A /RIKE TO PROTE/ AGA9/ ! POLICE REPRESSION ( ! /UD5TS :O HAD OCCUPI$ ! BUILD+4 ,HE BR\<T ME SEV]AL COPIES ( A LEAFLET !Y HAD PREP>$ ANN\NC+ A /UD5T G5]AL /RIKE4 ,I ?\<T IT WAS A GOOD LEAFLET4 ,IT DIDN'T ONLY ATTACK ! REPRESSION ( ! /UD5T DEMON/RATORS BUT ALSO RAIS$ QUE/IONS AB\T ! UNIV]SITY'S 9VOLVEM5T 9 WEAPONS DEVELOPM5T & W> /RATEGY1 QUE/IONS AB\T ! UGLY RELATION%IP BETWE5 ! UNIV]SITY & ! WORK+ CLASS COMMUNITY ?AT SURR\NDS IT & QUE/IONS AB\T ! $UCATION ITSELF1 AB\T ITS AU?ORIT>IAN =M & ITS APOLOGETIC CONT5T4 

,AL?\< ,I'M NO LONG] CONNECT$ TO ! UNIV]SITY1 ,I DECID$ TO TAKE P>T 9 ! /RIKE4 ,I BECAME V]Y EXCIT$ ?9K+ ,I W\LD BE 9VOLV$ 9 ACTIVITY ?AT 9 SOME WAY RESEMBL$ ! /RIKE Y\ DESCRIB$ 9 Y\R PREVI\S LETT]1 I WAS 9T5SELY DISAPPO9T$4 ,! EV5T RESEMBL$ A /RIKE ONLY 9 NAME4 

,! DAY AFT] ,DAMAN'S VISIT ,I W5T TO MY JOB AT ! COMMUNITY COLLEGE4 ,S9CE ! LEAFLET WASN'T ADDRESS$ ONLY TO /UD5TS ( ! UNIV]SITY BUT TO ALL /UD5TS & WAS A CALL = A G5]AL /RIKE1 ,I READ IT TO MY CLASS4 ,I ALSO ANN\NC$ ?AT ,I WASN'T A /RIKEBREAK] & W\LDN'T COME TO CLASS ON ! DAY ( ! /RIKE4 ,?IS WAS PROBABLY ! LONGE/ LECTURE ,I HAD GIV5 9 MY CLASS4 ,NOT A S+LE ONE ( ! 0/UD5TS0 EXPRESS$ ! SLI<TE/ SYMPA?Y = ! LEAFLET1 = ! COM+ /RIKE OR = ME4 ,MO/ ( !M W]E COMPLETELY 9DIFF]5T & SOME W]E ACTUALLY HO/ILE4 ,ONE P]SON CRITICIZ$ ! /UD5TS :O HAD OCCUPI$ ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+ BECAUSE !Y HAD 0ILLEGALLY TRESPASS$ ON PRIVATE PROP]TY40 ,:AT WAS MORE UPSETT+ TO ME WAS ?AT ,I WAS ! ONLY ONE :O LAU<$ :5 HE SAID ?IS4 ,I %\LD REM9D Y\ ?AT ! PEOPLE 9 MY CLASS AX WORK]S1 !Y HAV5'T YET REA*$ ! MANAG]IAL PO/S TO :I* !Y ASPIRE1 !Y /ILL WORK 9 FACTORIES4 0,S9CE !Y TRESPASS$ ON PRIVATE PROP]TY10 ! P]SON CONT9U$1 0! POLICE W]E ONLY DO+ !IR JOB :5 !Y >RE/$ !M40 

,ANO!R /UD5T >GU$ ?AT /RIKES W]E = HI<] WAGES & IMPROV$ WORK+ CONDITIONS1 & ?AT !RE=E ! LEAFLET WAS NOT CALL+ = A /RIKE BUT = A NOT4 ,I >GU$ ?AT IT WAS UP TO /RIK]S TO DEF9E :AT !Y W]E /RIK+ =1 BUT ?IS /ATEM5T PROVOK$ PROTE/S FROM ALMO/ ALL ! WORK]S 9 ! ROOM1 WORK]S :O HAD ALL P>TICIPAT$ 9 /RIKES4 0,IF EV]YONE DEF9$ HIS [N /RIKE IT W\LD BE AN>*Y10 ONE /UD5T COMPLA9$4 ,! DOM9ANT VIEW WAS ?AT ! UNIONS & ! GOV]NM5T DEF9E ! AIMS ( A /RIKE4 ,!RE SEEMS TO BE A GREAT DEAL ( SIMIL>ITY BETWE5 A SITUATION :]E /RIKES >E ILLEGAL & A SITUATION :]E /RIKES >E 9/ITUTIONALIZ$4 ,H]E /RIKES >E NOM9ALLY LEGAL BUT ONLY ?OSE /RIKES :I* >E CALL$ BY ! UNIONS & SANCTION$ BY ! LAW >E LEGAL4 ,9 PRACTICE ?IS MEANS ?AT ANY G5U9E /RIKE1 ANY /RIKE ORGANIZ$ BY WORK]S !MSELVES ) AIMS :I* !Y !MSELVES DEF9E IS AS ILLEGAL AS IT WAS 9 Y\R 5VIRONM5T = ! PA/ TW5TY YE>S1 & IS JU/ AS SAVAGELY REPRESS$4 

,EV5 ! FACT ?AT ,I TALK$ AB\T SU* A /RIKE 9 MY CLASS L$ TO MY BE+ 9TIMIDAT$4 ,OR RA!R1 IT WASN'T JU/ ! FACT ?AT ,I TALK$ AB\T IT BUT ! FACT ?AT ,I ACT$ ON IT1 TOOK P>T 9 IT1 CALL$ (F MY CLASS1 ?AT L$ TO 9TIMIDATION4 ,JU/ TALK+ IS ALL RI<T4 

,MY LA/ CLASS BE=E ! 0G5]AL /RIKE0 WAS DULL4 ,NO ONE EV5 M5TION$ ! COM+ EV5T4 ,EV]YONE SEEM$ TO KN[ ?AT SOME?+ WAS GO+ TO HAPP54 ,LAT] ON ,I LE>N$ ?AT SEV]AL ( ! /UD5TS 9 MY CLASS W]E ALSO 9 A PSY*OLOGY CLASS & ?AT !Y HAD TALK$ AB\T ME 9 !IR CLASS4 ,:5 MY CLASS 5D$ SOME ( ! /UD5TS LEFT BUT O!RS /OOD 9 ! HALL & W]E JO9$ BY A PR(ESSOR ,I HAD SE5 BE=E3 HE TEA*ES BEHAVIORAL PSY*OLOGY & IS ON SOME ADM9I/RATIVE BODY ( ! COLLEGE4 ,! PR(ESSOR %\T$ AT ME AS ,I CAME \T ( ! CLASSROOM4 0,I UND]/& Y\'VE DECID$ TO REVISE ! L5G? ( ! S*OOL T]M40 

0,Y\ UND]/& CORRECTLY10 ,I TOLD HIM4 0,I'M NOT A SCAB & ,I WON'T COME TO WORK DUR+ A /RIKE40 

0,SU* MATT]S >E TAK5 UP BY ! PROP] AU?ORITIES1 ,MISS ,NA*ALO10 HE SAID4 

0,NO !Y'RE NOT10 ,I SAID4 0,S9CE :5 DID ! BOSSES DET]M9E :5 A /RIKE WAS TO TAKE PLACE80 

0,Y\ 5C\RAGE VIOL5CE AGA9/ :AT Y\ CALL ! BOSSES1 DON'T Y\ ,MISS ,NA*ALO80 HE ASK$4 

0,:AT DOES ?AT HAVE TO DO ) IT80 ,I %\T$4 0,I'M TAK+ P>T 9 A /RIKE & Y\'RE NOT GO+ TO /OP ME60 

0,?AT'S JU/ ! PO9T1 ,MISS ,NA*ALO10 HE SAID1 & HE GR9N$4 0,NO?+ AT ALL IS GO+ TO /OP Y\4 ,Y\'RE A DANG]\S P]SON4 ,Y\ %\LDN'T BE TEA*+ 9 A COLLEGE4 ,Y\ %\LD BE UND]GO+ TREATM5T 9 A HOSPITAL40 

,HIS /ATEM5T1 HIS SMUGNESS & HIS IDIOTIC GR9 5FURIAT$ ME4 ,SU* PEOPLE & !IR C\S9S 9 ! POLICE >E CALL$ 0PIGS0 BY A SMALL NUMB] ( RADICAL /UD5TS2 ,I C]TA9LY SYMPA?IZE ) ?IS ATTEMPT TO CALL C]TA9 PEOPLE BY !IR PROP] NAMES4 0,:Y Y\ BA/>D60 ,I %\T$4 0,I'LL %[ Y\ JU/ H[ DANG]\S ,I AM60 ,I SLAPP$ HIS FACE TWICE ) ALL MY MI<T4 

,HE DIDN'T RAISE HIS H&S TO PROTECT HIMSELF4 ,9/EAD HE GR9N$ EV5 MORE /UPIDLY1 LIKE A G5U9E MASO*I/4 ,HE SAID1 0,EV]YONE CAN SEE Y\'RE AN EXTREMELY VIOL5T P]SON4 ,MISS ,NA*ALO40 

,ONE /UD5T YELL$1 0,BRAVO1 *AMP60 ,! RE/ DISP]S$ LIKE ZOMBIES4 ,I WALK$ AWAY TREMBL+ ) ANG] & FRU/RATION4 ,AFT] ?AT EV5T AS A BUILDUP1 ! ACTUAL 0/RIKE0 ?AT TOOK PLACE WAS A REAL LET-D[N4 

,Y\R LETT] >RIV$ ONE DAY BE=E ! 0G5]AL /RIKE40 ,I WAS SO EXCIT$ BY C]TA9 PASSAGES ?AT ,I TRANSLAT$ & TYP$ !M UP2 ,I WANT$ TO %[ ,DAMAN ?AT EXP]I5CES SIMIL> TO \RS W]E TAK+ PLACE ON ! O!R SIDE ( ! WORLD4 ,:AT /RUCK ME MO/ WAS Y\R DESCRIPTION ( Y\R SITUATION 9 ! C>TON PLANT2 ,I !N IMAG9$ MY [N SITUATION WAS AB\T TO BECOME SIMIL> TO Y\RS4 ,I ?\<T ,I WAS AB\T TO EXP]I5CE A PROGRESSION ( EV5TS SIMIL> TO ! ONE Y\ DESCRIB$3 LA/ WEEK !RE HAD BE5 AN UNPREC$5T$ DEMON/RATION2 TODAY A G5]AL /RIKE ( /UD5TS WAS BREAK+ \T2 NEXT WEEK WORK]S MI<T GO ON /RIKE & IF ! F]M5T CONT9UES !N A NEW LIFE MI<T BE POSSIBLE H]E TOO -- AS Y\ PUT IT3 A HUMAN LIFE 9HIBIT$ BY NO B>RI]S EXT]NAL TO ! DEVELOP+ 9DIVIDUALS4 ,BUT ,I WAS ONLY DREAM+1 SO PLEASE DON'T TAKE ?IS AS ANO!R ( MY MISGUID$ ATTEMPTS TO ID5TIFY MY SITUATION ) Y\RS4 

,ON ! MORN+ ( ! 0/RIKE0 ,I WAIT$ IMPATI5TLY = ,DAMAN TO COME BY = ME4 ,HE NORMALLY DIDN'T />T TEA*+ UNTIL NOON & CONSEQU5TLY WASN'T 9 ! HABIT ( />T+ \T E>LY4 ,:5 HE F9ALLY PICK$ ME UP AT LUN*TIME ,I LEFT ! H\SE )\T ! PAGES ,I HAD TYP$ UP = HIM -- BUT Y\'LL SEE ?AT ?OSE PAGES1 9 FACT Y\R 5TIRE LETT]1 /RONGLY AFFECT$ MY P]CEPTION ( ! DAY'S EV5TS & P>TICUL>LY ( ,DAMAN4 ,MY DISAPPO9TM5T ) ,DAMAN BEGAN ! MOM5T HE >RIV$2 ,I WAS PEEV$ BECAUSE ( H[ LATE HE HAD COME & H[ NON*ALANT HE ACT$ AB\T ! :OLE ?+4 ,HE SEEM$ TO BE GO+ TO ! UNIV]SITY ! SAME WAY HE W\LD HAVE GONE ANY O!R DAY1 AT ! SAME H\R1 APP>5TLY ) ! SAME ?\<TS4 ,HE SEEM$ COMPLETELY 9DIFF]5T AB\T ! /RIKE & DIDN'T TALK AB\T IT4 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT ,I HAD MAGNIFI$ ! IMPORTANCE ( :AT WAS GO+ TO HAPP5 BECAUSE ( :AT HAD ALREADY HAPP5$ TO ME4 ,I EV5 ASK$ HIM1 0,>5'T Y\ EXCIT$80 

0,NO10 HE SAID4 0,:Y %\LD ,I BE EXCIT$80 

0,I DON'T KN[10 ,I SAID4 0,:AT IF ! POLICE ATTACK AGA980 

0,:AT MAKES Y\ ?9K !Y'RE GO+ TO ATTACK AGA980 HE ASK$1 SNICK]+ AT ME4 

,I REALLY DO HAVE A VIVID IMAG9ATION :5 ,I ?9K AB\T /RIKES & DEMON/RATIONS4 ,?AT'S ONE CRITICAL OBS]VATION ( Y\RS ?AT REALLY HITS ITS M>K4 ,I SUPPOSE ,I GOT ?AT FROM ,LUISA1 ,EV]Y TIME A GR\P ( PEOPLE GET TOGE!R TO PROTE/1 ,I SEE ! REVOLUTION >\ND ! CORN]4 ,! EXPECTATIONS ,I HAD BUILT UP 9 MYSELF = ?AT /RIKE C]TA9LY HAD NO RELATION TO :AT ACTUALLY HAPP5$4 ,IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SPR+ DAY1 ! FIR/ REALLY W>M DAY ( ! YE>4 ,! /RIKE1 IT TURN$ \T1 WAS ONE VA/ PICNIC :I* SEEM$ TO EXT5D OV] ALL ! LAWNS ( ! UNIV]SITY CAMPUS4 ,I'M NOT SAY+ ?IS ) IRONY4 ,I WAS ACTUALLY SOME:AT PLEAS$4 ,NO?+ ( ?IS SORT HAD EV] HAPP5$ AT ! UNIV]SITY :5 ,I HAD BE5 A /UD5T4 ,! PICNIC SEEM$ 5JOYABLE 5\<4 ,/UD5TS HAD COME ) !IR LUN*ES & !RMOS BOTTLES4 ,I EV5 SAW GR\PS ( /UD5TS ) L>GE COOL]S1 ) BOXES FULL ( PICNIC SUPPLIES1 & SOME HAD EV5 BR\<T LAWN *AIRS & FOLD+ TABLES4 ,IT WAS A NICE PICNIC1 BUT IT WASN'T ! EV5T ,I HAD ANTICIPAT$ FROM ! LEAFLET ?AT HAD ANN\NC$ A 0G5]AL /RIKE10 & IT C]TA9LY WASN'T ! VIOL5T RIOT ANTICIPAT$ BY ! DOME/ICAT$ /UD5TS :O ATT5D$ MY NI<T CLASS4 

,! EV5T WASN'T P>TICUL>LY FE/IVE4 ,!RE WAS NO S++ OR DANC+ OR !AT]4 ,!RE W]E JU/ GR\PS ( FRI5DS PICNICK+ ON ! GRASS4 ,! EV5T DIDN'T 9DICATE ! 5D ( ! UNIV]SITY OR ! BEG9N+ ( ANY?+ NEW4 ,EV]YONE KNEW ?AT CLASSES W\LD RESUME 0NORMALLY0 ! FOLL[+ DAY4 ,I SUPPOSE ?AT W\LD HAVE BO!R$ ME LESS IF Y\R LETT] HADN'T >RIV$ ?AT V]Y DAY4 ,I LOOK$ = SIGNS ( SOME?+ NEW BUT !RE WASN'T A TRACE ( ! F]M5T Y\R LETT]S HAVE DESCRIB$4 ,AS A G5]AL /RIKE ?IS EV5T WAS A BAD JOKE4 ,ONLY ONE M9OR DETAIL REM9D$ ME ?AT ! EV5T WAS NOT M]ELY A PICNIC4 ,A Y\NG WOMAN RAN UP TO ,DAMAN & ANN\NC$1 V]Y PR\DLY1 0,Y\ KN[ :AT4 ,PR(ESSOR ,HESP]8 ,A GR\P ( US RAN ?R\< ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+ YELL+ ',JAILBREAK6'0 

,DAMAN SMIL$ & SAID1 0,?AT'S GREAT4 ,WAS ANYONE !RE80 

,LOS+ MO/ ( H] 5?USIASM1 %E ANSW]$1 0,! SECRET>IES & DEANS40 

,SEV]AL /UD5TS SITT+ ON ! /EPS ( ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+ CAU<T SI<T ( ,DAMAN & BEGAN WAV+ & %\T+ = HIM TO JO9 !M4 

0,COME ON10 ,DAMAN TOLD ME4 0,I'LL 9TRODUCE Y\ TO ! POLITICAL /UD5TS40 

,NORMALLY ,I W\LD HAVE SAID ?AT ,I'D BE DELI<T$ TO MEET ! POLITICAL /UD5TS2 NORMALLY ,I W\LD HAVE PREF]R$1 ! COMPANY ( 0POLITICAL0 /UD5TS TO ?AT ( APOLITICAL /UD5TS4 ,I DON'T MEAN 0NORMALLY40 ,I MEAN BE=E Y\R LA/ TWO LETT]S CAME4 ,BECAUSE ( Y\R LETT]S ,I BEGAN TO HE> WORDS ,I HAD NEV] REALLY HE>D BE=E & ,I BEGAN TO SEE A ,DAMAN ,I HAD NEV] REALLY LOOK$ AT BE=E4 ,:5 WE CAME UP TO ! GR\P1 ,DAMAN 9TRODUC$ ME3 0,SOPHIE ,NA*ALO1 MEET ! ORGANIZ]S ( ?IS UNUSUAL EV5T40 

,ONE ( ! 0ORGANIZ]S0 SAID1 0,I KN[ :O Y\ >E4 ,Y\'RE ! FACULTY RADICAL :O WAS FIR$ A YE> AGO RI<T AFT] ! RIOT40 

0,I RECOGNIZE Y\ TOO10 ,I TOLD HIM4 ,I RECOGNIZ$ TWO OR ?REE ( ! O!RS AS WELL4 ,A C\PLE ( YE>S AGO1 RI<T AFT] ,I HAD GOTT5 MY FIR/ TEA*+ JOB1 ,I ATT5D$ A L>GE PROTE/ MEET+ :I* WAS DE/ROY$ BY MANIPULATIVE POLITICIANS :O HAD ELECT$ !MSELVES ! LEAD]S ( ! /UD5T MOVEM5T4 ,I ?9K ,I TOLD Y\ AB\T ?AT MEET+4 ,?REE OR F\R ( ?OSE V]Y POLITICIANS W]E AMONG ! 0POLITICAL /UD5TS0 TO :OM ,DAMAN 9TRODUC$ ME4 

,:AT HAPP5$ NEXT ON ! /EPS ( ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+ WAS SO BIZ>RE ?AT ,I'LL TRY TO DESCRIBE IT 9 DETAIL1 FIR/ ( ALL BECAUSE ,I'D LIKE TO 5GRAVE ?AT EV5T ON MY MEMORY & SECONDLY BECAUSE ,I'D LIKE TO %[ Y\ ?AT ,I DO READ Y\R LETT]S ATT5TIVELY4 ,Y\R LETT] IS :AT MADE ?IS EV5T CLE> TO ME4 

,IT WAS ! DAY ( ! GREAT /RIKE AGA9/ ! UNIV]SITY4 ,! LEAFLET ANN\NC+ ! /RIKE HAD SPECIFICALLY DESCRIB$ ! AU?ORIT>IAN *>ACT] ( ! $UCATION AS ONE ( ! T>GETS AGA9/ :I* ! /RIKE WAS LAUN*$4 ,YET ,DAMAN PLAC$ HIMSELF ON ! BOTTOM /EP & BEGAN LECTUR+ LIKE AN ORATOR 9 A COLOSSEUM1 ! OMNISCI5T PR(ESSOR LECTUR+ TO HIS IGNORANT ADMIR]S4 ,:AT TOOK PLACE ON ! /EPS ( ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+ WAS ! MO/ AU?ORIT>IAN CLASSROOM SITUATION ,I HAVE EV] EXP]I5C$1 & ?OSE SUBJECT$ TO IT W]E ! /UD5TS :O HAD BE5 9TRODUC$ TO ME AS ! ORGANIZ]S ( ! /RIKE AGA9/ ?AT TYPE ( AU?ORIT>IANISM4 

,DAMAN ALWAYS 9TRODUC$ HIMSELF TO PEOPLE AS 0BASICALLY A WORK]40 ,HE HAD WORK$ 9 A FACTORY = SEV]AL YE>S BE=E HE WAS EMPLOY$ 9 ! UNIV]SITY4 ,9 ?IS CONTEXT1 AMONG ?OSE HE CALL$ 0! POLITICAL /UD5TS10 ! FACT ?AT HE CONSID]$ HIMSELF 0BASICALLY A WORK]0 MADE HIM !IR IDOL4 ,! LECTURE BEGAN :51 AFT] 9TRODUC+ ALL ! /UD5TS TO ME BY NAME1 ,DAMAN SAID1 0,?IS WAS EASY6 ,BUT ?IS ISN'T :AT C\NTS40 7,BY 0?IS0 HE MEANT ! /UD5T /RIKE47 

,A Y\NG WOMAN ,I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE OBJECT$ TO ?IS PUT-D[N ( ! /UD5T /RIKE4 0,I ?9K ?IS DOES C\NT4 ,MANY ( ! /UD5TS COME FROM WORK+ CLASS HOMES & MO/ ( !M >E GO+ TO BE WORK]S ( ONE TYPE OR ANO!R40 

,AT ?AT PO9T ,DAMAN BEGAN A TIRADE4 ,AT ONE OR ANO!R TIME ,I HAD AGRE$ ) MO/ ( :AT HE SAID1 & ,I /ILL DO AGREE ) MU* ( IT4 ,BUT HE SPOKE 9 A TONE ?AT WAS T]RIBLY 9TIMIDAT+ & 9 A CONTEXT :I* TOTALLY FALSIFI$ :AT HE SAID4 ,I REMEMB]$ :AT Y\ HAD WRITT5 AB\T ! 'MIRRORS' CREAT$ BY POLITICIANS1 MIRRORS :I* REFLECT PEOPLE'S DESIRES & TRANS=M !M 9TO IMAGES1 WORDS4 ,DAMAN TURN$ TO ! Y\NG WOMAN & SAID1 0,?AT !ORY ( /UD5TS & PR(ESSORS BE+ P>T ( ! SO-CALL$ NEW WORK+ CLASS IS SO MU* BALONEY 9V5T$ BY PETTY-B\RGEOIS ACADEMIC SOCIOLOGI/S40 ,HE SPOKE CALMLY BUT :AT HE SAID WAS SO 9TIMIDAT+ TO ! Y\NG WOMAN1 TO ! RE/ ( ! GR\P & EV5 TO ME ?AT HE MI<T AS WELL HAVE %\T$ AT ! TOP ( HIS VOICE4 ,IT'S PROBABLY TRUE ?AT ! 0!ORY ( ! NEW WORK+ CLASS0 IS BALONEY 9V5T$ BY ACADEMIC SOCIOLOGI/S1 BUT ,DAMAN'S /ATEM5T HAD NO?+ TO DO ) :AT ! Y\NG WOMAN HAD SAID4 ,HE 9TIMIDAT$ H] BY ID5TIFY+ H] COMM5T ) A !ORY %E WAS PROBABLY UNFAMILI> )2 HE TRANS=M$ :AT %E HAD SAID 9TO AN EXPRESSION ( SYMPA?Y = A PETTY-B\RGEOIS !ORY4 ,HE !N CONT9U$ TO PU% HIS PO9T 9 ! SAME DIRECTION4 0,! ONLY TE/ ( CLASS IS SOMEONE'S RELATION TO PRODUCTION4 ,PEOPLE :OSE FUNCTION IS TO MANIPULATE O!RS1 LIKE PR(ESSORS1 >E BE/ DEF9$ AS MIDDLE CLASS40 

,I FELT LIKE %\T+ & TELL+ ! 0POLITICAL /UD5TS0 ?AT !Y W]E BE+ TAK5 9 BY A HOAX1 PRECISELY ! TYPE ( HOAX Y\ DESCRIB$4 ,I AGA9 AGRE$ ) HIS WORDS4 ,BUT H[ W]E HIS LI/5]S & HE RELAT$ TO ?OSE WORDS8 ,HE WAS TALK+ TO /UD5TS SOME ( :OM W]E ALREADY EXP]I5C$ MANIPULATORS4 ,HE WAS HIMSELF A PR(ESSOR4 ,YET HE SPOKE AS IF HIS & !IR LIVES & FUNCTIONS W]E TOTALLY UNRELAT$ TO :AT HE SAID1 AS IF HE W]E TALK+ AB\T O!R PR(ESSORS1 O!R MANIPULATORS1 O!R MEMB]S ( ! MIDDLE CLASS4 

0,! BE/ PAID & MO/ ?OR\<LY UNIONIZ$ WORK]S 9 ! BASIC & HEAVY 9DU/RIES >E CRUCIAL TO REVOLUTION>Y POT5TIAL & CANNOT BE BRU%$ ASIDE & REPLAC$ BY CL]ICAL WORK]S1 /UD5TS1 PR(ESSORS & SO ON10 HE CONT9U$4 0,! FACT ?AT WORK]S >E AT ! PO9T ( PRODUCTION IS ! S\RCE ( ! REVOLUTION>Y CAPACITY ( ! WORK+ CLASS4 ,!IR WORK TEA*ES !M H[ TO RUN PRODUCTION40 

,UP TO ?IS PO9T ,I ?\<T ,I AGRE$ ) EV]Y /ATEM5T ,DAMAN HAD MADE4 ,BUT ! V]Y FACT ?AT ,I AGRE$ ) HIS WORDS MADE ME REALIZE ?AT SU* AGREEM5T HAS NO?+ TO DO ) %>$ COMMITM5TS & PROJECTS4 ,I AGRE$ ) ! /ATEM5TS BUT ! CONTEXT ( ?OSE /ATEM5TS MADE ME WANT TO %\T MY DISAGREEM5T4 ,I GREW 9CREAS+LY FRU/RAT$ AS ,DAMAN'S LECTURE PROGRESS$ FUR!R4 ,I /OPP$ AGREE+ ) ! /ATEM5TS HE MADE1 AL?\< ,I WASN'T ABLE TO >TICULATE MY DISAGREEM5TS UNTIL LAT] ?AT EV5+1 :5 ,T9A TORE 9TO ,DAMAN'S >GUM5TS4 

,HE MU/ HAVE TALK$ )\T A BREAK = AT LEA/ AN H\R4 ,! MA9 PO9T ( HIS LECTURE WAS ?AT CAPITALISM1 BY CONC5TRAT+ WORK]S 9 ! BASIC 9DU/RIES1 HAD ITSELF CREAT$ ! ORGANIZATION & DISCIPL9E ( 0! NEW SOCIETY40 ,I HAD HE>D ?AT :OLE >GUM5T 9NUM]ABLE TIMES BE=E & ,I US$ TO AGREE ) IT4 ,I />T$ TO D\BT ITS VALIDITY BE=E ,I />T$ CORRESPOND+ ) Y\ BUT ?ANKS TO Y\R LETT]S & ESPECIALLY Y\R BRIEF DESCRIPTIONS ( ,JAN ,S$LAK'S 9SI<TS ,I'M F9ALLY ABLE TO EXPRESS MY UND]/&+ ( :AT'S WRONG ) ?AT >GUM5T4 ,DAMAN GLORIFIES ! ABSOLUTE DEGRADATION ( ! HUMAN 9DIVIDUAL & ! HUMAN COMMUNITY = :I* CAPITALISM IS RESPONSIBLE4 ,HE LOCATES 0! NEW SOCIETY0 9 ! ASSEMBLY L9ES1 ! FURNACES & ! M9ES4 ,HIS >GUM5T IS AN APOLOGY = ! UNPREC$5T$LY 9HUMAN HELL CREAT$ BY CAPITALISM4 

,I WAS SO IRRITAT$ BY :AT ,DAMAN SAID ?AT IT DIDN'T DAWN ON ME UNTIL LAT] ?AT ,I HAD HE>D EV]Y S+LE ONE ( HIS /ATEM5TS BE=E1 9 EXACTLY ! SAME WORDS4 ,HE HAD ALREADY SAID ! SAME ?+S F\RTE5 YE>S E>LI]6 ,! CONTEXT WAS APP>5TLY IRRELEVANT2 IT WAS NO?+ BUT AN OCCASION = REPEAT+ ! SAME P]=MANCE4 ,! /ATEM5TS HE MADE ON ! /EPS ( ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+ W]E ! POLITICAL BELIEFS ( ! ORGANIZATION TO :I* HE HAD BELONG$ :5 ,I HAD MET HIM ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF4 ,DESPITE ALL ?AT'S HAPP5$ DUR+ ! PA/ F\RTE5 YE>S1 ,DAMAN HAS SOMEH[ MANAG$ NOT TO *ANGE A S+LE ONE ( HIS IDEAS6 ,I CAN N[ UND]/& :Y Y\ W]E SO %OCK$ :5 Y\ READ MY FIR/ LETT] & RECOGNIZ$ A P]SON & AN \TLOOK Y\ HAD KN[N TW5TY YE>S AGO4 ,I HOPE ,I HAV5'T BE5 AS RIGID AS ,DAMAN6 ,?AT'S FRI<T5+4 ,HE C\LD HAVE PUT ALL HIS VIEWS ON A PHONOGRAPH RECORD F\RTE5 YE>S AGO & ANYONE :O WANT$ TO MEET HIM C\LD SIMPLY PLAY ! RECORD4 ,?AT'S E]IE4 ,DAMAN ISN'T ALTOGE!R A LIV+ P]SON4 

,!RE W]E NO QUE/IONS :5 ,DAMAN F9I%$ HIS LECTURE4 ,HE SIMPLY SAID1 0,WELL1 SEE Y\ NEXT WEEK40 ,?IS WAS 9COMPREH5SIBLE TO ME4 ,! /UD5TS GOT UP & JO9$ PICNICK]S ON A LAWN4 

,I ASK$ ,DAMAN1 0,:AT DO Y\ MEAN Y\'LL SEE !M NEXT WEEK8 ,>E !Y GO+ TO CALL = ANO!R G5]AL /RIKE JU/ SO !Y CAN LI/5 TO Y\ DELIV] ! SAME LECTURE ANO!R TIME80 ,I WAS FURI\S AT ,DAMAN4 ,I WAS ALSO FURI\S AT MYSELF = HAV+ MADE SU* A SC5E AT ! COMMUNITY COLLEGE = ! SAKE ( ?IS TRAVE/Y ( A /RIKE & ESPECIALLY = ! DELUSIONS ) :I* ,I HAD FILL$ MYSELF :ILE ANTICIPAT+ ?IS GREAT DAY4 

,HE EI!R DISREG>D$ MY ANG] & FRU/RATION OR ELSE HE DIDN'T NOTICE IT4 ,V]Y MATT]-(-FACTLY1 AS IF EV]Y?+ WAS EXACTLY AS IT %\LD BE1 HE TOLD ME1 0,I'LL SEE !M NEXT WEEK BECAUSE WE GET TOGE!R ONE NI<T A WEEK4 ,S9CE !RE WAS NO S*OOL TODAY WE HAD DECID$ TO MEET DUR+ ! DAY40 

,9DIGNANTLY ,I ASK$1 0,Y\ MEAN ?IS WAS A CLASS8 ,& Y\ C>RI$ IT ON PRECISELY ) ! GR\P :O HAD ORGANIZ$ ! /RIKE AGA9/ CLASSES80 

,/ILL MATT]-(-FACTLY1 AS IF HE W]E UNABLE TO GRASP ! CONTRADICTION1 HE SAID1 0,?IS ISN'T A =MAL UNIV]SITY CLASS4 ,IT'S AN ALTOGE!R 9=MAL AFFAIR & IT WAS CONV5I5T TO ALL CONC]N$ TO MEET TODAY40 

0,Y\ HYPOCRITE60 ,I %\T$4 0,Y\ CALL PEOPLE TO A /RIKE & Y\'RE ! ONE :O BREAKS IT6 ,?AT WAS ! MO/ =MAL UNIV]SITY CLASS ,I'VE EV] ATT5D$4 ,9=MAL MY ASS6 ,IT'S 9F9ITELY MORE =MAL ?AN M9E & ,I WALK$ \T ( MY TEA*+ JOB BECAUSE !RE WAS A /RIKE60 

,HE LOOK$ AT ME ) G5U9E SURPRISE & ASK$1 0,DID ,I ASK Y\ TO DO ?AT80 

,( C\RSE HE HADN'T ASK$ ME TO WALK \T ( MY JOB NOR HAD HE TOLD ME ?AT ?IS /RIKE W\LD BE ! FIR/ /AGE ( A REVOLUTION4 ,HE HAD M]ELY GIV5 ME A LEAFLET & ,I HAD ASK$ HIM TO DRIVE ME TO CAMPUS ON ! DAY ( ! /RIKE4 ,I HAD NEGLECT$ TO ASK IF ! LEAFLET MEANT :AT IT SAID4 

,I ASK$ ,DAMAN TO TAKE ME HOME4 ,ON ! WAY TO HIS C> ,I ASK$ AB\T ! CLASS HE WAS GIV+ TO ?OSE HE CALL$ ! 0POLITICAL /UD5TS40 ,HE TOLD ME ?AT SOME ( ! /UD5TS ,I HAD JU/ MET W]E 09 ! PROCESS ( =G+ A RELEVANT TYPE ( ORGANIZATION40 ,I C\LD GUESS :I* ONES4 ,HE W5T ON TO SAY !RE HAD ALREADY BE5 TALK AB\T PUBLI%+ A NEWSPAP]4 

0,ANO!R /UD5T PAP]80 ,I ASK$4 

0,NO1 NOT A /UD5T NEWSPAP]10 HE SAID4 ,HE WAS PEEV$4 0,I'VE HAD MY FILL ( /UD5T NEWSPAP]S1 HAV5'T Y\8 ,:AT ,I'M TALK+ AB\T IS AN ORGANIZATION ?AT ORGANIZES ITSELF TO PUBLI% A WORK]S' PAP]40 

0,BUT Y\'VE JU/ CONV9C$ ME ?AT Y\ & ?OSE O!R MEMB]S ( Y\R ORGANIZATION >E ANY?+ BUT WORK]S10 ,I SAID4 0,:AT DO Y\ MEAN BY A WORK]S' PAP]8 ,Y\'VE JU/ SP5T AN H\R DESCRIB+ ! PAP]'S PUBLI%]S AS MIDDLE-CLASS MANIPULATORS40 

,) AN APPE>ANCE ( G5U9E SURPRISE HE ASK$1 0,:AT'S ?AT GOT TO DO ) IT80 ,! NAIVETE ) :I* HE ASK$ ?IS MADE ME SUPPOSE ?AT ,I HAD MISS$ SOME?+ :I* W\LD HAVE BE5 P]FECTLY OBVI\S TO ANYONE ELSE4 ,I RECOGNIZ$ ! S\RCE ( HIS ABILITY TO 9TIMIDATE4 

,E*O+ Y\R >GUM5T 7PROBABLY WORD = WORD7 ,I SAID ?AT SU* A NEWSPAP]1 PUBLI%$ BY ,DAMAN & HIS GR\P ( 0POLITICAL /UD5TS10 C\LD ONLY TRANS=M ! REAL ACTIVITY ( WORK]S 9TO ! POLITICAL PROGRAM ( ,DAMAN'S ORGANIZATION1 ONCE AGA9 REPRES5T+ & REPLAC+ ! WORK]S LIKE ALL ! O!R POLITICIANS :O SPEAK 9 !IR NAME4 

,DAMAN F9ALLY LO/ HIS MATT]-(-FACTNESS4 ,HE SPOKE TO ME 9 A TONE HE'S R>ELY US$ ON ME BE=E1 A PAT]NALI/IC1 CONDESC5D+ TONE4 0,I DIDN'T SAY WE W]E GO+ TO WRITE ! PAP]4 ,! WORK]S !MSELVES >E GO+ TO WRITE IT4 ,I'M NOT TALK+ AB\T A NEWSPAP] = WORK]S4 ,Y\'RE ! ONE :O IS TALK+ AB\T ?AT4 ,I'M TALK+ AB\T A WORK]S' NEWSPAP]4 ,ITS ,I TASK WILL NOT BE TO SPEAK = ! WORK]S BUT TO LET ! WORK]S ,I !MSELVES SPEAK4 ,!RE'S NO QUE/ION H]E ( REPRES5T+ J WORK]S OR REPLAC+ !M OR ANY ( ?AT OLD CRAP4 ,I SAID E>LI] 1 ?AT ! NEW SOCIETY IS CREAT$ AT ! PO9T ( PRODUCTION1 P>TICUL>LY 9 ! BASIC 9DU/RIES4 ,IT'S NOT CREAT$ 9 ! HEADS ( 9TELLECTUALS4 ,! SOLE TASK ( ?IS PAP] WILL BE TO RECOGNIZE ! EXI/5CE ( ! NEW SOCIETY & TO RECORD ! FACTS ( ITS EXI/5CE40 

,?IS /ATEM5T MY/IFI$ ME COMPLETELY4 ,! WORDS DESCRIB$ A PROJECT ,I W\LD HAVE EMBRAC$ )\T RES]VATIONS UND] O!R CIRCUM/ANCES4 ,YET UND] ! PRES5T CIRCUM/ANCES EV]Y?+ AB\T IT SEEM$ FALSE4 ,! SELFLESSNESS ?AT SU* A PROJECT W\LD REQUIRE WAS TO BE C>RI$ PRECISELY BY PEOPLE :O W]E AMONG ! CRASSE/ POLITICIANS ,I'VE EV] SE54 ,?AT PAP] W\LD RECOGNIZE1 NOT ! NEW SOCIETY1 BUT M]ELY ,DAMAN'S IDEOLOGY1 & IT W\LD RECORD1 NOT ! FACTS ( ! /RUGGLE = ! CREATION ( ! NEW SOCIETY1 BUT ! RIS+ 9FLU5CE ( ,DAMAN'S ORGANIZATION AMONG WORK]S4 ,BUT IT S\ND$ LIKE SOME?+ ALTOGE!R DIFF]5T4 

,IT BECAME CLE> TO ME :Y ,DAMAN HAD REMA9$ CONSI/5T = SO MANY YE>S4 ,HE HAD ANSW]S TO EV]Y?+1 DETAIL$ & DOCUM5T$ ANSW]S :I* HE HAD WORK$ \T & P]FECT$ YE>S AGO1 & ! MORE HE REPEAT$ !M ! MORE P]FECT !Y BECAME4 ,HE C>RI$ A CORPSE 9 HIS M\?4 

,ON ?AT DAY ,I RECOGNIZ$ ,DAMAN AS ! P$AGOGUE :O DES]VES ALL ! CRITIQUES Y\'VE =MULAT$4 ,H[ GRATEFUL ,I AM = Y\R LETT]4 ,I REALLY DON'T ?9K ,I C\LD HAVE SE5 ?R\< HIM ON MY [N4 ,H[ P]FECTLY HE FITS Y\R DESCRIPTION6 ,HE & HIS /UD5TS >E GO+ TO $IT 0A WORK]S' PAP]1 NOT A PAP] = WORK]S40 ,DAMAN AGREES ) Y\R CRITIQUE ( REPRES5TATION4 ,HE AGREES SO MU* ?AT HE'LL REPRES5T ! 5D ( REPRES5TATION4 ,HE KN[S :O ! REAL REVOLUTION>IES >E & !RE=E HIS PAP] WILL REALLY BE REVOLUTION>Y4 ,HE KN[S ?AT PR(ESSORS & /UD5TS >E MIDDLE CLASS & !RE=E HIS PAP] WILL NOT BE A /UD5TS' OR A PR(ESSORS' PAP]4 ,HE KN[S ?AT ! NEW SOCIETY IS LOCAT$ AT ! PO9T ( PRODUCTION & !RE=E HIS PAP] WILL NOT BE M]ELY ANO!R POLITICAL GIMMICK NOR HIS ORGANIZATION ANO!R RACKET4 ,HE'LL REFLECT ! NEW SOCIETY4 

,ON ! WAY TO MY H\SE ,I TELL ,DAMAN AB\T MY CORRESPOND5CE ) Y\ & ,I BEG HIM TO COME 9 & READ ! EXC]PTS FROM Y\R LETT]4 ,:5 WE GO 91 ,SAB9A & ,T9A >E SITT+ 9 ! LIV+ ROOM DISCUSS+ Y\R LETT]4 ,DAMAN TAKES ! TRANSLAT$ SECTIONS & GOES TO MY B$ROOM TO READ !M4 

,I TELL ,SAB9A & ,T9A ?AT ,I'M GO+ TO CALL ,LUISA4 ,T9A ASKS IF ,I REALLY ?9K ,LUISA WILL BE WILL+ TO EXP]I5CE ANO!R SC5E LIKE ! ONE WE HAD LA/ TIME WE DISCUSS$ Y\R LETT]4 ,I CALL ,LUISA & TELL H] Y\R LETT] CONTA9S A LONG ACC\NT ( ,JASNA ,ZBRKOVA'S LIFE4 ,LUISA SAYS %E'D LIKE TO BORR[ ! LETT] & READ IT BY H]SELF AT H] H\SE4 ,I GUESS %E WAS REALLY UPSET BY \R ALL-NI<T SESSION4 

,T9A'S FIR/ COMM5T AB\T Y\R LETT] IS1 0,W[4 :AT A PUT-D[N ( ALL Y\R FRI5DS1 ,SOPHIA60 ,T9A1 PR$ICTABLY1 IS 5*ANT$ BY ! PUT-D[N4 

,T9A GOES TO ! KIT*52 IT'S H] TURN TO MAKE SUPP]4 ,:5 ,I GO TO ! KIT*5 TO MAKE MYSELF C(FEE %E MAKES ANO!R COMM5T AB\T Y\R LETT]4 ,%E RAISES ! SAME QUE/ION Y\ & ,JASNA BO? RAIS$4 0,Y\ KN[1 NEI!R Y\ NOR ,LUISA HAVE EXPLA9$ :Y Y\ ?REE W]E RELEAS$ TW5TY YE>S AGO AFT] Y\ SP5T ONLY TWO DAYS 9 JAIL4 ,SAY+ ?AT ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS >RANG$ Y\R RELEASE DOESN'T EXPLA9 ANY?+4 ,Y>O/AN WANTS TO KN[ :AT P[] ,ALB]TS HAD TO >RANGE Y\R RELEASE4 ,I'M CURI\S AB\T ?AT TOO40 

,I CAN'T ANSW] ,T9A BECAUSE ,I DON'T KN[4 ,I VAGUELY REMEMB] ?AT ! POLICE APOLOGIZ$ TO US4 ,P]HAPS !Y TOLD US ?AT \R >RE/ HAD BE5 A 0MI/AKE10 AS !Y LAT] TOLD ,JASNA4 ,I ALSO VAGUELY REMEMB] ?AT ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS WASN'T >RE/$4 ,BUT IT WAS ,LUISA :O SAID ?AT ,ALB]TS MADE \R RELEASE POSSIBLE4 ,I DIDN'T ?9K TO ASK H] H[ HE HAD DONE ?AT2 ,I SIMPLY PASS$ H] COMM5T ON TO Y\4 ,I'LL TRY TO REMEMB] TO ASK H]4 

,:5 ,I RETURN TO ! LIV+ ROOM1 ,SAB9A REM9DS ME ?AT Y\ DIDN'T ANSW] ! QUE/IONS %E HAD ASK$ AB\T ,MANUEL4 ,Y\ COMM5D H] = 0GUESS+0 ?AT ,MANUEL & HIS FRI5DS W]E REPRESS$ BY ! REVOLUTION>Y LEAD]S & NOT BY ! REACTION>Y G5]ALS1 BUT Y\ DON'T ELABORATE4 ,%E SAYS ! COMM5T %E MADE WASN'T REALLY A GUESS4 ,%E LE>N$ A GREAT DEAL AB\T ?AT UPRIS+ FROM ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS2 ?AT'S :Y %E NEV] ACCEPT$ ,LUISA'S VIEW ( ?AT /RUGGLE4 ,AL?\< ,ALB]TS DIDN'T EXPLICITLY TELL H] ?AT REVOLUTION>IES HAD BE5 JAIL$ & %OT BY ! 0REVOLUTION>Y GOV]NM5T10 %E SUSPECT$ ?IS FROM :AT ,ALB]TS DID TELL H]4 ,Y\R ACC\NT ( ,MANUEL CONFIRM$ H] SUSPICIONS4 ,%E TELLS ME ?AT ,ALB]TS VIEW$ ?AT /RUGGLE AS A /RUGGLE = 9DU/RIALIZATION & NO?+ MORE4 ,9 ,ALB]TS' VIEW EV]Y?+ ELSE WAS ROMANTICISM OR IDEOLOGICAL OBFUSCATION4 ,?AT'S ALSO ,SAB9A'S VIEW ( ?AT /RUGGLE4 ,TO H] ,I'M AN EXAMPLE ( ! ROMANTICISM & ,LUISA ( ! OBFUSCATION4 ,ALB]TS TOLD H] ?AT ! SOLE TASK ( ?AT REVOLUTION WAS TO SWEEP AWAY ! D>K AGES & CREATE ! CONDITIONS = PROGRESS2 ALL ?OSE :O OPPOS$ 9DU/RIALIZATION HAD TO BE PU%$ \T ( ! WAY4 ,!SE REACTION>IES 9CLUD$ ! *UR*1 ! L&[N]S & ! MILIT>Y4 ,:AT ALWAYS BO!R$ ,SAB9A WAS ?AT ,ALB]TS ALSO 9CLUD$ 0REACTION>Y SABOTEURS AMONG ! WORK]S & PEASANTS40 ,ALB]TS1 LIKE ,LUISA1 CALL$ !SE PEOPLE 0LUMP50 & 0HOODLUMS40 ,SAB9A WAS ALWAYS SUSPICI\S AB\T ! 9CLUSION ( 0SABOTEURS0 AMONG ! 0REACTION>IES0 = ! V]Y REASONS Y\ M5TION 9 Y\R LETT]1 BUT %E HAD NO WAY ( KN[+ :O !Y REALLY W]E & :AT !Y W]E FI<T+ =4 ,%E HAD ?\<T !Y W]E REVOLUTION>Y WORK]S & PEASANTS :O F\<T AGA9/ BO? REGIMES BECAUSE !Y WANT$ TO 9DU/RIALIZE ON !IR [N1 )\T 0REVOLUTION>Y LEAD]S10 )\T MANAG]S LIKE ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS1 )\T A 0REVOLUTION>Y >MY40 ,MANUEL WAS APP>5TLY ONE ( ! PEOPLE ,ALB]TS DESCRIB$ AS A SABOTEUR & A LUMP54 ,BUT :AT Y\'VE TOLD AB\T HIM SO F> DOESN'T EXACTLY FIT ! PICTURE %E'S CON/RUCT$ ( !SE REVOLUTION>Y SABOTEURS4 ,?AT'S :Y %E WANTS TO KN[ MORE AB\T ,MANUEL4 

,SAB9A ALSO WANTS ME TO ASK Y\ & ,JASNA A QUE/ION AB\T ,JASNA'S SECOND >RE/4 ,JASNA SAYS ?AT ! POLICE 9SI/$ %E HAD KN[N A 0NOTORI\S =EIGN SPY40 ,!Y ALSO ASK$ H] IF %E HAD KN[N ,LUISA & ME4 ,!N ,JASNA COMM5TS MY/]I\SLY ?AT 0!Y HAD ! WRONG LA/ NAME D[N = ,SOPHIA & ,LUISA40 ,SAB9A ASKS IF ,JASNA HAPP5S TO REMEMB] ! NAME ! POLICE HAD = US2 WAS ?AT NAME1 BY ANY *ANCE1 ,ALB]TS8 ,:5 ,SAB9A RAISES ?IS QUE/ION ,I ASK H] IF %E'S SUGGE/+ ?AT ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS WAS ?AT =EIGN SPY4 0,I'M NOT SUGGE/+ ANY?+10 ,SAB9A SAYS2 0,I'D JU/ LIKE TO KN[ IF %E REMEMB]S40 

,WE CALL ,DAMAN :5 SUPP] IS READY4 ,T9A & ,I LOOK AT HIM QUIZZICALLY2 WE CAN'T WAIT TO HE> HIS RESPONSE4 ,IT'S ! FIR/ TIME ,DAMAN HAS EV] EAT5 AT \R H\SE & ,I CAN SEE ?AT ,SAB9A IS WAIT+ = ! SLI<TE/ PRETEXT TO TE> 9TO HIM4 ,%E DISLIKES ACADEMICS 9 G5]AL2 %E DISLIKES ,DAMAN EV5 MORE BECAUSE HE PRET5DS NOT TO BE ONE4 

,DAMAN />TS EAT+ & HIS SOLE COMM5T IS1 0,MM1 ?IS IS V]Y GOOD4 ,:AT IS IT80 

,I ASK MYSELF IF HE'S GO+ TO AVOID Y\R LETT]4 ,I'VE SE5 HIM DO ?AT BE=E4 ,:5EV] HE CONFRONTS A SITUATION HE DOESN'T WANT TO FACE HE'S LIKE AN O/RI* ) ITS HEAD 9 S&2 HE SIMPLY PRET5DS ! SITUATION ISN'T !RE4 

,! ?REE ( US EAT 9 SIL5CE1 GLANC+ AT ,DAMAN BETWE5 BITES4 ,F9ALLY ,I CAN'T /& WAIT+ ANY MORE & ,I BLURT \T1 0,DID Y\ READ IT80 

0,EV]Y PAGE10 HE SAYS4 

0,WELL80 ,I ASK4 0,:AT DID Y\ ?9K80 

0,I DON'T UND]/& :Y Y\ ASK$ ME TO READ ,IT10 ,DAMAN SAYS4 0,! 5TIRE EXPOSITION REVIVES ! WORN \T !ORY ( ! BACKW>DNESS ( ! WORK+ CLASS40 

,ALL ?REE ( US >E />TL$4 

0,! :AT ( ! :AT80 ,T9A ASKS1 ALMO/ SPITT+ \T ! M\?FUL ( FOOD %E'S JU/ TAK54 

,ASSUM+ HIS P$AGOGICAL PO/URE AGA91 ,DAMAN EXPLA9S TO ,T9A3 0,! !ORY1 OR SO-CALL$ !ORY1 ( ! BACKW>DNESS ( ! WORK+ CLASS4 ,IT'S NO?+ BUT A RATIONALIZATION ( ! PREJUDICES ( PETTY-B\RGEOIS WRIT]S :O DON'T KN[ A ?+ AB\T ! REVOLUTION>Y POT5TIAL ( ! WORK+ CLASS40 

,BE=E ,DAMAN IS DONE SPEAK+ ,SAB9A ?R[S H] KNIFE D[N ON H] PLATE1 GETS UP SO ABRUPTLY %E KNOCKS ! *AIR D[N BEH9D H]1 & PO9T+ H] =K AT ,DAMAN %E %\TS1 0,Y\'RE FULL ( %IT1 PR(ESSOR60 ,C>RY+ ! =K1 %E RU%ES AWAY & SLAMS ! DOOR ( H] ROOM4 

,DAMAN REMA9S P]FECTLY CALM4 0,%E OBVI\SLY AGREES ) HIM10 HE SAYS1 & CONT9UES EAT+4 

,T9A1 :O REMA9S AS CALM AS ,DAMAN1 ASKS HIM1 0,H[ DOES ?AT SO-CALL$ !ORY APPLY TO ?OSE SECTIONS ( ,Y>O/AN'S LETT]80 

0,IS ANYONE ELSE GO+ TO WAVE A =K 9 MY FACE80 ,DAMAN ASKS1 BUT NEI!R ( US LAU<S4 0,IF WORK]S W]E AS BACKW>D AS HE DESCRIBES !M1 SOCIALISM W\LD BE IMPOSSIBLE40 

0,%[ ME :]E HE SAYS WORK]S >E BACKW>D60 ,T9A 9SI/S4 

,H[ GLAD ,I AM ?AT ,T9A NEV] ATT5D$ S*OOL & !RE=E NEV] LE>N$ TO BE 9TIMIDAT$ BY P$AGOGUES :O =CE ONE TO ASSUME :AT !Y !N PROCE$ TO PROVE4 

0,DO Y\ WANT ME TO QUOTE ! ACTUAL L9ES :]E HE SAYS IT80 ,DAMAN ASKS1 TRY+ TO SUGGE/ ?AT ! PASSAGE ,I TYP$ IS FULL ( SU* L9ES4 

0,H[ ELSE C\LD Y\ %[ ME :AT HE SAYS80 ,T9A ASKS4 

0,! IDEA ( ! WORK]S' BACKW>DNESS P]VADES HIS :OLE >GUM5T10 ,DAMAN SAYS CURTLY1 AS IF ) ?AT /ATEM5T HE HAD DEF9ITIVELY PROV$ HIS ACCUSATION R& HE PROCE$S TO %IFT ! CONV]SATION TO SOME?+ ELSE3 0,! WORK+ CLASS IS 9H]5TLY REVOLUTION>Y4 ,?IS IS NOT A MATT] --0 

0,HEY60 ,T9A 9T]RUPTS4 0,>5'T Y\ GO+ TO %[ ME :]E HE SAYS ! WORK]S >E BACKW>D80 

,DAMAN IS OBVI\SLY NOT US$ TO >GU+ ) A P]SON :OSE P]CEPTION HASN'T BE5 DULL$ BY =MAL $UCATION1 & HE PROCE$S AS IF HE HAD SUCCE$$ 9 %IFT+ ! TOPIC4 0,! WORK+ CLASS CONT9UALLY DEVELOPS ! CAPACITY TO CREATE A NEW SOCIETY1 !RE AS WELL AS H]E4 ,! WORK]S ALWAYS & EV]Y:]E EXHAU/ ! AVAILABLE POSSIBILITIES40 

,T9A JU/ GL>ES AT HIM4 

0,N[ WAIT A M9UTE4 ,DAMAN10 ,I SAY1 BECOM+ AS FRU/RAT$ AS ,T9A SEEMS TO BE4 0,DO Y\ ?9K ! POLICE REGIME ,Y>O/AN LIV$ UND] = ! PA/ TW5TY YE>S EXHAU/$ ! AVAILABLE POSSIBILITIES80 

0,I DIDN'T SAY ?AT10 ,DAMAN 9SI/S4 0,I SAID WORK]S CREATE ORGANIZATIONS TO /RUGGLE = :ATEV] SEEMS USEFUL TO !M4 ,!SE /RUGGLES W9 = ! WORK+ CLASS :ATEV] IT IS OBJECTIVELY POSSIBLE TO W94 ,!SE VICTORIES >E NEV] GRANT$ )\T /RUGGLE1 & !Y >E NEV] TRICKS TO DECEIVE ! WORK+ CLASS40 

0,IF Y\'RE NOT SAY+ ?AT POLICE REGIME WAS A WORK+ CLASS VICTORY !N :AT 9 ! WORLD >E Y\ SAY+80 ,T9A ASKS1 APP>5TLY GIV+ UP H] ATTEMPT TO GET H] E>LI] QUE/ION ANSW]$4 

0,:AT'S WRONG ) Y\R FRI5D'S COMM5TS10 ,DAMAN SAYS1 0IS ?AT HE CRITICIZES ! ROLE ( ALL TYPES ( ORGANIZATIONS & LEAD]S 9 RE/RA9+ & LIMIT+ ! REVOLUTION>Y CAPACITY ( WORK]S4 ,BUT HE NEV] DEALS ) ! QUE/ION ( ORGANIZATIONS & LEAD]S 9 A FUNDAM5TAL WAY4 ,UNLESS Y\ ACCEPT A CONSPIRATORIAL !ORY ( HI/ORY -- ?AT ORGANIZATIONS & LEAD]S >E ALWAYS & EV]Y:]E 9TRODUC$ TO RE/RA9 & DEFEAT ! WORK]S40 

0,I'M LO/10 ,T9A SAYS4 0,AT LEA/ ,I ?9K ,I'M LO/4 ,EV]Y?+ Y\ SAY S\NDS LIKE AN EVASION & SEEMS TO HAVE NO?+ TO DO ) :AT ANYONE IS SAY+40 

0,I'M LO/ TOO10 ,I ADMIT4 0,:AT'S Y\R PO9T8 ,?AT ,Y>O/AN DOESN'T DEAL ) ORGANIZATIONS & LEAD]S 9 A FUNDAM5TAL WAY :]EAS Y\ DO80 

0,?AT'S RI<T10 HE SAYS4 0,HIS CRITIQUE ( ORGANIZATIONS & LEAD]S IS TOTALLY MISPLAC$40 

0,MISPLAC$60 ,I %\T4 0,HE'S BE5 EXP]I5C+ ! EFFECTS ( ?OSE ORGANIZATIONS & !IR POLICE = ! PA/ TW5TY YE>S60 

0,HE'S NOT ! ONLY ONE EXP]I5C+ ?OSE EFFECTS2 SO >E MILLIONS ( O!R PEOPLE10 HE SAYS4 

0,:AT 9 HELL DOES ?AT MEAN80 ,I ASK1 />T+ TO %AKE ) FRU/RATION4 ,!RE'S NO WAY TO TALK TO HIM6 ,I BEG9 TO WI% ,I HAD WALK$ \T LIKE ,SAB9A 9/EAD ( TRY+ TO COMMUNICATE ) HIM4 

0,Y\R FRI5D DOESN'T LIKE REAL REVOLUTIONS10 ,DAMAN SAYS4 0,?AT COMES ?R\< EV]Y L9E4 ,HE WANTS A REVOLUTION TO BE PURE4 ,BUT REAL REVOLUTIONS >E ! ONLY ONES ?AT TAKE PLACE & WORK]S' /RUGGLES >E NEV] PURE4 ,Y\R FRI5D IS AGA9/ ALL REAL /RUGGLES40 

0,Y\'RE A REAL C>D1 PR(ESSOR60 ,T9A SAYS1 UNSUCCESSFULLY PRET5D+ TO BE AMUS$4 0,NEXT TIME Y\ COME TO D9N] ,I'M GO+ TO FRY Y\ A TURD FI%$ /RAI<T \T ( ! TOILET B[L & IF Y\ DON'T LIKE IT ,I'LL ASK2 ,:AT'S ! MATT] ) Y\1 PR(ESSOR8 ,DO Y\ ONLY LIKE FOOD :5 IT'S PURE80 

,DAMAN TURNS TO ME PRET5D+ ?AT HE'S BE+ P]SECUT$ & ASKS1 0,DO ,I HAVE TO LI/5 TO ?AT80 

,)\T A TRACE ( SYMPA?Y = HIS PLI<T ,I TELL HIM1 0,DAMAN1 Y\ DON'T HAVE TO LI/5 TO ANY?+ EXCEPT Y\R [N 9N] VOICES40 

0,I'M TRY+ TO MAKE ! PO9T10 HE CONT9UES1 0?AT Y\R FRI5D IS LIKE AIL ?OSE PETTY-B\RGEOIS WRIT]S :O CONDEMN REAL REVOLUTIONS BECAUSE !Y DON'T LIVE UP TO C]TA9 /&>DS SET UP1 NOT BY ! /RUGGL+ WORK]S1 BUT BY ! B\RGEOIS WRIT]S4 ,WORK]S ALWAYS /RUGGLE = :ATEV] IS OBJECTIVELY POSSIBLE1 :E!R OR NOT IT'S PURE1 :E!R OR NOT IT LIVES UP TO ! /&>DS SET UP BY ! B\RGEOIS WRIT]S40 

,I />T TO BOIL4 0,?AT'S AN APOLOGY = POLICE /ATES IF ,I EV] HE>D ONE60 ,I %\T4 0,:ATEV] HAPP5S TO WORK]S IS = Y\ A WORK+ CLASS VICTORY4 ,IF WORK]S >E %OT & JAIL$ !N ?AT'S ! ONLY VICTORY ?AT WAS OBJECTIVELY POSSIBLE6 ,:ATEV] HAPP5S TO WORK]S IS ALL ?AT WAS OBJECTIVELY POSSIBLE4 ,Y\'RE AN APOLOGI/ = ! /ATUS QUO60 

0,Y>O/AN IS NO MORE ( A B\RGEOIS WRIT] ?AN ,I AM60 ,T9A %\TS4 

,DAMAN AT LA/ %[S SIGNS ( BECOM+ ANGRY4 ,HE TURNS TO ME & PRET5D+ TO BE 9JUR$ AT ! V]Y CORE ( HIS BE+1 HE SAYS1 0,SOPHIE1 Y\R LA/ /ATEM5T IS A COMPLETE DI/ORTION ( EV]Y?+ ,I HAVE EV] SAID1 & Y\ KN[ IT4 ,Y\ KN[ P]FECTLY WELL ?AT ,I'M NOT TALK+ AB\T C\NT]-REVOLUTIONS SO DON'T Y\ D>E CALL ME AN APOLOGI/ = C\NT]-REVOLUTIONS4 ,I'M TALK+ AB\T REVOLUTIONS ?AT DON'T LIVE UP TO ! EXPECTATIONS ( A MIDDLE CLASS 9TELLECTUAL40 

0,Y\ DON'T KN[ :AT Y\'RE TALK+ AB\T60 ,T9A %\TS4 0,Y\1 A FULL-FL$G$ UNIV]SITY PR(ESSOR1 >E CALL+ SOMEONE :O SP5T HALF HIS LIFE WORK+ 9 FACTORIES A MIDDLE-CLASS 9TELLECTUAL4 ,TALK AB\T DI/ORTIONS6 ,H[ DO Y\ D>E --0 

0,?AT'S JU/ PLA9 HORSE%IT60 ,DAMAN %\TS1 CUTT+ ,T9A %ORT & LOS+ HIS PR(ESSORIAL DETA*M5T ALTOGE!R4 0,NO FACTORY WORK] ,I KN[ C\LD HAVE WRITT5 ANY?+ LIKE ?IS60 

0,W[60 %\TS ,T9A4 0,LOOK :O'S TALK+ AB\T ! BACKW>D WORK]S :O CAN'T WRITE & HAVE NO /&>DS60 

0,DO Y\ WANT TO TALK S]I\SLY OR DO Y\ WANT TO HAVE A %\T+ MAT*80 HE %\TS4 0,IF Y\'D LIKE TO HAVE A %\T+ MAT* !N C\NT ME \T BECAUSE ,I'VE GOT MORE IMPORTANT ?+S TO DO & MY N]VES CAN'T TAKE IT4 ,SO :AT IF HE SP5T HALF HIS LIFE 9 A FACTORY8 ,SO HAVE ,I60 

0,& Y\ SURE HAVE CAPITALIZ$ ON ?AT FACT10 ,I COMM5T S>CA/ICALLY4 

0,:AT'S ?AT GOT TO DO ) ANY?+80 HE %\TS4 0,?AT DOESN'T MAKE ME A FACTORY WORK] ANY MORE ?AN IT MAKES HIM A FACTORY WORK] OR ANYONE ELSE 9 ?IS ROOM4 ,IT'S OBVI\S ?AT HE SP5T ! O!R HALF ( HIS LIFE GETT+ A POLITICAL $UCATION EV]Y BIT AS COMPLETE AS M9E40 

,)\T ! SLI<TE/ HOPE ( GETT+ ?R\< TO HIM ,I COMM5T1 0,BUT ,DAMAN1 ?IS AFT]NOON Y\ SAID ?AT ONE'S RELATION TO PRODUCTION IS ! ONLY TE/ ( ONE'S CLASS40 

,T9A SAYS ) V5OM1 0,Y\'RE NOT ! ONE TO TALK AB\T O!R PEOPLE'S DI/ORTIONS1 PR(ESSOR6 ,Y\'RE TALK+ AB\T SOMEONE :O SP5T ! O!R HALF ( HIS LIFE 9 PRISON1 & IF Y\ CALL ?AT A UNIV]SITY $UCATION Y\ CAN KISS MY ASS & CALL IT LOVE AT FIR/ SI<T S9CE IT'S OBVI\S ?AT ) ALL Y\R $UCATION Y\ DIDN'T LE>N TO CALL ?+S BY !IR NAMES60 

,PRET5D+ NOT TO HAVE UND]/OOD :AT ,T9A SAID1 ,DAMAN TURNS TO ME & ASKS1 0,IS ?IS ! LEVEL ( Y\R USUAL POLITICAL DISCUSSIONS80 

0,NO IT ISN'T10 ,I SAY ) A V5OM ?AT BY ?IS PO9T MAT*ES ,T9A'S4 0,NEI!R ,T9A NOR ,I HAVE EV] DISCUSS$ ANY?+ AT SU* A L[ LEVEL40 

0,I CAN SEE ?AT IT'S TIME = ME TO LEAVE10 HE SAYS1 GETT+ UP4 

,I GET UP TOO & CONT9UE 9 ! SAME TONE1 0,Y\'VE EVAD$ EV]Y ONE ( ,T9A'S QUE/IONS ) *EAP TRICKS & SNEAKY %IFTS ( TOPIC4 ,%E ASK$ Y\ H[ Y\ C\LD CALL A WORK] :O SP5T HALF HIS LIFE 9 PRISON A MIDDLE CLASS 9TELLECTUAL4 ,& NOT JU/ ANY PRISON1 BUT A PRISON CREAT$ BY ! ORGANIZATIONS & LEAD]S Y\ DEF5D40 

,FIDGET+ ) ! DOORKNOB HE SAYS1 0,I HATE TO SAY ?IS1 ,SOPHIE1 BUT :5 IT COMES TO POLITICS Y\'RE A COMPLETE IGNORAMUS4 ,IF Y\ KNEW ANY?+ AT ALL AB\T ! WORK+ CLASS1 Y\'D KN[ ?AT LEAD]S DON'T SIMPLY IMPOSE !MSELVES ON ! WORK+ CLASS4 ,LEAD]S >E PRODUCTS ( ! WORK+ CLASS4 ,IF WORK]S >E DEFEAT$1 IT'S NOT BECAUSE ( ! EVIL WAYS ( LEAD]S BUT BECAUSE ! WORK+ CLASS ISN'T ABLE TO TAKE CONTROL ( ! MEANS ( PRODUCTION4 ,IT'S NOT !IR LEAD]S BUT !IR WORK ITSELF ?AT TEA*ES WORK]S H[ TO RUN PRODUCTION40 

,%AK+ ) FRU/RATION1 ,I TRY TO TALK CALMLY1 0,DAMAN1 Y\ JU/ KEEP REPEAT+ ?AT1 BUT Y\ OBVI\SLY DON'T BELIEVE IT4 ,Y\ LE>N$ Y\R :OLE >GUM5T1 NOT FROM WORK ITSELF1 BUT FROM ! WRIT+S ( SO-CALL$ REVOLUTION>Y LEAD]S4 ,HALF ( Y\R /ATEM5TS >E QUOTATIONS FROM ! WRIT+S ( ! FIR/ DICTATOR ( ! WORK+ CLASS40 

0,Y\R NAIVETE SIMPLY AMAZES ME10 ,DAMAN SAYS1 /ILL FIDGET+ ) ! DOORKNOB4 0,IT SO HAPP5S ?AT WORK]S PRODUCE !IR /RONGE/ LEAD]S :5 !Y'RE !MSELVES /RONGE/4 ,! /R5G? ( ! LEAD]S D]IVES FROM ! /R5G? ( ! WORK+ CLASS60 

0,N[ Y\'VE SAID IT60 ,I %\T4 0,! /RONG] ! LEAD] ! GREAT] ! TRIUMPH ( ! WORK]S4 ,Y\'RE AN \T & \T APOLOGI/ = ! POLICE /ATE & Y\ CAM\FLAGE IT ) SU* UNBELIEVABLE CLAPTRAP AB\T ! WORK]S !MSELVES4 ,= Y\ ! TOTAL 5SLAVEM5T ( ! WORK]S BY ! FIR/ SO-CALL$ PROLET>IAN DICTATOR IS ! MODEL ( ! WORK]S' VICTORY4 ,?AT'S :AT Y\ CALL ! NEW SOCIETY4 ,! ALMI<TY LEAD] IS ! SIGN ( ! /R5G? ( ! WORK]S4 ,SLAV]Y IS FRE$OM40 

,DAMAN ?R[S ! DOOR OP5 BUT REMA9S 9 ! DOORWAY4 0,Y\R CRITIQUE ( ! FIR/ GREAT LEAD] --0 

0,IS MISPLAC$60 ,I CUT 94 0,ALL CRITIQUES ( ! GREAT LEAD] >E MISPLAC$1 BECAUSE UND] ALL Y\R TALK AB\T WORK]S AT ! PO9T ( PRODUCTION Y\ WOR%IP ! GREAT LEAD]4 ,! SUN RISES & SETS ) ! GREAT LEAD]60 

,:ILE ,I'M %\T+ AT HIM1 HE WALKS HALFWAY TO HIS C>1 !N TURNS >\ND & %\TS3 0,?AT'S RI<T6 ,MISPLAC$6 ,BY RAIS+ ! ROLE ( ! GREAT LEAD]S 9 ?AT WAY1 Y\ ASSUME NO?+ HAS *ANG$ DUR+ ! PA/ FIFTY YE>S4 ,Y\'RE ONLY DEMON/RAT+ Y\R COMPLETE IGNORANCE ( ! FACT ?AT ! WORK+ CLASS TODAY IS EV5 BETT] $UCAT$ & EV5 BETT] ORGANIZ$1 NOT BY POLITICAL ORGANIZATIONS BUT BY PRODUCTION6 ,) MOD]N TE*NOLOGY & ADVANC$ MEANS ( COMMUNICATION1 NO?+ CAN /OP ! WORK]S FROM BUILD+ A NEW SOCIETY & A NEW /ATE60 

0,A NEW /ATE6 ,Y\ SAID IT6 ,AN EV5 NEW] /ATE & AN EV5 MORE TOTAL DICTATOR ( ! PROLET>IAT60 ,I %\T :ILE ,DAMAN RU%ES TO HIS C>4 

,T9A RUNS BEH9D ,DAMAN4 ,IT LOOKS LIKE %E'S GO+ TO RU% 9TO ! C> ) HIM4 ,HE SLAMS ! C> DOOR4 ,%E PLANTS H]SELF BY ! DRIV]'S SIDE ( ! C> & />TS %\T+ AT HIM ?R\< ! CLOS$ W9D[4 0,N[ ,I UND]/& :AT Y\'RE ALL AB\T1 PR(ESSOR6 ,Y\'RE A CONS]VATIVE BUREAUCRAT :O ?9KS WORK]S >E ALL POPCORN EAT]S & BASEBALL FANS :O DON'T KN[ !Y'RE BE+ HAD :5 SOMEONE CALLS HIMSELF !IR LEAD]4 ,TO Y\ ALL ?OSE POPCORN-EAT]S >E IMPURE & ?AT'S :Y !Y'LL ALWAYS BE TI$ TO ! PO9T ( PRODUCTION4 ,& ?AT'S :Y !RE'LL ALWAYS BE ROOM = FLUNKIES LIKE Y\ 9 ! GOV]NM5T PALACES --0 

,DAMAN DRIVES (F4 ,T9A1 /&+ 9 ! MIDDLE ( ! /REET1 CONT9UES %\T+ AT ! QUICKLY VANI%+ C>3 0,& ANYONE :O TELLS Y\ !Y'RE NOT GO+ TO REMA9 AT ! PO9T ( PRODUCTION1 ?AT !Y'RE GO+ TO COME \T 9 MASS TO DE/ROY ! GOV]NM5T PALACES1 IS A MISPLAC$ PETTY-B\RGEOIS 9TELLECTUAL & AN IGNORAMUS :O DOESN'T KN[ ?AT WORK]S >E IMPURE4 ,& Y\'RE BETT+ !Y'LL REMA9 IMPURE4 ,!Y SURE AS HELL BETT] REMA9 IMPURE IF Y\'RE GO+ TO KEEP Y\R CU%Y JOB60 

,I BUR/ \R LAU<+4 ,T9A LOOKS SO LUDICR\S /&+ 9 ! /REET %\T+ AT NOBODY4 ,:5 %E SEES ME %E />TS LAU<+ TOO1 & :5 WE GO 9 %E COMM5TS1 0,SOME FANCY FRI5DS Y\'VE GOT40 

,YES1 ,I C]TA9LY DO HAVE 0FANCY0 FRI5DS4 ,Y\ & ,JASNA MADE ?AT P]FECTLY CLE> TO ME4 ,I OBVI\SLY C\LDN'T HAVE KN[N IT BE=E Y\R LETT] CAME1 BUT N[ ,I SEE ?AT ,DAMAN IS 9 SUITABLE COMANY ) ,M>C ,GLAVNI1 ,V]A ,NEIS ,KR5A & ,ADRIAN ,POVR%AN4 ,Y\R LETT] WAS ! 9/RUM5T ?AT UNMASK$ ?IS ACADEMIC ) A CORPSE 9 HIS M\?4 ,?IS PHONY FACTORY WORK] :O P>ADES AS AN EXP]T ON FACTORY WORK]S P]FECTLY FITS ! PICTURE Y\ DREW ( HIM BE=E Y\ KNEW ANY?+ AB\T HIM1 ,HE REALLY IS EV]Y?+ Y\ SAY4 ,! RIGID !ORY HE'S BE5 C>RY+ >\ND ALL !SE YE>S TRANS=MS REVOLUTION 9TO SOME?+ LIKE HIS [N PRIVATE DOMA94 ,HE'S A PRIE/ ( A SECT ( BELIEV]S4 ,?AT ORGANIZATION HE'S TRY+ TO F\ND WILL ONLY SPREAD HIS [N RIGOR MORTIS TO O!RS1 & ! AIM ( ?AT NEWSPAP] HE'S TALK+ AB\T IS TO PLANT CORPSES 9 LOTS ( PEOPLE'S M\?S4 

,?ANKS TO Y\R LETT] ,I CAN SEE ?R\< ,DAMAN4 ,& ,I OBVI\SLY UND]/& ?AT ,ADRIAN1 ,V]A & ! O!RS >E OPPORTUNI/S4 ,BUT ,I ?9K Y\R COMM5TS AB\T ME >E EXTREMELY UNFAIR4 ,I ONCE 5GAG$ 9 PROJECTS ) ?OSE PEOPLE & ?OSE PROJECTS W]E V]Y IMPORTANT TO ME4 ,DOES ?AT MAKE ME ONE ( !M8 ,DOES ?AT MEAN ,I WAS AN OPPORTUNI/ TOO8 ,I ONCE %>$ A PROJECT ) ,DAMAN4 ,DOES ?AT MEAN ,I'M LIKE HIM8 

,I ?9K IT'S MEAN ( Y\ TO ID5TIFY ME ) !M4 ,:AT ,I DID & :O ,I WAS CAN'T BE DEF9$ BY :AT ,DAMAN BECAME NOR BY :AT ,M>C & ,V]A BECAME4 ,EV5 IF ,JASNA IS RI<T1 EV5 IF ,M>C1 ,V]A & ,CLAUDE W]E ALREADY />T+ TO CLIMB BUREAUCRATIC LADD]S AT ! TIME ,I KNEW !M1 ?IS DOESN'T MEAN ?AT ,I WAS CLIMB+ SU* A LADD] TOO4 

,DAMAN WAS ALREADY A PRIE/ ( A SECT :5 ,I FIR/ MET HIM & WORK$ ) HIM4 ,BUT ?AT DOESN'T MEAN ,I WAS A PRIE/ESS ( A SECT1 NOR DOES IT MEAN ?AT ! ACTIVITY WE %>$ CONSI/$ ( PROPAGAT+ A RELIGION4 ,! ACTIVITY ,I WAS 5GAG$ 91 H[EV] FLAW$ IT MI<T HAVE BE51 WAS SOME K9D ( AFFIRMATION ( LIFE1 NOT ANY K9D ( AFFIRMATION ( DEA?4 ,IF ,V]A1 ,M>C & ,DAMAN W]E RUNN+ ALONGSIDE ME BUT HEAD+ ELSE:]E1 Y\ CAN'T SAY ?AT ,I WAS HEAD+ T[>D ! DE/9ATION !Y REA*$4 ,:AT !Y'VE ALL BECOME DOESN'T TELL Y\ ANY?+ AT ALL AB\T :O ,I AM1 NOR EV5 AB\T :AT ,I DID ) !M4 

,YES1 LIKE ,DAMAN1 & LIKE ,M>C1 ,V]A & ,ADRIAN1 ,I W5T TO ! UNIV]SITY4 ,I DO HAVE ?AT MU* 9 COMMON ) !M1 BUT NOT MU* MORE4 ,JASNA W5T TO COLLEGE TOO1 & %E'S NEI!R AN (FICIAL NOR A MISSION>Y4 ,& IF Y\ CALL ! C>TON PLANT \R 0FIR/ UNIV]SITY10 !N Y\ TOO HAVE ?AT MU* 9 COMMON ) ! RE/ ( US4 ,MY SIMIL>ITY ) ,V]A & ,DAMAN 5DS :]E IT BEG9S4 ,MY LIFE 9 ! UNIV]SITY HAS NO?+ AT ALL 9 COMMON ) ,V]A'S OR ,ADRIAN'S OR ,M>C'S BUREAUCRATIC AMBITIONS1 JU/ AS MY ACTIVITY ON ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] /AFF HAD NO?+ 9 COMMON ) ,DAMAN'S MISSION>Y ACTIVITY4 

,:5 ,I FIR/ MET ,DAMAN ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF HIS RELATION TO ,M9NIE ,VA* WAS V]Y SIMIL> TO ,ADRIAN'S RELATION TO ,V]A4 ,DAMAN & ,M9NIE W]E MEMB]S ( A POLITICAL SECT LIKE ! ONE ,DAMAN IS TRY+ TO BR+ TO LIFE AGA9 N[4 ,M9NIE WAS ALWAYS ! !ORI/ & ,DAMAN WAS SOME?+ LIKE H] H5*MAN4 ,!IR ORGANIZATION PUBLI%$ A PAP] BUT ,I NEV] READ IT & CONSEQU5TLY ,I CAN'T TELL Y\ H[ WELL ! SELF-*OS5 PROPHETS RECOGNIZ$ & RECORD$ ! NEW SOCIETY :ILE WORK]S REMA9$ AT ! PO9T ( PRODUCTION4 ,:AT ,I CAN TELL Y\ IS ?AT ,I DID NOT WORK1 & W\LD NEV] HAVE WORK$1 ON !IR ORGANIZATION'S NEWSPAP]1 & ?AT ,DAMAN & ,M9NIE DID NOT TRANS=M ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] 9TO !IR ORGANIZATION'S ORGAN4 ,9 ?IS RESPECT ,DAMAN & ,M9NIE W]E MU* MORE DEC5T ?AN !IR POLITICAL 5EMIES ON ! /AFF1 ,LEM ,ICEL & ,RHEA ,MORPH54 ,LEM & ,RHEA W\LD HAVE LIK$ NO?+ BETT] ?AN TO TRANS=M ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] 9TO A PROPAG&A %EET = !IR ORGANIZATION1 & ,I WAS AS HO/ILE TO !IR ATTEMPTS TO DO ?IS AS ANYONE ELSE ON ! /AFF4 

,Y\'RE PROBABLY RI<T 9 SAY+ ?AT ,I RECOGNIZ$ ! REPRESSIVE ASPIRATIONS ( ,LEM & ,RHEA MA9LY BECAUSE !Y EXPRESS$ !M SO OP5LY4 ,BUT Y\'RE WRONG :5 Y\ SAY ,I GLORIFY !IR MORE SOPHI/ICAT$ POLITICAL C\S9S4 ,IF ,I 0GLORIFI$0 ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN 9 MY LA/ LETT]1 IT WAS BECAUSE ! MOM5TS ,I %>$ ) !M ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF W]E AMONG ! HAPPIE/ MOM5TS ( MY LIFE1 NOT BECAUSE ,I %>$ ANY ( !IR ORGANIZATIONAL COMMITM5TS4 ,I REALLY DO ?9K Y\ GET C>RI$ AWAY BY Y\R [N RHETORIC4 ,9 MY LA/ LETT] ,I TOLD Y\ ?AT MY FRI5D ,ALEC HAD TO TRAMPLE PUBLICLY ON ALL HIS PA/ POLITICAL COMMITM5TS BE=E ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN ACCEPT$ HIM AS A FRI5D & ALLY4 ,ADMITT$LY ,I DIDN'T MAKE AN EXHAU/IVE CRITIQUE ( ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN BUT ! LITTLE ,I DID SAY H>DLY AM\NT$ TO A GLORIFICATION4 ,& ,I C]TA9LY DIDN'T GLORIFY ANYONE ELSE ON ! /AFF4 ,I RA!R ?9K ,I MADE ! O!RS SEEM MORE RIDICUL\S ?AN !Y REALLY W]E4 

,I'LL /OP TRY+ TO COMP>E MY ACTIVITY TO Y\RS4 ,I REALIZE ?AT ! CIRCUM/ANCES >E TOO DIFF]5T & ,I'M OBVI\SLY FAIL+ TO COMMUNICATE ! SIMIL>ITIES ,I SEE BETWE5 ! TWO SITUATIONS4 ,I F9ALLY UND]/& Y\R CRITIQUE1 & ,I RECOGNIZE SOME ( ! PEOPLE ,I WORK$ ) AS ! T>GETS ( ?AT CRITIQUE4 ,BUT ,I DON'T ?9K ! ACTIVITY ITSELF WAS DET]M9$ BY :AT ?OSE PEOPLE W]E1 NOR BY :AT !Y'VE BECOME S9CE4 ,I ?9K ?AT MY ACTIVITY 9 ! UNIV]SITY WAS A MODE/ BUT G5U9E ACT ( REBELLION AGA9/ A REPRESSIVE SOCIAL SY/EM4 ,I SEE ?AT ,DAMAN FITS Y\R DESCRIPTION ( A REPRESSIVE 0REVOLUTION>Y40 ,BUT ,I DON'T ?9K ! ACTIVITY ,I %>$ ) HIM CAN BE DESCRIB$ AS 0REPRESSIVE REBELLION40 

,! ACTIVITY ,I'M AB\T TO DESCRIBE BEGAN F\RTE5 YE>S AGO4 ,WE W]E AMONG ! FIR/ /UD5TS :O RAIS$ \R VOICES AGA9/ ! WIT* HUNTS TAK+ PLACE AT ?AT TIME4 ,\R ACTIVITY DIDN'T /OP ! WIT* HUNTS & IT OBVI\SLY DIDN'T DE/ROY ! SOCIAL SY/EM ?AT P]PETRAT$ !M4 ,BUT BY RAIS+ \R VOICES WE DID /IMULATE O!RS TO RAISE !IRS & ?IS IS :Y ,I'M PR\D ( HAV+ BE5 P>T ( ?AT ACTIVITY4 ,/UD5TS AT ANO!R UNIV]SITY FOLL[$ \R EXAMPLE & 9 TIME MOV$ MU* FUR!R ?AN WE HAD EV] DREAM$ ( MOV+4 ,9 TIME ! PROTE/ MOVEM5T GREW SO VA/ ?AT IT DID PLAY A ROLE 9 PUTT+ AN 5D TO WIT* HUNTS1 :ILE IT SIMULTANE\SLY REPRODUC$ I RELATION%IPS :I* W]E AT LEA/ AS REPRESSIVE AS ! ONES WE HAD />T$ TO FI<T AGA9/4 ,\R 9ITIAL GE/URES W]5'T AS F>-REA*+ AS ?OSE ( ! MOVEM5T :I* LAT] GREW TO SU* PROPORTIONS1 BUT ! REPRESSIVE OV]TONES ( \R ACTIVITY W]5'T AS F>-REA*+ EI!R4 ,NOT ?AT UGLY RELATION%IPS W]E ABS5T AMONG US4 ,UN=TUNATELY ?AT WASN'T ! CASE AT ALL4 ,A GREAT DEAL WAS UGLY4 ,BUT !RE WAS ONE TRAIT WE DIDN'T %>E ) ! LAT] 0/UD5T MOVEM5T10 OR AT LEA/ ) ITS SPOKESM54 ,9 ! ACTIVITIES ,I %>$ ) !M1 !SE 9DIVIDUALS DIDN'T CONSID] !MSELVES SPOKESM5 OR REPRES5TATIVES DESPITE ! FACT ?AT ALMO/ HALF ! PEOPLE ON ?AT /AFF W]E MEMB]S ( POLITICAL ORGANIZATIONS :I* DID CLAIM TO REPRES5T ! 9T]E/S ( O!R PEOPLE4 ,:ATEV] !Y MI<T HAVE DONE 9 !IR ORGANIZATIONS1 :5 ,I WORK$ ) !M !Y DIDN'T ACT AS IF HI/ORY HAD ELECT$ !M TO REFLECT1 REPRES5T1 RECOGNIZE OR RECORD ! DESIRES ( WORK]S1 /UD5TS OR ANYONE ELSE4 ,EA* ONE ( US F\<T TO REALIZE H] OR HIS [N DESIRES4 ,WE REPRES5T$ NO ONE BUT \RSELVES4 ,NO1 WE DIDN'T EV5 REPRES5T \RSELVES4 ,WE W]E \RSELVES4 

,9 MY LA/ LETT] ,I TOLD Y\ SOME?+ AB\T ! >TICLES WE WROTE1 >TICLES :I* EXPOS$ ! MILIT>IZATION ( PR(ESSORS & /UD5TS & DOCUM5T$ ! REPRESSION ( RADICALS4 ,I ALSO M5TION$ ! BIGGE/ >TICLE ( ! YE>1 ,M9NIE'S 9T]VIEW ) A CAMPUS G5]AL :O KEPT FILES ON ALL ! /UD5TS 9 ! UNIV]SITY4 

,M9NIE'S >TICLE CAUS$ A SC&AL ON CAMPUS4 ,ALEC & ,I W]E NI<T $ITORS ON ! ISSUE 9 :I* ,M9NIE'S >TICLE WAS PUBLI%$4 ,WE WORK$ ON IT ON ! V]Y NI<T :5 ,SAB9A CAME TO ! CO-OP TO TELL ME ,RON HAD BE5 KILL$4 ,! FOLL[+ MORN+1 ,M9NIE1 ,DAMAN1 ,ALEC & ,I W5T TO F\R ( ! BOXES FROM :I* /UD5TS TOOK ! PAP]4 ,WE 5GAG$ /UD5TS 9 CONV]SATIONS AB\T ! >TICLE & ASK$ !IR P]MISSION TO PUBLI% !IR COMM5TS 9 ! PAP]4 ,WE !N RAN A S]IES ( 9T]VIEWS ) /UD5TS 9 SEV]AL CONSECUTIVE ISSUES4 

,SOME ( ! /UD5TS' COMM5TS W]E PRICELESS1 ESPECIALLY ?OSE :I* EXPRESS$ SYMPA?Y = ! CAMPUS MILIT>Y E/ABLI%M5T4 ,I /ILL REMEMB] ! GI/ ( :AT A BRI/LE-HAIR$ A?LETE TOLD ME4 ,HE SAID HE WASN'T AT ALL SURPRIS$ ?AT ! >MY & ! POLICE 7,M9NIE'S >TICLE HADN'T SAID ANY?+ AB\T ! POLICE7 KEPT FILES ON ! 5TIRE POPULATION4 0,AFT] ALL10 HE EXPLA9$ TO ME1 0,IT'S !IR JOB TO PROTECT SOCIETY FROM DANG]\S ELEM5TS1 & ! ONLY WAY !Y CAN DO !IR JOB PROP]LY IS BY CON/ANT SURVEILLANCE ( ALL ACTUAL & POT5TIAL DANG]\S ELEM5TS4 ,!Y \<T TO USE ?OSE FILES !Y'VE GOT & />T R\ND+ UP ALL SUBV]SIVES1 HOMOSEXUALS1 PACIFI/S & O!R CRACKPOTS SO AS TO MAKE LIFE SAFE = ! RE/ ( ! POPULATION40 ,HE V5TUR$ TO GUESS ?AT 0! REASON ! GOV]NM5T ISN'T R\ND+ UP ALL ?OSE SICK P]V]TS IS BECAUSE ! CO/ ( IMPRISON+ OR EXT]M9AT+ !M W\LD BE TOO GREAT = ! GOV]NM5T'S PRES5T BUDGET40 ,HE CONCLUD$ BY SAY+ ?AT 0,I1 = ONE1 W\LD BE GLAD TO PAY MORE TAXES SO AS TO 5ABLE ! GOV]NM5T TO C>RY \T ?AT 5T]PRISE40 

,I GOT SEV]AL O!R 9T]VIEWS SIMIL> 9 \TLOOK TO ?IS ONE1 BUT NONE ( !M W]E AS RABID4 ,M9NIE'S 9T]VIEWS W]E PRECISELY ! OPPOSITE FROM M9E4 ,%E SAID %E C\LDN'T /OMA* /UD5TS :O SYMPA?IZ$ ) ! MILIT>Y & %E ONLY 9T]VIEW$ ?OSE :OSE COMM5TS W]E HO/ILE TO ! G5]AL'S FILES4 ,ONE /UD5T %E 9T]VIEW$ SAID HE W\LDN'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP ANY MORE BECAUSE EV]Y TIME HE HE>D ! POLICE SIR5 AT NI<T HE'D ?9K ! POLICE W]E COM+ TO >RE/ HIM4 ,O!RS %E 9T]VIEW$ SPOKE AT L5G? AB\T ! 0UNCON/ITUTIONALITY0 ( ! G5]AL'S FILES1 & ONE /UD5T COMM5T$ ON ! G5]AL'S ANTI-,SEMITISM4 ,ONE ( ! 09SI<TS0 ! G5]AL HAD GOTT5 FROM HIS FILES WAS ?AT 0SUBV]SIVE TRAITS0 APPE>$ MORE FREQU5TLY AMONG 0,BALTIC ,JEWS0 ?AN AMONG ANY O!R 0EASILY ID5TIFIABLE0 GR\P4 

,I FELT ?AT MY >TICLES W]E MU* BETT] ?AN ,M9NIE'S PRECISELY BECAUSE ,I DIDN'T JU/ 9T]VIEW /UD5TS :O SAID ?+S ,I AGRE$ )4 ,I FELT ?AT ! /UD5TS :O DEF5D$ ! G5]AL EXPOS$ HIM MU* MORE EFFECTIVELY ?AN ?OSE :O ATTACK$ HIM4 ,BESIDES :I* IT WAS SU* A BALL TO 9T]VIEW ?OSE REACTION>IES4 ,I DID !M ! FAVOR ( MAK+ !IR /ATEM5TS COH]5T & GRAMMATICAL4 ,MO/ ( ?OSE PROTECTORS ( CIVILIZATION & CULTURE1 FUTURE (FICIALS & MANAG]S1 HADN'T EV] LE>N$ TO USE !IR [N LANGUAGE4 

,DAMAN & ,ALEC W]E T]RIBLY DISAPPO9T+4 ,!Y DIDN'T CONTRIBUTE A S+LE >TICLE4 ,9/EAD ( 9T]VIEW+ /UD5TS !Y HAD GOTT5 9TO HEAT$ >GUM5TS ) !M1 & ,ALEC EV5 GOT 9JUR$ 9 A FI<T ) A /UD5T HE WAS SUPPOS$LY 9T]VIEW+4 

,EV]Y S+LE ONE ( ,M9NIE'S & MY >TICLES W]E PUBLI%$4 ,IT WAS OBVI\S TO ,HU< 7! $ITOR7 ?AT MY >TICLES REFLECT$ 0ONE SIDE0 ( ! PICTURE :]EAS ,M9NIE'S REFLECT$ 0! O!R SIDE10 & CONSEQU5TLY !RE WAS NEV] ANY QUE/ION ( EXCLUD+ ANY >TICLE4 

,?IS S]IES ( 9T]VIEWS CAUS$ AS MU* ( A SC&AL AS ,M9NIE'S ORIG9AL 9T]VIEW1 & ! SC&AL L$ DIRECTLY TO ! REPRESSION ( ! NEWSPAP] /AFF4 

,PR(ESSORS & /UD5TS DISCUSS$ !SE >TICLES 9 !IR CLASSES1 & ! CITY NEWSPAP]S />T$ TO TAKE AN 9T]E/ 9 ! QUE/ION4 ,BUT ! TWO CITY PAP]S W]E [N$ BY PEOPLE JU/ LIKE ! G5]AL :O KEPT ! FILES1 & !Y W]5'T 9T]E/$ 9 \R EXPOSURES ( ! G5]AL'S FILES BUT 9 US4 ,!Y />T$ PUBLI%+ /ORIES :I* SAID ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] HAD BE5 0TAK5 OV] BY A CLIQUE ( R$S & P9KOS10 & ?AT ?IS CLIQUE WAS 9T5T ON DEFAM+ & DE/ROY+ 0! UNIV]SITY1 ! >MY & ! FLAG40 ,!Y QUOT$ SOME ( ! MO/ EXTREME /ATEM5TS ( /UD5TS WE HAD 9T]VIEW$ & SAID ! /ATEM5TS HAD BE5 P>TS ( $ITORIALS :I* 0EXPRESS$ ! NEWSPAP] /AFF'S POLICY40 

,I'VE NEV] KN[N IF IT WAS ! CAMPAIGN C>RI$ ON 9 ! CITY NEWSPAP]S1 OR PRESSURE FROM ! CAMPUS MILIT>Y1 OR ! UNIV]SITY ADM9I/RATION'S [N EMB>RASSM5T ?AT SET (F ! REPRESSION4 ,IT WAS PROBABLY ALL ( !SE ?+S PLUS SOME O!RS ,I'M NOT EV5 AW>E (4 ,ONLY A FEW DAYS AFT] ,M9NIE'S ORIG9AL >TICLE APPE>$1 WE GOT A NOTE FROM ! ADM9I/RATION 6 DEM&+ ?AT ! $ITOR & MANAG+ $ITOR GO TO ! (FICE ( ! UNIV]SITY PRESID5T 0IMM$IATELY1 BE=E ! PREP>ATION ( ANO!R DAY'S ISSUE40 ,HU< & ,BESS RU%$ TO ! PRESID5T'S (FICE1 & ! RE/ ( US CONT9U$ WORK+ ON ! NEXT DAY'S PAP]4 ,:5 ,HU< & ,BESS RETURN$ AN H\R LAT] ALL ! WORK /OPP$4 ,BESS SAID ! PRESID5T HAD TOLD !M ?AT ! PAP] W\LD HAVE TO /OP PUBLI%+ >TICLES AB\T ! G5]AL'S FILES4 ,IF SU* >TICLES CONT9U$ APPE>+1 !RE W\LD BE 0SEV]E CONSEQU5CES40 

,HU< SAID HE HAD OBJECT$ TO BE+ CALL$ TO ! PRESID5T'S (FICE 0ON A MATT] ?AT IS COMPLETELY )9 ! COMPET5CE ( ! ELECT$ $ITOR10 & ?AT HE W\LD DISREG>D ! PRESID5T'S ?REAT & CONT9UE TO $IT ! PAP] 0ACCORD+ TO /RICTLY J\RNALI/IC /&>DS40 

,EV]Y ONE ( US JUMP$ UP ) RELIEF & CONGRATULAT$ HIM = HIS PR9CIPL$ /&4 ,BUT HE /ILL WANT$ A VOTE ( CONFID5CE4 0,S9CE ,I WAS ELECT$ BY ! /AFF1 ! F9AL DECISION HAS TO BE MADE BY ! /AFF4 ,I FEEL ?AT !SE >TICLES >E ( HI< QUALITY & ( GREAT PUBLIC 9T]E/ & ?AT EA* >TICLE EXPRESSES A DIFF]5T SIDE ( ! PROBLEM4 ,!RE=E ! QUE/ION IS :E!R OR NOT ! /AFF WANTS TO CONT9UE TO DO :AT IS P]FECTLY JU/IFIABLE FROM A J\RNALI/IC /&PO9T1 BUT MAY LEAD TO SEV]E CONSEQU5CES ! NATURE ( :I* IS UNKN[N TO US40 

,NONE ( US C\LD IMAG9E :AT ! 0SEV]E CONSEQU5CES0 MI<T BE1 & NO ONE WAS P>TICUL>LY WORRI$4 ,M9NIE & ,I /ILL HAD SEV]AL MORE 9T]VIEWS TO PUBLI% & ! VA/ MAJORITY ( ! /AFF VOT$ 9 FAVOR ( PUBLI%+ !M4 ,LEM & ,RHEA AB/A9$ FROM VOT+4 

,AFT] ALL \R >TICLES W]E PUBLI%$ WE ALL ?\<T ! CRISIS HAD BL[N OV]1 AL?\< ! CITY PAP]S CONT9U$ C>RY+ COMPLETELY MADE-UP ACC\NTS ( :O WE W]E & :AT WE DID4 

,AB\T TWO WEEKS AFT] MY LA/ >TICLE APPE>$1 TWO WEEKS DUR+ :I* !RE HADN'T BE5 ANY?+ REALLY 9T]E/+ 9 ! PAP]1 ! UNIV]SITY ADM9I/RATION /RUCK4 ,SOME?+ CALL$ A 0DIRECTIVE0 WAS RELEAS$ BY ! ADM9I/RATION TO ! CITY PRESS & ! /UD5T GOV]NM5T4 ,WE ALL GA!R$ 9 ! (FICE & READ ! /ATEM5T ) DISBELIEF4 ,M9NIE />T$ CRY+4 ,I FELT LIKE CRY+ TOO4 ,HU< SEEM$ ?UND]/RUCK & JU/ PAC$ BACK & =?4 

,ACCORD+ TO ?IS DIRECTIVE1 ! /UD5T NEWSPAP] W\LD BE 0GIV5 BACK0 TO ! /UD5T COMMUNITY AT ! 5D ( ?AT WEEK4 ,S9CE ! DIRECTIVE CAME \T ON A ,?URSDAY1 ?IS MEANT WE W\LD ONLY PUT \T ONE MORE ISSUE4 ,! DIRECTIVE W5T ON TO SAY ?AT 0AFT] A BRIEF DELAY1 COMPET5T J\RNALI/S SELECT$ FROM AMONG ! /UD5T BODY WILL RESUME PUBLICATION ( A NEWSPAP] ?AT REFLECTS ! 9T]E/S ( ! /UD5T COMMUNITY40 ,?IS S5T5CE SUGGE/$ ?AT WE W]E NEI!R COMPET5T NOR /UD5TS1 BUT IT ALSO SUGGE/$ SOME?+ MU* MORE OM9\S4 ,AS F> AS ANY ( US KNEW1 ! $ITORS ( ! UNIV]SITY'S NEWSPAP] HAD ALWAYS BE5 ELECT$ BY ! /AFF1 & ?IS WAS N[ GO+ TO 5D2 ! SELECT$ J\RNALI/S W\LD OBVI\SLY BE PEOPLE APPO9T$ BY ! ADM9I/RATION4 ,! /ATEM5T ALSO GAVE AWAY :AT K9D ( PEOPLE W]E GO+ TO $IT A PAP] ?AT 0REFLECTS ! 9T]E/S ( ! /UD5T COMMUNITY03 OBVI\SLY NOT PEOPLE LIKE ,LEM & ,RHEA :O 9 !IR [N EYES REFLECT$ ! 9T]E/S ( ! /UD5T COMMUNITY1 BUT RA!R PEOPLE :O REFLECT$ ?OSE 9T]E/S 9 ! ADM9I/RATIONS EYES1 NAMELY PEOPLE :O S]V$ ! ADM9I/RATION'S 9T]E/S1 /OOGES APPO9T$ BY ! ADM9I/RATION4 

,! DIRECTIVE W5T ON TO EXPLA9 ! REASONS = ?IS ACTION1 ,IT SAID ?AT 0A SELF-P]PETUAT+ CLIQUE ( RADICAL AGITATORS HAS TAK5 OV] ! PUBLICATION ( ! /UD5T NEWSPAP]1 !REBY 5DANG]+ ! $UCATION & WELL-BE+ ( ! /UD5T BODY & DO+ IRREP>ABLE DAMAGE TO ! UNIV]SITY'S PUBLIC IMAGE40 ,?IS /ATEM5T WAS NOT AN \TRI<T LIE4 ,IT WAS AU?ORITY'S WAY ( /AT+ ! TRU?4 0,SELF-P]PETUAT+0 SIMPLY MEANT ?AT WE ELECT$ \R [N $ITORS1 AS OPPOS$ TO ! NEW >RANGEM5T :I* 9TRODUC$ AN ADM9I/RATION-P]PETUAT$ CLIQUE4 ,BUT ! EXPRESSION 0SELF-P]PETUAT+ CLIQUE0 MADE ! ELECTORAL >RANGEM5T S\ND SO UND]H&$ & MANIPULATIVE4 

,IT WAS ALSO TRUE ?AT !RE W]E PROPORTIONALLY MANY MORE 0RADICALS0 ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF ?AN !RE W]E 9 ! /UD5T BODY AS A :OLE4 ,= ALL ,I KN[ EV]Y 0RADICAL0 9 ! UNIV]SITY AT ?AT TIME WAS ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF4 ,BUT IT'S P]FECTLY OBVI\S :Y ?IS %\LD HAVE BE5 ! CASE4 ,IT WAS A P]IOD :5 ALL SELF-EXPRESSION WAS BE+ FI]CELY REPRESS$4 ,?OSE FEW /UD5TS :O REFUS$ TO BE MUZZL$ W]E BY DEF9ITION 0RADICALS0 S9CE !Y W]E SWIMM+ AGA9/ ! /REAM4 ,!SE W]E ! ONLY /UD5TS :O TRI$ TO EXPRESS !MSELVES AT A TIME :5 SELF-EXPRESSION WAS TABOO1 & :]E %\LD !Y HAVE GONE IF NOT TO ! NEWSPAP] /AFF1 ! ONLY PLACE 9 ! UNIV]SITY :]E SELF-EXPRESSION WAS /ILL POSSIBLE8 ,! DIRECTIVE ALSO SAID ?AT ! PRES5T /AFF ( ! PAP] WAS NOT BE+ FIR$2 ON ! CONTR>Y1 ! /AFF WAS BE+ URG$ TO COOP]ATE ) ! NEW $ITORIAL BO>D TO MAKE ! PAP] 0A REPRES5TATIVE /UD5T NEWSPAP] :I* IS A POSITIVE ASSET TO ! UNIV]SITY COMMUNITY40 

,ALL ( US SKIPP$ \R CLASSES & SP5T ! DAY AT ! (FICE1 PLANN+ \R LA/ ISSUE4 ,I FELT AS IF A MAJOR HI/ORICAL EV5T HAD TAK5 PLACE1 AS IF A WORLD W> HAD JU/ BE5 DECL>$4 

,HU< SUGGE/$ ?AT EA* ( US WRITE AN $ITORIAL EXPRESS+ \R SIDE ( ! QUE/ION2 HE SAID ! BIAS ( ! LA/ ISSUE W\LD BE MORE ?AN COMP5SAT$ = BY ! FACT ?AT ALL ! ISSUES FROM !N ON W\LD EXPRESS ! O!R SIDE4 

,I SUGGE/$ ?AT BLACK BORD]S BE PLAC$ >\ND EV]Y PAGE1 EXPRESS+ ! FACT ?AT ! PRESS HAD JU/ DI$ AT ! UNIV]SITY4 ,BESS ,LA* WAS VIOL5TLY OPPOS$ TO ?IS4 0,JU/ BECAUSE WE WON'T BE ! $ITORS DOESN'T MEAN !RE WON'T BE A PAP]60 %E SAID4 ,SOMEONE CALL$ = A VOTE & EV]YONE BUT ,BESS WAS 9 FAVOR ( ! BLACK BORD]S4 

,RHEA SUGGE/$ ?AT WE USE ! FRONT PAGE TO CALL = A MASS DEMON/RATION AGA9/ ! SUPPRESSION ( ! PAP]4 ,BESS OBJECT$1 0,Y\ CAN'T USE ! S*OOL PAP] TO ADVOCATE A DEMON/RATION60 & ,HU< AGRE$4 ,I TRI$ TO >GUE ?AT WE W]E NO LONG] B\ND BY REGULATIONS ?AT ! UNIV]SITY ITSELF HAD JU/ BROK51 BUT ONLY ,LEM & ,RHEA AGRE$ ) ME4 

,SUDD5LY ,?UR/ON ,RAK%AS1 ( ALL PEOPLE1 MADE A SUGGE/ION ?AT SEEM$ TO BE SIMIL> TO ,RHEA'S1 AL?\< ,RHEA DIDN'T ?9K SO4 ,?UR/ON >GU$ ?AT IT WAS P]FECTLY LEGITIMATE TO ANN\NCE A COM+ EV5T1 S9CE ?IS WAS ONE ( ! PAP]'S FUNCTIONS4 ,WE C\LD ANN\NCE ?AT ON ,FRIDAY MORN+ ! =M] /AFF MEMB]S ( ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] W]E GO+ TO M>* 9 A FUN]AL PROCESSION ACROSS CAMPUS1 C>RY+ ! CORPSE ( ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] 9SIDE A C(F94 ,?AT UPP] CLASS D&Y ALWAYS DID HAVE A S5SE ( HUMOR4 ,I WAS IMM$IATELY FIR$ UP BY ! IDEA4 ,HU< & ,ALEC W]E ALSO 5?USIA/IC AB\T IT FROM ! />T4 ,M9NIE FAVOR$ SOME K9D ( DEMON/RATION BUT %E >GU$ ?AT A FUN]AL W\LD ONLY SUGGE/ ?AT WE HAD BE5 DEFEAT$ & HAD GIV5 UP ! /RUGGLE4 ,= ONCE ,LEM & ,RHEA AGRE$ ) ,M9NIE2 ,DAMAN OBVI\SLY DID TOO4 

,! >GUM5T AB\T ! NATURE ( ! DEMON/RATION WAS SIDETRACK$ BY ,BESS1 :O HAD WORK$ H]SELF UP 9TO A HY/]ICAL /ATE4 0,WE CAN ONLY EXPRESS \R OP9IONS ( ! UNIV]SITY DIRECTIVE6 ,WE CAN'T USE ?IS PAP] TO ADVOCATE ONE OR ANO!R C\RSE ( ACTION4 ,?AT'S A BETRAYAL ( \R TRU/6 ,IT'S A CRIME6 ,BY CALL+ = SU* A DEMON/RATION WE W\LD BE US+ ! PAP] AS \R [N PRIVATE ORGAN4 ,BUT ! PAP] DOESN'T BELONG TO US4 ,IT BELONGS TO ALL ! /UD5TS4 ,& IT WON'T BE DEAD JU/ BECAUSE SOME ( US NO LONG] WORK ON IT40 

,?UR/ON DEF5D$ HIS IDEA ( ANN\NC+ ! MOCK FUN]AL BY PO9T+ \T ?AT BY ! TIME IT TOOK PLACE ! PEOPLE TAK+ P>T 9 IT W\LD NO LONG] BE ! PAP]'S /AFF BUT M]ELY A GR\P ( ANONYM\S /UD5TS4 

,BESS %\T$ AT ,?UR/ON1 0,BUT WE'RE NOT ANONYM\S /UD5TS TODAY4 ,WE'RE ! $ITORIAL BO>D & /AFF ( ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP]1 & TODAY Y\ CAN'T TRANS=M ?IS PAP] 9TO AN 9/RUM5T = Y\R [N DEMON/RATION4 ,TOMORR[ Y\ CAN C>RY ALL ! C(F9S Y\ WANT60 

,?UR/ON ANGRILY CALL$ = A VOTE4 

,BESS %\T$1 0,IT'S NOT 9 \R JURISDICTION TO VOTE AB\T UNIV]SITY REGULATIONS60 

0,IT ISN'T80 ,?UR/ON ASK$4 0,WAT* ?IS6 ,ALL0 9 FAVOR ( ,BESS'S POSITION40 

,NO ONE VOT$ 9 FAVOR1 NOT EV5 ,BESS S9CE %E DISAPPROV$ ( ! VOTE4 

0,ALL 9 FAVOR ( M9E60 

,EV]YONE'S H& W5T UP EXCEPT ,BESS'S4 ,BUT ?AT WAS A SNEAKY MANEUV]4 ,?UR/ON HADN'T ONLY PUT AN 5D TO ,BESS'S OBJECTIONS2 HE HAD ALSO CLOS$ ! DISCUSSION ON ! NATURE ( ! DEMON/RATION4 ,WE W]E ALL AW>E ( ?IS BUT NO ONE REOP5$ ?AT DISCUSSION4 ,I SUPPOSE WE ALL KNEW ?AT IF WE SP5T ! DAY >GU+ WE W\LDN'T HAVE TIME TO PREP>E ANY K9D ( DEMON/RATION1 TO WRITE \R $ITORIALS OR TO PUT \T \R LA/ PAP]4 ,& ,I SUPPOSE ,M9NIE & ,RHEA CONSID]$ ,?UR/ON'S SUGGE/ION BETT] ?AN NO DEMON/RATION AT ALL4 

,BESS /ORM$ \T ( ! (FICE :ILE ,?UR/ON'S HA/ILY CALL$ VOTE WAS TAK+ PLACE4 ,%E RETURN$ LAT] 9 ! DAY1 BUT ONLY TO SUBMIT H] $ITORIAL4 ,%E DIDN'T TAKE P>T 9 ! WORK ON ! LA/ ISSUE4 

,LAT] 9 ! DAY ,RHEA SUGGE/$ ?AT WE RUN (F LEAFLETS ANN\NC+ ! DEMON/RATION & ?AT WE DI/RIBUTE !M TO ALL ! /UD5T DORMITORIES4 ,I WAS 9 FAVOR ( DO+ ?AT4 ,HU< OBJECT$ TO ?IS TYPE ( 0AGITATION0 BECAUSE ! V]Y NATURE ( ! DEMON/RATION REQUIR$ US TO BE 0DIGNIFI$ & RESPONSIBLE40 ,M9NIE SAID WE SIMPLY DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO DO ?AT1 & %E WAS RI<T4 

,WE WORK$ FEV]I%LY4 ,S9CE EV]YONE WAS COMPOS+ AN $ITORIAL1 NO ONE />T$ DO+ ! TYP+ & $IT+ UNTIL EV5+4 ,HU< DID ! LAY\T 9 ,BESS'S ABS5CE1 & AL?\< HE WAS AS GOOD AT IT AS %E1 HE WASN'T NE>LY AS FA/4 

,LATE ?AT NI<T ,RHEA MADE ANO!R SUGGE/ION4 ,%E SAID ! =M] /AFF %\LD />T PUBLI%+ AN (F-CAMPUS PAP] AS SOON AS POSSIBLE4 ,ONLY SU* AN ACT W\LD CL>IFY ! REAL SIGNIFICANCE ( ! BLACK BORD]S & ! FUN]AL PROCESSION4 ,! (FICIAL UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] W\LD HAVE DI$1 BUT NOT ! PEOPLE :O HAD GIV5 IT LIFE4 ,! CONTRA/ BETWE5 ! TWO PUBLICATIONS W\LD MAKE IT OBVI\S TO ALL ?AT ! PRESS WAS /ILL ALIVE 9 \R PUBLICATION1 :]EAS ! UNIV]SITY PAP] HAD BECOME A CORPSE4 

,I WAS MOV$ BY ,RHEA'S SUGGE/ION BUT NO ONE DISCUSS$ IT4 ,WE W]E SIMPLY TOO BUSY4 ,WE DIDN'T GET ! PAP] TO ! PR9T]'S UNTIL TWO 9 ! MORN+2 WE DIDN'T LEAVE ! PR9T]'S UNTIL FIVE1 & WE HAD TO GET UP AGA9 A FEW H\RS LAT] TO C>RY \T ! DEMON/RATION WE W]E ANN\NC+4 

,=TUNATELY1 :5 ,?UR/ON HAD MADE HIS SUGGE/ION HE HADN'T EXPECT$ ! RE/ ( US TO DO ! WORK ( IMPLEM5T+ IT4 ,?UR/ON HIMSELF WORK$ \T ! DETAILS ( HIS MOCK FUN]AL AFT] HE LEFT ! PR9T] AT FIVE 9 ! MORN+4 ,ONE ( HIS FA!R'S FRI5DS RAN A FUN]AL P>LOR4 ,?UR/ON W5T !RE AT SIX 9 ! MORN+ & EXPLA9$ TO ! UND]TAK] ?AT HE NE$$ A C(F9 AS WELL AS SEV]AL WREA?S & B\QUETS ( FL[]S = A !ATRICAL P]=MANCE4 ,HE DROVE ALL ! PROPS TO CAMPUS 9 A HE>SE4 

,ALL ( US EXCEPT ,BESS GA!R$ AT ! NEWSPAP] (FICE AT EI<T 9 ! MORN+1 BUT ! COPIES ( ! PAP] HADN'T BE5 DELIV]$ TO !IR BOXES YET BECAUSE ( H[ LATE WE'D GOTT5 ! LAY\T TO ! PR9T]4 ,! PAP]S DIDN'T >RIVE UNTIL N9E1 & WE SP5T ! H\R FRU/RAT$LY WAIT+ = !M1 S9CE \R 0FUN]AL0 W\LD HAVE BE5 9COMPREH5SIBLE )\T ANY EXPLANATIONS4 ,RHEA1 NATURALLY1 REM9D$ US ?AT LEAFLETS W\LD HAVE SOLV$ ?IS PROBLEM4 

,WE W]E ALL DEAD TIR$1 BUT WE />T$ \T FULL ( 5?USIASM4 ,?UR/ON CAME DRESS$ 9 A TUX$O & ,HU< WORE A BLACK SUIT & A COMICAL BLACK HAT4 ,DAMAN & ,M9NIE WALK$ 9 FRONT ( ! PROCESSION GIV+ \T COPIES ( ! NEWSPAP]4 ,HU<1 ,?UR/ON1 ,ALEC & ,LEM C>RI$ ! C(F91 :I* WAS COV]$ ) FL[]S4 ,RHEA & ,I WALK$ BEH9D ! C(F9 ) WREA?S4 ,WE WALK$1 V]Y SL[LY1 9 FRONT ( ALL ! ADM9I/RATIVE & ACADEMIC BUILD+S & 9 FRONT ( ALL ! DORMITORIES4 

,BUT \R 9ITIAL 5?USIASM DI$4 ,! MOCK FUN]AL WAS A BIG DISAPPO9TM5T1 EV5 TO ,?UR/ON4 ,/UD5TS W\LD PAUSE BRIEFLY1 />E AT ! PAP]1 />E AT US1 & !N CONT9UE ALONG !IR V>I$ PA?S4 ,! MA9 RESPONSE WAS AN ICY 9DIFF]5CE4 ,SOME /UD5TS SAID ?+S LIKE1 0,GO BACK :]E Y\ CAME FROM60 & 0,:O DO Y\ ?9K Y\'RE FOOL+80 ,NOT ONE /UD5T SAID ANY?+ SYMPA!TIC4 ,I HAD HOP$ !RE'D BE A MILE-LONG PROCESSION1 BUT NOT ONE /UD5T JO9$ US4 ,I DON'T ?9K ! FAULT LAY ) ,?UR/ON'S IDEA4 ,! EI<T ( US W\LD HAVE LOOK$ EV5 MORE RIDICUL\S IF WE HAD ANN\NC$ A 0MASS DEMON/RATION0 9/EAD ( ! 0FUN]AL40 

,AFT] WALK+ = TWO H\RS :I* SEEM$ AS LONG AS TWO YE>S1 ! 0PROCESSION0 RETURN$ TO ITS />T+ PO9T & ! C(F9 WAS TAK5 9TO ! $ITOR'S (FICE4 ,LEM & ,ALEC CAME BACK \T1 BUT ,HU< & ,?UR/ON /AY$ 9SIDE ! $ITOR'S (FICE & CLOS$ ! DOOR4 ,I LAY D[N ON ! B5*4 ,I4 WAS EXHAU/$ & ,I FELT LIKE CRY+4 

,M9NIE ASK$ IF WE HAD ALL READ ! MANAG+ $ITOR'S F9AL /ATEM5T4 ,I LAZILY PICK$ UP ! PAP] & />T$ LEAF+ ?R\< IT4 ,I ?\<T ,I HAD SE5 ALL ! >TICLES ! NI<T BE=E1 :5 ,I'D $IT$ ! COPY1 BUT ,I REMEMB]$ ,I HADN'T SE5 ,BESS'S $ITORIAL4 

0,Y\ DON'T HAVE TO HUNT = IT4 ,SOPHIE4 ,IT'S RI<T ON ! FRONT PAGE10 ,M9NIE TOLD ME4 

,I SAT UP4 ,I WAS FURI\S4 ,! HEADL9E 9 ! MIDDLE ( ! FRONT PAGE SAID1 0,%ADES ( ,GRAY40 ,! FIR/ L9E ( ,BESS'S $ITORIAL SAID1 0,!RE IS NO 0BLACK & :ITE2 !RE >E ONLY %ADES ( GRAY40 ,?AT DIDN'T APPLY TO ! UNIV]SITY'S DIRECTIVE1 :I* IS :AT H] >TICLE WAS AB\T4 ,H] NEXT /ATEM5T SAID1 0,!RE >E SOME >GUM5TS 9 FAVOR ( ! /AFF'S PO9T ( VIEW1 BUT !RE >E ALSO >GUM5TS 9 FAVOR ( ! ADM9I/RATION'S PO9T ( VIEW40 ,! >GUM5T 9 FAVOR ( ! /AFF WAS ?AT ! /AFF HAD CONSI/$ ( 0RELATIVELY COMPET5T J\RNALI/S0 & ?AT ! COV]AGE HAD 09 G5]AL BE5 RESPONSIBLE & FAIR4 ,BUT RESPONSIBILITY & FAIRNESS BROKE D[N :5 SOME /AFF MEMB]S 5GAG$ !MSELVES 9 AN ANTI-MILIT>Y CAMPAIGN40 ,ACCORD+ TO ,BESS ! $ITORS1 09CLUD+ ! UND]SIGN$ MANAG+ $ITOR10 CONV9C$ !MSELVES ?AT BY PR9T+ >TICLES FAVORABLE TO ! G5]AL & HIS FILES ALONGSIDE >TICLES HO/ILE TO ! G5]AL1 ! PAP] WAS EXPRESS+ BO? SIDES ( ! QUE/ION4 ,BUT ?OSE W]E NOT REALLY TWO SIDES ( ! QUE/ION2 ACCORD+ TO ,BESS !Y W]E ! SAME SIDE1 S9CE ! ADM9I/RATION HAD MADE IT CLE> ?AT BO? TYPES ( >TICLES CREAT$ AN IMAGE :I* DAMAG$ ! UNIV]SITY4 0,YET ! $ITORS & /AFF VOT$ 9 FAVOR ( EXCLUD+ ! ADM9I/RATION'S SIDE40 

,I ASK$1 0,:O PUT ?IS G>BAGE ON ! FRONT PAGE80 

,ALEC ANSW]$1 0,HU< TYP$ IT4 $IT$ IT & LAID IT \T 9 ! MIDDLE ( ! FRONT PAGE SO ?AT ! LA/ ISSUE W\LDN'T SPOIL ! PAP]'S TRADITION ( FAIRNESS40 

0,BUT IT'S FULL ( DI/ORTIONS & \TRI<T LIES60 ,I SAID4 

0,HU< MU/ HAVE KN[N WE'D ALL WANT TO LEAVE IT \T10 ,ALEC SAID4 0,?AT'S :Y HE DIDN'T LET US SEE IT BE=E PUTT+ IT 9 ! MIDDLE ( ! FRONT PAGE40 

,I FELT LIKE VOMIT+4 ,I HAD NOT ONLY HOP$ ?AT A MILE-LONG PROCESSION W\LD FOLL[ \R C(F94 ,I HAD ALSO HOP$ ?AT \R C\RSE ( ACTION W\LD SOMEH[ BE V]Y CLE> :5 ! DEMON/RATION 5D$1 ?AT WE W\LD KN[ :AT WE HAD TO DO NEXT4 ,BUT NO?+ WAS CLE> EXCEPT ?AT MY PROJECT WAS OV]4 ,IT HAD 5D$ AS ABRUPTLY AS MY ACTIVITY AT ! C>TON PLANT HAD 5D$ :5 WE W]E >RE/$4 ,& AT ?AT MOM5T ,I BLAM$ ,HU< = ! FAILURE ( ! DEMON/RATION3 ,I CONV9C$ MYSELF WE W\LD HAVE HAD SUPPORT1 & LOTS ( IT1 IF ,BESS'S UGLY >GUM5T HADN'T APPE>$ 9 ! MIDDLE ( ! FRONT PAGE4 

,BUT 9/EAD ( /ORM+ 9TO ,HU<'S (FICE1 ,I LAY BACK D[N & CLOS$ MY EYES4 ,MY EXHAU/ION WAS GREAT] ?AN MY ANG]4 ,I MU/ HAVE DOZ$ BECAUSE ,I WASN'T AW>E UNTIL LAT] ?AT A /RANGE SEQU5CE ( EV5TS HAD BEGUN TO TAKE PLACE4 ,HU< & ,?UR/ON HAD BE5 9 ! $ITOR'S (FICE = OV] AN H\R4 ,I VAGUELY KNEW ?AT AT SOME PO9T ,?UR/ON HAD ASK$ ,DAMAN AS WELL AS ,ALEC TO JO9 !M 9 ! (FICE & ?AT SOMETIME LAT] ,LEM WAS CALL$ 9 AS WELL4 ,BUT ,I DIDN'T RESPOND TO ! /RANGE FACT ?AT ,RHEA1 ,M9NIE & ,I W]E LEFT \TSIDE1 ,I ASLEEP1 ,M9NIE & ,RHEA WOND]+ :AT WAS GO+ ON BUT F> TOO HO/ILE T[>D EA* O!R TO />T A CONV]SATION4 

,I WOKE UP :5 ,ALEC /ORM$ \T ( ! $ITOR'S (FICE & SLAMM$ ! DOOR BEH9D HIM4 

0,:AT 9 HELL IS GO+ ON 9 !RE8 ,:AT'S ALL ! %\T+ AB\T1 & :Y >5'T WE 9 ON IT80 ,M9NIE ASK$ HIM4 

,ALEC SAT D[N NEXT TO ME4 ,I C\LD SEE HE WAS AGITAT$4 0,W]E Y\ FI<T+ 9 !RE AB\T ?AT DUMB $ITORIAL80 ,I ASK$4 

0,I'LL TELL Y\ EXACTLY :AT'S GO+ ON 9 !RE60 HE SAID4 0,IT'S ! DIRTIE/ %IT ,I'VE EV] SE54 ,HU< & ,?UR/ON HAD WORK$ \T A FIL?Y /RATEGY :5 ,DAMAN & ,I W]E CALL$ 94 ,I MADE SU* A /9K AB\T IT ?AT !Y DROPP$ IT4 ,BUT !N ,?UR/ON CONV9C$ ALL F\R ( !M TO ACCEPT AN EV5 FIL?I] S*EME1 SO ,I WALK$ \T40 

0,CAN Y\ HOLD Y\RSELF TOGE!R 5\< TO TELL US AB\T IT80 ,M9NIE ASK$ HIM4 

0,?UR/ON HAD ?IS IDEA ?AT WE \<T TO PUBLI% AN (F-CAMPUS PAP] --0 ,ALEC BEGAN4 

,RHEA 9T]RUPT$ HIM TO SAY1 0,?AT WASN'T ,?UR/ON'S IDEA2 IT WAS M9E1 ,ALEC60 

0,SO IT WAS6 ,I REMEMB] ?AT N[4 ,SOPHIE WAS ! ONLY ONE :O RESPOND$ :5 Y\ SUGGE/$ IT4 ,?AT WAS Y\R IDEA4 ,GOD DAMN !M60 ,SAY+ ?IS1 ,ALEC %OOK HIS FI/ AT ! DOOR ( ! $ITOR'S (FICE4 0,WELL1 !Y /OLE IT FROM Y\1 ,RHEA4 ,?AT'S :AT HAPP5$4 ,?UR/ON LOVES Y\R IDEA1 BUT HE DOESN'T WANT Y\ TO BE P>T ( IT4 ,HE CONV9C$ ,HU< ?AT IF Y\ & ,LEM W]E BO? ON ! /AFF HE1 ,?UR/ON1 W\LD SOON QUIT1 ,HU< W\LD BE \TNUMB]$1 & ! PAP] W\LD BECOME A PROPAG&A %EET1 & :5 ,?UR/ON SAYS PROPAG&A %EET HE MAKES IT S\ND LIKE TOILET PAP] ) %IT ON IT4 ,EV5 IF HE DIDN'T SAY IT ?AT WAY1 Y\ KN[ ?AT ,HU< MU/ HAVE NI<TM>ES AB\T BE+ CAU<T 9 A PAP] ?AT'S BIAS$4 ,FAIR & RESPONSIBLE4 ,HE'S GOT ?OSE DAMN$ WORDS ET*$ ON HIS BRA94 ,HE ?9KS HE'S /ILL $IT+ ! UNIV]SITY PAP]4 ,:5 !Y CALL ,DAMAN & ME 91 ,?UR/ON TELLS US WE'RE GO+ TO PUT \T ?IS (F-CAMPUS PAP]1 ALL ( US EXCEPT ,LEM & ,RHEA4 ,I ASK :AT'S WRONG ) ,LEM & ,RHEA4 ,?AT FUCK] ,DAMAN GR9S & DOESN'T SAY ANY?+4 ,I TELL ,HU< & ,?UR/ON ,I DON'T UND]/&4 ,HU<1 TELLS ME ?IS %IT AB\T NOT PUTT+ \T A PROPAG&A %EET & !N ,I DO UND]/&4 ,I />T %\T+ & TELL+ ,HU< & ,?UR/ON TO CRAWL TO ! ADM9I/RATION1 ASK TO BE =GIV5 & BEG TO BE REHIR$ ON ! ADM9I/RATION-RUN PAP]4 ,I TELL !M !Y'RE AB\T TO DO TO ,LEM & ,RHEA EXACTLY :AT ! ADM9I/RATION JU/ DID TO US4 ,HU< PRET5DS HE'D NEV] ?\<T ( ?AT1 & SAYS ,I'M RI<T4 ,I >GUE ?AT IF WE'RE GO+ TO PUT \T ?AT K9D ( %EET1 WE'VE GOT TO 9CLUDE EV]Y S+LE MEMB] ( ! FIR$ /AFF1 EV5 ,BESS IF %E'S NOT AB\T TO SELL \T TO ! ADM9I/RATION'S /AFF4 ,AT ?AT PO9T ,?UR/ON CALLS ,LEM 9TO ! (FICE & ,I'M UND] ! IMPRESSION ?AT ,I WON ! >GUM5T4 ,BUT ?AT ,?UR/ON IS AS SLIPP]Y AS A FI%4 ,HE EXPLA9S ! IDEA TO ,LEM & !N TELLS HIM ?AT ALL ! M5 ON ! /AFF >E GO+ TO PUT \T ! (F-CAMPUS PAP]4 ,?AT BLOCKHEAD ,LEM SAYS ?AT HE UND]/&S ?AT6 ,HE />TS TALK+ AB\T H[ DANG]\S IT IS TO PUBLI% :AT HE CALLS AN UND]GR\ND NEWSPAP] -- MU* TOO DANG]\S = WOM54 ,?UR/ON HAS TO COOL ,LEM D[N :5 HE />TS TALK+ AB\T A REVOLUTION>Y UND]GR\ND NEWSPAP]4 ,I %\T AT ,LEM & CALL HIM A /UPID AS%OLE4 ,I TELL HIM ?AT A M9UTE AGO IT WAS HE :O WAS BE+ EXCLUD$4 ,BUT ,I CAN SEE ?AT HE'S 5*ANT$ AB\T BE+ 9CLUD$4 ,LEM MAY BE Y\R COMRADE & ALL ?AT1 ,RHEA1 BUT Y\ CAN'T D5Y ?AT ! FUCK] IS DUMB6 ,:AT *EAP %IT6 ,I CAN SEE RI<T ?R\< IT6 ,?UR/ON ?9KS ,LEM & ,DAMAN WON'T EV] VOTE ON ! SAME SIDE4 ,?AT MEANS ! VOTE WILL ALWAYS BE ?REE TO TWO1 & ,?UR/ON & ,HU< WILL ALWAYS BE ON ! W9N+ SIDE4 ,IF ! ?REE ( Y\ W]E 9CLUD$ ! VOTE W\LD USUALLY GO ! O!R WAY4 ,?AT'S :Y !Y'RE LEAV+ Y\ \T & ?AT'S :Y ,I'M WALK+ \T4 ,)\T ME ! VOTE WILL ALWAYS BE ?REE TO ONE4 ,!Y CAN HAVE IT60 

0,DIDN'T ,DAMAN SAY ANY?+80 ,M9NIE ASK$4 

0,!Y CAN HAVE ?AT BA/>D TOO60 ,ALEC SAID4 0,NO1 HE DIDN'T SAY A WORD4 ,HE RU/ SAT !RE & LI/5$4 ,?AT'S :Y !Y WANT$ HIM 9 !RE 9/EAD ( Y\40 

,ALEC SQUEEZ$ MY H& & SAID TO ME1 0,I'LL TALK TO Y\ SOME O!R TIME1 ,SOPHIE4 ,I CAN'T /& ?IS PLACE = ONE SECOND LONG]40 ,HE WALK$ \T ( ! (FICE4 ,I />T$ TO CRY4 

,! DOOR ( ! $ITOR'S (FICE OP5$ & ,LEM /EPP$ \T1 GR9N+1 LOOK+ AS IF HE W]E 9T5TIONALLY TRY+ TO CONFIRM ,ALEC'S *>ACT]IZATION ( HIM4 0,! PRESS IS DEAD6 ,LONG LIVE ! PRESS60 ,LEM %\T$4 ,! ?REE ( US DIDN'T RESPOND4 ,WE />$ AT HIM ) 9T5SE HO/ILITY4 ,HE CONT9U$1 REVOLT+LY SELF-SATISFI$3 0,I'D LIKE TO ANN\NCE ! BIR? ( A NEW PUBLICATION \T ( ! WOMB ( ! OLD4 ,IT WILL BE AN UND]GR\ND NEWSPAP]1 & TWO NAMES W]E UND] CONSID]ATION3 ,! ,SP>K1 SUGGE/$ BY ME1 & ,OMISSIONS1 SUGGE/$ BY ,HU<4 ,! MAJORITY VOT$ 9 FAVOR ( ,OMISSIONS BECAUSE ! SPECIFIC TASK ( ?IS UND]GR\ND NEWSPAP] WILL BE TO PUBLI% ! NEWS :I* WILL FROM N[ ON BE OMITT$ FROM ! CRIPPL$ (FICIAL NEWSPAP]40 

0,?AT'S A P]FECT TITLE = IT10 ,I TOLD HIM4 0,IT BEGAN ITS C>E] BY OMITT+ HALF ! PEOPLE :O \<T TO BE ON IT40 

,RHEA GOT UP & />T$ WALK+ SL[LY T[>D ,LEM4 ,%E LOOK$ AS IF %E 9T5D$ TO /RANGLE HIM4 ,:5 %E WAS A FOOT AWAY FROM HIM %E SAID1 ?R\< H] TEE? & ) H] M\? NE>LY %UT1 0,IT WAS MY IDEA TO PUBLI% ?AT PAP]40 ,!N %E />T$ TREMBL+4 ,I ASK$ H] IF %E WAS ALL RI<T4 ,%E WALK$ \T ( ! (FICE1 H] EYES R$ ) RAGE4 ,%E LOOK$ HY/]ICAL4 

,TODAY ,I ?9K IT /RANGE ?AT ,LEM & ,RHEA W]E SO COMMITT$ TO ?AT PAP]4 ,! PROJECT :I* IT WAS TO C>RY \T HAD MU* MORE 9 COMMON ) MY \TLOOK ?AN ) !IRS4 ,IT WAS ,I :O WAS 9 FAVOR ( PR9T+ OMITT$ FACTS & LETT+ SC&AL\S 9=MATION SPEAK = ITSELF4 ,LETT+ FACTS SPEAK = !MSELVES & LETT+ READ]S DRAW !IR [N CONCLUSIONS CONFLICT$ ) ,LEM'S & ,RHEA'S POLITICAL COMMITM5TS4 

,AS SOON AS ,RHEA WAS GONE ,LEM TURN$ T[>D ME & TRI$ TO EXPLA9 ?AT IT HADN'T BE5 HIS IDEA TO EXCLUDE ANYONE4 ,?IS HAD ALREADY BE5 DECID$ )\T HIM4 ,& !N HE W5T ON TO TALK AB\T ! DANG]S ( PUBLI%+ & DI/RIBUT+ AN 0UND]GR\ND0 NEWSPAP]3 0,C\NT]-REVOLUTION>IES MI<T ATTACK ! NEWSPAP] HEADQU>T]S AT ANY TIME ( DAY OR NI<T2 GOONS MI<T ATTACK US :ILE WE'RE DI/RIBUT+ IT40 ,I TURN$ MY BACK TO HIM & HE LEFT ! NEWSPAP] (FICE4 

,DAMAN CAME \T ( ! $ITOR'S (FICE LOOK+ LIKE A DOG ?AT HAD JU/ BE5 BEAT51 %UFFL+ HIS FEET1 HIS HEAD BOBB+ FROM SIDE TO SIDE4 ,?UR/ON CAME \T BEH9D ,DAMAN1 SLAPP$ HIM ON ! BACK1 SAID1 0,SEE Y\ NEXT WEEK5D10 & RU%$ \T ( ! (FICE ) A VICTORI\S GR9 SME>$ ACROSS HIS FACE4 

,M9NIE WALK$ T[>D ,DAMAN1 %\T$1 0,Y\ TRAITOR10 HIT HIM TWICE ACROSS ! FACE SO H>D ?AT ,I JUMP$ UP BO? TIMES1 & %E TOO RU%$ \T ( ! (FICE4 

,I REMA9$ ON ! B5*1 />+ AT ! TYPEWRIT] ,I HAD US$ SO MANY TIMES4 ,I TURN$ >\ND :5 ,I HE>D ,HU< COME \T ( :AT HAD BE5 HIS (FICE EV] S9CE ,I'D BE5 ON ! /AFF4 ,HE WAS SURPRIS$ TO SEE ME4 ,9 HIS >MS HE HELD A L>GE BUNDLE ( PAP]S HE HAD COLLECT$4 ,HE HAD TE>S 9 HIS EYES4 ,LOOK+ AWAY FROM ME HE SAID1 0,I'M AWFULLY SORRY40 ,HE WALK$ AWAY SL[LY4 ,HE WAS JU/ ANO!R /UD5T N[4 ,TO ME HE WAS /ILL ! $ITOR4 

,I WAS ALONE ) ! TYPEWRIT]S1 ! U-%AP$ DESK 9 ! MIDDLE ( ! ROOM1 ! DOORS TO ! $ITOR'S & MANAG+ $ITOR'S (FICES1 ! PAGES TACK$ TO ! WALLS ) ]RORS CIRCL$ 9 R$4 ,I CRI$4 ,I WAS GO+ TO MISS ! TYPEWRIT]1 ! DESK1 ! WALLS & ! PEOPLE ) :OM ,I HAD SP5T SO MANY HECTIC DAYS4 ,I HADN'T FELT SO LONELY1 SO EXCLUD$ S9CE ! NI<T ,I HAD GONE TO ! BEA* ) ,RON & ,SAB9A & HAD WALK$ HOME BY MYSELF AFT] ,RON WRECK$ HIS FA!R'S C>4 

,I />T$ TO ?9K !Y W\LD ALL MISS ?IS (FICE4 ,& !N ! ?\<T PASS$ ?R\< MY M9D ?AT ,ALEC HADN'T TOLD US ! TRU? AB\T ! MEET+ ?AT HAD JU/ TAK5 PLACE 9 ,HU<'S (FICE4 ,I CONV9C$ MYSELF ?AT !Y HADN'T WANT$ TO EXCLUDE ,RHEA1 BUT RA!R ,M9NIE & ME1 & ?AT ,RHEA HAD 0BE5 EXCLUD$ ) US JU/ = ! SAKE ( APPE>ANCES4 ,!Y HAD ALL TURN$ AGA9/ ,M9NIE & ME BECAUSE WE W]E ! ONES :O HAD PROVOK$ ! REPRESSION ) \R >TICLES4 ,I CONV9C$ MYSELF WE W]E BE+ BLAM$ = HAV+ DE/ROY$ ! PAP] = EV]YONE ELSE4 ,I SIMPLY C\LDN'T ACCEPT ,ALEC'S EXPLANATION ( MY EXCLUSION4 ,I C\LDN'T MAKE MYSELF BELIEVE ?AT ,I HAD BE5 EXCLUD$ FROM ! 0UND]GR\ND0 PAP] BECAUSE ,?UR/ON WAS C\NT+ VOTES4 ,I C\LDN'T ACCEPT SU* AN EXPLANATION BECAUSE ! EXCLUSION MEANT SO MU* TO ME & ! MOTIVES = IT W]E SO PETTY4 ,MY EXCLUSION FROM ,OMISSIONS BY MY [N FRI5DS WAS MU* MORE PA9FUL TO ME ?AN MY EXCLUSION FROM ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] BY ! ADM9I/RATION4 ,NOT ONLY BECAUSE ! NEWE/ EXCLUSION WAS SO P]SONAL BUT BECAUSE ,OMISSIONS WAS A PROJECT BE+ LAUN*$ BY ! PEOPLE :O W]E GO+ TO 5GAGE 9 IT1 :]EAS ! UNIV]SITY PAP] WAS AN 9/ITUTION ?AT HAD EXI/$ BE=E ANY ( US HAD EV] JO9$ IT2 IT WAS NOT \R PROJECT4 ,I WAS HURT BECAUSE ,OMISSIONS WAS PRECISELY ! K9D ( PROJECT ,I HAD HOP$ ,I'D F9D :5 ,I FIR/ 5ROLL$ 9 ! UNIV]SITY4 ,IT SEEM$ TO ME !N ?AT ?IS PROJECT WAS ID5TICAL TO ! PROJECT ,I HAD TAK5 P>T 9 YE>S E>LI]1 ) Y\ & ,JASNA & ! O!RS AT ! C>TON PLANT1 :5 WE =MULAT$ \R [N GOALS & /RATEGIES1 PR9T$ \R [N PO/]S1 DI/RIBUT$ !M \RSELVES4 ,I WAS EXCLUD$ FROM ! ONLY G5U9E COMMUNITY ,I HAD F\ND H]E1 ! SECOND COMMUNITY ,I HAD F\ND 9 MY :OLE LIFE4 

,I N[ RECOGNIZE ! VALIDITY ( Y\R CRITIQUE ( MY E>LI] ACTIVITY4 ,I DIDN'T UND]/& ! CONTEXT 9 :I* IT TOOK PLACE & ,I WASN'T AW>E ( ! MOTIVES ?AT ANIMAT$ ! PEOPLE >\ND ME4 ,BUT ,I DON'T ?9K Y\ CAN IMPUTE !IR MOTIVES TO ME4 ,! ACTIVITY 9 ! C>TON PLANT WAS NOT A RUNG ( A BUREAUCRATIC LADD] = ME1 & UNLIKE ,V]A & ,M>C1 ,I HAV5'T RIS5 9 ANY HI]>*Y4 ,MY DESIRE TO P>TICIPATE ON ,OMISSIONS WASN'T MOTIVAT$ BY BUREAUCRATIC AMBITIONS4 ,I WAS PA9$ BY MY EXCLUSION NOT BECAUSE IT DEPRIV$ ME ( OPPORTUNITIES OR COM=TS BUT BECAUSE IT DEPRIV$ ME ( A PROJECT1 ( A COMMUNITY1 ( G5U9ELY 9DEP5D5T ACTIVITY4 ,I SAT 9 ?AT (FICE & CRI$ BECAUSE MY PROJECT ) Y\1 ,JASNA1 ,V]A & ,M>C WAS GO+ TO REMA9 ! ONLY G5U9E PROJECT 9 :I* ,I HAD TAK5 P>T4 

,I UND]/& ,JASNA'S N>RATIVE4 ,I'VE EV5 EXT5D$ IT BY TELL+ Y\ :O ,DAMAN WAS & :AT HE HAS BECOME4 ,I'M SURE ,I'D BE EQUALLY DISAPPO9T$ IF ,I LE>N$ :AT ! O!R PEOPLE ON ?AT NEWSPAP] /AFF W]E DO+ TODAY4 ,BUT ?AT'S NOT ! PO9T4 ,MY PO9T IS ?AT ! ACTIVITY ,I WANT$ TO %>E ) !M WAS NOT COMPOS$ ( !IR *>ACT] TRAITS1 ANY MORE ?AN ! ACTIVITY AT ! C>TON PLANT WAS COMPOS$ ( ,M>C'S OR ,V]A'S BUREAUCRATIC AMBITIONS1 & NO MATT] :AT !Y'VE BECOME ,I S9CE !N1 Y\ CAN'T TAKE AWAY FROM ME :AT ,I EXP]I5C$ ,I BECAUSE :AT ,I EXP]I5C$ WAS MY PROJECT1 NOT !IR AMBITIONS4 

,:AT ,I DON'T SEEM ABLE TO CONVEY TO Y\ IS ?AT :AT ,I S\<T ALL MY LIFE IS SOME?+ ?AT'S COMPLETELY MY [N4 ,IT'S A SIGNIFICANT PROJECT )9 ! CONTEXT ( A COMMUNITY4 ,:5 ,I TELL Y\ ?AT ,I LE>N$ AB\T ! POSSIBILITY ( SU* A PROJECT & SU* A COMMUNITY DUR+ ?OSE DAYS ,I SP5T ) Y\1 ,I'M M]ELY TELL+ Y\ A FACT AB\T MYSELF1 A DETAIL ( MY BIOGRAPHY2 ,I'M NOT TELL+ ?IS TO Y\ 9 ORD] TO GLORIFY ?OSE SPECIFIC PEOPLE NOR ?AT SPECIFIC PROJECT4 ,! REASON ,I FELT SO MIS]ABLE :5 ,I WAS EXCLUD$ FROM ! (F-CAMPUS PAP] WAS BECAUSE ,I WAS DEPRIV$ ( SOME?+ ,I HAD LE>N$ TO WANT MANY YE>S E>LI]4 ,IT HAD NO?+ TO DO ) ,V]A'S OR ,M>C'S TITLES4 ,IT HAD TO DO ) ACTIVITY & ) HUMAN RELATION%IPS4 ,:AT ,I LE>N$ TO WANT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE RELAT$ TO PO/]S OR NEWSPAP]S4 ,AFT] MY EXCLUSION FROM ,OMISSIONS ,I BECAME DESP]ATE & ,I LEAP$ FROM ONE WORLD ( ACTIVITY TO ANO!R 9 SE>* ( SU* A PROJECT & SU* A COMMUNITY4 ,I S\<T IT ) ,ALEC )9 ! UNIV]SITY ITSELF1 & WE BO? GOT EXPELL$ FROM S*OOL2 ,I S\<T IT BY TRY+ TO CORRESPOND ) Y\1 & FAIL$ TO REA* Y\2 ,I S\<T IT 9 A FICTIONAL WORLD ?AT ,I MYSELF 9V5T$1 BUT ,I NEV] F9I%$ MY NOVEL2 F9ALLY ,I W5T TO ! UND]WORLD :]E ,SAB9A & H] ,M5DS W]E LIV+1 /ILL SEEK+ ! K9D ( LIFE ,I HAD LE>N$ TO WANT DUR+ ?OSE FULL FEW DAYS ,I SP5T ) Y\ TW5TY YE>S AGO4 

,IT WAS D>K :5 ,I F9ALLY DRAGG$ MYSELF \T ( ! NEWSPAP] (FICE & BACK TO ! CO-OP4 ,I FELL ASLEEP AS SOON AS ,I GOT TO MY ROOM & ,I SLEPT ?R\< MO/ ( ! FOLL[+ DAY1 A ,SATURDAY4 ,ALEC CAME %ORTLY AFT] ,I WOKE UP4 ,WE HAD SUPP] 9 A SMALL RE/AURANT & !N WE TOOK A WALK >\ND ! CAMPUS4 ,IT WAS E>LY SPR+1 AS IT IS N[4 ,! CAMPUS WAS DES]T$4 ,WE ME*ANICALLY RETRAC$ ! PA? ( ! PREVI\S DAY'S FUN]AL PROCESSION4 

,= A LONG TIME WE JU/ WALK$ SIL5TLY4 ,!N ,ALEC />T$ TO EXPRESS ?\<TS ?AT P]FECTLY E*O$ MY [N4 0,IT'S FUNNY10 HE SAID2 0,I ALWAYS ?\<T PUTT+ \T ?AT PAP] WAS A LOT ( H>D WORK & ,I NEV] ?\<T ALL ( IT WAS SU* GREAT FUN4 ,SOMETIMES ,I EV5 WOND]$ IF IT WAS WOR? ALL ?AT WORK4 ,BUT N[ ?AT IT'S OV] ,I DON'T ?9K ,I'LL BE ABLE TO /& IT >\ND H]E40 

0,I KN[ ,I WON'T10 ,I SAID4 0,I KN[ ,I'LL HATE IT40 

,WE SAT D[N ON ! /EPS ( ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+1 ! V]Y SAME /EPS ON :I* ! /RIK+ /UD5TS SAT A FEW DAYS AGO :5 ,DAMAN LECTUR$ TO !M AB\T ! PO9T ( PRODUCTION4 

0,:Y DON'T WE DO SOME?+ TOGE!R1 JU/ Y\ & ,I80 ,ALEC ASK$4 

0,I WAS JU/ ?9K+ ! SAME ?+10 ,I SAID4 0,I WAS ?9K+ AB\T ?AT MILIT>Y PR(ESSOR & HIS FILES40 

0,Y\ MEAN WRIT+ MORE >TICLES AB\T HIM8 ,I'M SICK ( ?AT10 ,ALEC SAID4 

0,BUT Y\ DIDN'T WRITE A S+LE ONE ( ! >TICLES10 ,I REM9D$ HIM1 LAU<+4 0,NO1 ,I WASN'T ?9K+ ( MORE >TICLES4 ,I WAS ?9K+ ?AT Y\ & ,I C\LD SIT 9 ON ONE ( HIS CLASSES & ASK HIM QUE/IONS AB\T HIS FILES40 ,?AT WASN'T REALLY SU* A D>+ SUGGE/ION4 ,9 REC5T YE>S /UD5TS HAVE PLANT$ BOMBS 9 SU* FILES4 

,ALEC WAS 5*ANT$ BY MY SUGGE/ION4 0,?AT W\LD DRIVE HIM UP A WALL60 HE SAID4 0,HE MI<T EV5 TRY TO EXT]M9ATE A C\PLE ( R$S RI<T 9 ! CLASSROOM4 ,DOESN'T ?AT FRI<T5 Y\80 

0,Y\ JU/ SAID Y\ W\LDN'T BE ABLE TO /& IT >\ND H]E IF WE DIDN'T DO SOME?+ LIKE ?AT10 ,I REM9D$ HIM4 

,ALEC GOT ALL EXCIT$4 0,IF ?AT WORKS \T1 WE C\LD GO VISIT SOME O!R CLASSES & DO ! SAME ?+4 ,I CAN ?9K ( AT LEA/ A DOZ5 :]E ,I'D LIKE TO DO ?AT4 ,?OSE SMUG BA/>DS >E ALWAYS ASK+ IF ANYONE HAS QUE/IONS1 & !Y'RE US$ TO HE>+ SOME PIP-SQUEAK SAY HE DIDN'T HAVE A *ANCE TO WRITE D[N EV]Y ONE ( ! PR(ESSOR'S WORDS4 ,WE'LL GIVE !M QUE/IONS4 ,GOD DAMN IT1 MAYBE SOME O!R /UD5TS WILL LE>N H[ TO ASK QUE/IONS4 ,?IS PLACE W\LD HAVE TO %UT D[N60 

,WE CONT9U$ SPECULAT+ AB\T ! POSSIBLE EFFECTS ( \R ACTIVITY UNTIL LATE 9TO ! NI<T4 ,WE DECID$ TO LAUN* \R PROJECT ! FOLL[+ ,MONDAY4 

,WE DIDN'T TALK AB\T ! K9DS ( QUE/IONS WE'D ASK NOR AB\T :AT WE'D DO IF WE W]E ?R[N \T OR IF ! PR(ESSOR DIDN'T CALL ON US4 ,WE DIDN'T PREP>E A S+LE ?+4 ,WE SIMPLY DECID$ TO SIT 9 ON ! G5]AL'S CLASS4 ,?AT ,MONDAY ,I DECID$ TO SKIP ALL MY CLASSES AGA94 ,:5 ,ALEC CAME = ME AT ! CO-OP1 ,I C\LD SEE ?AT HE WAS AS N]V\S AS ,I4 ,WE H>DLY SPOKE TO EA* O!R4 ,WE F\ND ! ROOM :]E ! G5]AL'S CLASS WAS SUPPOS$ TO TAKE PLACE &1 TRY+ TO LOOK 9CONSPICU\S1 WE SAT D[N 9 ! LA/ R[4 

,WE DIDN'T SUCCE$ 9 \R ATTEMPT TO BE 9CONSPICU\S4 ,! ROOM GRADUALLY FILL$ UP ) ID5TICAL-LOOK+ Y\NG M5 9 SUITS & TIES1 ALL ( !M %ORT-HAIR$4 ,ALEC WORE JEANS & A ,T-%IRT & ,I WAS ! ONLY WOMAN 9 ! ROOM4 ,! /UD5TS KEPT TURN+ >\ND & LOOK+ AT US2 SEV]AL ( !M MADE OBSC5E GE/URES4 ,I DON'T KN[ IF ?OSE GE/URES MEANT ?AT ! /UD5TS GUESS$ :O WE W]E OR IF ! PEOPLE 9 ?AT CLASS W]E AUTOMATICALLY VICI\S T[>D WOM5 & CASUALLY DRESS$ M54 ,!Y ALL LOOK$ AT ME LIKE BLOOD?IR/Y M>9ES'2 & ,I'M SURE EV]Y S+LE ONE ( !M HAS BY N[ EXT]M9AT$ C\NTLESS HUMAN BE+S ON SOME DI/ANT BATTLEFIELD4 

,! PR(ESSOR PAID NO ATT5TION TO US2 HE SIMPLY PRET5D$ WE W]5'T !RE4 ,HE LECTUR$ DUR+ ! :OLE H\R & DIDN'T ASK IF !RE W]E ANY QUE/IONS4 ,I C\LDN'T BELIEVE ?AT LECTURE4 ,I HAD KN[N ?AT SU* PEOPLE EXI/$ BUT ,I HAD NEV] SPOK5 TO ANY & HAD NEV] LOOK$ AT MILIT>Y LIT]ATURE4 ,?AT MAN TALK$ AB\T ! SLAU<T] ( ?\S&S ( PEOPLE AS IF HE W]E DESCRIB+ A GAME ( *ESS4 ,IF A P]SON :O CANNOT DI/+UI% PEOPLE FROM ROA*ES IS A PSY*OPA? :5 HE />TS TALK+ AB\T EXT]M9AT+ ! V]M91 !N ?IS PR(ESSOR WAS ! I MO/ DANG]\S PSY*OPA? ,I HAD EV] SE54 ,I C\LDN'T HAVE ASK$ HIM A QUE/ION IF ,I HAD MEMORIZ$ ONE4 ,I WAS FROZ5 9 MY SEAT4 ,I IMAG9$ MYSELF BE+ EXPLOD$ 9TO SCRAPS1 BE+ BURN$ ALIVE & BE+ %OT FULL ( HOLES BY ! WEAPONS HE DESCRIB$4 ,I WAS *ILL$ TO ! BONE4 ,I DON'T ?9K ,I'VE EV] BE5 J SO FRI<T5$4 ,:5 ,I GOT HOME ,I VOMIT$4 

,ALEC APP>5TLY DIDN'T RESPOND TO ! LECTURE ! WAY ,I DID4 ,:5 ! H\R WAS NE>LY OV] HE BECAME IMPATI5T & RAIS$ HIS H&4 ,! PR(ESSOR DIDN'T CALL ON HIM4 ,SO ,ALEC 9T]RUPT$ ! LECTURE & />T$ %\T+4 0,:Y DO Y\ KEEP TALK+ J AB\T SU* F> AWAY PLACES1 PR(ESSOR8 ,:Y DON'T Y\ DESCRIBE :AT ?OSE WEAPONS WILL DO RI<T H]E 9 ?IS T[N1 :5 Y\ />T KILL+ (F ?OSE 5EMIES Y\ KEEP FILES ON8 ,TELL US AB\T BURN+ \T C]TA9 P>TS ( ?IS CITY4 ,SOME ( US MI<T HAVE RELATIVES !RE4 ,?AT'LL HELP US UND]/& Y\R LECTURE A LOT BETT]40 ,ALEC WAS SWEAT+ :5 HE F9I%$ & HE />T$ %AK+ LIKE A LEAF4 

,! PR(ESSOR PAUS$ :ILE ,ALEC SPOKE1 BUT !N HE IGNOR$ ,ALEC COMPLETELY & CONT9U$ HIS LECTURE1 AS IF HE HAD BE5 9T]RUPT$ BY A PSY*OPA?4 ,:5 ! BELL RANG HE WALK$ UP TO US1 SAID HE DIDN'T REMEMB] HAV+ SE5 US 9 HIS CLASS BE=E1 & ASK$ IF WE W]E REGI/]$ = HIS C\RSE4 ,ALEC TOLD HIM WE W]E CONSID]+ 5ROLL+ ! FOLL[+ SEME/] BUT BE=E DO+ SO WE HAD WANT$ TO HE> ONE ( HIS LECTURES &1 HAV+ HE>D IT1 WE W]E NO LONG] CONSID]+ 5ROLL+4 ,! PR(ESSOR !N SAID ?AT WE C\LDN'T SIMPLY WALK 0(F ! /REET 9TO A CLASSROOM10 BUT ?AT WE FIR/ HAD TO HAVE P]MISSION FROM ! PROP] AU?ORITIES4 

,:5 WE LEFT ! CLASSROOM1 FIVE OR SIX ( ! /UD5TS W]E WAIT+ = US4 ,9 SPITE ( !IR SUITS & TIES !Y LOOK$ LIKE A PACK ( VICI\S BRI/LY-HAIR$ DOGS4 ,I WAS SC>$ TO DEA?4 ,EV] S9CE ?AT DAY ,I'VE SYMPA?IZ$ ) ANYONE :O URG$ ! POPULATION TO 0GET GUNS & PROTECT Y\RSELVES10 EV5 9 SITUATIONS :]E ?AT SLOGAN WAS TOTALLY 9APPROPRIATE4 ,& ,I'VE C]TA9LY SYMPA?IZ$ ) EV]Y GU]RILLA ANY:]E 9 ! WORLD :O EV] %OT ONE ( !SE MON/]S4 ,ALEC WAS SC>$ TOO4 ,WE DIDN'T EX*ANGE ANY WORDS ) !M4 ,ALEC GRABB$ MY H& & WE />T$ RUNN+ )\T LOOK+ BACK TO SEE IF !Y W]E FOLL[+4 ,WE RAN TO ,ALEC'S C>1 DROVE TO ! CO-OP1 & ,I RU%$ TO ! BA?ROOM & ?REW UP4 

,WE DIDN'T KN[ :E!R TO CONSID] ! FIR/ /AGE ( \R PROJECT A P>TIAL SUCCESS OR A COMPLETE FAILURE & WE DIDN'T HAVE ! TIME TO EVALUATE IT1 NOR ! *ANCE TO TRY ANO!R APPROA*4 ,TWO DAYS AFT] \R VISIT TO ! MILIT>Y LECTURE ONE ( ! CITY PAP]S C>RI$ A LONG /ORY AB\T \R ESCAPADE4 ,! /ORY WAS SO DI/ORT$ ?AT IF WE HADN'T KN[N ! M5TALITY ( ITS AU?ORS WE W\LDN'T HAVE RECOGNIZ$ \RSELVES 9 IT4 ,! FEW FACTS !RE W]E 9 ! /ORY MU/ HAVE COME \T ( ! PR(ESSOR'S FILES & EV5 ?OSE FACTS W]E WRONG4 ,I REALIZ$ ?AT ! FILES WE HAD MADE SO MU* NOISE AB\T C\LDN'T HAVE BE5 ( MU* USE TO ANYONE4 ,! HEADL9E WAS3 0,\TSIDE ,AGITATORS ,DISRUPT ,UNIV]SITY ,LECTURE40 ,! NAMES ( ! AGITATORS W]E 0,M9] ,VA* & ,SOPHIA ,N>CALO10 NAMELY ! AU?ORS ( ! >TICLES ?AT HAD APPE>$ 9 ! S*OOL1 PAP] R5D]$ 9 ! CITY REPORT]'S OR ! PR(ESSOR'S SPELL+4 ,! >TICLE DESCRIB$ ! TWO AGITATORS AS ! LEAD]S ( ! 0CELL0 ?AT HAD TEMPOR>ILY TAK5 OV] ! /UD5T PUBLICATION4 ,ACCORD+ TO ! >TICLE1 ! UNIV]SITY HAD TAK5 VIGOR\S MEASURES TO REMOVE FROM ! NEWSPAP] /AFF 0ALL COMMUNI/S1 HOMOSEXUALS1 FELL[ TRAVEL]S & O!R \TSIDE AGITATORS0 & HAD GIV5 ! PUBLICATION BACK TO 0! /UD5T COMMUNITY40 ,H[EV]1 ! >TICLE OBS]V$ CRITICALLY1 ! UNIV]SITY'S MEASURES HAD NOT BE5 VIGOR\S 5\<1 BECAUSE 0DANG]\S ELEM5TS >E /ILL BE+ ALL[$ TO RUN RAMPANT 9 \R UNIV]SITY1 AMONG \R SONS & DAU<T]S1 AMONG TOMORR['S LEAD]S40 ,! LA/ P>AGRAPH /AT$ ?AT 0,M9] ,VA* & HIS CONSORT0 W]E OBVI\SLY NO /UD5TS1 BUT DID NOT EXPLA9 :Y ?IS WAS OBVI\S2 UND\BT$LY ! NAME !Y *OSE = HIM MADE ?IS OBVI\S4 ,! >TICLE CONCLUD$ BY DESCRIB+ ,M9] & HIS CONSORT AS DANG]\S ELEM5TS :O W]E 9T5T ON DISFIGUR+ ! M9DS ( ! 5TIRE Y\NG] G5]ATION & :O W\LD /OP AT NO?+ 9 !IR DET]M9$ ATTEMPT TO BR+ ! UNIV]SITY TO A COMPLETE HALT4 ,?IS >TICLE WAS AN EXAMPLE ( J\RNALISM AS IT WAS PRACTIC$ \TSIDE ! UNIV]SITY4 ,WE HAD BE5 FIR$ FROM ! NEWSPAP] /AFF SO AS TO BE REPLAC$ BY PEOPLE :O ASPIR$ TO ?IS TYPE ( J\RNALISM4 

,! FOLL[+ MORN+ BO? ,ALEC & ,I W]E S]V$ SUBPO5AS BY ! UNIV]SITY ADM9I/RATION1 OR SOME?+ JU/ LIKE ?AT4 ,A MESS5G] BR\<T BO? ( US NOTES :I* TOLD US TO APPE> 9 ! (FICE ( ! PRESID5T 0IMM$IATELY40 ,ALEC CAME OV] AS SOON AS HE GOT HIS NOTICE & WE DISCUSS$ :AT WE W\LD DO AB\T IT4 ,\R FIR/ IMPULSE WAS TO DISREG>D ! PRESID5T'S 9VITATION4 ,BUT ON SECOND ?\<T BO? ( US WANT$ TO HAVE A TA/E ( ?AT EXP]I5CE4 ,NEI!R ( US HAD EV] SE5 ! UNIV]SITY PRESID5T OR HIS (FICE & WE W]E C]TA9 ?AT :ATEV] HAPP5$1 IT W\LD NOT BE AS T]RIFY+ AS ! MOM5T :5 WE LEFT ! G5]AL'S CLASS & FAC$ A PACK ( HIS SN>L+ /UD5TS4 

,WE OBVI\SLY DIDN'T DRESS UP = ! OCCASION1 BUT ,I MU/ ADMIT ?AT ! PRESID5T AS WELL AS HIS SECRET>Y W]E V]Y OP5 M9D$ AB\T ?AT4 ,! SECRET>Y TOLD US1 0,! PRESID5T WILL BE RI<T ) Y\2 PLEASE SIT D[N10 & 9DICAT$ ?AT WE %\LD 9/ALL \R DIRTY-LOOK+ JEANS ON ! PLU% *AIRS 9 ?AT C>PET$ ROOM4 

,! PRESID5T CAME 91 9TRODUC$ HIMSELF1 & %OOK \R H&S :ILE WE REMA9$ SEAT$4 ,HE ASK$ IF WE WANT$ C(FEE4 

0,YES1 PLEASE10 WE BO? ANSW]$ SIMULTANE\SLY4 ,LAT] ON ,ALEC TOLD ME HE WI%$ HE'D ?\<T ( ASK+ = BREAKFA/ AS WELL4 

,! PRESID5T HIMSELF W5T \T & A FEW M9UTES LAT] RETURN$ C>RY+ A TRAY ) TWO CUPS ( C(FEE1 A CREAM PIT*] & A SUG> B[L4 ,APP>5TLY HE WASN'T GO+ TO JO9 US4 

0,DID Y\ SUMMON US H]E SO AS TO S]VE US C(FEE80 ,ALEC ASK$4 

,9 A V]Y APOLOGETIC TONE1 ! PRESID5T SAID1 0,OH1 ?AT NOTE4 ,YES1 IT WAS EXCESSIVELY H>%4 ,WE M]ELY WANT$ TO GET SOME:AT BETT] ACQUA9T$ ) Y\40 ,!N HE GR9N$ & ADD$1 0,I HOPE Y\ DON'T M9D40 

,OH1 NOT AT ALL10 ,I SAID4 0,! C(FEE IS V]Y GOOD & ! ROOM IS NICELY DECORAT$4 ,I W\LDN'T M9D COM+ H]E EV]Y MORN+40 

0,YES1 WELL10 ! PRESID5T CONT9U$1 0,I %\LD TELL Y\ ?AT ,I UND]/& Y\ Y\NG PEOPLE P]FECTLY4 ,I WAS QUITE A GAY BLADE MYSELF DUR+ MY COLLEGE DAYS40 ,ALEC SNICK]$ & ! PRESID5T PAUS$4 0,H[EV]10 HE !N SAID1 0Y\ HAVE TO UND]/& ?AT WE MU/ FACE C]TA9 REALITIES40 

,ALEC & ,I OBVI\SLY DIDN'T UND]/& ?AT2 IF WE DID WE W\LDN'T HAVE BE5 DR9K+ C(FEE 9 ! PRESID5T'S (FICE4 

0,REALITIES LIKE ! PRES5T W> HY/]IA80 ,ALEC ASK$4 0,IS ?IS A UNIV]SITY OR AN >MY B>RACKS80 

0,I UND]/& Y\R PO9T P]FECTLY10 ! PRESID5T SAID4 0,H[EV]1 !RE >E C]TA9 POLITICAL CONSID]ATIONS1 & ALSO C]TA9 F9ANCIAL ONES40 

0,! HY/]ICAL POLITICIANS C\LD FIRE Y\ & ! W> PR(ITE]+ CORPORATIONS PAY Y\R SAL>Y2 IS ?AT :AT Y\ MEAN80 ,I ASK$4 

,MY COMM5T IRRITAT$ ! PRESID5T EV] SO SLI<TLY4 ,HE SAID1 0,I CAN SEE ?AT Y\'RE BO? RELUCTANT TO FACE !SE REALITIES40 ,!N HE IMM$IATELY REV]T$ TO HIS ORIG9AL TONE2 HE DIDN'T WANT US TO ?9K HE WAS AN EVIL MAN4 0,Y\R PO9T ( VIEW IS 9 MANY WAYS JU/IFI$1 ,I MI<T EV5 SAY ADMIRABLE4 

,UN=TUNATELY1 ,I HAVE C]TA9 RESPONSIBILITIES & ! UNIV]SITY HAS C]TA9 RESPONSIBILITIES T[>D A L>G] COMMUNITY1 & Y\R UNCOMPROMIS+ ATTITUDE MAKES IT V]Y H>D = ME1 & = ! UNIV]SITY AT L>GE1 TO C>RY \T !SE RESPONSIBILITIES40 

,I GOT ANGRY & SAID1 0,IF Y\ ?9K WE'RE GO+ TO COMPROMISE \R ATTITUDES --0 

0,OH1 NO10 HE 9T]RUPT$4 0,NO?+ ( ! SORT4 ,I M]ELY WANT$ TO GET BETT] ACQUA9T$ ) Y\4 ,FROM MY PO9T ( VIEW ?IS 9T]VIEW HAS BE5 COMPLETELY SATISFACTORY40 ,HE GOT UP & %OOK \R H&S AGA91 SAY+1 0,I HONE/LY WI% Y\ ! GREATE/ SUCCESS 9 Y\R 5DEAVORS40 

,I C]TA9LY DIDN'T REGRET HAV+ ACCEPT$ ! PRESID5T'S 9VITATION3 ,I HAD NEV] BE=E MET SU* A COMPLETELY UNPR9CIPL$ P]SON1 SU* A P]FECT POLITICIAN4 ,! FOLL[+ MORN+ ! SAME MESS5G] :O HAD BR\<T US \R 9VITATIONS BR\<T ,ALEC & ME NOTES 9=M+ US ?AT WE W]E BE+ EXPELL$ FROM ! UNIV]SITY4 

,NEI!R ,ALEC NOR ,I W]E T]RIBLY UPSET BY \R EXPULSION4 ,WE HAD ALREADY FELT EXPELL$ :5 ! ADM9I/RATION DIRECTIVE HAD CLOS$ ! NEWSPAP] (FICE TO US & NEI!R ( US HAD WANT$ TO REMA9 9 ! UNIV]SITY )\T WORK+ ON ! NEWSPAP]4 

,ALEC F\ND AN AP>TM5T & MOV$ AWAY FROM CAMPUS ON ! V]Y DAY ! NOTICE CAME & A FEW DAYS LAT] HE ALREADY HAD A FACTORY JOB4 ,HE ASK$ ME TO MOVE TO HIS AP>TM5T BUT ,I KNEW ?AT ,I'D BE MAK+ A T]RIBLE MI/AKE IF ,I DID ?AT4 ,WE HADN'T EV] DISCUSS$ ! QUE/ION ( M>RIAGE & ,I KNEW ?AT ! DAY AFT] ,I MOV$ 9 ) HIM IT W\LD ALREADY BE TOO LATE TO BEG9 ?AT CONV]SATION4 ,BESIDES MY LACK ( DESIRE TO BECOME A WIFE1 ,I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ! UNIV]SITY 5VIRONM5T SO QUICKLY = SEV]AL REASONS4 ,FIR/ ( ALL ,I WANT$ TO SEE H[ ! PURG$ NEWSPAP] FUNCTION$ & ,I ALSO WANT$ TO BE ON CAMPUS :5 ! FIR/ ISSUE ( ,OMISSIONS CAME \T4 ,SECONDLY ,I HAD />T$ WRIT+ MY NOVEL AGA94 ,?IS TIME MY EXP]I5CE ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF WAS ITS C5TRAL TOPIC & ,I WAS AFRAID ?AT IF ,I REMOV$ MYSELF FROM ?AT 5VIRONM5T ,I W\LD LOSE MY DESIRE TO CONT9UE WORK+ ON IT4 

,! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP] DIDN'T COME \T = A WEEK BUT :5 IT DID COME \T IT LOOK$ ALMO/ ! SAME AS :5 WE HAD PUT IT \T4 ,I MU/ ADMIT ,I WAS DISAPPO9T$ BY ?IS FACT4 ,I HAD ?\<T ?AT SOMEH[ ITS V]Y APPE>ANCE W\LD REVEAL :AT IT HAD BECOME4 ,BESS ,LA* HADN'T M]ELY BE5 ACCEPT$ ON ITS /AFF2 %E HAD BE5 APPO9T$ NEWS $ITOR1 A POSITION :I* WAS ONLY ONE NOT* L[] ?AN H] PREVI\S POSITION4 ,I ASSUM$ ?AT ! PAP] LOOK$ SO MU* LIKE \RS BECAUSE ,BESS HAD DONE ALL ! $IT+ AS WELL AS ! LAY\T1 BUT MAYBE ,I GAVE TOO LITTLE CR$IT TO ?OSE PLIANT J\RNALISM /UD5TS PICK$ FROM ! FRAT]NITIES & SORORITIES4 ,( C\RSE ! PAP]4DIDN'T HAVE ! K9DS ( >TICLES ,DAMAN1 ,ALEC1 ,M9NIE & ,I HAD WRITT51 BUT NOT ALL ( \R ISSUES HAD C>RI$ SU* >TICLES EI!R1 NOR HAD ALL ,I ( \R >TICLES BE5 MA/]PIECES4 

,A FEW DAYS LAT] ! FIR/ ISSUE ( ,OMISSIONS CAME \T4 ,I WAS DISAPPO9T$ BY ?AT TOO3 IT WAS SO SMALL6 ,ONLY TWO LETT]-SIZ$ PAGES1 )1 TYPEWRITT5 >TICLES4 ,BUT IT WAS BEAUTIFULLY LAID \T & ! >TICLES W]E FUN TO READ4 ,I WAS P>TICUL>LY MOV$ BY ,HU<'S DESCRIPTION ( ! PURPOSE ( ! PAP]4 ,?UR/ON'S HUMOR COLUMN WAS HIL>I\S4 

,I HAD CALL$ ,M9NIE TO F9D \T IF %E KNEW :5 ! FIR/ ISSUE WAS GO+ TO COME \T4 ,%E TOLD ME ?AT %E & ,DAMAN HAD BECOME FRI5DS AGA9 & ?AT %E WAS GO+ TO HELP DI/RIBUTE ! PAP]4 ,!Y HAD BE5 D5I$ ! RI<T TO DI/RIBUTE ! PAP] ON CAMPUS & CONSEQU5TLY !Y W]E GO+ TO GIVE IT \T ACROSS ! /REET FROM ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+1 NAMELY ON ! SIDE ( ! /REET :I* WAS NOT ON UNIV]SITY PROP]TY4 ,I JO9$ ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN !RE & )\T EV5 BE+ ASK$ ,I GRABB$ A BUNDLE & GAVE \T COPIES TO ! M5 /UD5TS :O LIV$ 9 ! FRAT]NITY H\SES ACROSS ! /REET FROM ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+4 ,HU< & ,LEM W]E GIV+ !M \T AT ! O!R 5D ( ! CAMPUS TO /UD5TS :O DROVE !IR C>S TO S*OOL4 ,! PAP] WAS GIV5 \T FREE1 LIKE ! (FICIAL PAP]2 ! $ITORIAL ASK$ PEOPLE TO SUBSCRIBE TO IT SO AS TO HELP DEFRAY PR9T+ EXP5SES :I* W]E BE+ PAID BY ! $ITORS4 

,:5 WE RAN \T ( COPIES ,DAMAN ASK$ ME TO COME TO ! NEXT /AFF MEET+ AT ,HU<'S H\SE4 ,I DIDN'T SAY ,I'D COME4 ,I ?\<T ( ,RHEA & ,ALEC4 ,I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ONE ( ?OSE :O HAD BETRAY$ !M4 

,BUT ,I C\LDN'T /AY AWAY4 ,M9NIE & ,DAMAN CAME = ME ON ! DAY :5 ! SECOND ISSUE WAS TO BE LAID \T4 ,:5 ,I WALK$ 9 ) !M1 ,?UR/ON & ,HU< ACT$ AS IF !Y TOOK MY PRES5CE = GRANT$4 ,I SAT & LI/5$ :ILE !Y DISCUSS$ ! MAT]IALS TO BE 9CLUD$ 9 ! ISSUE4 ,!RE W]E NO >GUM5TS1 NO CLIQUES1 NO MAJORITIES OR M9ORITIES2 !RE WAS NO REASON = VOT+4 ,HU< ASK$ ME TO WRITE AN >TICLE BUT ?AT WAS :]E ,I DREW ! L9E4 ,I WAS WILL+ TO HELP ) ! TYP+ & ! DI/RIBUTION BUT ,I REFUS$ TO BECOME ONE ( ! $ITORS4 

,I W5T \T ) ,ALEC ONCE A WEEK4 ,I TOLD HIM ,I WAS TAK+ P>T 9 ! DI/RIBUTION ( ,OMISSIONS & GAVE HIM A COPY :5EV] IT CAME \T4 ,I DIDN'T TELL HIM ,I WAS ALSO TAK+ P>T 9 ! PRODUCTION ( ! PAP]4 ,I WAS A%AM$ TO TELL HIM ?AT4 ,I ALSO FELT A%AM$ AT ! CO-OP SEV]AL TIMES :5 ,RHEA SAW ME GO \T ) ,DAMAN & ,M9NIE ON \R WAY TO ,HU<'S H\SE2 %E MU/ HAVE KN[N ?AT ,I WAS ON MY WAY TO WORK ON ! (F-CAMPUS PAP] ORIG9ALLY SUGGE/$ BY H]4 

,I TOOK P>T 9 ! PRODUCTION ( ! PAP] BUT ,I CONT9U$ TO BE AN \TSID]1 NOT ONLY 9 MY EYES BUT 9 !IRS AS WELL4 ,AFT] ! SECOND ISSUE ALL F\R $ITORS AS WELL AS ,M9NIE URG$ ME TO WRITE >TICLES & TAKE P>T 9 ! DECISIONS1 BUT ,I CONT9U$ TO REFUSE4 ,I JU/ C\LDN'T =GET ! WAY ! PAP] HAD BE5 />T$ & MY FAILURE TO P>TICIPATE 9 ?OSE ACTIVITIES DIDN'T LET !M =GET EI!R4 ,!Y H>DLY SPOKE TO ME2 !Y W]E AFRAID ,I'D TAKE (F5SE AT SOME?+ !Y SAID OR EV5 AT ! TONE 9 :I* !Y SAID IT4 ,!Y DIDN'T WANT ME TO WALK \T4 ,! PRODUCTION ( ?AT LITTLE PAP] WAS A LOT ( H>D WORK & BY ! ?IRD ISSUE ,I HAD BECOME 9DISP5SABLE = ! PAP]'S DI/RIBUTION AS WELL4 ,DAMAN & ,LEM HELP$ DI/RIBUTE ONLY ! FIR/ TWO ISSUES4 ,BO? HAD MORN+ CLASSES EV]Y DAY & ,DAMAN HAD ALWAYS BE5 A GOOD /UD5T4 ,LEM ALSO W5T BACK TO BE+ A GOOD /UD5T1 AL?\< ,I CAN'T IMAG9E :Y1 S9CE HE !N LEFT ! UNIV]SITY BE=E F9I%+ ! S*OOL YE>4 ,& ( C\RSE ! UPP] CLASS D&Y ,?UR/ON NEV] TOOK P>T 9 ! DI/RIBUTION4 ,HE'D AS SOON HAVE BE5 A PEASANT GU]RILLA4 ,H&+ \T ! PAP] ACROSS ! /REET FROM ! UNIV]SITY WAS = ,?UR/ON AN ACTIVITY WOR?Y ( \TSIDE AGITATORS & UNION ORGANIZ]S1 & HE WAS EQUALLY HO/ILE TO BO?4 ,! ONLY REASON HE F\ND HIMSELF 9 \R COMPANY WAS ?AT ! WIT* HUNT M5TALITY ( ?AT TIME WAS EV5 9T]F]+ ) ! ABILITY ( ! RUL+ CLASS TO MAKE JOKES AB\T ITSELF1 :I* WAS ALL HE WANT$ TO DO4 ,AS A RESULT1 ,HU<1 ,M9NIE & ,I W]E ! PAP]'S ONLY DI/RIBUTORS4 ,M9NIE & ,I CONT9U$ TO GIVE IT \T ACROSS ! /REET FROM ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+ & ,HU< CONT9U$ TO DI/RIBUTE IT TO COMMUT+ /UD5TS ON ! O!R SIDE ( ! CAMPUS4 ,H[ IRONIC4 ,! >GUM5T ?AT HAD JU/IFI$ \R EXCLUSION HAD BE5 ?AT ! DI/RIBUTION ( ! 0UND]GR\ND0 PAP] W\LD BE F> TOO DANG]\S = ! WOM54 ,I DID UND]GO A T]RIBLE EXP]I5CE BE=E ! YE> 5D$1 :I* ,I'LL DESCRIBE LAT]1 BUT ?IS EXP]I5CE HAD NOT BE5 ONE ( ! DANG]S ?AT HAD BE5 ANTICIPAT$ :5 \R EXCLUSION HAD BE5 JU/IFI$4 

,!RE W]E NUM]\S FAVORABLE RESPONSES TO ! PUBLICATION ( ,OMISSIONS3 SEV]AL 5C\RAG+ LETT]S1 SOME CLASSROOM DISCUSSIONS ( QUE/IONS RAIS$ BY ,OMISSIONS1 A C]TA9 GR[? ( POLITICAL AW>5ESS ON ! (FICIAL NEWSPAP] /AFF :I* W\LD NOT HAVE TAK5 PLACE IF ,OMISSIONS HADN'T BE5 PUBLI%$ & IF IT HADN'T MA9TA9$ SU* A HI< LEVEL ( QUALITY4 ,I'LL ONLY DESCRIBE ONE ( ! RESPONSES BECAUSE IT'S RELAT$ TO EV5TS ?AT TOOK PLACE LONG AFT] ! FIR/ ,OMISSIONS HAD BE5 =GOTT54 

,>\ND ! MIDDLE ( ! YE> WE LE>N$ ?AT A GR\P ( /UD5TS AT ANO!R UNIV]SITY HAD HE>D AB\T \R S]IES ( >TICLES 9 ! S*OOL PAP]1 AB\T ! DIRECTIVE & AB\T ! MOCK FUN]AL4 ,ONE ( ?OSE /UD5TS WAS ONE ( ! FIR/ PAY+ SUBSCRIB]S TO ,OMISSIONS4 ,/IMULAT$ BY \R EXAMPLE !SE /UD5TS LAUN*$ A SIMIL> PUBLICATION1 :I* !Y ALSO NAM$ ,OMISSIONS4 ,!Y W]E NOT =M] $ITORS ( ! (FICIAL PUBLICATION4 ,! (FICIAL PAP] ( ?AT UNIV]SITY HAD APP>5TLY ALWAYS BE5 AS SELF-REPRESS$ AS ! ONE H]E BECAME AFT] ! DIRECTIVE4 ,ANO!R DIFF]5CE WAS ?AT ! K9DS ( >TICLES !Y C>RI$ W]E NOT AT ALL LIKE ?OSE ?AT APPE>$ 9 \R ,OMISSIONS BUT RA!R LIKE ! >TICLES ,M9NIE & ,I HAD BE5 PUBLI%+ 9 ! (FICIAL PAP] JU/ BE=E ! DIRECTIVE2 !Y W]E EXPOSURES ( ! MILIT>I/IC & REPRESSIVE 5GAGEM5TS ( PR(ESSORS & ACADEMIC DEP>TM5TS4 ,?AT GR\P ( /UD5TS DIDN'T DISP]SE AT ! 5D ( ! S*OOL YE>1 ! WAY WE DID4 ,!Y KEPT !IR PUBLICATION GO+4 ,ITS /AFF AS WELL AS ITS READ]S 9CREAS$4 ,ITS NAME *ANG$ SEV]AL TIMES2 NEW /UD5TS REPLAC$ ?OSE :O GRADUAT$4 ,SEV]AL YE>S LAT] ! 5TIRE $ITORIAL BO>D ( ?AT PUBLICATION GOT !MSELVES ELECT$ TO ! /UD5T GOV]NM5T3 IT WAS ! FIR/ TIME )9 MEMORY ?AT RADICAL /UD5TS HAD BE5 SO PROM95T4 ,!SE /UD5TS BECAME ! FIR/ (FICIAL SPOKESM5 ( :AT BECAME 0! /UD5T MOVEM5T40 ,I LE>N$ ALL ?IS MANY YE>S AFT] ! DEMISE ( ! ORIG9AL ,OMISSIONS :5 ,I RE-5ROLL$ 9 COLLEGE4 ,I'M M5TION+ ALL ?IS BECAUSE ,I DO UND]/& :AT Y\ MEAN :5 Y\ DESCRIBE \R ACTIVITY 9 ! C>TON PLANT OR M9E ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF AS A /EPP+ /ONE T[>D A POLITICAL C>E]4 ,?AT'S :AT IT WAS = ,M>C ,GLAVNI1 ,V]A ,NEIS & ! GR\P ( /UD5TS ,I'VE JU/ DESCRIB$4 ,BUT ! ACTIVITY WAS NOT A /EPP+ /ONE 9 & ( ITSELF & ,I'M NOT ! ONLY ONE :O KN[S ?IS4 ,N[ADAYS1 :5 ! /UD5T MOVEM5T IS VA/1 SEV]AL ( ITS POLITICIANS >E WRIT+ ! HI/ORY ( !IR MOVEM5T4 ,!Y 9V>IABLY ID5TIFY ! ORIG9 ( ! PRES5T MOVEM5T ) ! PUBLICATION ( ! FIR/ ISSUE ( ! ,OMISSIONS ?AT WAS PUBLI%$ AT ! O!R UNIV]SITY1 :I* CAME \T SEV]AL MON?S AFT] \R FIR/ ISSUE4 ,!RE'S A V]Y GOOD REASON :Y !Y LOCATE ! ORIG9 !RE3 ?AT GR\P WAS A GR\P ( POLITICIANS & ! HI/ORIANS >E POLITICIANS WRIT+ ! HI/ORY ( !IR 0LIKES40 ,!Y DON'T M5TION \R ACTIVITIES BECAUSE WE W]5'T POLITICIANS1 BECAUSE WE SPOKE ONLY = \RSELVES4 ,!Y KN[ IT1 ,I KN[ IT1 & ,I ?9K Y\ %\LD KN[ IT TOO4 ,IF \R ACTIVITY W]E EV] 9CLUD$ 9 A HI/ORY1 IT W\LDN'T BE A HI/ORY ( POLITICIANS BUT A MU* VA/] HI/ORY ( PEOPLE'S ATTEMPTS TO FI<T AGA9/ REPRESSION ON !IR [N1 = !MSELVES1 )\T POLITICIANS4 ,\R ACTIVITY HAD 9NUM]ABLE FLAWS4 ,\R MOTIVES W]5'T PURE & \R A*IEVEM5TS W]5'T T]RIBLY IMPRESSIVE4 ,BUT ! E/ABLI%M5T ( POLITICAL C>E]S WAS NOT :AT MOTIVAT$ US & ?AT C]TA9LY WASN'T :AT WE A*IEV$ AS A RESULT ( ?AT ACTIVITY4 

,SOME MON?S BE=E ! 5D ( ! S*OOL YE>1 ,LEM ,ICEL ANN\NC$ ?AT HE W\LD BE LEAV+ ! ,OMISSIONS /AFF AS WELL AS ! UNIV]SITY4 ,HE WAS ONE ( ! /UD5TS SELECT$ BY HIS POLITICAL ORGANIZATION TO ATT5D A WORLD /UD5T CONF]5CE :I* WAS TO TAKE PLACE 9 Y\R P>T ( ! WORLD4 ,I HAD ?\<T ,LEM HAD LEFT ?AT ORGANIZATION :5 HE'D JO9$ ! ,OMISSIONS /AFF & HAD FALL5 \T ) ,RHEA BUT ,I'D BE5 WRONG4 ,TO HIS CR$IT HE HADN'T ONCE LET HIS ORGANIZATIONAL COMMITM5T DEF9E HIS RELATIONS TO ! O!R PEOPLE ON ! /AFF4 ,I RELUCTANTLY ADMITT$ TO MYSELF ?AT ,?UR/ON'S CALCULATIONS HAD NOT BE5 ALTOGE!R )\T SUB/ANCE3 IF ,LEM & ,RHEA HAD BO? BE5 ON ?AT /AFF !Y W\LD HAVE BLACKMAIL$ EA* O!R 9TO IMPLEM5T+ ! ORGANIZATION'S POSITION ON EV]Y QUE/ION4 ,NOT ?AT !IR POSITIONS W\LD ALWAYS HAVE BE5 WRONG4 ,!Y W\LD ALWAYS HAVE BE5 RIGID1 9FLEXIBLE4 & CONSEQU5TLY ! DISCUSSIONS W\LDN'T HAVE HAD ! *>ACT] ( G5U9E COMMUNICATION BUT ( PEOPLE %\T+ AT PHONOGRAPH RECORDS ?AT JU/ KEPT REPEAT+ !MSELVES4 ,BUT EV5 ?AT W\LD HAVE BE5 PREF]ABLE TO ! EXCLUSION>Y C\RSE ?AT WAS TAK54 

,LEM'S COM+ TRIP GAVE ME AN IDEA4 ,I ASK$ HIM IF HE'D BE WILL+ TO DELIV] LETT]S TO ALL ! FRI5DS ,I HAD KN[N EI<T YE>S E>LI]4 ,I DIDN'T TELL HIM WE HAD ALL BE5 >RE/$2 ,I WAS AFRAID ,LEM W\LD SUSPECT !RE WAS SOME?+ WRONG ) MY FRI5DS1 ?AT !Y W]E ALL 0/A9$10 AS Y\ PUT IT 9 Y\R SECOND LETT]4 ,LEM WAS DELI<T$ BY ! FACT ?AT ,I ASK$ HIM = A FAVOR4 ,I HADN'T ASK$ HIM TO DO ANY?+ = ME S9CE HI< S*OOL4 ,HE WAS ALSO 5?USIA/IC AB\T ! PROSPECT ( MEET+ PEOPLE :O HAD ONCE BE5 MY FRI5DS1 & WAS POSITIVELY 5*ANT$ :5 ,I TOLD HIM !Y W]E ALL WORK]S4 

,I HAD TWO WEEKS TO WRITE LETT]S TO ALL ( Y\ & EXCEPT = ! DAY ,I SP5T WORK+ ON ,OMISSIONS & ! MORN+ ,I SP5T DI/RIBUT+ IT1 ,I DID NO?+ ELSE DUR+ ?OSE WEEKS4 ,! UPRIS+ 9 ,MAG>NA HAD JU/ BROK5 \T4 ,LEM HAD TOLD ME SOME?+ AB\T ?AT UPRIS+ & ! CITY PAP]S C>RI$ FRONT PAGE >TICLES AB\T IT :I* CONFLICT$ 9 EV]Y DETAIL ) ,LEM'S ACC\NT4 ,I SUSPECT$ ?AT BO? ACC\NTS W]E WRONG & SOME ( ! DESCRIPTIONS 9 ! CITY PAP]S GAVE ME ! IMPRESSION ?AT ! ,MAG>NA RIS+ WAS 9 SOME WAYS A CONT9UATION ( \R ACTIVITY 9 ! C>TON FACTORY EI<T YE>S E>LI]4 ,9 FACT1 ! VEHEM5CE ) :I* ,LEM D5I$ C]TA9 DETAILS EV5 L$ ME TO SUSPECT ?AT ! EV5TS UNFOLD+ 9 ,MAG>NA W5T F> BEYOND ANY?+ ,I HAD EXP]I5C$1 ?AT 9 FACT A REVOLUTION WAS TAK+ PLACE :I* WAS AS EXT5SIVE & PR(\ND AS ! REVOLUTION ,LUISA HAD DESCRIB$ TO ME4 ,?OSE SUSPICIONS W]E ( C\RSE CONFIRM$ 9 LAT] YE>S1 :5 ,I READ DOCUM5T$ ACC\NTS ( ! ,MAG>NA REVOLUTION1 BUT AT ! TIME ,I HAD NO WAY ( LE>N+ ?OSE FACTS4 ,! CLOSE/ ,I C\LD COME WAS TO REA* Y\4 

,I FEV]I%LY WROTE LONG LETT]S TO EV]Y ONE ( Y\4 ,ONCE ,I WROTE /RAI<T ?R\< ! NI<T & CONT9U$ WRIT+ ! :OLE NEXT DAY4 ,! LETT] TO Y\ WAS ! LONGE/4 ,9 MY REC5T LETT]S ,I'VE REPEAT$ MO/ ( :AT ,I TOLD Y\ !N4 ,I DESCRIB$ ! EXT5T TO :I* TWO KEY EV5TS HAD AFFECT$ MY LIFE3 ! REVOLUTION ) :I* ,LUISA HAD FAMILI>IZ$ ME1 & ! AGITATION 9 :I* ,I MYSELF TOOK P>T ) Y\ & ! O!RS 9 ! C>TON PLANT4 ,I TOLD AB\T MY LIFELONG SE>* = ! ELEM5TS :I* HAD MADE ?OSE EXP]I5CES SIGNIFICANT TO ME2 ,I N>RAT$ ALL ,I'VE JU/ F9I%$ TELL+ Y\ AB\T MY ACTIVITY ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF & ! (F-CAMPUS PAP]1 & ,I SUMM>IZ$ MY E>LI] ATTEMPT TO COMP>E Y\ TO ,RON4 ,I WAS EAG] TO HE> AB\T Y\R LIFE & ! LIVES ( ! O!RS1 AB\T Y\R EXP]I5CES1 ACTIVITIES & PROJECTS4 ,I WANT$ TO HE> AB\T ! RIS+ 9 ,MAG>NA2 ,I WAS SURE ?OSE EV5TS W]E GIV+ A NEW LIFE TO ! COMMUNITY ,I HAD ONCE KN[N4 ,I WANT$ DESP]ATELY TO BE 9 T\* ) ?OSE ( MY FRI5DS :O W]E CLOSE/ TO IT2 ,I WANT$ TO BE P>T ( IT & P>T ( !M4 ,AT ?AT TIME ,I FELT ?AT ,I WAS /ILL AN 9TEGRAL P>T ( ?AT COMMUNITY4 ,I /ILL ?\<T ( MYSELF AS ONE ( Y\4 ,IF ,I HAD GOTT5 Y\R NEWE/ LETT] & READ ,JASNA'S ACC\NT !N1 ,I W\LD HAVE BE5 HE>TBROK54 ,I IMAG9$ ALL ( Y\ W]E /ILL 9 ! C>TON PLANT4 ,I HAD NO WAY ( KN[+ :AT DREADFULLY LONG PRISON T]MS SO MANY ( Y\ HAD S]V$ ALREADY !N4 ,I OBVI\SLY ?\<T ( ALL ( Y\ AS ,I REMEMB]$ Y\1 AS Y\ HAD BE5 :5 ,I HAD KN[N Y\4 

,:5 ,I WROTE ?OSE LETT]S1 !RE WAS NO?+ ,I WANT$ MORE ?AN TO BE ASK$ TO RETURN1 BY ONE & ALL ( Y\4 ,MY LETT]S ALMO/ BEGG$ = SU* AN 9VITATION4 ,9 EA* LETT] ,I DESCRIB$ MY LIFE S9CE MY EMIGRATION AS ! LIFE ( A =EIGN]1 ! LIFE ( AN \TSID]4 ,I DESCRIB$ ! 5VIRONM5T & ! POPULATION ?AT WELCOM$ ME ) ! SLOGAN 0,GO BACK :]E Y\ COME FROM10 & ! UNIV]SITY 9 :I* ,I HAD NEV] BE5 ANY?+ MORE ?AN AN 0\TSIDE AGITATOR40 ,I ALSO DESCRIB$ MY EXCLUSION FROM ! S+LE ACTIVITY ,I HAD F\ND H]E :I* ,I W\LD HAVE EMBRAC$ AS MY [N3 ! (F-CAMPUS NEWSPAP]1 ,I WAIT$ = A LETT]1 A PO/C>D1 A WORD OR A M]E SIGN4 ,I WAS READY TO FLY \T ( H]E AS ABRUPTLY AS ,ALEC HAD LEFT ! UNIV]SITY ON ! DAY ( \R EXPULSION4 ,BUT NO WORD CAME4 ,EV5 ,LEM DIDN'T RETURN4 ,:5 ,I F9ALLY DID SEE ,LEM AGA9 SEV]AL YE>S LAT]1 HIS ACC\NT ( :AT HAPP5$ TO HIM WAS SO UNRELAT$ TO ! LETT]S ,I HAD WRITT5 ?AT ,I B>ELY LI/5$ TO :AT HE TOLD ME3 ,I WAS CONV9C$ IT HAD NO?+ TO DO ) ME4 ,POOR ,LEM4 

,SOON AFT] ,ALEC & ,I W]E EXPELL$ ,I />T$ MY NOVEL AGA91 = ! SECOND & LA/ TIME4 ,H[ WELL ,I UND]/& :Y ,JASNA READS LONG NOVELS :5EV] %E'S EXCLUD$ FROM ! ACTIVITY ( ?OSE >\ND H]3 TO LIVE ALL ! POSSIBLE LIVES %E KN[S %E'LL NEV] HAVE A *ANCE TO LIVE4 ,I SUPPOSE ,I WROTE = SIMIL> REASONS4 ,UNLIKE ,JASNA1 ,I DIDN'T W&] ?R\< WORLDS O!RS HAD CREAT$2 ,I W&]$ ?R\< MY [N1 & :ILE W&]+ ,I *ANG$ IT H]E & !RE TO MAKE IT MORE LIKE ! WORLD ,I W\LD HAVE WANT$ IT TO BE4 ,I SP5T ALMO/ EV]Y DAY WORK+ ON IT1 ALONE 9 MY ROOM AT ! CO-OP4 ,I SAW ! ,OMISSIONS PEOPLE ONLY ONE DAY EV]Y TWO WEEKS & AT NO O!R TIME1 S9CE ! ACTIVITY ?AT DREW US TOGE!R ON ?AT S+LE DAY1 ! PREP>ATION ( ! PAP]1 WAS ! V]Y ACTIVITY ?AT SEP>AT$ US ! RE/ ( ! TIME4 ,I SAW ,ALEC ON WEEK5DS2 DUR+ ! WEEK ! JOB HE'D GOTT5 US$ UP ALL HIS 5]GY & HE SIMPLY ATE1 SLEPT & W5T BACK TO WORK4 ,I WAS GLAD TO BE LEFT ALONE 9 MY ROOM4 ,I WAS CLOSE 5\< TO ! PEOPLE & EXP]I5CES ,I WAS WRIT+ AB\T TO CONT9UE TO BE /IMULAT$ BY !M1 :ILE AT ! SAME TIME ,I WAS ABLE TO LOOK AT !M FROM A DI/ANCE1 ! DI/ANCE :I* MY EXCLUSION HAD CREAT$ BETWE5 US4 

,MY SECOND NOVEL WASN'T A LOVE /ORY BUT ! /ORY ( TWO PROJECTS4 ,RON WAS REPLAC$ BY ! GR\P ( PEOPLE ) :OM ,I BAD %>$ ! EXP]I5CE ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF1 ! PEOPLE :O HAD EXCLUD$ ME FROM ,OMISSIONS4 ,I CONTRA/$ ?IS PROJECT & !SE PEOPLE ) MY EXP]I5CE AT ! C>TON FACTORY EI<T YE>S E>LI]4 ,I DESCRIB$ ! FIR/ GR\P AS A G5U9E COMMUNITY1 ONE :I* C\LD NOT HAVE EXCLUD$ ME1 & ,I TRI$ TO EXPLORE ! REASONS = MY EXCLUSION FROM ,OMISSIONS1 REASONS :I* ,I DIDN'T LOCATE 9 ,?UR/ON'S VOTE-C\NT+ BUT 9 ! *>ACT] ( ! P>TICIPANTS4 ,S9CE ,I WAS US+ MY EXP]I5CE ) Y\ AS A MODEL1 ,I OBVI\SLY GLORIFI$ ! PEOPLE ,I HAD KN[N 9 ! C>TON PLANT AS WELL AS ! PROJECT ,I HAD %>$ ) !M4 ,JASNA'S ACC\NT ( :O ?OSE PEOPLE REALLY W]E & :AT !Y'VE BECOME S9CE !N IS NOT REALLY RELEVANT TO ! WAY ,I DESCRIB$ !M4 ,! *>ACT]S 9 MY NOVEL W]E PRODUCTS ( MY [N IMAG9ATION4 ,9 A S5SE MY *>ACT]S W]E ALL DIFF]5T FACETS ( MY [N SELF4 ,?R\< !M ,I CONTRA/$ ! PETT9ESS ( ?OSE >\ND ME ) A PICTURE ( :AT ,I W\LD HAVE WANT$ ?OSE PEOPLE TO BE4 ,?R\< ?OSE *>ACT]S ,I TRI$ TO SAY ?AT ! WORLD >\ND ME WAS NOT ! ONLY POSSIBLE WORLD & C]TA9LY NOT ! BE/ ( ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS4 ,I NEV] ACCEPT$ ,DAMAN'S PHILOSOPHY ACCORD+ TO :I* ALL ?AT HAPP5S IS EXPLA9ABLE AFT]W>DS AS ALL ?AT WAS 0OBJECTIVELY POSSIBLE40 ,N[ ,I UND]/& :Y ,DAMAN HADN'T SAID A WORD :5 ,RHEA1 ,M9NIE & ,I HAD BE5 EXCLUD$ FROM ,OMISSIONS4 ,) ALL ITS REVOLUTION>Y LANGUAGE1 ,DAMAN'S PHILOSOPHY IS M]ELY ANO!R V]SION ( ! SUBMISSIV5ESS TO FATE :I* Y\ ATTRIBUT$ TO ,MIRNA'S MO!R4 ,BY DESCRIB+ *>ACT]S :O 9 SOME WAYS RESEMBL$ Y\ & ,V]A & ,M>C1 ,I WAS TRY+ TO DEPICT A POSSIBLE COMMUNITY4 ,I WASN'T TRY+ TO DESCRIBE A COMMUNITY ?AT HAD ACTUALLY EXI/$ PRECISELY BECAUSE ,I DIDN'T SUBMIT TO ! FLAW$ COMMUNITY ?AT EXI/$ AS ! ONLY 0OBJECTIVELY POSSIBLE0 COMMUNITY4 

,UN=TUNATELY MY SECOND NOVEL NEV] BECAME MORE COMPLETE ?AN MY FIR/4 ,I WAS =C$ TO AB&ON IT ABRUPTLY & ,I'VE NEV] RETURN$ TO IT4 ,I RE-READ IT BE=E WRIT+ Y\ AB\T MY EXP]I5CES ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF1 & ,I HAVE TO ADMIT ?AT SOME ( ! EV5TS ,I'VE JU/ DESCRIB$ COME DIRECTLY \T ( ?AT MANUSCRIPT4 ,I APOLOGIZE = ?AT1 BUT ,I CAN NO LONG] REMEMB] ! SEQU5CE ( ! ACTUAL EV5TS4 

,MY PROJECT WAS CUT %ORT BY AN 9CID5T :I* ,I DO REMEMB]1 & V]Y VIVIDLY4 ,IT HAPP5$ SEV]AL WEEKS AFT] ,LEM LEFT ) ! LETT]S ,I WROTE TO ALL ( Y\4 ,M9NIE & ,I W]E DI/RIBUT+ COPIES ( ! NEWE/ ISSUE ( ,OMISSIONS ACROSS ! /REET FROM ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+4 ,! /UD5TS :O CAME \T ( ! FRAT]NITY H\SES L9$ UP = COPIES4 ,M9NIE & ,I W]E DELI<T$4 ,WE ?\<T !RE HAD BE5 A REVOLUTION 9 ! FRAT]NITY H\SES4 ,ON ALL PREVI\S OCCASIONS1 ONLY AN OCCASIONAL /UD5T HAD BE5 WILL+ TO ACCEPT A COPY2 O!RS HAD EI!R 9SULT$ US OR HAD AVOID$ WALK+ NE> US4 ,S9CE WE W]E SURR\ND$ BY PEOPLE REA*+ = COPIES1 WE C\LDN'T SEE :AT WAS HAPP5+4 ,SUDD5LY WE HE>D ! SIR5 ( A POLICE C>4 ,! /UD5TS >\ND US MOV$ SOME DI/ANCE AWAY & WE SAW ?AT COPIES ( ,OMISSIONS W]E SCATT]$ ALL OV] ! /REET & SIDEWALK1 OV] ! LAWN ( ! ADM9I/RATION BUILD+1 ON ! HOODS & 9 ! DOOR H&LES ( C>S4 ,M9NIE & ,I JU/ /OOD !RE1 HOLD+ BUNDLES ( COPIES ( ! PUBLICATION ?AT WAS SCATT]$ LIKE FALL5 LEAVES ALL OV] ! L&SCAPE4 ,! POLICE GRABB$ US & PU%$ US 9TO !IR C>4 ,! :OLE ?+ HAD OBVI\SLY BE5 PRE->RANG$1 PROBABLY BY ! UNIV]SITY ADM9I/RATION1 S9CE ! EV5TS :I* FOLL[$ W]E CLE>LY P>TS ( A S*EME ?AT HAD BE5 WELL WORK$ \T AHEAD ( TIME4 ,?OSE FRAT]NITY BOYS W]E ALWAYS SU* 0GOOD0 /UD5TS2 IT'S TOO BAD ?AT A WORD LIKE 0SCAB0 DOESN'T EXI/ = !M4 ,AT ! POLICE /ATION WE W]E ASK$ \R NAMES4 ,! POLICE CALL$ SOMEONE 9 ! UNIV]SITY1 GAVE \R NAMES & LE>N$ ?AT ,I WAS NO LONG] A /UD5T4 ,WE W]E GIV5 A LONG LECTURE1 :I* WAS DIRECT$ ONLY AT ME1 AB\T 0LITT]+ & DEFAC+ PUBLIC & PRIVATE PROP]TY40 ,WE W]E TOLD ?AT IF WE EV] 0LITT]$0 ! /REET AGA9 WE W\LD HAVE TO APPE> BE=E A JUDGE & BE SUBJECT TO A JAIL S5T5CE4 ,?IS OBVI\SLY MEANT ?AT WE C\LD BE JAIL$ = TRY+ TO DI/RIBUTE ,OMISSIONS AGA94 

,M9NIE WAS CALL$ 9TO ! UNIV]SITY PRESID5T'S (FICE & REPRIM&$1 BUT %E WASN'T SUSP5D$ FROM S*OOL4 ,:AT HAPP5$ TO ME WAS MU* WORSE4 

,! CO-OP :]E ,I LIV$ WAS GOV]N$ BY A 0BO>D0 :I* CONSI/$ ( F\R /UD5TS :O W]E ELECT$ BY ALL ! OCCUPANTS4 ,TWO DAYS AFT] ! 0LITT]+0 9CID5T ! UNIV]SITY ADM9I/RATION S5T ! CO-OP BO>D A ?REAT5+ NOTE :I* SAID ?AT 0UNIV]SITY APPROV$ H\S+ IS 9T5D$ EXCLUSIVELY = ! USE ( /UD5TS & NOT = ! G5]AL PUBLIC4 ,! UNIV]SITY CANNOT GRANT RECOGNITION TO FACILITIES :I* >E RUN LIKE HOTELS OR O!R PUBLIC ACCOMMODATIONS40 ,9 O!R WORDS1 IF ,I WASN'T EVICT$ FROM ! CO-OP1 ! CO-OP W\LD LOSE 0UNIV]SITY RECOGNITION40 ,I /ILL HAV5'T LE>N$ :AT 0UNIV]SITY RECOGNITION0 IS4 ,I ?9K ?AT )\T IT ! CO-OP W\LD NOT HAVE BE5 PLAC$ ON A LI/ ( 0UNIV]SITY APPROV$0 /UD5T H\S+ FACILITIES4 ,BUT NO ONE WAS 9 ! CO-OP BECAUSE IT WAS 0UNIV]SITY APPROV$02 WE W]E !RE BECAUSE IT WAS *EAP4 

,! CO-OP BO>D CALL$ = A MEET+ ( ALL ! OCCUPANTS4 ,NO ONE HAD EV] BE5 EVICT$ FROM ! CO-OP BE=E4 ,NUM]\S /UD5TS W5T TO S*OOL ONE SEME/] & WORK$ ONE SEME/]1 SO ?AT ,I WASN'T ! ONLY NON-/UD5T LIV+ !RE4 ,BUT AS SOON AS ! BO>D MEMB]S />T$ SPEAK+ ,I KNEW ?AT ! :OLE BUS9ESS REVOLV$ >\ND ME4 ,ONE ( ! BO>D MEMB]S SAID ?AT ! LOSS ( UNIV]SITY RECOGNITION W\LD DO IRREP>ABLE DAMAGE TO ! CO-OP1 & TWO O!RS SAID ?AT IT W\LD DO IRREP>ABLE DAMAGE TO ! C>E]S ( ALL ! /UD5TS 9 ! CO-OP4 ,! ?REE BO>D MEMB]S :O SPOKE 7! F\R? DIDN'T SAY ANY?+7 W]E LAW /UD5TS4 ,?IS WAS NOT A CO9CID5CE4 ,LAW /UD5TS W]E NORMALLY ! ONLY PEOPLE :O RAN = BO>D PO/S2 NO ONE ELSE WANT$ TO BE A BO>D MEMB]4 ,! LAW /UD5TS LI/$ ! FACT ?AT !Y'D BE5 ON ! 0BO>D ( DIRECTORS ( ! UNIV]SITY COOP]ATIVE DORMITORY0 ON !IR LI/ ( ACCOMPLI%M5TS2 !Y W]E POLITICIANS4 ,I HAD HE>D ?AT :5 ! CO-OP WAS FIR/ ORGANIZ$ IT HAD BE5 A C5T] = RADICAL /UD5TS1 BUT ?IS HAD CEAS$ TO BE ! CASE LONG BE=E ,I HAD COME !RE4 ,!SE BO>D MEMB]S APP>5TLY ?\<T ?AT MY PRES5CE !RE WAS GO+ TO REVIVE ?AT LONG-LO/ REPUTATION ( ! CO-OP4 ,9 ?AT CASE !Y W\LD NO LONG] BE ABLE TO LI/ ! CO-OP AMONG !IR ACCOMPLI%M5TS4 ,IT'S 9 ?IS S5SE ?AT MY PRES5CE !RE WAS H>MFUL TO !IR C>E]S4 

,!RE WAS A V]Y BRIEF DISCUSSION4 ,ONLY TWO /UD5TS EXPRESS$ OPPOSITION TO ! UNIV]SITY'S ?REAT5+ NOTE4 ,! O!RS JU/ SAT & SAID NO?+4 ,I LOOK$ DESP]ATELY T[>D ,RHEA2 %E W\LD BE ! NEXT ONE :OSE PRES5CE W\LD BE H>MFUL TO ! LAWY]S' C>E]S4 ,BUT %E AVOID$ MY GLANCE & SAID NO?+4 

,IT ALL HAPP5$ SO FA/ ?AT ,I C\LDN'T PUT MY ?\<TS TOGE!R4 ,SOMEONE CALL$ = ! VOTE4 ,I />T$ TO SAY1 0,BUT Y\ CAN'T --0 ,I C\LDN'T SAY ANY MORE4 ,I GAGG$ & />T$ SOBB+4 ,!Y VOT$4 ,TWO /UD5TS VOT$ AGA9/ MY EVICTION1 AB\T A ?IRD ( ! /UD5TS AB/A9$ & ALL ! RE/1 9CLUD+ ,RHEA1 RAIS$ !IR H&S 9 FAVOR ( EVICT+ ME4 

,?AT WAS ,RHEA'S REV5GE = ! FACT ?AT ,ALEC HAD AB&ON$ H] AS WELL AS H] ORGANIZATION1 & PROBABLY ALSO = ! FACT ?AT %E HAD BE5 EXCLUD$ FROM :AT WAS 9 A WAY H] CREATION1 ! (F-CAMPUS PAP]4 ,) ?AT VOTE %E WAS ALSO GETT+ EV5 ) H]SELF = HAV+ ADMIR$ ?IS 0P]FECT PROLET>IAN0 SO MU* :5 WE FIR/ MET4 ,P]HAPS 9 SOME /RANGE WAY %E WAS ALSO ACT+ AS ! 9/RUM5T ( ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS' REV5GE AGA9/ ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS1 AL?\< ,RHEA C\LDN'T HAVE KN[N AB\T MY CONNECTION TO ,ALB]TS4 ,I UND]/OOD H[ ,DEBBIE MU/ HAVE FELT :5 %E WAS FIR$1 & P>TICUL>LY :5 %E LE>N$ ! ROLE H] =M] FRI5D HAD PLAY$ 9 ! FIR+4 

,AFT] ?AT HORRID VOTE ,I />T$ TO BAWL4 ,EV]YONE LEFT ! ROOM4 ,NOT ONE P]SON /AY$ ) ME1 EV5 TO CONSOLE ME4 ,I FELT LIKE A LEP]4 

,I DRAGG$ MYSELF TO MY ROOM & CRI$ MYSELF TO SLEEP EXACTLY ! WAY ,I HAD DONE :5 ,I'D BE5 EXCLUD$ FROM ,OMISSIONS4 ,:5 ,I WOKE UP 9 ! MORN+ ,I />T$ CRY+ AGA94 ,H[ T]RIBLY CRUEL IT IS TO EVICT SOMEONE4 ,I LOOK$ HELPLESSLY AT MY FAMILI> ROOM1 AT MY UNF9I%$ MANUSCRIPT1 AT MY /ACK ( NEWSPAP]S4 ,I HAD NO:]E TO GO & ,I WASN'T ABLE TO GO ANY:]E ELSE EV5 IF ,I HAD WANT$ TO4 ,I HAD NO MONEY4 ,I'D HAD A TUITION S*OL>%IP DUR+ MY ?REE & A HALF YE>S 9 S*OOL & MY ROOM & BO>D AT ! CO-OP HAD BE5 FREE4 ,LUISA HAD GIV5 ME MONEY :5 ,I HAD />T$ COLLEGE BUT ,I HAD ALWAYS RETURN$ IT BECAUSE ,I REALLY HADN'T NE$$ IT4 ,! LITTLE ,I'D KEPT :5 ,LUISA 9SI/$ WAS 9 A SAV+S ACC\NT1 & ,I HADN'T SP5T ANY ( IT4 ,BUT ALL MY SAV+S C\LDN'T HAVE PAID = A S+LE WEEK'S R5T & FOOD4 

,I DIDN'T HAVE MU* TO PACK EXCEPT MANUSCRIPTS1 NOTEBOOKS1 NEWSPAP]S & BOOKS4 ,I HADN'T B\<T CLO!S S9CE HI< S*OOL & SOME ( !M W]E SO OLD ,I /UCK !M 9TO ! G>BAGE 9/EAD ( PACK+ !M4 

,I W5T TO ! BUS /ATION & /UCK ALL MY BELONG+S 9SIDE A LOCK]4 ,I W&]$ >\ND ! UGLY /ATION & WALK$ AIMLESSLY AMID ! CR[DS ON ! D[NT[N /REETS4 ,I WAS LIKE A P]SON :O HAD JU/ >RIV$ 9 ! CITY1 A P]SON :O DIDN'T KN[ :AT %E W\LD DO H]E1 :OM %E'D MEET1 :AT %E'D BECOME4 

,I W5T TO A DRUG /ORE & SIPP$ A CUP ( C(FEE4 ,IT WAS ONLY !N ?AT ,I />T$ TO ?9K AB\T :AT ,I W\LD DO NEXT4 ,BUT ,I C\LDN'T ?9K AB\T IT COH]5TLY4 ,IMAGES KEPT FLY+ ?R\< MY M9D3 IMAGES ( ! DISAPPO9T+ FUN]AL PROCESSION1 ( ,ALEC TELL+ US :Y WE HAD BE5 EXCLUD$ FROM ,OMISSIONS1 ( ,RHEA'S H& RAIS$ 9 FAVOR ( MY EVICTION4 

,! MO/ OBVI\S ?+ W\LD HAVE BE5 TO GO TO ,LUISA4 ,BUT ,I C\LDN'T /& ! ?\<T ( DO+ ?AT4 ,I KNEW ,I'D SP5D ALL MY TIME SITT+ 9 MY ROOM />+ AT ! WALLS ! WAY ,I'D DONE BE=E ,I />T$ HI< S*OOL4 ,9 ?AT ROOM ,I W\LDN'T BE ABLE TO CONT9UE MY NOVEL AB\T ! UNIV]SITY NEWSPAP]1 & ,I C]TA9LY W\LDN'T PULL \T ! MANUSCRIPT ( MY FIR/ NOVEL4 ,& ! ?\<T ( BREAK+ D[N & BAWL+ 9 FRONT ( ,LUISA FRI<T5$ ME4 ,IT W\LD CREATE A RELATION%IP ?AT HADN'T EXI/$ BETWE5 US = AS LONG AS ,I C\LD REMEMB]3 ,I W\LD BECOME A HELPLESS & DEP5D5T *ILD & %E'D BECOME MY PROTECTIVE MO!R4 ,I DIDN'T KN[ IF %E WAS ABLE TO PLAY ?AT ROLE1 BUT IF %E DID PLAY IT1 ,I KNEW ,I'D HATE H] AFT]W>DS BECAUSE ,I'D BE T]RIBLY HUMILIAT$ TO HAVE TO ASS]T MY 9DEP5D5CE AGA94 

,I C\LD HAVE GONE TO ,ALEC4 ,HE HAD ALREADY ASK$ ME TO MOVE 9 ) HIM4 ,BUT 9 ! /ATE ,I WAS 91 ?AT W\LD HAVE BE5 EV5 WORSE ?AN RETURN+ TO ,LUISA4 ,HELPLESS & COMPLETELY LO/1 ,I W\LD AUTOMATICALLY HAVE BECOME HIS 0BURD50 & HIS 0RESPONSIBILITY40 ,I C\LD IMAG9E HIM SAY+1 0,JU/ GO AHEAD & CRY ON MY %\LD]1 ,SOPHIE2 EV]Y?+'S GO+ TO BE ALL RI<T40 ,SOON ,I'D BE HIS WIFE1 & !N HIS 0OLD LADY40 ,BY !N ANY K9D ( SEP>ATION W\LD BE EXTREMELY PA9FUL IF NOT ALTOGE!R IMPOSSIBLE4 ,I DECID$ NOT EV5 TO CONTACT ,ALEC UNTIL ,I HAD SOLV$ MY LIV+ PROBLEMS4 

,( C\RSE ,I C\LD HAVE ?\<T ( GO+ TO WORK LIKE ANY 0NORMAL0 P]SON1 BUT ,I HAD NEV] WORK$ BE=E & ! M]E ?\<T ( LOOK+ = A JOB MADE ME FEEL LIKE VOMITT+4 ,IS ?IS REVULSION A TRAIT ,I %>E ) ! PEOPLE ,JASNA DESCRIB$1 OR DOES IT HAVE SOME?+ TO DO ) ! NATURE ( 0WORK0 9 ?IS SOCIETY8 

,LEM W\LD HAVE BE5 DELI<T$ TO PUT ME UP1 & ,I C\LD EASILY HAVE DISPELL$ ANY EXPECTATIONS HE MI<T HAVE HAD1 BUT ,LEM WAS BY !N 9 Y\R P>T ( ! WORLD4 ,& ,I DIDN'T WANT TO SEEK HELP FROM ANY ( ! O!RS ON ! ,OMISSIONS /AFF4 ,MY EXCLUSION FROM ! PAP] WAS F> TOO SIMIL> TO MY EVICTION FROM ! CO-OP4 

,:ILE ,I WAS CONSID]+ & REJECT+ ALL !SE ALT]NATIVES1 ! SOLUTION WAS ALREADY 9 ! BACK ( MY M9D4 ,I W\LD TURN TO ,SAB9A4 ,AT ?AT MOM5T IT SEEM$ ?AT %E WAS ! ONLY P]SON 9 ! WORLD ,I C\LD TURN TO4 ,%E W\LDN'T ASK ANY QUE/IONS4 ,%E W\LDN'T BECOME MY PROTECTRESS4 ,I C\LD COME & GO AS ,I PLEAS$ & :5 ,I PLEAS$4 ,& ,I KNEW %E W\LDN'T TURN ME AWAY4 

,I HAD NO IDEA :]E ,SAB9A WAS4 ,I HADN'T SE5 H] = TWO YE>S1 S9CE ! NI<T %E HAD COME TO ! CO-OP TO TELL ME ,RON HAD BE5 KILL$4 ,I DIDN'T EV5 KN[ H[ TO />T LOOK+ = H]4 ,I HAD A HUN* & IT TURN$ \T TO BE RI<T4 ,I SUSPECT$ ?AT %E WAS /ILL TOGE!R ) ,RON'S FRI5DS1 OR EV5 ?AT %E WAS DIRECTLY 9 CONTACT ) ,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS1 S9CE ?AT WAS PROBABLY H[ %E HAD LE>N$ ( ,RON'S DEA?4 ,I ALSO REMEMB]$ ?AT ,SAB9A HAD ONCE /AY$ AT ,DEBBIE'S H\SE4 

,DEBBIE ,MAT!WS SUDD5LY BECAME V]Y IMPORTANT TO ME4 ,I HADN'T EV] GONE TO SEE H] :5 %E'D BE5 FIR$ FROM HI< S*OOL & ,I P>TICUL>LY REGRETT$ NOT HAV+ GONE TO H] :5 ,I'D LE>N$ AB\T ,RON'S DEA?4 ,I BECAME SO CONV9C$ ?AT ,DEBBIE W\LD KN[ :]E ,SAB9A WAS ?AT ,I RETURN$ TO ! BUS /ATION & TOOK MY ?+S BACK \T ( ! LOCK]4 

,IT WAS /ILL MORN+ :5 ,I RANG ! BELL AT ! ,MAT!WS H\SE1 HUGG+ ALL MY POSSESSIONS4 ,DEBBIE OP5$ ! DOOR4 ,WE HAD SE5 EA* O!R AT ,RON'S TRIAL BUT %E DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME4 ,%E ASK$ :AT ,I WANT$4 ,%E WAS DRUNK4 ,I TOLD H] ,I WAS ,LEM ,ICEL'S FRI5D & ,SAB9A ,NA*ALO'S SI/]1 ?AT ,I HAD ONCE GONE ) ,RON1 & ?AT ,I WAS DESP]ATELY TRY+ TO F9D ,SAB9A4 

0,Y\'RE ! O!R ,ALB]TS GIRL60 %E EXCLAIM$1 BUT %E ASK$ ME 9 ANYWAY4 

,AS SOON AS ,I WAS 9 ! LIV+ ROOM ,I BECAME HY/]ICAL4 ,I %\T$ ?AT ,I WASN'T ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS' GIRL1 ?AT ,ALB]TS HAD NEV] BE5 EI!R MY FRI5D OR MY FA!R1 ?AT ,I HAT$ HIM AS MU* AS %E DID4 ,I TOLD H] ,I HAT$ ,ALB]TS MORE ?AN EV] AT ?AT V]Y MOM5T BECAUSE ,DEBBIE'S [N FRI5DS ,LEM ,ICEL & ,RHEA ,MORPH5 HAD DONE TO ME EXACTLY :AT ,ALB]TS HAD DONE TO H]4 ,I BAWL$4 ,I ACT$ \T ! V]Y SC5E ,I HADN'T WANT$ TO P]=M = ,LUISA4 ,I TOLD H] AB\T ,LEM'S ROLE 9 MY EXCLUSION FROM ,OMISSIONS & AB\T ,RHEA'S ROLE 9 MY EVICTION FROM ! CO-OP4 ,I TOLD H] ,SAB9A WAS ! LA/ P]SON ,I HAD LEFT 9 ! WORLD & ?AT ,I HAD NO IDEA :AT W\LD HAPP5 TO ME IF ,I DIDN'T F9D H]4 

,DEBBIE P\R$ ME A DR9K & SAID ALMO/ EXACTLY :AT ,I W\LD HAVE EXPECT$ ,ALEC TO SAY IF ,I'D GONE TO HIM4 0,TAKE IT EASY1 KID4 ,EV]Y?+ IS GO+ TO BE ALL RI<T4 ,!RE'S NO REASON TO HAVE A FIT2 ?AT WON'T HELP ANY40 

,%E LEFT ! ROOM TO WA% & PUT ON A DRESS4 ,%E LOOK$ ALMO/ SOB] :5 %E RETURN$4 0,COME ON10%E SAID2 0!IR G>AGE IS RI<T D[N ! /REET4 ,I'VE NEV] GONE !RE BE=E4 ,N['S AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY40 

,:5 WE LEFT H] H\SE %E C>RI$ MO/ ( MY PACKAGES4 ,I MU/ HAVE BE5 ! ONE :O LOOK$ DRUNK4 

,BY ! TIME WE REA*$ ! G>AGE ,I MI<T AS WELL HAVE BE5 9 A =EIGN L& :]E ,I KNEW NEI!R ! LANGUAGE NOR ! CU/OMS4 ,I HAD CRI$ SO MU* ?AT DAY ?AT A FILM ( TE>S HAD =M$ 9 MY EYES & EV]Y?+ LOOK$ DI/ORT$4 ,I WAS LIKE A P]SON WALK+ 9 H] SLEEP OR UND] HYPNOSIS4 ,NO?+ W\LD HAVE SURPRIS$ ME4 ,I HAD /OPP$ RESPOND+ TO :AT WAS HAPP5+ >\ND ME4 

,ONE ( ! ME*ANICS RAN UP TO ,DEBBIE & ASK$1 0,IS SOME?+ WRONG80 

,DEBBIE ANSW]$1 0,NOT ) ME4 ,?IS GIRL SAYS %E'S ,SAB9A'S SI/]4 ,%E NE$S A PLACE TO /AY40 

0,SO Y\'RE ,SOPHIE60 ! ME*ANIC SAID4 0,RON NEV] /OPP$ TALK+ AB\T Y\4 ,I REMEMB] SEE+ Y\ AT HIS TRIAL40 

,I REMEMB]$ SEE+ HIM TOO4 ,HE WAS ,JOSE4 ,PO9T+ TO ! O!R TWO ME*ANICS HE SAID1 0,?AT'S ,VIC ,TURAM OV] !RE & ?IS IS ,T$ ,NASIBU40 

0,I REMEMB] ,T$10 ,I SAID1 TRY+ TO SMILE4 0,HE'S ! C> ?IEF ,RON TOLD ME AB\T40 

,JOSE LOOK$ EMB>RASS$ BY MY COMM5T4 ,APP>5TLY 0,DEBBIE DIDN'T KN[ :AT K9D ( G>AGE IT WAS4 ,I WANT$ TO APOLOGIZE BUT JU/ !N A LITTLE GIRL RAN UP TO US4 ,%E MU/ HAVE BE5 SIX YE>S OLD4 ,JOSE TOLD ,DEBBIE & ME1 0,?IS IS ,RON'S KID40 

,DEBBIE EMBRAC$ ! LITTLE GIRL & SAID1 0,%E SURE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HIM40 

,IT WAS ,T9A4 ,I HADN'T SE5 H] S9CE %E'D BE5 A BUNDLE ON ! C\* 9 ,GEORGE ,ALB]TS' H\SE4 

,T9A RAN 9TO ! H\SE & A FEW M9UTES LAT] RETURN$ ) ,SAB9A4 ,AS SOON AS ,I SAW ,SAB9A ,I RAN TO H] & ?REW MY >MS >\ND H]4 ,I HADN'T BE5 SO GLAD TO SEE ANYONE S9CE ! NI<T1 F\R YE>S E>LI]1 :5 ,SAB9A HAD ?R[N PEBBLES AT MY W9D[1 ! NI<T :5 %E & ,RON HAD COME TO TELL ME AB\T ,RON'S EXP]I5CES 9 RE=M S*OOL4 ,I HELD ON TO ,SAB9A & LET ALL ! RE/ ( MY TE>S RUN D[N TO H] %\LD]4 0,I'VE BE5 EXCLUD$ FROM EV]Y?+10 ,I SOBB$2 0,I'M A COMPLETE \TSID]40 

,SAB9A LOOS5$ H]SELF FROM MY EMBRACE4 ,I SAW ?AT !RE W]E TE>S 9 H] EYES4 ,%E PUT H] >M >\ND ME & HELP$ ME TO ! AP>TM5T BEH9D ! G>AGE4 ,AFT] LETT+ ME D[N ON A KIT*5 *AIR %E W5T BACK TO ! G>AGE TO ASK ,DEBBIE IF %E WANT$ TO JO9 US = C(FEE4 ,DEBBIE APP>5TLY DIDN'T WANT TO BE 5T]TA9$ BY BO? 0,ALB]TS GIRLS0 BECAUSE ,SAB9A CAME BACK ALONE4 ,%E GAVE ME A WET T[EL SO ,I C\LD WIPE ! /REAMS ( TE>S (F MY FACE4 ,!N %E GAVE ME A CUP ( /RONG BLACK C(FEE & A B[L ( ?ICK SO UP4 ,I FELT MU* BETT]1 ?\< ,I WAS /ILL AS DISORI5T$ AS A T\RI/ 9 AN EXOTIC L&4 

,A Y\NG WOMAN -- OR RA!R A GIRL3 %E C\LDN'T HAVE BE5 OV] F\RTE5 -- BUR/ 9TO ! KIT*5 FROM ANO!R ROOM1 RU%$ TO ! /OVE & P\R$ H]SELF C(FEE4 ,H] H&S TREMBL$ & %E HAD D>K R+S >\ND H] EYES4 

,SAB9A SAID1 ',TISSIE1 ?IS IS ,SOPHIA4 ,%E'S GO+ TO /AY ) US40 

,TISSIE TURN$ TO ME & SAID1 0,SO Y\'RE ! COLLEGE SI/]60 & %E ABRUPTLY LEFT ! ROOM ) H] CUP ( C(FEE4 

,I ASK$ ,SAB9A IF ,TISSIE WAS SICK & ,SAB9A SAID1 V]Y MATT]-(-FACTLY1 0,%E'S A H]O9 ADDICT40 ,I HAD NEV] SE5 A H]O9 ADDICT BE=E4 

,SAB9A TOLD ME !RE WAS AN EXTRA B$ 9 H] ROOM AS WELL AS 9 ,T9A'S ROOM & SUGGE/$ ,I /AY 9 ,T9A'S ROOM BECAUSE ,SAB9A SLEPT DUR+ ODD H\RS4 ,I ASK$ ,SAB9A IF %E TOOK P>T 9 ! C> !FTS4 

0,NOT ANY MORE10 %E SAID4 0,IT'S MA9LY ,T$ :O DOES ?AT4 ,T9A HELPS FIX ! C>S UP4 ,%E'S GETT+ QUITE GOOD AT IT4 ,VIC SPECIALIZES 9 H]O94 ,HE SELLS IT TO ! RI* AT A B> RUN BY A FRI5D ( HIS & TO ! POOR RI<T 9 ! G>AGE40 

,TISSIE CAME BACK 9TO ! ROOM & P\R$ H]SELF ANO!R CUP ( C(FEE4 

0,TISSIE & ,I WORK 9 ! B>10 ,SAB9A CONT9U$4 

,TISSIE TURN$ TO ,SAB9A & SAID1 0,Y\ \<T TO BR+ Y\R SI/] ALONG & %[ H] :AT WE DO40 

,SAB9A SNAPP$ AT ,TISSIE1 0,SOPHIA CAN DO :ATEV] ! HELL %E WANTS1 & ,I'M NOT TAK+ H] ANY:]E40 

,:5 ,TISSIE LEFT AGA9 ,I ASK$ :AT K9D ( WORK !Y DID4 

0,IT'S LIKE EV]Y?+ ELSE WE DO H]E1 ,SOPHIA10 ,SAB9A ANSW]$4 0,IT'S EASI] ?AN MANY O!R ?+S1 IT PAYS BETT] ?AN MO/1 !RE'S NO DRUDG]Y1 SOMETIMES !RE'S A LOT ( ADV5TURE1 & WE CAN WORK :5EV] WE PLEASE40 

,I DIDN'T ASK ,SAB9A IF %E & ,TISSIE W]E WAITRESSES4 ,I SAID1 0,I DON'T M9D1 Y\ KN[4 ,I CAME TO ASK = HELP4 ,I HAV5'T COME TO JUDGE Y\40 

0,DON'T Y\ WORRY AB\T ME10 %E SAID4 0,:Y DON'T Y\ GO GET SOME SLEEP4 ,Y\ LOOK JU/ LIKE A H]O9 ADDICT40 

,SAB9A WAS RI<T4 ,I WAS EXHAU/$4 ,I FELL ASLEEP AS SOON AS ,I LAY D[N4 ,:5 ,I WOKE UP ,T9A WAS ALREADY ASLEEP4 ,I W5T TO ! KIT*5 TO F9D SOME?+ TO EAT4 ,IT WAS PA/ MIDNI<T4 ,TISSIE WAS SITT+ AT ! KIT*5 TABLE SIPP+ H] C(FEE4 

0,Y\ SLEEP ALL DAY1 SIS80 %E ASK$4 0,SO DID ,I4 ,I'M GETT+ A LATE />T4 ,WANT TO COME ALONG80 

0,TO ! B>80 ,I ASK$1 LOOK+ >\ND N]V\SLY4 0,:]E'S ,SAB9A80 

0,%E MU/ HAVE LEFT TWO OR ?REE H\RS AGO10 ,TISSIE SAID4 0,%E'LL NEV] TAKE Y\ !RE4 ,%E TOLD ME4 ,WANT TO COME80 

0,I DON'T HAVE A DRESS10 ,I SAID4 ,I WAS AFRAID4 ,BUT ,I WAS ALSO CURI\S4 ,ALL DAY LONG ,I HAD FELT LIKE A T\RI/ BUT ,I HAD BE5 TOO UPSET & TOO TIR$ TO ABSORB MY NEW SURR\ND+S4 ,AFT] HAV+ SLEPT ,I FELT REFRE%$ & WANT$ TO SEE MORE1 

0,Y\ CAN WE> ONE ( ,SAB9A'S DRESSES4 ,%E'S GOT DOZ5S & WE TRADE ALL ! TIME4 ,%E'LL NEV] MISS IT10 ,TISSIE SAID4 

,I CAN'T SAY ?AT ,I WAS 9TRIGU$ BY ! PROSPECT1 BECAUSE ?AT WORD SUGGE/S A MU* MORE ACTIVE /ATE ?AN ! ONE ,I WAS 94 ,I WAS HALF-WAY 9 A /UPOR4 ,I ?9K AT ?AT MOM5T ,I W\LD HAVE LET ANYONE TAKE ME ANY:]E4 ,I WANT$ TO SEE :ATEV] !RE WAS TO BE SE51 TO TAKE P>T 9 EV]Y?+ ?OSE >\ND ME DID4 

,AS WE LEFT ! G>AGE1 ,TISSIE TOLD ME1 0,DON'T Y\ EV] LET !M KN[ ,I TOOK Y\ !RE1 NEI!R ,SAB9A NOR ,JOSE NOR ,T$4 ,!Y'LL GIVE ME HELL40 

0,WON'T ,SAB9A SEE ME !RE80 ,I ASK$4 

,TISSIE SAID1 0,%E'LL BE GONE BY N[4 ,I'M TELL+ Y\1 %E'LL NEV] KN[ UNLESS Y\ TELL H]40 

,! ONLY B> ,I HAD EV] BE5 TO BE=E WAS A B> NE> CAMPUS :]E ,ALEC HAD TAK5 ME4 ,/UD5TS DRANK BE] !RE1 SITT+ ON PLA/IC-COV]$ SEATS WAT*+ TELEVISION4 ,! B> ,I 5T]$ ) ,TISSIE LOOK$ LIKE MY IDEA ( A NI<TCLUB4 ,!RE W]E *&ELI]S1 LIVE MUSICIANS & A S+]1 PLU% *AIRS & PR(ESSIONAL WAIT]S4 ,I HAD NEV] SE5 ANY?+ SO LUXURI\S4 

,TISSIE PLAC$ ME ON A /OOL AT ONE 5D ( ! B>4 0,BUT :AT AM ,I SUPPOS$ TO DO80 ,I ASK$ H]4 

0,IT'LL ALL COME TO Y\1 SIS10 %E SAID PATRONIZ+LY1 & WALK$ (F TO TALK TO SOMEONE4 

,I MU/ HAVE GONE 9TO A TRANCE4 ,:5 ,I CAME \T ( IT ,I F\ND MYSELF 9SIDE A *AUFFEUR-DRIV5 C>4 ,NEXT TO ME SAT A L>GE1 MIDDLE-AG$ MAN :O MU/ HAVE BE5 A CITY POLITICIAN OR A CORPORATION EXECUTIVE4 ,ABSOLUTE *AOS SWEPT ?R\< MY M9D4 ,I />T$ TO %AKE ) FE>4 ,! *AUFFEUR1 ! MAN NEXT TO ME1 ! NOISE1 ! NEON SIGNS1 ! C> LI<TS ALL T]RIFI$ ME4 ,I FELT MY HE>T P\ND+ 9 MY /OMA* & ,I WANT$ TO VOMIT4 

,! MAN MU/ HAVE NOTIC$ MY AGITATION4 0,SOME?+ WRONG ) Y\80 HE ASK$4 

,I DON'T ?9K ,I'VE EV] ?\<T SO QUICKLY 9 A CRISIS4 0,YES10 ,I SAID4 0,I =GOT MY TRANQUILIZ] PILLS4 ,I'VE GOT TO /OP AT A DRUG-/ORE40 

,HE HAD ! DRIV] PULL OV] BY A DRUG/ORE4 ,BUT !N HE SAID1 0,I NE$ CIG>ETTES ANYWAY4 ,I'LL GET Y\R PILLS4 ,:AT K9D >E !Y80 

0,OH4 ,I HAVE A PRESCRIPTION = !M10 ,I SAID AS CALMLY AS ,I C\LD1 0& ,I'M ! ONLY ONE :O CAN USE IT4 ,I'LL GET Y\R CIG>ETTES40 

,HE />T$ REA*+ = HIS WALLET BUT ,I JUMP$ \T ( ! C> BE=E HE HAD A *ANCE TO GIVE ME ! CIG>ETTE MONEY4 ,I IMM$IATELY WI%$ ,I'D ASK$ :AT BR& HE SMOK$1 OR HAD AT LEA/ WAIT$ = ! MONEY4 ,I WAS AFRAID HE'D COME RUNN+ AFT] ME4 

,I TRI$ TO WALK NON*ALANTLY TO ! DRUG/ORE 5TRANCE1 BUT AS SOON AS ,I WAS 9SIDE ,I RAN TO ! :ITE-FROCK$ MAN BEH9D ! C\NT]4 ,HE WAS ALONE4 ,I />T$ %AK+ HIM BY ! %\LD]S4 0,SOMEONE'S AFT] ME10 ,I /AMM]$4 0,PLEASE1 :]E'S Y\R BACK DOOR80 

,! POOR DRUGGI/ LOOK$ AS FRI<T5$ AS HE MI<T HAVE LOOK$ IF SOMEONE W]E HOLD+ HIM UP4 ,I SUPPOSE HE WAS GLAD ?AT ,I WASN'T ASK+ = HIS MONEY4 ,HE RU%$ TO ! BACK DOOR1 FRANTICALLY UNDID SEV]AL BOLTS & REMOV$ AN IRON B>4 ,HOLD+ ON TO ! B>1 HE OP5$ ! DOOR & PEEK$ \T TO SEE IF ANYONE WAS 9 ! ALLEY4 ,I SUPPOSE HE ?\<T ,I MI<T BE LUR+ HIM 9TO AN AMBU%4 ,SATISFI$ ?AT !RE WAS NO ONE !RE1 HE OP5$ ! DOOR4 ,I BOLT$ ?R\< IT )\T ?ANK+ HIM4 

,I RAN ?R\< ALLEYS & ALONG DES]T$ /REETS LIKE A HUNT$ ANIMAL4 ,I WANT$ TO RUN TO ! UNIV]SITY CO-OP1 TO MY FAMILI> SURR\ND+S4 ,BUT ?AT WAS NO LONG] MY WORLD4 ,I RAN TO ! G>AGE & P\ND$ HY/]ICALLY ON ! DOOR4 ,JOSE LET ME 94 ,HE & ,T$ W]E /ILL WORK+4 

0,GOD DAMN IT60 ,JOSE MURMUR$4 0,DID ,TISSIE ALREADY TAKE Y\ !RE8 ,OR WAS IT ,SAB9A80 

,I SUDD5LY FELT T]RIBLY A%AM$4 ,I HAD BETRAY$ MY NEW HO/ESSES4 0,PLEASE DON'T M5TION ?IS TO ,SAB9A OR ,TISSIE6 ,NO?+ AT ALL HAPP5$10 ,I SAID4 0,I GOT SC>$ & RAN AWAY40 

,JOSE & ,T$ BO? LAU<$4 ,!N ,T$ SAID1 0,GOOD = Y\1 KID40 

,JOSE SAID1 0,LOOK1 ,SAB9A %\LD HAVE TOLD Y\ ?IS3 NO ONE >\ND H]E EXPECTS Y\ TO DO ANY WORK4 ,RON'S GIRL IS \R GUE/1 DO Y\ UND]/& ?AT80 

,I WAS HURT & HUMILIAT$ BY ,JOSE'S /ATEM5T4 ,I WAS TO BE A GUE/1 A P]MAN5T VISITOR4 ,I WAS AN \TSID] AGA91 ONLY A FEW H\RS AFT] MY >RIVAL4 ,BUT ,I JU/ C\LDN'T MAKE MYSELF DO ! ?+S ?AT W\LD HAVE MADE ME A P>T ( ?AT COMMUNITY4 ,?OSE ?+S MAY HAVE BE5 P>T ( ,RON'S WORLD BUT !Y HAD NOT BE5 ! P>T ,I HAD S\<T :5 ,I HAD GONE WALK+ & RID+ ) HIM4 ,I C\LDN'T TURN MYSELF 9TO A PR(ESSIONAL PRO/ITUTE4 ,:Y8 ,IS IT REALLY BECAUSE ( :AT Y\ & ,JASNA SAY 9 Y\R LETT]8 ,IS IT REALLY BECAUSE MY ACTIVITIES 9 ! C>TON PLANT SPOIL$ ME1 TURN$ ME 9TO A TRAITOR AGA9/ MY CLASS & TAU<T ME TO SEEK MY ROLE ABOVE MY CLASS8 ,I DIDN'T ?9K SO ?AT NI<T :5 ,I RAN BACK TO ! G>AGE1 & ,I /ILL DON'T ?9K SO4 ,I DIDN'T ?9K ?AT FAY LEAV+ ! UNIV]SITY ,I HAD AB&ON$ ! OPPORTUNI/S & REJO9$ ! WORK+ CLASS4 ,NOR DID ,I ?9K ?AT IT WAS OPPORTUNI/IC TO REFUSE TO 5GAGE 9 ,TISSIE'S & ,SAB9A'S ACTIVITY4 ,= Y\ IT'S SO CLE> & OBVI\S :]E ! OPPORTUNISM LIES4 ,= ME IT'S NOT NE>LY AS OBVI\S4 ,MY ACTIVITIES ON ! NEWSPAP] /AFF DIDN'T GIVE ME MONEY OR FAME & !Y DIDN'T SECURE MY FUTURE RISE 9 ANY BUREAUCRATIC HI]>*Y1 :]EAS ,SAB9A'S ACTIVITY W\LD HAVE GIV5 ME MONEY1 PROBABLY A C> ( MY [N1 AS WELL AS A C]TA9 TYPE ( ADV5TURE4 ,IT'S NOT ?AT ,I CONSID] ,SAB9A AN OPPORTUNI/4 ,%E'S ALWAYS WANT$ TO IMM]SE H]SELF 9 EV]Y?+1 TO TRY EV]Y?+ \T1 TO LIVE EV]Y POSSIBLE ADV5TURE4 ,%E NEV] DREW ANY L9ES1 %E NEV] E/ABLI%$ ANY LIMITS4 ,I ALWAYS DID4 ,YET EV5 ?\< ,I WAS ! ONE :O DREW ! L9ES1 %E WAS ULTIMATELY MORE PR9CIPL$ BECAUSE ! L9ES ,I DREW W]E >BITR>Y4 ,I DREAD$ SELL+ MY M9D1 TIME & 5]GY YET EV5TUALLY ,I DID SELL !SE P>TS ( MYSELF2 ,I NEV]!LESS CONV9C$ MYSELF ?AT SELL+ MY BODY WAS WORSE & ,I DREW ! L9E !RE BECAUSE ?AT'S :]E ! RUL+ MORALITY DRAWS IT4 ,! ACTIVITIES ,I HAD LEFT W]E ! ACTIVITIES ,I WANT$4 ,TO ME ?OSE ACTIVITIES HAD SOME?+ TO DO ) :AT WAS HAPP5+ 9 ,MAG>NA2 !Y W]E ! K9DS ( PROJECTS ,I TRI$ TO DESCRIBE 9 MY NOVEL & 9 ! LETT]S ,I WROTE TO ALL ( Y\4 ,IT WAS = ! SAKE ( SU* PROJECTS & SU* A COMMUNITY ?AT ,I REJECT$ ! WORLD TO :I* ,TISSIE 9TRODUC$ ME4 

,AFT] MY EXP]I5CE AT ! C>TON PLANT ,I WAS NEV] ABLE TO F9D ANY?+ ?AT RESEMBL$ ! K9D ( PROJECT ,I HAD S\<T & :5 SOME?+ LIKE IT WAS BORN ) ,OMISSIONS1 ,I WAS EXCLUD$4 ,:AT ,I S\<T IS UNFOLD+ >\ND Y\ RI<T N[ & Y\R LETT]S TELL ME ?AT EV]Y?+ ,I /& = IS ALI5 TO ?AT ACTIVITY4 ,ALL RI<T4 ,MAYBE ?AT'S :AT ,I'VE BECOME & MAYBE ?AT'S :AT ,I'VE ALWAYS BE54 ,BUT ,I WANT Y\ TO KN[ ?AT FROM ! BOTTOM ( MY HE>T ,I HOPE Y\ & Y\R FRI5DS >E N[ CREAT+ ! COMMUNITY ,I S\<T 9 EV]Y 5VIRONM5T D[N TO ! UND]WORLD1 ! COMMUNITY ,I TRI$ TO 9V5T 9 MY NOVEL BECAUSE ,I NEV] F\ND IT 9 MY LIFE4  
  

,MY LOVE TO ,JASNA1 ,MIRNA1 ,Y>A & Y\1  

,SOPHIA4  

,FROM 3 ,!,AN>*I/,LIBR>Y4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #aige 3 ,SOPHIA'S ,F\R? ,LETT] -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,APRIL #b#f1 #bb 3 ,SOPHIA'S ,F\R? ,LETT] -- ,ADD$4 

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