,P>T #h1 ,*APT] #ab 

#ahggahgg 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TRANSLATOR 3 ,CON/ANCE ,CL>A ,G>NETT 

,TEXT 3 

,LEV9 /RODE ALONG ! HI<ROAD1 ABSORB$ NOT SO MU* 9 HIS ?\<TS 7HE C\LD NOT YET DIS5TANGLE !M7 AS 9 HIS SPIRITUAL CONDITION1 UNLIKE ANY?+ HE HAD EXP]I5C$ BE=E4 

,! WORDS UTT]$ BY ! PEASANT HAD ACT$ ON HIS S\L LIKE AN ELECTRIC %OCK1 SUDD5LY TRANS=M+ & COMB9+ 9TO A S+LE :OLE ! :OLE SW>M ( DISJO9T$1 IMPOT5T1 SEP>ATE ?\<TS ?AT 9CESSANTLY OCCUPI$ HIS M9D4 ,!SE ?\<TS HAD UNCONSCI\SLY BE5 9 HIS M9D EV5 :5 HE WAS TALK+ AB\T ! L&4 

,HE WAS AW>E ( SOME?+ NEW 9 HIS S\L1 & JOYFULLY TE/$ ?IS NEW ?+1 NOT YET KN[+ :AT IT WAS4 

0,NOT LIV+ = HIS [N WANTS1 BUT = ,GOD8 ,= :AT ,GOD8 ,& C\LD ONE SAY ANY?+ MORE S5SELESS ?AN :AT HE SAID8 ,HE SAID ?AT ONE MU/ NOT LIVE = ONE'S [N WANTS1 ?AT IS1 ?AT ONE MU/ NOT LIVE = :AT WE UND]/&1 :AT WE >E ATTRACT$ BY1 :AT WE DESIRE1 BUT MU/ LIVE = SOME?+ 9COMPREH5SIBLE1 = ,GOD1 :OM NO ONE CAN UND]/& NOR EV5 DEF9E4 ,:AT ( IT8 ,DIDN'T ,I UND]/& ?OSE S5SELESS WORDS ( ,FYODOR'S8 ,& UND]/&+ !M1 DID ,I D\BT ( !IR TRU?8 ,DID ,I ?9K !M /UPID1 OBSCURE1 9EXACT8 ,NO1 ,I UND]/OOD HIM1 & EXACTLY AS HE UND]/&S ! WORDS4 ,I UND]/OOD !M MORE FULLY & CLE>LY ?AN ,I UND]/& ANY?+ 9 LIFE1 & NEV] 9 MY LIFE HAVE ,I D\BT$ NOR CAN ,I D\BT AB\T IT4 ,& NOT ONLY ,I1 BUT EV]YONE1 ! :OLE WORLD UND]/&S NO?+ FULLY BUT ?IS1 & AB\T ?IS ONLY !Y HAVE NO D\BT & >E ALWAYS AGRE$4 

0,& ,I LOOK$ \T = MIRACLES1 COMPLA9$ ?AT ,I DID NOT SEE A MIRACLE :I* W\LD CONV9CE ME4 ,A MAT]IAL MIRACLE W\LD HAVE P]SUAD$ ME4 ,& H]E IS A MIRACLE1 ! SOLE MIRACLE POSSIBLE1 CONT9UALLY EXI/+1 SURR\ND+ ME ON ALL SIDES1 & ,I NEV] NOTIC$ IT6 

0,FYODOR SAYS ?AT ,KIRILLOV LIVES = HIS BELLY4 ,?AT'S COMPREH5SIBLE & RATIONAL4 ,ALL ( US AS RATIONAL BE+S CAN'T DO ANY?+ ELSE BUT LIVE = \R BELLY4 ,& ALL ( A SUDD5 ! SAME ,FYODOR SAYS ?AT ONE MU/N'T LIVE = ONE'S BELLY1 BUT MU/ LIVE = TRU?1 = ,GOD1 & AT A H9T ,I UND]/& HIM6 ,& ,I & MILLIONS ( M51 M5 :O LIV$ AGES AGO & M5 LIV+ N[--PEASANTS1 ! POOR 9 SPIRIT & ! LE>N$1 :O HAVE ?\<T & WRITT5 AB\T IT1 9 !IR OBSCURE WORDS SAY+ ! SAME ?+--WE >E ALL AGRE$ AB\T ?IS ONE ?+3 :AT WE MU/ LIVE = & :AT IS GOOD4 ,I & ALL M5 HAVE ONLY ONE FIRM1 9CONTE/ABLE1 CLE> KN[L$GE1 & ?AT KN[L$GE CANNOT BE EXPLA9$ BY ! REASON--IT IS \TSIDE IT1 & HAS NO CAUSES & CAN HAVE NO EFFECTS4 

0,IF GOODNESS HAS CAUSES1 IT IS NOT GOODNESS2 IF IT HAS EFFECTS1 A REW>D1 IT IS NOT GOODNESS EI!R4 ,SO GOODNESS IS \TSIDE ! *A9 ( CAUSE & EFFECT4 

0,& YET ,I KN[ IT1 & WE ALL KN[ IT4 

0,:AT C\LD BE A GREAT] MIRACLE ?AN ?AT8 

0,CAN ,I HAVE F\ND ! SOLUTION ( IT ALL8 CAN MY SUFF]+S BE OV]80 ?\<T ,LEV91 /RID+ ALONG ! DU/Y ROAD1 NOT NOTIC+ ! HEAT NOR HIS WE>9ESS1 & EXP]I5C+ A S5SE ( RELIEF FROM PROLONG$ SUFF]+4 ,?IS FEEL+ WAS SO DELICI\S ?AT IT SEEM$ TO HIM 9CR$IBLE4 ,HE WAS BREA?LESS ) EMOTION & 9CAPABLE ( GO+ F>!R2 HE TURN$ (F ! ROAD 9TO ! =E/ & LAY D[N 9 ! %ADE ( AN ASP5 ON ! UNCUT GRASS4 ,HE TOOK HIS HAT (F HIS HOT HEAD & LAY PROPP$ ON HIS ELB[ 9 ! LU%1 FEA!RY1 WOODL& GRASS4 

0,YES1 ,I MU/ MAKE IT CLE> TO MYSELF & UND]/&10 HE ?\<T1 LOOK+ 9T5TLY AT ! UNTRAMPL$ GRASS BE=E HIM1 & FOLL[+ ! MOVEM5TS ( A GRE5 BEETLE1 ADVANC+ ALONG A BLADE ( C\*-GRASS & LIFT+ UP 9 ITS PROGRESS A LEAF ( GOAT-WE$4 0,:AT HAVE ,I DISCOV]$80 HE ASK$ HIMSELF1 B5D+ ASIDE ! LEAF ( GOAT-WE$ \T ( ! BEETLE'S WAY & TWI/+ ANO!R BLADE ( GRASS ABOVE = ! BEETLE TO CROSS OV] ONTO IT4 0,:AT IS IT MAKES ME GLAD8 ,:AT HAVE ,I DISCOV]$8 

0,I HAVE DISCOV]$ NO?+4 ,I HAVE ONLY F\ND \T :AT ,I KNEW4 ,I UND]/& ! =CE ?AT 9 ! PA/ GAVE ME LIFE1 & N[ TOO GIVES ME LIFE4 ,I HAVE BE5 SET FREE FROM FALSITY1 ,I HAVE F\ND ! ,MA/]4 

0,( OLD ,I US$ TO SAY ?AT 9 MY BODY1 ?AT 9 ! BODY ( ?IS GRASS & ( ?IS BEETLE 7!RE1 %E DIDN'T C>E = ! GRASS1 %E'S OP5$ H] W+S & FL[N AWAY71 !RE WAS GO+ ON A TRANS=MATION ( MATT] 9 ACCORDANCE ) PHYSICAL1 *EMICAL1 & PHYSIOLOGICAL LAWS4 ,& 9 ALL ( US1 AS WELL AS 9 ! ASP5S & ! CL\DS & ! MI/Y PAT*ES1 !RE WAS A PROCESS ( EVOLUTION4 ,EVOLUTION FROM :AT8 9TO :AT8--,ET]NAL EVOLUTION & /RUGGLE4444 ,AS ?\< !RE C\LD BE ANY SORT ( T5D5CY & /RUGGLE 9 ! ET]NAL6 ,& ,I WAS A/ONI%$ ?AT 9 SPITE ( ! UTMO/ EF=T ( ?\<T ALONG ?AT ROAD ,I C\LD NOT DISCOV] ! MEAN+ ( LIFE1 ! MEAN+ ( MY IMPULSES & YE>N+S4 ,N[ ,I SAY ?AT ,I KN[ ! MEAN+ ( MY LIFE3 ',TO LIVE = ,GOD1 = MY S\L4' ,& ?IS MEAN+1 9 SPITE ( ITS CLE>NESS1 IS MY/]I\S & M>VEL\S4 ,SU*1 9DE$1 IS ! MEAN+ ( EV]Y?+ EXI/+4 ,YES1 PRIDE10 HE SAID TO HIMSELF1 TURN+ OV] ON HIS /OMA* & BEG9N+ TO TIE A NOOSE ( BLADES ( GRASS1 TRY+ NOT TO BREAK !M4 

0,& NOT M]ELY PRIDE ( 9TELLECT1 BUT DULLNESS ( 9TELLECT4 ,& MO/ ( ALL1 ! DECEITFULNESS2 YES1 ! DECEITFULNESS ( 9TELLECT4 ,! *EAT+ KNAVI%NESS ( 9TELLECT1 ?AT'S IT10 HE SAID TO HIMSELF4 

,& HE BRIEFLY W5T ?R\<1 M5TALLY1 ! :OLE C\RSE ( HIS IDEAS DUR+ ! LA/ TWO YE>S1 ! BEG9N+ ( :I* WAS ! CLE> CONFRONT+ ( DEA? AT ! SI<T ( HIS DE> BRO!R HOPELESSLY ILL4 

,!N1 = ! FIR/ TIME1 GRASP+ ?AT = EV]Y MAN1 & HIMSELF TOO1 !RE WAS NO?+ 9 /ORE BUT SUFF]+1 DEA?1 & =GETFULNESS1 HE HAD MADE UP HIS M9D ?AT LIFE WAS IMPOSSIBLE LIKE ?AT1 & ?AT HE MU/ EI!R 9T]PRET LIFE SO ?AT IT W\LD NOT PRES5T ITSELF TO HIM AS ! EVIL JE/ ( SOME DEVIL1 OR %OOT HIMSELF4 

,BUT HE HAD NOT DONE EI!R1 BUT HAD GONE ON LIV+1 ?9K+1 & FEEL+1 & HAD EV5 AT ?AT V]Y TIME M>RI$1 & HAD HAD MANY JOYS & HAD BE5 HAPPY1 :5 HE WAS NOT ?9K+ ( ! MEAN+ ( HIS LIFE4 

,:AT DID ?IS MEAN8 ,IT MEANT ?AT HE HAD BE5 LIV+ RI<TLY1 BUT ?9K+ WRONGLY4 

,HE HAD LIV$ 7)\T BE+ AW>E ( IT7 ON ?OSE SPIRITUAL TRU?S ?AT HE HAD SUCK$ 9 ) HIS MO!R'S MILK1 BUT HE HAD ?\<T1 NOT M]ELY )\T RECOGNITION ( !SE TRU?S1 BUT /UDI\SLY IGNOR+ !M4 

,N[ IT WAS CLE> TO HIM ?AT HE C\LD ONLY LIVE BY VIRTUE ( ! BELIEFS 9 :I* HE HAD BE5 BR\<T UP4 

0,:AT %\LD ,I HAVE BE51 & H[ %\LD ,I HAVE SP5T MY LIFE1 IF ,I HAD NOT HAD !SE BELIEFS1 IF ,I HAD NOT KN[N ?AT ,I MU/ LIVE = ,GOD & NOT = MY [N DESIRES8 ,I %\LD HAVE ROBB$ & LI$ & KILL$4 ,NO?+ ( :AT MAKES ! *IEF HAPP9ESS ( MY LIFE W\LD HAVE EXI/$ = ME40 ,& ) ! UTMO/ /RET* ( IMAG9ATION HE C\LD NOT CONCEIVE ! BRUTAL CREATURE HE W\LD HAVE BE5 HIMSELF1 IF HE HAD NOT KN[N :AT HE WAS LIV+ =4 

0,I LOOK$ = AN ANSW] TO MY QUE/ION4 ,& ?\<T C\LD NOT GIVE AN ANSW] TO MY QUE/ION--IT IS 9COMM5SURABLE ) MY QUE/ION4 ,! ANSW] HAS BE5 GIV5 ME BY LIFE ITSELF1 9 MY KN[L$GE ( :AT IS RI<T & :AT IS WRONG4 ,& ?AT KN[L$GE ,I DID NOT >RIVE AT 9 ANY WAY1 IT WAS GIV5 TO ME AS TO ALL M51 GIV51 BECAUSE ,I C\LD NOT HAVE GOT IT FROM ANY:]E4 

0,:]E C\LD ,I HAVE GOT IT8 ,BY REASON C\LD ,I HAVE >RIV$ AT KN[+ ?AT ,I MU/ LOVE MY NEI<BOR & NOT OPPRESS HIM8 ,I WAS TOLD ?AT 9 MY *ILDHOOD1 & ,I BELIEV$ IT GLADLY1 = !Y TOLD ME :AT WAS ALREADY 9 MY S\L4 ,BUT :O DISCOV]$ IT8 ,NOT REASON4 ,REASON DISCOV]$ ! /RUGGLE = EXI/5CE1 & ! LAW ?AT REQUIRES US TO OPPRESS ALL :O H9D] ! SATISFACTION ( \R DESIRES4 ,?AT IS ! D$UCTION ( REASON4 ,BUT LOV+ ONE'S NEI<BOR REASON C\LD NEV] DISCOV]1 BECAUSE IT'S IRRATIONAL40 

,FROM 3 ,GUT5B]G4ORG4 

,*RONOLOGY 3 
,NOVEMB] #c1 #ahgf 3 ,P>T #h1 ,*APT] #ab -- ,PUBLICATION4 
,FEBRU>Y #a#e1 #bag 3 ,P>T #h1 ,*APT] #ab -- ,ADD$4 

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