,P>T #e 

#ahhbahhb 

,PEOPLE 3 

,AU?OR 3 ,LEO ,TOL/OY 

,TEXT 3 

0,BUT P]HAPS ,I HAVE OV]LOOK$ SOME?+1 OR MISUND]/OOD 
SOME?+80 SAID TO MYSELF SEV]AL TIMES4 0,IT CANNOT BE ?AT ?IS 
CONDITION ( DESPAIR IS NATURAL TO MAN60 ,& ,I S\<T = AN 
EXPLANATION ( !SE PROBLEMS 9 ALL ! BRAN*ES ( KN[L$GE 
ACQUIR$ BY M54 ,I S\<T PA9FULLY & LONG1 NOT FROM IDLE 
CURIOSITY OR LI/LESSLY1 BUT PA9FULLY & P]SI/5TLY DAY & 
NI<T - S\<T AS A P]I%+ MAN SEEKS = SAFETY - & ,I F\ND 
NO?+4 

,I S\<T 9 ALL ! SCI5CES1 BUT F> FROM F9D+ :AT ,I 
WANT$1 BECAME CONV9C$ ?AT ALL :O LIKE MYSELF HAD S\<T 9 
KN[L$GE = ! MEAN+ ( LIFE HAD F\ND NO?+4 ,& NOT ONLY 
HAD !Y F\ND NO?+1 BUT !Y HAD PLA9LY ACKN[L$G$ ?AT ! 
V]Y ?+ :I* MADE ME DESPAIR - NAMELY ! S5SELESSNESS ( 
LIFE - IS ! ONE 9DUBITABLE ?+ MAN CAN KN[4 

,I S\<T EV]Y:]E2 & ?ANKS TO A LIFE SP5T 9 LE>N+1 
& ?ANKS ALSO TO MY RELATIONS ) ! S*OL>LY WORLD1 ,I HAD 
ACCESS TO SCI5TI/S & S*OL>S 9 ALL BRAN*ES ( KN[L$GE1 & 
!Y READILY %[$ ME ALL !IR KN[L$GE1 NOT ONLY 9 BOOKS BUT 
ALSO 9 CONV]SATION1 SO ?AT ,I HAD AT MY DISPOSAL ALL ?AT SCI5CE 
HAS TO SAY ON ?IS QUE/ION ( LIFE4 

,I WAS LONG UNABLE TO BELIEVE ?AT IT GIVES NO O!R REPLY TO 
LIFE'S QUE/IONS ?AN ?AT :I* IT ACTUALLY DOES GIVE4 ,IT LONG 
SEEM$ TO ME1 :5 ,I SAW ! IMPORTANT & S]I\S AIR ) :I* 
SCI5CE ANN\NCES ITS CONCLUSIONS :I* HAVE NO?+ 9 COMMON ) 
! REAL QUE/IONS ( HUMAN LIFE1 ?AT !RE WAS SOME?+ ,I HAD 
NOT UND]/OOD4 ,I LONG WAS TIMID BE=E SCI5CE1 & IT SEEM$ TO 
ME ?AT ! LACK ( CON=MITY BETWE5 ! ANSW]S & MY QUE/IONS 
>OSE NOT BY ! FAULT ( SCI5CE BUT FROM MY IGNORANCE1 BUT ! 
MATT] WAS = ME NOT A GAME OR AN AMUSEM5T BUT ONE ( LIFE & 
DEA?1 & ,I WAS 9VOLUNT>ILY BR\<T TO ! CONVICTION ?AT MY 
QUE/IONS W]E ! ONLY LEGITIMATE ONES1 =M+ ! BASIS ( ALL 
KN[L$GE1 & ?AT ,I ) MY QUE/IONS WAS NOT TO BLAME1 BUT 
SCI5CE IF IT PRET5DS TO REPLY TO ?OSE QUE/IONS4 

,MY QUE/ION - ?AT :I* AT ! AGE ( FIFTY BR\<T ME TO 
! V]GE ( SUICIDE - WAS ! SIMPLE/ ( QUE/IONS1 LY+ 9 ! 
S\L ( EV]Y MAN FROM ! FOOLI% *ILD TO ! WISE/ ELD]3 IT 
WAS A QUE/ION )\T AN ANSW] TO :I* ONE CANNOT LIVE1 AS ,I HAD 
F\ND BY EXP]I5CE4 ,IT WAS3 0,:AT WILL COME ( :AT ,I AM DO+ 
TODAY OR %ALL DO TOMORR[8 ,:AT WILL COME ( MY :OLE LIFE80 

,DIFF]5TLY EXPRESS$1 ! QUE/ION IS3 0,:Y %\LD ,I LIVE1 
:Y WI% = ANY?+1 OR DO ANY?+80 ,IT CAN ALSO BE EXPRESS$ 
?US3 0,IS !RE ANY MEAN+ 9 MY LIFE ?AT ! 9EVITABLE DEA? 
AWAIT+ ME DOES NOT DE/ROY80 

,TO ?IS ONE QUE/ION1 V>I\SLY EXPRESS$1 ,I S\<T AN ANSW] 
9 SCI5CE4 ,& ,I F\ND ?AT 9 RELATION TO ?AT QUE/ION ALL 
HUMAN KN[L$GE IS DIVID$ AS IT W]E 9TO T[ OPPOSITE HEMISPH]ES 
AT ! 5DS ( :I* >E TWO POLES3 ! ONE A NEGATIVE & ! 
O!R A POSITIVE2 BUT ?AT NEI!R AT ! ONE NOR ! O!R POLE IS 
!RE AN ANSW] TO LIFE'S QUE/IONS4 

,! ONE S]IES ( SCI5CES SEEMS NOT TO RECOGNIZE ! 
QUE/ION1 BUT REPLIES CLE>LY & EXACTLY TO ITS [N 9DEP5D5T 
QUE/IONS3 ?AT IS ! S]IES ( EXP]IM5TAL SCI5CES1 & AT ! 
EXTREME 5D ( IT /&S MA!MATICS4 ,! O!R S]IES ( SCI5CES 
RECOGNIZES ! QUE/ION1 BUT DOES NOT ANSW] IT2 ?AT IS ! S]IES 
( AB/RACT SCI5CES1 & AT ! EXTREME 5D ( IT /&S 
METAPHYSICS4 

,FROM E>LY Y\? ,I HAD BE5 9T]E/$ 9 ! AB/RACT 
SCI5CES1 BUT LAT] ! MA!MATICAL & NATURAL SCI5CES ATTRACT$ 
ME1 & UNTIL ,I PUT MY QUE/ION DEF9ITELY TO MYSELF1 UNTIL ?AT 
QUE/ION HAD ITSELF GR[N UP )9 ME URG5TLY DEM&+ A 
DECISION1 ,I CONT5T$ MYSELF ) ?OSE C\NT]FEIT ANSW]S :I* 
SCI5CE GIVES4 

,N[ 9 ! EXP]IM5TAL SPH]E ,I SAID TO MYSELF3 0,EV]Y?+ 
DEVELOPS & DIFF]5TIATES ITSELF1 MOV+ T[>DS COMPLEXITY & 
P]FECTION1 & !RE >E LAWS DIRECT+ ?IS MOVEM5T4 ,Y\ >E A 
P>T ( ! :OLE4 ,HAV+ LE>N$ AS F> AS POSSIBLE ! :OLE1 & 
HAV+ LE>N$ ! LAW ( EVOLUTION1 Y\ WILL UND]/& ALSO Y\R 
PLACE 9 ! :OLE & WILL KN[ Y\RSELF40 ,A%AM$ AS ,I AM TO 
CONFESS IT1 !RE WA A TIME :5 ,I SEEM$ SATISFI$ ) ?AT4 ,IT 
WAS JU/ ! TIME :5 ,I WAS MYSELF BECOM+ MORE COMPLEX & WAS 
DEVELOP+4 ,MY MUSCLES W]E GR[+ & /R5G!N+1 MY MEMORY 
WAS BE+ 5RI*$1 MY CAPACITY TO ?9K & UND]/& WAS 
9CREAS+1 ,I WAS GR[+ & DEVELOP+2 & FEEL+ ?IS GR[? 
9 MYSELF IT WAS NATURAL = ME TO ?9K ?AT SU* WAS ! 
UNIV]SAL LAW 9 :I* ,I %\LD F9D ! SOLUTION ( ! QUE/ION 
( MY LIFE4 ,BUT A TIME CAME :5 ! GR[? )9 ME CEAS$4 ,I 
FELT ?AT ,I WAS NOT DEVELOP+1 BUT FAD+1 MY MUSCLES W]E 
WEAK5+1 MY TEE? FALL+ \T1 & ,I SAW ?AT ! LAW NOT ONLY 
DID NOT EXPLA9 ANY?+ TO ME1 BUT ?AT !RE NEV] HAD BE5 OR 
C\LD BE SU* A LAW1 & ?AT ,I HAD TAK5 = A LAW :AT ,I HAD 
F\ND 9 MYSELF AT A C]TA9 P]IOD ( MY LIFE4 ,I REG>D$ ! 
DEF9ITION ( ?AT LAW MORE /RICTLY1 & IT BECAME CLE> TO ME 
?AT !RE C\LD BE NO LAW ( 5DLESS DEVELOPM5T2 IT BECAME CLE> 
?AT TO SAY1 09 9F9ITE SPACE & TIME EV]Y?+ DEVELOPS1 
BECOMES MORE P]FECT & MORE COMPLEX1 IS DIFF]5TIAT$01 IS TO 
SAY NO?+ AT ALL4 ,!SE >E ALL WORDS ) NO MEAN+1 = 9 
! 9F9ITE !RE IS NEI!R COMPLEX NOR SIMPLE1 NEI!R =W>D 
NOR BACKW>D1 NOR BETT] OR WORSE4 

,ABOVE ALL1 MY P]SONAL QUE/ION1 0,:AT AM ,I ) MY DESIRES80 
REMA9$ QUITE UNANSW]$4 ,& ,I UND]/OOD ?AT ?OSE SCI5CES 
>E V]Y 9T]E/+ & ATTRACTIVE1 BUT ?AT !Y >E EXACT & 
CLE> 9 9V]SE PROPORTION TO !IR APPLICABILITY TO ! QUE/ION 
( LIFE3 ! LESS !IR APPLICABILITY TO ! QUE/ION ( LIFE1 ! 
MORE EXACT & CLE> !Y >E1 :ILE ! MORE !Y TRY TO REPLY TO 
! QUE/ION ( LIFE1 ! MORE OBSCURE & UNATTRACTIVE !Y 
BECOME4 ,IF ONE TURNS TO ! DIVISION ( SCI5CES :I* ATTEMPT TO 
REPLY TO ! QUE/IONS ( LIFE - TO PHYSIOLOGY1 PSY*OLOGY1 
BIOLOGY1 SOCIOLOGY - ONE 5C\NT]S AN APPALL+ POV]TY ( 
?\<T1 ! GREATE/ OBSCURITY1 A QUITE UNJU/IFIABLE PRET5SION 
TO SOLVE IRRELEVANT QUE/ION1 & A CONT9UAL CONTRADICTION ( EA* 
AU?ORITY BY O!RS & EV5 BY HIMSELF4 ,IF ONE TURNS TO ! 
BRAN*ES ( SCI5CE :I* >E NOT CONC]N$ ) ! SOLUTION ( 
! QUE/IONS ( LIFE1 BUT :I* REPLY TO !IR [N SPECIAL 
SCI5TIFIC QUE/IONS1 ONE IS 5RAPTUR$ BY ! P[] ( MAN'S M9D1 
BUT ONE KN[S 9 ADVANCE ?AT !Y GIVE NO REPLY TO LIFE'S 
QUE/IONS4 ,?OSE SCI5CES SIMPLY IGNORE LIFE'S QUE/IONS4 ,!Y 
SAY3 0,TO ! QUE/ION ( :AT Y\ >E & :Y Y\ LIVE WE HAVE NO 
REPLY1 & >E NOT OCCUPI$ ) ?AT2 BUT IF Y\ WANT TO KN[ ! 
LAWS ( LI<T1 ( *EMICAL COMB9ATIONS1 ! LAWS ( DEVELOPM5T ( 
ORGANISMS1 IF Y\ WANT TO KN[ ! LAWS ( BODIES & !IR =M1 
& ! RELATION ( NUMB]S & QUANTITIES1 IF Y\ WANT TO KN[ ! 
LAWS ( Y\R M9D1 TO ALL ?AT WE HAVE CLE>1 EXACT & 
UNQUE/IONABLE REPLIES40 

,9 G5]AL ! RELATION ( ! EXP]IM5TAL SCI5CES TO LIFE'S 
QUE/ION MAY BE EXPRESS$ ?US3 ,QUE/ION3 0,:Y DO ,I LIVE80  
,ANSW]3 0,9 9F9ITE SPACE1 9 9F9ITE TIME1 9F9ITELY SMALL 
P>TICLES *ANGE !IR =MS 9 9F9ITE COMPLEXITY1 & :5 Y\ 
HAVE UND] /OOD ! LAWS ( ?OSE MUTATIONS ( =M Y\ WILL 
UND]/& :Y Y\ LIVE ON ! E>?40 

,!N 9 ! SPH]E ( AB/RACT SCI5CE ,I SAID TO MYSELF3 0,ALL 
HUMANITY LIVES & DEVELOPS ON ! BASIS ( SPIRITUAL PR9CIPLES 
& IDEALS :I* GUIDE IT4 ,?OSE IDEALS >E EXPRESS$ 9 
RELIGIONS1 9 SCI5CES1 9 >TS1 9 =MS ( GOV]NM5T4 ,?OSE 
IDEALS BECOME MORE & MORE ELEVAT$1 & HUMANITY ADVANCES TO ITS 
HI<E/ WELF>E4 ,I AM P>T ( HUMANITY1 & !RE=E MY VOCATION 
IS TO =W>D ! RECOGNITION & ! REALIZATION ( ! IDEALS ( 
HUMANITY40 ,& AT ! TIME ( MY WEAK-M9D$NESS ,I WAS SATISFI$ 
) ?AT2 BUT AS SOON AS ! QUE/ION ( LIFE PRES5T$ ITSELF 
CLE>LY TO ME1 ?OSE !ORIES IMM$IATELY CRUMBL$ AWAY4 ,NOT TO 
SPEAK ( ! UNSCRUPUL\S OBSCURITY ) :I* ?OSE SCI5CES 
ANN\NCE CONCLUSIONS =M$ ON ! /UDY ( A SMALL P>T ( MANK9D 
AS G5]AL CONCLUSIONS2 NOT TO SPEAK ( ! MUTUAL CONTRADICTIONS 
( DIFF]5T ADH]5TS ( ?IS VIEW AS TO :AT >E ! IDEALS ( 
HUMANITY2 ! /RANG5ESS1 NOT TO SAY /UPIDITY1 ( ! !ORY 
CONSI/S 9 ! FACT ?AT 9 ORD] TO REPLY TO ! QUE/ION FAC+ 
EA* MAN3 0,:AT AM ,I80 OR 0,:Y DO ,I LIVE80 OR 0,:AT MU/ ,I DO80 
ONE HAS FIR/ TO DECIDE ! QUE/ION3 0,:AT IS ! LIFE ( ! 
:OLE80 7:I* IS TO HIM UNKN[N & ( :I* HE IS ACQUA9T$ ) 
ONE T9Y P>T 9 ONE M9UTE P]IOD ( TIME4 ,TO UND]/& :AT HE 
IS1 ONE MAN MU/ FIR/ UND]/& ALL ?IS MY/]I\S HUMANITY1 
CONSI/+ ( PEOPLE SU* AS HIMSELF :O DO NOT UND]/& ONE 
ANO!R4 

,I HAVE TO CONFESS ?AT !RE WAS A TIME :5 ,I BELIEV$ ?IS4  
,IT WAS ! TIME :5 ,I HAD MY [N FAVORITE IDEALS JU/IFY+ MY 
[N CAPRICES1 & ,I WAS TRY+ TO DEVISE A !ORY :I* W\LD ALL[ 
ONE TO CONSID] MY CAPRICES AS ! LAW ( HUMANITY4 ,BUT AS SOON AS 
! QUE/ION ( LIFE >OSE 9 MY S\L 9 FULL CLE>NESS ?AT REPLY 
AT ONCE FEW TO DU/4 ,& ,I UND]/OOD ?AT AS 9 ! EXP]IM5TAL 
SCI5CES !RE >E REAL SCI5CES1 & SEMI-SCI5CES :I* TRY TO 
GIVE ANSW]S TO QUE/IONS BEYOND !IR COMPET5CE1 SO 9 ?IS 
SPH]E !RE IS A :OLE S]IES ( MO/ DIFFUS$ SCI5CES :I* TRY 
TO REPLY TO IRRELEVANT QUE/IONS4 ,SEMI-SCI5CES ( ?AT K9D1 ! 
JURIDICAL & ! SOCIAL-HI/ORICAL1 5DEAVOR TO SOLVE ! 
QUE/IONS ( A MAN'S LIFE BY PRET5D+ TO DECIDE EA* 9 ITS [N 
WAY1 ! QUE/ION ( ! LIFE ( ALL HUMANITY4 

,BUT AS 9 ! SPH]E ( MAN'S EXP]IM5TAL KN[L$GE ONE :O 
S9C]ELY 9QUIRES H[ HE IS TO LIVE CANNOT BE SATISFI$ ) ! 
REPLY - 0,/UDY 9 5DLESS SPACE ! MUTATIONS1 9F9ITE 9 TIME 
& 9 COMPLEXITY1 ( 9NUM]ABLE ATOMS1 & !N Y\ WILL 
UND]/& Y\R LIFE0 - SO ALSO A S9C]E MAN CANNOT BE SATISFI$ 
) ! REPLY3 0,/UDY ! :OLE LIFE ( HUMANITY ( :I* WE 
CANNOT KN[ EI!R ! BEG9N+ OR ! 5D1 ( :I* WE DO NOT 
EV5 KN[ A SMALL P>T1 & !N Y\ WILL UND]/& Y\R [N 
LIFE40 ,& LIKE ! EXP]IM5TAL SEMI-SCI5CES1 SO !SE O!R 
SEMI-SCI5CES >E ! MORE FILL$ ) OBSCURITIES1 9EXACTITUDES1 
/UPIDITIES1 & CONTRADICTIONS1 ! FUR!R !Y DIV]GE FROM ! 
REAL PROBLEMS4 ,! PROBLEM ( EXP]IM5TAL SCI5CE IS ! SEQU5CE 
( CAUSE & EFFECT 9 MAT]IAL PH5OM5A4 ,IT IS ONLY NECESS>Y 
= EXP]IM5TAL SCI5CE TO 9TRODUCE ! QUE/ION ( A F9AL CAUSE 
= IT TO BECOME NONS5SICAL4 ,! PROBLEM ( AB/RACT SCI5CE IS 
! RECOGNITION ( ! PRIMORDIAL ESS5CE ( LIFE4 ,IT IS ONLY 
NECESS>Y TO 9TRODUCE ! 9VE/IGATION ( CONSEQU5TIAL PH5OM5A 
7SU* AS SOCIAL & HI/ORICAL PH5OM5A7 & IT ALSO BECOMES 
NONS5SICAL4 

,EXP]IM5TAL SCI5CE ONLY !N GIVES POSITIVE KN[L$GE & 
DISPLAYS ! GREATNESS ( ! HUMAN M9D :5 IT DOES NOT 9TRODUCE 
9TO ITS 9VE/IGATIONS ! QUE/ION ( AN ULTIMATE CAUSE4 ,&1 ON 
! CONTR>Y1 AB/RACT SCI5CE IS ONLY !N SCI5CE & DISPLAYS 
! GREATNESS ( ! HUMAN M9D :5 IT PUTS QUITE ASIDE QUE/IONS 
RELAT+ TO ! CONSEQU5TIAL CAUSES ( PH5OM5A & REG>DS MAN 
SOLELY 9 RELATION TO AN ULTIMATE CAUSE4 ,SU* 9 ?IS REALM ( 
SCI5CE - =M+ ! POLE ( ! SPH]E - IS METAPHYSICS OR 
PHILOSOPHY4 ,?AT SCI5CE /ATES ! QUE/ION CLE>LY3 0,:AT AM ,I1 
& :AT IS ! UNIV]SE8 ,& :Y DO ,I EXI/1 & :Y DOES ! 
UNIV]SE EXI/80 ,& S9CE IT HAS EXI/$ IT HAS ALWAYS REPLI$ 9 
! SAME WAY4 ,:E!R ! PHILOSOPH] CALLS ! ESS5CE ( LIFE 
EXI/+ )9 ME1 & 9 ALL ?AT EXI/S1 BY ! NAME ( 0IDEA01 
OR 0SUB/ANCE01 OR 0SPIRIT01 OR 0WILL01 HE SAYS ONE & ! SAME 
?+3 ?AT ?IS ESS5CE EXI/S & ?AT ,I AM ( ?AT SAME 
ESS5CE2 BUT :Y IT IS HE DOES NOT KN[1 & DOES NOT SAY1 IF HE IS 
AN EXACT ?9K]4 ,I ASK3 0,:Y %\LD ?IS ESS5CE EXI/8 ,:AT 
RESULTS FROM ! FACT ?AT IT IS & WILL BE80 444 ,& PHILOSOPHY 
NOT M]ELY DOES NOT REPLY1 BUT IS ITSELF ONLY ASK+ ?AT QUE/ION4  
,& IF IT IS REAL PHILOSOPHY ALL ITS LABOR LIES M]ELY 9 TRY+ 
TO PUT ?AT QUE/ION CLE>LY4 ,& IF IT KEEPS FIRMLY TO ITS TASK 
IT CANNOT REPLY TO ! QUE/ION O!RWISE ?AN ?US3 0,:AT AM ,I1 
& :AT IS ! UNIV]SE80 0,ALL & NO?+02 & TO ! QUE/ION 
0,:Y80 BY 0,I DO NOT KN[04 

,SO ?AT H[EV] ,I MAY TURN !SE REPLIES ( PHILOSOPHY1 ,I CAN 
NEV] OBTA9 ANY?+ LIKE AN ANSW] - & NOT BECAUSE1 AS 9 ! 
CLE> EXP]IM5TAL SPH]E1 ! REPLY DOES NOT RELATE TO MY 
QUE/ION1 BUT BECAUSE H]E1 ?\< ALL ! M5TAL WORK IS DIRECT$ 
JU/ TO MY QUE/ION1 !RE IS NO ANSW]1 BUT 9/EAD ( AN ANSW] 
ONE GETS ! SAME QUE/ION1 ONLY 9 A COMPLEX =M4 

7,S\RCE3 ,A ,CONFESSION1 BY ,LEV ,NIKOLAYEVI* ,TOL/OY1 ,DI/RIBUT$ BY ! ,TOL/OY ,LIBR>Y ,ONL9E1 ,FIR/ DI/RIBUT$ 9 ,RUSSIA 9 #a#h#h#b1 FIR/ PUBLI%$ 9 #a#h#h#d47 

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